The Refreshingly Normal Podcast with Kēfla and Cree

Stress, Clutter, And Coping

• Kefla and Crecia • Season 1 • Episode 16

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Ever notice how stress sneaks into your house wearing different faces—short replies, nitpicking the tiniest thing, or a sudden urge to fix what’s right in front of you? We open up about how we each show stress, why clutter can spike anxiety, and how we’ve learned to spot the early signs before small sparks become big fires. From the social script that tells Black men to “man up” to the habit of masking stress with productivity, we unpack the roots and share what actually helps us regulate in real time.

We get practical and personal. Meditation and yoga help clear the fog, but therapy is the next step to sort the mental drawers we keep stuffing. We talk about the delicate balance between letting feelings move—yes, sometimes a door slam happens—and stepping in with a repair plan that doesn’t silence anyone. Our go-to loop: notice the cue, name the state, choose a tool (walk, silence, humor, cooking, cleaning), then repair with intention. Emotional intelligence shows up in small rituals: greet before critique, practice gratitude when you walk in, and reset expectations out loud.

There’s plenty of everyday life here too: a workplace “side eye” on poor communication and how secrecy crushes morale, a late-night fast food fail that turns into a lesson about expectations, and the practical math of cutting streaming subscriptions to save money. We share how reflection and the circle of control keep us grounded, how boundaries can preserve family ties without sacrificing peace, and why letting people feel—then finding a real fix—can change the tone of a whole week.

If you felt seen by any of this, tap follow, share with two friends who’d vibe with our take on stress and repair, and leave a quick review. Tell us your best coping ritual—we’re always collecting tools that make hard days softer.

Send us your Questions or Comments and we’ll answer them on the show.

Don't forget to Like, Comment, Share, and Subscribe.

Thank you for listening!

SPEAKER_04:

The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_06:

Hello, everybody. Welcome back. And thank you for sticking with us for part two.

SPEAKER_01:

Part two.

SPEAKER_06:

This is the Refreshingly Normal Podcast. I am Kefla.

SPEAKER_01:

I am Cree.

SPEAKER_06:

And we were talking so long in the first episode that we was like, yo, we can't just put all this out on one, you know, one long episode. People would probably just take their car and just run it off over a bridge or something. So we're not going to do that to y'all.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't think y'all would do that anyways.

SPEAKER_06:

Right. So thank you so much for sticking with us. And uh hey, let's get right into part two. His eye, one of his eyes ain't even working right. Look like them old uh Toyota. Remember Toyota Celica? Because probably like an uh 8S7 when he used to have them lights used to flash it like that. One of his lights flashed like that. That's what he looked like.

SPEAKER_01:

We could talk about him because he's trifling.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, he's trifling.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, ragged aself.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, Buster. Buster Brown. All right. So let's get on so we can do what we gotta do for the rest of the day. What we gotta do for the rest of the day.

SPEAKER_01:

Nothing. Which is the best thing.

SPEAKER_06:

That's good. All right. Alabama ain't playing today. Alabama State playing Prairie View. I mean, we went to Prairie View. It was, no, we didn't go to Prairie View. They came to us. I was thinking of Mississippi State. It was so cold and raining when we cheered there. Arkansas Pine Bluff when I got into that fight with the other mascot.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm trying to find my company.

SPEAKER_06:

In the hood.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, got them.

SPEAKER_06:

All right, so we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01:

We're gonna end one question. I got well, I had two, but we could do one. We could do other one.

SPEAKER_06:

I mean, it depends on how fast we're doing.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yeah, that is true. All right, here we go. Um, how do you oh I'll this is this is the question, and then I'll do it. So I'll read the question. How do you both deal with stress differently? And what have you learned from each other's coping styles?

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

So well, what do you let's think about describing the other when they're stressed? Okay. And how do you know when I'm stressed, and how do I know when you're stressed?

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_06:

So who's you going first?

SPEAKER_01:

You can start first. How do you know when I'm stressed?

SPEAKER_06:

Uh you're you're very short um in answers and statements, um, and you forget that I'm grown, and you kind of think that I'm a coworker or a kid in your classroom that you gotta tell you. Yeah, no, a co-worker, because is like, how do you not understand that? And I'm like, 'cause I don't I don't know what you're talking about, you know. Um I know because you've been dealing with them, and that's you've you're seeing my my their face on my shoulders. Oh. And so that's how you're responding. And then how you know you're you're short and cold. And um, you know, so that's how I know you're stressed.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_06:

Um then that that was the okay.

SPEAKER_01:

So then, okay, so so for me, how do I know when you're stressed? It's because you are short too. And then you get nitpicky. Like you just start things that are like, why is he even worried about that? Like, why? And it's kind of like because you whatever the stress is, like, that hasn't figured out how to manage. So then it's like trying to nitpick on things that can't immediately be fixed or done. And you get like nitpicky in that way. So then I know, oh, he's it's some kind of something he's going on. That's what I noticed. Would you say that is true?

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, it's probably true.

SPEAKER_01:

Probably.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, I'd say probably true. But I know I know why the nitpicky comes though.

SPEAKER_01:

Why?

SPEAKER_06:

The nitpicky comes because uh my life is cluttered. And so if I can fix one thing, I felt like I've fixed something. And my mind is cluttered, um you know, but my mind is which is I mean, and that's you know, if you study it, you'll know that a person with a cluttered mind normally has a cluttered surrounding. And even when my mind is fresh, like if after you know, when I meditate and, you know, do my yoga and stuff like that, uh, there are still things that I can uh see that can because of the clutter is still there. But there are other places that I can look at, maybe the thing that I did nitpick and correct it, that's what I can focus on to keep me from stressing again. You know, so um and I know, you know, people say, well, why don't you declutter your stuff? Uh people living in clutter or people that uh have cluttered minds and cluttered lives, they know it's not as easy. It's just like telling, really, I mean, I'm a I don't know, I don't have an addiction, but it's like telling a person that's addicted to stop.

SPEAKER_01:

Just stop taking it, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh or it's like uh we had a discussion about, you know, exercising. It's like telling a person who's never exercised before to start, or a person who's trying to lose weight how to tell them to do it. And it's like it's not that easy because we're seeing the results we want to have as opposed to every day of showing up, going to the gym, showing up, eating properly, showing up of staying consistent. And that's what this is. Of course, it'd be so much easier if I just like went away for two weeks and somebody just blew the whole thing up and got rid of everything. But then the s other stress will come from me doing what? Wondering what was thrown away.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_06:

Or even the upset feeling of knowing that I needed something and it is gone. Yeah. And I can never get it back. You know, um, but I do get over things, you know, quickly. Yeah, I get over like you know, I have a moment, which I feel like I deserve it because I feel like, and I'm probably going on, but I feel like I wasn't able to have moments growing up. And in most most young black men, we don't get the opportunity to have moments. We can't be emotional. We can't uh because they tell us to do what? Suck it up, man up.

SPEAKER_00:

Man up. Yeah. I talk about that all the time.

SPEAKER_06:

You know, and so train them. Um I get over things, you know, easy and quickly. Um one, because of that's that training that's in us, you know. It's not healthy. But then also I get over things easily from the healthy perspective of knowing that it's not that deep. You know what I'm saying? That uh if it's done, it's done. If it's gone, it's gone. Don't let it kill you. Because I don't want to have a heart attack. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to be stressed. I don't and I don't like for people to be mad at me that mean something to me. If I don't mean anything to you, you you Or if you don't mean anything to me. Oh yeah. If you don't mean anything to me, sorry, then you could be mad at me forever. You know what I'm saying? Like racist people that don't know, you can be mad at me forever. I don't, you know what I'm saying? But somebody that's close to me, you really know me, you know that I'll do anything for your happiness, which will actually give me I will sacrifice mine for a minute because it your happiness brings me happiness. You know what I'm saying? So um, but the clutter is what is is what stresses me. And I know I need help in it, and I'm not talking about just doing it. Like I need help. And so I I and me seeking therapy is my goal.

SPEAKER_01:

I've been saying that.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. Um Well, you know, I've wanted to do therapy a while, a long while. You know. I wanted to do uh Well, why why haven't you done it? Um Well, I wanted to do couples therapy. But um I'll do singular therapy first, personal therapy.

SPEAKER_01:

And then you can invite me.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. So I'll get you on board. Uh do couples therapy one day. But um, that's my goal.

SPEAKER_01:

So what is your way of coping? I know you mentioned meditation, yoga. What else do you do?

SPEAKER_06:

I mask it in in in other ways and trying to be better in other areas. You know what I mean? So let's say for example, um, if I am stressed and I'm causing chaos because I'm short-tempered or short not really short-term.

SPEAKER_01:

You don't create chaos.

SPEAKER_06:

But I mean, uh if I not not chaos, but if I create, oh well, you know, I'm gonna leave them alone. I I mask it by still doing what I need to do. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, some people shut down. They're stressed, they're not doing anything.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Oh, so maybe like you'll come and cook something delicious.

SPEAKER_06:

Or I still make sure I I take my time and prepare what needs to be prepared. Like I make sure if I know where I cook, I'm gonna cook, I'm gonna clean the kitchen, load the dishwasher. You know, you need, you know, if you ask me to do something, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do everything I need to do so that it doesn't compound any other problems or things that I've caused because of me being stressed. So that's the that's the only way. Other than that, man, I mean, you know, I just I I I put a lot, like you said, a lot of stuff I I uh pack it away, I guess.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I think it's important though to be able to, like, you sometimes get to a space where, like, for me, sometimes I need to slam a door and I need to do something like that. And he will get frustrated with me for doing that. And like, for instance, here's an example of um when we were getting getting ready to get our kitchen redone, and I was um, we love our our contractor. Um, but there was some kind of mix up in communication on what day they were starting or coming. And so then finally it was like we had showered, we were getting ready, we were in the bed. And then I got the text message that said, he will be there tomorrow at um in the morning to start the demolition of the kitchen. Well, we hadn't gotten everything out of all the cabinets, and so for me, when I hadn't got in the bed and I'm ready to go to bed, because sleep is my, I love sleep.

SPEAKER_06:

It's her jam.

SPEAKER_01:

Sleep is my jam. And so having to get up and do that, and I didn't want to do it, and I was frustrated with that, and um so I'm fussing about it, and so he's like, Don't just I'll do it. You if it's gonna make you feel like this, then don't, and so and I'm you know, slamming things and upset. And so, um, because you don't, I said, you don't have to, you know, be you don't need to, and I said, uh yes, I can be frustrated and angry about this. And so I think the idea of masking and not letting those feelings just kind of show through how you needed to show because it wasn't for a bit about him, and it wasn't anything that I was doing to him. Like I wasn't hitting him upside the head and you know, you know, things towards him or cussing at him, or like it was nothing towards him. It's just me being frustrated, and and and but he just doesn't like what I think like to see that maybe for people that you love or you care about, and I just don't want to maybe come towards me, or I don't know. So he and so I said, No, I can be angry.

SPEAKER_06:

You know what?

SPEAKER_01:

And I said that and I went on downstairs and I got the we got the whole kitchen thing done.

SPEAKER_06:

Pause real quick.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_06:

For the slip. Maybe that's where Kimani get it from.

SPEAKER_01:

What?

SPEAKER_06:

You know how when he sees somebody expelling some kind of physical. Oh, you're right.

SPEAKER_01:

And he gets and he says he will leave the room or he tries to say something funny to like the situation.

SPEAKER_06:

What can he do to correct it? Yeah. Or he'll be like, look, y'all just I I'm gonna do it. Uh-huh. You said, you know, and when he gets up in the middle of the night, he starts doing stuff to correct what it is as maybe where he got it from. Okay, I'm sorry, go ahead. Uh-huh. But it just made me think. I was like, dang.

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06:

And I I'm I I love that training.

SPEAKER_01:

And I think then what's so funny is vice versa.

SPEAKER_06:

The one that'll do the slamming.

SPEAKER_01:

He's gonna do the slamming of the door. He's gonna do the stomping up the stairs and saying what he got to say, going up the stairs. And um, but I think what balances it is you're gonna say, well, I you try to fix it, but we in a place where I'm like, no, because I'm not gonna let him go do it all because that's not what it is. I'm just frustrated that it's last minute we have to do it. And so we have to allow people to feel and to be able to express, if it's not hurting anybody, allow people to feel um through their frustration and and and if they need to slam a door, that doesn't hurt anybody. Okay, it doesn't hurt anybody, but there has to be a balance.

SPEAKER_06:

So like so if this is allowing you to feel, uh-huh, this is allowing us to heal.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

And that means just let us fix it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I I get that part, but for me, and maybe that's also for me, is that I don't want you. I like that, I love that you do that because that's what creates the balance for me. But I'm not, I'm fussing, but I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. So it's like, I'm not gonna not, I wasn't gonna not go down there and do it, but I'm just frustrated that it was so last minute.

SPEAKER_06:

But you know me, I don't want if you're gonna fuss, go. Let me do it.

SPEAKER_01:

He don't, yes, he don't want all the fusses.

SPEAKER_06:

Go.

SPEAKER_01:

But when he says that, then it also alerts me to um you you need to regulate yourself. So when he says that, I it also shows, which I think is okay, like that is a healthy piece for him to say, We're lucky listen, listen, I do it. If you're gonna be feeling like all of this and this and this and that, then that is my hint that says, okay, you need to regulate your stuff.

SPEAKER_06:

We're lucky because I, you know, we I don't like a back and forth. You know what I mean? And so it's like, so if you slam and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna slam, you know, we I don't, you know, so I'm always okay. Well, look, what would I need to do to fix it? You like, it's not that easy. I'm like, yes. Just give me the chance. What it so what's wrong? Is this okay? Go away, let me handle it.

SPEAKER_01:

No, and and I'll tell them I'm frustrated and I'm angry.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. And I'm no uh, you can't, I you can't uh let me fix it. Yes. It ain't that yes, it ain't that simple. And it's the principal, okay, principal, let me.

SPEAKER_01:

And so the same for him, when he comes in, sometimes he'll come in the house and he just starts saying all the things he sees that's not right and wrong. And I'll say, Chow, you just walked in the dome. Don't nobody want to hear you saying everything that's wrong when you walk in.

SPEAKER_06:

But I told y'all before I left, this had both of me.

SPEAKER_01:

And then he realizes, oh, let me regulate myself. So um I think that's also like uh um um emotional intelligence.

SPEAKER_06:

You know what? I say when I do that and I come in and you say something, the switch hits that says, I'm lucky to have somebody come home to. I say that every time. So, and I'm lucky to be able to come home to this. So when I come in, I'm like, ah, blah, blah, blah, blah, it's out of place. And then you say, Well, okay, hello to you too. And I'm like, my bad. And I that's what I'm saying in my head. Boy, you're lucky to have a house to come home to. You're lucky to that you wanted to come home. You're lucky, you know, and so it it instantly pulls me back. And I'm not one to, you know, I don't like to I'm I'm good at uh, I guess saying keeping work at work, home at home. But sometimes it's other stuff. It spills off. Yeah. You know, and and so that's what it, you know, it's little things like that. And it's and and and more times than not, it's nothing against anybody else. It's all me. Whatever, whatever I'm like when I'm pointing stuff, that's me. Because I'm thinking about my mess, and it's like, now I got a mess here too, that was clean. You know what I'm saying? Um, if somebody gets me upset, I'm not really mad, I'm mad at myself that I let them get me upset. You know, I'm mad that I let somebody cut me off in traffic and I got pissed. You know, I'm mad that I got frustrated that I went somewhere, it was closed because maybe I didn't research the time and all that stuff. So more times than not, I can find a way to say, Kefla, what did what was your part in it?

SPEAKER_01:

And then So a coping strategy is you being reflective.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Like being able. And that's all apart to me.

SPEAKER_06:

It might happen again.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

And I want to know how to, like I said, with coping, what how am I able to handle it if it happens again?

SPEAKER_01:

And I I think um even like I talk a lot when I'm doing my trainings for uh zones of regulation and um talking to um families about it. And so slamming doors, like that's not a good coping strategy. Um, you we if you are slamming a door, you are dysregulated. And so I'm gonna start calling you dysregulated. That is, you really are. And so that's why I say none of us are perfect. There's a point where our emotions get the best of us, and we may do something that um is dysregulated, whether that's slamming a door, whether that's uh were you allowed to do that at home? What I always say um at my house, nobody talked about being upset, but you knew people were upset because you heard cabinet slam and you heard um door slam, but you also saw people's body language, yeah. Um, and then you or or or zero communication.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And so um you knew that. And so in that way, they were dysregulated, but nothing is solved that way. Yeah. And so for me, what I learned from that is with my own family, no, we gonna talk like about it. So luckily for me, um, I was blessed to marry someone who also was gonna talk about it. But it's hard to do because it takes two people to kind of talk about it. So if one person decides, I'm shutting down, I'm not communicating when they are dysregulated or upset. And the other person, that that just that that becomes quite challenging for um for people. But because nobody can read your mind, because sometimes you could be upset and nobody knows why why you're upset. And I would say, even for us, we have grown to that. Because I know I will shut down and be like, I'm not talking. And it might have been times where you're like, I don't know what you're mad about.

SPEAKER_06:

But because that's was uh Yeah, I remember sometimes you would say, I'm not talking. I said, Well, you ain't gotta talk, but but you gonna listen. Yeah. So I'm gonna talk. Or you would say something like, uh uh I I'm not I'm not trying to hear this no more and say, Well, ain't nothing wrong with your ears, though. So I'm gonna talk and you're gonna you'll hear me saying what I'm gonna say, whether or not you listen to me or not.

SPEAKER_01:

So I think for me that was like a learned of like how problems were urged in my when I was growing up. Yeah. Like I don't ever recall people like talking about, you know, like anywho, so but even for so I say So what's your let's get to your thing? What's your what's your coping? Yeah. Oh, I loved for a run. Like working out for me is a coping strategy for me to kind of let loose. Also, driving in silence, like sometimes I that helps. Try you phone call every day? I don't. Sometimes if sometimes I don't answer people's calls. So sometimes people may call on my ride. You're gonna answer and I'll I'm in like asylum or I just I'm not in the space where I feel like um talking depending upon um what it is. Um, so that is for me, and then also um something to take your mind off of, like something funny or humorous to kind of like I know people say like TikTok and stuff like is is like a uh a social media addiction, but it really can distract you um and and that. And then also like you said, remembering what you should what you should be grateful or thankful for, like what are the joys and things in my life where this small little bit of something is not even worth me being that upset, especially if it's like thinking about circle of control, like if it's something I can't control and I and I can't change, then there's no need of being upset over it. If it is something that I do have control over or or are it can possibly change, then I have to sit and think about how how I can I make that happen.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, and I also believe I'm a true believer in reflecting. So reflecting in when things are not going right, like what's my part in it and why it's not going right, thinking about it that way. Also, I reflect even when things are great.

SPEAKER_06:

You have to because how can it be better? You gotta repeat it too. Yeah, you like, well, this was great. So what did I do so that I can repeat it? Just like if you're playing sports and you run the play right, well, you gotta what did I do that made the play right?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

You know, so that I can do that again. Like a recipe. What did I use? Okay, I used that. And it made it perfect. I'm gonna make sure I use those, that vanilla extract again, you know. So you have to reflect positively and negatively.

SPEAKER_01:

So I think about it in that way. And um, and also um I have all uh also grown up as a person, like when somebody like one time you do something where I'm like, uh, I'm done fooling with you. I could cut people off like and be done. I have tried to work on that because people aren't perfect. I'm not perfect, and I wonder, I wouldn't want anybody just to kind of like cut me off like that. So also figuring out my part in that to help to maintain important relationships to me. Yeah. Um, but I'm also a believer in protecting my peace. Of course. And so that comes through the reflection of being able to see is there something I can do? If it's not, then let me figure out what I'm gonna do to protect my peace. And sometimes um uh separating from specific people um and deciding what space you will allow for them to have in your life is maintaining a relationship because if you allow it to continue, then it will be a done done I'm like you don't exist person. So sometimes deciding doing that separation is also helpful to maintain um that relationship. I'm thinking specifically if you think about relationships that are family, you know. So um just to maintain that and then to also um ensure a healthy family dynamic.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

So, anyways, all right.

SPEAKER_06:

All right, so let's get to, you know, let's go ahead and wrap it up so we can get out of it because we were supposed to be 45. Oh, uh hour. We way past Are we really?

SPEAKER_01:

It don't even seem like we've been talking that long anyways.

SPEAKER_05:

So let's uh let's get to our uh side eye of the week.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh gosh, my ready all right.

SPEAKER_06:

So um my side eye of the week is um my job, lack of communication. Um it's just like I don't know. Uh I'm happy for my job, God knows I am. I'm happy where I'm working, but it's like lack of communication. Um I don't know, uh I don't know. So I'm not gonna go into detail. Well, forget it. Um I think that if you involve someone, say, hey, I need you to teach this class now, and then hey, we're not gonna need you to teach this class anymore. You know what I mean? Just let me know. Don't don't just all of a sudden I'm like, oh, prepared and like, okay, and then somebody said, Oh no, I got all my kids uh for the uh for the tutoring session. You don't have them anymore. I said, I don't what what oh I didn't know that. Like that, you know, stuff like that. Like let me know what you know what's going on. Um it's just like it's be professional, you know, communicate to people. Um we always talk about communication is key when we're, you know, dealing with parents and kids, but you know, I think it's communication is key for any human being. You know, that's the reason why we have mouths and ears, and um we also have eyes because we can read an email. So communicate through an email if you don't want to communicate verbally. But um that's my side out of it. It's a lack of communication from the higher-ups, thinking everything is freaking uh private. Um it's just uh Unnecessarily.

SPEAKER_01:

It is. Like those even It's secrecy.

SPEAKER_06:

Okay, then when something go down and you need some support, and we can't help you. And I feel like it's o it's really getting to the point where I'm noticing that you're only you're not, you know, normally it's like, oh, we're we're a community, we're a team. We're not a team. It's like now it's like we're more so the objects that you would use to facilitate a game. You know what I mean? So either I'm the the ball, I'm the yard marker, I'm the goal, but I'm not the player in the team. You know what I mean? That's what I'm starting to see. And um, and it's not just me. You know, it's other people.

SPEAKER_01:

Other people feel the same way.

SPEAKER_06:

Right. And so it's uh but that's not good.

SPEAKER_01:

That doesn't feel good.

SPEAKER_06:

No, it doesn't feel good, and it's not good for education. It's not good for morale, it's not good for uh, you know, a company aspect. It's just it's not it's not good at all. So my side of the week is that I'ma hopefully some more exciting things are happening for a side eye of the week, but because I know recently it's been my job.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh-huh. It has been.

SPEAKER_06:

But also it's been, I've been seeing it from a different perspective. You know, because back in, you know, when I'm in the dungeon, what we call the P area.

SPEAKER_00:

Nobody is bothering it. Nobody bothers. Right.

SPEAKER_06:

And and and, you know, you see what it is. And there was still some stuff there I could have complained about. But um now, what I see is, you know, and I'm to the point, like say, I got more good years behind me than I do in front.

SPEAKER_02:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, those are good years in front, but I'm saying, you know, you you old in the game, I've seen it. And now I'm in a position where You know, I can go anywhere and teach what I'm teaching now. So you know, they need it. They need me.

SPEAKER_02:

That's true.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, you think they need me. A lot of people, they don't care about representation. They don't care about lack of black males in the classroom certain places.

SPEAKER_01:

So Kimai and I are talking about that.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. Um, but that's my side eye. What's your side eye?

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I'm side eyeing whataburger that is by it.

SPEAKER_06:

Look, okay, I got two side eyes. Right here. Matter of fact, I mean Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Let me tell you. So yesterday, after we had those little bitty chicken wings, of course, we were hungry after the concert. The concert was a full four hours.

SPEAKER_06:

Yes. I was happy. I I love a long concert because you feel like you pay your money. And I hate when you're like, I didn't. Yeah. You know.

SPEAKER_01:

So it was four hours. So when we got home, we were like, only thing like really open near us was the Whataburger.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

We get to order Whataburger. First of all, I ordered myself a cheeseburger kid's meal. Because I'm the cheese, though. I knew it was late, so I was ordered something kind of late. He ordered the chicken sandwich meal, which he always orders. First, the fries were cold. We sat in line forever.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So you would think that they're good 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_06:

They'd be fresh.

SPEAKER_01:

Making fresh stuff. That's why the line is taking so long because you're making fresh stuff. Fries cold. Then I get home to eat my cheeseburger. I got a grilled cheese that looked like they grilled the cheese four hours ago. Yeah. Terrible. His chicken sandwich, burnt patty.

SPEAKER_06:

Then too.

SPEAKER_01:

Couldn't even eat it.

SPEAKER_06:

I threw it in the trash.

SPEAKER_01:

So disappointed.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

In that mess that we got from uh one of the water burger. So his one of his students works there.

SPEAKER_06:

I'ma complain to her on Monday. She wasn't there then, but I'm going to tell her say, yo, you y'all need to use the channel.

SPEAKER_01:

In actuality, had it not been so late, we should have turned around. Turn around and be like took it right on back. Because there ain't no telling what we would have gotten back in return. Take a body. I'm always nervous about when you turn food back in and ask for something new.

SPEAKER_06:

Because the moral morale of people has changed. Just like, you know, customer service used to be great. People wanted to do right by you. Now people don't give a damn. And they'll do whatever. And you know, people you hear about people doing crazy things. And hey, who knows what kind of saliva we've eaten in our food before. But we're not complainers, but even still.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, we yeah, we normally are. And so I I I'm glad I bought a kid's meal because I'm just thinking to myself, if I would have bought a yeah, we didn't spend a lot of money on that.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, because mine was a little extra because I upgraded to the kids. To onion rings.

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-hmm. But that was a mess. Outside iron, whataburger. Side iron. Um over there near us in Ackworth. Yeah. That they were um that was some nasty food. I mean, I don't think I had anything like that. A sick of you. In a long way. Yeah, that was horrible. That was I mean, it was terrible. We should have just gone to Waffle House.

SPEAKER_06:

Should have. Mm-mm. No, that would have been terrible. That would have been terrible too.

SPEAKER_01:

At least it would have been hot and fresh.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, because they cook it right there.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, they ain't fighting on our side at Waffle House.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh-uh. We could have done the Waffle House right there. They would have it would have been hot and fresh, and um, it would have had a whole bunch of good. That's one reason I don't like Waffle House. One time I went to Waffle House, but I saw them uh scooping out that oil on the thing. I was like, oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_06:

That's what they do. Put that. Yeah. Well, it ain't oil, I think it's melted butter.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, anyway.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh yeah, but it's the melted butter.

SPEAKER_01:

They put it on the waffle iron and on the griddle.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But they use an awful lot of oil. And that just made me feel like, oh, that's why people like it. I know they do, but it made me feel like, oh, my God was eating a million calories. Anyways.

SPEAKER_06:

All right, what are we looking forward to this week?

SPEAKER_01:

Ooh, I don't know what I'm looking forward to.

SPEAKER_06:

The weather's gonna be high around 70 something now this week.

SPEAKER_01:

It's gonna be a little nice.

SPEAKER_06:

It's gonna be a little, I think it might be a little humid though, because it's like that weather getting back up to hot. You know, I don't know. It may be clear.

SPEAKER_01:

But uh November 4th is voting.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So make sure y'all get out there and vote because Lord knows what we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_06:

Early voting, we need to we need to vote.

SPEAKER_01:

Um make sure you vote to make a difference. Uh I'm not quite sure what I'm looking forward to. I know um I hear that my in-laws are coming this way. Yeah. So um I think we'll cook something.

SPEAKER_06:

We should, huh?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, um, they're they're supposed to be coming this way. So maybe that'll be tell Megan Poe. Well, also um one of our for our couple friends that we love to go out to dinner with, they um we're talking about going out to dinner on Saturday.

SPEAKER_06:

Um must be the bye week for Northern Illinois. Maybe so. Uh J.

SPEAKER_01:

But I didn't get to look back at her message. I asked her which day that was. Um, but it wait till you see what the food looks like. You're gonna be like. I don't need to see what the price is gonna look like. I'm gonna be like Oh, yeah, because they do like to eat some good, expensive scrumptious. But it's but it's always so delicious. But it is. Um, anywho, so we'll see where where when they're trying to go. But um I love a good date night with them. It's always a good time. So um anyway, so we maybe dinner with them or um hanging out with the in-laws.

SPEAKER_06:

Because my brother wants me to help him, want um me and well the brothers to help him do some stuff around his barn barn barnove.

SPEAKER_00:

Barn Do.

SPEAKER_06:

Barn Dove. You know, that he got. So, and then I don't know what we might have to do.

SPEAKER_01:

But um What are you looking forward to?

SPEAKER_06:

This week, man. Oh this week. I don't know. Really. Um I got another IEP Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_01:

IEPs.

SPEAKER_06:

I think. No, actually, oh my God. Yes, it is Friday. The parent can only do Friday at 3.15. Yes, Friday at 3.15. So I have to make sure I got another special ed teacher that can be there, sit in. Um but uh I got that, I'm looking forward to knocking down. Like I said, looking forward to knocking them out because when I knock them out, I'm done. But um really, man, uh I don't wanna say nothing. Um I w I want to cook some greens one day and some chili one day this week. Um I don't know. But I don't know if it's gonna be cold enough.

SPEAKER_01:

It's not gonna be cold.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, the weather don't like it's cold, but I still have cooked chili this week. I know, I know. This week. But that we had the that day we had the spaghetti.

SPEAKER_01:

Ooh, it was good.

SPEAKER_06:

It was very good. You cooked that spaghetti, it was very, very good. Um, but uh I I think I might just cook some greens tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh that'd be good.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah, because I'm gonna do that in the I'ma start them when I'm before I cook the breakfast.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_06:

So that I can let them cook real slow. That'd be super tender.

SPEAKER_00:

Mm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

So but um I don't know, man. Really, like, uh it's gotta be something that I'm looking forward to. I'm looking forward to getting my butt back in the gym and going to physical therapy. This physical therapy is uh I mean therapy meeting, though, is gonna just be the consultation. Yeah. So they're not gonna do anything. It's gonna stretch you and see where you are.

SPEAKER_01:

Um But maybe after that, then what day is that?

SPEAKER_06:

Wednesday.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I was gonna say maybe then they have an appointment for it.

SPEAKER_06:

If they will, I'm gonna try to get a Thursday. Immediate uh a Thursday, a Friday, well, they won't be to open late Friday. So I would try to do a Thursday and um because I need dry needling and stuff.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_06:

Um But that's it. Yeah, so so yeah, looking forward to uh um getting my back, going to the gym, hopefully. I want to get back in the sauna. Um playing the lottery so I can become rich, rich. Um, but that's it. Well, well, we're gonna get on up out of here. We done held y'all long enough, hostage long enough. Um I'm on another book. I can't remember what it is. God dang it.

SPEAKER_01:

Well then don't even bring it up. You don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_06:

But it's it's it's a cool little thing. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, he's gonna look it. I'm gonna look it up. He's gonna look at it.

SPEAKER_06:

It's on Audible. Um did I ever tell him what my other one was?

SPEAKER_01:

Nope, you never did tell this. The one you love. That's what it's called.

SPEAKER_06:

It's called The One You Love.

SPEAKER_01:

What that's your new book?

SPEAKER_06:

No, that's the one you love was the one, the real good story about um by Kimberly, Kimberly, Kimberly something. The one you love. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I will say while he's trying to find his one book, um, I think it is this week, actually, um, which I am a little um a little nervous about. We have one training with some middle schoolers, and uh there are 80. Did y'all hear me? 80 of them. 80 who students.

SPEAKER_05:

I don't know that.

SPEAKER_01:

That's making me a little nervous. That's a lot of middle schoolers at one time. So um we'll see. The training, that's gonna be a huge circle because the training has to be done in a circle. So that's gonna be a mighty big circle, and we will um see how that goes. Y'all wish me luck on on Wednesday with 80, sixth, seventh, and eighth graders, lordy.

SPEAKER_06:

So that's a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm gonna definitely make sure I get some good rest, have enough energy, have my coffee that morning, have me a backup, some kind of energy drink in my purse. Um so that um I can engage these babies on Wednesday. So we can have a good time and um keep them engaged and it'd be a successful training. This guy's still trying to find the book, child. Yeah, no, sorry, Tyra.

SPEAKER_06:

I'm almost done. I'll keep going.

SPEAKER_01:

He just wants me to ramble on while he finds this doggone book, but oh, so now you can't talk. No, because I wasn't prepared for this. So 80 Stuart's.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, no, but you love me by Kimberly Brown. So y'all get that book. If You Love Me by Kimberly Brown. It is amazing. The small book that I'm on right now is called Do Not Disturb Good Sex in Progress. And it is like it is included with your Audible. So if you have Audible out there and Are those books free or you have to purchase them? Um well, if you have the Audible account.

SPEAKER_01:

Audible account, you get okay.

SPEAKER_06:

But this one, okay, let's say if you have the Audible account, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06:

And you know how you get the$14 credit every month where you can download a book. Well, this one doesn't charge you. The one that anything, um, well, this is with your Audible account, you don't get charged for that one. But um it it's it's good. It's good. So I want to show you the if you love me, what it looks like, so that you guys can uh out there in the world, y'all can look it up when you get a chance. But if you love me, it's very, very good.

SPEAKER_01:

Can't you just cut and paste it when you put this out there?

SPEAKER_06:

Oh, yeah, I can, huh?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, just do that. He's doing too much, y'all. Ciao. What am I doing? He's trying to um I think we in Zoom.

SPEAKER_06:

That's what I think we are in Zoom.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, what is he doing? How are you gonna show it to y'all?

SPEAKER_06:

I got my pants on. Officer Jackson, you got pants on.

SPEAKER_01:

So, goodness gracious. All right, we leaving.

SPEAKER_06:

We're getting up out of here. So, um, thank y'all for watching. Um, I need this is what I need for what the pastor say, I chur uh a charge. This is my charge for y'all. Everybody that listens, I need you to get at least two new listeners each week. At least two new listeners each week. All right. If you could do that for me, then hit us up on Instagram.

SPEAKER_01:

And let us know.

SPEAKER_06:

On the book. Hey, man, I got I got my cousin listening to y'all, man. Y'all are something else. Or they could say, man, my cousin, and I say, y'all full of ish. You know, whatever. As long as they listen.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

Um, clearly listening to anything long enough, you realize you learned something. All right. Uh, but other than that, um, we're gonna get up out of here and uh find out what we're gonna eat tonight.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

And uh ain't nothing on TV. Maybe we'll find something to watch on.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, there's always. No.

SPEAKER_06:

Ooh, hold up.

SPEAKER_01:

No, no.

SPEAKER_06:

Tell him what we watched.

SPEAKER_01:

What?

SPEAKER_06:

And it was good. Ruth and Boaz.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, so good. But let me tell you the connection. That's what I wanted to share this time. The connection to Ruth and Boaz, where he uh washed her feet before she stomped on the grapes. But do y'all remember? If y'all listen to us, first date, somebody washed mine.

SPEAKER_06:

I gave her foot scrub. I washed on little crusty feet.

SPEAKER_01:

Ruth and Boy.

SPEAKER_06:

Them feet went from ah.

SPEAKER_01:

They was not that never. My feet never that, never.

SPEAKER_06:

They was ah no. Watched them, then they said ah.

SPEAKER_01:

If you have not watched it, it is so, it's such, it is a good movie. It is very good movie. Really enjoyed it. But before we leave, I'll just give a little quick little um something to say, and then it'll be me just giving a little jab before we leave.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, go ahead, Jim.

SPEAKER_01:

This person saying, Oh, there's nothing to watch. Oh, we got plenty to watch. Y'all won't know how many subscriptions we got. Uh, we got everything.

SPEAKER_06:

I canceled Paramount.

SPEAKER_01:

We got, let me just we got Hulu.

SPEAKER_06:

We had Paramount, Peacock, uh Peacock comes with the cable HBO.

SPEAKER_01:

Um Disney Disney Plus.

SPEAKER_06:

That comes with Hulu.

SPEAKER_01:

Um we also have um Netflix. We also have Prime. That comes with Prime.

SPEAKER_05:

We also have Amazon Prime.

SPEAKER_01:

We also have Did I say Peacock already?

SPEAKER_06:

We got BT Plus.

SPEAKER_01:

BT Plus. Um The stars come with that.

SPEAKER_06:

We got started.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, we got stars. Chow. We got plenty to watch, but we're getting ready to get rid of some of these subscriptions because some of the stuff we do not watch. We don't have Zoo. There's only really one show that I watch on HBO, and that's the the later version of Sex in the City. But I feel like we can save money because just one of the things. Cancel it then. I am. So then when they come out, you can just buy the get the subscription for the month or whatever to watch just that series. Or you can buy the series from somewhere else. Anyways, yeah, we got plenty to watch, child.

SPEAKER_05:

We got a cutback.

SPEAKER_01:

We're gonna cut back.

SPEAKER_05:

So got a cut back.

SPEAKER_01:

We're gonna cut back, save some dollars.

SPEAKER_05:

Yep.

SPEAKER_06:

Because times right now, boy.

SPEAKER_01:

You never know.

SPEAKER_06:

Going to the grocery store at Costco is crazy. It is.

SPEAKER_01:

It is so ridiculous. Especially when you try to eat healthy. Now you can go buy some cheap stuff and that's gonna kill you. Crazy.

SPEAKER_06:

But it's like going to Trader Joe's is almost cheaper than going to because then we used to go to Trader Joe's and be like, oh, this is expensive. But when you look at our grocery prices compared to Trader Joe's price, we're like, we really like the last two times we went to Trader Joe's, we was like, hmm.

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, Trader Joe's is a good price too.

SPEAKER_06:

So, all right, so with that being said, we're getting up out of here. Please, yo, check out those books, man. I'm telling you, just check them out. I I I wish I had somebody to talk to about the books.

SPEAKER_01:

I know. Maybe I'll do maybe I'll do the audible part.

SPEAKER_06:

That's all I do. I do I do audible because I'm on the way to work. Uh well, I listen to our podcast on Monday.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh because I'm stuck in traffic for there and at back, it should be enough to listen, finish it. And then I listen to the audiobooks the rest of the week.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Um, but I'm gonna I'm gonna do that.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Whatever book you're on now, I'll do because I'm not gonna go backtrack.

SPEAKER_06:

You still gonna listen to that one. You gotta listen to that one. It is good.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_06:

I ain't worried about you listening to the one with the vampires and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01:

But I listen.

SPEAKER_06:

Definitely you're gonna listen to the one I'm on now, yeah, that's cool. I know. It's a good little funny story. But the the other one, you gotta listen to that because you're gonna be like, I know it is healthy. I know she did it. Yeah. But okay, we're out of here, man. Um, thank y'all for listening. Please tell a friend, tell a friend, remember, your goal, your charge is to have two people, all right, that you know to listen to us on this um platform. We're trying to get these numbers up, man. I'm telling you. All right, because if you can say, hey, I got 50 people when we get real big and get those live shows, and you prove VIP. You right, VIP.

SPEAKER_01:

For you.

SPEAKER_06:

Meet and greet. For you. That's right. I might even bring you some deer meat. For you. That's right. All right, y'all. This is Keith Lough.

SPEAKER_01:

This is Cree.

SPEAKER_06:

And this is the Refreshingly Normal Podcast. Thank you so much. See you when we see you.