Holiday Boundaries, Real Talk

A season meant for joy can get loud with pressure, plans, and family politics—so we pulled the plug on perfection and built a holiday that actually feels good. We start with lighthearted banter about shopping days, hidden gifts, and that eternal real vs artificial tree debate, then shift into the real work of December: protecting peace, choosing boundaries, and keeping kids out of grown-up crossfire. As educators, we also unpack finals-week stress, meeting overload, and how smart scheduling beats burnout when schools and families need us most.

Two listener stories anchor the conversation. The first: a mother-in-law saga where a child is sidelined during Christmas, and a parent finally draws the line. The second: an aunt who refuses to babysit a rude nephew while the child’s mom fires insults—she offers a sitter instead. We talk about marital hierarchy (your home first), receipts for accountability, and the simple rule that gets you through tricky seasons: we teach people how to treat us, then enforce it. No pettiness. Just clarity.

To keep it fun, we run through holiday Would You Rather and Eliminate One: Waffle House over Chick-fil-A catering, dry chicken over fruitcake, thoughtful cheap gift over pricey miss. We map out a Cajun Christmas—seafood gumbo, Cajun pasta, fried fish, salad, yeast rolls, bread pudding with bourbon sauce, and praline pecan cheesecake—because menus become memories when they’re made with intention. Between gratitude for kids who crushed dinner duty and plans for rest, yoga, and maybe a spa day, we end where the best holidays live: simple, present, and refreshingly normal.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs boundary courage, and leave a quick review—we read every word and it helps more listeners find us. What boundary are you holding this holiday?

Don't forget to Like, Comment, Share, and Subscribe.

Thank you for listening!

Transcript

Warm Welcome & Holiday Countdown

SPEAKER_03 0:03

The refreshingly normal podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

All right. Hmm. One, two, three. Good evening, beloved. I am Maya Angela. It is time.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

All right. Three, two, one. Welcome back, you guys. Welcome to the Refreshingly Normal podcast. I am one of your hosts, Keith Luck.

SPEAKER_06 0:56

And I am your other host, Lucretia.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

And we're almost there to the Christmas season. You don't like that one? Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:13

How many days of shopping are left? Today is the.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

I don't know, but we need to do it.

SPEAKER_06 1:19

You have. Well, there's 20 more days for Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:26

So I guess actually if you are shopping in person, 19.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:31

If you aren't shopping in person, if you're not shopping in person and you're shopping online, and you have about 15 or maybe 14.

SPEAKER_03 1:45

Dang, I hate you open that purse.

SPEAKER_06 1:48

Why?

SPEAKER_03 1:49

Because I could have wrapped it up.

SPEAKER_06 1:50

Oh, child, I knew where that purse was.

SPEAKER_03 1:52

I could have wrapped it up and you'd have been like, oh my God, thank you.

SPEAKER_06 1:56

I would have not.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

You would have.

SPEAKER_06 1:58

No, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_03 1:59

Whole year pass by. You didn't even open it. Whatever. It's all good. But uh, yeah, it's I don't know, but just shopping, I mean, does I don't know. I I think I've just been so uh lately.

SPEAKER_06 2:13

We don't need anything. That is the thing.

SPEAKER_03 2:16

Yeah, that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_06 2:17

So we are blessed with plenty.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

Yeah, I got some ideas though.

SPEAKER_06 2:22

So we don't really need anything for Christmas. No, I know. So, you know.

Weekly Recap: Trainings, Weather, Engagement News

SPEAKER_03 2:29

But I got some ideas. So let's get it poppin'. How was your day? Well, how was your week?

SPEAKER_06 2:39

How was my week? Well, well, well.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

You want me to start?

SPEAKER_06 2:46

I don't, I mean, it was the same.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 2:51

Um, lots of trainings. We had, of course, our little learning day, digital learning or whatever day on Tuesday. So I did a training then. And boy, were people just tired on that day. I think it had a lot to do with coming back from Thanksgiving break than on top of the weather this week has been very Seattle-ish. Yeah, very gloomy, cold. And I think people would rather be nestled in their beds.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

Nestled and bestled.

SPEAKER_06 3:21

Um, so anywho, that that was, but um, a training that I did with some teachers on yesterday, they were all engaged. And um, yeah, it was a really good training.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

That's good.

SPEAKER_06 3:40

Um, let's see. Um, other than that, that's about it. Our niece got engaged. Yep. I really love you. I love you, Deja. That's all I ask of you. Anyways, her name is Deja.

SPEAKER_03 4:10

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 4:10

She um was proposed to like that lady on um what TikTok. He deposed to me. He deposed to me. So she got deposed.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

She got deposed too.

SPEAKER_06 4:27

So it was um a surprise, of course, um, where she lives near Nashville.

SPEAKER_09 4:33

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 4:34

And so she was so excited, and we've been knowing that it was coming.

SPEAKER_03 4:40

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 4:41

Her uh fiance now.

SPEAKER_03 4:45

Fiance.

SPEAKER_06 4:46

Her fiance gave her a beautiful ring. This guy over here was like, who she thinks she is? Housewives of Beverly Hills?

SPEAKER_03 4:56

Housewives of Clarksville.

SPEAKER_06 4:59

It's a beautiful ring. So um when I talked to her the day after, I was like, um, so did you get go to work and show everybody, you know, you're engaged and you're doing the ring? With the millennials. She was like, and great. I didn't even go to work. I just stayed at home all day and admired my ring.

SPEAKER_03 5:21

Millennials.

SPEAKER_06 5:22

She didn't even go to work on Thursday. And she's like, and I thought maybe I might not even go Friday, but I think I'm gonna go. So, anyway, so congratulations to the two of them. So excited for um the wedding that is coming. I don't know when. She said they'll probably do a summer spring because that's their slow um season for their job. So it'll be a summer, spring, summer or spring.

SPEAKER_03 5:48

That's an expensive time for a wedding. Yeah, it is venues. But hey, hey, make it happen, Captain.

SPEAKER_06 5:56

That's right. So that was um that probably was a that was probably the most exciting thing of the week because I knew that she was going to be elated.

SPEAKER_03 6:07

She was like, Oh, I'm dead.

SPEAKER_06 6:09

I'm dead.

SPEAKER_09 6:12

That's her.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

Hey, Korea. I'm dead.

SPEAKER_06 6:20

That's certainly her. So yeah, um, we're excited for her. We of course would have loved to have been there for the surprise and everything, but we got to work.

SPEAKER_03 6:31

You gotta work.

SPEAKER_06 6:32

And um, and so um we weren't able to be there, but we were there in spirit.

SPEAKER_03 6:38

That's right.

SPEAKER_06 6:38

We were there in spirits.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

That's right.

SPEAKER_06 6:40

Anywho, what about your week?

SPEAKER_03 6:43

Um, my week was very stressful, tiring. Um, you know, finals week for myself this week. I was like, wait, that was um stressful is just, you know, because hey, I got IEPs to try to knock out.

SPEAKER_06 7:02

Some dang IEPs, y'all.

SPEAKER_03 7:04

They got EOCs. And of course they're gonna be.

SPEAKER_06 7:07

IEPs, EOCs.

Finals Week Stress & School Logistics

SPEAKER_03 7:08

So now they said don't schedule your IEPs to the beginning. I mean till before school or after school. And the GNA teachers don't want to participate because, you know, they don't want to have to because they still have class, so they that means they would have to be there maybe 7:15.

SPEAKER_06 7:24

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

And they don't want to be there that early. And I understand that too. And then they don't want to be there that late after doing all this testing and all that stuff. So it's it's difficult to get participants.

SPEAKER_06 7:34

Somebody's gonna have to compromise.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

Yeah. But at the same time, as long as I can get the parent there, we make it happen. And I got their uh current function and progress.

SPEAKER_06 7:42

Well have the the teachers write, can write up something?

SPEAKER_03 7:45

I mean, they're supposed to be there, but uh sometimes if you have the parent there and have the statements from the teacher, you know, with the current grade and current functioning and progress, and any notes, you you know, you're gonna be alright. Um because you have to make it happen. You know, you have to make it happen. The the key is the parent being there. And so uh and then I have two immediately well, upon returning. So, like the seventh and the eighth, that's their deadline.

SPEAKER_05 8:13

Of January. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

So I'm just gonna collect the data from the teachers because if I wait till then, they only gonna have them for like three days. Oh, yeah. And then I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 8:21

So it's better to get it from the previous teacher.

SPEAKER_03 8:23

Get it from the previous teacher, and then I knock those out.

SPEAKER_06 8:25

Uh look at you, Mr. Uh, I.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

I.E.P., baby. And so uh, but uh, but yeah, and then um, like I said, the main thing was just, you know, worrying about these papers I have to do. Um it's so funny because today, during one of my classes, um, you know, I always tell my kids, you know, have a good day, say no to drugs, and you know, no to Justin Bieber or no to Taylor Swill, whatever I say. So today I said, hey, y'all have a good day. Hey, remember one more day, wake up Friday, baby. They said, Coach, today is Friday. I said, What? They looked at me, started dialing. I said, see how stressed I am, y'all? I said, golly. I said, but look at God, I'm so excited. I got a surprise today. And this was second block. So the whole first part of the day, I'm thinking it's Thursday. Thinking it's Thursday.

SPEAKER_06 9:15

And then it was Friday.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

Surprise.

SPEAKER_06 9:17

Surprise, surprise. Surprise, surprise.

SPEAKER_03 9:22

Yeah, and so um that that's my week. Um, it should be much more uh freeing after Wednesday. That's when my last paper is due. So after Wednesday.

SPEAKER_07 9:36

I'm free.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

Oh, yeah, I'm free. All right, but other than that, man.

SPEAKER_06 9:42

I forgot to share one thing about the week. Okay, good. Something I told the tell the boys because you know, we're working. They're a car, I think, is finished up in the final, finishing up a final. Kimani's done with his finals, and I was like, since y'all are home all day, um, let's share the cooking love. And so we started this week where they um cook a meal. And that was so awesome. And their meals were delicious, I'll just have to say. So um uh I did Monday, you did Tuesday, and then you were doing Wednesday, but then had to go to physical therapy. And Kimani had started to help, so then he just went ahead and did it and delish. And then um yesterday made um like uh supposed to have been Indian curry. It was Asian.

SPEAKER_03 10:36

Oh, Asian curry, Asian curry chicken.

SPEAKER_06 10:38

They made Asian curry chicken. Ooh, it was so good. So this week everything was like so good and so different. Like everybody did something different. Like um, I did the baked chicken and broccoli and stuff, and I did the tortellini uh chicken sausage and spinach soup, and then we had salmon and salad and last sweet potatoes, and then the chicken, um, curry chicken, Asian curry chicken. Today pizza. And today is pizza. Nobody's cooking that, but Papa, Papa John's, that is. So, anywho, that um that was really nice. So I was like, oh, I can't wait next week to see what next week holds for our dinner.

SPEAKER_03 11:21

We got our tree.

SPEAKER_06 11:22

Yeah, we got oh, yeah, we got our tree yesterday. But let me tell y'all something. This one did not want to get an artificial tree. We went to Lowe's because that's where we typically go, although we forgot last year we did go to Home Depot because I don't know, Lowe's isn't getting as many trees as they used to. Yeah, real trees. Because, you know, we talked about how um this guy likes real trees. So they didn't have many. Um, and so I was like, we can do an artificial tree. Yeah, and he was against it.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

Yeah, but hey, like I said, I'd rather I'd rather be happy than write.

SPEAKER_06 11:58

Well, it doesn't, I mean, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_03 12:01

I'm saying then the wind uh, you know, say, oh, let me win.

Kids Cook Dinner: Wins In The Kitchen

SPEAKER_06 12:04

It doesn't really matter to me either way. I think cost-wise, over time, the artificial tree is more cost efficient.

SPEAKER_03 12:13

But you can't put a price on tradition.

SPEAKER_06 12:19

Anywho, we um so I told him because we got the the artificial tree at a good price because it was marked almost half price um at Lowe's, and so I said if you would like$500? Yeah, it was regular$598, and we got it for$200 and something dollars. And um, it's a nine-foot tree because we have tall ceilings in our living room, so we're gonna put it in there, but then in our family room, I told him if you really would like a real tree, we could just get a smaller because um because the ceilings aren't quite as tall in the family room, and then we can have your real tree in the family room. I don't know what he's decided in regards to that. I think he's maybe not gonna do it, but he could totally do it. He could have the both of he could have the you know, both worlds.

SPEAKER_03 13:13

I'll see how I feel after Christmas. If I feel like some just didn't go right, yeah, then next year I had to know a real tree.

SPEAKER_06 13:22

Anywho, so that's where we go.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

So I got the cedar spray from Oh, you did buy some cedar spray. No, the spray that I had already purchased from Trader Joe's when we was in Kansas.

SPEAKER_06 13:32

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 13:32

What does it go on? It's like an atmosphere, a room spray. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 13:36

And then we can get a couple candles.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 13:38

And then it'll smell just like a fresh tree in there. So, anywho, that's the word on the street.

SPEAKER_03 13:47

On the street. All right, so so everybody knows. This is the holiday season. Tis the season.

SPEAKER_06 13:54

To be jolly.

SPEAKER_03 13:55

To be jolly. But how can I be? When I have nobody. Right. But we have somebody. We do. And you may have someone too. So when it's tis the season, tis is what we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_06 14:10

Tiz what?

SPEAKER_03 14:11

We is gonna tell you some stories about Christmas or holidays.

SPEAKER_06 14:16

What it is.

SPEAKER_03 14:17

What it is.

SPEAKER_06 14:18

What a tay.

SPEAKER_03 14:19

Sada tay. Poud it all day. So, first of all, let's do let's do our um what? That one story is gonna co fall under the category of believe it sister.

SPEAKER_06 14:32

Believe it sister.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

Okay. And so it's actually we have two stories. So a believe it sister and a uh what you say.

SPEAKER_06 14:41

What you say.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

That's right. So ready for believe it, sister, and then we'll get ready for what you say. All right. So here we go for believe it sister. Uh, do you want to read this? I want me to read this, and then you'll read the next one.

SPEAKER_09 14:56

Sure. You can read that one out there.

SPEAKER_03 14:57

So this one says my mother-in-law excluded me and my child from her family. So I made a move she didn't expect.

SPEAKER_09 15:11

Believe it. Believe it, sister.

Real vs Artificial Tree Debate

SPEAKER_03 15:15

All right. So here's this letter. Dear Bright side, that's I guess that's the people who she wrote to. Okay. When I married into my husband's family, I thought I was gaining a second home. Instead, I quickly realized I was more uh Yeah. Instead, I quickly realized I was more like an afterthought. My father-in-law and mother-in-law made it clear in subtle ways. Dinners where I wasn't invited, holiday plans discussed in front of me, but never extended. Group chats created without me. At first, I brushed it off thinking it was just an oversight. But it wasn't. The worst moment came last Christmas. My son came home from school and said, Grandpa told me Santa only visits their side of the family. He was confused. What? Why his cousins were showered with gifts at the family gathering while he only got a small card.

SPEAKER_09 16:14

A card.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

Watching his little face fall broke me in a way I can't describe. That's when I stopped making excuses. This year, I organized a birthday dinner for my kid at our place. My parents came, my closest friends brought their kids, and my children finally felt celebrated. We left, played games, bingo, and filled the house with warmth. My father-in-law and mother-in-law weren't invited. They were furious. My mother-in-law texted me paragraphs about how I was tearing the family apart and using the kids as pawns. My husband stayed quiet.

SPEAKER_06 17:00

Ooh, what's wrong with him?

SPEAKER_03 17:02

Clearly torn. But I realized something important. I wasn't tearing the family apart. They did that themselves years ago by deciding who counted and who didn't. For the first time in years, I didn't feel like an outsider. I felt like a mom protecting her kids. And I'll do it again in a heartbeat, too. Believe it, sister. So, what do you think about this story? First of all, I'm reading the next story.

SPEAKER_06 17:37

I can't do it that way.

SPEAKER_03 17:39

You're not supposed to do it like that.

SPEAKER_06 17:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:41

This is me.

SPEAKER_06 17:42

Now, um I'm just wondering why they obviously the in-laws do not like her.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

Yes, obviously.

SPEAKER_06 17:51

Yeah. I'm just wondering why. I'm also wondering why the husband doesn't put his foot down and say, hey, um, why aren't we invited to these things?

SPEAKER_03 18:04

I mean, I understand why the husband is not saying that, because we know some people won't, you know, it's not in them. Yeah. And plus it's like, well, that's my mom. You know, that's my family. I can't, what am I gonna say?

SPEAKER_06 18:19

So I just wonder also, like, bef prior to them getting married, what was the relationship like before?

SPEAKER_03 18:28

Yeah, were there were there signs of tension?

SPEAKER_06 18:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

Um, dislike, you know, did you feel it or whatever?

SPEAKER_06 18:33

For me, it would be it would be kind of challenging to marry into a family that um I felt like they didn't want me around.

SPEAKER_08 18:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 18:44

So it makes I'm like wondering, did something happen? Were things shifted or changed? Right. Has it always been this way? Like, I just wondering like what that is all about. Um, but I mean, I agree, like, um, I know people say you shouldn't do tit for tat, because that's definitely a tit for tat.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

Um tit for tay.

SPEAKER_06 19:09

Tip for tay. But I'm just thinking, like, she went ahead and wanted them to feel what she and her child feels.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

I would have done it.

SPEAKER_06 19:21

Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

I mean, you know, I would have been like, I bet.

unknown 19:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:25

So we're gonna, you know, since we're not apart, so I'm not gonna try.

SPEAKER_06 19:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

But then I'm gonna go ahead and move forward with my family to make sure they're.

SPEAKER_06 19:46

That the mom has?

unknown 19:47

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_03 19:47

It's probably critical. You know, that critical eye mom stress because mom knows she's gonna be, oh, she's gonna say this is not right, this is not clean, and this is and then you just know when people are around people that you have.

Holiday Boundaries: Believe It, Sister Story

SPEAKER_06 20:00

To be around, and you know they don't like you. Like that's just uncomfortable. It steals your joy. And so for me, it feels like she just set a boundary for herself. And so she's decided this is how y'all want it to be. That's fine. And I don't have any control over that, but I do have control over this.

SPEAKER_03 20:21

But before she does anything, the husband should speak. That's his mother. The husband should speak.

SPEAKER_06 20:27

Yeah. He should have spoken up a long time ago. Yes. And to me, um, she said they didn't invite she, the mom and the child. Like they didn't invite her and the child. Was the husband going?

SPEAKER_01 20:43

I don't know. He might have been.

SPEAKER_06 20:44

And so to me, if the husband, if it were you, then it'd be like, y'all come on and get in the car because we all are going.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

I'd have been like, my family's going. And as soon as I've noticed y'all feeling uneasy, all right, y'all, we out. You know, but like, you know, I'm saying, everybody's not me.

SPEAKER_06 21:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:03

You know, I do not mind speaking up.

SPEAKER_06 21:05

Yeah, you don't mind speaking up about things. But yeah, you're right. Some people don't do that.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

Yeah, it's like, well, that's my mother. I can't say that to my mother and my father.

SPEAKER_09 21:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:15

You know, I'll be like, no, that ain't right. You know, we out.

unknown 21:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 21:20

But why y'all don't come back? Well, last time we came, this is what we saw. This is what happened.

SPEAKER_06 21:24

And then to on purpose at holidays, the other kids are opening up these extravagant gifts. Extravagant gifts, and you get him a card. And that baby gets a card.

SPEAKER_09 21:32

Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 21:34

And so even if you don't like the mama, the child, that's that's the child has nothing to do with whatever conflict happened between you and the mom. I think that also happens when parents are feuding and kids suffer. And it's like, listen, y'all are upset with each other. Whatever has to do with the children has nothing to, they shouldn't have to suffer because two adults are having difficulty getting along. Where there's families that don't get along, so then they don't want the kids to interact. Or they don't do like keep the kids should have no parts in it.

SPEAKER_03 22:13

Yeah, but a lot of times they need a, they need a uh they need a a larger cheering section.

unknown 22:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:20

So they include the kids on their side.

SPEAKER_09 22:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

Well, this is what you you know, your folks ain't doing this or that and that, you know, and then they put the pull the kids in that way. You know, and which is of course isn't right, but you often see that is like they're trying to get people on their side so the kids in the middle just torn.

SPEAKER_06 22:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:38

They don't know what to do.

SPEAKER_06 22:39

And the jab is harder.

SPEAKER_03 22:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 22:41

So that that's the idea is that it's not really about hurting the child, you know, when you only give that child that little card that you're hurting the mama.

SPEAKER_03 22:51

My bad, go ahead. Oh, and I would say, but I would have loved when she would have said that uh you're tearing the family apart, I'd be like, Rewind the tape.

SPEAKER_06 23:03

And people like that, it doesn't even matter.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

Yeah, watch this. So who was tearing apart when you did this? And when you did, I don't even care about the answer. But I'm letting them know I know, right? You know, these are the checks and balances. Yeah. So here's the receipt, bam, bam, bam. However, you add it up, that's on you. But this is my reasoning for being the way I am. So either you're gonna change or we're gonna continue.

SPEAKER_06 23:26

Yeah, I was talking to somebody today, and I asked her, how was her Thanksgiving? And she was like, Oh, I just really, you know what, we had a quiet Thanksgiving, and we stayed at home, me, my son, and my husband, and I don't know if she has another child or not, but anyhow, she says, because I just felt like this Thanksgiving, I didn't want to do the drama. And she says, Sometimes my family comes with a lot of drama. And she said, and we decided, she said, even my children said, can we just have this holiday just with us?

SPEAKER_03 24:01

Hey, you know we know.

SPEAKER_06 24:02

Yeah, uh. And so um she said, and it was very nice. I said, Well, sometimes you do, you have to set boundaries, and even with family, um, to protect your peace. And so there's nothing wrong with that. I said, until you decide when and how, and if you want to.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

Yeah, you definitely gotta protect around family because family will disguise themselves as the Trojan horse. You know, they'll come like they're friendly bearing gifts, but then all of a sudden things take a turn for the worse. They had they was like, Oh, I'm gonna come in, and they know. Uh, here you go again, trying to prove yourself and trying to do this, and you know, you think you better than I know. You know, just out of nowhere, you get blindsided. So, but no, I'm I'm proud of this mother for taking up for her family and doing what she did. So uh if y'all out there dealing with live life and and stuff like that, uh men, you know, or or whoever's parents is causing the ruckus. You gotta stand you gotta you gotta stand your ground for your family. You know what I mean? And if you don't want to stand your ground for your family, then uh you need to check how uh marital hierarchy goes. Because once you get married, you know, that is your new family of importance. It's not saying you can't help your mother and father, but it's saying that your house has to be taken care of. You understand? So um just make sure if y'all are going through that, hey, get that person to stand up. But if you if you don't have a person to stand up, like if let's say, for example, your in-laws just don't invite you and the the maybe the baby dad or the baby mama pass away or don't live with whatever, stand up for yourself. You know what I'm saying? So don't let nobody do you wrong. What what do you always tell people? You have to teach people how to.

SPEAKER_06 25:54

Oh, we teach people how to treat us.

SPEAKER_03 25:56

That's right.

SPEAKER_06 25:57

In all aspects, in family, yeah, in friendships, in business, yeah, work, like we treat people how to teach us. If they don't learn, teach people how to treat us.

SPEAKER_03 26:08

If they don't learn or adhere to the lesson that you've given them, then you're not.

SPEAKER_06 26:11

You don't have to fool with them. You move on. Move on with them. You move on. So it's important. And when we when I say you teach people how to treat you, that also goes along the lines of you communicating how you want to be treated.

SPEAKER_03 26:26

Yeah, that's where that teaching comes from.

SPEAKER_06 26:28

You can't just expect people to know. But once I tell you, and we have a conversation about it, and if you choose otherwise, then I'm the I'm now going to decide how my interactions will be with you.

SPEAKER_03 26:45

It's like that episode of Martin and Gina when um at the you know, Mama Payne didn't like Gina. Oh, yeah. But then at the end she said, I might learn to like you. Remember, she said that? And she said, Oh, Mama Payne really? Yeah, but get off of me, don't kiss me. She said that. So, hey, that's how it is. The mama might learn to like you. Yeah. You know, my Martin fans, y'all know exactly what I'm talking about. All right, so your story. Let's see here.

SPEAKER_06 27:14

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

And so I made it because it was the other way, it was like just jumping and skipping. So all you gotta do is start right here. You know what that stands for?

SPEAKER_06 27:24

Yeah, age and gender.

SPEAKER_03 27:26

I'm just saying. I'm just saying 34, because it said female 34F. Oh my god, why she talk about her boobies? Oh gosh, those are some big boobs, too.

SPEAKER_06 27:37

34F. All right. So the sister is 34 years old. She has a child who's six months, who has always been rude to me. So there are two sisters. One is 34, one is 36. And one of them, I'm sorry, yeah, six years old, a little boy who's six years old.

SPEAKER_03 27:59

Um, y'all hear Cinnabon snoring.

SPEAKER_06 28:02

She's snoring so loud. Anywho, so there's two sisters. There's a nephew who's six years old, and he has always been rude to his aunt. He has called her names because she's overweight, and whenever um over her house, he's just made a mess, screamed, he's left the refridge door open, he's thrown food on the floor. Um, he just seems to have some behavioral issues, she says.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

And what's the name of this section? I forgot what we call this one.

SPEAKER_06 28:44

You said, wait. Believe the sister said we forgot. Oh my gosh, y'all. What we call it. We're gonna have to rewind.

SPEAKER_03 28:54

We rewind.

Second Story: Nephew, Surgery, And Saying No

SPEAKER_06 28:55

All right, but she says, I told my sister she didn't I don't want to look after him again because I can't control him. I'm not a parent and I just don't know the right tactics. And so she was okay with it as she has other friends who can care for him. So her sister is now having to go into the hospital for surgery, um, and she'll be out for a few days, and she's telling her that there's nobody who can look after the nephew at the door. So now I don't know what to do because while, of course, I would take vacation time for family, I don't have much left as far as vacation time, to be honest, and I don't want to spend it dealing with a kid who just won't give me any respect. I told my sister I'm not happy to do it. And I said, that's so funny, because you people usually say, I'm happy to do it. She said, I told my sister I'm not happy to do it. And I said I'd be okay to pay for a babysitter, but she called me a selfish cow, a selfish heifer.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

Now remember that part right there.

SPEAKER_06 30:17

Oh, because she's big. Others in the family have since texted with various stances asking me to please reconsider or asking, why am I being like this? First of all, while y'all while come on now.

SPEAKER_03 30:33

Come on, keep going, keep reading. We'll talk, we'll talk later.

SPEAKER_06 30:36

As if I'm meant to magically figure out how to stop him destroying my house or just to put up with it. Um what's AITA? And in the A.

SPEAKER_03 30:51

A.

SPEAKER_06 30:53

What does that acronym mean?

SPEAKER_03 30:56

What it says after that.

SPEAKER_06 30:58

For just not wanting to deal with it, even though it's to help my sister with a medical issue. Um, she is wanting to know.

SPEAKER_03 31:14

Is she in the wrong?

SPEAKER_06 31:15

Is she in the wrong?

SPEAKER_03 31:16

No, she's not because it's obvious the little boy's bad. He's a tornado. Ain't nobody got time for no tornadoes in the house. And he gets it from his mama. Cause she said he talks about his weight, and the mama called him her a cow. So mom knows that the kid is bad because she lets him do what he does. And now she needs some help. And I wonder what kind of help she needs. Because so sh mom might be getting to the point where she's turning into what she may be considered a cow. So that surgery may be some kind of body surgery. Because she don't want to be like her sister. Uh-huh. Because she's the, you know, obviously thinks less of her sister. And then she knows if, you know, we already talk about her being big in the house. Ooh, now I'm getting big. Let me go get this surgery. How dare you not take care of my baby kids while I go and get my BBL took 360?

SPEAKER_06 32:18

Mm-hmm. So you're Trifling. Yeah. And so, on top of that, family calling and making her feel bad about it. First of all, y'all do it.

SPEAKER_03 32:32

Y'all do it. Help.

SPEAKER_06 32:33

Why y'all don't want to watch little Timothy?

SPEAKER_03 32:36

You know what I would have done? Because she, you know, I can pay for daycare. You know, daycare ain't cheap.

SPEAKER_06 32:40

And somebody, and she said she would pay for a babysitter.

SPEAKER_03 32:42

Yeah, but she, but that ain't cheap. No. So you know what I do? I'll take that little price and say, hey, and I with the sister and everything. Hey, uh, such and such. So on the phone, how about I pay for your ticket to come out here? They'd be like, oh, that way I won't be the only one being looked at as as you know, conniving.

SPEAKER_06 33:03

I guarantee Timothy is a problem in many places.

SPEAKER_03 33:09

In many places. That's why everybody's saying no.

SPEAKER_06 33:11

Yes. That's why everybody is. Ain't nobody coming to help her. Girl, please watch Timothy because we do not want her calling us, asking us. Why won't you do this? Because why can't you do it? I can't believe you're telling your sister no because they don't want her to call them.

SPEAKER_03 33:27

This is how bad Timothy is.

SPEAKER_06 33:29

How bad is he?

SPEAKER_03 33:30

Timothy's so bad.

SPEAKER_06 33:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

The lady's going in the hospital. Yeah. Family members are not even coming to the state or wherever she is for the sake that she's in the house. It's obvious she don't have support.

SPEAKER_09 33:43

Right.

SPEAKER_03 33:43

So mom or somebody should be, at least, what do you need me to do around the house? Help you. Because if you're going to be in the hospital for so many days, when you get out, you're still not going to be ready to rock and roll, especially not with Timothy.

SPEAKER_09 33:56

No.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

But the family know that. So they're not worried about her even in the hospital. So that's what I'm saying. That's just how bad Timothy is for you not even come to see about somebody going in the house.

SPEAKER_06 34:05

First of all, I'm just going to say you didn't call me a cow. So listen, me and my cow self gonna sit up in the house and not watch the child. Because no is a complete sentence.

SPEAKER_03 34:19

You said that. No is a complete sentence.

SPEAKER_06 34:21

So I'm done. And you can be mad all you want to. Now it's your problem. And everybody in the family can be upset with me. But the one thing I do know is that nobody else in the family came and said, Well, I'll do one of the days.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

Come on now.

SPEAKER_06 34:37

I'll wash them in the morning if you wash them in the evening. That's right. Not one single person volunteered to take a day, to take a few hours. None of it.

SPEAKER_03 34:47

But you call me a cal.

SPEAKER_06 34:48

Yeah. But I will tell you something. She needs to get Timothy together. Because let me tell you, one of my friends, her son, when he was little, came to my house and he used to just mischievous.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Mischievous.

SPEAKER_06 35:03

So the next time she asked me to watch him, he came to my apartment. I said, and she was sitting there. I said, uh oh, you're gonna sit on this sofa. And anytime you need to get up, you need to ask me until your mama comes back to get you. Honey, that baby did not come to my house.

SPEAKER_03 35:27

No more. No more.

SPEAKER_06 35:30

But you got listen, we teach people how to treat us, even children.

SPEAKER_03 35:35

Yep. Yep.

SPEAKER_06 35:36

Because he knew, oh goodness, I'm not gonna be able to run amok in this space. You're right. So you need to be the Amy that says, listen, you sit your little behind on that sofa. That's right. And I wish you would get up.

SPEAKER_03 35:51

That's right.

SPEAKER_06 35:52

So I I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_03 35:54

And be truthful with mom. You look, you know your child is hell on wheels.

SPEAKER_09 35:59

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 36:00

He won't sit down. He's mean. He talks too minimal mean, I'll fight a kid. My relative, we we going toe for toe.

SPEAKER_06 36:10

No, and and I didn't have kids. I mean, I was a teacher, but I didn't have kids at that moment. So the excuse of her saying she doesn't have kids, she doesn't know. You don't know. We do know she does know him calling her name she doesn't like. You know he's like, she does know him opening up her refrigerator, leaving it open is wrong. You know the things that are wrong. So then you just correct it.

SPEAKER_03 36:33

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 36:34

You tell him you're not gonna call me name.

SPEAKER_03 36:37

It's just like complaining at a restaurant. You ain't got no restaurant, so how you gonna complain about how the food is?

SPEAKER_06 36:44

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 36:44

Well, I cook at home, but you go on back there and cook. But a restaurant is different.

SPEAKER_06 36:49

That's right. So anything that doesn't feel right, you make it, you people need to fix it.

SPEAKER_03 36:54

You correct it.

SPEAKER_06 36:54

You correct it. So you correct that child. So that's that's not an excuse either. So um, but yeah, I wouldn't watch it. Actually, called me a cow, honey.

SPEAKER_03 37:04

Oh, I was done. I would be done. I would have been done.

SPEAKER_06 37:07

And listen, and the phone would have been um hung up.

SPEAKER_03 37:10

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 37:11

Oh, and then when she got out of the hospital, myself off this phone.

SPEAKER_03 37:13

Yeah, I've been moved, I am in utter disbelief.

SPEAKER_09 37:20

Utter.

SPEAKER_03 37:21

Utter disbelief. Come on now. Yeah. And I would have I would have told her, I got beef with you now.

SPEAKER_06 37:31

And our and our sisterhood is at stake.

SPEAKER_03 37:34

That's right. So no more of this because you've been milking me for too long. That's right. So I'm moving on. Moving on, huh? All right, then.

SPEAKER_06 37:47

All right.

SPEAKER_03 37:47

Let's go. All right. So what's next?

SPEAKER_06 37:50

I think you had some issues.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

Oh, so since it is the holiday.

SPEAKER_06 37:55

Holiday! Holiday!

SPEAKER_01 37:58

Mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_06 38:01

Celebrate!

SPEAKER_01 38:02

Mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm mm.

SPEAKER_06 38:05

Have y'all seen Madonna? She's gotten such great work done on her face.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

You tell somebody else that lie. You can tell somebody else that lie. Alright, so here we go, Kree. We got some.

SPEAKER_06 38:15

Would you rather holiday edition? Okay.

SPEAKER_03 38:19

We should have a bell so we can jingle a bell. Okay. Would you jingle? All right.

SPEAKER_06 38:23

Oh, for the holiday.

SPEAKER_03 38:24

Yeah, for the holidays. Jingle ling a ling-ling a linga ling. I love me some holiday, some um, some holiday time.

SPEAKER_09 38:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:31

All right, here we go. Ba ba ba ba ba ba.

unknown 38:33

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

Okay, would you rather cook the entire holiday meal solo or clean up every dish afterward with no help?

SPEAKER_06 38:42

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

I'm cooking solo. Me too.

SPEAKER_06 38:46

I am cooking solo. I hate washing dishes. Yeah. So I'd rather just cook because you can turn on your music and get to mixing and tasting. And yeah, I'm cooking. I'm not doing the dishes. I would rather do that.

SPEAKER_03 39:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 39:01

I'd rather die than wash all them dishes. That made me think of um boomerang. Remember when she says, Jimmy, you want me to help you stay and help you do the dishes? He's like, No, go on. I got it. I got it. And then he was like, wait, hold on.

SPEAKER_09 39:17

It's a trough of chitlin juice.

Would You Rather: Holiday Edition

SPEAKER_03 39:22

All right. Would you rather have an in-law who always critiques your cooking or one who shows up empty-handed but takes leftovers?

SPEAKER_06 39:32

Well, granted some granna does critique our cooking. What you doing that for? What you doing that for? I think my like this.

SPEAKER_03 39:40

I think mine like this. Okay, so or any other ones, or shows up empty handed but takes leftovers. I'd rather that because we cook a lot of that anyway.

SPEAKER_06 39:47

I'm okay with that. I don't like the critiquing because that makes me feel like you don't appreciate the work I'm doing in the kitchen. So I'd rather you just come and take because that's not a big deal to me. But don't be in my kitchen critiquing what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 40:01

No, that hurts my feelings.

SPEAKER_03 40:03

Yep. All right. Would you rather only eat fruitcake for desserts? Or only eat dry baked chicken as the main dish?

SPEAKER_06 40:13

Ooh. Give me the dry baked chicken, because I done had plenty of that. If you ever buy a rotisserie chicken from a lot of places. Because it just sometimes you don't know what you're gonna get. Sometimes they're fine.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

The public said fallen out with their rotisserie chicken.

SPEAKER_06 40:27

Because at one point we said, ooh, that rotisserie chicken slamming.

SPEAKER_03 40:30

No.

SPEAKER_06 40:30

So I do the rotisserie chicken because fruitcake, no, thank you. Dessert is important to me.

SPEAKER_03 40:35

I've only tasted a fruitcake once.

SPEAKER_06 40:37

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 40:38

That was it.

SPEAKER_06 40:39

Yeah, I tasted it once. I mean, it's just like a little spice bread, but but dessert is important.

SPEAKER_03 40:47

Like a fruitcake is like digging in the bottom of your child's toy box and you just say, mm-hmm. The dirt and sticky stuff. That's what it is.

SPEAKER_06 40:59

Yeah, I think dessert's important. Dr. You put some barbecue sauce on it, you might be all right.

SPEAKER_03 41:05

Mm-mm. Ooh, oh, this is easy.

SPEAKER_06 41:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 41:08

Would you rather drink eggnog for every meal on Christmas Day or never drink anything but warm apple cider for a week?

SPEAKER_06 41:16

Warm apple cider. My stomach is going to be a mess.

SPEAKER_03 41:22

It is a wrap.

SPEAKER_06 41:23

Yeah, and I like eggnog, but I maybe one, maybe two cups of it for the whole holiday season. That's all I that's a good that's good enough.

SPEAKER_03 41:33

All right, here we go. Would you rather have unlimited mac and cheese, but no seasoning allowed? That means going to somebody. Oh go or perfectly seasoned everything else, but no mac and cheese.

SPEAKER_06 41:50

Oh, perfectly seasoned everything else.

SPEAKER_03 41:53

Yeah, because I could do without mac and cheese. Yeah, I can do it.

SPEAKER_06 41:57

I'm not like have to have mac and cheese. Because we're not even gonna have mac and cheese for our Christmas. We've already planned mac and cheese is not a good one.

SPEAKER_03 42:04

What's on the menu? Tell them what's on the menu.

SPEAKER_06 42:06

All right, on the menu, we're doing a Cajun Christmas. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 42:10

So we're doing that Caden Cripma.

SPEAKER_06 42:13

We're doing seafood gumbo with white rice.

SPEAKER_03 42:16

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_06 42:16

We are doing a Cajun pasta.

SPEAKER_09 42:19

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_06 42:20

And we're doing fried fish. And we're doing a green salad and rolls.

SPEAKER_03 42:31

Kimani's making a homemade yeast roll.

SPEAKER_06 42:34

Yeah, Kimani's making homemade yeast rolls. Oh my God. They are to die for. Oh my god. Then I think that's it. Did we have any other vegetables? I think that's all.

SPEAKER_03 42:42

Yeah, that was it.

SPEAKER_06 42:43

We just um you know what might be good? Some like saute spinach.

SPEAKER_03 42:47

Yeah, or the saute greens. Either of those.

SPEAKER_06 42:52

Okay. And then our desserts, bread pudding. Yes. With some kind of bourbon sauce.

SPEAKER_03 42:59

And either Sir we'll do Sir Davis since uh her mom's Louisiana.

SPEAKER_06 43:06

Her daddy Alabama. You mixed that Negro with that creole. Make a Texas Bama. I like my thing. And the other dessert is Praline Pecan cheesecake.

SPEAKER_03 43:24

My favorite. Praline ice cream. And you're my friend forever. The praline pecan cheesecake. Oh. Yes.

SPEAKER_06 43:30

So we're doing, yeah, we're doing we're doing a um yeah, a Cajun Christmas. So it's gonna be a little bit different. So we're excited about it.

SPEAKER_03 43:40

Yeah. So we got the dress cajun here. What does that look like? I don't know. We gotta watch alligator or the crocodile hunter, whatever that is. With some flannel, some jeans and flames. Nobody's doing that. Yep, we could do that. It'll be hot. Alright. Let's see what's next. Would you rather okay? Let's see this. Let me do this one.

SPEAKER_00 44:03

Would you rather uh your Christmas dinner be catered by Chick-fil-A or by Waffle House?

SPEAKER_07 44:14

Christmas dinner.

SPEAKER_03 44:17

Now, if they're talking about the Chick-fil-A, that's the dwarf house, where they actually have real soul food, that's different.

SPEAKER_06 44:23

Yeah, that's different.

SPEAKER_03 44:24

But the Chick-fil-A that's right up the street right there, and just the I mean there's nothing else.

SPEAKER_06 44:28

There's nothing but chicken and fries.

SPEAKER_03 44:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 44:30

Yeah, I'm gonna go with Waffle House.

SPEAKER_03 44:32

Yeah, go with Waffle House.

SPEAKER_06 44:33

I have, yeah, because we've I've had Waffle House at one of my schools. I can't remember, maybe it was in Clayton County or somewhere where they came and they they catered and they cook the waffles or somebody from there. They cook the waffles and they do that at our school.

SPEAKER_03 44:46

Uh-huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 44:48

So if I have a Waffle House person come and cook them waffles on the spot.

SPEAKER_03 44:53

That'd be nice. Chicken and Waffles.

SPEAKER_06 44:55

Oh man, that might be a good idea.

SPEAKER_03 44:57

One day we need to do that one day. Yeah. Come come on.

SPEAKER_06 45:00

I love that idea.

SPEAKER_03 45:01

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 45:02

Hire us a Waffle House person.

SPEAKER_03 45:04

All right, here we go. Family member holiday X, would you rather? Ooh. Okay. Would you rather deal with the relative who shows up three hours late or the relative who shows up three hours early? And we have both of those in our family.

SPEAKER_06 45:20

We don't have three hours early.

SPEAKER_03 45:22

But Fuga would show up anytime we ask her and help us out. She's on time. Or she would be there to hang out. Fuga would not mind.

SPEAKER_06 45:28

Fuga's on time.

SPEAKER_03 45:29

Yep. Most of the time. She would not mind. Because Kale's like sitting there being nosy.

SPEAKER_06 45:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:34

Like he money.

SPEAKER_06 45:36

I don't like the late because I mean, well, let me say, it don't matter what time you come because we do what we're going to do. That's right. So we are that house. We're not waiting for you. We said the time we will give a bit of a grace period that may be 15 to 30 minutes. But at the 30 minutes, the party is moving on without you.

SPEAKER_03 46:01

If we're early, we're not going to start if we said, you know, like that. We're going to respect that.

SPEAKER_06 46:05

No, no, no. So we said six. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:08

We're not going to start at 5 30. If all the food's ready. No.

SPEAKER_06 46:11

If we said six, we're going to wait till we'll say six latest, six thirty. After six thirty, we're starting.

SPEAKER_09 46:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 46:19

So we'll just see your little raggedy self two and a half hours after that. So yeah, we don't we don't sit up and wait for people. We we've learned our lesson on that. So uh uh.

SPEAKER_01 46:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 46:30

Y'all probably say, dang, they tough. Listen. Boundaries.

SPEAKER_03 46:35

Would you rather sit next to the relative who wants to debate politics or the one who keeps asking? So when y'all having another kid?

SPEAKER_06 46:46

No, we don't.

SPEAKER_03 46:48

We shut both of them down.

SPEAKER_06 46:50

Yeah. I don't have any um politics. I don't have anybody where we're where we're debating policy. Debating political politics. Not debate, but they would talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 46:57

Oh my Jesus.

SPEAKER_06 46:58

Yes, yes. One of my uncles, all he do all day is watch CNN. You go to his house. It's either CNN or track.

SPEAKER_02 47:06

Y'all see that? Y'all look at them. They're gonna mess the country up. You see that right there? Oh my Lord.

SPEAKER_03 47:15

And if y'all listen, that's related to Cree, y'all know what uncle that is.

SPEAKER_06 47:19

You see that right there? CNN all day long. CNN all day long. And what was the other?

SPEAKER_03 47:25

The other uh keep asking him, so when y'all having another kid?

SPEAKER_06 47:28

Oh no. We used to have that after the boys. They would ask us all the time. Listen, you can't pressure me into nothing. Because not near one of y'all are gonna come and help us do all the work for other children.

SPEAKER_03 47:43

Right. Pressure bust pipes, not vasectomies.

SPEAKER_06 47:46

Heller. That's right. So I know that don't that doesn't bother me at all. You can ask all day, but I know when it comes to having more, it's on us. So that didn't that didn't bother me at all. I didn't pressure it at all.

SPEAKER_03 47:57

Would you, would you, uh, nothing specialist. Okay. All right. Would you rather receive a thoughtful but cheap gift or an expensive gift that shows they didn't listen to anything you hinted at?

SPEAKER_06 48:14

Cheap, thoughtful. Because what I'm gonna do with an expensive gift that I don't even want return it, and if I can get exchange it.

SPEAKER_03 48:22

For the money.

SPEAKER_06 48:23

Now listen, I will return and exchange.

SPEAKER_03 48:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 48:27

I mean, especially when it's like not what I want. My mama always said, please don't keep a gift if you really don't like it. If y'all you want something else, exchange, I don't want to waste my money. So um, a thoughtful gift I would appreciate more. That's just more um, I feel like you get me, you were listening, you know me. That feels um better than just getting some expensive gift that means that I don't even like. Yeah. But some people do care about it, that it's expensive. I don't care about it.

SPEAKER_03 49:00

They do, yeah. They care about expensive. I don't care about expensive. I just it's either what I want it or just thoughtful. Something that's be like, oh my God, I didn't know I needed this. This is amazing.

SPEAKER_09 49:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:10

You know, or something I want. And then most times stuff that I want. Every now and then I have a wish list. You know, that's like that one thing if if, you know, the numbers hit us. You know, just even not even the numbers, just something. Numbers. You know, but nah.

SPEAKER_06 49:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:25

All right. Would you rather match pajamas with your partner's whole family? So my whole side of the family.

SPEAKER_06 49:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 49:32

Or just match pajamas with our family, but the patterns are hideous. Like the color scheme don't go to you like, what in the what is like it's paisley or something like that pajamas.

SPEAKER_06 49:46

I like paisley. Um, I don't know. Because I think it'd be neat, because like for your side of the family, it's so big. So like you that would be insane if everybody I would love that, and it'd be a great picture for everybody to have. So I think I'd go with your next year. Your side of the family, everybody has the same pajamas because there's so many people. Um, like for my side, I mean, I only have one niece. Yeah, yeah. There's so many. Like, if we just did, you know, you grand and papa and the the sons and daughter-in-laws and grands and great-grands. That's a lot of people and all the same. My family, we don't my I only have one niece on my side. So it's yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:38

So when we hit the numbers, we're gonna have a gathering, but we're gonna buy the pajamas and not tell anybody. So when they come, they gotta switch into the pajamas.

SPEAKER_06 50:46

Oh, that'd be really good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:48

That'd be different.

SPEAKER_06 50:48

I think that'd be really nice. I think uh grandpapa would love that page. Oh, you know they would.

SPEAKER_03 50:54

Yeah, you know they would. Yeah. All right, let's see here. Would you rather forget one gift for your partner or forget all the stocking stuffers for the kids?

SPEAKER_06 51:09

No. The stocking stuffers, because my stock and stuffers, I try to do good. But what would be I try to do well with the stock and stuffers, but I I I do my best.

SPEAKER_03 51:25

Um sometimes I be looking like, yeah, get that's okay.

SPEAKER_06 51:31

I do my best with the stock and stuffers. I'm not good with the stock and stuffers. I think it has something to do with, I don't think my mom and them ever filled our stock.

SPEAKER_03 51:41

It don't matter. It don't matter.

SPEAKER_06 51:43

And I'm always doing a last meeting.

SPEAKER_03 51:45

Stock and stuffers are just small gifts. And that's what I be saying in my head.

SPEAKER_06 51:50

It's tough.

SPEAKER_03 51:51

There's just small gifts, Kree. And then them gifts.

SPEAKER_06 51:54

I be doing too much.

SPEAKER_03 51:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 51:56

I do too much.

SPEAKER_03 51:57

And some of them can't even hang them up. So I'll be looking like Easter baskets and Christmas.

SPEAKER_06 52:02

I just do, I just do too much. So um, I don't want to miss your gift.

SPEAKER_03 52:08

So But who's easier?

SPEAKER_06 52:10

Who's easier?

SPEAKER_03 52:10

What's more understanding?

SPEAKER_06 52:12

Oh gosh. I mean, you're more understanding, but you're not easy.

SPEAKER_03 52:15

I am easy. I am very easy. You know it's tech, shoes, and sweatpants. Is that not right? I mean But you know, what it is, is you get tired of seeing me.

SPEAKER_06 52:28

You get the same thing all the time.

SPEAKER_03 52:31

That's what it is. But I'm good with it. Uh-uh. And you know that. You know that. Anyway. Like remember when your mom stopped giving me money for Christmas? Yeah. Why does she stop giving me money?

SPEAKER_06 52:43

Because you spend it on other people.

SPEAKER_03 52:45

I would always spend it on everybody else. And she would say, Look, uh-uh.

Eliminate One: Food, Guests, Traditions

SPEAKER_06 52:49

Now let me tell you, I said about my mama. I try to tell them, I said, Grandma wants to know what y'all want. They're like, Oh, just tell her get anything. I was like, Do you want all your gifts to be from Ace hardware? Because that's where they're gonna be from. You need to. I said, Y'all do? Okay, don't tell her. I'm giving a specific list so I can get what I want. Because if not, she's just gonna try to do her best.

SPEAKER_03 53:16

And oftentimes, I like the stuff from Ace, though.

SPEAKER_06 53:19

He don't like all the stuff. One Christmas we got. One Christmas we got. Not to say.

SPEAKER_01 53:27

What we got?

SPEAKER_06 53:28

I'm trying, I'm gonna act unappreciative. Remember the one we got the um the kits for your trunk?

SPEAKER_03 53:36

It was like a it was Oh, the the uh hazard roadside kit.

SPEAKER_06 53:40

I don't want that for a gift. Like that should be.

SPEAKER_03 53:43

I thought that was for the boys.

SPEAKER_06 53:45

No, we all got one. Oh, we did? Yeah. Where am I there? It's probably in the garage somewhere seen. No, I'm sure we didn't. I don't, I know that that is a that is something that you need. That's right. My mama believes in things getting you things that you need as well.

SPEAKER_02 53:59

That's right.

SPEAKER_06 54:00

But I think I don't want that for a gift. Just give me that throughout the year sometime.

SPEAKER_03 54:05

All my uh aprons I got.

SPEAKER_06 54:07

I feel like the gifts, like for Christmas, it should be things that you maybe wouldn't buy yourself.

unknown 54:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 54:13

You know what I mean? Like things you wouldn't necessarily get yourself.

SPEAKER_03 54:16

And see, that's why it's easy a lot of times for me because a lot of stuff I'm always talking about, I need to get this. And I said, I ain't gonna get it.

SPEAKER_06 54:22

No, it ain't easy. Because I don't remember it either.

SPEAKER_03 54:25

Oh, that's what makes. Okay, now that makes sense. Because you don't remember. Yeah, I don't remember all things. That's fine.

SPEAKER_06 54:30

So I'll be thinking, what did he say that?

SPEAKER_03 54:32

Yeah, okay, now because I'm like, yeah, I don't re I don't remember.

SPEAKER_06 54:37

So maybe I should start putting it in my notes.

SPEAKER_03 54:39

Because even we, you know, I mentioned that you said I just need to get stuff because a lot of times we'll go somewhere shopping and be like, oh, I like it. He'll be like, get it. I was like, nah, I'm good. But then I just need to go behind you and buy it.

SPEAKER_04 54:50

But then by the time Christmas comes, it's too late.

SPEAKER_03 54:52

No, but we said it anyway, we said it in general. Oh, yes, I do. Because that's what I do all year long. Even during Christmas, like it's like, you know, and sometimes I will buy the stuff that I well, I'll buy the stuff that I know she thinks it doesn't make sense. You know what I mean? Like I'll buy my tech sometimes. And you'd be like, what do you need tech for? You don't need no tech. And I know it's technology. Oh. And I know that if if you have that thought in your head, you're not gonna get it. Not for the fact that I want it, but for the fact that you don't think I need it. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_06 55:21

Well, this this is how I evaluate. Oh my God. I think about the item that you said, and I think about how often is he really gonna use that? Specifically, let me give an example.

SPEAKER_03 55:35

It ain't about that.

SPEAKER_06 55:39

Last year for Christmas, I got him the DJ equipment. So you wanted to talk about me and what's the purse you got me?

SPEAKER_00 55:52

Telfar.

SPEAKER_06 55:53

He got me a Telfar purse last Christmas. I the first time that I have actually carried it was the other day.

SPEAKER_03 56:03

Yesterday.

SPEAKER_06 56:03

Now, let me just say this. He has bought me, I have the green, the tan, the bag, the black. Three bags. Plus, I bought my own purse that I wanted to. So it's not like I didn't I have a lot of purses to go in between because he, for a while, every time I opened up a gift, it was a new tail fart.

SPEAKER_03 56:33

Because there's so many styles.

SPEAKER_06 56:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 56:35

And I love to see her with her bags.

SPEAKER_06 56:37

So the thing about then when he bought me the black one, which was everything.

SPEAKER_03 56:43

The circle bag, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 56:44

The circle bag was just everything. That yeah, that the other one got pushed because the black one was like so different from the other totes. Understood. Now the DJing equipment. I ain't heard of lick a DJing.

SPEAKER_03 57:05

I I've I used it like the first.

SPEAKER_06 57:08

When he has his tech things, I jammed a little bit. When he has his tech things, I think about how often is he really going to do this? Is it something that's going to be used one time and put up? Because there are lots of tech things that that happens with. And so I'm thinking financially, money-wise, what makes the best sense? Um, because this person will buy things and maybe may I approach the bench, Your Honor? Hold on. This person will buy things, and it's like the thing that he says he really, really wants, and he's gonna do this and that and that and this with it. Um, and then a year goes by, and guess what? This and that and that and this, nothing's been done.

SPEAKER_03 57:59

Your Honor, may I please approach the bench?

SPEAKER_06 58:01

You may approach the bench.

SPEAKER_03 58:02

Okay. So when I got the DJ equipment, I was that was my first semester of classes. Then as classes got, my weekends went back to null. So that's when I was going to practice because I can't practice during the week because I'm you know, by the time we finished working out and stuff, we're tired. Okay, be facetious. And so there was also some other stuff somebody told me that I bought probably was a waste. But over the time, look at the amount of use that we're getting out of it.

SPEAKER_04 58:35

Out of what?

SPEAKER_03 58:36

What you're talking on right now. All this technology equipment and stuff like that. Listen.

SPEAKER_06 58:41

Hold on, hold on, hold on, not even get me started about this.

SPEAKER_03 58:46

Okay, so but we have it. We're using it. We didn't use it right off. We did not use it right off. I'm and I'm I'm not even trying to be right. I'm just showing you that there is a delayed time for him to use. But I will use my stuff. That's one thing for sure. I will use my stuff, and I do take care of my stuff.

SPEAKER_06 59:12

But what I'm saying is let's just it is very contradictory because if I don't carry the purse and if I do not try on the outfit or do the thing within a few days, then I'm not appreciative.

SPEAKER_00 59:33

No, because I didn't think you were being me.

SPEAKER_03 59:38

I understand me not getting stuff, and then when you you know, you validate your argument. Okay, so that means you don't do what I do. But when you do what I do, it invalidates everything you say about me.

SPEAKER_06 59:54

Last thing I like to say about this.

SPEAKER_03 59:56

My last I rest my case, my last note.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:00

Is. He says, I have my classes. I have the da da da. That's why I haven't been a DJ. Um, we are educators and we have the entire summer off. He had a whole summer to DJ.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:16

Oh, this summer was busy. But I didn't Did I not have classes this summer too?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:24

You don't not have some classwit that you're doing every day.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:28

We got up, went to the gym, had got work to do. No. And then But hey, my classes are lightning up.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:39

Yeah, okay. It's it's yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:42

All right, so when I start DJing, No, I I want you to DJ. Oh, don't even dance. Even when the moot music moves you.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:50

I want you to DJ. I'm just trying to give when you this is just me talking because you said I sometimes don't buy you certain things for whatever reason. So what I'm saying is this is my evaluation because this is what I've seen.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:09

So now we gotta evaluate what a person says they want based off of what we feel and see. Gotcha. Gotcha, guys. Y'all got that? Everybody got that.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:19

Clock is Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:21

Oh, you know it's clocked for me. It is clocked. So is it this one?

SPEAKER_06 1:01:26

Which one is it?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:32

All right. So I'm so ready. I can't wait to buy something. Or at be at or say, hey, I would like to have. Alright, so we're gonna move right along to eliminate one. Okay. Eliminate one. This ignites debate as we already had one. Alright. So eliminate one forever. Sweet potato pie, mac and cheese, dressing, or collard greens? Sweet potato pie. Yeah, sweet potato pie green. Alright, uh let's see. Holiday appetizer. Devil the eggs, uh, charcuterie board, meatballs, or spinach dip. Oh. Take away the meatballs. Yeah, meatballs for me. Alright. Family tradition. Eliminate one? Matching PJs, gift exchanges, Christmas photos, or ugly sweater parties.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:25

Ugly sweater. Yeah. Never really like that.

Side Eye Of The Week: Meetings & The Tree

SPEAKER_03 1:02:28

Me neither. Um eliminate one type of family guest. The person who don't speak to anyone, the overshare, the gift bragger, or the kitchen micromanager.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:43

Read up again.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:44

The person who doesn't speak to anyone, the overshare, the gift bragger, or the kitchen micromanager. Um, don't micromanage me anymore.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:04

Because everybody, like your introverts are your people that don't talk much. I think of Kelsey because she sits back, but she doesn't say much, but her presence is needed. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:16

Alright.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:18

Um eliminate one hosting responsibility. Cooking, decorating, cleaning, or hosting games.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:29

Y'all don't mind cleaning. I love somebody else to clean it up for me. I'm gonna do it because I just like my house to be in order, so my house is gonna be clean.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:38

Yeah, get rid of cleaning.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:39

But if somebody else can do it, come on and do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:42

All right, eliminate one holiday stressor. Buying gifts, wrapping gifts, traveling, or budgeting.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:48

Budgeting.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:49

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:52

Oh, it's a naked man going on around there.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:54

All right. Relationship, eliminate one from your partner. Forgetting gift receipts, hiding gifts too well and losing them, overbuying or being last minute.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:06

Last minute. Um last minute, you don't do a good job.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:13

Yeah. Alright. Uh, let's see here. That's it.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:19

Love that. That was good.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:20

That was good. That was very good. All right, so let's go ahead and uh what you have a side out of the week?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:29

I don't think I have a side eye of the week.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:35

My side out of the week was we had this meeting on the uh Digital Learning Day.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:44

And we met the whole time. All the teachers were like, yo, we got stuff to do. You know, we're trying to prepare for ELC, trying to prepare for finals. We're meeting. It's different if it was district mandated, but not all high schools, not all schools were meeting the entire day. We met the entire day plus a couple minutes after the work.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:03

Oh, yeah, you guys did have a floor.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:04

So that was a that was a side eye. Like, it's too many day and meetings. Then you wonder why, you know, we don't have time, why we gotta do our IEPs throughout the because And there were there were schools that leadership understood that.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:21

And so they had a quick meeting in the they had their meeting in the morning, and then the afternoon was for you to be able to get yourself together, get things ready and organized as you close out the semester. Some schools are able to do report cards and so yeah, that that's important. That helps with morale. You gotta think about your teachers.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:39

We wanted to do our IEPs on that day. We were like, if we meet in the front part, then parents close to the afternoon, we can get three IEPs done. Everybody could get three IEPs done. You know, because you have teachers that are available to sit in, gender teachers. You have, you know, uh special ed people that can, you know, serve on different um panels or committees. And so we was like, yo, this would be amazing. But when we saw that schedule, we was like, well, we gotta some people had to push their stuff back and cram up. So that was my side eye, man. Um that was that was kind of you know jacked up.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:15

Yeah. I guess if I had to pick a side eye, it'd be towards the person, the person. Yesterday, I told y'all we went to go get our tree. So when I got up this morning, the tree is big. It's not it, I had to put my seats down to get it in my car. Well, when I went to work today, the tree was still in my car. So I had to drive to work with this big old tree in my car. So that is my side eye of why is the tree still in my car. Right now, as I sit here and record with you, the tree is still in my car. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:49

And we got two grown men that she could say those extra oxygen molecules that she just spread on the microphone and ask her little grown men to get it out of the car for. And so could there and that tree didn't bother her in her travels at all to work.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:08

Kinda.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:08

Unless she drives looking back like that. And if so be it, stop being nosy. It ain't gonna do nothing. Just drive.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:15

Anywho. That's all I was saying. Y'all see what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:24

All right. So, um you I'm gonna give you a side, alright. Alright, so uh, what are you thankful for?

SPEAKER_06 1:07:35

I'm thankful for a son, maybe sons. I know I have one who is loves to cook, but I'm thankful for them and their culinary skills this week. The food was awesome. Like, I think they worked well yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:56

They did.

Gratitude, Plans, And Cajun Christmas Menu

SPEAKER_06 1:07:56

They worked, they did teamwork and they got that meal done. But not only was it done, it was delicious. So um I'm thankful for that that they were willing to do that and go. Not only that, they went to the grocery store, got what they needed for the meal. Um, so yeah, that was really good. I felt like all week, felt like um it was better than eating out. All the food this week was really good. So um, yeah, um, I'm thankful for that. Thankful for a family that we all are willing to do our part. So, yeah. I'm thankful for that.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:40

Good job.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:41

What are you thankful for?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:43

Um, thankful for the like I said, I love the fact that I am alive, but I'm thankful for the fact that we're getting closer to the end of the semester.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:53

You know, um, I need a I need a uh mental break. Like, so when I finish these papers, like I gotta do something. You know, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Um, but I need a I need to just uh you know get away kind of thing. I don't know. Maybe uh maybe I do uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:13

Maybe I do a for our Christmas gift just do a spa day at Chateau Elon.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:19

Yeah, we could definitely do that.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:20

Because I can't do the uh Korean spa. What's it called?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:23

I want to do that.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:24

I can't do it. I don't want to be naked in front of people.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:27

I want to get scrubbed. I don't want to. I'm gonna get my body scrubbed.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:31

I did want to, y'all, but now I just don't want to be naked in front of people. I'm just not prepared or comfortable.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:40

You be all right.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:41

So, Chateau Elon, yeah, sign me up.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:46

Your son did it, he got scrubbed by them for me.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:49

He did, and he was walking around with his little pickle and uh pickle and bears out.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:58

Um, all right. What uh uh what are you looking forward to?

SPEAKER_06 1:10:01

Um, let's see. Well, there are lots of things as we close out the year that are coming up. So for my team, we're doing white elephant, but we have a different way that we're gonna do it. And then there are no bad gifts, all the gifts are with everybody in mind. So, but we're doing a um charcuterie party. So excited for the charcuterie party. I am really excited about our Cajun Christmas. That's gonna be really different. So I am actually excited about that, and I'm actually excited that we get to be here, and it's just an intimate Christmas. Like, we don't have to go anywhere, we're gonna be here.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:45

Yeah, but you know, I'm still supposed to be going um so we'll I'll know for sure, you know, closer to that time. Okay. Yeah, so you know, because normally we would have a big gathering. We would have a big gathering. Okay. We would have a big gathering, but um, you know, I'm supposed to be going doing this thing for um for uh C to the B production hip hop Harry and um Snoop Dogg for the Arizona Bowl. So we'll see. If it if it doesn't go through, then um hey.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:20

Well, I mean, my in-laws are still coming.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:22

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:23

Um as of right now, I mean, I don't it's no big extravaganza.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:30

Yeah, yeah. We that's that's and that's cool. We didn't nothing's big as planned. Everybody's just chilling right now.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:34

There, yeah. Everybody's, you know, not quite sure what everyone is doing. I don't know. So, anyways, um, I don't know what it's gonna be, but um, yeah, I'm just to be home for Christmas.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:47

Looking forward to uh um I can go back to the gym now. So next week I go back to the gym. And I'm trying to figure out what's I think my my um, and then you know I'm gonna back in my goal, my Peloton and stuff like that goal. But I think my goal now is to do a yoga session every day. A yoga session every day so I can finish this two hour, two, two hundred hour yoga training to become awesome. Yoga master kefala. All right.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:20

Well, other than that, that's it.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:22

That's it.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:23

It's pizza time.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:28

So we're getting ready to close out. It's time for us to order some pizza.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:33

Yeah, it's Friday.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:34

It's Friday. Normally it's either pizza or go to the little Mexican spot up there. Um my student's mom works at another Mexican restaurant. We need to go see her uh one day.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:44

Which one does she work at?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:45

Los Los Meg Los Magueji's or something like that.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:49

Magueji's?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:50

Right up there by um by the Kroger. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. She's a bartender.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:56

Oh, yeah, we're supposed to go there, I forgot.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:58

They said her drinks are nice. Nice. Yeah, so that's what we need. Nice drinks. So, uh you got your ideas for your nails? I mean, yeah, that's true. So where are we going?

SPEAKER_04 1:13:11

For me to drink and then him to take advantage. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:17

Can't take advantage of the wanting.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:19

Woo!

SPEAKER_03 1:13:22

But uh uh, you gonna you thought about your nails for Christmas?

SPEAKER_06 1:13:26

Uh-huh. I do, I already know what I'm thinking.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:28

All right. Well, that's it. So, ladies and gentlemen, this has been the Refreshingly Normal podcast. I have been your amazing male host.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:38

And I have been your fantabulous female host, Lucretia.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:47

And as we all, well, as I always say, I don't even know what she's gonna say.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:51

Oh my god. I always say, See ya when I see you.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:57

Peace.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:59

Bye. I do y'all. All right. Guys, what kind of pizza you want? Y'all want the same cheese stuff crumbs?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:22

The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.