The Refreshingly Normal Podcast with Kēfla and Cree
The Refreshingly Normal Podcast
Welcome to The Refreshingly Normal Podcast, where real life meets real laughs. We are Kēfla and Lucrecia (Cree), a married couple of 22 years, long-time educators, and now stepping into the world of mental health counseling. Think of us as your favorite Unc and Auntie of the podcast world, keeping it honest, heartfelt, and hilariously human.
We’re also proud parents of twin young men who just turned 21 and are officially stepping into adulthood, which means paying their own bills (finally!). From raising kids to letting go, we’re navigating this new chapter with the same mix of love, humor, and a little side-eye.
Each week, we dive into the ups and downs of parenting, love, marriage, dating, and everything in between, served with a side of humor and practical wisdom. Whether we’re sharing lessons from the classroom, stories from our travels, or awkward moments at the gym or dinner table, one thing’s for sure, we keep it refreshingly normal.
So grab a cup of coffee (or a protein shake) and join the conversation. It’s therapy meets kitchen table talk… and you’re invited.
The Refreshingly Normal Podcast with Kēfla and Cree
Parenting Without a Manual: Lessons from the Trenches
Parenting doesn't come with a manual, but sometimes the most valuable lessons emerge through experience. In this heartfelt conversation, we dive deep into what might be our greatest parenting revelation: learning to step back and allow our children to forge their own paths while providing a safety net rather than a roadmap.
We explore the concept of "empathy with expectations" – acknowledging the challenges our children face while maintaining clear boundaries and family values. Drawing from personal experiences with our sons navigating early adulthood decisions, we discuss the delicate balance between supporting independence and avoiding enablement.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn as we examine adolescent brain development, particularly the "pruning" process that occurs during middle school years. This biological restructuring explains the forgetfulness and emotional volatility characteristic of this age group – information that helps parents approach these challenging years with greater understanding and patience. We also touch on how trauma during developmental stages can impact the prefrontal cortex, affecting decision-making and emotional regulation well into adulthood.
Between discussions of family compounds (with or without goats!), weekend plans, and hilarious "side eye of the week" moments, we reflect on how parenting approaches have evolved across generations. Today's world provides different challenges and conveniences for our children, requiring thoughtful adaptation of parenting strategies.
Whether you're navigating the tumultuous teenage years, preparing for empty nesting, or simply interested in developmental psychology, this episode offers both practical wisdom and reassuring normalcy. Join us for a refreshingly honest look at parenthood's most challenging balancing act.
Send us your Questions or Comments and we’ll answer them on the show.
Don't forget to Like, Comment, Share, and Subscribe.
Thank you for listening!
the refreshingly normal podcast.
Speaker 1:Good job, buddy.
Speaker 2:I know right. Welcome back everyone. Thank you for tuning in to the Refreshingly Normal podcast.
Speaker 1:I am one of the hosts, keifla, and the greatest host of them all is Is me Kree, and I'll just have y'all know we just did a whole podcast and he didn't press record. So here we go. Was it a whole one, though half it was, a half though it was, we had gone a little bit we went a little bit we had gone a little bit, so now we got it on the phone though but now so we are starting over blue anywho, yes, so let's talk about uh.
Speaker 2:First of all, how is your week going, because this is thursday, I mean two wednesday. See, we both are ready. We got what uh?
Speaker 1:a three-day weekend coming to labor day, weekend and we're ready we're just.
Speaker 2:I just need an extra break I do need an extra break.
Speaker 1:I mean, everything is just the norm work running. Um, that is like what it is this weekend. This weekend was a pretty relaxing weekend, so, um, really like chilled this weekend. I don't think I dressed, had lounge clothes on the whole weekend but still did things like in the house and all that, but we haven't done anything like two. Anything too exciting happened in this past week, just the normal.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know about your job, but yeah, yeah. Mine. We just started testing and it's tough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because.
Speaker 2:I had to read the test.
Speaker 1:Oh to the kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, read the test read all the responses and then some of them you got to read again.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then making sure I got all their accommodations, making sure I got all that stuff. I was like, ah, I didn't have to do this in the gym.
Speaker 1:Well, I guess one exciting part is I always like to work with the students. I mean, I train adults but it's always nice to get to work with the students, and so this week got to work with some high school students. So I like interacting with them because I learn new slang.
Speaker 2:Like what you got Six.
Speaker 1:What does six seven mean? Six seven? I don't know about that one I don't know what it means either, and I feel like it means something else I meant to look it up, but I didn't look it up and I kept telling them I was like I meant to look it up I meant oh, I said meant.
Speaker 1:I thought I said meant I meant to look it up, I know, and they were saying something about 6'7" and I was like what is 6'7"? I don't know what that means, but I had a good time interacting with high school students this week. I think that was maybe the only thing I learned. They said something about a basketball player that's 6'7". I think they were just playing. I think they said something about a basketball player.
Speaker 2:I think they were just playing. I think they just weren't telling me the truth, because I am. It said in slang. Six, seven means to leave quickly, get lost or reject someone abruptly. Ok, that's one thing that could be.
Speaker 1:I mean they were. They were creating posters about things that helped them when they're having a challenging day and they was like six, seven. So they're trying to tell you, get out of here later they were not telling that it was on, that was on their, or what?
Speaker 2:a new slain turned six, seven or simply except has taken over tiktok, sparking memes, edits and inside jokes among generation alpha and younger members of Gen Z.
Speaker 1:So what does that mean?
Speaker 2:The phrase traces back to the drill rap song Doot Doot by Skrilla, where the reoccurring lyric 6-7 is used. I don't know what that is. Some listeners believe it may be a nod to the 67th Street in Chicago. I doubt that, Reflecting Skrilla's background, but the viral wave came after fans connected the lyric to NBA player LaMelo Ball.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's what they said. Lamelo Ball yeah, he's 6'7, I guess, child, why you? But what does it mean?
Speaker 2:Alright. So TikTok users begin editing clips of Ball, who stands 6'7 inches, alongside commentary that he sometimes plays like a six foot one inch guard. When the song beats drop the six seven is heard, the edits highlights balls flashy, unconventional style on court. The meme soon develop its own format, with users adopting a specific hand gesture, moving palms up and down the rhythm while saying number six, seven in voice.
Speaker 1:It means nothing, does it?
Speaker 2:Well, for us, my age group, that means jiggling them titties.
Speaker 1:So when they would do it, I'd say it's got to mean something else. So it's just one of them little tickety-tock things. So anywho, but anywho, I enjoyed that this week working with them and just working with them on building coping strategies and helping them to understand you know what to do when life gets challenging, like how to tap into those things that help them to get through that challenging moment, and just connecting with them in that way. So that was good. I got to connect with some high schoolers to do that this weekend.
Speaker 1:I just feel like that's important, because so many people lack healthy coping skills and so to be able to help them with. That is something that hopefully will last them the test of time, right yeah?
Speaker 2:I was going to say these seniors are the COVID sixth graders. I think somebody said I don't know, that's what I think I read yeah and so of course, that is a tough developmental moment. You know, in middle school, right where someone was shut down middle school, because middle school teaches you tough skin. You know what I mean, did you?
Speaker 1:know that for middle schoolers the reason there's like you know how they say, middle schoolers forget everything. Middle schoolers are that during that time their brain is pruning itself to prepare for adolescence. So when they're like forgetting things or they're very emotional, it's because their brain is doing some major work to prepare them for that next stage.
Speaker 2:It's doing what we call well, not what we call what we related to, you know, since I am a doctor, psychologist, you know, and since I am an expert at teaching middle school kids for several years.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Some of the I ain't going to say the worst, but it was some of the most Challenging Individuals. Yes, it's like working out your muscle In order for the muscle to get bigger, you have to rip those fibers up out your muscle. In order for the muscle to get bigger, you have to rip those fibers up in the process of, uh, putting your mind through the rigors of hormonal changes. So that's why it's like, all of a sudden, they're so aggressive, because their mind is is working out now. Yeah, it's trying to do all the small things that they're gonna. It's all the major things in a small amount of time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. So it's like it's really working out. So when they start getting those emotional moments, those are the little tears they like to say. That's what muscle soreness is. And then, all of a sudden, as they get older, it heals to make them stronger.
Speaker 1:And then you put on top of that some of them like where you were working, putting trauma along with that pruning process.
Speaker 2:Just like working out. If you eat junk food, what you building.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so they. I mean it really is. It really, it really is.
Speaker 2:It's a very key point in most developmental stages.
Speaker 1:So you add all the trauma of their life and all the things with that process. Yeah, it could.
Speaker 2:It's like a maker, or make a break right, I'm seeing, and now we're talking about this, so I would. I don't want to do a study on it, but who knows Some of the paperwork I've recently been reading, you know, a lot of kids were not diagnosed with autism at a younger age. Of course, you know, because sometimes testing and all that stuff, but what I have noticed is that a lot of them have been diagnosed with autism around middle school and so when they're going through those changes, if there's already, like we said, in their trauma in there, you know some of them need that it's too loud, you know. You know the walls is too loud, the lights are too bright, but they'll say visual, I mean they'll put the site with the auditor. Yeah, so it's too loud in here, you know, and a lot of the I need to be alone push themselves from the crowd and literally just gazing out in nowhere, and so they say that a lot of that probably could have came from that COVID trauma.
Speaker 1:Yeah, probably could have came from that COVID trauma, yeah.
Speaker 2:And. But what I'm saying is that. So I'm seeing kids who would have developed that trauma, probably right around fifth, sixth. When I look at their stuff they were diagnosed like right in that little end of COVID, with how traumatic it was. So, I want, I wonder if somebody would do a study on that, trying to see you know autism development? Did know autism development? Did it spike?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or not develop. What I'm looking for when you classify classification of autism. Did it spike, right yeah?
Speaker 1:And even with that like that, your whole prefrontal cortex, the development, development of it is delayed. The development of it is delayed if there is trauma. It's delayed if you have some sort of disability, and so all of that impacts your thinking brain. So you have all these emotions and things that are already developed, your response to that, like the amygdala, and all that, but then your thinking brain isn't formed correctly. So then that's why you see the dysregulation, because their prefrontal cortex is just not formed at where it should be formed to be able to regulate how much of a delay the prefrontal cortex is um prone to if the person is um experiencing inherited trauma you know what I mean the stress that mom went through through birth yes and now the kid is not.
Speaker 2:He may not show any signs, but it's you know how it's still.
Speaker 1:They're still impacted, that's right. You know what I? They're still impacted, that's right.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying, because it starts in the womb Right, exactly. So I wonder what is the delay like in that too? With people, which is crazy, because you know that inherited trauma. It pops up out of nowhere and you can just be. I don't know why I'm feeling and it was like baby. You're releasing mom and her mom stuff that has been poured onto you and you're just a beneficiary of it. Yeah, let's get out of class.
Speaker 2:Let's get out of classroom, all right, because I do my discussion post tomorrow. Ok, so let's do something called refreshingly real talk. Refreshingly Real Talk is where we have a nice topic of the week, but it's always grounded in love, parenting, marriage or mental health, for example. What would you say is your greatest lesson you've learned from parenthood?
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You can repeat what we've said before I press record so.
Speaker 1:I think it's important as, and maybe even well, no, because I feel like there's a lot of guidance and parent support that is needed up to a certain age. Are you changing what you said? No, no, no, I feel like there's a lot of guidance and parent support that is needed up to a certain age, so you're changing what you said.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, I'm not changing it. I was getting ready to change it, but I'm not going to change it. But I think as your children get older maybe thinking of like 17, 18, they're trying to decide college, trying to decide what adulthood is going to look like for them that you allow them to lead their path, lead their own way.
Speaker 1:Just so, I think, for one, whatever happens with them leading their path, of course you're just not gonna leave them out all willy nilly, right Like I feel like you still create a barrier. I'm gonna say a barrier, but a support, a supportive barrier, right Like a net, a supportive net because that's your role as a parent, you know. And so, as they lead their own path, so it will, for one, maybe prevent resentment. And then also, I think it would prevent not the pushback, but from them feeling, I guess, kind of like what is the word I'm looking for? Not pushback from them, but from them feeling like I don't want y'all telling me what to do, so they become more stubborn, or it's.
Speaker 1:I'm saying, I mean, those are all words, you said it before, but yeah, so they, they just kind of become where they begin to move, in a way to just to kind of do the opposite of what you want your favorite phrase oppositional defiance yes.
Speaker 1:Oppositional defiance your favorite phrase, oppositional defiance, yes, oppositional defiance.
Speaker 1:So I think it's important to allow them to lead their own path, with you being there as a safety net. Now, to me, I think it's like your safety net also can come with expectations, or what you're willing to do and what you're willing not to do, because I'm definitely am not in favor of enabling people Like that's one of my pet peeves, I'm not enabling anyone and so your safety net is not to create an environment or space where you're enabling, but you're allowing them to make choices and do the things so that I mean they can do be their own individual person. I think we, as parents, you get so fearful because everybody, all you want from your children are for them to be successful, and so you get scared by the choices that they make and for you think of how your mistakes or the things that you did, and you're trying to prevent them from that. And if you interfere too much, you also lessen the amount of resilience in them, and then, too, they could also become resentful because they feel like you're trying to have me be you and they're their own person. Yeah, that's true. I feel like—.
Speaker 2:And that's tough.
Speaker 1:It is really tough because you can't help but do it, and I have to sometimes say, remind myself of that as they make their decision, I said, well, you should, or you Well, no, that's how I would do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so I just think allowing them to do it their way, because, no, it wouldn't be the way that I would do it.
Speaker 2:There's different circumstances too, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, but it may work for them.
Speaker 2:So I don't know, you know, like, when you think about parenting, you know we and we I saw this post recently people were saying I think we made it easier for our kids. And then you know that one that I said the other day was if I knew my kids when I was a kid, I would think they were rich.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You know, but I also think, I think the world makes it easier for them.
Speaker 2:Of course, of course. But their first experience of the world is who?
Speaker 1:It is us.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I think even for our boys, some of the things that we say you can do or you can't do, and for Kihari, like some of his friends were able to, they did, you know, we're like oh, we're not doing that, no, it's been a night Like what, no? So I just think, just the even school remember we had, was it round robin, reading or whatever, where your teacher just chose you popcorn reading.
Speaker 2:You had to read. Yeah, they told me.
Speaker 1:And now they're like no, we don't want to make anybody feel uncomfortable even presentations.
Speaker 2:Even I have to do. They don't have to stand up and do presentations in front of the class so it's you know.
Speaker 1:So things are just a little bit easy. I will say yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know. No, they're easier yeah.
Speaker 1:For them compared to when we were in school, it's just it was. It was different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's easier.
Speaker 1:You know, it was just different than it is for them now, and so, even thinking of that, as a parent, you have to adjust, because the way things were done for us it's just not that same way for them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so any who? I think that's important and that's what I learned, cause I don't think we necessarily did that, as the boys were making their decisions for school and where they wanted to go and what they wanted to do and all the things, and we one of them ended up doing what he wanted to do regardless, and we really had to pack our patience and let him figure it out, and so that was challenging, but I didn't connect. We're always on the same page when it comes to parenting. There are times where I might be like what you said and he's like calm down when it comes to the boys, and then, vice versa, he may be like what you said and he's like calm down, like when it comes to the voice, and then, vice versa, he may be like what? And I'll be like calm down, but it don't mean we're not on the same page.
Speaker 2:No, we are on the same.
Speaker 1:I mean we are, but we is like we, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no no, no. We're always on the no, but we I understand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's always a great balance of when I'm hyped.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a good cop, bad cop. It's always a good cop, bad cop. So we do that we do that well together.
Speaker 1:I don't think we've ever been bad cop, bad cop. No, we've never been back out.
Speaker 2:We always balance each other out in that way. Even when that time, when he spent all that money and I just had my vasectomy, he spent all that money on. Spiderman on the iPad. How much was it like three, four hundred dollars yeah, and I was still recovering because, granted them had came no, that wasn't it that wasn't it was, kimani had gotten his oh, his ad got his ad. No, no, no, no, no, no so yeah, so yeah, um.
Speaker 1:So I think that that is important it's the same apartment, that's right so allow you, allow them to have their path like you said, but you still gotta have.
Speaker 2:It's like playing um, like bowling. You kind of still gotta have the bumpers up a little bit too, or like I ain't gonna say, because bumpers is more safe. It's really safe yeah it's kind of like, like you said, just putting a railing on the stairs. It's like I'm not guiding you or whatever. Yeah, you can still run up and come down and hurt yourself, based on you, but there are some safety measures and those were the lessons that we put in them. Try to instill in them every day.
Speaker 1:I call it like empathy with expectation, so like we empathize that you are trying to figure this thing out.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But we still have expectations.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So you may not be ready.
Speaker 2:That's what's called value. Those are called family value.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you may not be ready to go to college, but you're not just going to for us in our home. Yeah, you can't do nothing. You can't do nothing. You're going to have to do something. So you can go, get your part-time job, go do something, but you got to do something.
Speaker 2:You got to pick up your amounts of chores you do around the house. I should never have to wash a dish, oh yeah. You know, because if you're not going to like, you ain't going to work and you ain't going to school. Well, this bad boy around here better be giving us something like okay, what he's doing.
Speaker 1:That's the one thing I think about in school, like, our boys are big introverts. One of them, though, he's going to do what he needs. I mean, he's an introvert, but when it comes to like looking for a job, doing certain things, he's going to do his thing he will survive or he go into more survival mode but the introvert part.
Speaker 1:That's why I think even in schools I know you don't want to do the popcorn read, but there still should be something to prepare them. So, no, listen, Kihari, we're going to read aloud. You're the fifth reader, so be prepared when we get to the fifth person. It's going to be your turn, right, so I can prep you for it, but you still got to read aloud.
Speaker 2:Right, can I tell you that anxiety? Yeah, so that's I had a girl break down in my class.
Speaker 1:And cry because she had to read.
Speaker 2:Yes, because she had to present.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:She had to present. She broke down.
Speaker 1:I just think we give them a little bit of something that they can do, because they are the ones that are. Like. I had a friend share with me that her friend's son graduate, a graduate of college with a degree, taking his mother on a job interview with him. That like listen, we got to do something to combat that.
Speaker 2:It's only going to get worse.
Speaker 1:Right that it's only gonna get worse, right, and so, um, that was one of the things for one of our sons was like finding a job and and being able to go on your out on your own to find it, and like that being so uncomfortable for him.
Speaker 1:And so, of course, empathy with expectation.
Speaker 1:Listen, I understand you are a little nervous about that, but guess what, if you don't have a job and you aren't doing things? I don't know where you're getting gas money from, because I'm not giving gas money to hang out with friends and you're not progressing or moving forward or growing as a person and within the net, to kind of make him a bit uncomfortable so that he could be comfortable doing things that you will have to do as a life skill, right? So I just think, as a parent, like those are, those are, how do you, how do you do those things so that your children are prepared to to be adults and to be able to care for themselves and all those things, like you cannot enable. So, anywho, that is one of my things. I want you to be able to figure out your path, but I'm not gonna enable in the process. I'm going to have empathy with expectations, set boundaries and still be a net, but my goal is for you to at some point be a successful adult who can take care of yourself yeah, I agree yep.
Speaker 1:So what is one of your parenting things?
Speaker 2:oh man, what I learned the most. Um, I understood why my parents worried or maybe it's just me, because my anxiety, for whatever reason, has kicked in over the last couple years. And little things like when they got a drive. Reason has kicked in over the last couple of years. And little things like, uh, when they got to drive and it's cold and you know the icy or whatever. Like I think about those things. Yeah, you know, um, something pop off in the, you know at one school. You know he'd be like, oh man, you know, hope it don't pop off at high school. It popped off and he'd be like you know, y'all be careful when y'all go out there at night, and I'd be. You know what I'm saying, all these things that my dad would say and I was like man dang, y'all know me, I'm very careful, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I and.
Speaker 2:But also I know my boys. I believe they'll kick in instinctively. I pray, but I know they don't have that, that street savvy. You know what I'm saying and so that worries me. But, like I said, I see why. So I think maybe my parents probably didn't think I was street savvy enough.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean probably didn't think I was street savvy enough.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, but I'm probably the most alert out of all of my family members when it comes to paying attention to something popping off.
Speaker 2:But it's I definitely kind of understood why they worry and it's almost like, and I don't want to say parenthood is a lifelong journey of worries, and I don't want to say parenthood is a lifelong journey of worries, but I mean that in a lovingly way and not a stressful, unfaithful way. But I think that that worry because you are a parent and no matter how old I get, no matter how old they get, there's still that age gap in between us when they were a baby. So they are forever my babies, whether they're grown babies or what. They're my lineage and as Papa Bear I'm supposed to protect. You know I'm supposed to be the person that they need when something's going down. You know if, if anything happens, they supposed to be like oh pops, you know help, yeah, what you want, and then I can fix it. But you know, I know we can't fix everything no, the, and you don't want to fix everything.
Speaker 2:No, you don't, but at the same time you don't want to see them suffer or struggle, even when you know that they're giving the effort that they have. And then it goes back to saying we can't expect them to be like us, and but it's like. You know, where do you, where do you, uh, sit back and just say, all right, keep, keep going, keep going, because you don't really know how much, how much uh break somebody has in them, you know, till they get to the point of it's just too much.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, but I do think the one thing that we made comfortable for the boys is that I think we made it comfortable enough. Where they feel that they can be emotional, yes, and because I wasn't going to have stone cold me, no, I don't believe in that. Yeah, our boys they don't. You know, they're okay with kind of sharing. I don't think I know they don't share everything with us, but there have been moments where somebody, like one of them, will call and say they're having a bad day, can they just talk, or I know for me, I remember one time one of them was just kind of short and mouthy and I said wait a minute. I said I just got home.
Speaker 1:So I know all of this is not about me and I said did you have a rough day at school? And he said yes, and I go well, listen, do you just? Do you want a hug? And he said yes, and I mean he said and hugged, and hugged, and hugged on me, and so sometimes it's just like that part was we tried to just kind of have a conversation instead of saying what the hell wrong with you yeah, I want them to never be afraid to ask for help or prayer.
Speaker 2:You know, because when I was young I had my dad, which was my dad's mom, and then I had my great grandparents and I could call my dad and I said my dad, can you give me a prayer? She said you all right? I said, yeah, I just need you to pray for me. And she would pray for me on the phone and or I would go down there and I said, my dear, you got some prayer oil. And she didn't question why. She just went and get it, got it and she would put it on my head and then she would say a little prayer, put the little prayer cloth on me and and that was.
Speaker 2:It was like an unspoken, you know conversation, conversation that I I needed some comforting, but I didn't want to be sappy about it, you know what I'm saying. And she didn't push it. And same thing with my great grandparents. I could just go over there and they would say how are you doing? I said, well, I've been better, you know, with the old folks say, and they didn't question. She would just say, well, you want something, you want this, you want, you want that, you know, trying to give me something food, or just and every now and then just touch, you know, just give me a little comfort and uh, and that will make it all better. So I just want, I hope that, and I know besides us, I would want them to have someone else, whether it's their godparents or you know, uh, even somebody like deja, you know, that they could just call and be like you know just how's everything going, man well, just just tired, that they can get some kind of comforting solace from I guess I should say that's.
Speaker 2:That's one concern that I have, um, because they'll make them old folks like they used to.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, especially you know for my folks, I had. You know we, when I say a village, you know we had a village.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Right there that I could reach out to.
Speaker 1:And it's just not that way, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Many places it's not that way. People move and do the thing, so it's not like having your family all on one street or at least in the same city Not until we win a lot that sort of thing.
Speaker 2:Then we can build our compound, and I bought my ticket.
Speaker 1:I bought you a ticket and then he's saying he wants a family compound until he get it. Then he's like how am I going to get these people off my compound.
Speaker 2:It's going to be big, so that way I ain't got to see them. You know what I'm saying they ain't got to see them and we're going to have a what's-her-name to our side, though. What the gate? Oh, they can't come in. No.
Speaker 1:Oh Lord, what? That is not the point. That is not the point of a compound.
Speaker 2:It is you.
Speaker 1:You got to have property, land, Y'all tell me is that the purpose of a compound, that one compounder has a gate and so people have to request access to him.
Speaker 2:But I'm the you the king. No, not the king, I'm the financier.
Speaker 1:You're the dictator.
Speaker 2:I'm the financier. Oh my gosh, yeah. So if I'm the financier, I have to make sure.
Speaker 1:All right. So family that was thinking y'all going to come live on the financier's compound y'all. Here's what he going to do he going to gate you out. He building a wall.
Speaker 2:No, don't say that, I'm just kidding. No, building a wall, I'm just kidding. Don't put me in that phrase. But no, I would you know, have my little gate right there.
Speaker 1:All right gate.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:Then they can buzz in.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Hey brother, what's?
Speaker 1:going on. Okay, what's up? Cuz Lord have mercy child.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and they jump the fence. Watch what happens.
Speaker 1:Oh no, Y'all may not want to come live on his compound.
Speaker 2:I'm putting my goats on him.
Speaker 1:Listen, I may not want to come live on his compound. I'm putting my goats on him.
Speaker 2:Listen, I may not even want to be on the compound. I'm putting my goats on him.
Speaker 1:I might be in my she shed outside the gate With my goats.
Speaker 2:Yep, I'm getting some goats, okay, well now I'm definitely no, I want the fainting goats.
Speaker 1:Then I'm definitely Listen. I'm not going outside to where the husband and wife each have their own house, because I'm not here.
Speaker 2:The one of the most country people up here is talking about.
Speaker 1:Listen, I might sound country, but that's all.
Speaker 2:See.
Speaker 1:I might sound country but I'm not doing no faints and goats in my yard.
Speaker 2:That's get a discount.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:A USDA loan, uh-uh when you have goats Not in my yard. You like curry goat.
Speaker 1:They need to be way out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're not just going to be right there.
Speaker 1:When I come out to get into my car or to do what I'm going to do. I do not plan on passing no goats.
Speaker 2:Unless we got a train one. If we got a trained one, it's like having a dog.
Speaker 1:You about to make me say a word to you. Do they do goat yoga? No, you about to get me. I ain't doing goat yoga.
Speaker 2:You see what they be doodling on people.
Speaker 1:No, I ain't doing that, no, but we can get a nice little goat.
Speaker 2:No A duck A? No A duck no.
Speaker 1:I don't even want a dog.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1:That might be why a dog ain't feeling good today. I didn't do anything with Cinnabon. That has nothing to do with me.
Speaker 2:Anyway, so yeah, what are you looking forward to this weekend? Because you know this is a three-day weekend.
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 2:And the weather's going to be amazing. Yeah, well, it's supposed to be a little bit of rain, though. Is that not amazing for you, miss? Don't go nowhere. Well, but the thing is we have guests coming this weekend. Yeah, I'm going to put the grill under the patio.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's supposed to be a little rain, but I don't know to the patio. Yeah, so it's supposed to be a little rain, but I don't know. I just look forward to. Just my biggest thing for the weekend, and especially a three-day weekend, is being able to wake up when my body wakes up. That is a gift. To wake up when my body wakes up, not with an alarm, but just when my body says you know I'll be.
Speaker 2:that's not true, hey, by seven o'clock it just depends on what we did the night before, but typically I'm up by nine.
Speaker 1:in the morning I'm up by nine.
Speaker 2:It's an alarm that be ready to go off at seven o'clock.
Speaker 1:And, and that's it because my natural body it's sleep because I have to put my alarm on snooze because that is my gift of waking up, when my body says wake up. So that's what I look forward to mostly on the weekend. But I mean we don't have any big plans. We might do a winery, um, we're gonna do some grilling, um, so, um, key's gonna make his bus and ribs, so we'll have those chicken wings and whatever else we decide to do for I think I want to make some dirty cabbage sunday.
Speaker 1:I saw that recipe. You send up some. That's so funny. You say something about dirty cabbage because my mama today says she had her new cabbage recipe. She's like y'all come for Thanksgiving, I'm going to make it. And so she told me what was in it and I said I said well, she says first you fry up the bacon, then you take the bacon out, then you do something else Take that out, then put the cabbage in, then put everything back in. I'm going to make that for y'all. I said, well, you know. I said well, key won't be able to eat it, but y'all can eat it. I said well.
Speaker 1:I said well, I guess he's going to have to figure out his own cabbage baby yes, sir, I'll make me a blooming cabbage anywho. So yeah, so she's excited about making that. She said that's her new dish and it is delicious.
Speaker 2:I'm going to make me a blooming cabbage then.
Speaker 1:So what are you looking forward to for the weekend?
Speaker 2:Three-day weekends. It's going to be good, like the weather. I love this kind of break where it's kind of you know, fall is coming. It's still warm outside, but it's it's not uncomfortable no, the mornings, feel so good, yeah, good breeze. So of course I'll probably cut my grass again um and then I gotta marinate my meats. So I gotta go to costco. Costco, I gotta come to you and get some chicken wings. Uh, one pack of real, because the pack of real has is pack of real has, is it? Two slabs in there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there are two slabs in there.
Speaker 2:And I cut them in half, so, and then I'm good on my seasoning, but you know they might have something I might need, but that's really it, like I want to. I really I need it, like I honestly do need a mental break. Um, because this week has been, like I said, trying for me with um. We're starting to do testing and so you know, doing the small group testing with the um and being a co-taught teacher now, as opposed to having my own classroom in.
Speaker 2:PE. So I got to prepare, you know, ieps and data for other case managers getting ready to do their IEPs, and so it's just a lot of stress, it's like ah, and a lot of listening, you know, to the inner thoughts, inner speakings of God saying I got this, this is the purpose. I know it's a purpose. I'm not stressing it, you know, because I know why I'm in this position, but I'm in this position. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Because sometimes I think certain things may not be specifically your choice.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:But I need where I'm at. I need this because it allows me, I'm not required to coach, yeah, and I can do my internship when it's time, my interim hours immediately after work and my practicum hours. So it's the perfect situation, but it's just new, right, it's the perfect situation, but it's just new, Right, it's new. And so much has changed since eight years ago when I did this, or maybe nine years ago when I did this last, because the people that are making the decisions on what we should do in a classroom and how we are to offer services are nine times out of 10.
Speaker 2:people who've never been in a classroom setting like that, you know, especially when you got more support kids in the classroom than you have regular kids in the classroom.
Speaker 1:That's an issue.
Speaker 2:You know, and so, especially when you're not teaching the topic like I don't you know, I know world geography, I know what they call it, Zoology, not zoology. So I know I'm a smart person, but it's not what I went to school for, it is not what I study every day. So when the teacher's teaching, I'm up there like this, like a kid taking notes, but I still have to pay attention to make sure, you know, I prompt my students. Hey, you got that. You need help with it. You need to highlight that. You need a graphic organizer right now. You know, or is this okay? You need to take a five-minute, you know? Get my mind together, break you know. It's all that I have to do on top of making sure I know, because nothing makes you feel bad when the kid asks you a question. You're like I don't know. I mean, I'm not afraid to say I don't know.
Speaker 1:But it's still like, hey, this is, and they look at at me. How the hell you think I'm gonna get a if dr hair don't know the answer to this question? I don't I get what you're saying, but I also understand the fact that you are in a different content areas. That is not even that I mean. The expectation should not be that you know all the things.
Speaker 2:No, but I'm saying, but you know me, anything I want to do, what I want to do.
Speaker 1:Well, you need to calm yourself down.
Speaker 2:I know that's what I said. I know that, but it's still not.
Speaker 1:Well, listen, you get it together.
Speaker 2:It's still don't mean I'm not going to feel that way until I get myself out of that Child. That way, get it together. That's why I've been meditating.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mm-hmm, all the other M in tatings.
Speaker 1:You need to.
Speaker 2:But I can tell you what yesterday, when I got up, yeah, I had a great day yesterday. Okay, I wonder what was a little different.
Speaker 1:Maybe your meditation, Anywho. Next topic.
Speaker 2:So you, I appreciate you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, next topic.
Speaker 2:The doctor said Next, I'm just telling you what the doctor said. The doctor said take one in the morning.
Speaker 1:Next topic and one at night.
Speaker 2:And as needed, he said, especially in the weekend. You want to make sure it's kind of like taking a steroid pack you flood your body with it. That's what he said. Okay, that's medication, all right, so let's do a side eye of the week. Is there anything this week that gave you a side? Oh, lord, or oh keith lahat, you would never believe this. Yes, or? Or Lord, or child Child.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you about this lady. Okay, I'm on my way to work. Right On my way to work, there's this one lane road. So I get into the one lane road, and so I noticed, as I was getting over to get in the one lane road, it was plenty of space to get behind this car, because the other car behind it, the jeep, was a little ways behind it, anywho, didn't think anything of it. So as we get ready to go, this car, like the, the, the speed is 45 miles per hour. This car is doing like 20 25. I was like, oh, I wonder if something's wrong with the car. It didn't look like anything was wrong with it and I was like, oh, maybe something wrong with the car. So I didn't look like he thinks wrong with it. And I was like, oh, maybe something wrong with the car. So I kind of slowed down a bit, cause I thought maybe they're gonna have to pull over and put on. You know, no, that was not what was wrong, y'all what was wrong?
Speaker 1:Not a damn thing. So I'm driving behind. So you now listen.
Speaker 1:I am a fast driver, so once I realize so I go and I guess whoever this little person was felt like I was on their bumper. So then they try to stop real hard. I was like, oh so this is what y'all this, what this was you playing games? This is in a morning work traffic, people trying to get to work. I mean, it's a lot of people behind me. So then as we get up through the one lane and then there's the opportunity to turn left, she take her little raggedy self, gets over into the left lane and then speeds off real fast. And I just thought I I did call it the b word y'all. But then I said, lord, I said you know what I said. Something has to be bad, horrible, horrible.
Speaker 1:For her to act that way To act, that way, Like the spirit of her. I mean just horrible to think this morning. Knowing people are trying to get to work, that I'm just going to drive 25 miles per hour just and then stop on my brakes and do all these things just to piss people off this morning and just to be an ass. And so I was like, oh I, I, I did honk and then I said, okay, you will be telling me not to do that because people crazy.
Speaker 1:I did honk and then I said, oops, well, I already did it, but yeah, I just that to me. I was like what, why? What is the why behind that? Like what? Why? What made you wake up and feel like that's what you wanted?
Speaker 2:to do. That's horrible.
Speaker 1:I hate when people to people and so, yeah, that, that just really that really just grind your gears it tied my head and anywho, I I just said well, I guess I'll just thank the Lord that I'm not in. I don't know what that woman is going through, but I'm not going through the same thing. So that was my thing, what was your thing?
Speaker 2:I'm trying to find this word. What is the word where? Like I can't, you know, I lose my mind in in um sounds, you know? Like what is my pet peeve? Like that'll make me lose my mind and I've always said it, but tiktok has blasted it over. If I hear this sound, I'm turning tiktok off. Or I don't care how much information a person has. If I hear this sound that goes on in someone's house, I, I'm done.
Speaker 1:It's the chirp of the of the smoke detector.
Speaker 2:Cause remember I could, but that time we had that, that cabin, and I honestly had to dismantle the smoke detector because they had a bad battery in there and leave us one.
Speaker 1:And so and it seemed like like everybody, about 75% of people on TikTok they need a battery for their smoke detector right and so, but I've always felt that way.
Speaker 2:It drives me in freaking. I don't care if you're saying, bro, here's a million dollar ticket, but you gotta play these numbers 17, 25, I'm out. I'm not even gonna hear the rest of the numbers, I'll stay. You, yeah, you probably would, but I couldn't. But anyway, I'm in the sauna and this brother gets in there you got a smoke detector no, it should have. It should have had a smoke detector. I'm talking about the baby. No, I don't like. I can't stand unnecessary sounds.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, smacking. Okay, what was he doing?
Speaker 2:He was chewing gum in the sauna and you know, in the sauna you're already some people.
Speaker 1:They're kind of breathing heavy, so he's going you should have said, brother, that gum good huh no, because I ain't gonna fight somebody.
Speaker 2:we both half naked and slick with sweat, he that might be a ditty for him, you know, no doubt. So I was like no, and I was trying to, and I had just finished meditating.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so all of it just went down the drain and I was like I got another 15 more minutes in the sun. I did 10-minute meditation. And he, oh no. And I was like I mean, so I looked over at him, I mean it's like. I was like, no, he really chewing open wide.
Speaker 1:His mouth was like that too.
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh. And so that, right, there was my side eye. Because I just, oh, I hate that, Like even when kids do that at school and they chewing real loud, or when people put their whole mouth on the bottle Like you're supposed to the bottle you're supposed to put. Yeah, your lip supposed to pierce in. Your top lip goes inside the bottle, not over the bottle like that. That's a. You can't tell me nothing If you drink a soda like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I will say this guy has a lot of pet peeves.
Speaker 2:Yes, I do. I have a lot and we'll do that as a show. Ick day, yes, but that one thing that don't chew like that. Oh, even in my classroom I tell my kids I say you get you gone. But what can't you do in my class? You can't pop it or you can't be chewing with your mouth.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I do that. I have to catch myself.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, when it comes to gum oh, that's how I know this relationship oh, chewing gum, oh my Lord, my gum, oh my.
Speaker 1:Lord Anywho.
Speaker 2:My Lord. Well, that's my ick. Well, not my ick. That's my side eye of the week. All right, so well, that's pretty much it for this week. Next week, what do you want to talk about? Next week? Anybody got anything you want to talk about? Next week, anybody got anything you want to talk about? But look, I ain't gonna say next week, because by the time this comes out like we've already hit the next week's episode. You know what I'm saying. So we try to have keep one in the can, two in the can, what we need to two in the can two in the can, so that way we pre-program it to come out and then boom, anything.
Speaker 2:Oh, and by the time, y'all see this episode, I would have celebrated my birthday. Yeah, what do?
Speaker 1:you want to do for your birthday.
Speaker 2:My birthday is on a Wednesday.
Speaker 1:I know, but we don't have to celebrate. I mean, what do you want to do to celebrate it?
Speaker 2:On my birthday.
Speaker 1:No, I mean, what do you want to?
Speaker 2:do to celebrate it Like it doesn't?
Speaker 1:have to be something Well on my birthday.
Speaker 2:No, I mean, what do you want? The greatest gift of all is you on my birthday. That's the greatest gift. But I'm good man.
Speaker 2:I was trying to think is there anything in particular that I want? And no, um, I need some glasses, but I'm thinking about the Ray-Ban Metas. So, ray-ban, if y'all want to send your boy some glasses, I have, uh, progressive vision, so I gotta have the, like the bifocals, but you know all that kind of stuff too. Um, but also, apple is having an Apple event soon, or they've already had it by the time y'all read this. Hear this episode, though, and I think the new AirPod 3s are coming out, and I wasn't even thinking about them.
Speaker 1:What's so special about them?
Speaker 2:it's just a new AirPod, but I wasn't thinking about them listen, and this is real talk because I was like my air pods are bomb. They holding up, they're doing everything they need to do right so I'm not buying none of those. But then all of a sudden, the last two or three days, they start popping. You know, normally when they start popping that means they've gotten too much water that is apple look, it could be apple apple does that every time, every time it could be listen.
Speaker 1:Something new gets ready to come out. I'm just saying All the old stuff start acting funny.
Speaker 2:It could be Apple or Crapple, but what I do know. I'm just saying, when they go down, what's my option? You see what I'm saying. I'm going to get up there, listen you got lots of options y'all.
Speaker 1:Let me tell y'all this person has a lot of Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 2:But everyone has a purpose. My headphones have a purpose. My Apple AirPods are when I'm working out all that other crazy stuff, because I can move my head and they don't fall out at all. The other ones are for, like the Sony's, that's, for my deep studying, because those are noise canceling and I grind when I got those on.
Speaker 1:What else you got?
Speaker 2:That's the only ones.
Speaker 1:I beg to differ. I am sure if I go look, you have more than just two sets.
Speaker 2:Those are the only ones. Those are the only ones, okay.
Speaker 1:They are Okay, besides the ones we got on my head.
Speaker 2:All right, those are the only ones. Okay, they are okay, besides the ones we got on my head alright that's it, okay, exactly, alright, right hmm, okay, those are the only ones, anywho did you and and look, she always talking about those are the only ones Any who do. And look, she always talking about what I don't need. And then as soon as I get it and she experienced it, she's like it's not bad, I probably don't need it either. This is great. This works perfectly. I don't need it.
Speaker 1:This probably don't need it either.
Speaker 2:This is great, this works perfectly.
Speaker 1:I don't need it.
Speaker 2:This is everything I need, and more.
Speaker 1:I probably don't need it, just the same way he didn't need it I mean, but there's so many things in the world that we could have.
Speaker 2:don't necessarily mean we need, but there's so many things that I have, that someone said I didn't need or I shouldn't have, and they wind up using it to the point where it's like this is amazing.
Speaker 1:What did I use of that? That's yours, that I used.
Speaker 2:The Peloton tread. Okay, the Peloton bite. Okay, first of all Hold on, okay? No, we're just saying so. Are those things that you did like you do enjoy, really enjoy, using it.
Speaker 1:I do, however, Okay that's all.
Speaker 2:There's no. However.
Speaker 1:To end.
Speaker 2:There's no, however.
Speaker 1:And then we're going to close out for today.
Speaker 2:Oh, now she want to close out because God Ian.
Speaker 1:No, he didn't get me Do whatever you want. He wanted these things. Now this is what happens He'll get them, I won't use them. And then he literally begs, begs me to try them. So it is not that he gets it. Then also I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get on his little tread thing, I'm just gonna get on his little.
Speaker 2:I have to be he literally is like that she is so adamant that I didn't need it, that she don't want to fool with it, but I'm like, if you just try it, you will understand why it's important to have. So go ahead, keep going.
Speaker 1:So I just wanted to clarify that. Yes, so that's what he does. So then, and so then he pretty much forces me on the device.
Speaker 2:OK. And then, once you get on the device, how are the emotions about the device?
Speaker 1:Then I like I mean I will say that I do like both of the devices.
Speaker 2:However, Y'all heard of DJing.
Speaker 1:I like both of the devices, however, do I need them? No, I mean, we have gym memberships okay.
Speaker 2:Well, for someone that don't always talk about, I don't like going to the gym. I want to go to the gym, okay, this has been the refreshingly normal podcast.
Speaker 1:I don't need to go, I don't need listen and this is the.
Speaker 2:I don't know who this person is next to be, but thank y'all for and this is the. I don't know who this person is next to be, but thank y'all for participating. Thank you for coming out, thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 1:He just wants to be right, but he's wrong.
Speaker 2:No, wrong, I tell you, I'm going to tell you this is going to be an episode fellas.
Speaker 1:He's wrong.
Speaker 2:Happy or right, I'd rather wrong. Happy or right. I'd rather be happy than right.
Speaker 1:and that's how he wants to be right. That's why he's trying to wrap it up, but he's wrong. I'd rather be happy than right obviously he'd rather be right here knuckle sandwich that's what makes the marriage work knuckle sandwich because he's talking about happy but but he just want to be right.
Speaker 2:I didn't worry about keeping score Anywho, so we will see y'all when we see y'all. Thank you for tuning in to the Refreshing, the Normal podcast. I am Keefla.
Speaker 1:And I am Lucrezia.
Speaker 2:And we will see y'all when we see you. Thank you, love you, bye. Bye, the Refreshingly Normal Podcast. Thank you.