The Refreshingly Normal Podcast with Kēfla and Cree
The Refreshingly Normal Podcast
Welcome to The Refreshingly Normal Podcast, where real life meets real laughs. We are Kēfla and Lucrecia (Cree), a married couple of 22 years, long-time educators, and now stepping into the world of mental health counseling. Think of us as your favorite Unc and Auntie of the podcast world, keeping it honest, heartfelt, and hilariously human.
We’re also proud parents of twin young men who just turned 21 and are officially stepping into adulthood, which means paying their own bills (finally!). From raising kids to letting go, we’re navigating this new chapter with the same mix of love, humor, and a little side-eye.
Each week, we dive into the ups and downs of parenting, love, marriage, dating, and everything in between, served with a side of humor and practical wisdom. Whether we’re sharing lessons from the classroom, stories from our travels, or awkward moments at the gym or dinner table, one thing’s for sure, we keep it refreshingly normal.
So grab a cup of coffee (or a protein shake) and join the conversation. It’s therapy meets kitchen table talk… and you’re invited.
The Refreshingly Normal Podcast with Kēfla and Cree
We Made It Work for $5,000 and a Gift Card to Chili's
Have you ever wondered how some couples make it look so easy? In this heartwarming episode, we pull back the curtain on our own love story that began 22 years ago at Edison Blair Elementary School in Dallas, Texas. What started as a professional relationship between two educators—Kefla as the PE teacher and Cree teaching third grade—evolved into something neither of us expected, especially since one of us was engaged to someone else at the time!
We take you through every step of our journey: from awkward first impressions to that memorable first date at Chili's (paid for with a gift card!), through the careful dance of dating as coworkers, to a creative spa proposal that left Cree speechless. You'll hear about our $5,000 wedding that proved you don't need extravagance to create lasting memories, and the real challenges we faced as newlyweds navigating career dreams and starting a family.
But this isn't just our story—it's a candid conversation about what makes relationships last. We share the uncomfortable truths about the work marriage requires and why, as Kefla puts it, "You walk up to the altar with your boyfriend, but you leave with a husband you don't even know." Through job losses, cross-country moves, and raising twins, we've discovered that lasting love isn't about perfection but about having two people who "want it just as much."
Whether you're single, dating, or celebrating decades together, this episode offers honest insights about building a partnership that continues to grow through life's inevitable changes. Join us for some laughs, a few tears, and plenty of refreshingly normal wisdom about finding and keeping love in the real world.
Send us your Questions or Comments and we’ll answer them on the show.
Don't forget to Like, Comment, Share, and Subscribe.
Thank you for listening!
The Refreshingly Normal Podcast. Welcome back everybody. Thank you for tuning in to the Refreshingly Normal podcast. I am Kifla.
Speaker 1:I am Cree or Lucrecia.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you crazy for sure.
Speaker 1:That's my Spanish Lucrecia.
Speaker 2:So thank you all for it's me, it's me.
Speaker 1:Si, si face here.
Speaker 2:so thank y'all for it's me. It's me. Thank y'all for, uh, you know, checking in with us all the time. Man, it feels good to for these numbers to be going up. Uh, seeing all the downloads and hearing people say little stuff, uh that they've heard on you know other episodes, uh, I mean it's crazy, because I had all this equipment, like during COVID, I think it was For years, yeah, for years, and I've been either motivated, threatened or chastised for not doing anything with it by a particular individual. And so now we're finally doing something with it and I'm liking what we're doing so far. So let's get right to it, all right.
Speaker 1:So last time.
Speaker 2:Last episode, we had a few things that we forgot to mention. Yes, Because, we didn't know the name of that one restaurant.
Speaker 1:Right. So we talked about our friends and how we went to a Thai restaurant. That's in Atlanta, but that Thai restaurant is called Tiki Thai. It is beautiful inside. You may not know, but there's like a lot of artwork. It looks like it's wallpaper, but one of the young ladies that works there, she actually hand painted it all.
Speaker 2:Yes, by herself, it's very intricate. Yes, I mean very detailed, like small little details on the wall and stuff. Man, it's crazy this young lady is so talented.
Speaker 1:But anywho, it's very creative. The food is presented well, the drinks are presented amazingly well, so we just wanted to make sure we shout it out Tiki Tot.
Speaker 2:I wish I knew the owner's name, but she's amazing Very very good spirit, you can tell instantly. Her spirit is amazing and I see why Mike and Meg love him so much man.
Speaker 1:Mike and Meg.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, Michael Dwayne.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm sorry, I don't call him Mike. Yeah, we call him Pope, okay.
Speaker 2:I was like, wait, we call my guy poe uh football season, so we won't even be able to see them because they're going to be going to uh northern illinois university to see uh their son play football. He's running back up there. Jaylen poe is a beast, so check him out.
Speaker 1:You know, running back for niu yeah, tell them about the one thing you didn't know the clothing brand that you got yes, the clothing brand, um, that was on the little strip right there in little tokyo was called from flowerscom.
Speaker 2:Uh, very, very cool gear. They had what these shirts are called um. I think kimani called them um swole covers or, uh, yeah, swole covers. I mean because, like, if you swole they're kind of oversized, so they cover the swole. But I'm not swole, so just oversized shirts for me, because look at you talking some.
Speaker 1:Oh, she was about to dig in, I was not going to, because he does have nice shoulders and traps and which y'all heard that.
Speaker 2:Oh, rewind that.
Speaker 1:I thought you were gonna go back and say something about that's why I got it, Because I got traps and shoulders. But then you was like I ain't got nothing.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh hey, I got it because I'm trying to get back to that point and I feel like it's coming. But I mean some very nice gear. I actually only wanted to get a hat, but my man, you know his deals were so good, and you know his deals were so good, and so I'm going to pump his products like as much as I can.
Speaker 1:So yeah, and then one other thing that I was like I did not mention when we were going to LA, suzy called and was like hey, do you guys want to go to the Diana?
Speaker 2:Ross concert yes.
Speaker 1:And I was like, oh yeah, sure, I'm thinking, well, maybe somebody gave Suzy tickets.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So then I told Kee well, she didn't say anything about it. I said, well, ask her how much are the tickets?
Speaker 2:Because she's always at concerts and she's not just at concerts. Like she's there, like the singer, she can almost turn their microphone down. That's how close she is to this artist at concerts.
Speaker 1:And so he called her or texted her and she said the price of the tickets. I was like it was $300. I'm not paying Like I love Diana Ross, but like I just 300 for us is 300 plus two. I was like nah, nevermind. We'll pass, and so then um, but I really wanted to go because I love Tracy Ellis. Ross, we both do, and I was like man wouldn't that be cool if we?
Speaker 2:go.
Speaker 1:When I thought the tickets were free. I was like wouldn't that be cool if we go and we see Tracy Ellis Ross?
Speaker 2:And what were you going to say to her?
Speaker 1:I was going to say to her don't nobody buy dude like you do, Because that's what she said on.
Speaker 2:Girlfriend.
Speaker 1:And I love, I just love her. And so I said if I see her there I'm going to say, Tracy, don't nobody, but do like you do. But anywho, the story goes on to say Susie went and she had a little box and guess who was right next to her box? Nobody, but who.
Speaker 2:Tracy Ellis Ross and she kept coming back to her box. Susie said because they were at the Hollywood Bowl. And so the Hollywood Bowl has like little things where it's kind of set up like it'll be like Korean right here and bowl. And so the hollywood bowl has like little things where it's kind of set up like it'll be like kree and I right here and it has like a little metal railing right there and box, and then it's another box. And she was right freaking there like kept coming to her box, speaking to her, looking at her like oh my god, do you see that?
Speaker 2:and she was like omg. I said, yeah, kree would have died and I would have been so jelly.
Speaker 1:But maybe the good, good Lord said girl, I'm not going to put you there, so you can embarrass yourself by saying don't nobody buy dude like you do they would have security, get her out of here. So anyways, that was something I was like oh shoot, but anyways, so yeah.
Speaker 2:So those are the things we had to catch up on. Yeah, because when we listen to the episodes and, to be honest, like it's like when you hear celebrities say, yeah, I don't watch, uh, my movies and stuff like that I don't watch, you know, um, you know my song yeah, and so I I've.
Speaker 2:I listened to a rough draft of the you know, previous episode and I was like there's some things we need to say Cause we've been trying to get the microphone issues correct for so long. And, um, and I was like, oh, this is pretty good. And so it was like some things that we had to say and had to correct, cause I don't like saying uh, oh, and I don't know the name of the restaurant, I don't know the name of the shirt, I don't know the name of the shirt, I don't know the name of the place because, especially if it's a good spot, we were trying to put you on, because we are known as the couple that put people on for a lot of places. Right, food, uh, rest, I mean not, restaurant, that same thing. Vacations, good deals, yep, shows to watch, just all kinds of stuff, like, for whatever reason, people do trust our judgment.
Speaker 1:so that's pretty cool all right.
Speaker 2:So you know, it's been a lot of people wondering wondering why how did this all start and I'm not talking about the podcast, yeah how did this crazy little thing called love that we have get started? Yeah you know, and, and there are. You know, if you ever watched the episode where martin and gina tell you know their story, like, I think, pam had a version of it.
Speaker 2:You know, martin's a nerd in one and the other martin's like a pimp and all that kind of stuff. So we, we kind of have two different versions, but they always blend into the same versions, you know. So how did it all start? Matter of fact, where did it all begin?
Speaker 1:it all began in Dallas, texas, at a little elementary school called Edison Blair Edison Blair Academy. I was going to call EW Oliver.
Speaker 2:No, that's another school.
Speaker 1:Yes, it was at Blair, that's where it all started. I was a teacher there, someone else, he was also a teacher there, the PE teacher there.
Speaker 2:We started at that school the same year.
Speaker 1:Yes, we started the same year at that school. I moved from Kansas because for me I was like there's got to be more out there in the world than Kansas, and so I ventured that way because one of my best friends had moved there. I had visit her often and I was like I like Dallas, so I just leaped and found me a job and moved my little self by myself there.
Speaker 2:And I left uh well, I actually left Alabama, moved to California for a couple of months, came back, was trying to get a in the grad school. My HBCU said they had a scholarship. Last minute they didn't have a scholarship, so I moved back from that and so then I had to find a way to get to California on somebody else's dime, because my whole goal was to be an actor. You know, I wanted to be an actor for a very long time and so I found a. I started looking up companies that would pay you to move. You know that offer relocation. I said I don't care what job it is, I just want to relocate to a larger city and then I'll go from there. So I found a company and I was working as an insurance claims adjuster a position in Miami, atlanta, new York, minnesota and Dallas and so I didn't want to be cold in Minnesota. New York was too expensive, miami was super expensive.
Speaker 2:The young lady I was dating at the time didn't want me to move to Atlanta. I guess, you know, because the Atlanta numbers was crazy, and so I guess she thought I was going. And now I know why because her aunties were saying don't you let that boy go, all that kind of stuff. And so I was like Texas, I like, I mean, I never been to Texas. The only time I went to Texas was when I was in military. Oh wow, I was in San Antonio, okay. And so I was like you know, hey, let's go.
Speaker 2:And I moved to Dallas, texas, and I worked on the job for three months and they let me go. They was like you know, hey, we're having cutbacks, and so last hired, first fired. But they didn't make me pay the relocation expense. That was God, because a lot of times when they let you go before the six months trial, you have to pay the relocation back. So I didn't have to pay the relocation back. And, um, but what the crazy thing about that is, the week prior this lady gave me uh, because she knew I had a teaching degree, the lady that was in the office, some older lady who was looking out for me, and she said there's a job fair happening a couple days, won't you go? So she had circled it for me in the want ads. And as I went to the job fair, that's when I ran into the two ladies from Blair, and the next day I had an interview and I got the job.
Speaker 1:That's so funny. You say that she circled the want ads. Yeah, yeah, Most people are like what is that? What are want?
Speaker 2:ads, and so I got the job and got fired less than a week later from the other job.
Speaker 1:Look at God.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. And then started working at Edison Blair Academy.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I remember getting my classroom set up and I think it's one of the ladies that recruited you. Yeah, she was going around introducing you to everyone and when I saw him I said he looks so familiar and I just Looks like the guy I dream about. No, that's not what I said. I think I might have said were you on Roll Rules? I said, or you look familiar or I said something like. I maybe didn't say Roll Rules.
Speaker 2:You said I've seen you before. Yeah, and then the young lady said said I've seen you before yeah. And then the young lady said oh, you were on road rules, I was on road rules. And then you said yes, because One of my sorority sisters.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so I said oh, I said oh, yes.
Speaker 1:I said because one of my sorority sisters met him at some kind of alpha convention or somewhere the national panhandle, panhandle thing, okay in atlanta and she got a picture with him. I remember her coming back and I was either in her room or she. It was one of our sorority meetings, I don't know, but she had brought the picture of her with. She's like y'all don't believe who I met. I met keith and I remember looking at the picture and I was like you see, it fell out, everybody I was like okay, like I don't know, that's such a big deal.
Speaker 1:It was a little jelly, just didn't want to admit I don't know if I was jelly or not, but I was like, okay, um, and so I I put all that together to know, oh yeah, I had I remember. I remember my sorority sister saying that and so, um. So then I was like, well, it's nice to meet you. I think he said it nice to meet you. And she was just taking him down the row and then, as she was walking him down, she stopped. She said girl, that's going to be my husband.
Speaker 1:And I said oh, OK, girl, you go then. And that's what I said, and then I just continued to like get my little classroom together you to like get my little classroom together, yeah, and so we worked together?
Speaker 2:uh, well, of course we worked together, but I was teaching pe at the time? And what grade were you teaching um that first year? Because you, you flip no, I was third.
Speaker 1:What was I was third grade? Yes, because I looped with them to fourth grade.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the first year I had third graders and at that time I got engaged in August of that year and my fiance actually moved from Alabama and was living there with me in Dallas. And you know, just over time, our you know, my dreams were the same about moving to LA or, even if I couldn't move to LA, spending my entire summers in LA trying to audition. That was my whole purpose. My whole purpose. But that was the main reason why I became a teacher is because I wanted time off to be able to do that. When I found out teachers got paid over the summer, you know, like a check, check, I was like bet because I can go to LA, stay with my cousin and audition. You know, until I make it big and that dream that we had, we shared in college, it didn't align once we got out of college, once we got engaged. And so you know, unfortunately, you know, I'm not saying unfortunate, but fortunately, you know, because you know what we had was, you know what we considered to be good.
Speaker 1:Well, we don't say why you're saying unfortunately, yeah, but you know, some people say oh, unfortunately, you know how it is you know how some people yeah.
Speaker 2:But it was no infidelity, it was nothing like that to make us break up. It was just the fact that two paths were not connected or aligned or not aligned yeah, perfect, thank you. We were not aligned and so we had to break up the engagement. You know, I broke up the engagement, you know. So when people say what is the hardest thing you had to do, I would say that is because it was. It's easy to break up with somebody when somebody's in the wrong yeah.
Speaker 2:But when there is no real wrong, it's just that we're not. We're not where we used to be. That was, that was tough, and so, uh, but everything, god's plan worked, and so for so that year this was like january, I think, yeah, january, when I broke off my engagement. So nobody knew until we what may, right?
Speaker 1:no, no, no no, they knew, they knew about, they knew about april yeah, it was like that's when I went on that trip.
Speaker 2:So so in April, to be honest, it was, and I think what. When cause you went on the trip with, I forgot the teacher's name.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just remember her being with blonde hair. That day forget her name though.
Speaker 2:She came and asked like well, not the date, but before she went on that trip. Oh, uh-huh, she asked, and she was like so who are you? I said, and somebody and what's the name said my other coworker, female, said he's engaged. And then I was like no, actually I'm not. And they all was like what? And so she went on a trip.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Because I remember her. Now, when you say a trip, I remember her saying oh, we're going on a trip together, something like that. I was like oh, okay. Yeah, and I think that's dope yeah.
Speaker 1:With us working together. I knew he was engaged, so of course, if anybody you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's not anybody you should be looking at Right. So that.
Speaker 2:And professional with everything. You know, that was just. You know I was. That's just who I am, you know, yeah, yeah, we were very professional with each other, but the thing about it was just because.
Speaker 2:I was engaged did not stop me from noticing who were good people, who were people that I've said, oh, that she's cool, I like her. She's she's though. I like how she handled the kids. He's cool, I like how he's. He's a respectful young man, how he's doing this, that's you know, because a lot of people say, well, so you was checking him out, or whatever.
Speaker 2:You know how people say even if you start dating your work person after you break up with somebody, oh, y'all was probably messing around from the jump. No, it's just that you're not blind just because you are in a relationship. Yeah, you still notice what a a good person like, what a bad person looks like when you are in a relationship, and so those things were. The core you know like little things about you was when you know we would take kids out for PE and you would race your kids, you would jump rope with your kids, you would. When they would come to play basketball or something, you would take a shot or you would joke with, uh, you know the co-workers and stuff. So it was like, oh, she's real, real chill, real chill. Um, you know, yes, it did.
Speaker 2:It did help that you were very attractive, you know, very good looking, thank you, and so all that did help. But you know, that was just the things that I noticed, you know, and you know, when I got, when I broke up and nobody knew, nobody knew. I kept it because I wanted to work on myself. That was one of the reasons I didn't want to jump back into relationships. I wanted to work on myself. So I said let me, let me, let me minimize these distractions and just get it right.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I said let me minimize these distractions and just get it right. Yeah, and so I went to a train-the-trainer thing to learn how to be a trainer for SFA.
Speaker 2:Yeah, reading, trainer Reading trainer.
Speaker 1:And so I went to that and one of the ladies or one of my colleagues that I went with, she and I were just talking and she's like where are you dating? And I was like no, I'm not really dating anybody seriously. It's like I haven't really had much luck with finding somebody that you know I really connect with. Like I go on dates with people, but nothing. Like I'm like, yeah, you know serious. And so she said we've got to find you somebody. I go, okay, well, good luck, you know. And so she says oh, I know who. And I was like who, and she's like Coach Hair. And I go, no, I said he's engaged, and she says not anymore. No, I said he's engaged and she says not anymore. I'm gonna put that together. And I was like I didn't say no, don't do it. I said okay, well, you know, I just didn't, I just kind of laughed and whatever. And then I left it at that and I don't know what happened after that she came to back to the gym and asked.
Speaker 2:She said so you're not dating anyone. I said no, I'm not dating anyone. She said so would you date someone you work with? I said yeah, I don't see why I wouldn't. I said you know, because I know how to be professional. She said what about Miss Scott? Would you date Miss Scott? I said yeah, I would date Miss Scott, but you know she probably didn't want to date nobody like me. I'm, you know, country boy from you know. And she was like what do you mean?
Speaker 2:I said I don't know, she just seemed, you know, a little different, you know.
Speaker 1:He had already decided what kind of man I like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you know, one day I had to come, I was doing something and it was this little.
Speaker 1:Al.
Speaker 2:B Shore looking cat up in there. So y'all know who.
Speaker 1:Al B Shore is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was kind of taller than me.
Speaker 1:You know, curlybie, sure is, yeah, hey, he's kind of taller than me. Okay, he had curly hair. Okay.
Speaker 2:Everything I didn't have. So I was like, okay, bet, and so that's what I said. But no, he said if she wanted to go out on a date with you, would you go out? I said, of course, and she was like really. I said, yeah, but I think you might have a chance. I said, how do you know that? She said I just know. I said remember that training we went on together. I said, yeah, I just think you might have a chance. And then I think she's the one that said you were in the office.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if I'm not mistaken, I think she was the one that said you were in. No, okay.
Speaker 1:No, I walked into the office Right right, right, right.
Speaker 2:She said, well, don't miss out, uh-huh. And I said yes, and I was like, yeah, you're right, because if she's not dating nobody looking that good, I better take my chances. And so I went into the office one day.
Speaker 1:He was picking up his Avon.
Speaker 2:Yes, one of the ladies does Avon, and so one of the mosquitoes in Avon, and so you know one of the mosquitoes, and if you're from the South, you know the skin is so soft. The oil and then the lotion was good. And then they had this foot cream that you just use to keep my feet right. Like I'm from the. You know, I grew up what seven miles from the beach so I wore flip-flops. You, you know all kinds of things like that, so I don't mind showing my little toes.
Speaker 2:So I wanted to make sure I was legit. Anytime, you know I'm, I'm gonna come correct, and so I'm picking up my stuff and she's like what are you doing in here? Uh, with, uh, foot stuff, because I had it in my hand. She saw it. I said I like to get my feet done. I could do yours if you want to. I said you want me to do yours, and she said you can. I said oh, okay, and so I waited. She was like, when she said you can, she had a look and I was, oh, that's an inviting look. And so we exchanged numbers and I said, okay, well, we're going to make a date then.
Speaker 2:You know, and I don't know if we made a date we didn't you called me that afternoon. You called probably like five, like five or six o'clock. Let me write when I got from the gym I went straight home to the gym and called it. Yeah and uh, we wound up going out on a on a date yes, our very first day talk about it, oh shoot.
Speaker 1:We went to Chili's.
Speaker 2:Shout out to.
Speaker 1:Chili's, I do remember because at school yeah talk about it At school. He wears PE clothes.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:So I didn't really know, like what to quite expect what he would wear, like what it would be, like I didn't, because I'd never seen like.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know, never seen like yeah you know, regular everyday clothes or whatever, and so I remember specifically what you had on.
Speaker 1:I know what I had on, so it was some plaid pants from american eagle and a white t-shirt, or white sleeveless white maybe one sleeveless. It might have been a white t-shirt white t, white t and I was like, oh, I think I like that little outfit, and so we ended up going to chili's yep, and how did I pay with chili's? And when he went to chili's now I know this, like later he didn't tell me no, he might have told me this yeah he took me to chili's with a gift card shout out that our secretary at school uh miss um.
Speaker 2:At school, miss McKee, no.
Speaker 1:Oh, miss it's Bud's mama. Oh man.
Speaker 2:I'm so. Oh my gosh, I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
Speaker 1:I can't either because I talk to her on Facebook all the time and my brain is going blank, but I'm going to get it by the time we get done.
Speaker 2:But we always used to get gift cards from our principal too, for doing great things, and it just so happened that I had spent my last gift cards and so they used to make sure that I was always. When I tell you, those people at that school took care of me. Everybody made sure I was straight. Coach Hale was straight man. You know the older ladies I was like their grandson or son. You know older ladies I was like they, they, they grandson or son. You know, um, miss wall, miss wall. That's right, miss wall miss wall.
Speaker 2:We're sorry we had a glass of wine.
Speaker 1:Yes, we did have wine before but um, yeah, we uh.
Speaker 2:Miss wall gave me a gift card and I think it was like 30 dollars, 30, 40 dollars and that's. That's good enough to spend.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and of course I'm not like expensive then either.
Speaker 2:And I didn't know that. You know, and I wasn't worried about it because my thing was, if me spending the gift card was going to be a turnoff to her, then that wasn't a woman for me.
Speaker 1:No, so he did, he spent the gift card. I remember having that little pasta dish that they had One of my favorite things at Chili's.
Speaker 2:At Chili's. I think Chili's the one with the chicken fajita. Now that's Applebee's.
Speaker 1:That's Applebee's, I don't know, but I don't eat beef or pork, so it was chicken or something. I think you had a black bean burger, that's right, black bean burger.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what we said at the same time. Yeah, it was the black bean burger and um.
Speaker 1:After that we went to your crib and I had a friend that was there for the weekend was that they sang uh-huh yeah, she was there and um so, um, you had come. I think you did, because I think she maybe ended up leaving, going to do a date or going to do something, and so it was just you and I, and you ended up. I think maybe I babysat too. I think I ended up babysitting her baby and then her daughter, and then you did do, did you do my toes that?
Speaker 2:night. Yeah, yeah, I did.
Speaker 1:I hooked you up.
Speaker 2:I'm a man of my word yeah. I did them, little piggies, the little footsies.
Speaker 1:And so that was that, and then I think we did have. Uh, did we cancel?
Speaker 2:on the first yes, that's because we we always say you didn't laugh and oh my god.
Speaker 1:She was like oh, he's making this up.
Speaker 2:No, y'all when I went in, because I asked. I asked I said you mind if I give you a kiss? She was like she said yes, you can give me a kiss, and I leaned in.
Speaker 1:Maybe I laughed because he asked that, because I don't think anybody's ever asked me that before.
Speaker 2:But she and so like she wasn't laughing right after I said that it was like when.
Speaker 2:I got close to her and I grabbed her you know her face a little soft and grabbed her cheeks and I leaned in and gave her a kiss. She started giggling. I looked back and she was like what? And I went back in for another one and then it was a little deeper, the kiss was a little more passionate, but then I got up out of there because they had church in the morning and so, yeah, I had that rule for a minute.
Speaker 1:What was my rule? So once we started dating dating, the rule was he would not do have any nookie on saturday nights because he had to go to church in the morning.
Speaker 2:It was the craziest thing, hey I'm telling you I was trying to get right and but but okay, let me jump forward.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so jump forward to our wedding okay when I said that too, that, that, that too. What do you mean on the honeymoon night?
Speaker 2:but you go oh, that was, that was just so.
Speaker 1:It was everywhere everybody everyone, but it was still yeah, yeah, that was there, that was I think if it were today, and how we've caught, how you are today, you would have.
Speaker 2:You would have said they'll be fine I'm gonna enjoy my night, yes at that point in your life that those things were because it was so many it was precedent and it was the people that went out didn't have nothing, yeah it's there and so it was like but you know, like life learned, you know life, and then I didn't think about what I'm explaining to y'all is because y'all like what are they even talking?
Speaker 1:about on our after our wedding we went um back to our room. I will say we I probably, if I would have known, would have said can somebody clean up the room before we come back? But because I had gotten dressed there with my bridesmaids and so when we got back, it was a first I was a pickle. But he also, all of our family, my family and his family are all staying in the same hotel and so you know know him being so. I was grateful for my people being there, but I also knew it was my night and they were not expecting to see me at all. Um, I don't think they were expecting to see him at all either, but he just felt like he wanted to personally go and see them and say thank you and do all the things.
Speaker 1:And so we ended up going to the hotel, spending time there, and then the next day he wanted to go to church on the sunday, because they will recognize the people that got married and all the things. And I was just like, but it's our, we just got married, we're supposed to be honeymoon in and and I didn't push back, I just went with the flow of everything that he wanted to do and I probably should have just said, no, we're not doing that, we're going to enjoy this night, um. But I just went with the flow with everything that he said to do.
Speaker 2:You know that he wanted to do um, but later I was like I should have said no yeah, but I mean that's you know, one of the things, like with that night, of course, like we didn't consecrate on our, you know, our night of our honeymoon, like you know, most people do. But to be honest, I wasn't thinking about that night, I was thinking about the life, because that's what brought me to. What I was about to say was, when we got married and when we said I do, it was a big burden off of me because I felt like I was such a good person that the only thing that will keep me out of heaven will be premarital sex. And so when we said I do, I was like that's all I thought about. I can have as much sex as I want to, and you know, like no guilt, no, nothing, no Lord, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:No more Saturday night.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, yeah, no running, but none of that. But really that's what I, that's the, that's what I felt. I felt like yo, I'm like I try to treat people the best I can. I try to do it, you know, and I wasn't drinking and nothing like that at the time, and I was like the only thing I felt like that would keep me out of the gates of heaven would be premarital sex.
Speaker 2:and so when we said I do, I was like it's just like all right, not um okay you know, not that night, you know I get up on that night I was just like, oh, we get it's gonna be amazing and but, like you said, it was just so much going on because we didn't even take a wedding picture, you and I by ourselves, because we were still who we, yeah, are naturally trying to make sure everything else was right we moved forward. Let's go back yeah, I know, I know, but I'm saying my bad. But okay, so now we were dating, yeah but we went back to the.
Speaker 2:You know, on Saturday nights we wouldn't.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay, and so um, we started just dating, not completely, not serious but, just dating the end of the school year. Um, that was year. Yeah, that's the our second end of the end of our first year, okay, the end of our state in dallas two years okay so end of our first year, so that summer, um, I moving going to move out of my apartment because I did not know I moved into the ghetto.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I found that out and you spent the summer with.
Speaker 2:Sherita, that was the summer prior.
Speaker 1:No, no, it couldn't be the summer prior.
Speaker 2:I spent two summers with Sherita.
Speaker 1:No, the first summer I don't know where you stayed.
Speaker 2:The first summer I did because, I didn't did, because that's when I got let go when I didn't know you. Yeah, I don't know what you did then. Yeah, because I got let go from my job.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I didn't know you, then I spent two summers there? I don't know, I didn't know you then yeah.
Speaker 2:So I did that something. So the next summer you went and you went with sharita. Yeah, because we was always on the phone and sharita kept saying that she loved jones and she kept saying that's the love jones right there. And so she was. She's like yo, I'm telling you, she's the one. I'm telling you she kept saying that because she would hear how our conversations were and she would hear how she said I'm telling you, she sounds smart, she has a good head on her shoulders, she teaches, she's not relying upon anybody. And you said her family was amazing, I'm telling you. And she kept saying that. And so that is one of the things that kind of made me okay, continue to move forward. Yeah, but it was also scary at that time.
Speaker 1:Yes, because you were engaged, no, not. Then what I mean I'm talking about prior to?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It was scary to break off something in the short time.
Speaker 2:And the first person that you dated, that I like dating, and then it'd be like whoa, how is it that the first person I'm starting to date is the person that I'm already thinking? So I'm like, okay, let's protect me and let's protect her. Is this a rebound thing? You know, I don't want to. I don't want it to be a rebound thing, and then all of a sudden, once I get it out my system, I'm good, you know, and so that that was that was what made me kind of push back a little bit, not go as hard in the pain as I did, you know, when we initially started off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I could feel that when you came back, and so that's when somebody came by and said are you dating Kepa?
Speaker 2:and I was like. I was like, yeah, we're dating.
Speaker 1:I was like we're not serious, but we are dating and they go. Oh cause? I asked him and he was like you know nothing, really no big deal, nothing like that. Y'all weren't dating, wasn't nothing?
Speaker 1:really no big deal and so they came back and told me that I was like oh okay, so let me just keep doing my dating thing. Yeah, um, and so for me, um, because of my previous relationships and things I don't put up, I had gotten to where I don't put up with mess and so I'm just going to keep doing me and I'm going. If it is what it is, that was just from my own scars and so when he said that, I was like oh okay, well then, it is what it is and so when he came to talk to me, I probably was very short.
Speaker 2:I was like what's going on?
Speaker 1:what also didn't help is during that getting ready to go back to school, that person came to say that then, all of a sudden, I'm I was an sfa trainer, so this teacher that was in my training, she was at the school and I was like, hey, I said what are you doing here? And she was like, oh, I came by here to see keifa. And I said, oh really, and she was like, yeah, I just came, you know. So I was like, oh, okay, and so I didn't say nothing and I did not invite this lady I didn't say nothing to her at all, and I was her shot.
Speaker 1:That's what it was and I was like oh, okay, so maybe yeah, okay, let me go and just keep on doing me. And so at that point I had really much, was like pretty much. I was like yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll be done with that, because I'm not going to be playing the game. So it made me think that he was playing games, that's what I thought.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't know, and I would say I was probably a little green to a lot of things, you know. But once I kind of found out, I was like what? And then once I was allowed to speak my piece to and say, well, I don't like to tell certain people because some people, when you say, yeah, this was who I'm dating, this is who they feel like they're not going to say better than me, but it's like, oh, if he can get, I know I can get her. So then they turn it up a notch and try to take a person from me. And I understand people may say, yeah, well, if they're gonna go, they're gonna go, but it's just the you know for me not to even deal with, like, yeah, nah, nah, nah, I'm good, but what you talking about you know. But I, you know, you learn that some people are certain ways and other people aren't. And, with that being said, it put a uh, some distance in between us.
Speaker 1:Yes, it did, and so I said let me move a little bit slower and let me just kind of keep dating and just figuring out where his head is. So that was probably like August.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So we had dated, started in May, went to summer, came back in August and things moved a little bit slower, and then I think it was November I had to fly to Houston to speak at a trade school and on behalf of being on TV and stuff about living your dreams and stuff like that. So I was in the airport and I called her.
Speaker 1:I think it was Thanksgiving because I was at home. I think I was in Kansas.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just know I was in the airport.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, you had come to Thanksgiving. I'm sorry that wasn't it.
Speaker 2:You went to thanksgiving at my house. Yeah, okay, yeah, so it was prior to things, because thanksgiving was the moment I said those magical words okay, so it was. It was uh, whenever it was, I was in the airport and um, and she was like I said yo, so what's going on, man? I said I don't feel like we're moving in the same way. I don't feel like you serious about whatever. And I explained, I said well, I'm, you know, I said I'm, I'm a little afraid because the first person I get serious with dating and it becomes the person that I'm really, you know, feeling for and feel like I don't want it.
Speaker 2:And I said what I said earlier about I didn't want it to be a rebound thing. And I was like yo, how can the first person I'm with you know make me feel like this? And so she was, you know. I could hear her on the phone like okay, yeah, whatever the ball is in your court, whatever you want to be with me or you don't, and I said I do. And she got quiet. So I could tell she had a little soft spot in her heart because when I said that, I said I do want to be with you. She could pause for a minute. And then she said well, you're going to have to show it. I said, well, you're going to have to be open to allowing me to show it and you know I'll be back soon. Okay, and then, when I got back, from that point on we ain't been apart since no, yeah, so you know it was like slowly getting back, like it was like it wasn't, like all the time, cautious
Speaker 2:yeah, she was still very cautious, so so it was, but I mean even still so, whatever she was doing on her end, I know on my end, yeah, I was moving forward, um, because when we went to kansas, um, I remember we were in the room and I said you don't have to say anything, I'm not even expecting the answer from you, but I'm letting you know how I feel and I'm in love with you. I love you and you know I'm not expecting that Nothing in return. You can be quiet for all. I'll just let you know how I feel and she, in return, you can be quiet for all. I'll just let you know how I feel.
Speaker 2:And she was quiet, she didn't say nothing, and I didn't expect her to say nothing, but I told myself that I was going to put my feelings out there, regardless of who it was. I said, from here on out, if there's somebody I'm feeling, I'm going to put my feelings out there. They can accept them or they can reject them, because I know I'm a good man, I'm a good person and you know I want to one day get married and grow old with my person. You know, have some amazing kids, and that's it. I dreamed about that? I really did, because I come from a very cool married family. My mom and dad have been childhood sweethearts and so it was a dream of mine. So she didn't say nothing and you know I was good with it. I was not like before I would have been turned off. I'd be like, damn, I'm smiling. I didn't say nothing but it didn't bother me and so we continued on and you know we got stronger.
Speaker 1:Because Christmas I went to your house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I went to my house. We got stronger, you know, day by day. You know what I'm saying On my side, I'm telling you on my side. I can't speak for her. We got stronger day by day to me because you know we started spending more consistent time together. You know, I wasn't holding back feelings. I wasn't holding back feelings. I wasn't holding back things, you know, and just being who I am generally, he was still giving little tests.
Speaker 1:Like one day he said all I got we're supposed to go out to eat and he said all he had was $5.
Speaker 2:Well, we weren't even going to go nowhere. You said I want to do something. And I said I want to do something. And I said I would like to do something but I can't. He was like why not? I said because I'm broke right now. She was broke. He said yeah. I said I paid all my bills, you know. I said I paid everything. I said I always try to pay all my bills the first of the month and then I buy my groceries for the month and I have gas money, you know, stashed away. And she said well, I want to go somewhere. I said I know, I banked, I got money, let's go. I said oh, I said we're gonna go to movies and go to eat. I said what?
Speaker 2:okay, let's go and I had money. But I was just trying to see what she was gonna say, because if she would have said I don't have nothing, or what we're gonna do, I can't well well, do you remember?
Speaker 1:saying you only had like ten dollars or five dollars, I forget whatever amount you was. Like we can go to um jack-in-the-box and we went to jack-in-the-box and I think we got two yeah, two sandwiches and two fries.
Speaker 2:That was for real, that was for real.
Speaker 1:I went to jack in the box and I ate my chicken sandwich and fries. That was for real and I was fine with it that was real.
Speaker 2:I mean, we used to go to matinees because it was cheaper but also because I fall yeah she falls asleep.
Speaker 2:And that was because I was like I am not wasting money on this girl every time we go to dinner and in a movie she falls asleep. So we started going to matinees and then eat afterwards. So I mean, remember I used to go, uh, we used to get those little queso coupons and we would just go over there get queso to was on the border or whatever. Yes, we used to go over there and just eat queso and chips and then you know that was it. That was a good little snack for us. You know so little stuff like that. Yeah, I was putting her through tests trying to see if she was a real one.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, and so this is December. December, we went to Foley. Yeah, that's where your mom and dad would come back from Hawaii.
Speaker 2:From Hawaii. Yeah, First time you met my brother and my sister.
Speaker 1:I will say the first time I talked to your daddy on the phone. He said um well, you don't sound like a lucretia and I said what the hell lucretia supposed to sound like? And I said, oh, okay, but that is what he said yeah, yeah, yeah, he did, he did say that I was like okay I don't know, I don't know what he expected lucretia to sound like yeah, I don't know what they expected anyway.
Speaker 2:No, I always surprise my family when it comes to just anything yeah, so I, I mean I enjoyed them.
Speaker 1:It was a good trip for for um Christmas, meeting them and going out to eat I and, oh lord, Mr Van, and I feel like somebody else was there, but I can't remember who. I feel like it might have been one other couple, but it was. We went to go have hibachi in. Pensacola. I remember that that was a nice trip. That was a nice trip.
Speaker 2:That was a nice trip. Definitely the pressure cooker blew up.
Speaker 1:Yes, so when my mother-in-law? Well then, not my mother-in-law.
Speaker 2:Mother-in-law now, but when?
Speaker 1:she got back from Hawaii, she's like, ooh, ooh, I mean she would miss the collard greens. And so she was like, oh, I did not have any collard greens when I was in Hawaii. And I think they were in Hawaii for was it two years.
Speaker 2:No, not two years, they was like almost like several months.
Speaker 1:Several months, yeah, several months Okay so they were in Hawaii for a while. She hadn't had any collard greens, and so we got there. The first day was collard greens. Second day collard greens. Third day, I told Key I said listen, I can't eat no more collard greens. I said I do not want to hurt your mama's feelings, but I can't eat. He's like well, don't eat them then. And so on Christmas dinner, of course, she cooked collard greens and she put them in a pressure cooker and me no, this wasn't that one, this was a different time.
Speaker 2:I think in the pressure cooker and me. No, this wasn't that one.
Speaker 1:This was a different time I think we know that was the first, the first time y'all, you met my parents because juanita, and yes um because juanita lived in mobile ronald ronald ronald um they all were there, yes, okay.
Speaker 1:So my she was cooking those greens and then all of a sudden it just exploded Greens. So I'm by the greens, so I duck. Juanita and Rondalyn took off running and greens was all in my braids, all in my hair. Greens were just everywhere and my father-in-law was like you're trying to run out before we even get in here yeah so I remember those greens, but we had had so many greens I was like I can't eat another collard green yep so that went on and we were dating.
Speaker 1:Everybody was trying to figure it out. We did not really after that whole of people trying to say, and do we stopped talking about it? And kind of moving in secret.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that people didn't really know, but they had suspicions because they would be hiding behind corners.
Speaker 2:it felt like and just watching how we interact with each other and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:So we tried to keep it a secret at work so people did not know that we were actually dating, did not know that we were actually dating.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because once you realize the hater tactic, you was like, oh so this is what some people are about around here. So that's when we started keeping things on the low. Yeah, because he was starting to come on strong, real strong, after that, and saying even stuff that wasn't even true. So you know, but hey.
Speaker 1:Now, when I met her mom and dad first time, oh my god, we're not gonna tell that story.
Speaker 2:You can tell, no, we're gonna tell it. No, I'll let you tell it, but I I thought your mom was trying to run me off because she kept calling me no, my daddy no your dad was calling me keebler okay, your mom was calling you, oh, my ex's name. Yes, okay, yes and so I was like dang they trying to get me up out of here.
Speaker 1:I don't think so, because she didn't really but I didn't know.
Speaker 2:I just knew that wasn't my name. Okay, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I was like okay uh, huh alright and my daddy was just being funny because that's who he is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, now, they wouldn't get rid of me if they tried.
Speaker 1:No they would not get rid of you, if you tried. And so I guess we go through everything. We dated May. He went away from the summer, came back slow start November. He said I love you.
Speaker 1:I think I said it at Christmas, when we were together at Christmas. I can't remember. Think I said it at Christmas when we were together at Christmas. I can't remember when I said it. Yeah, but I did at some point. I said it to you. I don't think it was Christmas. Okay, any, who do I know I had to have said it. For what? For what happened in February? Yeah, in February. I don't think you would have done what you did in February had I not said it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably not Right.
Speaker 1:So I believe.
Speaker 2:I said it over.
Speaker 1:Christmas break At my crib, though I believe I did. I'm almost certain that I did. I think it was during the time that your mom and them weren't back and you had said to me he says listen, my mom and daddy here we weren't back and you had said to me he says listen, my mom and daddy here. We can't sleep in the same room, but we can sleep in the same room until they get here. Yeah, and so we slept in the same room until they got back from hawaii, because they don't play that.
Speaker 2:You, if you are not married, even if you're engaged, you can't sleep, you can't sleep in the same room.
Speaker 1:I you can't sleep in the same room. I don't care if you 55. Right, that's right, it's the same thing, it's the same rule for everybody, yeah. So I believe I said it then, that this is what my memory says to me. But so then we went on dating, dating. I think we finally said at some point it is what it is, people just got to know. I think that might have been. We came back from christmas break, um, and then in february, well, before then, what?
Speaker 2:um, in january I was, I was, I knew I was gonna leave soon. I was gonna go to la. Oh yeah, that was my goal.
Speaker 1:my goal was going to go to LA.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, my goal was going to LA and I was like man, I hope that this don't run her off, because this is what happened, you know, before. And so I was like yo, you know I want to move to LA, but you know I want to go. If I don't get a chance to move to LA, I want to go out there during the summer and audition. And you was like I think that'd be a good idea. You're a teacher, you can always get a job anywhere. And so I was like, oh, she kind of encouraging me to leave.
Speaker 2:Now hold on you trying to get rid of me. And then I was saying so, if I was to move to LA, get a job, move to LA, you know what I'm saying? What about? Would you move out there? I would love to move to LA. I've never been there. I was like, are you serious? And so we, you know, we went on, we kind of played on that a little bit and and I you know it would come up in conversations and stuff, and I was like now, okay, you serious? Like yeah, I would, yes, I would go with you to LA. I said, hmm, okay, this might be, this might be worth looking into. And so I just kept going strong, we kept going stronger.
Speaker 1:And then you want to say the other part, and I will say for me, I am always open to trying new things, because my thing is, if I don't like it, my parents, my mom and they've always said you can always come back home, and so you don't know if you don't go. And so even thinking about California, it's like I've never been to California. Let's go see what it is. You know what it is, or would I be open to it? And so I'm always up for trying something new, because I just always knew it's more out there.
Speaker 1:That's just kind of how it was, and my um, my um, parents, my parents didn't discourage me from doing all the things and so, anywho. So come February we were doing Valentine's and so we had decided for Valentine's Day. We made it a competition who could be the most romantic with $25?
Speaker 2:No, that was the first. Was that the first? Yeah, because Valentine's Day, that is.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, no, no, because I proposed the day before. I know it, you didn't let me finish, so that is what we had decided. So you had to be the most romantic between $25 for Valentine's Day, so I don't know. Oh, I was having a rough week at work with all this drama and mess and so he said he had said I paid for you a little spot.
Speaker 2:And there was some other stuff going on.
Speaker 1:You didn't want to reveal some stuff, okay yeah, I don't even remember what it is, because we were sitting down and I was helping you take your break. Oh, yes, and then oh, and also for me, I have alopecia and so I had braids and so I need to take them down. So I was trying to get my hair redone and so I had a lady who did my braids great, she'd cover like the alopecia and everything and um, taking my braids down.
Speaker 2:The person that you was going to get help but take them down was unavailable, and so that's why you yeah, yeah, because normally Karima yeah, and he was like Karima will help me, I believe.
Speaker 1:I got to get him down before yeah so I got to get him down for my appointment and she wasn't available to help me, and so he said I can help you. And I was like I don't want you to help me and it became this yeah, getting really upset about it and tears and I was like what's wrong?
Speaker 2:yeah and you start, and that's when you opened up to me saying what was wrong, and then I just, we just hugged for a long time and she just cried about it like saying so that week and it was like the tears of the week, the tears of you know, work, work, yeah, work, yeah, you know stressed about your hair and me seeing it and stuff like that, and so go ahead so that was the big thing.
Speaker 1:So in who he said well, I'm gonna do some session for you. I did scheduled you an appointment, and so I don't know where the appointment was that I don't think you told me what it was, and so I was like okay, and so it was um. I think it was origins maybe um origins and um. One of the malls in dallas had a spa, and so he had scheduled a body scrub and massage for me, and so um because I had had.
Speaker 2:I had the ring. I want to say January.
Speaker 1:Oh, ok, like at the beginning of January.
Speaker 2:And I had already spoke to her dad in January, Like oh, they didn't tell me that.
Speaker 1:They were very quiet.
Speaker 2:I got the ring. I want to say maybe two days later. So it's almost three, four weeks past before this happened.
Speaker 1:And so we did the. I was doing the spa treatment. It was super nice. Everybody was super nice at the spa. I didn't really recognize like they were turned up nice because you just expect people to be nice. And I'm always very nice when we go. We are just that way, so people.
Speaker 2:No, they were the same. They were the same.
Speaker 1:People are just so nice and so.
Speaker 2:They were amazing.
Speaker 1:We were there and so I remember after doing the scrub and I think they were getting ready to do the massage part with the lotion or oils or whatever.
Speaker 1:And so they said well, I just want to make you just a little kind of take more of the lighter way. I'm going to put on a blindfold. And I was like I ain't never heard nobody put on no blindfold when you do it. But I didn't, you know, I thought maybe that's how they do things here. And so I was like okay, I'll just let them do it, because everything was so great. And so they were doing all the massaging. And then when they got over to my left arm, and then when they got over to my left arm, I told them make sure she's laying down on her face, on her stomach, so that she can't see anything and I could I kind of could tell that the hands changed but you was in bliss, I was just enjoying the massage, and it was him and he did you put the ring on.
Speaker 1:I was just enjoying the massage, and it was him and he did you put the ring on.
Speaker 2:Yes, because what happened was when the plan was, when you start massaging her arms and go down to her hand. I will take over on that part and I'm going to slide the ring on.
Speaker 2:And so he was like oh my God, that's going to be amazing. And so I went and he got to the arm and then he got to the elbow and then I started from the elbow and went all the way down and he was asking you questions like, oh so, are you dating someone? And he and she said yes, I am. Says he's a nice guy, said, oh, yeah, he's a great guy. Say, oh so, are y'all getting serious? Yes, we're getting very serious. And he said, uh, so if he was to ask you to marry him, what would you say? And you said, oh, I don't know, I don't know, I probably would say yes. And so when she said that, I put the ring on her finger and I said OK, so will you? And she stopped. I said because she realized, oh, that voice is different.
Speaker 2:And I said will you I think I raised the thing you blindfolded up and the your blindfold up and lifted your head up and then I still had my hand on the ring and I was kneeling and you said, looked at and said, shut up shut up shut up. That's all she kept saying and I was like I said, well, will you? And you said, yes, the little dude that was massaging, he, just he was in tears, he was in tears.
Speaker 1:And I'm not like a crier, like that. I think I cry more now, but then I was not more. I get more excited than anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then. So you know she was. I continue with your massage and we'll talk later when you get outside and I was like continue. Yeah, and so the guy, he continued, and so I went out there and it was like so and I said y'all heard it right? They was, oh my God, they was going crazy at the front.
Speaker 2:Like nothing, like this has ever happened to us. This is amazing, you know, and so, and, and you know, he finished the massage and then she came out, and then we had to, then we had to go to uh I had praise dance.
Speaker 1:I have praise dance practice and I went and told my friend, one of my best friends, coley she was there. She's like why are you here? Then I was like well, we gotta dance on sunday. Yeah, so I went to the praise dance practice or whatever, and yeah, and also when I went to praise dance practice and talked about it, I didn't know there were people there who would be a little bothered by the news too. I could see faces kind of being a bit disappointed.
Speaker 1:So I was like well, yeah, so then that is what it was. And so, to make things a little bit more complicated, oh Lord, we talked about we were going to move on to California. We were not getting married before we went.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:We were going to go on, take our time to plan a wedding and everything, and our secretary at the school was like God is not going to be pleased with y'all. Y'all's relationship will not be blessed if y'all go and move and live together and you are not married. And I was like what? Because it was like if it's something we're going to do, like it would have to happen so quickly. And so for me, I've always had a relationship with God. I feel like God has always placed people in my life to make sure, because my parents didn't go to church and so. But I always had somebody who made sure I went to church throughout my entire life my friends, neighbors, all the things. So I've always had a relationship with God and all the things. And so I was like, oh Lord. So then that really got me to thinking like Lord, we ain't going to be blessed.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And it really made us I think both feel that way when she said it. How did it make you feel when she said it?
Speaker 2:I think, both feel that way when she said it. How did it make you feel when she said it? I mean, it didn't make me feel no, never mind, because I was like we already shacking up now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we were kind of yeah.
Speaker 2:And I said I believe you know we're going to get married. Yeah, you know I don't believe in no long engagement. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. A year tops is what I was thinking. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying. A year tops is what I was thinking. Yeah, you know, but God had other plans to have us get engaged.
Speaker 1:So we pushed it up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because well, it was February, so March, april, may, june.
Speaker 1:July, August.
Speaker 2:So six months later.
Speaker 1:Six months later we got married. So I don't know. Just things happen the way they're supposed to happen. But we dated in May, took a break, started dating seriously.
Speaker 2:November.
Speaker 1:November, proposed in February and married in August, and we started trying to have kids in November.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did. He came home from teaching reproduction in his health class and he says I think we should try to have a baby. I go, are you sure? He's like I think we should. And I said, okay, like if you're sure, and I don't know if I was quite sure, but I felt like I don't know. Maybe I felt like as a wife, like if he's wanting to do this, then let's do it. And so he had researched the most for my most fertile day, and so on that day we tried um, I think even a specific position.
Speaker 1:I think we even tried to guarantee that it was locked in and researcher yes, he researched all of it, and so then, maybe a couple of days later, it was the next day he talked to his brother and his brother was. He was yeah, I think we're gonna go in, start trying to have kids. And his brother was like I think y'all need to wait, like y'all just got married in august, it's. It's only been two or three months, you moved to la you're trying to do your acting.
Speaker 1:I I just really feel like y'all should wait a little bit, because that may you know impact, you know all what you're trying to do.
Speaker 2:So I think then he thought about it yeah, in my head I said well, if nothing happened?
Speaker 1:last night something did yeah so one try was it. That was it that brought on the two little twin hair boys was the one try god was like they need to be here now.
Speaker 2:Yes, I got plans for them yep and so um so we'll put a pin in that, yes, and let's go back to so. After we're, we get engaged and you know the normal, all the bridal books, and we start buying those, you know, because that's the lovely thing, because I was buying.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, because I was excited so I would buy bridal books and stuff like, oh, I found this book, you know, I don't know. You know ideas about the way that I'm just as excited as the wedding, as she is, I think, or I'm probably more excited because I'm like, yes, it's the. You know, people say it's the woman's day. Dude, she's not there by herself. So I'm like I'm gonna be, just as you know, excited and active in this thing as anybody. You know what I mean. So we paid for all ourself. Um, how much did it cost?
Speaker 1:well, um, yeah, we paid for our all ourselves, we. It was five thousand dollars say that one more time five thousand dollars we spent for our wedding. My mama and my mama they bought my dress. I don't know if they bought my shoes, but I I know they bought my dress. Yeah, and then my and actually we were someone gifted us the money for our rehearsal dinner.
Speaker 1:Who was that Miss? Was it, miss Missy? Remember Missy from church. That was a good friend. She was more of Colette's friend. She gifted us the money for our rehearsal dinner.
Speaker 2:She did.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you, misty, misty I'm sorry, oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, oh, they had a little change, though I don't know what they had. I thought they did yeah, because when she married, yeah, but I don't know. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, she did.
Speaker 1:She blessed us with that and I appreciate and um but five thousand dollars, five thousand dollars and I was getting frustrated because I could not figure out how we were going to do this yeah we also at the start trying to figure out where to have the wedding and we originally said thought, foley, then it was such a big travel for my family, yeah, um, so the central location. We ended up at Dallas.
Speaker 1:That ended up being a big deal, but then we figured it out and um, we ended up having it in Dallas and this guy figured it all out. Say what you did well, because every time I was frustrated.
Speaker 2:I was like she had a, she had a venue and then the venue went Gone or it's too expensive Too expensive one.
Speaker 2:The other one, the dates weren't right and then they went, they took dates back or whatever, and she was on campus not on campus, but at the school crying. I was like, well, okay, just let me handle it, let me handle it. And so I said, what are you looking for? I just want a place that's big enough to this and that. So I started calling places. You know, I started just um, I think I don't even know how I started researching it. We did have a little bit of the internet.
Speaker 2:So I think yeah, and so I went in and I and I saw these places and I said, you know, and I saw the uh, african-american art museum and I saw that's oh cultural. You know we're both educators. I said we love good stuff like this. I said let me call them. And I called the people and they said you're in luck, this date is available.
Speaker 1:And so I was telling them, and it was a Saturday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a Saturday. And they said, man, we're not even going to charge you X, Y and Z for what you got, and it was less than whatever it was we was trying to get. That was just for the reception yeah, they said we had to use their caterer but we did one of their caterers yeah, well, yeah, but we wound up using ours for because, yeah, that's the lady we went to no, they gave us her name oh, that was who it was okay.
Speaker 1:Well, that and that worked for us, because that food was good it was good and and she, I don't know, that was a blessing too, and she gave us a deal because everything like the cake would have been. Yeah, she did the cake, Two cakes. She did two cakes. She did the groom's cake, the bride's cake. We said we wanted soul food. We had roast and baked chicken, collard, greens, macaroni and cheese. She made a whole fruit and cheese display kool-aid for me man and we had real plates yes she brought her real plates and everything.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, it was and then um and so the wedding venue. She couldn't find a wedding venue and then I said I got, and so I called the Rose Garden in Dallas.
Speaker 1:It's not the Rose Garden Arboretum? I think no, it's the Botanical Garden.
Speaker 2:Botanical Garden, sorry, botanical Garden. So the Botanical Garden, dallas Botanical Garden, saturday no dates, never available. And this was August and they had the date available and it was the Rose Garden, the Rose available, and it was the Rose Garden, the Rose Garden, and it was like $500.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we ended up getting gypped on something because we started late. Yeah, but it was because of the rain and they said that's not our fault. Yeah, so we went over, so we had to pay. We had to pay.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe, okay, it was, maybe it was a grand and we had to pay five. Yeah, yeah, and so, uh, but whatever it was, mind y'all, we, we're outside in the freaking rose garden, you know, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful facility, and it started raining like right before the wedding and then, right when creed's limo pulled up, boom like was it. Did it stop right then, or it? Did you have to sit for a little?
Speaker 1:bit. First of all, I did not have a limo.
Speaker 2:You didn't have a limo.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Oh, it was a black car, my bad.
Speaker 1:Well, me and my brothers was in there. Karima pulled me up in her CRV or whatever car she had then my bad, that's a limo.
Speaker 2:My whole crew, we laughed the whole time during the wedding. So I just know they said she's here. So I don't know what you had, I just know they said she's here, so we're getting ready. Because we was in the waiting room and I said, all right, cool, and so all of that $5,000. Now, mind you, of course, with the reception we didn't serve alcohol, so that's probably a big expense because at the time I didn't drink and I wanted people to enjoy themselves without the alcohol. And they did. I think they did, and if they didn't pay, that's on you.
Speaker 1:And one of our parents volunteered to be the DJ from one of our parents Not our parents.
Speaker 2:I should say that was what's name from church.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's who DJ.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, and you know what he does now, victor, no, not.
Speaker 2:Victor. Victor was the usher.
Speaker 1:Okay, you know what he does now.
Speaker 2:It was Carlton.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Carlton has a business and they make customized suits for athletes. Oh, like for teams. Okay For athletes. Oh, like for teams. Okay, because he played basketball at University of Texas, okay, so they make suits for, like college team and pro professional people.
Speaker 1:Oh well, he DJ'd for us. Yeah, he DJ'd for us and he did great.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And then one of our parents from our school did the photography, got the guy to do the photography, yeah, but with that we didn't have a script, so we missed out on photos.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we missed out on some photos, but it was okay.
Speaker 2:I mean, everything was reasonable. But see, this is what's so cool about all that stuff. It's like we don't have no photo of you and I by ourselves in our wedding thing, but the marriage is solid. But you got people that have everything look like a picture, perfect. It don't do nothing, it don't go anywhere, unfortunately not bragging about it, but I'm just saying you know so, a lot of times we put our um, our energy in the wrong spot. Yeah, we put our energy in one day and expect that one day to be magical for the rest of our lives when that's when the hard work comes in, that's when the hard work starts. After that magical day to be magical for the rest of our lives, when that's when the hard work comes in.
Speaker 1:That's when the hard work starts.
Speaker 2:after that magical day, yeah, yeah, yeah, like we said on a few seasons before, when we was talking about that I mean a few episodes before, when we was talking about that girl and that man, when the man said something about her gaining the weight, yeah, and we was saying how I think TD and we were saying how I think TD Jakesworth said you know, you walk up to the altar with your boyfriend that's who you propose to but you leave away there with a husband and a wife that you don't even know, because you don't know them in that role. Right, you only know them in the other role. And so that's you're right. And so that's what they write, that that hard work kicks in when you, when you jump that broom, you know that's when that hard work kicks in. And but for me it is hard work because but it's not hard.
Speaker 2:You understand what I'm saying Because you got like being a good person and doing my job is not hard because it's something I'm supposed to do. So I don't, I don't think about like, like going to the gym is harder to me because some days I really don't feel like, and what do I do? I don't go, but I try to show up every day as a good person to you. You see what I'm saying. So, that's what I'm saying. So it's like it's not hard to me to do that, but it's like going to the gym is harder. Yeah, you know so, and I I see why some people don't because they don't have it in them yeah, yeah they don't have it they don't really.
Speaker 1:They didn't, they didn't really know what, what marriage is, or or the work, or they. It's just kind of like a um fairy tale like they get caught up in the fairy tale, and every day.
Speaker 2:It's not a fairy tale, because life is real yeah, and both people gotta want it to me just as much.
Speaker 2:Yes both because you can want to be married, but that other person, they can care less and it's not gonna work. Yeah, but you both have to want it just as much and you know I was blessed to have someone that wants it just as bad as I do. You know so. So that makes it even easier to do those things. You know, it's just because when you're struggling and you see somebody next to you struggling too but they know that it's going to be all right it makes you push even harder. You know I'm saying um, but so that's how we met and we met and got together together and
Speaker 1:we still together and we still together, and so, anywho, that's, that's, that's it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's our little, that's our little. Uh, the dating es. Yes, our dating escapade.
Speaker 1:I know the story sounds simple and fun and lovely and all that. We've come 22 years later and we've had all the things in 22 years of like kids and finances and moving and doing all the things that you know. It all is lovely but, like we said before, it's like you got to have two people that want to do the work, to go through all the ups and downs and all the things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can honestly say I loved every minute of it, though.
Speaker 1:Even the tough times.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because if I didn't love it enough, I don't think I would have made it through. You understand, I honestly do like I know things are going to be tough, but and that's what I'm saying like it was easy to go through tough times with you because you were worth the tough times. Aww, you know what I'm saying. So it's like, and that's what, when people see us, they be like how'd y'all get you know? How'd y'all do it? What did y'all? You know what's y'all story? Because it comes off like, you know, there's so much glow and joy in us that when people, people are paying attention to us, when we're not paying attention, so we can't turn it on, it's always on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think a lot of I can't say my joy, and everything was always turned on, but I feel like you enhanced and helped me to grow, where now my joy exudes and shines through. I don't feel like it always did, but I feel like it does now, but I think that's just because of you, thank you, helping me to grow into the person I mean. I think that's why we were put together. Yeah, I do too. For me to reach whatever potential or whatever that I was supposed to reach. It's for me to reach whatever potential or whatever that I was supposed to reach.
Speaker 2:So and I know you encouraged my, my being like. You encouraged me to smile, you encouraged me to be the silly person. Do that, do that dance again. Do that Say, say what such and such said again you, you encouraged that there was a point where he would not do it. Yeah, Because it just I don't know what, what that light?
Speaker 1:was, though I know your light was a little dim.
Speaker 2:I think that was probably the world, too many knows Maybe. Yeah, I think that was Georgia, remember, I hated Georgia for a minute.
Speaker 1:You did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not saying I love Georgia now, but I love cause it's still difficult. But you know, I love, uh, I love life, and so I don't care where I am. If I got my boys, my wife, I could be anywhere. I think I'm straight.
Speaker 1:I mean we have.
Speaker 2:I mean it took a minute to get there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I will say we have grown and I think now that I won't say just now, it's been a while that the joy and all that exudes through us, but I think it's because just us with one another, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Anywho.
Speaker 1:So that's the story, guys.
Speaker 2:That's the story. So I hope you learned something from that and, if you did, let us know. You know, when we post the clips, the soundbites or whatever, go to our Instagram page, facebook, wherever you know you can, and, you know, let us know how you like it. Like I said, please comment, like and subscribe to our podcast so that you can get the weekly updates when we drop a new episode. But please let us know how you like this episode. If you got questions, you know you want us to answer on the next episode, you can either DM through the uh, the refreshingly normal. It's refreshingly underscore normal uh on.
Speaker 2:Instagram, um, or you know, um, once you click on the podcast, if you do it, uh, not in your car, you can't do it. But if you do it on your phone, it's a part that says, uh, email us or text us. You can click on that and you can ask us a question or comment about it. But hey, you know that's what we do. Man and Cree is a L, is it LAPC?
Speaker 1:LAPC Licensed Associate Professional Counselor.
Speaker 2:But what does that certificate say? What kind?
Speaker 1:Marriage and family.
Speaker 2:Come on now.
Speaker 1:Or family and marriage. Come on now. Or family and marriage.
Speaker 2:Come on now. Marriage and family, mf, mf, something I don't know Marriage and family. Yeah, yes, MFT, marriage and family therapist, Come on now so you know we we're not just talking over here. She got the, she got the, I do yes.
Speaker 1:Got a fancy certificate.
Speaker 2:That's right. That's right. So, but thank y'all, man, we really appreciate it and we hope you come back. Yes, thank you, love y'all, bye-bye, love you, bye, bye, bye, bye, Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
Speaker 1:Bye, thank you.