Love Is Blind, But Not To Mustaches

If real life is a mosaic, this one clicks the pieces together: a cough finally fading, a yard trimmed to perfection, sauna small talk that turns into a debate on fasting, and the quiet victory of getting back to the gym. We trade everyday wins before shifting into the work that fills us up—Cree’s week of trainings, an unexpectedly vulnerable day with high school leaders, and a bright moment with gifted fifth graders building ADHD and anxiety supports for their classmates. Their plan to create a checkout center for tools and simple “top five” strategy posters shows how far students can go with a little guidance and a lot of ownership.

Then we take a hard turn into two letters that pull no punches. First, a fiancé who loves his partner but feels stuck over her facial hair. We get honest about timing, tenderness, and how to bring up sensitive grooming topics without shaming someone you plan to marry. Next, a family dilemma with real stakes: should a couple uproot children to move closer to older half-siblings for a few years, risking stability and relationships? We unpack custody realities, grief, the logistics of schools and jobs, and the resentment that builds when one partner makes unilateral plans.

In between the heavy moments, we keep it human and funny with dating “unspoken rules.” When is it okay to use the bathroom at their place? Are sweatpants and no makeup a green flag for comfort? When should you post someone on social media—first date, exclusive, or never? And how do you handle sleepovers when safety, distance, and boundaries matter more than romance? We also share a few side eyes (kids and trash cans, we’re looking at you), gratitude for wellness, conference prep energy, and Halloween joy courtesy of Monica and Brandy.

Hit play for a mix of humor, honesty, and practical takeaways on relationships, parenting, mental health strategies for students, and the shifting boundary lines of modern dating. If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review—what unspoken rule would you add?

Don't forget to Like, Comment, Share, and Subscribe.

Thank you for listening!

Chapters

• 0:03 Cold Open And Catching Up
• 2:03 Sleep, Sickness, And Small Joys
• 2:56 Yard Work, Sauna Chats, And Extreme Fasting
• 7:01 Kree’s Week: Training While Sick
• 9:18 Student Vulnerability And A Standout School
• 12:01 Fifth Graders Tackling ADHD And Anxiety
• 16:54 Conference Plans And Halloween Concert Hype
• 19:09 Format Debate And Listener Letter Setup
• 20:12 Listener Letter: Fiancée’s Facial Hair
• 25:12 Moving For Teens Or Protecting Stability
• 31:20 Dating Etiquette: Bathrooms And Boundaries
• 36:08 Sweatpants, Makeup, And Comfort
• 40:00 Posting Partners On Social Media
• 47:06 Sleepovers, Safety, And Staying Over
• 54:29 Side Eye Of The Week
• 58:14 Gratitudes, Tech Woes, And Wrap-Up

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_01: 0:23

Hello, everybody. Thank you for tuning in with us at the Refreshingly Normal Podcasts. I am Keith Lo.

SPEAKER_03: 0:32

I am Kree.

SPEAKER_01: 0:34

And we are so excited to have you back again with us. I hope you're enjoying everything. And uh let's just get right into it. Today's episode is brought to you by Life.

SPEAKER_03: 0:48

I was gonna say nobody.

SPEAKER_01: 0:52

Because life is amazing. Life and cough.

SPEAKER_03: 0:57

I'm sorry. I still have a wee bit of a cough. Not nearly as bad as um last week.

SPEAKER_01: 1:04

No, I've actually been able to get a little sleep. Yeah. A little sleep, just a little bit. There's been other factors keeping me up.

SPEAKER_03: 1:14

Anywho, I've been sleeping well.

SPEAKER_01: 1:17

Always you should. But anyway, let's get right down to it. Okay, do Kifla, what um have you done um great this week? Because if I would say Kree, well, I was waiting for him to ask me first.

SPEAKER_03: 1:34

He said he asked me first every time.

SPEAKER_01: 1:38

So I forgot we was doing a podcast. Whatever.

SPEAKER_03: 1:42

Anywho, tell us yours because last time I went first.

SPEAKER_01: 1:46

So the last time we filmed, we we uh we recorded was last Thursday. Last Wednesday last Wednesday. Okay, so um nothing really went down this uh for us because you were sick.

SPEAKER_03: 2:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 2:04

And um, and I just I I I got my yard together yes uh this weekend, this past weekend. Uh I had to trim the hedges and to cut the grass a little low. Um I need to get me a lawnmower, though. So if anybody out there lawnmower land, I need me a new lawnmower. All right, I was using my brothers and I need my own tools, okay? Um but I got my my yard together, you know, I'm big on that. So now I still need to do like I want to pressure wash the um the driveway. I want to pressure wash the driveway, and then I want to um get everything together on the back patio for cause it's getting ready to be, you know, nice little sit on the patio and listen to the radio kind of weather. Cause it won't, you know, mosquitoes are getting ready to leave because it's gonna be cool. So you gotta worry about that gnats and all that stuff, you know. But I want to have all that taken care of so that we can enjoy the beautiful patio that we um got uh installed with miss by Mr. Caesar. Um what else? Uh I had a great uh did I have IEP? Yeah, I did an IEP uh Monday. Um it was virtual, so that was good. It went very well. I have two next week, I think it is. Um so I'm in that season, baby. I'm just boom, boom, boom, boom, typing. So other than that, uh the gym is coming back. I'm feeling I I feel the energy. I wiped myself out today, though. Ooh. Yeah, and then I got Nasana for like 25 minutes.

SPEAKER_03: 3:46

What's your friend in there?

SPEAKER_01: 3:48

Yeah, he oh, not the uh the but Wayne came back.

SPEAKER_03: 3:51

Oh, Wayne, okay.

SPEAKER_01: 3:52

Yeah, so I was nervous that when, you know, I was like, dang, I ain't seen Wayne. But maybe, you know, he's coming in early or whatever because he has, I think he may be on the conferencing schedule. Oh. So he could come in early, yeah, and go home. But um, I saw him today. I was like, whew, make sure my boy was all right. Um, but the other guy, no, I haven't seen him. I saw some other dude in there today in the sauna talking about um um fasting. He asked me, do I fast? And he said, the body can fast. He said, I fast for out of a week, I fast 96 hours in a week. What? Something like that. That's how many hours out of the week he fasts. He eats only four times a week. So when he fasts, and then he breaks his fast with his meal, and then he's right into the next fast. So it's like one time. He only eats four times a week.

SPEAKER_03: 4:44

I think I remember seeing some other guy that did that. He did fasting like that. Yeah. And then he ate a big bulk of a meal all at one time, but he ate enough that was supposed to sustain him.

SPEAKER_01: 4:58

Oh, I mean, he he I mean, he's in great shape now. Yeah. This dude is, I mean, nice muscle bellies. Yeah. I mean, he's in amazing shape, but I was like, shoot, fasting for that long.

SPEAKER_03: 5:09

But I I I remember seeing a guy like that, I don't know if it was Instagram or TikTok, but when he did eat, it wasn't like a small meal. Yeah. Like he ate a significant. Yeah. Uh-huh. And and so that sustained him.

SPEAKER_01: 5:23

That probably wouldn't work for me because I eat and fall asleep. Like, you know, I get sleepy.

SPEAKER_03: 5:28

Well, if you ate it when you did in the evening when you got home.

SPEAKER_01: 5:31

But now you don't put that on your stomach. People that have, like, you know, my stomach don't do right. People that stomach don't.

SPEAKER_03: 5:37

I think anybody's body for something so extreme, because that means that would be extreme for somebody who eats three meals a day, that at some point your body would.

SPEAKER_01: 5:46

I mean, I'm sure it would regulate. It would be like that.

SPEAKER_03: 5:48

Would regulate and adjust.

SPEAKER_01: 5:50

I wouldn't know what's going on in here.

SPEAKER_03: 5:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 5:53

Gut-wise, you know. Yeah. It's like different. But I don't want to do that. I like eating. That's why we work out so hard.

SPEAKER_03: 6:04

Well, you do get to eat, but you get to eat that one time.

SPEAKER_01: 6:06

I know. I don't know. I probably could do that.

SPEAKER_03: 6:10

I mean, just depends, and I guess, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01: 6:13

Yeah. But he's, I mean, he was looking nice, though. He had nice muscle bellies and everything, but not your boy. Um, right, not right now, put it like that. I probably will go on a spiritual journey where I'm fasting and um, you know, doing my meditation even more so in a deep dive. But nah, I'm good.

unknown: 6:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 6:34

So, did was that enough time for you to think about your week? I was already prepared to talk about my week. That's what they always say.

SPEAKER_03: 6:43

Anywho.

SPEAKER_01: 6:43

Okay. All right. So, how was your week? I was sick since we last uh recorded.

SPEAKER_03: 6:49

I was sick. So I um pushed through the week because I had um lots of trainings, um, presentations to do that I didn't want to cancel on. So I tried to like do my medicine. Like I never had a fever or anything, I just was sick.

SPEAKER_02: 7:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 7:10

Um, I did take um like a COVID test just to make sure that I wasn't being irresponsible in taking, I mean, COVID germs with me. Yeah. So I didn't have a COVID or anything, it was just a cold. So um, so anywho, I pushed through the week to make it through the week. And Saturday and Sunday, well, more Saturday. Um, I just really spent the day resting on Saturday and just taking meds back to back. Bench watched um um is Love Blind, the new season, season nine. So I did that on Saturday. I think the new, the rest of the episodes came out yesterday. So I'll have to watch those to see what's going on on Love is Blind. But I did that. And then Sunday, I still rested, um, but I still helped with our um house tasks like uh washing clothes and that sort of thing. But I did more rest than anything. Like I washed clothes, but I spent most of the time on the sofa relaxing and yeah, you need to get that energy back, man. Yeah, so I did that, and Monday I felt better. That cough was um had gone away. Not a way away, but it was much better. So, anywho, that's what I did. And then for work this week, um, I've been super busy with um presentations.

SPEAKER_01: 8:57

Good busy though, because you came home with some good stories. You got a new favorite school.

SPEAKER_03: 9:01

You had yeah, I have a new, uh I shouldn't have favorites, but I do. So when we do one of our trainings with the student high school, middle school students, I have a new favorite high school. Um, the students were just awesome and so insightful and engaged, huh? Very engaged, vulnerable, really expressive. Yeah, they're really expressive of their thoughts, like they really, I guess, felt safe in that space. And so um, that just made for good conversation and had a good time with them.

SPEAKER_01: 9:39

So question, like when you do that, are they um because you know you mentioned vulnerability, so that means a lot of of course a lot of kids are not vulnerable. Like I was saying with the when I had to cover the homeroom, they didn't want to share anything. So d do you notice like you had well, okay, was was this particular class where uh the vulnerability like shackles fell apart all at once, um, and where everybody wanted to share, or it kind of like a few shared and then everybody felt got comfortable and it was like, oh, let me share. Oh, let me share. Like that. Well, um Or was it a just they were just ready?

SPEAKER_03: 10:21

I feel like they were kind of just ready. I I the way that our training is set up, it does over by the end, majority are that way.

SPEAKER_02: 10:37

I'm sure.

SPEAKER_03: 10:38

Um this group just started early on. That's good.

SPEAKER_01: 10:42

That's good.

SPEAKER_03: 10:42

Yeah, they just started early on. I wonder why.

SPEAKER_01: 10:45

Like were they prepped in the world. You know what?

SPEAKER_03: 10:46

I think it was I think um this was their leader or their uh person in charge of the group, their sponsor, isn't it was not a school counselor.

SPEAKER_01: 10:59

It's a regular teacher, but so they interact probably with more of those kids on a regular well, yeah, and you and she just I had relationships with some of them.

SPEAKER_02: 11:12

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03: 11:13

Yeah, and uh I think it was partly part of that because of her.

SPEAKER_02: 11:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 11:18

Um, so yeah, I think that that that you could tell that there was a uh a true connection with some of them with her, and I think that's what made it that way. The kids weren't necessarily didn't know each other because they mentioned um that they had seen each other, like when we do our wrap-up follow-up, and they mentioned, like, I I've seen some of y'all, but I've never so there's like, but today was such a great time with each other, and so friends. So yeah, and they have a big leadership role, so um, in the work they're getting ready to do. Um, so that was um really nice to spend the day because we spent an entire day with them. Yeah. Um, and then I got to be interviewed by some fifth graders. They are doing a project where they um um these are are these gifted students, you said yeah. Okay, they're gifted students, and they have a project of where they want to create change or have some sort of impact with their school community or their community overall. And they wanted to um figure out what were the best strategies or tools for students with ADHD and anxiety um because they wanted to be able to provide some extra resources for kids in their school. So the kids wanted to provide. I love it. Um, so they wanted to ask me questions like from my experience, what are good tools or what do kids tend to like? What what are some of the strategies that I've seen work? They asked me what are some things that the kids feel like they need, but it really doesn't work. So it's like a need, but they don't really, it's a want, but it's not really a need, like it's not working for them. And so they talk through, we talk through, and I answer their questions, and um, and so they told me what they were trying to do, and um, and they were wanting to make fidgets and things on their own and maybe sell them, or but that's a that's a big task.

SPEAKER_02: 13:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 13:33

Um, and so I told them that I think it'd be great um that they should write, they have to write this into a proposal, anyways. And I said, I think we could look into possibly finding someone to sponsor or grant or something that somebody would do after reading your proposal. And I told them I'd be willing to support them and help them with that. And then what they could do is have a checkout center, create a checkout center for particular items that that students could check out. And in the meantime, let's think about like creating posters that they could put around the school that would say top five strategies to help you focus, top five strategies to help you when you're anxious, top five strategies when you um are very energetic. Um, just things that that go align with certain certain characteristics of an ADHD or anxious person. Right. And they can put posters around the school and areas where kids would see them. So they'd be more centered around that, around those specific things that kids could relate to and they could help in that way until we're able to possibly get their um their checkout center together. So, anywho, I I had not thought about that and didn't know what they were trying to do. Uh-oh, somebody's blowing the nose. Um, so anywho, um that is uh I got to talk with them today, but it was just so cute to see them as fifth graders and and coming together for um their idea for their um project of that will create change or s or help their uh school community. So that was nice to do today to see little people doing good work.

SPEAKER_01: 15:26

Good job, good job, good job in in your um uh okay, what am I trying to say? Good job in your being impactful, yeah. To the change agents of today. Yeah, of tomorrow. Of tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03: 15:40

So that was really nice. I was glad that their teacher thought to ask me, and so I got to get on a call, a uh virtual call with them, and um, for them to interview me. So that was nice. Good job, good job, good job. Anything else? Um, let's see. Other than that, no, for this week.

SPEAKER_01: 16:01

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_03: 16:03

Yeah, I think that's it for me. That's good enough. I mean, yeah. Other than that, it was just um just busy with other trainings, but the typical trainings, nothing different.

SPEAKER_01: 16:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 16:17

Those are my two outs.

SPEAKER_01: 16:19

Well, when you when you um and for the next episode, you have a little something to share.

SPEAKER_03: 16:25

Oh, yeah, because I'm going to the conference. Yeah. So I go to the conference on Sunday. Yeah. So I'm excited about that. I've already looked through the brochure of what sessions are being offered and have written down my top two for each time period. And um, our friend is back, Miss Cinnabon. She don't need nothing until we get on this little thing talking and not paying her any mind.

SPEAKER_01: 16:53

The whole time we was doing it.

SPEAKER_03: 16:54

The whole time.

SPEAKER_01: 16:56

She was not doing anything.

SPEAKER_03: 16:57

She was not worried about it.

SPEAKER_01: 16:59

She got a whole nother human being in the room like that that she can go and bark at.

SPEAKER_03: 17:02

No, little girl.

SPEAKER_01: 17:03

Go get Kahari. Go, go get Kahari. Go.

SPEAKER_03: 17:07

Go go get Kahari.

SPEAKER_01: 17:08

Go get Kahari.

SPEAKER_03: 17:09

Kahari.

SPEAKER_01: 17:11

Go, Cindy.

SPEAKER_03: 17:12

Go to Kahari's room.

SPEAKER_01: 17:14

Anyway, guys.

SPEAKER_03: 17:16

Anywho.

SPEAKER_01: 17:16

If you are a dog parent, you understand. Especially a needy dog parent. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 17:22

So I'm excited about the conference. I've already kind of decided what sessions I think I want to go to.

SPEAKER_02: 17:30

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03: 17:30

So I have those all organized on my app for the conference.

SPEAKER_00: 17:35

All right.

SPEAKER_03: 17:36

So, anywho, I'm excited about that. And excited for um some time just to focus on just that.

SPEAKER_01: 17:45

You know, um, I know it's, you know, we could talk about it next episode or whatever, but all this week, like, I was just really, you know, because everybody's talking about Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. Oh, yeah. But I'm like, I'm gonna be in a Pair Sock Candy this Halloween. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 17:59

So I'm going to the so go over you.

SPEAKER_03: 18:04

You, you, you, new Monica. Yes, we're going to the Monica and Brandy concert on Halloween.

SPEAKER_01: 18:13

That's gonna be it's gonna be good.

SPEAKER_03: 18:15

Uh-huh. So I'm excited. I thought that's coming so close, too.

SPEAKER_01: 18:19

Yeah, I'm excited about that. See Brandon sitting up in my room. Yeah. Yeah. Wait.

SPEAKER_03: 18:26

Yeah, I'm gonna be.

SPEAKER_01: 18:27

I remember back in the days when I made a joke to Kobe Bryant about that.

SPEAKER_03: 18:31

What did you say?

SPEAKER_01: 18:32

When we were, we had just got through playing basketball against him for the original um Real World versus Road Rules challenge. And uh we was we was outside uh in the parking lot in his car, sitting in his car. Um, and I was like, uh, because Ronnie was sitting in the car, and I said, Ronnie, you better get out of there. Brandy's gonna get mad at you, girl. And he looked at me and was like, bruh, why you say that? And I was like, Ronnie, get out of there. And so we was, and then we joked about something else about it.

SPEAKER_03: 19:04

Oh, because he like took her to prompt. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 19:07

Yeah, so that's what, yeah, I was like, I was like, Ronnie, you better get out of there. Uh, Brandy's gonna be mad at you. And we was all just laughing. Oh, my ring was in my hand when I put my lotion on in my pocket. Yep. So, and I guess that's it. You ready? Hey, I it's some questions. The the first email had some real cool questions.

SPEAKER_03: 19:28

The first email.

SPEAKER_01: 19:30

The one I just sent. I sent two. No, it's no. That's okay.

SPEAKER_03: 19:35

Oh, I got that. I mean, I have it, but I didn't know you want to go to questions first. I didn't know if you wanted to look at an article first. I'm sorry, we normally did the do the article and then we look at the questions first.

SPEAKER_01: 19:44

That's what we normally do.

SPEAKER_03: 19:45

Yeah, that's what we've been doing the last time.

SPEAKER_01: 19:46

All the 50 times.

SPEAKER_03: 19:47

That's the last two times, that's how we've done it. Uh I'm sorry, I'm prepared for that.

SPEAKER_01: 19:52

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03: 19:53

I thought we were doing that, the article. It's whatever you want to do.

SPEAKER_01: 19:58

I'll do whatever you want to do.

SPEAKER_03: 19:59

Well, I'm going to keep with the format um and keep Mr. ADHD together. Yep. You're so welcome.

SPEAKER_01: 20:06

Yes, yes, Miss Silent when asked on.

SPEAKER_03: 20:10

So here we have a situation. This is something that you sent to me.

SPEAKER_01: 20:16

Of course.

SPEAKER_03: 20:17

Um, so this person says, I have an amazing fianc. First of all, before I even start, he says, of course, like I don't send him stuff. Keep going. Come on, don't stay ADHD. I I just won't, I just won't.

SPEAKER_01: 20:32

You just got sidetracked.

SPEAKER_03: 20:33

I just want y'all to know I do send things. Moving on. Here it says, I have an amazing fiance who is smart, beautiful, and honest. I couldn't ask for more. We are getting married next year, and we're excited about the future we'll have together. However, I am struggling with something in regard to my fiancee. She has noticeable facial hair. I don't know how to talk to her about it. I know saying something would hurt her feelings, which is something I want to avoid. What's the best way to go about saying something without sounding like a jerk treading lightly in Florida?

SPEAKER_01: 21:39

All right, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03: 21:40

Okay, so, well, first of all, I'm like, well, she's your fiance. So you went all this, I don't know how long their um dating or whatever engagement was. But my goodness, did she grow facial hair last night?

SPEAKER_01: 21:57

I was about to say, it depends. He needs to check the moon. If it's full moon, then maybe she just grew some.

SPEAKER_03: 22:04

Okay, listen. No. So that was my first question. Like, why does now the facial hair bother you? That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01: 22:14

Based off the moon side.

SPEAKER_03: 22:15

Oh my gosh. Is that a real save? That's your book, exactly. That little book about vampire size.

SPEAKER_01: 22:22

The secret world of Maggie Gray.

SPEAKER_03: 22:24

Okay. We're talking about the real world. Hey. Not the um looking at everybody different. Not fantasy. So if she has facial hair, I don't, I don't understand.

SPEAKER_01: 22:42

He said notice, but now he didn't say, like, you know, because every, you know, women do have a little bit. But when you got them ones, like them old uh women that I knew in the grow in my neighborhood and they had them little curls on the side right there, looking like the men off of uh Monopoly. They got them little curly mustache on the side of their lip. And occasional little chest hairs.

SPEAKER_03: 23:03

The point to me is.

SPEAKER_01: 23:05

That's too much.

SPEAKER_03: 23:07

Did she just grow the facial hair or has she always had the facial hair?

SPEAKER_01: 23:12

Times are tough, so maybe she can't afford the laser the laser stuff anymore.

SPEAKER_03: 23:17

Well, it's not laser. Because usually when you get lasers, it's gone, gone. It'll come back. That's why they keep getting it. No, usually laser is gone, gone.

SPEAKER_01: 23:26

Forever.

SPEAKER_03: 23:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 23:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 23:28

I work with um some of the ladies have had that and they don't grow hair in certain places anymore.

SPEAKER_01: 23:34

Okay. Well, maybe she's doing waxing, and then waxing is uh is tight. Money is tight.

SPEAKER_03: 23:39

Yeah, waxing, yes, because she may need to get it waxed again. But this is what I'm saying. If we have been dating.

SPEAKER_00: 23:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 23:52

And we didn't got to where you didn't ask to marry me. At this point, I think, oh, how amazing that I have found a man who is okay with my facial hair.

SPEAKER_01: 24:05

Oh, when we wouldn't even be that far.

SPEAKER_03: 24:07

Exactly. That's the problem. He had gotten that far because let me tell you what somebody did to me. Now I had it wasn't excessive facial hair. But y'all know when we used to like arch our eyebrows and kind of thin. What I do. So when he and I were dating.

SPEAKER_01: 24:31

And I think it was quite commendable what I did.

SPEAKER_03: 24:35

When we were dating, he noticed that, like, without me having them filled in or drawn in. Oh, her eyebrows are quite thin and not much hair. They were different. Is there? They were different.

SPEAKER_01: 24:52

Because I came to pick you up on time, but you were still getting ready.

SPEAKER_03: 24:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 24:57

And so when you open the door, it wasn't the same person opening the door as the same person that closed the door last time I saw it. Oh my gosh. So that's what it was. It shot it uh not shocked me, but I ain't even gonna say caught me by surprise. It just uh it kind of like enlightened me that there were more looks to what I have seen before.

SPEAKER_03: 25:20

So he didn't you didn't say anything then, but maybe I don't know, a little while in he says Kahari, come get Cinnabon. I texted him. I don't think he wants to be bothered.

SPEAKER_01: 25:36

Yeah, that ain't no choice.

SPEAKER_03: 25:38

Well, I'm just telling you. I texted him.

SPEAKER_01: 25:40

Who do you know who house he's in?

SPEAKER_03: 25:41

And he didn't respond to my text message.

SPEAKER_01: 25:44

Is his girlfriend? I don't know. I tell her to come get it.

SPEAKER_03: 25:48

Yeah, I don't have her number. Her number, she has a new number. She does. Okay. It's not new though. I mean, it's it's it's it's changed for a while. Anyways, um, so he said to me, um, have you ever thought about growing your eyebrows out? I said, What's wrong with my eyebrows? He said, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, nothing, nothing. I just asked the question. I mean, nothing at all. I've just you know, I was just thinking, had you ever thought of that just to fill them in a little bit more?

SPEAKER_01: 26:28

What I was saying was, because she she draws them. So I've known women to them.

SPEAKER_03: 26:36

I didn't draw the whole thing.

SPEAKER_01: 26:37

Yeah, but see, I I've known women to cut them and then draw them right back where they was growing.

SPEAKER_03: 26:42

But mine don't grow like that.

SPEAKER_01: 26:43

But I didn't know that. That's why I asked, I was like, have you ever thought to grow them out? You know, because she probably would have been like, Yeah, but I'm not good at trimming them the way I want to. I just cut them and then I can draw better than I can trim.

SPEAKER_03: 26:54

So my eyebrows grow really like different. That's all. So I did, though, let them grow out to get them as natural as I wanted them to be. But my the end of like my eyebrows grow here, then they there's a part, and then they grow like here. So if you arch them with the hair here, it kind of makes your eye look like it's going down. And I wanted to like it's going up. So, anyways, at first I was a little bit offended.

SPEAKER_01: 27:24

No, sorry, I didn't mean to.

SPEAKER_03: 27:28

Um, but you know that thing where they say people had what did they say on TikTok or the things you had eyebrow, or I can't think of what the phrase that they say, but somebody should have told me a long time ago. So, anywho, at first I was a bit offended, but then I was like, whoa, well, I guess they do look better with me, girl on the mouth. And so all of that to say, he did not tell me that once we were engaged, it was something we talked about when we were dating. When we were dating. So why in the world you go all the time and get engaged to this lady, and now you got a problem with a facial hair.

SPEAKER_01: 28:14

But maybe she didn't have the facial hair till they got engaged. She probably said, Oh, he got me now. Oh, so she didn't just let herself go. Yes. Love me for me now. Oh I got him.

SPEAKER_03: 28:25

Well, you shouldn't do that. You know how people do that stuff. Yeah, they too.

SPEAKER_01: 28:28

People hide crazy until they get engaged. They hide their intentions until they get engaged, until they get married. Oh, I only wanted the money. I got him now.

SPEAKER_00: 28:37

Divorce, give me half.

SPEAKER_01: 28:41

So I'm just saying, who knows? But hey, like if if you out there, I I don't mean to offend you, if you out there with, you know, uh, you know, getting a lineup at the barbershop or whatever. I understand you probably can't control that um as a woman. But um I I just couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_03: 29:06

Yeah, I just think he should have said so. He could still say something about it. Maybe he can even offer to pay for her waxing if if that's what it's feasible, if it's in their budget.

SPEAKER_01: 29:17

But he could be like, yo, I got you.

SPEAKER_03: 29:19

She could also say, I'm I'm okay with my facial hair.

SPEAKER_01: 29:24

Yeah, leave me alone.

SPEAKER_03: 29:26

Leave me alone.

SPEAKER_01: 29:26

Or she could say, Hey, I just want to warn you. On the full moon, I grow whiskers, I grow, I grow a mustache like the the the two twin brothers from the group The Whispers. That thick mustache.

SPEAKER_03: 29:42

And I go to dinner with witches, vampires, and sirens.

SPEAKER_01: 29:46

Yeah, I grow a face, a facial bush.

SPEAKER_03: 29:49

You know, well, and then people and that's also like men have to know when women get older, sometimes facial hair comes and they didn't. So maybe something happened, and over time it just. Just started growing.

SPEAKER_01: 30:01

Yeah, you gotta learn how to treat it. Take care of it.

SPEAKER_03: 30:04

Yeah. So, but he has to say something. Hopefully, that lady did not have facial hair way before now, and he just saying something.

SPEAKER_01: 30:12

Yeah, thought he could tolerate it, and then it's like, you know what? I just need her out. It's your facial hair. Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03: 30:20

And he said she's beautiful.

unknown: 30:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 30:24

Well.

SPEAKER_01: 30:25

I mean, I've seen some, I've seen some beautiful women with some facial hair, but then it immediately makes them start looking like Lana Richie. Oh my god. Oh, she's beautiful. Then you get up closer and you see the little cat whiskers, and you be like, oh.

SPEAKER_03: 30:42

Well, I mean, he can tell her, but he should have told her way before engagement. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01: 30:52

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_03: 30:52

That's not right.

SPEAKER_01: 30:53

It's not right. Mm-mm. But I don't know. But he probably didn't know if it was before engagement. And she just started letting herself go. That's not right. That's not right. Mm-mm. Okay. Anything else you want to read? You had?

SPEAKER_03: 31:09

Yes, I do have another. I'm not going to read this whole thing. I'm going to kind of summarize.

SPEAKER_01: 31:13

What does it say? Give me the title.

SPEAKER_03: 31:15

Man says he's willing to end his marriage after argument with his wife about her plans to uproot the kids. Mm. So a man, I don't know where they are. They didn't say where they are.

SPEAKER_02: 31:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 31:32

But this man is on the verge of ending his marriage to avoid moving his children ages 11 and 9 to another state. His wife revealed, he revealed that his wife wants to move the family to be close to her teenage children from a previous relationship. Okay. Says we're both committed to the best interest of our individual children, and that means doing what's right for them, even if it's not right for us as a couple. So the kids don't want to move.

SPEAKER_00: 32:10

Right.

SPEAKER_03: 32:12

They like their life where they are, but their mom wants them to be close to the half-siblings.

SPEAKER_01: 32:21

Wonder why she wants that.

SPEAKER_03: 32:22

And she wants to be closer, I guess, to her own the other set of children.

SPEAKER_01: 32:28

Yeah. Like, because why she don't have custody of her children?

SPEAKER_03: 32:33

Yeah. Why does she not have custody of them? That's a good question.

SPEAKER_01: 32:38

And um, why is it is it she, you know, do the man, are they living real good? And now she like, let's go there so that my daughter can reap some of these benefits. And I can flaunt it in front of my ex. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03: 32:57

She says, um, he told her he's not doing it, the move.

SPEAKER_01: 33:03

Put your foot down, Jack.

SPEAKER_03: 33:05

Um, he says he feel um he says, my wife doesn't want to be away from her kids for long periods of time. And she has told me she's moving. She feels like she needs to be near her kids. I support this, but I won't move my kids away from family, friends, and stability to do this. My kids don't want to move either. Then the kids told him they overheard their mama talking about the relocation and that she already has made plans to move. Even though he said he's not. He says he thinks she thinks he's gonna change his mind.

SPEAKER_01: 33:44

What?

SPEAKER_03: 33:45

But he says he's not.

SPEAKER_01: 33:47

So then I wonder, are the kids her kids that she's living with now or just his?

SPEAKER_03: 33:52

Mm-mm. They're hers. Because she said they want to be close to their brothers and sisters. They're they're siblings.

SPEAKER_01: 33:57

But so she has kids with him? But that's what I'm saying. I wasn't sure. Like, she didn't really. I mean, she can say brothers and sisters, you'd be stepbrothers.

SPEAKER_03: 34:06

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01: 34:07

Those are those are her children too. Yeah, when you say the kids, it sounds like like because then he said, My kids don't want to go, and the kids say her kids don't know.

SPEAKER_03: 34:17

He said our kids.

SPEAKER_01: 34:19

Okay, our kids. But then she said.

SPEAKER_03: 34:23

He says, our kids don't want to go.

SPEAKER_01: 34:25

And um But what did he say she said? She said about her kids. She don't want her kids to be away from their brothers and sisters. Then she said, didn't you say that?

SPEAKER_03: 34:37

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01: 34:37

Yeah. You see what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03: 34:39

Because the 16 and 17 year olds are hers, not his.

SPEAKER_01: 34:43

But I thought you said he just had one child that was over there. He's just really.

SPEAKER_03: 34:48

No, he's has two kids that are 11 and 9, and she has a 15 and 16-year-old with her ex.

SPEAKER_01: 34:55

I just heard one child over there with the ex. Okay. Well, it's gonna be a tough one. She lived without her kids before. She probably gets ready to move over there and live with our D's, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 35:08

Yeah, it says She's gonna be used to it.

SPEAKER_01: 35:12

Cabetta said he ain't going nowhere.

SPEAKER_03: 35:14

Oh, wait, that's wrong. I'm wrong. You're right. Says the dad explained that he has two kids, 11 and 9, from a previous relationship, while his wife shares a 15 or 16-year-old with her ex. So they each have their own set of kids.

SPEAKER_02: 35:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 35:36

And he said that his children lost their mom when they were younger. So she has been like the mom there, she is like a mom for them. But she's not their biological mom because they don't have a mom.

SPEAKER_01: 35:49

Yeah, definitely I was into those little words.

SPEAKER_03: 35:52

How they were saying we and she and our and her and well then that kind of makes sense because I mean, even though I can see why he would want to uproot his kids from their family, because maybe their mom's family is there. Everybody's probably there. His family is there.

SPEAKER_01: 36:11

But they've grown to love.

SPEAKER_03: 36:12

But they've grown to love, and then to take them and move them to the streets.

SPEAKER_01: 36:16

Because they're 15, 16. Yeah. So that's just for three years.

SPEAKER_03: 36:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 36:20

You're only gonna be because those kids, if they go to college, they're gone. Yeah. So you're just gonna move with them for three years that you've missed however many years of these kids' life, you know. So it's like you want to just be on the last part of their life. And who's to say they even accept all of y'all?

SPEAKER_03: 36:36

And and I'm still the same with you. How come she doesn't have her kids?

SPEAKER_02: 36:42

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03: 36:42

Why did she leave her kids with the daddy if she wanted to be with them so bad?

SPEAKER_01: 36:48

Yeah. Yeah. What brought that on? So that's why I said she can ready to lose buddy.

SPEAKER_03: 36:55

Yeah, so he said he's divorcing her because he's not going to move his kids or live or them to be living separate lives where she's there with her kids and he's And he already wrote it, wrote the letter.

SPEAKER_01: 37:10

So he done contemplated, should I even write the letter?

SPEAKER_03: 37:12

Mm-hmm. But he was trying to get the opinions of others.

SPEAKER_01: 37:15

Yeah, he done already wrote it. He he knows what he's gonna do. He's gonna he's gonna leave.

SPEAKER_03: 37:20

I mean, what would you say?

SPEAKER_01: 37:21

Because the added part when he said he already heard the kids say they heard that she's making a plan. So oh, okay, so she don't want to hear nothing I gotta say anyway. Yeah, that's true. You know what? All right, go. Get on up out of here.

SPEAKER_03: 37:32

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01: 37:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 37:33

And then when his kids don't want to either, why would you do that to them?

SPEAKER_02: 37:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 37:39

And yeah, and even for him to find, he's gotta find a new job. They've got to like change up their whole life for like you said, for for 16-year-old got one has probably one more year, and then the 15-year-old two more years. So two really two years.

SPEAKER_01: 37:58

Yeah, yeah, two years, they they gone.

SPEAKER_03: 38:00

And they're gone, and you've uprooted, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 38:03

Your whole family, and then now your kids in Oregon, and one in New York, and you're in Wichita. Mm-hmm. With your same family that could have been in wherever they were before. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 38:15

And and he would have a lot of resentment towards her.

SPEAKER_01: 38:18

And the kids would have a lot of resentment towards her. Oh, yeah. Because now they said the very thing that you brought us to get close to is gone already. Mm-hmm. And now the friends we had, we starting all over with new friends, and we had friends for X amount of years.

SPEAKER_03: 38:32

And then on top of that, you there, I'm sorry, but being a a mama to kids that aren't your kids and your kid, your real kid somewhere else. That's just trifling.

SPEAKER_01: 38:45

Yeah, it's it's a it's a problem something, you know.

SPEAKER_03: 38:48

It sounds like she might be.

SPEAKER_01: 38:49

Unless she's tried, unless she, whatever reason, she couldn't get her kids, and she's tried a lot to get her kids, and now it's finally they're like, I mean, she still don't have them, but at least she can move to the neighborhood.

SPEAKER_03: 39:00

I mean, but the thing about it was she should have stayed in the area.

SPEAKER_01: 39:04

Yeah, because those are not her kids. So she actually should have been like, I love my kids more than I love this man. Yeah. So I'm sorry, I I love you, but you know, these are what I've carried, so I have to find a life closer than them.

SPEAKER_03: 39:20

Mm-hmm. If they were important, she would have stayed in the area.

SPEAKER_01: 39:24

Yeah. The odds are in her favor to find another significant other before she finds two kids out of her womb.

SPEAKER_03: 39:35

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 39:36

To replace her own kids.

SPEAKER_03: 39:37

Yeah. So yeah. So she she didn't make uh a good choice from the j from the beginning. From the jump. She didn't she didn't put her her kids first. But it's a good one. And now she wants to put it put it put them first at I mean you we always pay you parent your kids, but in regards to them being minors, now you want to parent them when it's all. Yeah, when it's only two more years to parent. I mean, you know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 40:06

I put my stepkids first, and now I'm gonna leap over them and put my kids first. And so it's like then I'm gonna bring my hopefully my stepkids and my husband, you know, follow suit. It's diff that's difficult. Yeah, thank God I'm not in that situation.

SPEAKER_03: 40:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 40:24

But you know, yeah, that's crazy. Mm-hmm. All right. Let's go to the first email. This is some stuff I like to um I thought about, you know, because uh when you're dating, you know, people always have timelines, right? How long, you know, when you're dating someone before you can tell them you love them? How long dating someone before you can split 50-50 on the meal? Or how long before dating, before the woman could, you know, pay for the meal? Some of y'all out there say never, but shut up. Anyway, how long, whatever, you know what I'm saying? So those that's what some of those questions are. It should be if that if that is the first email that have come through.

SPEAKER_03: 41:15

Yeah. Um, it talks about the first one, it's about bodily boundaries.

SPEAKER_01: 41:23

Okay, what'd it say?

SPEAKER_03: 41:25

So, how long can you date someone before you poop in their bathroom?

SPEAKER_01: 41:36

Let's see, it took me, we didn't date long at all, but uh, it took me, oh Lord. It was it's probably two months before I pooped at your house. And I didn't want to. I think I got up in the middle of the night and went downstairs, pooped, and then one downstairs.

SPEAKER_03: 42:00

Oh.

SPEAKER_01: 42:01

Yeah. Yeah, because I wasn't gonna poop in your um the one in your room. And even when, like when you stayed with me, I would poop in the my guest bedroom. I wouldn't poop in my main bedroom where you were sleeping at.

SPEAKER_03: 42:16

I don't even recall when I pooped at your house.

SPEAKER_01: 42:18

Child, you probably pooped the first time you came over.

SPEAKER_03: 42:21

I maybe did because listen.

SPEAKER_01: 42:22

Because you was a pooper.

SPEAKER_03: 42:24

When you gotta poop, you gotta poop. However, I don't I don't even really recall. I don't even know if there is like I don't even know if there is a specific time or would I not? I don't think if it were if I were on a first date, I don't think I'd poop in somebody's house on the first date.

SPEAKER_01: 42:48

The first date. So what would you do if if you actually had to go and you like, oh Lord, I gotta, like, I really gotta poop. And it's the first date. I just would have to do it, but I bring you over to my house and we have like, I have like a nice dinner being cooked that I cook. Um, you know, we I mean, everything is set out, and all of a sudden you're just like, oh my God, why my stomach is tripping?

SPEAKER_03: 43:11

I just would have to go. I would try to hold it. I mean, I would really try to hold it. I mean, but if it's the point where I can't hold it, then I just have to go. Like, what am I doing? Doodle on myself.

SPEAKER_01: 43:21

I'm just saying, would you but some people would leave, they would cut the date short.

SPEAKER_03: 43:24

How would I leave?

SPEAKER_01: 43:25

Yeah, some people would cut the date short.

SPEAKER_03: 43:27

No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't leave. I just would poop.

SPEAKER_01: 43:31

And then some people would say, Oh, I need to, I know guys, I've heard guys say, I'll be right back. I'm gonna run to the store. I wanted to grab something else. I'm so sorry. And then they go and use the bathroom at like the gas station or the store or whatever the bathroom.

SPEAKER_03: 43:44

No, that is so weird. That has oh Lord. That I know it. That has never ever um happened to me. So I don't know. I've never had that um experience. I think I probably just would go and probably just like do the uh respectful flush as to not leave a stench, the courtesy flush, as to not leave a stench. But if I had to go that bad, but I don't know. I guess I've been pretty lucky of like first dates not having to. But also, most first dates aren't at someone's house.

SPEAKER_02: 44:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 44:28

Usually you go out to dinner or you go out to do something. So if you had to go, it wouldn't be a big deal.

SPEAKER_01: 44:36

Okay, first week.

SPEAKER_03: 44:38

Huh?

SPEAKER_01: 44:39

First week. It may not be, you know, we already had a first date.

SPEAKER_03: 44:42

I know I can't say. I've never, I cannot even recall.

SPEAKER_01: 44:45

Yeah. But I am meeting somebody from the first time at your friend's house, and then you at your friend's house be like, oh shoot, he's here. Oh girl, I can't poop in the bathroom right now.

SPEAKER_03: 44:54

I would.

SPEAKER_01: 44:55

I'm just one.

SPEAKER_03: 44:57

Oh no, no, I would. A friend's house too. It ain't his house. That's my friend.

SPEAKER_01: 45:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 45:02

So yeah, that wouldn't bother me at all.

SPEAKER_01: 45:04

No.

SPEAKER_03: 45:04

Uh-uh. I believe in if you got to go, you go because if you hold it.

SPEAKER_01: 45:10

You mold it.

SPEAKER_03: 45:13

If you hold it, then you might lose your opportunity.

SPEAKER_01: 45:17

Yeah, that's true. And then nothing like having uh wanting to go and then you can't go because you held it too long. Now you're gonna leave.

SPEAKER_03: 45:26

And pooping is important to me. It's important to me too. It just, you know, like I like to have a routine.

SPEAKER_01: 45:34

Yeah, you do. And for me, coffee, pre-workout, or shopping.

SPEAKER_03: 45:40

Oh, yeah, shopping.

SPEAKER_01: 45:42

It's gonna do it. We start talking about shopping a lot. Oh, we oh, I gotta use bathroom. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_03: 45:50

That is a fact, Jack.

SPEAKER_01: 45:52

So what about uh passing gas around somewhere?

SPEAKER_03: 45:56

Nah, I don't think.

SPEAKER_01: 45:57

I don't that's we know we know somebody.

SPEAKER_03: 46:02

My daddy.

SPEAKER_01: 46:02

No.

SPEAKER_03: 46:03

Oh my daddy does not care.

SPEAKER_01: 46:05

What my my brother and his brother and his wife, what they say, they to this day they don't.

SPEAKER_03: 46:12

Oh yeah, they don't poop in front of each other.

SPEAKER_01: 46:14

Not poop in front of each other.

SPEAKER_03: 46:15

I mean, not poop, but they don't they won't poot. They'll leave the room or go to the bathroom or now listen, up in this house.

SPEAKER_01: 46:24

Dangerous.

SPEAKER_03: 46:25

Everybody.

SPEAKER_01: 46:26

Dangerous.

SPEAKER_03: 46:28

Everybody.

SPEAKER_01: 46:29

Dangerous.

SPEAKER_03: 46:30

Oh there, you that also is uncomfortable holding in a poot. You're not supposed to do that, but you do it in other places to be respectable. Respectable. No, I'm respectful.

SPEAKER_01: 46:47

If I would have had my um my um septoplasty probably at the beginning of our marriage, I probably would have divorced her.

SPEAKER_03: 46:56

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01: 46:57

Because after I got my septoplasty this at the beginning of the year, right? Yeah. No, never no, was it last last year? Oh my God. I because I can smell everything now. I'm talking about fresh smell, everything. Thank God for that. Um for my deviated self-nick. Who hooked it up? He got it broken, something like that. Never knew. But anyway, I can smell everything. And now, ooh.

SPEAKER_03: 47:21

Listen, all I'm saying is that, so now on dating somebody, I can't say when I would feel comfortable passing gas. That may be a while. So I I would hold it in.

SPEAKER_01: 47:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 47:36

Um, is what I would do. It would be a little while before I would feel comfortable.

SPEAKER_01: 47:41

But I I do know that I was the the uh I uh I'm gonna say break the broke the ice. I broke the gas around us, and and I noticed that same probably 20 minutes later, and somebody, ooh, excuse me. And she was like, oh, thank God he probably pooted around me. Been having all these spoots in me. But uh yeah, my brother said he don't do it around his wife, and they've been married uh long as us. Yeah, 22 years also. What please? They stomach probably all bowls.

SPEAKER_03: 48:13

I can't even imagine. I mean, listen, that is, I mean, putin' is a natural thing.

SPEAKER_01: 48:20

Remember when when uh you were pregnant and all the little pregnant uh poops? Oh my lord, they were so bad. And so I just got and I couldn't do nothing. So remember, was the uh I I got and I put it on the other side of the fan. Oh so she had she was bedridden, she had bed, she was on bed rest. And so I just was like, oh, you know, I'm I'm finna let us, I'm gonna give her a taste of own medicine. And so she had to sleep with like the fan on the box fan. So I put it on the other side of the fan. I knew it was gonna stink too.

SPEAKER_02: 48:54

And then also you just heard the oh god, good, oh my god.

SPEAKER_03: 49:02

And that is not fair because those were hormonal poots from pregnancy. I did not have control over that. I did not do that on purpose.

SPEAKER_01: 49:12

Hey, I didn't have control, something was inside of my body. Something got in my body and just said, poo in the fan. And I did it. I had to. All right, give me another one.

SPEAKER_03: 49:25

Okay, just see.

SPEAKER_01: 49:28

Because I think it's like categories, too.

SPEAKER_03: 49:30

Yeah, I'm gonna go to a different category. All right. All right, the comfort zone.

SPEAKER_00: 49:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 49:37

Um, okay, this is a good one. When is it okay to wear well, this is not really a good one for us. Okay. When is it okay to wear sweatpants or no makeup around your partner?

SPEAKER_01: 49:58

Yeah, for me, it was, you know.

SPEAKER_03: 50:00

That was your uniform.

SPEAKER_01: 50:01

Yeah, that was that's how I dress. You know, I'm P teaching pussy. Even if I wasn't, I'm gonna wear what I want to wear. Um I like sweatpants. That's oh my God, that's that's the best thing you could buy me is some wide-legg sweatpants oversized. Um, and then for a woman to not wear makeup around me, it's not an issue. I don't mind if a woman wears makeup. The only problem I have is for if a woman that has makeup is that if it gets all over my clothes. You know what I'm saying? Like old people, every time they would kiss you and you had all that rouge on your shirt or I mean on your on your when they hug you, and then you got old folks right there and have that. That's that's the only problem. But I don't care if you wear makeup, I don't care if you wear a lot of makeup. Um, I mean, as long as it's not caked up makeup, but I'm fine. No makeup, no hair, I don't care. As long as you're comfortable around me, and we good to go.

SPEAKER_03: 51:04

Yeah. I mean, it doesn't matter to me about wearing or makeup. Now I do want to look if you're taking a picture of me, I do want to look presentable.

SPEAKER_01: 51:15

And you know, I don't take pictures, because even when I you look presentable when I take a picture, you don't like it. That's why I don't take pictures. Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_03: 51:22

I don't think I get I think my mama has um made me that way. Should I say?

SPEAKER_01: 51:27

Or when I take pictures of you, it's like you'll say, Oh, take a picture of me. And then I'm like, okay, cool. So then I don't I take a picture how you want to take it, but then how do what would I also do?

SPEAKER_03: 51:38

Do it uh can't or what is it?

SPEAKER_01: 51:41

Candid photo. Candid photo. Because I want to see you how I see you. And that's what makes me say that you're that's that's where I see the beauty. It's when you're not trying to pose to look beautiful and make a face and make a thing. Cause I think that you're beautiful in your natural aura. So when when I'm saying, okay, oh, so today is a good day to take pictures. So those are the pictures that I like to take. And those are the ones that like I put on my screensaver on my phone, or I just lick, you know, keep saving them. Or those are ones that I send to you and be like, oh, that is a good picture. And I like, yeah. You know, let it ride. See you through my lens. But I like I like when you when you uh have on a good pair of sweats, uh, you know, sweats, uh, uh, an old t-shirt with no bra. Oh man and the sweats a little a little a little low. Predict. No, no. I'm talking about me. Oh, you pregnant. Yeah, it might get pregnant. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03: 52:48

So, yeah, I don't, I mean, I don't think that there's like um there's never that's not been a time frame for me. Yeah. I like comfy. Um don't do nothing days with sweats and a t-shirt and and yeah, no makeup and just I mean, oftentimes that is how I prefer to spend my weekend, to be honest. This guy likes to get out and about. So if we get out and about, then I have to get dressed.

SPEAKER_01: 53:20

Child, we out and about. I got on sweats, t-shirt, and tennis shoes.

SPEAKER_03: 53:24

Yes, but I don't get dressed dressed, but I still have to have a certain presentable.

SPEAKER_01: 53:30

She don't have to, she feels like she needs to.

SPEAKER_03: 53:34

I do. I just feel like I just need to be presentable. It is not anything extra.

SPEAKER_01: 53:38

And she's still presentable.

SPEAKER_03: 53:40

It's not anything extra, but I just feel like I have to be presentable. So, but for me, being at home and like you said, in sweats, t-shirt, no bra, that. She could go to the like that all weekend.

SPEAKER_01: 53:57

She could go to the store, like she said, she could go to the store with t-shirt. I got to put a bra on. I mean, if she wants to put a bra on, I don't mind. Cause, hey. I don't mind. But she could have on the sweats. She could, if she worried about her hair, she could put on a ball cap. I got plenty of caps. Days like that when she's just like the I don't give her mentality is is like is even sexier because then she's like, let's go. It's it's it's brave. If she's like, boom, this okay, here I am, you know. So I mean, but that's just me. That is just you, but I take her any way she's comfortable with being taken. Oh Lord, but you know, I just want her to feel real comfortable that she can do that.

SPEAKER_03: 54:44

I know I can. I know how you would prefer for me to go out throwing a belt and do it that way.

SPEAKER_01: 54:49

No, I wanna, I don't, like I said, I it's either or, but you it's it's not a big I mean it is it is a big deal for you.

SPEAKER_03: 54:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 55:00

But to me, and I'm and this is just me talking, I'm never saying, well, you ain't hurt. No, it's not, well, it's not It's not a big deal, is what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03: 55:07

No, it's not also a big deal to me. If I'm just going to the grocery store around the corner, I will do that. I don't have to get dressed, dressed to go to the grocery store. If we're gonna go out and have a few errands to run, then I know we're probably gonna stop and get something to eat, where I know it's gonna be like multiple places that I'm gonna get presentable.

SPEAKER_01: 55:32

Okay, for example.

SPEAKER_03: 55:33

I'm gonna get presentable.

SPEAKER_01: 55:34

You don't have to worry about your eyes because you got them, what you call, 3D'd or whatever.

SPEAKER_03: 55:38

I got um micro, what is it called?

SPEAKER_01: 55:41

I don't know, child. 3D.

SPEAKER_03: 55:43

Micro needling, like my eyebrows. I got my eyebrows uh permanently.

SPEAKER_01: 55:48

Okay, so that eliminates a lot of time.

SPEAKER_03: 55:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 55:52

Alright, so like you there'll be days when you say, uh, okay, look, we just gonna go. I'm gonna put on a quick lip and let's go. When she just put on her little quick lip, man. Like it to the to the naked eye. Like, and I know she ha I know how she looks with makeup and without makeup, but to me, honestly, she don't look any different. You know what I mean? It's still beautiful. That's what I'm saying. Like you can have makeup and your makeup could be a 10. So, ooh, girl, that makeup was bomb. But then you can have a quick lip on. And I'm still looking at you like, that's my wife right there. That's my wife. You know what I mean? It's like, but I know it's your personal preference. But I just want you to understand that if you have to go out, people will still see you and be like, oh my God, she's beautiful. You know? So just you know.

SPEAKER_03: 56:52

I also don't like to be limited because this guy will take you, we'll go someplace, and then we'll end up someplace that we were not expecting to be. And then if we want to go eat at a certain place, I also want to be presentable for certain.

SPEAKER_01: 57:05

I'm not gonna take you to eat nowhere where you can't where you're expecting to be able to do it. No, not even like for But you're still gonna be presentable, girl. You still gonna look good.

SPEAKER_03: 57:13

Okay, all right, moving on.

SPEAKER_01: 57:16

Tele TV land, they T or Phone Land.

SPEAKER_03: 57:19

I was gonna say they TV land or radio land.

SPEAKER_01: 57:22

Land land. Yeah. Give me a nerd one.

SPEAKER_03: 57:25

Okay. Um, we don't know about this, so this we'll have to use. Let's go. We don't know about a lot of stuff, but we talked about it. Let's go. Come on. We'll have to use other people's. Come on. All right. When can you post them on social media without it being in quotations too soon?

SPEAKER_01: 57:49

That's I mean, when we had social media, sometimes you still have to be like, ah, don't post that. I'm post so you gotta kind of know.

SPEAKER_03: 58:01

When can you post them?

SPEAKER_01: 58:02

But it's still it's couples that don't like they the other don't post them. Like, you don't post me. Well, that is true. There are couples that way.

SPEAKER_03: 58:10

That is true. Why why do you think they just have that private maybe?

SPEAKER_01: 58:16

Yeah, they're private.

SPEAKER_03: 58:17

And they've married somebody who isn't as private, maybe an introvert and extrovert.

SPEAKER_01: 58:21

Yeah. Or maybe somebody don't you uh and oh what? Like you told me don't post because you didn't approve of the picture. Why'd you post that picture? I don't like that picture. Take that.

SPEAKER_03: 58:34

This just means the person over here.

SPEAKER_01: 58:35

But I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_03: 58:36

Yes, if there's a certain picture, I don't like it.

SPEAKER_01: 58:38

But if it's a couple or dater people, I would say that the limit depends on the other person. Like it has to be all the time. Like if I want to, if I if I go out on a date, say, hey, first date, is that too soon?

SPEAKER_03: 59:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 59:04

But think about it. But yeah, maybe for you. But what if you are a person that's out there and you're telling your people, yeah, I'm trying something new. I'm trying to, I want to go on this first date, y'all, and let's see what happens. You know how people are kind of not necessarily influencer, but their life is already in the media, right? And so they go out on this date. Oh, sorry, okay. And they want to share it with their whoever their followers are, other people, because oh, everybody's, you know, my family out there, internet family. And you say you want to post it um, shoot, the next day. Mm-hmm. Will that be too soon? It depends on the other person. Because he may be cool or she may be cool with it.

SPEAKER_03: 59:49

Yeah, I guess every I guess thinking about being careful with it is like everybody has their own version of what a date means. Right. So we could go on a date, but for some people, a date is just a date. And then for some people, like, ooh, they dating.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:08

No, like But you can't worry about all that. I mean, you can't.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:12

So I think that's why people are so like cautious about when to post or what, because once you do that, then you're giving room for public opinion.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:25

But if you and the person Perception and public opinion. You are a poster.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:31

And you want to post a person. What are you going to do? You're going to ask them, can I post you?

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:36

Yeah, I would ask.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:38

And then I would ask the person if I wanna, if I were, if I was gonna post them or felt like I wanted to. But personally, for me, if I were dating.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:47

When would you say?

SPEAKER_03: 1:00:48

Um, I would not post anybody until uh we were official, like, like dating. Like a boyfriend, girlfriend, one-on-one. I wouldn't post them till then because this is what I'll say I've done before. Because I've known people that I went to college with or high school or whatever. One week they they keep posting people and then you like, girl, what I mean, my goodness, where are all the people, you know, like it just it's just too much. And it's it's like really no point in it. It's almost like it'll be almost like if you meet somebody and you think, oh, this might be a friend, and you're like, Y'all look, I might have a new friend. I'm post my new, my possible new friend. Like, so it's just it's just too much.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:40

So so if you're dating multiple people, should you date them in public? I mean in private? What do you mean? So let's say you're you're in your dating phase and you may have four dates this week.

SPEAKER_03: 1:01:51

I think as long I don't so you're gonna post all the people?

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:54

No, you're saying don't post them. So I'm saying, but if you're dating four people, yeah, should I date them, make sure I'm dating them where everybody is not gonna see me because I don't want them to say, what are you doing? This is your you dating all these people.

SPEAKER_03: 1:02:08

I think if you're dating, I think if you're like openly dating and you're dating four people, it is fair for all those people to know that you aren't with, you know, I'm not exclusively dating you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:23

But I'm saying you when you said them posting people, who are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:30

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:31

You said so if you're posting all these pictures of you of you dating, all these people, who who were you talking about when you're saying, girl, what are you doing? What is going on?

SPEAKER_03: 1:02:39

Oh, just your I guess it would be the people that are that are your friends or following you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:43

Okay, so those same people that are friends or following you, that friends maybe in the neighborhood, friends out in the public, and they see you on an on another date. I just saw you, you know, you're in a college town, everybody's out every night. So four nights in a row, you're on a you're on a date with a different person. Should I date? Uh if I'm going out on a f uh a date with a different person, should I go somewhere where I'm hopefully not gonna see the same people? Because what's the difference in them seeing me in person? Because you're not gonna see all them.

SPEAKER_03: 1:03:19

You're not gonna see all however many followers you have of people when you go out on a date with somebody. I mean, that's just that's just different. And to me, I guess it is I guess it just depends on who you are and how you post. Um and if you're a person who posts a lot and your entire life, then maybe that wouldn't seem odd to people.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:52

I guess also it's you gotta understand who am I dating for? Am I dating for other people? Am I dating for you and I?

SPEAKER_03: 1:03:57

Well, if that's the case, then why everybody got to know?

SPEAKER_01: 1:04:00

I don't know about it. It's a lot of stuff that we a lot of stuff that I post for.

SPEAKER_03: 1:04:04

Why why do why would you need to post every every person you go on a date with? Why?

SPEAKER_01: 1:04:10

I don't know. Well, exactly.

SPEAKER_03: 1:04:12

Why do you need to do that?

SPEAKER_01: 1:04:14

Why do you need to post anything?

SPEAKER_03: 1:04:16

Well, for some posts are so I like to celebrate my family, and I like to people to see my family and some fun things that we did together because I think it's pretty cool, and I want other people to see some of the fun things. I want people to see, oh, it was my birthday. Look how fun, much fun I had on my birthday. It was a good time. Share my joy.

SPEAKER_01: 1:04:42

Look, it's my birthday. Share my joy. Look, I'm out on a date. It's my birthday week. I'm a Capricorn.

SPEAKER_03: 1:04:48

Well, we're going to have to agree to disagree. I don't think you need to post every person you're dating with that.

SPEAKER_01: 1:04:56

We just disagreed.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:00

No.

SPEAKER_03: 1:05:01

Anyways, what y'all think? You go on a date, you need to post everybody you dating. That's dumb. Okay. Don't do that. Don't do that. Also, don't go dating somebody for a whole year and you out on vacations or out to dinner, and we know it's somebody on the other side because you want us to know you out on a date, but then you're like you holding the camera. You never show the person. Like, then don't show a picture of that event. Cause maybe they want us to be like, ooh, who they with. Maybe that's the reason for the post. That's the thing. They want us to say that.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:41

That's part of it too. And the other part is that person just don't want you to know their business.

SPEAKER_03: 1:05:49

But they want you to know they're out to dinner. Yeah. But don't know with I'm not telling you with who.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:05:56

To each his own. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:58

Look at this trip I'm on. We know you're on it with somebody, but they just want you to see them on the trip.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:05

I think a trip is fine. But I think it's kind of weird when you're like at dinner and then But a trip is the same thing.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:12

You in you in Paris. Oh, that's true, I guess. All the way in Paris.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:16

Well, not I'm not talking, I'm talking about a dinner at Chili's.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:24

Yeah, if it's not if it's not a view from the like this, and but the view is always you holding the burger with both hands. Or you see the glass cheering.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:37

Or you can see a little bit of a shadow.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:38

Yeah. Or you just see the another glass touching your glass because you're toasting. Yeah. And we're like, come on now.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:46

Who you with?

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:47

Yeah. Well, but that's hey.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:50

But that is it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:51

To each your song.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:52

To each your song. That that you do what you do, boo-boo.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:06:56

So okay.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:58

But I mean, it's sad that you got a person that don't want that don't want to be seen with you.

SPEAKER_03: 1:07:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:04

Because if I'm with you, you better show.

SPEAKER_03: 1:07:07

Show me. Show me. That's what I say.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:10

Better show me.

SPEAKER_03: 1:07:11

You can't show me, brother. Then I know something.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:15

You supposed to want to show me off. You supposed to want to. It should be pictures where you got me in a headlock, put putting me in the picture. That's how much you should want to show me off. He's like, he is so good to me. I'm going to stick beside him.

SPEAKER_03: 1:07:30

Stick beside him.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:07:32

Okay. The staying over round. Okay. When can you sleep over and actually stay till morning? Not the leave at 2 a.m. version.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:51

Oh, I thought you were talking to somebody else. I thought you was trying to tell them folks. We don't do the spin the nights.

SPEAKER_03: 1:08:00

We don't do the spinning nights in the sound.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:02

We don't do the spending nights over here.

SPEAKER_03: 1:08:04

But when we were dating, I it doesn't. I don't. I guess there are people that have rules.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:16

Yeah, I grew up in those rules.

SPEAKER_03: 1:08:18

No, I'm not talking, I'm talking, we ain't talking about.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:20

So we no, we don't do the spending nights at our house. Um but uh I would say, um, shoot.

SPEAKER_03: 1:08:28

Yeah, like I that's what I was saying. I'm like, I wasn't um like you know, people have certain rules or when they were dating, like when somebody can stay the night or something.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:40

You got a one night stand, but that ain't dating. That's screwing. Sometimes they stay tonight.

SPEAKER_03: 1:08:46

Yeah. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:48

So I guess bring your bag though. What about bringing your bag? Because sometimes stay tonight, you just up to talking to the middle night and fall asleep on the couch.

SPEAKER_03: 1:08:55

When can you sleep over and actually stay till morning? I guess that would be more planned.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:59

Planned, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:09:00

Like a planned sleep over.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:02

Um I guess it also depends on how long have you known the person before dating.

SPEAKER_03: 1:09:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:08

You know what I mean? So let's just say if if you're just a date that, hey, my friends hooked this is our first date, okay, and then we go out on another date. I would say uh, because now you're talking on the phone, how comfortable do you feel with the person? Um, man, you never know. It could be the first week. It could be, you know, if you live in the name of if you run circles with everybody. Yeah, if you know them that way. If you know them well. But if it's a stranger, man, I say give it, I say give it a minute. If you met them online, if you met them on the app, uh man, I say give it a minute. You know, don't just go, you know, and be with them. Uh just staying at night because you can get caught up, and next thing you know, you never know where you're waking up at, you know.

SPEAKER_03: 1:09:52

Yeah, I've I forget all the new ways of dating that they have and options and that can be um scary. Or you get somebody that you can't get to leave.

SPEAKER_01: 1:10:01

Yeah, yeah. They squatting you how you let yourself out. I'm going to work. Next thing you know, you come back, all your stuff, the locks change, and they done got uh paperwork in their name and you don't have a house no more.

SPEAKER_03: 1:10:15

I'm certain that's probably happened to someone.

SPEAKER_01: 1:10:18

Yep.

SPEAKER_03: 1:10:19

So yeah, you just have to be um real careful. And I don't know, I think if I met somebody that was online or dating app, gosh, it'd be quite a few dates just out.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:10:35

Um, before I they even knew where I lived.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:38

Of course, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:10:39

Um, is what I would, I mean, that would just make me a little bit uncomfortable if if I had no other people who knew them or connections to make to my people.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:51

Very true.

SPEAKER_03: 1:10:52

You know, so um that would be so if I had to decide how many dates, and I don't think it is even about how many dates, I think it would have to go with my comfort and my gut and what my intuition says about this person and where I want, how far I want this thing to go with this specific like person, yeah, and whether or not um, because to me, a 2 a.m. I don't I don't know the difference. I mean, you could stay like as grown people, right in your own place.

SPEAKER_02: 1:11:33

Right.

SPEAKER_03: 1:11:33

You can stay, you could stay the night and leave at 7 in the morning, or you can leave at 2 a.m. So I mean, I don't know how to do it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:41

It just depends on when you get sleepy, because if I get sleepy, I don't know how different and I don't want you staying over the you know my house, then it's time for you to go.

SPEAKER_03: 1:11:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:50

You know, if I want if I ain't worried about you like being look, I ain't finna put you on the couch. I want to be in my bed by myself, so I don't want to be rude, so it's time to leave.

SPEAKER_03: 1:12:00

So do you think in this question they're saying it intimacy?

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:04

Like No, it just says stay in the night. Because you know, some people feel like they could just stay the night. They may be on a six-month rule but still stay the night with somebody. Let's just sit lay on the couch and cuddle. Cuddling is is not comfortable for the man anyway.

SPEAKER_03: 1:12:18

Cuddling is not comfortable for anybody.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:21

Well, you because you're having hot flashes.

SPEAKER_03: 1:12:23

I like to cuddle at the beginning.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:26

And we can cuddle, but then at some point we start cuddle, and then do you y'all don't know how how fast your arm goes to sleep when a uh uh I'll finna say an eight-pound head is on, but your head probably about six and a half pounds.

SPEAKER_03: 1:12:44

Yeah, lower it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:45

Yeah. When it's on your arm, it goes to sleep fast. So that's not comfortable. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03: 1:12:52

Yeah, so that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:53

Like, it's after it's it's But some people be like, I just want to cuddle.

SPEAKER_03: 1:12:57

Oh no, no. I'll cuddle for a little bit, but then when I'm ready to go to sleep, then I'm rolling over and I'm going to sleep.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:05

Or go home.

SPEAKER_03: 1:13:06

Or go home, whatever. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:07

If you're going to sleep, what's not.

SPEAKER_03: 1:13:09

Well, if you're going to sleep, yeah, you might as well just go on home.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:11

Might as well go home. Now, if you stay a long ways away, then you should already have made plans. If you stay a long ways away from me, and I know I don't want you staying over that night. So when it gets late, I'm gonna be like, okay, well, it's getting late. I'm gonna get on and get you on the road so you're not too tired. I'm gonna tell you that for real.

SPEAKER_03: 1:13:32

Because there will be people that play games.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:34

Oh, it's so tired. I can't feel like driving back on that road. I got some red bull in there. You want to get some red bull? That's what I'll do.

SPEAKER_03: 1:13:41

Yeah, they'll try to play that thing.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:13:43

I'm so tired, you want me to leave? Or or they might be like, oh, oh, I just had too many drinks.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:49

Drinks. Or the other you're trying to get rid of me. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:13:56

And is.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:57

And will.

SPEAKER_03: 1:13:58

Yes. So even for that, I think it's depending on you and how how you how comfortable you are. No, I'm thinking nowadays, like back when we were dating, it wasn't Uber wasn't a thing. I mean, you could call a taxi for somebody.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:14:11

But now you could just call somebody Uber. You had too much drinking.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14:13

Yeah, yeah, they live close by. Or call your Uber. Call your Uber. Yeah. You live close by, call your Uber.

SPEAKER_03: 1:14:20

Yeah. Call your Uber and get your get your little self-home.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14:23

For sure. For sure. Yeah. All right. So let's go ahead and wrap it up. Okay. Um, let's uh let's do side eye of the week.

SPEAKER_03: 1:14:33

All right. Um you have your side eye prepared?

SPEAKER_01: 1:14:36

My side eye is uh I I I uh it's it's about my job, so I'm not gonna do that because I don't know who listens and who doesn't listen. But uh uh I'm not a I'm not a I'm not a uh idiot. And I see things. Oh and I see things. You know what I'm saying? People try to play me, but they can't play me. Just understand, I see you. If you out there, or you if you listen or watch and you know somebody that knows somebody that know what they're doing, I'm I'm watching you. That's my side eye, for real. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:15:17

Now you watching people.

SPEAKER_01: 1:15:19

That's right. Yeah, but it's all good. It's all good.

SPEAKER_03: 1:15:24

I got two side eyes, and they're for my children.

SPEAKER_01: 1:15:27

Go ahead, side eye.

SPEAKER_03: 1:15:28

Okay, the one side eye is for as long as we have lived in this house.

SPEAKER_01: 1:15:39

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03: 1:15:40

Uh how many years is that?

SPEAKER_01: 1:15:43

Uh we're at four, is it 14? No. We got the house in 2013. So it's 2025, 12 years, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:15:52

12 years. Our trash has always been Monday. Monday.

SPEAKER_01: 1:15:59

Yeah. Well, take that back. The first was like uh the the first people the day I was like on a maybe Tuesday, I will say. But that was only for two years.

SPEAKER_03: 1:16:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 1:16:11

But I did it then because they were too little to even carry the trash.

SPEAKER_03: 1:16:14

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

unknown: 1:16:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 1:16:18

So we've lived uh ten years with the tra with the traffic. Trash. With the trash. Anyways, side-eye my child because he act like he cannot remember bringing that trash can around to the back on the Monday. So we got a strategy for him. We're not gonna say it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:16:38

No.

SPEAKER_03: 1:16:38

But we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:16:39

And we'll let you know. We'll let you know. Chances are it's gonna happen again.

SPEAKER_03: 1:16:43

Mm-hmm. So we got a plan for that. The other side eye, um, so Kimani came home.

SPEAKER_01: 1:16:48

We shared last time that he got to um um meet um one of the top one of the five black Somaliers.

SPEAKER_03: 1:16:58

Uh masters, master somaliers Somaliers in the world.

SPEAKER_01: 1:17:00

There's only five master somaliers. Black Master Somaliers.

SPEAKER_03: 1:17:03

Um, gosh, his name is Chris Gaither.

SPEAKER_01: 1:17:06

Yeah. Uh-huh. Chris Gaither.

SPEAKER_03: 1:17:07

Um, Morehouse grad um works for Brown Estate. Um, that's one of the first uh black-owned wineries in Napa. In Napa. There are more now, but they were one of the very first full full winery and venues.

SPEAKER_01: 1:17:24

So a lot of people may have the storefront, but they don't actually have like grow their own grapes and produce their own everything. But they do. Yeah, they produce, grow, sell, distribute everything.

SPEAKER_03: 1:17:35

So anywho, um Chris Gaither had an event. He had several events here in the Atlanta area. Um and so Kimani got a chance to go to one of the tasting events and to uh meet him and do all the things. So he came home Thursday.

SPEAKER_02: 1:17:50

Get inspired.

SPEAKER_03: 1:17:50

Get inspired. Yeah, he wants his goal is to be a master Somalier. Um, so anywho, he um came home Thursday. Um and then I was, you know, of course, sick and on Saturday. Um, I think it was Saturday that he left, right? Yeah, yes, and normally he stays with us till Sunday. So I'm giving him the side eye because he left on Saturday, and so I was like, oh, I guess.

SPEAKER_01: 1:18:16

Yeah, get back to relax.

SPEAKER_03: 1:18:18

I guess he's getting grown and that drive.

SPEAKER_01: 1:18:21

You know how we are sometimes. We go to our parents, yeah, and we were like, we should leave the day. That drive because we we anticipating that drive, and you want to go ahead and get home.

SPEAKER_03: 1:18:29

Yeah, so anywho, I felt like he left us a day early. Although it wasn't like much we could do because I probably was like, she laid up sick, dad's helped take care of her. Yeah, but I understand. Yeah, it wasn't probably a fun weekend. And Kahari worked all weekend because it was Talktoberfest. Yeah. And by his job, and they were busy. So, anyways, it wasn't a uh eventful weekend for him.

SPEAKER_01: 1:18:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_03: 1:18:53

But he had his event in his. Yeah, he had his event.

SPEAKER_01: 1:18:55

That's probably all it was. He wanted to pop in for his event and get up at it, which I perfectly understand.

SPEAKER_03: 1:19:00

Anyways, I'm side-eyeing him because he lives a little earlier. So, anyways, that those are my two side eyes.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:08

So, what are you grateful for? One thing you're grateful for to leave on positive notes?

SPEAKER_03: 1:19:12

Um, let's see. I'm grateful for feeling better.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:16

That's good.

SPEAKER_03: 1:19:17

Um, and grateful that it wasn't something, I mean, it still didn't feel good. Like the coffin was ridiculous, but um, just grateful for feeling better and didn't knock me all the way out. Like, I still even y'all did my run on those sick days. I just went in real quick, got it done real fast.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:37

Real quick.

SPEAKER_03: 1:19:38

What?

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:38

Uh Golden, uh I think yesterday was the day he had to end his street.

SPEAKER_02: 1:19:42

Why?

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:43

Because he has fluid on his knee. So our one of my coworkers, uh Douglas Golden, good friend of ours, has been running since COVID at least a mile. So that's what, five years? About five years every four or five years, something like that. Every single day. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03: 1:20:00

Wow, that's a long time ago. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:20:01

And so yesterday he had to break his street because he uh his knee was hurting real, real bad. And like, and I'm talking about he's been sick, he's been everything still running at least a mile. So for several years. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 1:20:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:20:15

Well, sorry about that, but I just made me think about it.

SPEAKER_03: 1:20:17

Yeah, I'm just trying to make it to my year, and then I'll decide what's next for next year. But anywho, I still did it. Got my little miles done through being sick. So, um, so I'm grateful that I'm feeling better and also grateful that I haven't been too weak not to participate in my goal or been injured where I can't, you know, do my goal. So I guess I'm I'm thankful or grateful for wellness. And yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:20:48

I'm grateful for, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm grateful for the fact that you are going on your uh trip to your conference because I know you're excited about it because this is the first one, but like for you, you know, on your own, and all the stuff you've been saying, well, I get to do this, I get to do this on my own, I don't have to do this. And I know it's gonna be some exciting stuff that you're gonna um come home and share. But I'm really because I just know like when you're in this zone, you're getting ready to be a sponge. You're probably gonna pick up so much great stuff. Um, so I'm just excited for this for you. Even though you're gonna be gone, you know what I'm saying? I'll be okay.

SPEAKER_03: 1:21:32

Well, and I think the last time I went on a conference by myself was 2019, actually. Right before the world shut down.

SPEAKER_02: 1:21:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 1:21:40

I got to go to Chicago, remember, and it was the uh national bullying conference. It was in Chicago, and I got to do that on my own. But this is a little different because it it it tie even though like bullying, of course, is bull counseling, but this um it's just a little different because it really ties into my role as training this content. So anyways, um, yeah, so it'll it's it's you know you don't often get a chance to go by, you know, yeah to to to do a training by yourself. My um supervisor, she was like, she listens to our podcast.

SPEAKER_02: 1:22:22

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03: 1:22:23

Um and she said, Um, Chris says, I didn't know you were more alike than I thought. She's like, I can't believe you're excited about going on your own. She says, because that's how I am. I want to go by myself. I don't want to talk to anybody. She's like, I thought you want to talk to everybody because we went on our conference. I mean, like you, I said, because I had to talk to y'all. I can't go on a conference and like say, I don't want food with y'all. So I was like, no. I was like, I had to talk to y'all. And so I had to be on because we went together. Right. So I'm not the kind of person that will go with people and then be like, I don't want to fool with y'all because it's that, you know. So it's fun to go to conferences with people sometimes and have that time together with your colleagues, but it's also nice to go on your own. So I'll either or, I'll take either or, but it is nice to have both.

SPEAKER_01: 1:23:10

Yeah. So feel good.

SPEAKER_03: 1:23:12

She was surprised by that. She didn't, she didn't know. She thought I was like a social butterfly. And I was like, I really am not a social butterfly, to be honest. I that's really not that's really not who I am.

SPEAKER_02: 1:23:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:23:26

Well, it's been an interesting episode. All this trying to correct all this stuff on my phone. Um it's filled with stuff now. I gotta up, I mean, download or offload, that's what I meant to say. Offload all the videos. And a lot of it was from music.

SPEAKER_03: 1:23:44

That Cinnabon snoring, guys.

SPEAKER_01: 1:23:46

Yeah, yeah. That's her snoring. So uh I'm gonna have to offload some videos and photos and all that stuff onto a flash drive I bought. And I probably had to film with the camera next time. Okay. Prayerfully that goes well. And uh and we'll try to film without the headphones, but you know, we'll we need something to set up so we'll know that the audio is right.

SPEAKER_03: 1:24:14

But good thing we did have a mom because we would have known when it's gonna be. We would have kept on talking, talking, been like, oh shit.

SPEAKER_01: 1:24:20

Get all of that. Yep.

SPEAKER_03: 1:24:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:24:22

But let's get on out of here before it stops again.

SPEAKER_02: 1:24:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 1:24:25

Uh, thank you guys again for listening to the Refreshingly Normal Podcast. Um I can't wait. The refreshingly normal podcast. I can't wait till the next because I want to read some of those questions.

SPEAKER_03: 1:24:38

Those were those were pretty entertaining questions.

SPEAKER_01: 1:24:42

And the other email I sent you too has some real good questions on that too. So I can't wait for those two things. Um, well, all right, ladies and gentlemen. Um it's your boy, you'd already know what it is. You know, people eat the one that.

SPEAKER_03: 1:24:56

Well, according to Cinnabon, it is bedtime. Yes. I feel her. It is.

SPEAKER_01: 1:25:03

I'm ready to snore too. So thank you guys for tuning in to Refreshingly Normal Podcast. I am Keithla.

SPEAKER_03: 1:25:10

I am Kree.

SPEAKER_01: 1:25:13

And let's see, we see you.

SPEAKER_03: 1:25:16

Amigos, amigos back.

SPEAKER_00: 1:25:27

The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.