The First Crack: Searching for Purpose Through Choices and Crossroads

Ever felt unheard, alone, or like life was pushing you forward without a reason? Episode 1 begins my journey through the cracks, choices, and crossroads that shaped me. 

In this premiere episode of How Did We Get Here?, I open up about the choices and cracks that shaped my journey — from high school ambition, to military service, to life-altering reality checks.

It’s honest. It’s human. And it’s the start of something real.

Let’s find our way together.

🎙️ Hosted by Jim Richmond
 📌 New episodes drop every Monday at 6:30 AM Eastern
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How Did We Get Here? — real stories about the choices, cracks, and crossroads that shape us.

Transcript

Here I am sitting here, contemplating. Let me ask you something. You ever feel like no matter what you do, it's just not enough. Or like you were supposed to do more, but never figured out what it was. Yeah? Me too. This is the first crack in more ways than one. I've always had this feeling in the back of my mind for something more. Like, is this it? Is this all there is? Surely there has to be more. But no matter what I did or how much I achieved, it just felt like something was missing. Like there should have been more. Sometimes it was a quiet whisper. Just a little nudge in the back of my mind. Relentlessly, constantly. Other times they hit like a brick in my lap. But I could never quite put my finger on what it was. Not in high school, not in the military, not even after becoming a husband or a father. Truth is, I'm still not sure I know now. The world kept moving and I kept moving with it. But that feeling never left. And neither did the question. Why? I remember being a freshman in high school when one of my teachers asked a class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I wasn't the first time that I'd heard that question. You're not going to fool me because I know exactly what I want to be when I grow up." So she went around the room calling on each student. And when she got to me, I didn't hesitate. I want to be a conservation officer," I said, "firm and confident. She smiled and moved on, but that question stirred something in me." Like, "What does a conservation officer actually do?" "True thing is I had no idea just what I saw on TV. Had to be pretty simple, right? I mean, all I had to do was direct Lassie to find Timmy and know where all the wells were. Boy, it was ironic. Once I found out what they really did day in and day out, I knew right away it wasn't for me. I loved animals and I still do, but I couldn't stomach the not so pleasant parts of the job. The injuries, the suffering, the hard cause. I wasn't built for that. So I pivoted. From animals to people. I thought, I can help people. I can make a difference. So straight out of high school, I joined the military, aim high, the ad said. By then I knew I wanted to work in law enforcement, and what better way to get experience and do the job I felt born to do. Surely now, that feeling would go away like somebody turning on a light switch. Guess what? It didn't. And like most things in life it was not what I expected. Anyone who served knows exactly what I mean from the first plane ride to the bus at O'Dark 30 to that first short haircut. Texas is hot in July. A lot of new rules, new places, new faces. And a few friends for life. Basic training, tech school, my first assignment. Straight across the pond, I went 18 and on my own, ready to take on everything life could throw at me. Oh my. But back stateside I landed in a new base in a new state. A fresh start my single life was behind me. I felt like I belonged. I was doing what I always dreamed of doing. I was so I was doing what I always dreamed of doing. I was so I thought. Long hours, sleepless nights, three jobs, family, working nights. And I saw the best and the worst of my fellow man. And maybe just maybe I started to see a little more of myself too. Looking back now, I realized I never really had time to breathe. It was always what's next. Another shift, more responsibility, another sacrifice. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I started to lose sight of who I was outside the uniform. Wearing it was like stepping into another body, another mindset. I was a different person. When I wore it with pride, but I didn't always know who I was when I took it off. When things are going good, life has a way of bringing you back to earth, sometimes in subtle ways, sometimes by knocking the wind right out of your sails. I made my share mistakes during my military and law enforcement career, but I learned some valuable life lessons. Like, it's okay to make mistakes, but you have to own them, more importantly learn from them and absolutely do not repeat them. Second chances? Well they're hard to come by, but if you get one, you better make the most of it. Life can be good, but it's also fragile. And the truth is, I didn't fully understand that yet. Here's the thing about life. It can change in a millisecond. What was once good and normal can turn dark and ugly before you even realize it. One choice, one phone call, one silent moment. It's suddenly your standing in the wreckage asking, "How did I get here?" I remember sitting in the dark once, no noise, no movement, just the hum of the refrigerator in a heart trying to find rhythm again. That's the part people don't talk about, the stillness after the fall, the silence that screams when all you can do is breathe and hope it matters. So if you're listening to this and you've ever felt lost, unseen, unheard, like the world's moving and you're stuck on the edge of it, I see you. I've been there. And as long as I have breath in my lungs, I'll be right here for you. I'm not here to preach. I'm here to talk, to share. And maybe just maybe to help someone out there feel a little less alone. If you're still here, I hope you'll stick around. Not just to hear my story, but maybe to hear echoes of your own. Because chances are, if you're listening this far far you've got a story too. I don't regret the path I've walked even the cracks in it. Maybe especially the cracks. That's where the light gets in. So if you're standing in your own wreckage right now Wondering how to move forward just know You're not the only one who's ever asked that question This is how did we get here a podcast about the choices cracks and crossroads the shapus My name is Jim Richmond. I'm still here for a reason Maybe you are - My name is Jim Richmond. I'm still here for a reason. Maybe you are too.