Love Without A Deadline

Who decided love should clock in once a year? In this pre-Valentine’s Day episode of Brunch Behavior: The Pour Report, I unpack the myth of Valentine’s Day—how a rebellious origin turned into a performance, why captions started outranking care, and what it actually takes to build a relationship that doesn’t need an audience. This is a Sip Sermon for anyone tired of measuring their heart by flowers before noon and a post by midnight.

We start with the messy history of Saint Valentine and fast-forward to today’s romance economy, where Hallmark logic and social media timelines quietly shape how we think love is supposed to look. From there, I get into the real work: consistency, emotional safety, and the everyday decisions that actually hold a relationship together. Paying attention to stress patterns. Catching tone shifts. Choosing presence over performance. Because stability is attractive, peace is magnetic, and teamwork turns love from a highlight reel into a home.

To pull the message off the timeline and into the glass, I build the Everyday Intentions cocktail—bourbon for backbone, blood orange for brightness, honey for warmth, lemon for clarity, bitters for depth, finished with an orange peel. It’s a drink that mirrors mature love: soft but strong, grounded yet bright. Along the way, I honor Black community traditions of practical care—did you eat, text me when you get home, I got you when money’s funny—and push back on the idea that one date can save or sink a relationship. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to disappear; it just can’t be the only day effort shows up.

We close with a birthday shout to Jay, a reminder to support Black-owned businesses, and a plug for the Free Pour Pack and the Brunch Behavior Summer Pack if you want more stories behind the glass. If your relationship has been leaning on February 14th to do the heavy lifting, this conversation gives you tools for the other 364 days. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs calmer love, and leave a review telling us the everyday habit that keeps your connection solid.

Chapters

• 0:00 The Valentine’s Trap
• 1:20 History, Hype, And The Price Of Love
• 3:10 From Performative To Practical
• 4:20 The Everyday Intentions Cocktail
• 5:05 What Real Love Looks Like
• 6:20 Practical Love In Our Communities
• 7:35 Stability Over Spectacle
• 8:20 Year-Round Love, Not One Night
• 9:00 Black History Month And Community Support

Transcript

Styles: 0:00

Who even started Valentine's Day? I'm looking for. Or her or them. Or it if it has a pronoun. But whatever. February's got his acting funny every year. Same calendar, same pressure, same quiet panic wrapped in red and pink. It's a single day carrying the emotional weight of relationships that have been shaky since October of last year. And somehow love, real love, got scheduled like a dentist appointment. Let's go inside. Welcome to the Brunch Behavior. The Poor Report. I'm Styles. Today's vibe, who told us love clocks in once a year? Let me break this down for you. The sip sermon. Let's take it back to the top. Who even started Valentine's Day? And why does it feel like a relationship order that nobody consented to? Because somewhere along the line, love stopped being something that we lived and turned into something that you posted. A holiday that was supposed to celebrate affection became a scoreboard. Flowers by noon, reservation by seven, caption by eleven. And if your phone didn't eat first, did love even exist? Here's a quick history moment. It's nothing that needs a syllabus. Relax. Valentine's Day traces back to Saint Valentine, or Saints Valentine, plural, because even the origin can't commit. One version says he secretly married couples when love was illegal. Another says he sent the love note right before being executed. It's crazy. So yeah, it started rebellious. Somehow it ended up with Hallmark, Instagram, and Capitalism, tag team in our motions. Nothing says romance, like a marketing meeting deciding how much love should cost this year. And check it. Before anybody side eyes me, full transparency. I've absolutely been in my hey mama. Let me show you how much I love you. Bag. Post in like relationships needed witnesses. Angles clean, captions are thoughtful, of course, because it came from this mind. Song of choice, I'm doing emotional gymnastics. You already know what it is. Meanwhile, real life was tapping me on the shoulder like, yo, psst. Let me talk to you real quick. That's cool. But um, are you tapped in emotionally? For real? Side note. Seriously though, not to separate myself from y'all, right? I've been guilty too. Loud online, light on the follow-through. I hit it with the hezzy and then missed the layup. So don't flinch. This sermon caught me in the crossfire first. What's wild though is how we let a commercially created day help us quantify an entire relationship. Like seriously, step back for a second. Forget about what your girl or your significant other might think about you if you don't get anything or do anything on this day, and just look at the macro, not the micro. I think we're standing too close to it. And then you're gonna be like, yo, styles. When or where did we get brainwashed? Anyway, one date on the calendar deciding whether love is good, mid, or in trouble. That's not romance, that's a performance review written by corporations. Real shit. And especially in our communities where love has never lived in theatrics. Instead, it lived in consistency, presence, protection, provision, and being sold when nobody's watching and there's nothing to post. Valentine's Day didn't ruin or reinforce love, it just exposed shaky foundations. Because if February 14th is doing all of the emotional heavy lifting, that relationship has been coasting since November. Real love isn't seasonal. If this is truly your person, the work shows up on random Tuesdays, not just when the calendar tells you to care. Oh, and yeah, we're gonna walk through this together. Less posting and more proving. Let me break this down in the glass for you. This drink is inspired by Brunch Behavior The Summer Pack. And since today we're talking about love, pressure, and expectations, it's only right that we pour everyday intentions. The kind of drink that balances softness and strength because real love does both. Here's what's going in the glass bourbon, blood orange juice, honey syrup, fresh lemon juice, a dash of bitters, and an orange pill for garnish. If you want to see me make this drink, check out the afterpour coming to a YouTube screen near you. Soon. Not yet. It's not ready yet. If love needs a holiday reminder, somebody missed a few meetings. Brunch behavior breakdown. What it looks like in real life. Real love isn't loud, it's repetitive. It's consistency without applause, which means you're doing it from your heart. It's checking in without being asked, it's knowing your partner's stress patterns, super important. It's paying attention to tone shifts, not just text messages. It's emotional safety, not just public affection. I'm gonna stop right here, real quick. Ladies, it's super important for you to check in on your man. It's hard being hard all fucking day and night. Pose. Provide a space for your man to take off that armor, lay it to the side, and relax. It's more than just being a safe space, it's about being a peace. Right? So you're essentially that emotional masseuse of sorts. We need that. We need that a lot. Alright, back to business. For a lot of us, especially black folks, love has always been practical. It's yo, did you eat? It's also text me when you get home. It's holding you down when money's funny and life is loud. You know, I I think for me, like the money's funny situation is one of those crowd pleasers as it relates to relationships and stuff like that. I am endeared by that. Like, yo, there's no judgment behind me fucking up some money or not even fucking up some money, just enjoying money that I'm not allowed to enjoy because you know uh my paycheck doesn't allow it, but not being judged behind it. Alright, alright, fuck all of that. Side note, let me step in. I had to save my man real quick. Flowers are cool, trips are nice, but stability, that's romantic. Security is seductive, peace is attractive, but also remember teamwork is absolute bliss. Performative looks good online, practical love feels good at home. Let's be clear, Valentine's Day doesn't need to disappear necessarily, it just needs to stop being the only day that effort shows up. The final pull. Love isn't proven by one night, one gift, or one caption. It's proven by repetition, reliability, and respect. If it's real, it doesn't clock in on the 14th and clock out on the 15th. It's all year round. Sip happens. Every sip tells a story. That's your pull for today. Okay, before we get to our plug, it's still Black History Month. Oh, before I even do that, Jesus Christ, listen, I want to send a happy birthday, a very happy birthday, to my newly 24-year-old son, Jay. I love you more than words or anything else can say. Alright, back to the uh, yeah, it's still black history mode. Go outside or doom scroll on your phone, but when you stop Doom Scrolling, make sure it is by uh on a black owned business, support them. I am a black-owned business, but you don't have to buy nothing from me. Community doesn't necessarily have to start here. Buy something, buy black, do that now. Shameless plug time, all right. If it's and let's try to get through this, I just fucked up right there. But if this hit, the free paw pack gives you five signature drinks with stories that go deeper than a glass. That's some new shit, right? And if you're ready to experience, I messed up anyway, and if you're ready for the full experience, tap into the brunch behavior summer pack available on Amazon. Alright, to get the free pour pack, go to siphappens.info and type free pour pack in the message section, and I'll get that out to you. Love that only shows up once a year isn't love, it's a reminder notification from your boy Styles. Catch you on the next pour.