What Keeps Love Attractive After 50

What if your retirement address was “somewhere at sea”? We kick off with classroom wins, a Spirit Week fashion misread, and a kid who kept checking if we’d moved from the same hallway spot—then steer straight into a wild idea: buying a cabin on a residency cruise and circling the globe for years. No cooking, no cleaning, nonstop ports. Tempting? We pull the dream apart with real questions about family ties, health, flexibility, and the quiet reality of routines at sea.

From there we shift into what keeps love attractive after 50—and what slowly erodes it. We talk affection that happens outside the bedroom, the way phones steal evening connection, and how sarcasm can turn sharp if you’re not careful. We also tackle the hidden weight of problem talk, why reading the room matters, and how to ask clearly for what you need: “solutions” or “just listen.” Compromise becomes practical when each person defines what it looks like, then tests small, real-world agreements. Add honest compliments, kinder self-talk, and a bit of playful teasing, and you’ve got a blueprint for staying close while life changes.

We end with road-trip plans, tiny rituals that make long drives feel lighter, and a gratitude check that recenters what matters: health, family time, and showing up for each other. Whether you’re cruise-curious or landlocked with coffee and a to-do list, you’ll leave with ideas to protect energy at night, keep affection visible, and choose joy on purpose.

If this resonated, tap follow, share it with someone you love, and leave a quick review—what habit helps you stay connected right now?

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Thank you for listening!

Transcript

Warm Welcome & Weekly Check-In

SPEAKER_03 0:03

The refreshingly normal podcast.

SPEAKER_04 0:23

Welcome back, everybody. Thank you for tuning in to the Refreshly Normal Podcast. I am Kifla.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

I am Cree.

SPEAKER_04 0:31

And we are your hosts for the world's favorite podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Say that.

SPEAKER_04 0:37

I said that. All right. So we're going to get into it because uh somebody has to get on with her streak of running.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 0:46

So we don't want to keep her from that. And then I have to get on with my streak of taking a shower. So uh Cree.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_04 0:57

How was your week?

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Um let's see. Uh my week was pretty good. About the same old same. Saturday. We were able to go celebrate our friend Poe or Dewine. Every time I say Dewine, I think I'm saying it like uh Whitley on uh on uh Different World because it's Dewine. Um so we went to celebrate him. Very nice. Some delicious, scrumptious goodies were there. A beautiful spread. His wife Megan did a great job of it.

SPEAKER_04 1:36

She said she went crazy on the uh cheese. Cheeses. But it was good though.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Lots of cheeses. Um, so Saturday was nice celebrating him. Um, our Sundays are are pretty much most of the time relax. So that's what we did. Well, somebody did not relax, y'all. He was stressing out about his good work.

School Stories & Spirit Week Mishap

SPEAKER_04 1:58

That's all right. We'll talk about that another time.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

So I tried to make everything else less stressful for him on Sunday.

SPEAKER_04 2:08

He did a good job. Thank you. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

You're welcome. Um, other than that, busy week doing what I do um on my job, trainings, helping um students and teachers, and all the things. Got to spend a little bit of time in his school again. So that was nice. I got to meet a very special student that I enjoyed spending some time with.

SPEAKER_04 2:39

And she thinks she may have put her foot in her mouth.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

I think I did, y'all.

SPEAKER_04 2:43

Okay, let's and guess who else probably tasted the foot too? Yeah. Because we were like a couple. No, it was me, because I I said the day.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 2:53

We'll talk about that later. Well, we might forget you go ahead and talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Okay, so I'll just share this one a little bit, and then that would be the end of my week. Oh, and I got my nails done today by Miss Kimmy.

SPEAKER_04 3:04

But anywho, um I'm glad they got pause because you was okay. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

What?

SPEAKER_04 3:15

I didn't pay attention to notice if it was cat's eye.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

No, it's not cat's eye. I didn't get cat's eye this time. Um, so uh this week, remember last time Kifa said they had uh Spirit Week for the teachers? So I knew they had Spirit Week. So I saw this teacher come up and sh that the outfit looked like it was something for whatever the day was titled because y'all remember he didn't know. Say what you said, did I say my part? He didn't remember all the days. I said, What did I say? So so what's what's oh I said, so what's going on with all this?

SPEAKER_04 3:51

I said, oh, it's tacky day.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Then he thought about it and was like, oh wait, some days this is her dress. This is her dress. And then I was like, oh Lord.

SPEAKER_04 4:03

And Miss T, uh, a friend of our Miss T, she just turned her head and she was looking at, well, she wasn't looking at us, but she was laughing.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

She was looking at the floor.

SPEAKER_04 4:16

And then when when uh the teacher walked away, we was like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

I sure hope. I surely hope that that was not that teacher's regular outfit. I hope that she was. But she did say she was. She says, because the other day, which was pajama day, she was in the grocery store. She was wondering why people were looking at her strange, and she's like, Oh, I forgot I have my pajamas.

SPEAKER_04 4:41

So uh She teaches the arts, so you know, they're very eclectic. So we thought about it like instantly. We was like, oh shoot. It's kind of like if a man says, Oh my god, you know, when is when is the baby due? And we're like, oh, or are you pregnant? And then, you know, it's kind of like one of those things.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

I'm not pregnant.

SPEAKER_04 4:58

And so it was it was funny. But uh me and T laughed about that. Uh was that yesterday? I think, yes, no, today. Yeah. We laughed about the.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

And Miss T is so funny. So I'm walking down with her to leave. Everybody she sits, she's like, hey, you know who this is. This coach Aaron's wife. She's beautiful, ain't she? I'm like, oh God, Miss T. I said, stop, stop.

SPEAKER_04 5:21

No, she said, she said, because she has a beautiful spirit, uh, Miss T does. And she said, uh, she said, look, Keith, I know you're tired of hearing this by now, but I'm gonna keep saying it. Your wife is just so beautiful, her spirit and outside. You she just so beautiful. I said, hey, you know, that's why we keep getting blessings, you know.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Oh, she is so sweet. I love Miss T. But anyhow, as I was walking out, somebody, some man, I don't know who he was.

unknown 5:47

You know, this coach hair wife, you know.

Science Fair Moments & Kid One-Liners

SPEAKER_01 5:49

Yeah, that's hey that's I said, I don't know. Then she said, Well, this coach hair's wife, so I met, I can't even remember because I'm terrible with names. And uh she told him, she says, Ain't she beautiful? He was like, like, I got to say yes. Because she's standing right here. What I'm gonna say. Mm-mm. So, anyways, but yeah, so that was my week of just busy going in between schools, lots of driving, lots of checking on students. I had some behavior consults in different places to watch some students and help give teachers some behavior intervention support. So um, I did some of that too. So, yeah, today was a busy week. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, because tomorrow will be a little bit lighter because it's the day before Thanksgiving. That's good. Nobody really has you coming out the day before Thanksgiving. Um, and so we're having a brunch with my team, and so it'll be a good light day into the break.

SPEAKER_04 6:49

That's good. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

How about you? How was your week?

SPEAKER_04 6:52

It was it was good. Uh productive in the classroom, just making sure the kids had everything they needed, uh testing-wise and stuff, uh preparing for the end of the course exams. Um, you know, because once we get back from the break, we only have two full weeks, and then we have the two days, and then we get out early, because that's the testing days, you know. Um so it's it's weird, this semester is almost over with. It's crazy. Um, but it was cool. I had uh a little young Tinder come visit me at my job. And my little young Tinder. She came to visit me. Uh and today I would I was working. And you still came to visit me.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

I said hey.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

Yeah, so uh we uh today we had a science fair for the class that I'm a co-teacher in, and it went very well. The little it was at elementary school, and so those some of the kids be running in the hallway, and I'd say hey, hey, hey. It was just habit. I'm just sitting in the hall with equipment. So when the kids from different um stations come and they need extra stuff from the classroom, I was in the hallway, and uh the kids would be running in the hall and I would just stop them and and they would look and okay. Like they don't know me from anybody, but they would stop running in the hallways, and some of the teachers were like, Thank you, thank you. And uh uh Tiffany, uh that's Monroe, she was like, uh, she's like, Dang, you good at this. I said, Hey girl, I used to teach, I used to teach elementary, you know? And uh it was it was just so funny because she would be dying laughing when I would stop a kid or high five a kid or something like that, just you know, just out of that normal people in elementary, right?

SPEAKER_01 8:38

Well, people who like what they do.

SPEAKER_04 8:40

There you go. That's what that's what I was trying to say.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 8:42

People that like what they do, and so uh it was just funny to see. And and you know, they would they were so lively, and um, today was a a live day. Like I just stood in one spot, and you know, it was just cool to just be around that energy.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

Tell them what the kid said, the one little boy.

Back Pain, Therapy, And Managing Health

SPEAKER_04 8:58

The one little boy was like, you know, he said, Hey, what are you doing here? And I was like, I'm here for the science fair. So I have to stand in the hallway and give kids supplies when they need it. Oh, okay. And then he left and he went to another class and came back with his class. He said, You still here in this same spot? I said, Yep, I'm still here. He said, And you ain't moved? I said, Nope. So then he left and came back. He said, Wait a minute, why are you still here? He said, I don't want you to be here later on. And so, and then another like one of the girls, every time it would be like more kids noticing that I was still there. And so then the last time he I felt something tap me. And I look and I just said, Oh man. He said, Yep, you still here. You need to go home. I said, You want me to leave? He said, No, you just standing in the same spot. I just want you to be able to move. I said, I'm fine. I'm fine, buddy. So I guarantee you, when if he comes to Kennesaw, I bet you he'll remember me. Uh-huh. Because he was just one of them, like he was, it was like he was seeking me when he would see me. He'd be like, I gotta get the chance to speak to him. But that was real cool. I appreciated that. Um And that's it. Physical therapy is going well, but my back is it's I mean, it's going well because I don't have the pain that I used to have, but I still have pain. So I I think I need to go ahead and make my appointment for pain management. And that's like the neurologists and chiropractors and all those people, so they can see if there's any maneuvering they need to do.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

But uh I was thinking about you saying when you told the kids could went running and how they could slow down. I remember when I was at a middle school and they were the their teacher or the school counselor's trying to give them direction. They were like up, they were like in the stands, just running their mouth, just going. I said, Hey, I said, She's trying to get y'all's attention so y'all know what to do. They said, Who is you? I said, Oh, no, they didn't. And I was like, Um, you don't need to worry about who I am, but what you do need to worry about is closing your mouth. I know, I know she I said, Oh, middle school. I can't do this. All y'all people that are uh middle school or teachers, yeah, middle school is a special place. It's a special place.

SPEAKER_04 11:15

I did it for eight years. A special year eight years.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Yeah, it is a special place, but yeah, I was like, I listen. Anyways.

SPEAKER_04 11:25

Middle school ain't for the week at all.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

It is not.

SPEAKER_04 11:29

It is not. Let's get into it. Um, this is the week uh before the week. Before the week of Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 11:38

So hopefully when we release this, we'll actually be on the highway, right? No. No. We won't be on the highway, we'll be on the highway uh late.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

A couple days after.

SPEAKER_04 11:47

Yeah. And um, but anyway, we're going to see Paw Paul, the grandma. Um and then we'll film another, well, record another episode. Maybe we I mean.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

We'll have to do that like Saturday or for tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04 12:01

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Oh, tomorrow, actually. Yeah, we'd do one. Um or Sunday. I mean, we actually, I don't know. I I would I'm gonna try to do a uh a road trip episode where I I have my the machine here, has a microphone, and we're gonna we'll probably just put it somewhere and then where everybody's in the car and talk.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

Oh, that'd be cool.

Thanksgiving Travel Plans & Road-Trip Episode Idea

SPEAKER_04 12:29

And I mean, because we'll see what footage we get. If the footage is not good, then we just won't do nothing with it. But if it is good, we'll probably. And then that way we can do some questions in there. Okay. And it should be it, it would, it will pick up because it has a 360-degree microphone.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 12:43

So I think that'll be cool. We'll try that. Um, so let's get into a story time. What you had? It was a story. I mean, not a story time. Well, yeah, the st the the lady did something.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Uh the retirement. What was her name?

SPEAKER_04 12:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Okay. So we can actually kind of think about retirement because you heard some good news?

SPEAKER_04 13:05

No, I not good news, but that's what I did today. What you do? I uh did my TRS information.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:12

I logged in, set my account up.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:15

Um, and I had to like update like address for you, my beneficiary. I had to update the address for the boys. And I was just looking like, okay, because I got 11 years. Because I'm not buying back the years. That's gonna be expensive. Well, I ain't gonna say that. No, no, no. If God has something for me to do, but I have 11 years before I can fully have 30 years of of Georgia.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

The retirement.

SPEAKER_04 13:40

And so I say, let me just punch in some numbers. If I punched in the highest numbers that I've made thus far, because you know it's your f your last three years. Yeah, well, for it's they said first two years.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

First two years it was?

SPEAKER_04 13:53

I mean not first two years, the year, highest two years.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 13:56

Yeah, so they asked for what's your first highest and what's your second highest. And I put the information in, and then it said if I retired at 62, um the monthly would be four thousand and four hundred dollars a month. And I was like, oh, that ain't bad. But that's just, but of course it's gonna be more because I got 11 more years. That's depending on politics and all that stuff, we're probably probably another ten thousand dollars on our pay. Or fifteen thousand, who knows? You know what I'm saying? So I was like, okay, so then if she got that, and we still doing a little extra, you know, therapy and stuff, we're gonna be alright.

unknown 14:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:43

We're gonna be alright. I thought about that. I said, okay then, I can fish. Yeah. I know. Travel with my fishing pole.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:58

I would love to do that.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

But I'm sorry, but go ahead. But I just when you said retirement, that's look how we we could we connected.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

I see you.

SPEAKER_04 15:06

Yeah, I see you too.

Could You Retire At Sea

SPEAKER_01 15:08

So this little lady is 64 years old. She guess what? She's a retired high school language arts teacher. All right. And after spending her whole life in Los Angeles, she decided that it was time for a change. So while many retirees consider downsizing or moving to sunnier areas, she says that she sought out a life at sea. So after a decade of searching for the right cruise ship, now at 77, made um, she made her dream a reality when she purchased a cabin and set sail in June this year on the Odyssey of Villa Ve Residency Cruise.

SPEAKER_04 16:04

So residency cruise must mean you can't. Permanent residence.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

It provides a permanent residence at sea um as it circumnavigates the globe.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

And so the cruise which um it had oh, it said it it had a belated start, but last October, but then it has started, and it goes where um three and a half year long adventures around the world.

SPEAKER_04 16:32

So she retired at 63, but didn't do this until 73. Mm-hmm. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

67 wait, 64.

SPEAKER_04 16:39

Oh 64.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

And 77 is when she started this. And um stopping at 425 ports. Oh my god. In 1470.

SPEAKER_04 16:49

But that's three years, though. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

Yeah. 425 ports in 147 countries during each voyage. And so the ship permits passengers to own, rent, or lease a cabin for life through its endless horizons program, allow them to live among home comforts while exploring the world time again. So the cabins, based on their age, because I guess they're trying to guess when you're gonna die. Um the pat the the price start at$189,000.

SPEAKER_04 17:26

So basically a floating retirement home.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

Um, so for for passengers 75 to 79 years old, it's$189,000. But it gets cheaper the older you get. And so your time. Yeah, because your time is shorter. Um, so um, she says she's always been an ocean person. She loves the environment. And so this allows her to visit all the places. The food is made, it's just like a regular cruise ship with your food and all the things in it. She says she don't have she doesn't have to cook, she doesn't have to clean.

SPEAKER_04 18:08

And do nothing.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

She just gets to live.

SPEAKER_04 18:10

Yeah, like a like a really like a floating retired nursing home or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Mm-hmm. So, and the rooms are they look larger than the normal. And I think now these new cruise ships, they're making the rooms bigger. Because I've noticed like some of the the I guess it depends. Some of the people that I follow on social media when they go on there, of course we know there are bigger rooms, but a lot of the rooms are a lot since the last time I've been on a cruise, um, which is a long time.

SPEAKER_04 18:40

Well, we don't know that.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

They seem bigger.

SPEAKER_04 18:43

We'd only been in two rooms. What three rooms? You've been in one.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

But it was a room. We never know.

SPEAKER_04 18:48

They might just be, you know, showing all big rooms.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

So, anywho, thinking about that retirement, could you um do like Sharon and travel the world and live on a cruise ship?

SPEAKER_04 19:02

I don't think I can live on a cruise ship, but um I can travel the world, of course. But I just got so many questions, like, um, like where all the dead bodies go? Because I'm sure they're joking. Yeah, they dying.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

That is a good question.

SPEAKER_04 19:20

Are they cremating them and I'm sure some people got cremate services? They say because they love the water that much, they probably say, sprinkle my remains overboard over the sea.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

So you think it's a cremation thing on the ship?

SPEAKER_04 19:33

I guarantee you. I guarantee you. You have lost your marbles. I guarantee you. So how else are they getting back?

SPEAKER_01 19:39

They probably when they get.

SPEAKER_04 19:40

Or they wait till they port, then they book it with somebody to say, hey, what's the local cremate?

SPEAKER_01 19:45

Whatever your whatever your maybe you have to do a thing that says, if that happens, would you like your body shipped back, whole body?

SPEAKER_04 19:54

Would you like to cremate it at the next port? At the next port. And then we pick it up.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

Don't be spread my ashes. Send me back to my family.

SPEAKER_04 20:04

But if that's their that's what they want.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

But uh, you know what I think about too? Okay, so I'm assuming that this lady, Sharon, she doesn't have any children.

SPEAKER_04 20:15

Right. Well, she's 60-something.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

They they but even still, if my children were grown, I don't want to be out at sea for three three and a half years.

SPEAKER_04 20:25

So you're you're a connected family. Some people are not connected, like they say, oh, I they may see their relatives only on the holiday.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:36

Or they may see them every so often.

SPEAKER_01 20:39

But I think you would see your kids more often than that.

SPEAKER_04 20:42

It depends. Not everybody has, I'm telling you, when you listen to people, you realize, think about how many people you know, like really that don't have the the the plans of holiday that you have. Like they'll say, You gonna see oh no, I don't spend time with my family. Oh no, I don't, you know. And there's a lot of people that don't have kids to now the days.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

That is true. So I I think to me, if you're somebody who maybe you don't have kids.

SPEAKER_04 21:11

And she didn't talk about her husband.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

Mm-mm. So that might be an ideal place. I mean, she's all around people.

SPEAKER_04 21:17

Yeah. Um, maybe she find her little They always in them old homes.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Maybe she'll find her little boo at the next port.

Cruise Living Pros, Cons, And Humor

SPEAKER_04 21:26

Not at the port. You know how they say SCDs is rampant in the older In the nursing homes. Yeah, in the nursing homes. So that's that ship. You know, somebody up on there. He hopes the Mac. He is the Mac. Hopefully they got uh Captain D, that's what they call it.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Hopefully they got a um Oh, they got blue pills. What is it called? Infirmatory.

SPEAKER_04 21:47

The infirmary.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Infirmary. Well, they got an infirmary on the side. You got a lot of blue pills there too. They might. So people have a good time. Oh, yeah. Oh, Harold. Yeah. I and then I just don't want to be on a ship all the time. Nah. Like you're seeing the same thing every day. But I guess that's a nursing home. Yeah, I was gonna say. Well, really, it's like a nurse at home. Is that what you said already?

SPEAKER_04 22:15

Yes, yeah, I'll tell her.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

It's like a nur a floating nurse at home. Is that what he's saying?

SPEAKER_04 22:21

But hey, what about the uh what? I'm gonna be I'm gonna be very stereotypical.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

Who went work on there? You you stuck. Maybe they trade out people. Some people maybe they trade out through the ports.

SPEAKER_04 22:34

But you know, like that's how cruise ships are.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Like, but I think they trade out workers though. Like as well as shorter.

SPEAKER_04 22:42

You go and come back.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

But um and then I never heard of no three, three-year cruise.

SPEAKER_04 22:47

But if that's your think about it, that's the Navy. It's that is that's the military.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

That's their job. Whoa, that's their job.

SPEAKER_04 22:54

That's what I'm saying. That's their job. And they get a chance to come home every now and then. So I'm sure you can fly out from a certain port. Right. You could fly from a certain port to go home and then come back.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

That's an interesting life.

SPEAKER_04 23:06

Yeah. But what where would a lot of the hood people uh nursing home be? They'll be on carnival, one. They'd be on carnival. They'll be on carnival nursery.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

Listen, people would why people would uh be dead because they will fight till the death.

SPEAKER_04 23:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Can you imagine being stuck on a carnival cruise ship?

SPEAKER_04 23:27

Because they'd be on there for a week. Or not even a week, but three days. And they all them fights.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Three days. You put them people on there for three years.

SPEAKER_04 23:38

Dead.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

It will be like what's that thing called?

SPEAKER_04 23:42

The purge or whatever. Something like that would be.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

It would be that would be a good movie.

SPEAKER_04 23:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Would that be a good movie?

SPEAKER_04 23:50

It would.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

All of us said it'd be like now the carnival cruise and they stuck with each other for three years.

SPEAKER_04 23:55

We can sell them shirts that key money with his quote on there.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

What does it say?

SPEAKER_04 23:59

Key Money's famous quote from uh Hilton Head.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

Get me off of this thing.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Get me over this thing.

SPEAKER_04 24:10

I couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

No, I couldn't do it. I I like to a little bit of freedom. I I would feel too um more restricted. Restricted. Yeah, and feeling like, like really, like you locked, locked up. I mean, I guess at any point you can port and say, I'm going somewhere else. I mean, and then meet them at the next port. Yeah, because it is your house. Because you'll know, yeah, it is your house. So you'll know when they come into each port. So you could say, Oh, I'd had enough of this.

SPEAKER_04 24:40

Let me go and go visit your family and then come back. Yeah, meet them at another port. Oh, in uh wherever Costa Rica. Okay, I'll say that.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

That's how I that's how I would do it. I couldn't be on that thing the whole time. I probably would hit a port and after so long be like, I'm gonna go do this, and come back and meet at another port or something like that.

SPEAKER_04 25:00

If you had the money, you could just buy one of those pla you know things on there, reserve it for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

And let other people use it.

SPEAKER_04 25:09

And then you'd be, you know, boom, boom. Like a time shit. Yeah, like a time shirt. That's how I would use it. But no, I mean No, I couldn't do it, man. I gotta, I gotta have uh more say-so in where, not necessarily where I go, but how I get there.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 25:27

You know.

The “After 50” Attraction List Begins

SPEAKER_01 25:27

And and then I'm just thinking, after so long, how different can the cruise food be?

SPEAKER_04 25:35

No.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

You know what I mean? After so long, it's it's gonna be like, Whew, that was enough of this. You know?

SPEAKER_04 25:42

Now if you gotta your OBC, and then you ain't gonna have no stove with all them old people because it's not a good thing. No, they say you can't.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

No, she says food's cooked for you.

SPEAKER_04 25:48

I know, but I'm just saying, they couldn't have like no actual stoves, a little apartments, because somebody leave it open, leave it leave it on, and the whole uh ship go down in flames. Well, it won't go down in the flames because it'll be wet. So the flames won't go down. It'll go down because of flames. See how I did that there?

SPEAKER_01 26:10

I say.

SPEAKER_04 26:11

All right. So let's you share the email with us, with me. Oh, I got it pulled up here. And um the title is, ladies and gentlemen, sorry, but these 18 habits make husbands lose attraction after 50. So when I first read it, I was like, oh, what is it that I will, you know, won't be attractive? I mean attractive after 50. That's what I thought about.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Oh, you thought about men wouldn't be attractive.

SPEAKER_04 26:43

Yeah, like what is it about men that's that women find that too? Unattractive. But I thought it was like, you know, the presence, you know, bald head, you know, gray hair. You know, a lot of people do feel that way. And then I was like, I know she didn't. And then I went on hand, you know, started reading, and I was like, oh. Yeah. So we're only gonna, there were what we say, 18.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

18 of them. So go through them and see which one we're gonna do. Let's go, we'll start at the interest.

SPEAKER_04 27:12

Or do you wanna? I was gonna just do the top 10. Oh, let's do it. Start from 10 and go down. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 27:19

All right, so top 10. Number 10.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

What?

SPEAKER_04 27:23

Dismissing his interests.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

Like, I don't want to watch football.

SPEAKER_04 27:31

Um, things like that, yeah, stuff like that. But that that that is way before 50.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

Yeah, I did, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:38

Yeah, that is way before 50. Never been interested. Yeah, but um, I mean, it ain't even football. It'd just be like if you tell somebody kind of like your dreams and stuff and they shoot it down. Um, like I was saying, you know, before I had a uh a person that I dated in my past, uh, because you know the one thing I like to do all the time is I'll say something like, If you got a million dollars, right now you gotta spend it. Five minutes, what you gonna do? And I would do that all the time. You you got uh three places you can live. What's your top three? Right now, you gotta think about it. You gotta think about it then, you know, all that kind of stuff within 10 seconds. And they were like, We ain't got a million dollars, so be quiet. I was like, Oh. So that kind of turned me off on that individual at that time. But they're dismissing interest would definitely um And you know what I find?

SPEAKER_01 28:26

People really do like that question. When I do an activity with some of the students I train, one of the questions that they do, like a partner talking with, is you just won the mega million billion dollar jackpot. What are the first three things you're buying? And they're like, oh, first I'm buying. And then, and oh, this one boy, he said, I'm gonna buy a car. And I said, What kind of car are you gonna buy? He said, Oh, nothing too much. Just a Bugatti. I said, Oh, just a Bugatti. So, yeah, they always enjoy answering that question. It it automatically brings joy.

SPEAKER_04 29:08

Yeah, it does. Yeah, it does. All right, number nine, neglecting, neglecting physical affection outside the bedroom.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

So at that point, people probably just get tired of each other.

SPEAKER_04 29:24

No, I don't think I mean some people do.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

I mean, and I guess what would make it hard is if they used to be, and then they aren't.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:33

So, because you can't expect it if it never was really a thing. Because some people just aren't touchy-feeling kind of people. But if they were, and then all of a sudden they don't. What would make what makes somebody not if you if they were touchy feeling, why do you think after 50 or um that would stop for somebody? Oh hormones.

SPEAKER_04 29:54

Yeah, hormones. Because it could be vice versa, like when when you know how women say, Oh my god, when I read My forties or my fifties, my hormones went in overdrive. And then it's it flips. Me and our hormones drastically start to decrease after the age of four, right? When they hit 40 to 45, there's a huge d decrease in testosterone levels. You know, and so uh, you know, think about it when they get old old, especially if they're not exercising to do things to help regenerate the testosterone levels, you know, they may have a certain feel about them, you know.

Affection, Hormones, And Sarcasm

SPEAKER_01 30:27

I'm thinking, um if you know that, and I know there are certain vitamins or drugs or things that people can do, but then I also feel like I know like a desire, people like to naturally have the desire. But I feel like you can also kind of not force yourself but be mindful of when have I been touching my partner? Have I kind of hugged on them or rubbed on them? So I think even as you we know that that's gonna happen in an old, you know, as you get older, like making that a practice of when the last time I touched him or rubbed something, or and vice versa, for the one uh man to say, when the last time I hugged her, I mean um because I think people, as people say, as you get older, you just get is it complacent?

SPEAKER_04 31:24

Complacent, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:25

They get complacent and you don't do all those things. And so I would say just remind like when the last time I did something.

SPEAKER_04 31:34

I know I can speak for myself, and then like recently, you know, it's just my mind has been just so um cluttered with just you know, almost like as I get I was just worrying about is everything gonna be alright? Is everything taken care of financially, physically, uh, you know, the boys, you, you know, it's just it's so much, and it's stuff that I didn't worry about before, but was still going on, and I'm like, why am I worrying about it now?

SPEAKER_01 32:08

You know, but it's sounds like like I wonder if there are a male version of perimetopause.

SPEAKER_04 32:14

I'm sure it is.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

Because that's what I mean, it sounds similar to that.

SPEAKER_04 32:18

Yeah, but um it's uh I like say I definitely know, you know, and I do know my my testosterone levels are. Remember, I did all my testing and stuff. They're they're in the norm, but they're the low norm. And you know, that they were like, well, you could do something for testosterone therapy, but then you gotta be careful of your kidneys and all that other kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

So side effects.

SPEAKER_04 32:43

Yeah. Um, but you know, all right. This number eight, using sarcasm too often.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

I like sarcasm.

SPEAKER_04 32:52

Um yeah, sarcasm is good. I think it's healthy, yeah. We do it.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

But uh we know um it's teasing.

SPEAKER_04 33:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

Um so if that's a banter for us.

SPEAKER_04 33:04

Polite with it. Like we we won't say um things that we know. Oh, sorry. That's a scam likely. We won't um that's what they're doing now. They do they do back to back now. But I've I've been hitting them with spam. But uh, like we we will we will joke on each other, but there's certain jokes we won't say. You know, like there are jokes we may say to somebody else that we won't say to each other because we know this may be a sensitive subject. Yeah. You know, so we're being mindful of our sarcasm.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

And then even with that, um What's my ringer?

SPEAKER_04 33:49

I turn it off.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

And even if there's something that we do say that does kind of offend the other person, we'll both I don't know, I'll say, Well, why you say that? I mean, I don't have a prop setter, so you'll know if it is um something that is a little sensitive. Yeah, I'm not just gonna sit on it. I'm gonna immediately say, I don't like that.

SPEAKER_04 34:14

Yeah. They don't say, they say use sarcasm too often, but they don't say mimicking. So if y'all been watching and listening, y'all know that I mimic stuff.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

Now that is definitely And y'all, it is a habit now. You losing the And so now I'm trying to watch it because before I know it, I done already mimicked him. So I'm trying to I'm trying to be mindful of it, but it just comes out.

SPEAKER_04 34:44

Number seven, always putting others first.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

Oh, we done learned our lesson on that. Yeah, we've already been down that road.

SPEAKER_04 34:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

And we have taken a detour. Yeah. So yeah, we definitely, yeah, we don't do that because it just ends up somebody being upset and taking advantage of. Yeah, we don't do that.

SPEAKER_04 35:05

So I um I think some other things on the list should have been higher than this.

SPEAKER_01 35:10

You think so? Yeah. Give me an example. What what do you think? Let's say Well, that's not but that's not in a uh order of I know it's not, but but you just chose to do the first ten. Yeah, first ten. Not the top ten, the first ten.

SPEAKER_04 35:23

Like uh what do you think? Uh let's see. Letting technology take over evenings.

unknown 35:34

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04 35:36

You know.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

Yeah. You gotta work on that.

SPEAKER_04 35:40

I am. It's it's at the uh end of the day. You know, yeah, in the bedtime.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

Yeah, he's got to work on that. Me, myself. I'm not even gonna say that's not a problem for me.

SPEAKER_04 35:56

All right. Okay, so we'll move right along. All right, the next one is number six. Forgetting to tease each other. That's similar to the teaching.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

Oh, we yeah, that's the same. Well, then it's no, no. It said two tease, but don't sarcast.

SPEAKER_04 36:12

Oh, forgetting. Okay, you're right, right, right. I mean, forgetting to, yeah, we do we do tease each other.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

Teasing can feel like sarcasm. No, no, no, teasing. Teasing more goofy, giggly, laughing, teasing.

SPEAKER_04 36:25

Like we tease each other all the time about uh sarcasm can be mean. Yeah, sarcasm.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

Our sarcasm isn't mean. Yeah, our sarcasm goes towards teasing.

SPEAKER_04 36:36

Yes.

Compromise, Change, And Communication

SPEAKER_01 36:37

But sarcasm can't be mean. There are some mean, sarcastic people out there.

SPEAKER_04 36:41

It is some mean couples. Yeah, I've seen I've heard some and I'd be like.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

I'll be thinking.

SPEAKER_04 36:46

We've heard it.

SPEAKER_01 36:47

He found the right one. Because let me tell you what this sister would be saying. Yes, I I have heard it and I was like, we've heard it. And we were like, mm-hmm, mm-mm. Couldn't be mean.

SPEAKER_04 36:57

Change the subject, guys.

SPEAKER_01 36:59

Change and let's move on.

SPEAKER_04 37:00

Um, number five, refusing to try new things.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:05

Yeah, I I would hate to be with somebody that doesn't try new things.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

That seems like something somebody would have always been. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 37:13

Man, people change. That's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

That is true. People change.

SPEAKER_04 37:17

That is so crazy because it's just like, you know, we hear people, well, I mean, we don't know that we can't live in their life, but it's just people change. You know, it's just how it is.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

Um But that's but that is the long-term relationship. It is so how do you deal with that when somebody decides they won't don't want to try new things?

SPEAKER_04 37:40

But that's the that's that's why you see people talking about they were married for 30 years and got a divorce.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

That's true.

SPEAKER_04 37:46

You know, um some things they can work through and some things they say, I'm not. I'm trying to live the rest of my years on this side of the coin as peaceful as possible.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

Yeah. Possible. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:59

So I mean it's sad, but yeah, be people change. That's like um, and you know, I you know, what's the saying when someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.

SPEAKER_01 38:10

Yeah, but believe it, sister.

SPEAKER_04 38:12

A lot of times they ain't showing you everything.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

No, but then also people change. And different life circumstances are things that change. So cause and effect. Like for instance, what I've seen for some people, if they travel for work and then they retire, then all of a sudden they don't like to travel because they did that, but then their spouse didn't travel. And so, you know, so certain little things as you get older, they do shift and change. But I think as a as a partner or spouse, um, and it's not all about you. You have another person that is a part of you, and so sometimes we have to compromise and we got to do things that um we may not necessarily want to do, but we do because we care about the other person having some happiness in their life.

SPEAKER_04 39:08

That's the hardest thing for for people to do is compromise. Because compromising looks different to each person.

SPEAKER_01 39:15

That's true. You know, that that would be a good uh uh discussion. What does compromise look like to you? What does compromise feel like?

SPEAKER_04 39:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:26

What does it sound you?

SPEAKER_04 39:28

You're the one with MFT certification.

SPEAKER_01 39:31

Well, that is good. I mean, I think that's an important thing. Like, people need to figure that part out. And then that way you'll be like, oh, we don't see this the same. And then in some way, you can meet in the middle of that compromise.

SPEAKER_04 39:44

Uh but I think in order to get a true reading of that, you would have to ask them away from each other.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:51

The same scenario.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 39:52

And then you come back and see if those if that data Yeah. If it's like this perfect link, or if it's like, oh my God, it's all y'all are all the way off.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

And then how do we bring it together? If possible.

SPEAKER_04 40:10

I mean, you can because you can say, you know, you you try to talk about that scenario and say, Why do you feel this way? Why do you feel this way? Say, oh, okay, now I see where you're coming from. But if they're so stu you know both stuck on what they thought of what they said, it's gonna be difficult. But uh compromise is very, very difficult. Point blank, period.

SPEAKER_00 40:32

It is.

SPEAKER_04 40:34

Yeah. Number four, criticizing more than complimenting. This is definitely something you yeah, that is unattractive. Criticizing more than complimenting. And I think also like even if you do it to yourself, like your your spouse or your partner, but even yourself.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

Like negative self-talk?

SPEAKER_04 40:58

Yeah, I I that's that kills me. Because sometimes it's people fishing for compliments.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:07

You know, those people. And so, you know, once you know that's what they're doing, I don't say nothing. Oh, I don't either. I mean good, like, and then they be like you kind of slowly see them fade out of the room because it's like, oh, I guess ain't nobody giving me that attention I'm looking for. Like, girl, we done I already told you. Chill out. Um, forgetting the importance of physical closeness.

SPEAKER_01 41:36

Mmm.

SPEAKER_04 41:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:38

That kind of goes with the other one.

SPEAKER_04 41:41

Um But the other one was more in was it public?

SPEAKER_01 41:44

What did you say touching?

SPEAKER_04 41:46

It was neglecting physical affection, yeah, outside of the bedroom, right?

SPEAKER_01 41:51

Oh, okay. And that one is in the bedroom, I'm assuming.

SPEAKER_04 41:54

And this one, no, I mean it doesn't say it's just um forgetting the the importance of physical closeness. This could be sitting near each other. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

That was true because I don't know how many older people I've seen. You go to their house and they each got their own little recline. This is or and how many people, the new thing is husbands and wives have their own bedrooms. No, I ain't doing that. Like, so that to me creates a divide. But they say they come together for um when they want want to be intimate.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

Um, but some of them say it's because together they can't get a good night's rest. Um, because certain things they do wake them up. That part I do understand because when somebody gets up out the bed, um it does, it does wake you up. Not now, depending on how good I'm sleeping.

SPEAKER_04 42:47

Or depending on how good your mattress is.

SPEAKER_01 42:50

Well, I'd like to ask a variety of people because somebody thinks our mattress is just horrible.

SPEAKER_04 42:56

How long we had that mattress? We better not even tell. They might they might disown us as their favorite couple.

SPEAKER_01 43:03

Y'all don't worry about this. Do not worry about this. But getting out of the bed. When I get out of the bed, do you do am I like sometimes, sometimes no?

Appearance, Aging, And Self-Talk

SPEAKER_04 43:13

But I mean, I think I think this is what it is now. I'm comfortable and I recognize the motion, which doesn't frighten me. You understand what I'm saying? But like I'm like if I hear a noise somewhere, like, you know, we here at home, we hear a noise, we hear a door open, we hear something, we're in our comfort zone. But if we at someone else's house and we hear a door open, we are alert because of the uncomfortability of being wherever we are. So when I'm in the bed with you, you know, I think I do feel because I I think what happens, that's when I'll roll over or something. I'll change positions, you know, but it's not to the point where it disturbs my sleep.

SPEAKER_01 44:05

Sometimes when you get in bed, it's like I'll be like, what is we got it seems like you sit down, get over, turn around, get down, up, downside, down, and around, and in. But I'll be saying, I bet he's trying to, because of your aches and pains, just trying to get find that spot? Yeah, trying to find that spot. So that's where some people, or if there's somebody that's a snore, there's some there are some people that are snores and I know I I told the doctor, my main reason I said he's like, do you snore? No, I wouldn't even.

SPEAKER_04 44:41

No, I'm just saying. I I told the doctor.

SPEAKER_01 44:43

Because you said I snore. I was thinking about myself.

SPEAKER_04 44:45

But hey.

SPEAKER_01 44:47

You think I need a what's a name?

SPEAKER_04 44:49

You you would benefit greatly from one. I ain't even gonna lie. You would benefit greatly from one, but I'm when I'm sleep, it is what it is. Like I can tone it out.

SPEAKER_01 45:03

I cannot tone it out.

SPEAKER_04 45:05

When it comes to sleep for you, you turn into someone else.

SPEAKER_01 45:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 45:12

I ain't gonna say you turn into someone, it's just who you are.

SPEAKER_01 45:14

I'm very short-tempered.

SPEAKER_04 45:16

Yes, you you're very short-tempered.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

Because I love sleeping. And it's like love it. It's it's it's you know I love sleep. Let me tell y'all a story when I was in high school. One of my good friends came for her uh to sleep over. And so we had an extra room. So I don't know she, if we were in the same room or she came in the other room, but she woke up, she wakes up early. Now she knows, maybe she didn't know. I'm not an early riser. And she came jumping on the bed. I almost hurt her because uh, and it wasn't, you know, it was just my reaction because everybody in my house knows me and sleep. You don't bother me. Even like my mom and daddy one time when I came, I think I came home from college. I don't know what it was. I might have, it might have been when I came home or something. And if anybody, don't nobody know but us. But my mom and daddy go downstairs and it's early, and they just are talking loud. Every coffee cup you hear getting down, every cabinet you got.

SPEAKER_04 46:45

It's probably why you are like that now. All the things because you never had a good night's sleep.

SPEAKER_01 46:51

And so one morning I was so frustrated, and I think maybe I have I did have to go to work, but I was trying to sleep as long as I could before I went to work. So I opened my bedroom door. I said, some people in this house are still trying to sleep, but I guess y'all don't care. And I got shut my door real hard and got back in the bed, and I heard them say, Oh, she done lost her damn mind. But sleep, like, is so important to me. And so I I I just love it. And I don't want it to be interrupted. Like, it is really, really like, I don't know. I just love it. That's good. You should love it. Yeah, I just love sleep. Some people don't like sleep. Some people are early birthday, like to get up. I just love, I think it's just peace for me. Sleep is just like peace. It just feels so good. I love sleep.

SPEAKER_04 47:48

Yeah, I love it too, but not to the point where I'm, you know, it I'm quick and snap. But I I I, you know, I try to be I love sleep.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

I can fall asleep anywhere.

SPEAKER_04 47:58

I I can too, but I try to be, you know, what a little more um understanding.

SPEAKER_01 48:08

About me and my sleep?

SPEAKER_04 48:09

No. I mean, no, I'm understanding about your sleep. I'm understanding what I'm saying, being a little bit more understanding about like if somebody gets out of the bed, yes, there's gonna be movement. So you can't expect them not to get out of bed. And if they get in the bed, there's going to be movement. So you can't expect them to be light as a feather. Maybe So hold on. And so when it does occur that this individual is not trying to disturb your sleep.

SPEAKER_00 48:36

I don't think yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:37

But the response is always as if this person knows better and should do better. And I can't believe you didn't do better, kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 48:47

Maybe y'all need to practice. How softly can I get into bed? This is why some. This is why. These new couples, the new couple thing, why they got their own bedrooms.

SPEAKER_04 49:01

It is. It is.

SPEAKER_01 49:02

So they can have like this peaceful sleep.

SPEAKER_04 49:04

But I didn't get married to have a separate bedroom. At any time.

SPEAKER_01 49:09

Yeah. I this, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:11

Yeah. I don't believe in that getting mad and sleeping on the couch.

SPEAKER_01 49:14

Oh, yeah. He doesn't believe in sleeping in a separate room at all.

SPEAKER_04 49:17

If we had a disagreement and you ain't sleeping in here, I don't care if you're mad or not sleeping in the room. You go in to sleep in the um, but downstairs, I'm right down there with you.

SPEAKER_01 49:28

Just turn the other cheek.

SPEAKER_04 49:29

Yep. I'm right down there with you. But yeah. Last thing we're gonna do is something happen and then we go, oh my God, I didn't, da da da. You never know.

SPEAKER_01 49:37

Yeah, that is true. You never know. And it's really sometimes you have to think about it, is it really that deep?

SPEAKER_04 49:45

No. No, it's not. And then sleeping away from somebody, it it don't change nothing.

SPEAKER_01 49:51

What you mean?

SPEAKER_04 49:52

Like Oh, sleep in another room? Yeah, it don't it doesn't solve anything. Because you're unconnected.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

You still gotta come the next, you still got to talk about the thing.

Problem Limits And Emotional Bandwidth

SPEAKER_04 50:00

Even if they right next to you, you can still be quiet. Yeah. And you can still think about okay, what did I do wrong? What did he do wrong? What did she do wrong? All that you can still think, you can still do everything you need to in the same room.

SPEAKER_02 50:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:13

So all that, let's separate and do this stuff. No, stop running away from your problems. Your problems are right there.

SPEAKER_01 50:19

Yeah. It's gonna still be there tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04 50:21

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 50:22

That is true. So it's better just to go ahead and figure it out.

SPEAKER_04 50:26

And figure it out so that you can sleep peacefully.

SPEAKER_01 50:28

That is true.

SPEAKER_04 50:29

And start your morning better with the opportunity.

SPEAKER_01 50:32

Yeah, because when you go to sleep like that, you wake up, you're like, I gotta still be made.

SPEAKER_04 50:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:37

So you wake up.

SPEAKER_04 50:38

And that other person probably had a great dream and whatever, and just like, oh well, you know, it's a new day. Thank you, Lord, it's a new day. And you may be like, I just prayed for a break, a great day. I thought, you know, I just thank the Lord that He woke me up this morning. And here you are wishing that somebody didn't wake up.

SPEAKER_01 50:54

Oh no, I don't think anybody's wishing that. But I think that's why some people have to think, Joe, go to bed angry, because if you go to bed angry, then you have to wake up angry. Like that's with anything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:07

So you gotta pray about it, and I guess either talk it out if you if you feel like you're gonna wake up with a seal on your heart and your mind, you might as well, because you really aren't gonna sleep that well either. You don't sleep well angry either.

SPEAKER_04 51:20

No, you don't. If you do, then that's that's some issues you gotta work out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

I know of times of I've been angry, you don't get good rest. So it's better stay up, talk it out, then you can get you some good rest.

SPEAKER_04 51:33

Yeah. I can't sleep good when I'm extremely happy. Like, yo, I'm extremely happy about something the next day. I'm like, oh God, I couldn't even sleep. I'll just toss it to her, like looking at the clock, thinking it was time, like with Christmas, thinking it was time to wake up. You know, so I know definitely if it's something is um that I'm mad or upset about, um, I won't get any sleep. You know, especially me, because I don't I do not like people being upset with me.

SPEAKER_01 51:59

Oh, we now upset that before.

SPEAKER_04 52:01

Yeah, I'm just saying. Well, back to this thing. Forgetting the importance of closeness. So that's important to me.

SPEAKER_00 52:08

Like Then we already said, so that's the point.

SPEAKER_04 52:10

Yeah, that's the one, but I'm saying, remember we were saying it's like the other one. The other one, I think, is almost like physical, uh, what do they call it? Public um affection. Yeah, public affection. And so, like, I don't mind public affection, but I know I don't do it as much as I probably should, or as much as you probably would want. But I do like physical closeness. That's like if we're sitting on the couch. Yeah, I do like for you to be right there next to me, if you know, or something like that. I do like that. Like I that's important to me. Physical closeness is very, very important.

SPEAKER_01 52:44

And I think physical closeness is not just uh did they say physical? Oh, yeah, they did. I was gonna say because sometimes I think of closeness as in talking and connecting in that way, you know, in that way too, to me, can feel physical.

SPEAKER_04 53:00

Yeah. All right. Um, number two, ignoring ignoring appearance to get altogether. Oh, ignoring appearance altogether, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 53:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:08

So that means just looking don't care how you look.

SPEAKER_01 53:10

Looking a pickle.

SPEAKER_04 53:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

That's what that means. Like you're not really caring anymore about how you look, and and sometimes people people struggle with getting older and looking older. I know for me, sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, I can I'm getting older, like the bags and your eyes and things.

SPEAKER_04 53:28

But um, figuring out how do you grow old gracefully or yeah, you grow old gracefully by by not getting those enhancements because you don't get to see yourself get old and appreciate maybe the lines and all that stuff. And I'm just speaking for myself, don't say, oh, you don't know women, but I'm saying once someone is in need of those enhancements and we see them without, we're like, ooh, they look bad.

SPEAKER_01 53:57

Not everyone.

SPEAKER_04 53:58

But I'm saying, but I'm saying people that like, you know how we say when people need their bow top. Oh, yeah. And then we say, oh my God, they look bad. But look at this picture before, they didn't look like that just last week. You know, something and so we become part of the problem of the graceful aging.

SPEAKER_02 54:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:16

You know, and so, but if you like, if you just look at people that have aged gracefully and how they just carry themselves and everything, and we're like, you know, oh my God, they still look beautiful. Um, but you know, that's that's That's not the world we live in, of course. And is people are going to say that's not for us to determine how somebody looks.

SPEAKER_01 54:36

Or how somebody feels about the way they look.

SPEAKER_04 54:39

But we can always talk about anything else, but we can't talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

Yeah. But I mean, I guess the thing is, well, we also are our own worst critics.

SPEAKER_04 54:49

We are definitely are.

SPEAKER_01 54:50

That we see all the flaws that we feel like are flaws, but other people don't see them as flaws, but to us they are. And um, and so we we grade ourselves harsher. And um, yeah, we just that's also to me about like that positive self-talk.

SPEAKER_02 55:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:11

Um, to to somehow have that in your life. And what does it say? Um, comparison is the thief of joy. Um, we live in a world now where we see so you're comparing all the time. You're comparing all the time. Yeah, yeah. Because you're looking at one picture.

SPEAKER_04 55:29

Facebook could say what? This time four years ago, and it'll show your memory. Yeah, to show you a memory.

SPEAKER_01 55:36

Yeah, so you see that, and so you're able to see that part of you aging, and then you see other people and and you don't know. Sometimes you can tell when people use filters, sometimes you can't, but um, and then some people are getting different things, their injections and all the things, and so and you just have to be happy that you are alive and well, and just trying to figure out what are the things you're grateful for so you can have your person focus.

Don’t Parent Your Partner

SPEAKER_04 56:11

Make your person feel good. If if you're not, if you're just a jerk or a hole, then you know, it's you just that's who you are. You're not gonna say, well, they don't look good to me. I don't like that, you know. Okay, cool. But really, if you are really in love with someone, their their flaws that are unintentional, it it means nothing. Like real talk, it means nothing. And because you're now seeing them out of the eyes of compassion, if that if you know that that person also feels a type of way that there may be changing in that aspect. And so when you're looking at them through the eyes of compassion, compassion is about beauty anyway. It's a beautiful heart, a beautiful spirit. So that's all you're going to see from your person. You know, but when you're looking at it based off of measurement, then yeah, it's not gonna be the same.

SPEAKER_01 57:06

Superficial.

SPEAKER_04 57:07

Right.

SPEAKER_01 57:08

And and even with that, I think when when people feel that somebody cares, like they feel the care, they feel the compassion, they feel the love, they feel the empathy. I think those are things that make people want to keep themselves together doing all the things.

SPEAKER_02 57:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:27

But when somebody makes them feel otherwise, then it impacts their self-esteem and that sort of thing. I remember somebody I knew and they gained weight, and their husband was always saying something about their weight. And she eventually said, Why does it matter my weight? Because when I was skinny, you cheated on me when I'm big, you're doing the same thing. So what difference does it make? And so, um, yeah, so it's kind of like, you know. So yeah, it is true. So in that regard, you have to speak, you know.

SPEAKER_04 58:04

But do stuff to keep yourself up, though. Like just because you old don't mean you get to wear an old behind nightgown that's jacked up with grease on it and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 58:16

Also, if you don't like it, then buy them something that you want to see them in too.

SPEAKER_04 58:20

But also, if you buy them something that you want to see them in, they have to at least try it on to see how they look and how that person looks at them when they got it on. Well, I agree with you.

SPEAKER_01 58:32

I do agree. And I also agree with this. When somebody buys you something, you can try it on in your time to try it on. You don't have to try it on immediately if you feel like maybe I haven't showered yet. Maybe I'm just just trying to relax and I'm not ready to try on new clothes yet. But I am gonna try it on, but then when somebody be trying to force you to try stuff on in their time frame, then you get defiant.

SPEAKER_04 59:05

And that's not right.

SPEAKER_01 59:08

What happened?

SPEAKER_04 59:10

Being defiant just because it ain't just because you just said it.

SPEAKER_01 59:15

It's not just because you just said it. It is a reason.

SPEAKER_04 59:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 59:21

So there is a reason.

SPEAKER_04 59:23

Just make sure you try to dress right, you know, to you know, the brain to keep the flames where they need to be.

SPEAKER_01 59:31

Um and don't say, if you don't try this on, I'm just gonna take it back. See why I even buy it in the first place. Don't say that. Because then they'll be even more defiant.

SPEAKER_04 59:40

Hey, it is what it is. Take it back. And then you don't buy nothing. Say, why you don't buy me?

SPEAKER_01 59:47

All right, well, what's the first thing? So what's the last thing?

SPEAKER_04 59:53

I was telling trying to help the people.

SPEAKER_01 59:55

Okay, sure you were.

SPEAKER_04 59:57

I was trying to help the people.

SPEAKER_01 59:58

Come on, oh, you thought.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:00

I was talking about you. Child.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:03

Who are you talking about? Your mama.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:05

No, I was just talking about like scenarios. This thing says why husbands lose attraction after 50. So I'm trying to help all these husbands.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:14

I hear you.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:15

The number one thing on the list. I'm not going to say number one thing, but it's the number one.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:19

First thing listed.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:21

Talking more about problems than possibilities.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:25

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:26

That is a kicker for me.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:30

Like, and I and even there should be a problem limit. You know? Like sometimes I understand there are problems, but it's like, you know what? We're not going to um.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:47

Is it y'all's problems or anybody's problems?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:51

Anybody's problems. Oh, I'm talking about people's problems. Yeah. So it's like there's a limit because.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:58

Well, what's gonna be how you gonna tell me with the limit? Oh, he does tell me limit, he go. I don't hear no more.

unknown 1:01:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:05

Enough already. I'd had a tough negative day. I can't hear no more negative stuff. Let's talk about something else.

Boundaries, Triggers, And Repair

SPEAKER_04 1:01:10

Let's get to the positive. And even when it's the negative, like if I had a negative day, if I had a positive day, don't turn the the you know, the temperature down in the room. You know what I'm saying? It's like we at a club and kicking it. Ooh, yeah. And all of a sudden you put on some. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:32

Love and happiness. I like that song.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:35

Yeah, but like blowing. Right. You see there? But it's in reading the room. Everybody get crooked off, yeah, glow. And then she just put that on. And we're like, wait a minute. You know. But uh, yeah, you gotta, you gotta um limit that the problems. Like you can talk about problems because, you know, you want to make sure you have some resolve.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:00

But um yeah, if you feel like it's a problem, then you you do have to find some point for y'all to talk about what it is because if you hold on to it, it'll come out in ugly ways. So you do have to talk about it. But I do agree the additional problems that have nothing to do with y'all, like for some people that's a fixer, doesn't all I think this this is my hypothesis. Somebody who is a fixer and kind of, I mean, really sees an easy solution, yeah, but the easy solution is not being done with the people who have the problem. There's a frustration level, and it's like it's a waste of time to talk about because people aren't doing the things they need to do. So why even talk about it?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:52

Let it go.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:53

Is that a good hypothesis?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:54

Yeah, it's a good hypothesis. And then, you know, sometimes you'll say, uh What will I say? Like, you know, no, well no, I have to ask you. What do I ask now? Because I'm like, do you want me to solve it or listen?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:10

Or listen. Yes, because this one will go. He immediately gets to, well, da da da, you need to do, and why did you ask them? And I go, oh, you have really like taken it up a notch. It's not even all of that. And then so I'm glad he starts asking. Because then I'll be like, goodness gracious, Tyrone, you took it too far.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:37

Because the way she tells it, it's like it's the, oh my God, you just gotta, and and and then she be getting mad. Like, I hate when she tells me stuff in public because people across the room be thinking we're fussing. But she'll be like, and so I told her, I still look at him. And then and I'll be like, what? You know, and so they looking at us thinking, oh my gosh, she is really giving it to him. And she just telling me a story. Then next thing we'll start laughing, they're probably like, that lady bipolar. But that's how she is. She was like, and so I was like, and then and then and so then I'm like, okay, is she being animated or she's a big one?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:17

Well, now that makes me feel like my coworker was right. Because she says, Kree's gonna tell you the story, but it's gonna be, it's gonna sound more dramatic.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:25

I mean, you you go there, but then we're gonna.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:28

But I'm telling the truth though.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:29

But I'm like, look, do you want me to fix it or do you want me to just listen?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:33

And what I also want you to, okay, here is is not dramatics. Here's what it is. It's because I also want you to feel how I I need you to feel the feelings that I feel.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:48

I feel it. I feel it without, but No, you don't.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:51

When I do it like that, that's why you be getting like, well then, da-da-da. No. Because I'm like, because you feel what I feel.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:58

I get like that even in a calm conversation. When we when I'm listening, side ear hustling to a conversation, what I say too. I'll be like, you know what, let me go. Because I can't say nothing. Oh, yeah. Because it's not my conversation.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:12

You can say something. And then some things you just don't want to say. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:16

But at the same time, like, I I get it. You know, I can I'm really good at read, I can read the room. I just wanted to.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:23

Well, maybe I am just an actor.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:28

You might be. And maybe, well, I ain't no maybe. I do know that, like, you work in an environment that has a lot of stuff that um goes on. Yes. And with a lot of personalities.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:44

So I'm trying to have you envision the personalities through my dramatization of what happened. Because I even have to mock how the person sounds and all of that.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:59

I don't mind none of that. I don't mind none of that. I just want like sometimes I've and and I never want you to I don't I never want you to get the feeling that I don't want you to share your day with me. But I just like sometimes I be like, okay. Two dramatizations, that's it. Now, how are you doing, babe? Let's, you know, let's get to talking and laughing with each other.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:32

And guess what else did He did? I don't call nobody.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:37

No, you don't. She don't, but I mean, it's just, and I be like, look, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:42

Some of the stuff is dramatization, but it's also funny to me. It it yeah, because it's unbelievable. It's unbelievable that they're not. And so I'm not upset, but it's like so funny to me. Like, can you believe that? Yeah, so I think they're just interesting stories. There's so many interesting people.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:01

It definitely is. It's it's a it's a a retirement book, you know, book that you write when you retire and you gotta worry about getting no jobs.

Side Eye: Food Hygiene & “That Part”

SPEAKER_01 1:07:09

It's just, yeah, it's just interesting people um everywhere, really. But um, yeah, I just like to I I tell a good story. You want to hear a good story? I need to tell it.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:22

No, I tell a good story. People be thinking I'm lying. But I be to my story be true.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:27

Sometimes I be thinking he lied too.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:29

A lot of times you thought he was lying. Until what?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:32

Until I found out everybody be lying. So who tells the truth? Is it Kurtz?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:37

Oh no, girl, yes. That's them boys.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:40

Is it De Nova?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:41

Almost killed themselves. Yes. No, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:44

So it's a lot of shit. Like, I don't believe that. I don't believe that.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:46

They're like, what? They did what? He didn't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:49

I did think he was stretching the truth.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:52

But uh, oh, here's one on the list. This is a uh, what do they call honorable mention?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:56

Okay, what's honorable mention one?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:58

So the thing is from the list, sorry, but these 18 habits makes husbands lose attraction after 50.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:05

What is honorable mention?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:07

Drum rope. Treating him like another child. Yep. Yeah. That will not fly.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:22

And nor will it fly vice versa.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:26

And it's good. But it's not as bad as it used to be because she's not teaching kids anymore. But when she was around them kids, like Kree had uh Kree has a I did stuff after school, so I was able to separate pockets. She didn't, she would come straight from work and then home. And then I was still the person that's supposed to walk on the right side of the hallway with my hands beside my side and two fingers to my lips like this. And she sometimes forgot that. And um maybe it was my youthfulness, you know, appearance. But uh sometimes I had to, you know, say, oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on now.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:10

You done.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:11

And then she would, she would, she would do, you know. But she would, she would, she would, um, one thing I will uh praise her for, she would say, My bad. And it was a uh a sincere my bad. My bad. And because she knew it was like, oof. But I also know because there was only a few people that she could uh what's the word I'm looking for?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:40

Find it.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:41

No, be the outlet for her because you know, she worked with some characters everywhere. And so I'm the outlet person a lot, you know. Um the voice of reason that I could talk to and something like that. So, but then like I said, if it was something that would that was stressful, I was that, but which you you I'm supposed to be that. I'm supposed to be that. Like I I I want that, you know, because then I can help her work through it. But definitely treat me like a child. Wait, are you done? Yeah, because this is about the men. Anyways. So is this the is this the woman's list?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:23

Listen, Linda. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:25

We can do a woman's list too. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:26

No, it's not a women's list. I just have to say that sometimes I was talking to like a child too, and someone had to be corrected. Specifically, if we want to give an example, I have an example.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:40

You can give an example. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:41

The example was one time we were talking, and I think it might have been a little bit of a disagreement or something was being said, and y'all know what somebody had to know. What is it to say to me? What did he say? You understand? You understand what I'm saying? No, it was the tone like you were talking to a child. First of all, who are you talking to? That's what I was thinking. Um, so teacher for teacher, we both sometimes forgot that we were talking to our wonderful amazing spouse.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:19

You understand is a trigger for her, regardless of the tone.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:26

No, because do I understand? Who are you talking to?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:30

You do you understand? Do you understand? You understand what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:33

No, that ain't how the tone. No.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:35

No, I'm not, I know that wasn't a tone, but I'm saying it is a trigger for you, regardless of the tone. If it's a conversation about whether someone is, it's almost a right or wrong discussion that we're having. And in a right or wrong discussion that we're having, if I say you you understand, even if it's calm, it's like that it's I'm that's a trigger for her.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:05

So that's something that I had to learn. Oh, I was gonna say, so why would you say it if you know it's a trigger? Because why would you continue? But you don't say it anymore.

Break Hopes, Long Drive, And Aches

SPEAKER_04 1:12:19

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:20

But I was just saying, if you knew it.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:25

Oh, okay, hold on. So am I listening? How many times am I here to provide an answer?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:35

No, you already answered it.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:37

No, you but you I was trying to, but then you did the statement. Remember, you already answered it. You said you just said so, so, so you did uh you know, adjust it. I was like, that's what we just said, so there's no need to even say that. Do you understand?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:58

He's trying to die tonight.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:03

But uh, but that's part of it too. Uh, like you said, learning. Um because some things may not come up until later. You know? Um but once you make that that uh discovery, what do you do with it? What do you do with that information? You know what I mean? Do you use it to uh say, okay, I I noticed it, make a note of it and say this is this is not um healthy in our relationship. Let me make a change. Uh or you say something, look, I see this is not healthy, but let's discuss this because I don't think the intention is wrong, or you know, I think you're getting what I'm what I'm trying to say, you know, confused, you know. So it's it's it's uh a room for communication. I mean, it's it's a a time for communication. It's always a time for communication in a great relationship. For sure. But um you can't be afraid to notice something and then speak up about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:01

Because if you um then it becomes the thing that really can divide you if you keep um letting it happen and you don't speak up about it. People always go with that, I say it all the time. Well, they oughta know. No, people don't know. They don't know, they don't know until you tell them.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:20

And it it is it is unfair. So if Kree does something to me and I don't speak up about it, it is unfair to her when I blow up about it and say it's always happening. You know what I mean? That is so unfair to her if I let her do something that that I hated for eight years, something that she could have easily adjusted adjusted.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:44

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:44

You know what I mean? So you have to um make a note of that and and speak with your partner about it. Um you know, and and then sometimes reevaluate yourself and say, why am I getting upset? Why is this triggering me?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:59

I don't know why that is triggered, why that triggers me. Maybe it's because um I have control issues.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:05

Yeah. Yep. I understand. I understand.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:13

So I like to be in control.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:15

Yeah, I understand. I understand that.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:18

And that's also because I probably have trust issues.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:20

Y'all understand. We understand. Well, that's true. But no, it is definitely.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:26

That has all the things to do with it.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:28

And um, yeah, that's that's a whole nother thing because we could talk about relinquishing control, and sometimes relinquishing control is the best control.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:38

I know. So it's the best control.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:40

Yeah, it's not really for me. I let I don't I I do not mind. It's be like, okay, I'm good. I do not mind. I'm quick to say that. Um, all right, so let's see. Uh Side Eye. Oh, did we have a believing sister for this week?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:57

We don't have a believer sister. We didn't put it together.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:00

You sure we don't? Okay. Well, I guess well, I you know, because I be thinking sometimes we we miss stuff, but then we got some podcast people that we follow out there, and sometimes they be forgetting their topics or run through their topics. Um, so What's the cocktails, horrible dis horror cocktails, dirty discussions? Is that what it's called? It's cocktails, I know that with Kiki and Medina. Yeah, we like that. Yeah, I love that podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:27

Um, I do have one, and I'm gonna try to I think I can save this.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:34

Um, no, I'll wait weekend. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:41

This is my side eye. Um, so I was at a place where pizza was being served. And um, this couple episodes ago. Yeah, and pizza was being served to people. And the person serving the pizza for one did not wear gloves.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:02

And reaching in there with his hand.

Gratitude, Family Time, And Travel

SPEAKER_01 1:17:03

Yeah, reaching in there in it with their hand. But the side eye is this, y'all. Because I'm saying if you wash your hands and all you're doing is serving and you're not doing anything, okay, fine. You wash your hands. That's fine. Your hands are clean. Fine. But this guess what this person did, y'all? The pizza was pretty saucy and cheesy, you know. They licked their fingers to clean them off before serving another slice. And I that's what I should have said out loud. I could not, and I'm not talking about, I mean, licking is bad, period. But what I'm talking about, a whole thumb going in somebody's mouth. Y'all. Yeah, just like that. Just like that. Uh I couldn't believe it. And still reaching and grabbing and licking and going and tabbing and licking and going. Y'all, I couldn't believe it. I was like, well, guess I don't want any pizza today. And um, no, I did. I I did not do that. So um, yeah, that was my side eye. I'm just thinking, as grown people, we don't know how to serve food in a sanitary way. You couldn't get gloves, you couldn't use a napkin, you couldn't resist the urge, you couldn't grabbed the napkin and kind of wiped your hands off and then started again serving the pizzas. But you thought it was alright to stick your whole thumb and fingers in your mouth, not just once, but the entire time of you serving pizza. That's disgusting. Disgusting, y'all. I was like, wow. I was at a loss for words, but I should have said, have y'all heard? Have y'all seen her? That girl. Hilarious. I should have said just that. I wish I would have had it pulled though, because I would have played it so loud. So, anywho, that's my side eye.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:22

My side eye of the week occurred today at the uh science thing. Um, me and uh Monroe was talking. And so we were talking about um snakes or something. You know, they know I hate snakes. And so she said, um, shoot, I uh I need to get something for this, for uh a snake. And I was like, oh yeah, I said, uh a gun. I said, because the uh the only the only kind of snake is the dead snake. And so this um lady was walking, she said, that part. And I was like, you know the ones that always insert themselves.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:07

Oh yes, I do.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:10

And then when they insert themselves with the vernacular to know.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:15

She did it with like, uh, believe it, sister.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:18

Yeah, like when I said, believe it. So she said that part. Yeah, and I and I stopped, I said, and it was actually our side, because I was like, it's our conversation. Get it, stop being no, you know, but I was like, okay, all right, all right, girls, and just kept on walking. I was like, and we looked at each other, we said, and just shook our head, you know. But that was my side out of the week. All right, so what are you looking forward to?

SPEAKER_01 1:20:50

Oh, I am without a doubt looking forward to 4 p.m. tomorrow. Fingers crossed for an early out. We'll see. All right, but um, if not, I'm still I'm still thankful for 4 p.m. and a whole nine days off.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:10

You get your hair done Saturday? Saturday.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:13

I get my hair done. Yeah, I get my hair done Saturday. Cinnabon does too. Cinnabon gets her hair done Saturday. Um, yeah, I am I keep I I think for the last three weeks, I say I'm looking forward to break. So uh, but I am. I'm trying to think of anything else. I mean, um, and of course spending time with my mom and daddy soon. So looking forward to that too. Okay. What are you looking forward to?

Road-Trip Stops, Burgers, And Costco Turkey

SPEAKER_04 1:21:39

Um, I'm looking forward to I was looking forward to the break, but then I'm gonna still look forward to it because I know it's I love your parents and stuff, but it's the drive, and I'm just praying that the drive don't take a lot out of me. Cause it's just I'm this ain't been a good baby speaking at it. No, I'm saying physical use. Oh, physical for your body. Yeah, it's been up and down this year. A lot of, you know, like, dang, what's happening this year for me, you know. But it's it's it's been a lot of good, you know, like like exercising, a lot of nice weight gain, muscle gain, but it's been a lot of aches and pains and stuff that I've been trying to take care of, but it's just it's not even related to the other.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:25

The thing about it is I think all of the hard things you put on your body are now like, y'all. When I tell y'all, when we earlier in marriage and this one was on baseball um teams and softball teams and this guy did some crazy things on those fields. But it was out of making plays. But I could only imagine, so that's in his 30s, 40s. I can only imagine what that looked like in his teens, right? So he believes in going all in balls to the wall, anything that he does, part of his perfectionist, the perfectionist in him. Um the the it's just hitting him. And I think all of those years of the things you put your body through, it's catching up. It's catching up. Uh-huh. I believe that all those things are catching up because I gotta take care of you, you you enjoyed your body. And I swear, if I could find it.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:42

You did all the things. If I could find a softball league now, I would be out there doing the same thing. Yes. So I know no other way.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:48

Yes. So all the things he done put his body through so much that he knows how over, over, how much he overdoes it, that when things happen and people have to call me, he knows. Oh gosh, uh, please don't call my wife. Because I know how he does. He does too much to merch. But so now that's why he has all these ailments now. Because But anyway. Yeah, he over he he did to merch.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:19

I'm looking forward to the break, but kind of not looking, but I'm I'm looking forward to it. Kind of. You know really, I don't know. No, well, I'm not necessarily kind of not. I'm just a drive. That's a drive.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:31

It is, I know.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:32

That is a drive, and it's not, it doesn't get any shorter. You know, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:37

We've got to find a way to make it more enjoyable. We gotta figure out like, what is it gonna be to make it like not seem so long? I'm gonna think of some strategies. I'm gonna ask chat.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:46

We'll ask chat how can we break up this drive to make it tolerable and uh not so like the drive. All right. And I bet you chat will give us some great suggestions.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:58

So, not to rush you, but I don't know how much he is rushing me, but my phone might die.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:02

Okay, good, because I got things to do anyway.

Wrap-Up, Subscribe, And Sign-Off

SPEAKER_04 1:25:04

All right, you do supposed to be running. That's right. Okay. So, what are you grateful for? Welcome back from the break, you guys, to almost refreshingly normal. Well, 50% refreshingly normal. As you can see, we don't have the same gear on because our young lady here needed to finish her run.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:25

Oh, did you shower?

SPEAKER_04 1:25:27

Yes, and I showered. So I still had to do all of that. But it was because uh the the phone did run out uh of power of juice. I gotta figure out how to bring the sound to the phone.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:40

Well, let's keep going before we run out of power.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:42

While doing the juice at the same time. So oh now she wants to rush, but before when she didn't want to rush. But we'll do it. Y'all see it. Keep score. All right, so Kree, what are you thankful for?

SPEAKER_01 1:25:54

Let's see. I'm gonna put, I am thankful for a husband that some mornings, if he beats me out the door and he made himself breakfast, he will make me a breakfast to go. And it will be what he knows I would want to eat, like egg whites and turkey bacon, but he'll make just what he knows that I want. And so it's always a nice surprise to go down and see a breakfast left for me with my name on it.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:23

That's a good man, Savannah. All right, I'm thankful for uh the um opportunity to be able to travel. Because um, you know, in in light of a lot of stuff that went on, you know, in the world recently with the shutdown and stuff, it it put a lot of people through some stress. And uh thankful that we're able to be able to travel to still see family.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:56

You know what I'm saying? While we can. Um, you know, a lot of times we're like, man, we ain't going this time, but you gotta, you know, you don't know if this time is the last time, so you know, respectfully, so you gotta, you know, go ahead and just spend some time, spend as much time as you can with them. And I'm glad that I do have uh in-laws that I do not mind sitting with all day, several days, talking and laughing with. Um it's crazy because people say, you know how that goes with in-laws, I'll be like, nah. I like my in-laws. And then they look at me like, I mean, you could at least agree with you. Sure you do. Yeah, right, sure you do. You could at least agree with me. But uh, nah, that's what I'm thankful for that we're gonna, you know, we're able to travel and we're and I have some uh in-laws that I don't mind traveling to see. Even 15 hours. Because there's some folks, they in-laws live across the street. Well, not across the street per se, but less than an hour away, yeah, across town, and they definitely not going to see them. But we're going, we're gonna make that ride.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:58

Woo!

SPEAKER_01 1:28:00

Yeah, so I think I got an idea. Like, I know chat's gonna help us, but maybe in certain places we can find places where we go and get something new in a certain city or something that we drive through. If like it it I know we're driving early hours.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:16

I remember I said before it was gonna be 15 hours.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:19

So this is gonna be 20 hours. That is true. Maybe not every, but maybe we choose like a few three places. Something. I'm gonna find something significant for a stop. It won't be a long stop, but it'll be a stop that maybe we'll align with gas, or you know, we can maybe align the gas stop with that stop.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:40

Well, we could always do like we used to. Every time we stop at one of them little hole in the wall gas, they get some good fried chicken gizzards.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:46

No, I don't want to do that. I was thinking more coffee shops.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:50

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:51

Not fried gizzards. The gizzards are the great road snacks. One time we did get some good fried gizzards. I don't know where we were, but they were delicious.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:00

They were very good.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:01

But I was thinking more coffee.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:02

We stopped that place twice. Yeah. One time y'all was still kind of asleep. Yeah. And then the other time you was up. But they were very good gizzards. Anywho.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:11

So all right, guys.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:14

But we gotta check out the hamburger joint. They said one of the top hamburger joints. It was like the hamburger joints.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:21

Because they don't even sell anything you can get.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:22

But they didn't sell uh turkey. Well, it's fine. As long as y'all can try it and tell how good it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:27

Hey, you know what I'm looking for?

SPEAKER_04 1:29:29

She always says she don't want it, but she'll take a bite of whatever it is you got. So she doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:32

I'm just saying, I don't like to go and I can't say we can't kind of compare at least something that you have that we could compare or have. We don't want to go someplace and and you there's nothing that you can have.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:43

She goes to the beauty salon.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:45

You can go to the beauty salon if you want to. I'm sure she would shave you up and wash you up and do all the things. First of all, so anywho, I will tell you what I'm looking forward to in which tall eating. Uh Brahms, the best little burgers.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:59

Um

SPEAKER_01 1:30:00

Uh spangles.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:01

It just tastes better.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:04

All right. Um, so looking forward to those two burger places because they don't have them here. So I'll I will be getting a gourmet supreme with cheese and uh Brahms number one with cheese.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:16

Well, I'm looking forward to trying the uh smoked turkey we got from Costco.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:20

Oh, yeah. If y'all haven't got your smoked Costco turkey, we hear that that is the lick.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:26

Yep, I got two of them.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:28

So instead of y'all, some of y'all trying to first time fry a turkey burning down your homes, just go buy you one from Costco. Yeah. They're reasonably priced, somewhere between 40 to 50 something dollars. Pop it in the oven. You can even lie and tell somebody you smoked it all night.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:44

Because you can still, I seen this one lady, she poured melted butter over it, did pour Cajun seasoning on it when she put it in the oven. Yeah. That way it gave a little more flavor to it.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:52

Don't tell nobody. Tell them you did it.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:54

You did it.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:55

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:55

Yeah. All right. So we're going to get out of here, y'all. Uh we appreciate you as always. Uh continue to watch, like, and subscribe. Also, when I'm saying watch, like, I know sometimes YouTube, like, it's a uh just an audio, but I've been trying to be regular and consistent about putting the video up on YouTube.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:17

Y'all, I haven't even gone and look. I need to go look. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:19

Well, don't look at this week, because this week made me remember. I said, oh shoot, I forgot to put the video up. But it will be up before Saturday. But there's tons of videos up of uh of the YouTube on YouTube. So thank y'all again. Thank you. We appreciate you. We love you. This is Kefa.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:36

Gracias. Gracias.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:39

This is who? Your Glacier. This is Kefla, and this is Glacias.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:44

This is Craig.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:46

And this is the Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:50

Now let me go get in the shower.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:52

Please.