From Red Flags To Rebuilding: A Cheating Scandal, Financial Deceit, And Finding Peace

A single text and a church livestream blew the lid off a carefully hidden double life—and we walk you through every jaw-dropping turn. We start with the small inconsistency that sparked suspicion, then trace the calm, methodical investigation that followed: unopened mail with secret credit cards, receipts for trips and gifts, a holiday card from another family, and a decade of messages that confirmed everything. The harshest twist? A baby added to her insurance with the name she and her husband had chosen for the child they never had.

We talk about the choice to gather evidence without confrontation and why quiet exits can be the safest, strongest play. From there, we get practical about financial safety: sharing, not surrendering, control of household money; running routine credit reports; and protecting insurance and digital accounts. We explore the emotional aftermath—grief, headaches, the slow work of scrubbing photos and memories—and the delicate process of building trust again with someone who shows transparency instead of just promising it.

Zooming out, we examine modern dating dynamics where social media and travel widen opportunity and risk. Red flags matter more than ever: homes you never see, timelines that don’t line up, stories a quick search can test. Mixed in are lighter, human notes from our own week—teacher spirit days, Halloween nostalgia, first cars, and the smell of great fried fish that clings to your clothes. Through it all we circle back to what holds: friends who tell you the truth, students who remind you why you show up, colleagues who see your work, and the steady practice of protecting your peace.

Press play, subscribe, and share this one with a friend who needs both the warning signs and the reassurance that life after betrayal is real. If this resonated, leave a review and tell us the red flag you’ll never ignore again.

Don't forget to Like, Comment, Share, and Subscribe.

Thank you for listening!

Transcript

Coffee, Busy Week, And Small Talk

SPEAKER_00 0:03

The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Welcome back, everybody. This is Keith Look.

SPEAKER_05 0:25

And this is Kree.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

And this is the Refreshingly Normal Podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in. We have a good episode coming to you today. We have a great story about some cheating going on. Mm-hmm. And then we got a little flashback of some things that used to happen when we were kids.

SPEAKER_05 0:47

Flashback?

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Yes. All right, so let's start off. Miss Lady.

unknown 0:53

Oh, ladies.

SPEAKER_05 0:54

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Alright, so tell me how was your week? You had some great things going.

SPEAKER_05 0:59

Oh goodness. I had a busy, busy, busy, busy week.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Today you said you were zoning today.

SPEAKER_05 1:06

Today, yes. I had a I had a parent workshop today. And uh I did very well.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

Good, good job.

SPEAKER_05 1:17

So I treated myself to Cafe Clement.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

I see your mouth shining real good from that stuff you had to put on the corner right now.

SPEAKER_05 1:25

Oh, wait, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Yeah. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05 1:29

Is that better?

SPEAKER_02 1:30

Yeah, that's fine.

SPEAKER_05 1:31

All right. Anywho, so I treated myself to Cafe Clement on my way from.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Would you say it's a coffee place or a sandwich shop? No, it's a coffee. Coffee? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:42

Like they they um roast and do all their beans there.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:47

And they what else they make. They make everything. Well, they make everything. And it was something else. All of their pastries, breads, the tort. Now listen, you go there and you get you a breakfast burrito, their homemade tortillas are will melt in your mouth. They are so good. So anywho.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

And it's it's not open on Sundays, right?

SPEAKER_05 2:12

No, they're not open on Sunday.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Um, I think it's only half a day.

SPEAKER_05 2:16

Ciao, can I talk?

SPEAKER_02 2:18

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 2:21

I try to talk. He act like he's on crack over here. I can't even get no words out.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 2:28

Are you all right?

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_05 2:32

Um, so it is open for breakfast and lunch. I think they close like two or three. But yes. You're all right. So, anyways, I went to Cafe Clement today. And that was nice. And um, what I did notice, I thought I really liked their coffee before. And I don't know, I think maybe you know, something is new, and so you think it's the best thing. But um, I noticed that I do like the coffee because you can tell that it is like authentic. I know they get it shipped, but it kind of has a citrusy, you know, coffee that has like a citrusy tang. You know, coffee that's like that. I noticed that in their coffee. And I I like a dark, rich. I wonder what region is dark and rich. No. I don't know. So, anyways, um, so anywho, um, I rocked out my uh parent workshop today. Um I had a training that I did that's brand new that I developed. Um and it went very well. That's good. Um, despite me having a busy week um and changes of spaces of where the the training was gonna take place, um it it turned out very um it went really well. So I was happy about that. So um I think uh that is a I think that's all that I had going this week. Mostly work. Nothing really, oh well I yeah, I had a I had an after work too. Two days was it two days this week I had an afterwork. I sure did. Was Monday the 10th?

SPEAKER_01 4:27

Yes, yeah, Monday was the 10th.

SPEAKER_05 4:29

That's why I was so tired this week. I had um uh evening virtual workshop Monday. I had an evening virtual workshop Thursday, and I had a new training on Wednesday that was a full-day training, um, 8:30 to 4. And then we had um a crisis that I had to help support um at a school that was 8 to 4 on Tuesday. Um, then I had to get up this morning and do another parent workshop. Um, so it was a busy week because Wednesday I went to bed at 7:30 p.m. I was tired.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

Yeah, I was in the bed at 7 o'clock.

SPEAKER_05 5:09

We both were. And we said we're just gonna relax. And then by 7:30, we were gone. So, anywho, it was um a busy week of good things. Um, so that's about it.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

That's good.

SPEAKER_05 5:22

Now, what about you? Nothing. IEPs?

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Nope. No IEPs. No IEPs. No, but you know, just physical therapy.

SPEAKER_05 5:33

Oh, yeah, you did have physical therapy. How many days this week? Just once? Two? Twice. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Uh did I go to the gym Monday?

SPEAKER_05 5:39

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

Yeah. I went to the gym Monday, but I couldn't go the other days. Um but I'm going back. I'm starting next week. I'm gonna go every day. Um, do my thing and and uh start getting up, try to get up early, pray pray that I can get up early. We'll see.

SPEAKER_05 5:54

You're gonna try to go in the morning?

SPEAKER_02 5:56

I wanna do something in the morning. So I'm um if I can get my cardio in the morning, and then I can do I could really just have my time to uh the weights and um and uh mobility work.

SPEAKER_05 6:11

Oh, in the evening.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Yeah. Okay. Because my goal is not to be in the gym past an hour.

SPEAKER_04 6:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

You know what I'm saying? So that's what I'm doing. But other than that, man, I was just super tired. Uh oh yeah, the girls had um my former flag football girls, they had their senior night. And so I coached those girls for three years, and so went to that game and got very emotional. And I told them it's okay to cry. Uh because I was, you know, got I got into my little, they said, Coach, you gotta speak. I was like, Well, you know, I want to show, you know, speak because the other coach is there, he didn't want to speak.

SPEAKER_04 6:45

Oh, he didn't speak?

SPEAKER_02 6:47

No. So um I got up there and the parents wanted me to speak, and so um, as soon as I got in, my voice started cracking. And they said, Oh Lord, oh I said, I said, to be uh, I'm not even gonna try to hold it. And I told them about, you know, it's okay to cry and you know, stop telling young men that to not, you know, show emotions. I said, because then when you y'all out there dating and you're dating an emotionless man, you know what I'm saying? Right.

SPEAKER_05 7:14

But they're not.

SPEAKER_02 7:15

Yeah. And so uh that was that was good because they won that game. They they won in a in a uh what do they call it? Uh something fashion, but uh it was great. They did very, very good. Awesome. Um so I was proud of them. Um but that's it. That's that's really my week was just uh kind of like paperwork stuff, getting stuff together, um, progress support, stuff like that. But I was super tired all week. But the kids were tired all week too. All the kids, the teachers were tired, kids are tired.

SPEAKER_05 7:50

I think we're ready for Thanksgiving break.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Yeah, very much so. And then we getting ready to eat the the very food that makes us even more tired.

SPEAKER_05 7:57

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Turkey.

SPEAKER_05 7:59

Turkey. So um um I've committed to I'm only eating turkey on Thanksgiving Day. I'm not eating it after Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

Yeah, that might work. But um, we'll see how that goes. Um other than that, that was it for my week. Um this is I'm ready to get right into it.

SPEAKER_04 8:19

Okay. You ready? Ready for it.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

Let's get right into it. So um, I guess this is gonna be part of our uh Believe It Sister. Believe it sister section, you know.

SPEAKER_05 8:33

How you did wait, how you did, believe it?

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Believe it.

SPEAKER_05 8:36

Don't nobody do that. Not one single person. They knew.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Hey, now y'all used to be now they don't know. Now you start, y'all used to start all here, yeah. Now they do.

SPEAKER_05 8:50

They grabbing the air, then they clapping and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:55

But you just believe it's so stuff. All right.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

I don't know if that was back when Jive Turkey was out. Yeah, sure enough. Yeah. But anyway, let's read this story. Okay. Um, so I'm gonna read the summary that our great friend wrote for us. Um, Mr. Uh Chapat. Choppitot. Yeah, Chappa Tatot. All right, uh, so here he goes. And it's called The Text That Unraveled Everything. So Dr. Samantha Gray had been married for 13 years when she was seemingly innocent when she when oh, when one seemingly innocent text message blew her entire life wide open. Three days before Valentine's Day, her husband texted her from what he claimed was a work trip in North Carolina. He even went so far as to send photos of the church service telling her how amazing it was and pointing out a particular singer. And but one quick Google search changed everything. So he was like, Honey, I wish you could be here. Look at this lady, she's performing live, and this is her name. And so, this is what the wife did. So the church wasn't in North Carolina after she found out through the Google search. It was in Knoxville, Tennessee, where they had once lived. When she found the live stream video of that same church service, she instantly saw her husband in the crowd wearing a yellow sweater vest that she had bought him. Texting her while the whole time she's looking at him, he was texting her because she was paying attention to it live, and he was texting her with one hand and the other hand holding the hand of a woman.

SPEAKER_04 10:35

A woman.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

And he wasn't getting praying hands. The moment launched her into a quiet, relentless investigation.

SPEAKER_04 10:44

She was home alone.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

She was home alone, and so she was investigating.

SPEAKER_04 10:48

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

All right. So she found an unopened, she found unopened mail. She found unopened mail showing he had opened credit cards in her name. What? Receipts for gifts, trips, restaurant dates, out-of-town concerts. All of this stuff she found.

SPEAKER_04 11:06

Oh. She's going to jail.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

And guess what else she found? She found a Christmas card thanking him for spending the holidays with another woman's family. Oh. And that same time.

SPEAKER_05 11:15

And where was she at Christmas?

SPEAKER_02 11:17

At home, he said he told her that he couldn't work. Oh, he had to work. She was at home with um his two kids, which is her stepdaughters.

SPEAKER_05 11:24

Okay. Also, like wherever they're from, she took the kids, she and the kids went.

SPEAKER_02 11:31

No. Okay, you chilling here with the boys.

SPEAKER_05 11:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

Babe, I gotta work out of town.

SPEAKER_05 11:36

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

So the whole time he's working out of town. So he's trapped with the other lady.

SPEAKER_05 11:41

He's saying he travels to work.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Okay. Because they're in technology. Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay, yes. So she's at home, all right? So, and not only that, because this is a summary, but while she's at home, she finds out that he buys one of the kids, uh, her kid, the the uh mistress, buys her daughter a hoverboard. Remember the hoverboard thing? And that same Christmas, what did he buy his kids? Hoverboard. Nothing. Because he said times are too hard, and I have to work, that's why I have to work out of town so that we can make more money for the family.

SPEAKER_05 12:14

Trifling.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

Yep. And he also did Thanksgiving out of town too. Coming to find out he was with her family too. So she was like, this is the first time we spent both vacations.

SPEAKER_05 12:22

He didn't love her.

The Text That Unraveled Everything

SPEAKER_02 12:25

Right, okay. So let's move right along. So I said, uh, yeah, he had to work. So old phones and old computers. She found those because they kept the old phones and old computers. And she said that stuff revealed over a decade of cheating with at least 15 other women. Sexually explicit messages, pictures, conversations about her infertility, and even evidence that some of the women knew about her. Oh. Still in denial, she drove to Knoxville, Tennessee, tracked his location, using.

SPEAKER_05 12:59

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you say still in denial? She had to take a drive.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

Yeah. Well, she one when uh he was saying he was in Tennessee.

SPEAKER_05 13:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Okay. So she had to go this time.

SPEAKER_04 13:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

So she went to Knoxville, Tennessee, and he would drive her car. But her car is equipped with a uh GPS. So that's how she was able to find him.

SPEAKER_04 13:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

And so when she found him, she saw him at a dog park.

SPEAKER_04 13:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

Okay, with the person.

SPEAKER_04 13:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

All right. So she's sitting there with the person and she begins to film him at the dog park. But while she was filming him, she was also filming herself, starting to talk about what's going on. And she didn't go up, and she said that became cathargic, and that became like uh medit not meditation, that became therapy for her. Okay. Because, you know, just saying, you know.

SPEAKER_04 13:43

Talking through it.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

Right, talking through it because she didn't want to tell anybody. All right. And so she said she processed the whole thing in her processing the whole thing in real time, what was going on. Okay. And this part, I want to read this now, but I I want to read this later. But okay, I read it now. So she never confronted him directly about all the evidence that she had.

SPEAKER_05 14:09

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

She never confronted him directly.

SPEAKER_05 14:11

Well, it really wasn't a need.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Yeah, it wasn't, but I it kind of is.

unknown 14:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

You know, but uh until she, you know, get your stuff right. Okay. And so she told his family, packed up her life, because she told his daughters too, before she even told him. And they were the ones that told him that she knew. That yeah, oh, you cheating. He's like, no, I ain't cheating, I ain't cheating, I ain't cheating. And so she never did say hi, she knew. All right. So she began the divorce process. Then another gut punch. So before the divorce was finalized, she was um um looking through all her paperwork and found some insurance stuff. And she saw that his new mistress.

SPEAKER_05 14:53

What kind of insurance? Medical insurance. Medical insurance.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

His new mistress had a baby, and they put the baby on her insurance. And then she saw that the baby's name was the name that they had agreed upon to name their kid if they ever were lucky or blessed enough to have a baby.

SPEAKER_05 15:13

Oh, Lord.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 15:14

What is past trifling?

SPEAKER_02 15:17

Um Xiflin. That's what he was Xifling. And so after that, she canceled the insurance and stuff like that. So I guess, like, whatever was going on, they, you know, didn't pay for all that stuff because they denied some of the um claims. All right. And so she said, but when that happened, that really made her collapse in grief and all that stuff. Because it's like, here I am, can't have kids. And you give her the name of the baby that we chose.

SPEAKER_05 15:46

Right.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

And so she one point in the story she was saying she could have been petty and been like, hey, you do know that your child, your son, is named after, or or is named by.

SPEAKER_05 15:59

That probably wouldn't have mattered to those women because they just said that some of them knew about it.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Some of them knew, yeah, but I wanted this one new because this is the one he stuck with. You know, a lot of times the one you stick with, sometimes they they be the one. Like my other ones, he wants stick with and they knew about it.

SPEAKER_05 16:12

But didn't some side pieces. But did he stick with this one because there was a baby and just kind of trying to do the thing to not have it?

SPEAKER_02 16:19

Seems like this, the one that this one here in the story, like they were in it. Okay. Because he was putting his wife to the side for her.

SPEAKER_04 16:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

You know? All right, and so let's see. Um, so she said months followed. She battled headaches, weight changes, and emotional exhaustive. She scrubbed him from her digital world and rebuilt her life. She said that took a while. That took about a year. Because you think about it, you've been together for 15 years, and however long social media and all that stuff has been, he's been in every picture. Not only has he been in pictures with her, but pictures with family members that have been tagged. So she had to go through and like find everything with him and her in it together. She said she wanted to rid him of all, you know.

SPEAKER_05 17:01

To get rid of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

And she said, but it's difficult because still some friends and some family, you know, still had pictures, maybe and scrub it. Yeah. And so she found the strength to live on her own, support herself, and reclaim her independence. So he was always uh in charge of the money, so she never knew what was going on. But what she did know was that she could afford to live by herself because of her job and stuff. So eventually she started dating again slowly, and her new partner, what he does is he intentionally leaves his phone unlocked, he leaves his email open so that he can kind of and she laughs about it because she knows what he's doing. He's trying to show that you can trust me, but she's still a little skeptical about doing so. Understand. And so, um, but the trauma remains complicated, she says. Um, especially since the ex-husband passed away.

SPEAKER_04 17:53

Oh, the trifling one? Mm-hmm. Or xyphlin one?

SPEAKER_02 17:56

Yeah, xyphlin. Um so that uh that hurt me because I was like, she didn't even get to tell him, reveal the playbook. Like this is how I knew. You were so stupid. Well, you showed me. Like, after the divorce, like that's when you'd be like, ah, this is what I had.

SPEAKER_05 18:14

Oh, yeah, I would've It's kind of like playing cards. She's she's really.

SPEAKER_02 18:18

Like once you win the game, then you show all your other cards. You'd be like, oh damn, I would have lost anyway.

SPEAKER_05 18:23

I was just thinking about him opening up those credit cards. Like, was she responsible for paying those? Or like all these things that he did, like, was she ever able to do that? But he probably lied about ever able through the divorce to get her money, to get her money.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

No, no, they didn't say none of that. But he probably lied and said that, oh, I'm only making$80,000 a year, which you were probably making$200,000 a year and using the extra money. Because remember, she didn't handle any finances.

SPEAKER_05 18:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

You know what I'm saying? And he he lied so much and he opened up credit cards and paying space. In her name.

SPEAKER_05 18:54

Yeah, but her name, so to me, I would have, if it were me, I would have filed charges.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

Oh, I'm sure she did. So that's what I was wondering. Yeah, her not knowing that.

SPEAKER_05 19:04

Did she file charges?

SPEAKER_02 19:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:06

Was he, did he have to pay that? Even for the medical insurance, like that baby being added on and all those things.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

But get this, Dr. Gray, that's the lady. She is actually a professor, have been. Um, she was, even though she's in tech, she is a professor on the clinical psychology side. And she teaches couples and family therapy. So some of the family was tripping. It was like, how in the world, if you teach couple and family therapy, did your family fall apart? But she said this. She said, just because a person is a gynecologist, it doesn't um uh eliminate them from ever getting cancer. Yeah. You know, you know, uh cervical cancer.

SPEAKER_05 19:50

Or breast cancer.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_05 19:52

Yeah, I mean that.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

And I was like, yeah, I said, I like that analogy because you often hear people say, how you, you know, do this if this is your job.

SPEAKER_04 20:02

Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

You know, how you get caught up if this is your job. Just because it's my job doesn't automatically, you know, keeping it.

SPEAKER_05 20:09

No, because she wasn't dealing with something that that was a therapeutic thing. She was dealing with somebody that um was beyond therapeutic work. Like he he um the things that he was doing, I mean, for one, they were beyond mistrust. Yeah, they were illegal. Very. Um, so yeah, that that being uh she actually did use her um skills when she decided there's no need for me to confront him. Yeah, she went about it very peacefully, very appropriately to protect her own peace. I mean, she definitely did tap into her therapeutic ways because she could have gone off, right? And it could have been real ugly, but she did use her therapeutic skills and she was able to maintain um her composure and tap into those things to be able to get through that.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

To get the information she needed, but of course, her therapy she needed therapy, which is remember she's just saying how she was having these headaches and all these other problems a after the fact.

SPEAKER_04 21:18

You know? I can see.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

How would you have um or how could you imagine like I'm calling you? Yeah, I'm I'm in uh Africa feminine challenge. And then all of a sudden you watching the Beyoncé concert, or it's like the cold play, and all of a sudden you see me on like the cold play situation where that man uh was with that lady and they they put the member camera and they got caught cheating. But I was supposed to be in Africa feminine challenge.

SPEAKER_05 21:48

Uh-huh. Um, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

Well, you said you're vindictive, so next thing you'll be you'll be at somebody else's concert with somebody too.

SPEAKER_05 21:58

So No, I mean, no, no, no, no. I think that's that if dating wise, yes, I know. Dating wise, yes. You're like, what? Dating wise, I'd be like, oh, all right. That's how we that's the game we playing. And I probably would screenshot a picture of the video on what I saw online and say, and sent it to you and said, so this is what we're doing. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

You said this is in Africa. This is the challenge. What challenge was this?

SPEAKER_05 22:24

Yeah, this is what we're doing. Okay. And that's all I would have said.

SPEAKER_02 22:28

And then this is what it is.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

This is what it is.

SPEAKER_05 22:31

Because I mean, what can what could the person, you know, or whatever, say? Um, yeah, uh cheating in church. But what is so dumb is like this, I mean, he really thought he had this thing figured out. Yeah, he did. I mean, to be as bold as they had. This singer is great and da da da da da and saying all these things.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

I wish you were here right now.

SPEAKER_05 22:56

Yeah, and it's kind of like oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 22:58

And she said she was just looking up because she wanted, who is this sister he's talking about? And he and she said when she looked it up, she saw her dates of where she was. Yeah. And she said, Oh, to wait a minute. Today it says she's in Nashville.

SPEAKER_05 23:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

Not in Carolinas, or whatever he said he didn't.

SPEAKER_05 23:14

That was nothing but the Lord said, Oh, this is what you're doing in church.

SPEAKER_02 23:17

Yeah, my uh putting it on me, God said, Oh, you put this on me?

SPEAKER_05 23:19

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 23:22

Okay. You gonna put this on me? Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

So, um, yes.

SPEAKER_05 23:28

Because he was just real comfortable.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

Yeah, he was.

SPEAKER_05 23:31

Real comfortable and ziphling.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Yeah, oh, zeiflin.

SPEAKER_05 23:37

What would you do vice versa?

SPEAKER_02 23:39

Um, you know, I I'll keep my evidence and then I'll just I'll uh I'll ride with it and see what else happening.

SPEAKER_05 23:49

Would you do the same as a lady? Never say.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm once I once I got my uh once I got my my all my ingredients to bake my cake.

SPEAKER_04 24:02

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

Yeah. Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Um, right, yeah, once I got all my ingredients and they lay it out on the countertop.

SPEAKER_05 24:10

Uh-huh. And you come in, oh, we finna eat a cake.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

Yep. I'm finna bake something, all right. And it starts with this. Boom. Have a little sp a little sprinkle.

SPEAKER_05 24:20

Oh, so you setting up a whole little bacon like you really cooking.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

Mm-mm. I'm saying my ingredients. Oh, okay. So my ingredients. So here's it'll have a little sprinkle of culture at the church. Oh, and then I got a cup of your phone records. And then I got a pound of your video, which you was with her at the dog or him at the dog park.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

So I'll lay it out. But I would lay it out like uh like she did when she said she didn't say nothing until the divorce stuff was in order.

SPEAKER_05 24:50

I think yeah. I think with all that she had and all that he did and how much he had to lose, I wonder, did she think he might get a little crazy is why she didn't.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

No, I think she had doubts, which is why she went to dig deeper. And when she dug deeper, like she had doubts all along, like about him, the relationship. Okay. And so when she dug deeper, these were some things that confirmed why she felt the way she felt. Because, like you said, because she had 15 years of women that that, right.

SPEAKER_05 25:25

Yeah, so once she started digging, she was like, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Okay, oh, so this I remember this day it seemed off, but I'm just trusting you. And then, oh, and then this day was off. I'm trusting you again. You know, and so I think, you know, she started it digging deeper and it started confirming her doubts or confirming her intuitions and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

And um, and I just and I think that she just which is why she didn't go to him because she wasn't even, she was done.

SPEAKER_04 25:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

Because a lot of times I think in a relationship when somebody sees that, they feel like, okay, well, what can we do to fix this? Or even to say, was it me?

SPEAKER_05 26:02

Yeah, but that's a long time. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

Even to say, was it me? Was it me the reason why, you know, a lot of people go for that. Yeah. You know, but it was, she didn't say mentioned none of that. Of course, we, you know, who knows?

SPEAKER_04 26:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

Um, but she didn't mention it in the letter. And um, but I really think, I think she had some kind of inkling of a doubt that something was going on, which is why she kind of just played it the way she played it. But no, I would I would uh I would too, I would just hope I would I would collect all my information and um and just ride out to on the sunset, man. It is what it is.

SPEAKER_05 26:36

And I think I don't know, and I know there are lots of ladies out there where their spouses um handle all the finance. You need to know something. Yeah. Um, I just don't believe in just allowing someone just to have control of all the money and you not to to know what's going on. What's going in? Yeah, what's going in, what's going out, periodically checking your own credit to see what cards are there, what's going on.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Because even if it ain't him, it could be a scammer from outside somewhere could just be going through shit.

SPEAKER_05 27:14

I just, yeah, and and I don't know. I just, you know, people, people what you say all the time, people disappoint y'all every day.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Yeah. I mean, the people, what I say is humans will do the human thing. They're either gonna disappoint you or they're going to, you know, make you feel comfortable and happy. They have the propensity to do that. That's just human nature. You have the propensity to either make somebody either disappoint someone or you have it to make that person happy. You just do. It's a 50-50 chance off the rip.

SPEAKER_05 27:46

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

So.

Investigation, Finances, And No Confrontation

SPEAKER_05 27:48

And sometimes it's unintentional, but things, you know, things happen. But I don't know. I just think for women who I know that some women maybe stay, like, and for her, she, if I'm not a stay, I understand some people are like stay-at-home moms. So if the money's not, you're not really bringing in the money.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

Yeah, she's bringing it in, too.

SPEAKER_05 28:07

Yeah, but she was bringing in the money. And I mm-mm.

SPEAKER_02 28:11

He was probably spending some of hers.

SPEAKER_05 28:12

Oh, I mean, probably spending a lot of hers.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

On that, on that chick.

SPEAKER_05 28:16

On all the chicks.

SPEAKER_02 28:17

Oh, yeah, all the chicks. I forgot.

SPEAKER_05 28:18

All the chicks. Another chick is expensive, but all chicks, that's really expensive. If, if, if how can he do that? If I go to work every day in my life, I need to know.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

That's that's hard.

SPEAKER_05 28:31

15 chicks?

SPEAKER_02 28:33

That's a lot. That's a lot of people not knowing where to eat. But if you're gotta decide 15 chicks where to eat. But that's a lot.

SPEAKER_05 28:43

But if you um are doing all that traveling, I mean, that's what made it easy because he traveled all the time and she just trusted that he was traveling for work.

SPEAKER_03 28:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 28:55

And he had um booze and all the places.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

He had a pinky ring on and he put on his cologne like this.

SPEAKER_05 29:03

And a rat tail. That's that's what he did.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

When you when you travel like and put your cologne on like that, you gotta watch out for them latest.

SPEAKER_05 29:13

I wonder how he died.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

On top of me. Ain't that what it's how he died. On top of that. On top of me.

SPEAKER_05 29:25

Wasn't doing nothing good.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

He ran out of gas. He hit that 100 mile.

SPEAKER_05 29:30

And the poor thing is those kids his children probably got used to her. And I wonder how that relationship. Oh, he cut it.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

I bet he cut him out, kicked him out. Get out! Man. Get out of my house. Oh, they felt sorry for him, probably. You know, they was like, yo, my dad's trifling.

SPEAKER_04 29:46

Mm-hmm. So I don't know. I wonder where their mama was.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

Oh, but it was cheating in 4K. He got caught on live screen.

SPEAKER_05 29:55

Yeah, that's what a little Xiflin butt gave.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

Xiflin. Ziflin. That was just a m. Yep. Yeah. She had to she had to turn into her investigative powers.

SPEAKER_05 30:07

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 30:08

Yeah. Then, you know, like recently, one of my friends shared a story about one of her investigative powers. Yeah. And similar to Mr. Xiflin.

SPEAKER_02 30:19

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 30:20

This one got a little bold too.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

And you know what that's I I thought about that when I was reading, I said, mm-hmm. I said, this is crazy.

SPEAKER_05 30:28

This um must be the season. Now, Xyphlin was different. I mean, like, Xyphlin, that's Xyphlin. Now, this other one's Triflin. Yeah. But Xyphlin is in a whole other brand. Well, let me say. Because we know, yeah, they close because she told us all about Xiflin. Now, Triflin. We don't really know we don't know all that trifling might be up to.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Because he could, right, he could. This is caught stuff. Yeah. Trifling is caught stuff. Xyphlin is shared stuff. Yeah. Of being caught.

SPEAKER_05 30:58

Yeah. So, like one of uh my friends, they had an incident where she realized that one of her friends was dating a guy who already was living with somebody. And she asked me, should um she tell her friend? And I said, of course. And she said, I said, if it were you, would you want her to tell you? And she said, Yeah. And I go, well, then you have to tell her.

SPEAKER_02 31:30

I would say.

SPEAKER_05 31:31

And uh I said, so you have to tell her, you know, and I said, then she can decide what she wants to do with the information. But um I think she'd be more hurt to know that you knew, and then you let her sit up and and deal with this person a little while longer than maybe she wanted to. And then, you know, you can tell her, and if she decides that's, you know, she alright with sharing, then you did your part. And so she did tell her. And um the person was she was very disappointed and upset, and she said she was so happy. She told her she said, if I didn't think you were a real friend before, I definitely know you're a real friend now. Um, and so she's deciding what she wants to do about the whole um situation. Um, so um, yeah, but definitely live with somebody and then had the nerve to say uh he lived with his cousin. And his cousin had a daughter, and they didn't want to have women in and out, so that's why she couldn't come to the house. So he had lots of stories too, just like Xiflin. Xiflin. Just like Mr. Ziflin. So yeah, it's it's um our cousin um who is out in the dating world, uh, Fugger, she said it's hard in these dating streets. I know it is.

SPEAKER_02 32:52

So uh because social media makes it so easy for you to link up with people. You know, back in the days it was it was uh you had to, I mean, you could still cheat, but you think about meeting somebody.

SPEAKER_05 33:05

Yeah, you weren't gonna meet so many people.

SPEAKER_02 33:07

Right. You had to meet somebody through somebody a lot of times. It took a little time.

SPEAKER_05 33:10

Or you went to a party, but it was really community-wise. It wasn't like you could meet somebody in in Oklahoma and then travel to Oklahoma and see them like now there's access to travel to places and you can meet people all over. Right.

SPEAKER_02 33:25

So if you want to cheat, you can you can have a cheating filter, meaning that only people outside a 50-mile radius. You know, I'm only gonna cheat at Oklahoma, I'm only gonna cheat in in Vegas or wherever. Yeah, it's it's it's a lot easier now. Um, yeah. Um, these streets are something else.

SPEAKER_05 33:41

I'm sorry for people that I hope y'all can find the love of your life.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

You'll find it, you'll find it.

SPEAKER_05 33:46

You're gonna find it. Just just pay attention to the red flags. If you're dating somebody and they don't ever let you come to their house, yeah. Red flag.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

He either cheating or homeless. One of the other one or the two.

SPEAKER_05 34:02

Or he lived with his mama.

SPEAKER_02 34:03

I don't know. But even with his mama, a lot of times you still want to come to the house. You probably can't stay over and sleep. But he's gonna be like, hey, you know, come over to my mama.

SPEAKER_05 34:12

But he could be like trying to pretend like he's more than what he is.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

And if he tells you that you live with mama that. Well, yeah, oh yeah, if he don't want to do that, then yeah, get him up out of there. If they don't want you to come by, period.

SPEAKER_05 34:21

No, that's don't, don't do it. Don't do it because something isn't right.

SPEAKER_02 34:26

Now, fellas, it's different if the girl don't want you to come by, because she still might think you're a little psychopath. And she's trying to be safe. But as I want that joker to know where I live.

SPEAKER_05 34:34

But at some point.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

Yeah, at some point. Now, if you don't already scrubbed each other's insides and outsides, then she don't want you to come over, then cut her to the curve. She's dumb.

SPEAKER_05 34:47

Yeah, there's something going on.

SPEAKER_02 34:49

Yeah, it's yeah, cut her to the curve.

SPEAKER_05 34:50

Because to what I hear to the curve. I mean what I hear, the women are just as trifling as the men.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Oh, yes. And y'all think y'all are more sneaky, like to say, men, women cheat better. Child, please. Y'all don't cheat better. Y'all cheat too. Men cheat, yeah, and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_05 35:08

But I think everybody, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 35:10

Y'all just be careful out there. Just pay attention to the red flags.

SPEAKER_02 35:14

She should have called Tammy. Cha.

SPEAKER_05 35:18

Don't call Tammy.

SPEAKER_02 35:19

Yeah, she should have called Tammy or Tamar on that show.

SPEAKER_05 35:23

Please. Do not call Tamar.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

But what is it called? Caught in the act?

SPEAKER_05 35:27

Tamar is a massive. Have y'all ever watched that show?

SPEAKER_02 35:31

That's I love that show.

SPEAKER_05 35:33

She is funny on that show. She is amazing. I love that show.

SPEAKER_02 35:37

The funniest one to me was when that guy was hired, that personal trainer, and that man was giving him. Did we talk about that last week? Uh-uh. The man was giving him uh, he thought he was getting weight loss gummies, but they were regular gummies. What I was saying.

SPEAKER_05 35:51

Yeah, they were regular gummy bears.

SPEAKER_02 35:53

And weight loss shape, but he was getting weight gainer shape, so he could use the guy more.

SPEAKER_05 35:58

He paid that man thousands of dollars over a time period. And they they caught him in the garage with a big bag of gummy bears, and he had bought the white plastic peel containers and was making his own labels. And they think they taking uh um uh fat burner um gummies, and in actuality, it's just regular old gummy bears.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

Yeah, like sour worms and ketchup.

SPEAKER_05 36:20

He was so hurt when he saw that man. I mean, he jumped on that man so fast. I was like, buddy. That is a mess. People you that's what I say. People do you never know.

SPEAKER_02 36:31

That's supposed to be one like And that was supposed to be his friend.

SPEAKER_05 36:33

Yeah, that was his friend.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

Well, it was the girl was his friend. She started dating the trainer, and they all became friends, yeah, and became friends, and so she was mad because the girl knew that the trainer was being attracted to me.

SPEAKER_05 36:44

Yes, because they were childhood friends. Childhood friends. And she knew.

SPEAKER_02 36:49

And she knew.

SPEAKER_05 36:49

And she didn't tell them.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

She let it. That thing. That thing. See, people be look, y'all gotta stop letting that thing have control over y'all. I say that to don't I say that to the boys all the time.

SPEAKER_05 37:01

Yeah, mistreat the people you the people that really love you.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

I tell them, don't let that thing whip you too much where you it you ain't thinking straight. Hey, mm-mm. I don't care what they say. Now that thing with a rain, it can whip you. That thing with a rain, hey, it'll have you thinking crazy. Oh my god, it'll have you over talking at the beginning of the podcast.

SPEAKER_05 37:24

Child, y'all heard him.

SPEAKER_02 37:26

The thing with a rain. Something serious.

SPEAKER_05 37:30

What did he have? Doritos dipped in crack. And I'm fiending. Lord have mercy. Child, be quiet. Moving on.

SPEAKER_02 37:39

All right. So let's get on to um, so this week is the, well, this week coming up, the week that y'all are listening to the pod. Um oh, and those of you that would be traveling, you'll have a lot of stuff to listen to. Either while you're standing in TSA line, waiting on your flight. I'm not even gonna say that your flight gets canceled, but you know, we're gonna pray about it. But driving on the road, yeah, our stuff is family friendly.

SPEAKER_05 38:06

It sure is.

SPEAKER_02 38:06

Yeah, I think we only probably say like two cuss words.

SPEAKER_05 38:08

Yeah, maybe down.

SPEAKER_02 38:10

Yeah. Three now. Ass. Four. And so, um, but you can listen to it the whole trip. Yeah. Yep, the whole trip. Yep, yep, sure can. But anyway, okay. So this week at school, um, they sent it out to the teachers only. So, you know, the kids have their like homecoming week, they'll dress up as twins and sport day or as uh character day, all that stuff.

SPEAKER_05 38:33

What are y'all doing it for?

SPEAKER_02 38:35

Because it's an it's another way of like anytime before a break.

SPEAKER_05 38:38

Oh, y'all do some kind of like a spirit week.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

They call it uh what do they call it? Undercover or hidden something like that. Oh, okay. Hidden Spirit Week or undercover.

SPEAKER_05 38:46

But only the teachers doing it, not the students. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 38:49

Right, right. And so they was like, don't tell the kids, you know. So only teachers, so Monday is like pajama day.

SPEAKER_05 38:55

Don't tell the kids.

SPEAKER_02 38:56

No. Oh, okay. No. Only um only Monday, Monday is pajama day. And then uh You gotta get some pajamas.

SPEAKER_05 39:03

Do you have pajamas for that?

SPEAKER_02 39:04

No, I want some, I wanted some real pajamas, like either Fabletics or Comfort pajamas, but you know, I'm not gonna wear no regular street pajamas. Because my pajamas gotta be different. Gotta be pajamas everybody gonna have. Because kids wear pajamas every day, so I'm gonna be dressing like them on a regular. You know what I mean? But if you wear something that's really fly, but dang, okay. I need to step my pajama game up, you know.

SPEAKER_05 39:24

Fabletics has pajamas?

SPEAKER_02 39:26

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 39:26

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

Yeah. They had the the Christmas.

SPEAKER_05 39:28

Oh, we can go to the alley.

Naming The Baby And Processing Trauma

SPEAKER_02 39:29

That's what I'm gonna say. You can go to the alley. Okay. But anyway, um, they got guess what Thursday is. Red khaki and red day to dress up like you work in a lumberjack? No, like you, that's Friday.

SPEAKER_05 39:47

Y'all, y'all ain't dressing up like a lumberjack.

SPEAKER_02 39:50

That's Friday. Even beard.

SPEAKER_05 39:53

Really?

SPEAKER_02 39:53

Yeah. Oh my god. But Thursday is target day. Dress up like Target employee. We don't do that.

SPEAKER_05 40:02

We don't.

SPEAKER_02 40:02

No, we don't. Um, but Monday is pajama. I forgot what the other two days are.

SPEAKER_05 40:10

Who thought a lumberjack?

SPEAKER_02 40:12

I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 40:12

Who is in charge? Who's in charge?

SPEAKER_02 40:15

Come on now. You know who who ain't in charge.

SPEAKER_05 40:18

Lumberjack and target day.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 40:21

Okay, so what's Tuesday?

SPEAKER_01 40:23

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

I don't remember. Yeah, I don't remember.

SPEAKER_05 40:28

I would not even be participating.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

And you know, pretty much I'm not. But um That's a shame. Yeah. But uh, you know how it is?

SPEAKER_05 40:39

A lumberjack.

SPEAKER_02 40:40

Yeah. So, but anyway.

SPEAKER_05 40:42

Oh, uh I wonder if one of the days dressed like the kids. I've seen a lot of things.

SPEAKER_02 40:46

No, they're not doing that.

SPEAKER_05 40:46

Kids on TikTok.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

I mean, I would I would probably do that one. So I could dress up like the kids, you know, um with uh my hoodie on, my headphones, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 40:58

Um what else they do?

SPEAKER_02 40:59

I probably well, I wouldn't wear no blanket.

SPEAKER_05 41:01

Yeah, you have to do a blanket.

SPEAKER_02 41:03

Well I'll have to get a pair of Kahari's pants and wear some real tight pants or something like that. Um because you know they be wearing that.

SPEAKER_04 41:10

Kahari don't have no tight pants anymore.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

Oh, yes, he does.

unknown 41:14

What type?

SPEAKER_04 41:15

Oh, be quiet.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

No, man. He don't oh, he don't have no tight pants on him. Nope. Oh, oh, he because he liked to wear He likes his pants baggy.

SPEAKER_05 41:23

He don't have any more tight pants.

SPEAKER_02 41:24

I tried I be trying to help him up to wearing his pants. My student today told me, she said, Coachel, you've been PT PT PTSO and all uh P You've been PTSO and all week. I said, Oh, okay, I appreciate that. What is that? Putting that sh on. Oh. You know, with the dress, how you dress.

SPEAKER_05 41:46

I told you. I said, whoa, what you trying to be cute today.

SPEAKER_02 41:50

Yeah, I just felt like I.

SPEAKER_05 41:51

He was cute all week, honey.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

So what am I to up?

SPEAKER_05 41:54

So who he looking cute for?

SPEAKER_02 41:56

Looking cute for you. But you said you was coming to my job. I was gonna try to pick up that job.

SPEAKER_05 42:01

So um he was on, I had to go to his job to do um uh a meeting. And so I um had on my little black knee boots with a heel on, and he was like, I got to put on some of my tennis shoes. They got a little um not a heel, but a little more height to it. A little more height to it because they're gonna say Coach Hare's wife taller than him. Yeah, you want them to have me look it all crazy. I didn't see him anyways. He was too busy.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

Yeah, that's what I do. Yeah, I didn't know. He's busy, Nelson.

SPEAKER_05 42:30

He was too busy.

SPEAKER_02 42:31

All right, so let's talk about since we're talking about uh people dressing up, right? And I forgot to talk about this during uh Halloween. Yeah, during Halloween. But um, I remember growing up, and you know, we didn't, and you know, people used to think we were rich. Um, but primarily because, you know, I don't know why. But we weren't rich.

SPEAKER_05 42:56

You don't know what was in your parents' pocketbooks.

SPEAKER_02 42:59

I know, I know sometime mama when the gas man came out and she told me she said, uh, write the check for the gas, but ask them, can we only pay$50? Oh, okay. Instead of filling up the whole tank. Normally, I think it was like almost$90 to fill up the tank, and that'll last for a long time. Okay. Tell them we can only do that. And I remember saying them calling the phone people and saying, can we pay a little now and then pay some more?

SPEAKER_04 43:23

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

I remember that.

SPEAKER_04 43:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 43:26

You know what I'm saying? So and I remember them saying, we can't do this because we gotta wait till payday. Okay. And then we'll be able to buy whatever. We can't pay for a baseball until, you know. So I know a little something that was in their pockets, you know. Um, but anyway.

SPEAKER_05 43:42

Anyways.

SPEAKER_02 43:43

When it came to stuff like Halloween.

SPEAKER_05 43:45

Yes. All right. Um Now Halloween was my mom's favorite. It's one of her favorite little holidays. So when it came to costumes, we were gonna have costumes. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 43:58

Now we had costumes.

SPEAKER_05 43:59

Yeah, but they were. Were they purchased?

SPEAKER_02 44:02

No.

SPEAKER_05 44:02

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_02 44:03

I was not purchased. Because for us, for us, black folk, period. Well, I don't know, I know black folks in the country. Whereby is a hobo. Yes. My brother was a big boy. I was a hobo once. But I'm saying we could just buy a mask and walk around in regular clothes. Like I had this on, put a mask on. And it's like, oh, then you see that cool mask he had. And that's it. And you was the character just because you had the mask and jeans and a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_05 44:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 44:27

So, and you know the mask wasn't expensive, but it was the plastic little mask. Yeah, that it was sweaty. And you hated putting on a mask that somebody else, let me what uh, you know. Because their breath was stinking. Their breath was stanking. And their mask stank. And then sometimes you kept the mask and you had to use it for the next year. But the rubber band broke. So they would take, put a little hold and tie it on there. But that don't fit the same, because you know, if you tie it and it slip, you gotta keep pulling it up. But the rubber band keeps pressure on that.

SPEAKER_05 44:54

Well, I will say for Halloween, I did always get a new costume. I mean, costumes have come a long way since we were little. I mean, I remember the like the little plastic mask in the front and like a little something on the bottom that came, you know, that you bought. It wasn't, yeah. So I would get a a costume every year because Halloween was um my mama liked Halloween.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

So tell me some of the things that you dressed up in.

SPEAKER_05 45:19

Gosh, I can't even remember. Like the little white princess plastic face. You remember that little plastic face? She had blonde hair.

SPEAKER_02 45:24

Was it Cinderella? Because I think it was the Cinderella one was everybody was Cinderella.

SPEAKER_05 45:29

Yeah, yeah. I had that. I had that. I remember one time being a witch, and I had the witch dress and the black wig and uh painted my face green. Um, yeah, I had that. I'm trying to think of what else I've that I was for Halloween. I can't remember all things, but I was always something.

SPEAKER_02 45:52

Yeah, we was always something.

SPEAKER_05 45:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:54

But whether it was But it was purchased. Yeah, no, not for the.

SPEAKER_05 45:57

Now, for the boys, I remember everybody was that devil thing. The plastic devil mask. They had the red, black.

SPEAKER_02 46:04

I had that. And one year I had to pitch for it.

SPEAKER_05 46:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:06

I was bummed. I had to pitch for it.

SPEAKER_05 46:08

I'm trying to think whatever else. I remember my brother was a hobo.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 46:12

Uh remember that.

SPEAKER_02 46:13

I was a hobo several times.

SPEAKER_05 46:14

We had Halloween parties. My mama would do little activities with the kids in the neighborhood, and we would do that, and then we would go trick-or-treating. The church that was like a block up from us, they always had where the kids in the neighborhood could come and do activities there. So we would stop by there and then go trick-or-treat.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Our churches didn't do it. No, we had mom's mom and daddy's friends, like Angie M and all that, they would come to the house so that the kids would walk with us in our community. Because, you know, they lived in Mills, Mills at the house too far away to walk, you know. But in Beulah Heights, everybody, and then everybody knew everybody. So it was always, we start at my house, then we go pick up Tony now, and then we go over there, like if Visa was at Teeny's, and then whoever was on the other corner, my cousin now, and then it would just be like 50 kids just walking.

SPEAKER_05 47:05

Now my brother would first, they would make my brother take me first, but he'd take me real quick, and then he go do like, you know, his trick-or-treat. And then my daddy would take me around to all his friends' houses where you where I would get whole candy bars and money.

Red Flags, Modern Dating, And Boundaries

SPEAKER_02 47:19

Now I ain't getting on that.

SPEAKER_05 47:20

And my daddy would, I would so it'd be just me and my me and my daddy were around.

SPEAKER_02 47:24

We'd get regular little candy bo candies and stuff like that. Um and they weren't doing no bag snatching. No bag snatching. We had bag snatching. No bag snatching. If you snatched the bag in our neighborhood, you was gonna get beat down. Like, and like because everybody was gonna chase you to find out who you were, uh-huh, and then the bigger cousin or whoever it was was gonna take up for you getting that candy snatch. So we didn't play that in the world.

SPEAKER_05 47:48

There was a certain time when candy the bag snatching would happen, and so you knew be done by that time. Do you remember when we worked at um Blair and Dr. Harrison had told the kids, she told the students the day before Halloween, she goes, I know you all are going trick-or-treating. She says, Please leave your candy at home. You are welcome to bring a few pieces to have for your lunch. But if anybody brings a full bag of candy, I am going to take it. She took it. So listen, in the morning, um, there, all the kids at a certain time before school started, they met in the gym in a line, grade level by teacher. Um, and so they were all in the gym, and um, all of a sudden, here she comes and she says, Good morning, boys and girls. I need for everybody to unzip their backpacks and hold it open. And she went down the rows. And when I say she took the candy, she meant it. Boys and girls, she took it and she did not give it back.

SPEAKER_02 49:01

Nope.

SPEAKER_05 49:02

And those children were so hurt, she said, I told you yesterday, do not bring that candy to school. She said, So if you brought it, this is the consequence. So all year, and she and so then she um told the teachers in a staff meeting, um, I have plenty of candy. So at any point y'all need a little picking me up, please feel free to just walk into my office and get all the candy that you need. Yeah. And so all year, we was always coming and getting candy.

SPEAKER_02 49:35

I used to go to the office every day just to get candy.

SPEAKER_05 49:38

We had candy.

SPEAKER_02 49:39

I love it.

SPEAKER_05 49:40

Now, when we think about Halloween now, what?

SPEAKER_02 49:42

Oh no, I said, Do you remember at that school when we did the hunted house?

SPEAKER_05 49:46

I didn't do the haunted house.

SPEAKER_02 49:48

We did the hunted house at the school. I didn't do that. Because upstairs we did the uh she allowed us to we put plastic and so the kids would walk up from that far end by the the entrance where the bird chased me all the way to the end that goes to the library. And they was able to, and so people would stand in y'all's classrooms upstairs, yeah, and they would jump out at the kids. Yeah, and we had plastic separating the sections. Yeah. So she she bought us uh uh like you know, plasti like regular plastic that you would you use put on the floor for painting and stuff like that. And we put uh lights and stuff in there, we had flashing lights, and I was like, which it was my idea. And she went with it, and it was so good. Yeah, I didn't know. It was probably out in them streets then, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 50:31

I probably was out in the streets.

SPEAKER_02 50:32

In them streets.

SPEAKER_05 50:33

But yeah, I don't remember that. But I will say now Halloween is so different because these children, I mean, they get some elaborate costumes.

SPEAKER_02 50:42

Hold on, I ain't say about mine.

SPEAKER_05 50:44

What costume?

SPEAKER_02 50:45

My costume.

SPEAKER_05 50:46

When?

SPEAKER_02 50:46

Growing up.

SPEAKER_05 50:47

You said you was a hobo and you said you was the devil.

SPEAKER_02 50:50

That's all I was. Okay, yeah. What else were you at? I was that for one Christmas. Oh, okay. Oh, sorry.

SPEAKER_05 50:54

What else were you at?

SPEAKER_02 50:55

All right. My other, I was Dracula one time.

SPEAKER_05 50:57

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 50:58

And I wore my daddy's smoking jacket.

SPEAKER_05 51:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 51:00

Yeah, I wore my daddy's smoking jacket, and my mama put some red lipstick right there for blood.

SPEAKER_05 51:04

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 51:04

And I had plastic teeth.

SPEAKER_05 51:06

Your daddy had a smoking jacket?

SPEAKER_02 51:07

Yep, had a smoking jacket.

SPEAKER_05 51:08

Every man can Vietnam.

SPEAKER_02 51:12

You know, with an Afro had a smoking jacket.

SPEAKER_05 51:14

I'll say Calvin Hare.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

Yeah, they had no smoking jackets. And then I was a ghost.

SPEAKER_05 51:18

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 51:19

And you know what my costume was?

SPEAKER_05 51:21

A sheet.

SPEAKER_02 51:22

Yep. And then another year, I was a ghost with all white uh sweatpants and sweatshirt on.

SPEAKER_05 51:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 51:29

I was a fitness ghost.

SPEAKER_05 51:31

You were not.

SPEAKER_02 51:32

I was a ghost, but she said, what do you? She said, a ghost. And so she went to uh uh like Fred's and bought me a white sweatshirt and white um bottoms and said you a ghost.

SPEAKER_05 51:46

Now Linda You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Linda Hare.

SPEAKER_02 51:51

The next year I was a mine. So I couldn't talk to nobody.

SPEAKER_05 51:57

And your face was painted. Yeah. I bet you were all into it.

SPEAKER_02 52:00

Another white sweatshirt and sweatpants. So it was like less than$10.

SPEAKER_05 52:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 52:05

Um, and then uh one time I went, and guess what I was?

SPEAKER_04 52:09

What?

SPEAKER_02 52:09

I was an usher.

SPEAKER_04 52:11

Like church.

SPEAKER_02 52:11

So I wore my Usher pen and my white gloves. And she said, look, be an usher. And I would go to people. And I would go to people's houses. And just do like that. Tell them give me candy. Cause I had to, I couldn't go mad. So I'm like, oh well. But some of my fits were better than other kids. Cause some kids, they just one one of my homeboy, he had a big shirt on.

SPEAKER_04 52:38

And what was he?

SPEAKER_02 52:39

His daddy. And the um the uh car shirt. You know, when you work at the uh the like a uh mechanics.

SPEAKER_05 52:51

I said, What do you?

SPEAKER_02 52:51

I'm my daddy, and we walking around.

SPEAKER_05 52:53

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 52:54

Kids be their mama.

SPEAKER_05 52:55

Who are you, little boy?

SPEAKER_02 52:56

And they got a wig on. I'm my daddy. Yeah. They got a wig on, they they mama. My great grandparents had the best uh a few times they would pass out uh drumette, uh-huh, fried chicken, and you would see the uh whole robe be filled with chicken bone. But they would put like three pieces of chicken in the um in the baggies, and kids would come and get that chicken and get on up out of there. And um, that was this thing. We used to Bigfoot used to live, well, the actual, we thought the actual Bigfoot lived uh around the corner from the club. And so, I mean, even if it wasn't Halloween, when you rolled your bike, you rolled around that curve real fast. Because we always, growing up, Bigfoot, side squats lived in the woods, which people say they saw them. And I'm talking people that we believe say they saw them. And I think I saw them a few times too, you know. I think I did. Because I saw something in the woods, and it was big. So we would run from Bigfoot, and then people's dogs would be out, and we would run from the dogs and stuff like that. So it was good times growing up.

SPEAKER_04 54:00

Y'all did not see a lot.

SPEAKER_02 54:01

And then one time I was in the 11th grade, had just got my car.

SPEAKER_04 54:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 54:06

And um, so no, 12th grade when daddy got me that car. And this guy, he played football with us, but he got uh he played with Kirks, I'm sorry. And he got paralyzed. And um, and he driving around, he had the uh a beretta. It was a beretta car. But berettas came out, and the the city gave it to him. And on the top, he had the wheelchair thing on there. So, you know, he would get out and push the little button of the wheelchair, pop down, boom, and you get in. And so it was like a, it looked like a vein or Vans had that big uh covered thing. That's what it looked like on top. So he riding around with that, and he got friends in his car, and they egging people. And they egged my car. I went in Pigly Wiggly's, got a 9-1-1 on the payphone, told the police what it was, and I said, I'm standing right here, y'all better go. And they just kept egging my car. And I said, Don't worry about it. I called the police, I'm like, No, you didn't? The police pulled up. But the police didn't do nothing because, you know, it's a small town. He's a uh hometown hero. You know, but I let them know. And they was like, man, he's like, man, all right, man, I'll the police said, Well, we can't press charges. And he said, Keefe, man, why are you doing it? I said, I told you. I was crying. Oh, I just got their car. It was painted. Look at they already got it chip. Ain't nobody gave no, they gave you a damn car. Ain't nobody give you a pay for this car. And so, and uh, they was like, Well, all right, well, can y'all wipe it off? He couldn't wipe it off because he's in the wheelchair. Yeah. So he got his friends out there, he wiped it off. And, you know, they knew not to say nothing because my, you know, everybody knows my dad and stuff, and my dad do a lot for the community. So, but and people was like, Man, you done told you called a 911 on the wheelchair. I said, You right.

SPEAKER_05 55:46

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 55:47

He messed up my car.

SPEAKER_05 55:48

He wasn't acting like a wheelchair person.

SPEAKER_02 55:51

So everybody knows who that was.

SPEAKER_05 55:53

He was being ziyed.

SPEAKER_02 55:54

Man, if you listen yet my whole time, you listening. Yep, I called the police on smoking. He egged my car.

SPEAKER_05 56:02

They probably thought you was just pretending.

SPEAKER_02 56:05

They probably did, but I was for real. Because I was like, man, I work hard, you know. But you know my dad.

SPEAKER_05 56:10

You didn't work hard, your butt your parents bought the car.

SPEAKER_02 56:13

Well, I work hard to do right. Right, okay. You know, and like you just egging my car. So my car now, all the chips and my car, I used to wash that. You know, when you get your first, because that was my first real car. My first car was my mama's car that I couldn't let go of the steering wheel because I go in a ditch. And I had the the uh spoon hanging on the steering wheel because that's how I used to hunt the horn. I take that spoon and hit that metal uh screw and it would hunt the horn. That was my first car. But then when they got that car, the Sentra, it was painted and it was gifted to me like this is yours. I was like, oh, I watched it every weekend.

SPEAKER_05 56:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:50

Every weekend. And he's gonna do that to me.

SPEAKER_05 56:52

How blessed you are to get such a nice car. I've always paid for my own car.

SPEAKER_02 56:57

Hey.

SPEAKER_05 57:04

My first car was given to me, but it was just like your mama's first car, the tempo I got. I had a Ford tempo. Oh child, that thing was a mess. Yeah. But I was happy to drive it. I was too. But then I um wanted something that had air conditioning. Oh. Um, and I wanted something that had a radio that had more than just AM. And I was like, well, my mom said, I said, if I work, can I buy, can I buy myself a car? And they were like, yes. So I worked and I bought my own car.

SPEAKER_02 57:34

I wasn't gonna get a car if I had to work and pay for it because I was playing sports too much.

SPEAKER_05 57:38

I was a cheerleader dancer.

SPEAKER_02 57:41

I'm talking about I was playing sports. Oh baseball, yeah, football, and soccer.

SPEAKER_05 57:46

No, I didn't have that many activities.

SPEAKER_02 57:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 57:48

But yeah, so that I did. I was uh every car that I've had, I've paid for it.

SPEAKER_02 57:54

That's good. One day I'm gonna be able to give you the key, like look at this.

SPEAKER_00 58:02

You're like, for me? So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:05

And it's gonna be out of some discretionary. I was gonna say because your money is my money, but I'm saying it's gonna be something that was like all of a sudden, you know, this kind of money that came out. Unexpected money. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 58:17

Unexpected money. Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:18

And it won't be where we done went look for the car.

SPEAKER_05 58:21

Okay.

Hidden Spirit Week And School Life

SPEAKER_02 58:21

Yeah, it's gonna be where like if I buy you some shoes. Oh, I bought you some shoes. Oh, thank you. Like that, oh, I bought you a car. What'd you say? What you say? I bought you a car right out front. Filled with gas.

SPEAKER_05 58:32

All right.

SPEAKER_02 58:33

Yep. Now, what you was gonna say about the kids now.

SPEAKER_05 58:36

I was gonna say nowadays for the kids for Halloween, there these costumes are so elaborate, and parents spend a pretty penny on costumes. Um, I mean, I can't even imagine. But we weren't doing that. No, and they weren't also weren't available. Well, maybe they were available somebody. I shouldn't say that because there probably were places where kids did have elaborate costumes, perhaps. But um now it's just like a big to-do these costumes these children get.

SPEAKER_03 59:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 59:07

And then this year, everybody was on the kick of the whole family dress in a theme.

SPEAKER_02 59:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 59:12

I know there's so many people.

SPEAKER_02 59:13

Yeah, we wouldn't, my family wouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_05 59:15

Oh no. First of all, we spend all that money, they be real clothes, is what we're buying. Right.

SPEAKER_02 59:22

What y'all dressed up at? The Cosby Show. Right. Good times.

SPEAKER_05 59:27

Yeah, good times. Oh, what else we dressed up at? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:31

But you remember what we used to, what our trick was for the boys? And we did it every What did we tell? After Halloween, what did we do?

SPEAKER_04 59:41

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 59:42

We would go, like Old Navy, get those costumes when they was on discount. Oh yeah. And we would get like four costumes each, wouldn't we?

SPEAKER_05 59:51

Well, they were little.

SPEAKER_02 59:52

Yeah, because they would have dress up. But the boys like to dress up at home, too. Yeah, but they would, but it just it was like the thing. It was, it was, you know, how most. People say, well, I have to buy such such cost. Wait till Halloween? Get all them princesses, dinosaurs, and all that stuff. And now you got a freaking closet full of stuff that was like 75% off, 80% off.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:12

Yeah, we did that when they were little, then probably about kindergarten, first grade is when they started. Like little, like we did little, but when they were kindergarten, first grade, they got to go choose what they wanted.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:23

But they still say we still bought, remember, because we were in the house and we had the snow day in um the house we were renting. Remember, they put on a costume because they was like, ooh, let's do this. You know, because they had the costumes that we had already. They love to put on a good show for us. We always purchase uh costumes after Halloween season.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:41

Yeah, because then they can have for pretend and all that.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:45

They would use them for uh pajamas and stuff like that. Mm-hmm. Yep. So that was our little trip down memory lane. Yeah. So hopefully, if y'all had any costumes like us, you know, I had a big shirt. I was my daddy one time. I mean, my friend with my daddy, I was an usher.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:03

I wonder what else people were. We know we said the hobo. I bet it was some clowns. Some busts people were some clowns.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:11

I don't that was.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:12

I knew a lady looked like a clown, but that was her regular man.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:14

Probably some grandmas. The hobo.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:16

People dressed up as a grandma. That was her regular. Now you know what granny used to do?

SPEAKER_05 1:01:20

What?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:20

When we would come over for stuff like that, she would she would uh scare everybody.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:25

I could see her doing it.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:26

She would scare everybody. Did she take a her false teeth out?

SPEAKER_05 1:01:29

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:29

And then she would run and chase the kids when they would come to the house for a trick-or-treat or whatever. And I mean, she would do that. And my mama was fast, so she would, when you take off running, you would know back where we live, it we only had that one light that was by Mike, you know, in the corner. Uh-huh. So you run and hit trees, bushes, and all that kind of stuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:48

Uh uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:49

Those were the good times.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:50

Good times. Good old times. Good times.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:52

Good old times.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:53

And next week is. Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:56

No, week after. Yeah, two weeks is Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:59

Oh, we save Thanksgiving talk for next week.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:00

Yeah, because we'll film and then we'll talk about the road. Yes. But we're going to probably have to film too, because we gotta film something to release while we're away. Yeah. Maybe we'll release an episode on Thanksgiving. So Thanksgiving morning, so people have something to listen to when they're cooking.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:18

Yeah. Y'all gonna listen to us while y'all cooking.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:21

Yeah, we're gonna talk about food and stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:23

Yeah. Share some good recipes.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:25

Mm-hmm. Good old stuff. All right, so um side eye of the week.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:35

What's your side eye of the week?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:37

My side eye of the week. Um I really did did I have one? It was it was something that went on, and I said, I'm gonna I'm gonna I got a side eye this. Uh oh, I'm in physical therapy. You know, getting my therapy on, getting getting all therapized. And this little kid just running around, playing with all the like the therapy balls and stuff, just in not getting therapy, he with his mama, who's there for the daughter who's doing therapy.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:09

Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:10

But she's just letting him run all around. Yes, just letting him run. I'm talking about he's running all around, kicking the soccer ball, and I'm like jumping out the way. Watch out, kid, watch out. And then letting him do, you know, what he do. Lil Tommy. Yeah, little little um Ryan running around doing all that stuff. And I was like, I know this joke. Do you see your kid get him? And then she got him and then like went to the front, and then uh he's messing with the cups and getting the water and stuff. Like, not once did she say anything.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:41

Like just say, hey, stop.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:44

None of that. She just looking at just grabbing, mm-hmm. And the little girl, while she was doing therapy, she wasn't doing right, her therapy right. So I said, this whole family just dysfunctional. And I'm just looking at them the whole time.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:56

They're struggling.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:57

And then they're looking at me and say, uh, uh, Dr. Hare, your kids like that in class? I said, nope. I said, I said, nope. I said, uh-uh, my kids know I don't play that. And then they the little girl looked at me. I said, that's right. Look at me. Yeah. What's your side eye?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:19

This is not really a side eye. It's well, it's kind of a side eye, but so on Saturday, uh, my in-laws were here um helping with the with the uh what's it called? The barn dough. The barn dough that my um brother-in-law has, that they were building walls and doing all things. So they were cooking frying fish for they're frying fish for everybody for for we they were fry fish, they fry hush puppies, they fried fries, it was potato salad, green salad, all the things. So the boys, um, Kibani had come home for the weekend because he knew his grand and papa were gonna be here, and so um, and then he just likes to come home too. So he came home, and so the boys, Key had gone earlier to help the men do all some of the work, and um the boys and I came over later. Um, so we come over and we stay talking to everybody and they fry and all stuff, and so we get in the car, the boys and I leave, and I said, Y'all, we smell like fried fish. So my Sinai is like that whole like when you're in a home that when people fry fish, I hate leaving smelling like what people cooked. Like, even when you go to a Mexican restaurant and that fajita, somebody buy you got fajitas, or they come by you with the fajita thing, and then you leave and you smell like fajitas. So I was when we drove home, I was like, yo, we smell like fried fish. And they were like, oh, we do, we do.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:04

But it was smelling, it was strong in the house because we haven't smelled fish in a while, fried fish. Yeah. So when I went in, I said, Oh, we're gonna be smelling like fish. I thought it instantly.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:14

Because, like, for me, when it comes to like frying things, if we can, I would prefer to fry things outside. Because I just don't like for um my house to smell like fried pork chops, fried chicken, fried. If we can fry outside, I would prefer to fry outside because it seems like it takes a couple of days to get out your house. And we have like hot even we have high ceilings, and still it's like, oh, we fried, somebody fried something yesterday. Um, so, anyways, my side uh it's the fried smell like fried. But at least we didn't have anywhere to go after that because I remember one um I was in Fashionetta and a girl um had just come from her grandma's house and they had fried fish and she came. I said, Somebody smell like fish. And um, yeah, at least we didn't have to go anywhere. So we were um you know what uh able to come home, shower up, and be fine. What do I do when I grill? You shower right after.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:16

Immediately.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:17

Yeah, he does it like if he grilled, when he gets done before the food is served, he goes to shower and then eats because he smell he don't like smelling like the smoke.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:28

I don't like the smell like all in my nose and and just the smell like you know that. So I like it.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:34

I can wait to get home because I don't know the last time that I've had that because we don't fry inside. You don't fry. No, and at Grand and Papa's they fry fish outside.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:44

Yeah, we don't even fry.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:45

No, we don't fry. Yeah, you're right. I don't know when the last time I fried something. So, anyways, yeah, that was my side. I smell like fried. What did we have? It was fried mullet and fried some kind of trout.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:59

Was it white trout?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:00

Probably so. I think it was white trout, is what we had.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:04

Yeah, I didn't eat any fish because we had gotten those chicken wings, but yeah, I didn't eat it, but I just didn't want any fish. But the potato salad and other stuff was really good.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:12

Yeah, I didn't want any fish. Mom was mad that I didn't want no fish. But I ate the hush puppies. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:16

But she's like, you don't want my fish. I don't like mullet. Yeah. It's too fishy. Yeah, and it it when I was, I was like And then the other fish have bones, and I don't like to I I I'm a little bougie to bones because when I was little, all the way till many, many years older, my daddy always made sure that there were no bones in my face.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:37

You gonna fish.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:38

You're gonna eat that bread with your no, my daddy made sure there were no bones in my fish.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:42

That with the bones in your throat, that bread, and that meat.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:45

No, my daddy was not gonna make me do that. My daddy took care of me.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:49

Nope. So, anyways. Yeah, you booze, you ain't got no survival skills.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:53

Anyways, had a good daddy.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:55

Yeah. He ain't no survival skills. No, he he was he he failed you because if you ever had to eat fish because we struggling, and that bone getting, you ain't gonna know how to act.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:04

I know you're supposed to eat bread, but I didn't have I didn't have to worry about that. I knew how to do it, but I didn't have to do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:11

But Paw Paul made sure.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:13

Yes, that I did not have to do bones in my fish.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:18

Well, we was taught how to eat right. You were just so greedy. Papa knew you were greedy.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:25

Sorry you weren't as loved as my aspect.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:27

Papa knew you was greedy. I was greedy.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:28

And I and guess what? I still am greedy.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:31

Eating all those just slow down.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:32

I've been greedy all my life.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:34

Slow down.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:34

I think people made me that way because when I was little, they said I would clear my plate all the time, and people would say, ooh, that girl can eat. She cleared her plate. And then I think they conditioned me to that. So now I'm greedy.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:47

No, if you could call it that.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:53

That's a true story. That is so true.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:56

So what are you looking forward to?

SPEAKER_05 1:09:58

Oh man. What am I looking for? I'm really just looking forward to break, to be honest. Um, yeah, I'm looking forward to break. Only thing about break I'm not looking forward to is we're driving to um Kansas. I think we've talked about this.

Halloween Nostalgia And Costumes

SPEAKER_02 1:10:12

Yeah, I'm looking forward to the break as well. I'm not looking forward to the drive. Um, it's not that I despise the drive, it's just the distance of it.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:21

Well, and we haven't done it in so long because normally we fly. But goodness gracious, these airline tickets. Have we ever driven your car? No.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:29

We haven't, huh?

SPEAKER_05 1:10:31

I mean that's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:32

Yeah, because the last time we drove, I want to say, yeah, we flown, but the last time we drove, we had a Tahoe. Right? Or we rented a car. Did we rent a car?

SPEAKER_05 1:10:41

I don't think my Tahoe, I don't think the Tahoe never was went. I don't think the Tahoe ever went. Now, because when Hathaway came, we rented a minivan.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:49

But I'm saying the last time we, because I got a ticket.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:55

Oh, it might have been a Tahoe. No, we have driven a Tahoe.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:58

I think it was a Tahoe.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:59

You're right, we have driven a Tahoe. It was like a ticket.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:01

I was like, man, that's the first ticket I had in, it was like Ooh, yeah, a long time.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:07

Yeah, since now we got Waze.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:09

Yeah, since we've got to be amazing. Waze, make sure y'all right. Yeah, 20, 2008. Is it a long time? So that ticket was 2000.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:16

You better knock on some wood.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:17

Yeah. 18, something like that. So, but uh now we got other drivers. Ooh, I'm scared. I'm scared, y'all. I know you are, but I'ma I'ma roll it for a while. I'ma roll it for a while. They might want to drive, but I'm gonna roll it for a while.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:33

I'll drive.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:35

I'ma roll it for a while. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:38

I will drive. So I'll start us off.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:40

It will be all right. I'll start us off. So, what uh what are you thankful for?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:46

Um, let me see. Well, you know what I'm really thankful for?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:51

What's that?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:51

Um, I am really thankful for currently in my job. I have some ladies who believe in um doing work. No, well, yeah, that bud. I have ladies who do. Tell the truth. Goodness gracious, yes, I do work with ladies that do all those things. Okay. But um, that people that offer um recognize the work that you do and and uh throw so many compliments like your way um and recognize when you do a good job and make sure that they tell you that.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:30

That's good.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:31

Um, yeah, so I I appreciate that. Um not that I ever doubted that I don't do amazing work. But it's good to hear it. But it's good to hear it. Yeah, it's good to hear it. So, anyways, um I'm thankful for that. And so I try to reciprocate that um to um my team of people. And I and even there, I've just noticed just the shift in the people that are not even on my team who still um um have been kind enough to share what they've noticed. So um I'm thankful. I'm thankful for that. What are you thankful for?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:07

Um, but just one thing. Like with that, I was I was then walking in the hallway today and I had some students who said they came to look for me. And, you know, it's just coaching senior-wise, I was kind of, what's your office? I'm like, you know, I have my office over here, but I'm never in my office. And it just made me feel good because I was just thinking, like, these jokers don't appreciate nothing I'm doing around here. You know, they treat me like I don't know. You know, I'm freaking doctor hell walking around these halls.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:32

Tell them.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:32

You know, and so, but my I had some students that said they were looking for me, they just wanted to see me. And I said, This is why I'm here. You know, I ain't got it it was his perfect timing. He was like, This is why you're here, not for what you just said earlier. And I was like, Yeah, you're right. And so it, you know, I put my little George Jefferson depth and walked on back to my classroom.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:55

All right, George. George.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:57

What am I grateful for? I'm grateful for uh I'm grateful, I'm grateful for that moment, moments like that. I'm grateful for God's timing.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:07

Because every time I doubt something, like when I say I'm done with TV, I'm done with reality stuff, he always either give me a phone call, hey, will you be available? Or somebody recognize me, said, Bro, I appreciate you for being real on those shows, not falling into the reality trap. You know, you're a down home person, and we really need that in TV. Every time, every single time I think about quitting, you know, or letting it go, something pops up to say, I'm needed in that space. And um, you know, even like you said, with teaching and and stuff, um, you know, the the kids really make me feel needed in that space.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:47

Yeah, that's what I mean that's what we do it for.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:50

Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:50

Right. That's what we do it for.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:52

That's that's exactly what we do it for. I mean, I ain't doing it for no teacher of the year. I ain't I'm not doing it for teacher of the month. You know, none of that stuff, man. I do it so that when I come to school, I see my kids, coach here, you know, in the hallway and they want to come and talk, and I have to tell them go to class.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:11

That's what I do it for. So um, well, we're gonna get out of here.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:16

Um I was thinking when are we gonna when are we gonna so-called stop our ep our season?

SPEAKER_04 1:15:24

Maybe maybe Christmas break.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:26

Yeah. But I still say even I think even then I want to put several in the tank. You know?

SPEAKER_05 1:15:32

Yeah. And then maybe we'll do uh this week was pretty tough to get things done.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:37

But we did it. Consistency is the key, they say, to this. We are gonna be able to do it. It's gotta be consistent.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:41

But everybody takes a break, but I mean, I I personally feel like um, as we are like, it's kind of like a new business, right? Like uh you kind of put your all into it until you get to where you want it to be. And so uh so I'm okay with it.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:00

Like just can't go on until it's like pushing, and it was like, okay, you got it.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:06

You got it.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:07

You riding that bike.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:08

I got it, thank you. Yeah, so yeah, we still got training wheels.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:11

So we'll keep the training wheels on.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:12

Yeah, I was gonna say we still got training wheels on.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:14

Yeah, we'll keep the training braws on.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:16

Training brows on the ball.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:17

Keep the training balls on so them puppets can stand up by themselves. All right, y'all. Uh well, thank you for listening to the Refreshingly Normal podcast. I am Kifla. I am Lucretia.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:33

And we will see you when we see you. Adios, amigos. Peace. Ariva Derchi.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:38

That's right.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:39

We respect all cultures. Peace. What's for dinner at oak?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:02

The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.