Episode 3 - Finding Her Way: Stasia’s Story of Strength, Acceptance & the Healing Power of Nature

In this deeply personal episode of Trail Tales WA, we sit down with Stasia — a parent, advocate, and hiker — to hear her story of navigating life with two transgender children.

Stasia opens up about the emotional challenges, the strength she found in unconditional love, and the impact that walking on country had in helping her process, reflect, and reconnect with herself. The trails became more than just a place to walk — they became a space to breathe, heal, and find direction again.

Through vulnerability and resilience, Stasia shares what it means to show up, to support your children without condition, and to rediscover your own identity along the way.

This episode is about love, nature, growth, and the power of walking through life’s toughest transitions — one step at a time.

Check out the following useful links for more information or support:

Minus 18

Transfolk WA

Wear It Purple

Transcend Australia

Living Proud WA

Freedom Centre

PFLAG Australia

Headspace - Trans & Gender Diverse Youth

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Hosted by Tracy Jones.

Produced by Cindy Jones.

Music by Andrii Poradovskyi from Pixabay.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Tracy: Trail Tales WA acknowledges the Whadjuk people of the Noongar Nation as the traditional custodians of the land on which this podcast is recorded. We recognize their deep and continuing connection to land, waters, skies, and community. We pay our respects to their elders past and present, and we extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples listening today.

We are so grateful to be sharing stories from the trails on this beautiful Boodja where we walk, reflect and connect with nature. From here on Whadjuk, Noongar land, and wherever you are tuning in, we honor the enduring strength, culture, and care of First Nations people across Australia. Welcome to Trail Tales WA the podcast where we break down barriers and share the stories we hear on the trails.

I'm your host, Tracy Jones, and I'm so excited to be sharing this journey with you in this deeply personal episode of Trail Tales WA. We sit down with Stasia, a parent, advocate, [00:01:00] and a hiker. We hear her story of navigating life with two transgender children. Stasia opens up about the emotional challenges, the strengths she found in unconditional love, the impact that walking on country had in helping her process, reflect and reconnect with herself.

The trails became more than just a place to walk. They became a space to breathe, heal, and find direction again, through vulnerability and resilience, Stasia shares what it means to show up to support your children without condition and to rediscover your own identity along the way. This episode is about love, nature, growth, and the power of walking through life's toughest transitions one step at a time. So let's get into it.

Hey, Stasia, thank you so much for joining us today, all the way from beautiful Bailingup to share your story. 

[00:01:48] Stasia: Thank you, Tracy. It's great to be here. 

[00:01:50] Tracy: Can we kick off with you just telling me a little bit more about yourself and what life looked like before you discovered hiking as a personal outlet?

[00:01:59] Stasia: Busy. Life [00:02:00] was really, really busy and I had been through a three year period of a lot of mental health load as a parent and I was looking for all sorts of things to try and help with that. I tried crocheting and that's not for me. I tried hiking and went, yay. This is for me.

[00:02:21] Tracy: Much more enjoyable than crocheting, I'm sure.

[00:02:23] Stasia: Yes, absolutely. 

[00:02:25] Tracy: And how did that first hike feel? 

[00:02:27] Stasia: The first one? I don't, I didn't really enjoy it that much, to be honest. The first one felt a little bit like, I know this is good for me. And it wasn't until after the hike that I actually felt better mentally and reflected and thought, wow, this is actually a good thing to do.

And then the second hike was better. On the third hike, I was addicted. 

[00:02:49] Tracy: Wow, that's very interesting. So you got the warm fuzzy after glow from the hike. But you didn't really necessarily get it while you were there on the trail? 

[00:02:57] Stasia: That's correct. Not the first one. 

[00:02:59] Tracy: [00:03:00] Okay. 

[00:03:00] Stasia: Now I enjoy every step of the hike.

[00:03:02] Tracy: Amazing. Great. It's about the mindset.

So what was your experience like as a mum when your children first came out as transgender? 

[00:03:11] Stasia: Well, my, one of my children first came out over eight years ago, and initially it was. Quite a shock and unexpected and quite confronting. Really. At the time I thought I was pretty open-minded and that I would've accepted any situation, and I certainly would've been supportive of a friend if they'd told me they had a transgender child.

But when my own transgender child came to me while outwardly to him, I was supportive. I had a lot of confronting thoughts and feelings. Mostly fear. 

[00:03:48] Tracy: Mm-hmm. 

[00:03:48] Stasia: Fear of what this meant for my child and for their future and for what they would have to experience from others. 

[00:03:57] Tracy: I can imagine it was probably a very scary [00:04:00] space for you to be in and your family and your child to be brave to come out to you as the person that they're identifying as.

[00:04:08] Stasia: Absolutely. And especially because this was over eight years ago. There was only negative media at that point. I hadn't experienced anything positive or seen or heard anything positive. I didn't know other families. I think I knew one lady whose child has was just coming out around about the same time, but I certainly didn't know any transgender adults.

And so the first thing I realized was basically how ignorant I was, how little I knew and how much I needed to support my child, but I had none of the skills or tools to do that. 

[00:04:46] Tracy: And where would you even go to find those skills and tools? I guess that's, that was your first thing to learn, right?

[00:04:51] Stasia: Absolutely. And it's interesting because I didn't, I had absolutely no idea and our first port of call was to my son's [00:05:00] GP. And that GP was absolutely fantastic. He also had very little knowledge, very little experience, and he said, "look, let me send you away for a week and let me spend some time researching and finding, you know, a psychologist that can help you."

And I actually requested that we both see a psychologist because I knew my son had a lot to process and I had a lot to process, and I realized that my stuff was my stuff. 

[00:05:26] Tracy: Yip 

[00:05:26] Stasia: He had enough of his own stuff to deal with, without having to deal with what mum was going through. So yeah, that was really good.

It gave us a week to kind of settle down, to get over that initial shock and to know that we were going back to someone who was going to find some support for us. 

[00:05:45] Tracy: And what did your support system look like at that time? 

[00:05:48] Stasia: The first point was the, the psychologist and she put us in touch with some support groups.

So that was some support groups for my son. So the [00:06:00] Freedom Center through trans, uh, you know, Transfolk of WA. 

[00:06:02] Tracy: Mm-hmm. 

[00:06:03] Stasia: Um, and then there's the Freedom Center. For, you know, uh, young people under 25 and they have various groups. And my son started attending there, so he was meeting other trans kids. And I was put in touch with some parent support groups, mostly Facebook private groups.

[00:06:20] Tracy: Mm-hmm. 

[00:06:20] Stasia: And that was one of the best things for me was talking to other parents who'd experienced the same thing. 

[00:06:28] Tracy: Yeah, I can imagine that would've been really helpful because what we do find in those sort of, you know, Facebook community groups or those groups with like-minded people is there's no judgment, no question's a silly question because you're all there for a similar purpose.

[00:06:42] Stasia: Well, just on that, I was put in touch because you can't just join those groups. Uh, you need to be vetted and you get, you know, you have a chat to one of the administrators on the phone, and I spent 40 minutes on the phone to this lady. Who was seven years further down the track with her transgender son, [00:07:00] and I cried for the whole 40 minutes.

[00:07:01] Tracy: Wow. 

[00:07:02] Stasia: And she was amazing because I just bawled the whole time and she talked me through a lot of things and she told me about her journey with her son. And I really came away from that phone call with a lot of hope for the future and a lot of hope that everything was gonna be okay. 

[00:07:18] Tracy: Yeah. And was that, that crying on the phone and that emotion, was that coming from a place where you'd felt like you had found someone who has walked the shoes that you were going to be in?

[00:07:28] Stasia: Huge relief. Huge relief. 

[00:07:30] Tracy: You're not alone. 

[00:07:31] Stasia: I'm not alone. 

[00:07:31] Tracy: Yeah. 

[00:07:32] Stasia: Yeah. 

[00:07:32] Tracy: So sounds like you probably went through a lot of emotional challenges. Can we talk through some of those challenges that you faced personally throughout that time? 

[00:07:41] Stasia: Some in the early days, some of the emotional challenges for me were just around trying to get the basics right, like pronouns and his name.

He had been, uh, using he/him pronouns and, um, his name with amongst his friends for six [00:08:00] months or so 

[00:08:00] Tracy: Prior to coming out to you? 

[00:08:02] Stasia: Prior to coming out to me. And so there was an adjustment and I got it wrong sometimes, and that was really hard. It just makes you feel bad when you're trying to do the right thing, but it's also a really difficult thing to do.

And I found I kind of had to fake it until I made it for a while and it didn't feel right or sound right. And you know, I look back now and I'm like, it's so crazy because now the opposite would be true for me. 

[00:08:29] Tracy: Yeah. 

[00:08:29] Stasia: If I heard his old, if somebody asked me about his old name, I would probably think, hang on. Who? 

[00:08:34] Tracy: Yeah. Who's that? 

[00:08:35] Stasia: Who, who are you talking about? And it's just, yeah, very natural and normal. 

[00:08:40] Tracy: Watching you talk now about your son and your fight, your face is actually completely lit up and you're smiling. And I know that you've probably been through a really challenging transition with your son, but it sounds like you're in such a really great place now.

[00:08:54] Stasia: I'm actually really, really grateful for having gone through this experience and [00:09:00] I'm so proud. I've learned so much from him and I'm very, very proud of him. Since then, I've actually had a second son who has also begun transitioning, and that's a much more recent event now that's about 18 months ago, and it was such a different experience.

[00:09:18] Tracy: That's, 

[00:09:18] Stasia: Well, I guess because I wasn't coming from such a great place of ignorance 

[00:09:21] Tracy: mm-hmm. 

[00:09:22] Stasia: For a start, and also because it was a more gradual process with my second son. It was kind of had been there for a much longer period of time, and so it was just kind of a much smoother transition. And because they're different people, their experience is also different.

[00:09:40] Tracy: Yep. 

[00:09:41] Stasia: Not every trans person's experience is the same. So yeah, it was, it's been a completely different experience. 

[00:09:48] Tracy: You are like a pro at this now. 

[00:09:49] Stasia: Yeah. 

[00:09:51] Tracy: So let's flick back to hiking and tell me how did hiking or being out in nature first become part of your coping or healing process? [00:10:00] 

[00:10:00] Stasia: So I actually, after about a three year period of my son's mental health being really in a very bad state, we got to a point where things were going quite well and I kind of fell into a bit of a heap.

I had a friend, I said to a friend, I think I'm having a breakdown, and they said, think of it as a breakthrough. And I found that really helpful. I thought that's a, just putting a different frame on something and that really helped me, but it was, I found the more I hiked, the more I felt like myself and the more I felt at peace and the more I wanted to do it.

[00:10:38] Tracy: You just wanted to keep getting that feeling. 

[00:10:40] Stasia: Absolutely. And I found also, it's not just that hike. There's the after effects of a hike, and I feel as though it lasts longer and longer each time I hike. 

[00:10:51] Tracy: Yeah, a hundred percent. I think that's the magic of the trails. And, and what we get from being out in that green space and nature and, and even with other people that we're [00:11:00] connecting with on the trails.

So tell me, was there a particular hike or a moment out on the trails that really stands out to you? 

[00:11:06] Stasia: Absolutely. There are quite a few, but there's one in particular, and it was last year when I did the Exmouth trip and we were, it was the second big hike. Where you're walking through all the river stones.

[00:11:20] Tracy: Oh, yes, yes. Yeah. 

[00:11:21] Stasia: And then you come up to this almost sheer rock face that you have to climb up. And I've got about halfway up and pretty much stopped and felt stuck. I felt like I can't keep going up and I can't keep going down. And Sarah was the hike guide on this, and she was so supportive. She was already at the top of course, but she was really supportive.

But behind me was Vicki and her husband. And Vicki was, they were both really, really supportive and really helped me put another foot forward because I seriously felt like you were gonna have to send a helicopter in to get me off there. And then, you know, it seems silly [00:12:00] now, but at the time it was a real moment where I felt exposed, but also really supported. 

[00:12:06] Tracy: Yeah. 

[00:12:07] Stasia: And I was really grateful for that. 

[00:12:08] Tracy: Oh, that's beautiful. And that's the, the beauty of, you know, what we do out on the trails and the, I guess the people that we attract as well. 

[00:12:16] Stasia: Absolutely. 

[00:12:17] Tracy: Like you. Yeah. How has Time Outdoors helped shift your mindset, emotions, or outlook as a parent? 

[00:12:24] Stasia: It's given me the opportunity to know that when things get a bit hard is just to take a step out. To go and take a hike or go and spend some time in nature. And actually, I think too, in the beginning when there's a lot happening, you're inclined to wanna deal with everything at once. And my husband actually said this to me, that's why time's invented because you don't have to do everything at once. And getting out into nature reminds you of that. 

[00:12:53] Tracy: Yeah. 

[00:12:53] Stasia: That there's a process and it's okay to take your time to get through that process. 

[00:12:58] Tracy: Yeah. And it's okay to put yourself [00:13:00] first. 

[00:13:00] Stasia: Absolutely. 

[00:13:01] Tracy: Because if you go down, you are no good for your family, your husband, your sons, or anyone else. 

[00:13:06] Stasia: Well, that's one of the things I found with seeing a psychologist to deal with my own stuff was the realization that I need to heal me, not just for me, but also for my family to be better to help them.

[00:13:19] Tracy: Yeah. Wow. And as a mum, how have you balanced, caring for your children while also rediscovering your own sense of self? Was that through hiking? 

[00:13:27] Stasia: Absolutely. That was through hiking and that was about doing something that was for me, and also being in a situation where I wasn't somebody's mum or somebody's wife or you know somebody's daughter where I was actually just Stasia the hiker 

[00:13:43] Tracy: Stack it Stasia 

[00:13:43] Stasia: Stack it Stasia, even when I fall over. Absolutely. 

[00:13:47] Tracy: What have you learned about strength, your own and your children throughout this journey? 

[00:13:52] Stasia: Definitely that you're stronger than you think you are, and that your children are stronger than you think they are too.

[00:13:59] Tracy: [00:14:00] Yeah. I think that's what every parent hopes for, is to just raise a good human and a strong human, resilient. So what would your tips be to all the parents out there with self-doubt right now that they're not doing a good job? 

[00:14:15] Stasia: Oh, I think that if you are having those feelings, then you're definitely doing a good job because you're thinking that way and feeling that way if you are worried about it.

You're probably doing a really good job. 

[00:14:24] Tracy: Okay. 

[00:14:25] Stasia: The other thing I would say is that I remember, because I have four children, I have two older children than my two trans kids. I can remember thinking when they're teenagers, those early preteens and teen years, that they're not listening. And when they get to like 21, 22, this stuff comes back to you and you go, oh.

They were listening. 

[00:14:44] Tracy: They were listening. Okay. Thank you. That's a note I'm making for myself right now. And what advice would you give to other parents of LGBTQIA plus children who may be feeling overwhelmed or un, unsure? 

[00:14:57] Stasia: To absolutely reach out for [00:15:00] support and to talk to other parents in the same situation.

[00:15:03] Tracy: Yeah. And that has done wonders for you? 

[00:15:05] Stasia: Absolutely. I couldn't have got through what I did without the support of other parents. 

[00:15:11] Tracy: Yeah. Amazing. How important is inclusion both in society and in nature-based spaces for families like yours? 

[00:15:18] Stasia: It's very, very important. I think that representation makes a difference when you can see others like yourself.

And inclusion means for me that everybody's represented. And welcome and not judged and you like, you could just kind of feel like in a diverse group of people, it's a more productive, more cohesive type situation. 

[00:15:46] Tracy: Yeah. 

[00:15:46] Stasia: It's easier to achieve things when you're all working in the right, same direction.

[00:15:50] Tracy: Yeah. 

[00:15:51] Stasia: So, yeah, I just think that it's a. It's a better thing all round. 

[00:15:55] Tracy: Yeah, a hundred percent. 

[00:15:56] Stasia: Not just in families, but in, in [00:16:00] workplaces and you know, all sorts of things. 

[00:16:02] Tracy: I just, I personally don't understand how we're not more inclusive as a society. I think we've come a very long way in the last five, 10 years, and things are pretty good out there, but there's still definitely room for improvement and room for education because I think a lot of the, maybe fear is because it's unknown.

And as, as Bob Cooper survival expert would say, knowledge, dispels fear. So with that being said, what is your advice to someone who wants to be an ally or a supporter or even understand more about transgender people? 

[00:16:37] Stasia: So that's a really big one because it's just about getting educated and there are so many groups where support groups or organizations that provide information.

There's national groups like Transcend Australia. Minus 18 and Equality Australia. There are lots of groups, PFLAG groups in every state, and also within Western [00:17:00] Australia, there's Trans Folk of WA. You know, there's an, oh, I can't think of them right now, but there are a lot of groups in WA and it doesn't take much to search and find.

You know, someone, a group that you feel would be helpful to you or that yeah, you can seek help from. 

[00:17:16] Tracy: Amazing. And we'll pop some of those links up on the podcast description. So if anyone does want to find out more or, um, 

[00:17:25] Stasia: Living Proud WA 

[00:17:26] Tracy: Oh, Living Proud. Okay. If you do want to find out more information, we'll we'll pop those links up there, but.

As Stasia said, a quick Google search and you should be able to find some answers. 

[00:17:36] Stasia: One more thing on the allyship piece is so like there are a number of days throughout the year that you know signify at certain events and it's always good to learn more about those events. 

[00:17:49] Tracy: So Stasia, will you be wearing purple on the 29th of August this year?

[00:17:53] Stasia: Absolutely. I always wear purple on, Wear It Purple Day. And I usually post a photo of myself wearing [00:18:00] purple on Instagram or Facebook and I usually wear some pins. Uh, so like, you know, transgender flag and non-binary flag, and usually a rainbow flag. It just starts conversations. And it's also a way of showing people, you know, if you're on a train and someone sees something like that, they know that you're a safe person.

I know that in certain workplaces, if you see a rainbow on someone's wall or on their handbag, it's just an indicator that that's someone who's safe to talk to. 

[00:18:33] Tracy: Amazing. Well, we'll be wearing purple on the 29th of August. 

[00:18:36] Stasia: Fantastic. I can't wait to see the photos. 

[00:18:38] Tracy: Maybe we should all try and hit the trails together, wearing our excellent purple clothing and our flags.

Stasia, thank you so much for sharing your journey with us today. Your story is a very powerful reminder of the way that nature can heal us. If you're listening and feeling inspired, check out OTBT's range of hiking tours on our website. [00:19:00] Or find yourself a trail on trailswa.com.au and let nature soothe your soul too.

Be sure to follow Trails Tales WA for more stories, just like Stasia's. We'll be back soon with another Trail Tale. But until then, keep walking, keep talking. And remember, inclusion isn't an add-on. It's a right!