From Snow Flurries To Red Flags, We Weigh What Matters In Romance And Routine

Ever been told to “I'm just gonna chill” on Valentine’s… then see your person dressed to the nines at a five-star spot? We go there. From flurries and fatigue to pricey roses and no-reservations panic, we unpack the messy middle where love, logistics, and common sense actually live. We start with real wins—scoring free emotion-regulation tools for educators—and then ask harder questions about how we teach rejection, whether team-picking builds grit or just bruises, and why adults should design kinder systems in schools and in relationships.

As February ramps up, we compare notes on planning a meaningful Valentine’s without getting trapped by the holiday machine. Overpriced prefix menus? Maybe skip them. A well-made home dinner, a moved date, or a standing ritual can feel richer than a rushed night out. Our this-or-that game gets honest about what we prefer—roses or sunflowers, brunch or dinner, rom-coms or horror—and why clarity beats guessing when you’re gifting under pressure.

Then it’s story time with Believe It, Sister: the receipt that confesses a pre-Valentine dinner, the “I fell asleep” text sent from a candlelit table, the split teddy-bear set caught by the kids, and the blind date who brings his ex along for “comfort.” We laugh, side-eye, and extract the lesson—consistency is the love language, and disappearing acts are answers. We close with gratitude for heavy but meaningful work, talk about releasing what we carry, and tease a soundtrack for your Valentine’s week, from Jill Scott to Ari Lennox.

If you’re ready for clear-eyed romance, smarter plans, and a little humor to soften the truth, you’re in the right place. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us your wildest Valentine’s win or fail—what’s your rule for keeping the 14th honest?

Don't forget to Like, Comment, Share, and Subscribe.

Thank you for listening!

Transcript

Cold Weather, Warm Banter

SPEAKER_00 0:03

The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 0:14

Alright, here we go. In three, two, and one. Gotta get the juice right. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in to the Refreshingly Normal podcast. I am Kifla.

SPEAKER_04 0:31

I am uh Kree.

SPEAKER_03 0:33

Oh, she forgot her name.

SPEAKER_04 0:34

No, I was gonna decide if I was gonna be Lucretia, Lucrezia, or Kree.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

And today I am Kree. All right then, Cree. Today. Anyways. Yeah. Alright. I think this thing is right. So let's get in it. It was cold today, huh? Woo. Yeah, you can hear the wind.

SPEAKER_04 0:59

We had flurries. Well, yeah, we have flurries and winds and colds.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

And flurries.

SPEAKER_04 1:08

And if you drove, did you get to oh you drove in? And um it was just beautiful driving in the elements.

SPEAKER_03 1:16

It was a very, very beautiful drive.

SPEAKER_04 1:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

If you know how to drive in the elements, I can drive in all of the things.

SPEAKER_04 1:23

I can too because I'm from Kansas.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

And I'm from the male. The male population.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

I seen lots of males on the side of the road during Snow Mageddon. Well, I was trucking along and my little Kia Optima, getting it. And they was sliding down.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

It was nothing but God, because we we was in need for some new tires for that car, too. Was that the Kia or not the line? No, it was the Optima. Yeah, we needed some new tires. Because I remember that. I was like, God got her home, boy.

SPEAKER_04 1:53

God and my trained snow driving. We worked together as a team.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

All right then.

SPEAKER_04 2:03

Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 2:04

Yeah, anyway. So how was your week?

Work Updates And Free Emotion Tools

SPEAKER_04 2:06

Oh, my week was um good. Um, I was trying to think that I already say this last time. But anywho, I mean, it's the same for my work, my second work, saw clients. Um at work, oh, at work, I'm really just kind of prepping for February. February is going to be very busy. And March is gonna be very busy. So just getting presentations ready, approved. I got some um freebies because once I went to this conference and Choa, um, they were giving away free um name the emotion, regulation, things like it was a magnet where it had like faces with all the emotions, and then you you then there was like a little circle, and the kids could put the circle with what they were feeling. It was a stack of cards to have you like talking about, like a game of talking about your feelings and some other things. And so they were giving it away at this conference, and so I was like, I wonder if I contact them, would they give me some for free?

SPEAKER_03 3:25

Close mouth don't get fed. Right.

SPEAKER_04 3:27

And because I have a training coming up that's about emotion regulation, and so sure enough, I emailed them and she gave me plenty. And you gotta tag them if you all free. Um, yeah, so I was really excited about that.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

What is the company's name?

SPEAKER_04 3:45

Um, it's Choa, Children's Hospital of Atlanta.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

Yeah, but I mean, is it oh I thought like the the stuff came from someone you met there.

SPEAKER_04 3:54

It was from them because they're there is a part of that part of them that does um educational work. They can go in and speak in schools with students. They just so shout out to Choa for uh Yeah, I wish I could remember the lady's name and specifically her department that was able to. So I'm excited to give some more resources to um educators who attend my training. So um, yeah, I was so excited about that that she um donated those, and the boxes are on the way. She sent me an email Friday, said she got them all boxed up. I'll be getting two boxes. She said, one and one box.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

Well, there'd be them little Timu boxes. You know how they people say, I ordered this whole big couch on T Mu. Look at it. Yeah, so small.

SPEAKER_04 4:39

So, yep, I was excited about that. And um, yeah, so that was a part of my week, and pretty much that's it. I've just been a worker bee. So um, yep, that's about it for me. What about you? How was your week? I was oh, I was I'm sorry. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 5:02

I was about to say that too.

SPEAKER_04 5:03

So tired today, like really tired. I still exercised the days that I had to see clients in the evening. I got up before work to exercise. Oh, I got my hair done. I forgot to say that.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

You got a new little color.

SPEAKER_04 5:21

Um little color. I curled it a little bit so y'all could see it today. Um, so uh sweets. You know what I thought about the lady that I go to now and do my hair? I don't know her name.

SPEAKER_03 5:37

So what do you say when you request something? Hey, how are you?

SPEAKER_04 5:40

I don't request. I just you go on my how to schedule it.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

You ain't never looked at to see what's going on.

SPEAKER_04 5:45

I'm gonna have to double check and look, because it just says Halo Sweets. And I haven't seen the name. That's sad, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 5:52

It is.

SPEAKER_04 5:53

Anyways, so shout out to Halo Suites.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

Well, by the time she hears, you already know her name.

SPEAKER_04 6:00

I'm gonna, yes.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

Yes. If you know what I mean. If you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_04 6:05

Anyways, so there we go. How about your week?

SPEAKER_03 6:08

Um, my week was good. You know, of course, we had that Monday off. Oh, yeah. Um, that Monday, that's when I tried to rebirth my plants and they're dying.

SPEAKER_04 6:17

Well, y'all can see they're dying at sales.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

They started off good, but I I overwatered them.

SPEAKER_04 6:23

He loved on them too much.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Yeah. It's not like uh outdoor, you know, when you're gardening and stuff like that. You gotta really put a lot of water in. And I didn't check my plants. I that's the problem. I didn't check the plants, I mean the pots to um make sure there was proper drainage, and so some of them got root rot. And uh I got some great deals on those plants, and they was sprouting up like crazy when I got them from Costco. And they lasted almost a year.

SPEAKER_04 6:49

Well, this one, she's doing good.

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Yeah, she's doing good. She's part of the snake plant.

SPEAKER_04 6:53

That one looks like she might come back.

SPEAKER_03 6:54

She might. She's part of the snake plant family, and they it's hard to kill them. So, and her her roots would look the best.

SPEAKER_04 7:01

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

You know, when I um repotted them.

SPEAKER_04 7:04

She needs to talk to her friends.

SPEAKER_03 7:05

We'll figure it out. Also, I wish I had just a little more light, you know. But anyway, uh that was Monday, and then, you know, a little tired this week, but um, I was I think this was the first time. Is this the first time I went and started going to the gym? No, I went last week. This is my first well, no, I didn't go last week. But I put put off the gym because I was like, people, you know, everybody was sick and stuff, and I was like, let me go. And so started going. Now I don't have the cooties, because the cooties, I don't, I don't feel bad. I feel tired, but I don't feel bad. Like, um, it's just a lot of um sinus drain. Um, thank God it's nothing major. You know, it ain't like when my wife gets sick. When she gets sick, it's like she about to die. She caught that disease. Um, but for me myself, you know, I'm I'm all right. You know, they say one of the biggest um symptoms of a disease is when they mouth stuff next to other people. And the conversation ain't even about them, but they gotta mouth it. It's kind of like uh the nerves and the mouth and the brain that the woman has connect together and they just, you know, it's it's a it's the disease they have. But other than that, man, my week was great.

SPEAKER_04 8:20

Oh, that's all you got to share? You don't have anything to say about IEPs?

Plants, Gyms, And Winter Blues

SPEAKER_03 8:24

No, uh waiting on a mom to contact me back, but I already made um two methods of of points of contact. Now I make one more to send a letter home.

SPEAKER_04 8:33

And that's it.

SPEAKER_03 8:34

And if she don't send it, then I conduct it myself.

SPEAKER_04 8:36

Okie dokie already chokey.

SPEAKER_03 8:38

So um other than that.

SPEAKER_04 8:42

Two weeks till winter break.

SPEAKER_03 8:45

Winter break, yes.

SPEAKER_04 8:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

Yes. So before we do that, we don't want to be like the department stores and jump, you know, over and skip stuff. You know, like when Labor Day starts, then you already see uh Halloween stuff out.

SPEAKER_04 8:58

Right.

SPEAKER_03 8:59

Soon as Halloween is the like the 31st, the November the 1st is Christmas stuff.

SPEAKER_05 9:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:05

Like they done skipped all over Thanksgiving and all that stuff. And then like right now, Valentine's Day stuff been out since the beginning of January. Yeah. And so she's going to the winter break, but we have Valentine's Day first.

SPEAKER_04 9:20

Oh, we do.

SPEAKER_03 9:22

Yes. And Valentine's for people is a great thing. You know, especially I know when we were growing up, it was big in school. Everybody got those Valentines, and you wrote everybody's name on the Valentine, and you pass them out. So when you got to your party, teacher, okay, Kefla, pass out your Valentines, and you just pass them out to everybody. You know, I did, I always, I was always taught to give them to everybody. Yes. Because they didn't re really mean that much, because mom was like, even if you don't like the person, give them a Valentine's. That's it.

SPEAKER_04 9:51

And so, but just be careful the one you give them. Make it be more general.

SPEAKER_03 9:56

Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, we we went through that. We would pick that out. We would just say happy Valentine's Day, stuff like that. Not like, uh, hope your Valentine's Day is sweet, you know. You'd be like, oh no.

SPEAKER_04 10:07

Or cutie pie.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

Yeah, no, none of that. And so, but in turns, there would in turn there would be kids who would pass their Valentine's out and not everybody got one.

SPEAKER_05 10:18

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 10:19

And you'd be like, What? And for a kid, that is disheartened. And I think that's probably why they don't really do it like they used to. Because, you know, now they don't want to hurt nobody's feelings. Like they don't let you pick teams anymore because they say that's bullying. You know, like if it's five guys, I mean ten guys here, ten guys there, they say, All right, I got you, you got me. They say, No, you can't do that. That's bullying. Can't they not want us to do that in PE.

SPEAKER_04 10:43

So somebody doesn't feel like isolated.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Yeah, feel left out. But that's life, right? And then learn that's how you learn if you go to a job interview, they don't pick you. So what now their parents want to say, oh, jobs, everybody that applies needs to be picked.

SPEAKER_04 10:56

But it's a little different. But ain't. It is. What ain't the difference, the difference is What's the difference? When you are applying for a job, everybody is not sitting in a room and they're pointing out who got this and who got that. And and the rest of you go home. Now for auditions. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 11:19

Auditions.

SPEAKER_04 11:20

Auditions, they do do that.

SPEAKER_03 11:21

But on a normal number 35, 42, and 73 over to the right. The rest of you ladies, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_04 11:28

However, when but for normal, everyday jobs, that's not a thing. People that are auditioning and they do all of that, like your you, you, I mean, that's just your parents should prepare you for that. But the average job, when you're going for a teach a teacher job, they don't have all the people who apply for a third grade teacher position and said, Thank you all for coming, but we giving it to Miss Hair. That's, you know.

SPEAKER_03 12:00

So But if you if you get if you don't get picked 14 a few times, I think you'll be better off to handle that rejection as an adult later. Because if you always getting picked regardless, and then you never realizing what rejection feels like, then you're built up for some negative uh Oh, sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 12:22

But sometimes the kids are just mean, and the rejection has nothing to always do with um your athletic ability.

SPEAKER_03 12:31

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 12:32

Sometimes it's just because they just mean.

SPEAKER_03 12:35

But sometimes adults are the same way, so it makes you be able to handle it better. Yeah. When I tried out for the basketball team, I knew I was better than some of the kids that got picked for the team.

SPEAKER_04 12:44

Yeah, but when you but the thing, but I get what you're saying, but when we know the hurt, unnecessary hurt that it caused, when you know better, you do better. There's other things that other things that are rejection. Like, but a team has to be picked up. You're gonna try out for basketball. And so to me, it should nobody should even set it up that way. If you, unless y'all outplaying by yourselves, but if you, if it's PE or something like that, teach or divide the kids up. Do not be, do not do that, team captains, y'all choose who you want on your team. That's just it's just not kind. It's gonna end up where somebody's feelings is hurt. It's unnecessary.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

But you got if you're doing differentiation in it, you gotta you gotta pick the teams. You need to have solid, solid, solid, and then mediocre, mediocre, mediocre, and then um, backwards hands, backwards.

School Rules, Rejection, And Choosing Teams

SPEAKER_04 13:40

And that won't happen if you're allowing children to be the team captains and choosing people. They're not gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_03 13:45

Not on a regular, yeah, don't. But when you if you can do it. Well, then you gotta pick this group. We go, we there are groups all over the place.

SPEAKER_04 13:56

I understand, but I I I agree with that not being a thing. Was you not picked? I don't even remember. It didn't even it didn't even really No, I just it didn't really matter to me. But the thing about it is that when you know better, you do better. There are lots of other circumstances in life where you will experience rejection.

SPEAKER_05 14:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:19

Whether it's a girl you like that don't like you, whether it's you try it out for the basketball team, and there's only so many people that can make the basketball team, so you didn't make that. Cheerleading, um baseball, some of those things. So there are opportunities that you won't make the team, um, or whatever things you try out for. So just to have unnecessary pick a team for PE today, that's just stupid.

SPEAKER_03 14:51

And you know how many kids have branched off into other areas of the world because they weren't picked for a team? They say, Oh, well, maybe this ain't for me. Let me go do something else. Then they know they s realize I play the best saxophone in the world. See, sometimes these lessons happen.

SPEAKER_04 15:07

I guess.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

Yeah. You gotta sometimes what what my girl said, you gotta go through something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 15:17

So but anyway, talking about picking.

SPEAKER_04 15:21

Yes, picking.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

It's time to pick.

SPEAKER_04 15:24

Let's talk about the right picking.

SPEAKER_03 15:27

What's the right picking?

SPEAKER_04 15:28

Not what you were saying.

SPEAKER_03 15:30

Okay. Well, what's the right picking?

SPEAKER_04 15:32

Valentine's Day picking.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

Picking like what?

SPEAKER_04 15:36

Um, picking this or that. What would you prefer for Valentine's Day? Would you prefer chocolates or roses?

SPEAKER_03 15:46

And that's a hard thing when when you're picking for someone else.

SPEAKER_04 15:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 15:50

Especially for men, because women don't really know what they want, but they know what they don't want.

SPEAKER_04 15:55

Well, I'll tell you.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

If that makes sense.

SPEAKER_04 15:57

Let me say this. This is one thing about me for Valentine's Day. Well, I'm not gonna say it to actually play it. Sorry, I'm gonna wait because it'll give you what I'm gonna say. All right, so we're gonna Then I'm gonna explain it.

SPEAKER_03 16:08

We're gonna play a little game and then we'll get into Believe It's just the Valentine's Edition. Even though we know Valentine's not yet, we're trying to prep y'all. Because Kree was like, look, we need to get people prepared.

SPEAKER_04 16:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 16:22

But even though it's still a little late to be prepared, because why? A lot of reservations are already gone.

SPEAKER_04 16:29

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:30

You know, but if you were waiting for that check to hit, we understand. You know, some people made reservations well into December, January.

SPEAKER_04 16:40

Yeah, some people have planned there's like my co-worker, um, friend at work, they are doing Nobu and the hotel that is that Nobu is in. And I know they made that at least a month or more ago.

SPEAKER_03 16:56

Yep. But she said she likes it, right? She likes that.

SPEAKER_04 16:59

They went one for one date, nah, I think it was their anniversary, and she said it was the best date they ever had. And um, so they wanted to have that experience again for Lovers Day.

SPEAKER_03 17:11

I want something that's like traditional, like something that we know we do the same place, same something, same thing.

SPEAKER_04 17:17

Every Valentine's?

SPEAKER_03 17:19

Um, no, I mean just something. Like I I like the Optimus for my birthday. But the last time it fell short. The last two times it fell short.

SPEAKER_04 17:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:31

And so that kind of um I mean, it's it soured me on the Optimus. I still like them, but it soured me a little bit. But I always wanted to have a spot. You know what I mean? Like, oh, you know, I'd be saying, oh, we go to the Hamptons every 4th of July. We go do every such and such. Like, I would like to say, oh, we go to this bed and breakfast every May the 10th. Yeah. Or every March the 15th. You know, we spend, you know, a weekend. I always wanted to be able to do something like that.

SPEAKER_04 18:04

I wonder we need to create that.

SPEAKER_03 18:06

Yeah, but we're so, but for you and I, we're so we like to try so many things.

SPEAKER_04 18:10

So many things, right?

SPEAKER_03 18:11

We like to try so many different places to eat. Um and which is crazy because there should be a comparison of something to make us say, well, I like it ain't because we we do compare. Yeah. We say, oh, this restaurant is not their their sushi is not as good as here, their bread pudding is not as good as here, or their hotel is not as good as here, and then we wind up still staying somewhere else to try it the next time, or eating somewhere else to try it the next time. So, um, but I I do like, I do want to have a traditional thing. You know, like I said, I eat for my job. I wish I could be in a Hallmark town, working at a university, riding my bike to get coffee or something.

SPEAKER_05 18:50

Hey, Dr. Hare! Hello, hey, how are you, John?

SPEAKER_03 18:54

You know, to get that assignment turned in, have a good break. And then you get your coffees already there. Oh, I knew you'd be here right on time. Here's your rice krispie treat.

SPEAKER_04 19:06

You are definitely in a Hallmark movie.

SPEAKER_03 19:08

Yeah. And then by which is LaCretia doing the Christmas pageant this year. We love when she does it and does her talent. So amazing.

SPEAKER_04 19:20

Which is so crazy because he does not even like Hallmark movies.

SPEAKER_03 19:23

I don't.

SPEAKER_04 19:23

But he wants to live the life.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

I do.

SPEAKER_04 19:25

Oh my gosh. All right. So with this Valentine's game, I'm going to name something or something. And you're going to try to say what you think I'll be willing to do. Give me an example. That's where I'm going to go in practice. Okay, so let's say if we said um for food, fish or steak. So you're going to try to decide which would I say, and then I'm going to go three, two, one.

SPEAKER_03 19:51

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 19:52

Yeah. Okay. And see if you can if we if you know what I would choose.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

So it's three, two, one, say it, or three, two, say it.

SPEAKER_04 20:00

No, three, two, one, then say it.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

All right. Make sure.

SPEAKER_04 20:03

All right. First one roses or sunflowers. Three, two, one. Roses. Ah. But let this was my disclaimer. Do not buy me roses on Valentine's Day. Cause they overpriced.

SPEAKER_03 20:22

They are.

SPEAKER_04 20:23

And I just don't. That's just to me wasting money.

SPEAKER_03 20:25

That's like that's why it was so hard choosing a spot for dinner, because I knew it was it's overpriced.

SPEAKER_04 20:35

It's like. And I hate that.

Valentine’s Plans, Prices, And Traditions

SPEAKER_03 20:37

Me too. I hate to to just to jump up the price just because you can, because you know people gonna be out or people gonna buy people. I mean, I don't know. I know that's money, but you're making money all the time. You know, if you're not making enough money where you gotta jump the price up one day, then you need to check your business like listen, you can buy me roses the week before Valentine's Day.

SPEAKER_04 21:03

They probably gonna be on sale and they will be re they still will be alive on Valentine's Day.

SPEAKER_03 21:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:09

I just think that's just ridiculous. They are way overpriced.

SPEAKER_03 21:12

Yeah, that's why we used to um try to go out days, you know, like before Valentine or after Valentine's Day. Yeah, because you can now you can order from the menu because everything now is the prefix menu. And so you don't even know if it's really what the you know restaurant had and some of this stuff maybe made ahead of time.

SPEAKER_04 21:30

Well, I tried to tell this guy we don't have to do all fancy on Valentine's Day. We could do the day after or a few days after because right after Valentine's Day is our winter break. We have the whole week off.

SPEAKER_03 21:43

Yeah, but that was after somebody said, You better hurry up.

SPEAKER_04 21:46

I was just teasing.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

So I was like, all right.

SPEAKER_04 21:50

I was just teasing. I didn't even say it had to be a fancy restaurant. I just had plans for Valentine's Day.

SPEAKER_03 21:58

And that ain't the

SPEAKER_04 22:00

Is the perfect example.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

Listen, hold on. Fancy restaurant, it ain't the fact that it's fancy restaurant, it's the fact that the food hopefully is good food. Because, and you, you know, I understand, but you ain't gonna, you don't, you don't want to feel like you wasted any money.

SPEAKER_04 22:17

That's what I'm saying. What I try to tell him was he could have made romantic dinner at home. He could have made me some lamb chops or ribeye steak.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

I thought about that, but I was just tired of cooking. Oh like this week, I was like, You couldn't think about cooking. Yeah. Cause like that one day. What day? You said something about um, what are we gonna eat?

SPEAKER_04 22:36

And I was like When you when you went to go pick up about that salmon and stuff?

SPEAKER_03 22:41

Um, no, it was the no, I I cooked that, but you said something. I said, I don't know, I don't know. Well maybe um we'll do something. And you was like, I ain't you basically you said, I ain't doing that. And you was and I said, I don't recall that.

SPEAKER_04 22:56

Let me go.

SPEAKER_03 22:57

Was that the date that I Oh no it was, I think it was the date I cooked the salmon.

SPEAKER_04 23:00

I said I was found me. I did say that.

SPEAKER_03 23:02

No, no, no, no, no, no. It was. Oh man. Anyway, let's move on. I'll I I'll think, but trust me, I'll say I was.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

The only time I could think about where it was a little confusion with dinner was when I had my clients.

SPEAKER_03 23:16

It wasn't in.

SPEAKER_04 23:17

Okay. Well, I don't know. Any hoodie do moving on.

SPEAKER_03 23:20

But I knew when the way you everything you said, you weren't gonna cook. So I was like, all right. So I just went on hand cooked. So I don't even recall. Yeah, that's so good.

SPEAKER_04 23:35

Okay, anyways.

SPEAKER_03 23:37

We can talk about it off the air. Oh my lord.

SPEAKER_04 23:41

I won't talk about it off the air because I don't even know what you talk about.

SPEAKER_03 23:45

Well, you we don't have to talk about it. I'll talk about it and just let the words float in the room. Oh. Whether you listen to them or not.

SPEAKER_04 23:52

Moving on to the next this or that.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

All right, let's go.

SPEAKER_04 23:56

Um, movie theater or Netflix. One, two, three. Netflix.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

I prefer the movie theater.

SPEAKER_04 24:06

Yeah, because you like the popcorn. Exactly. That's really good things.

SPEAKER_03 24:10

I go and watch any kind of movies as long as I got a lot of popcorn.

SPEAKER_04 24:13

Okay. What about fancy restaurant or home cooked meal? Three, two, one.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

Fancy restaurant. And why she didn't answer? Because she was like, ooh, this might say something. Everybody caught that, right? Yes. Okay, good. Oh, I like that. All right. Let's go.

SPEAKER_04 24:37

Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 24:38

Look at God. God is amazing.

SPEAKER_04 24:40

All right. Wait, my eyes are going because I looked at that bright light.

SPEAKER_03 24:43

All right.

SPEAKER_04 24:44

Uh chocolate strawberries or chocolate fondue. Three, two, one. Chocolate strawberries. Oh, you might know me just a smidge. Okay. Every time you look at that light.

SPEAKER_03 24:58

You gotta look under. Why are you looking up at it?

SPEAKER_04 25:00

Oh no. All right. Okay. Um chocolate chip cookies or pink frosted cookies. Three, two, one. Chocolate chip cookies. Okay. All right. What about chocolate covered pretzels or chocolate covered almonds? Three, two, one. Chocolate-covered almonds.

SPEAKER_03 25:35

Oh, I said, because I think you probably did a nuts. You'd be like, ah, I can only eat so much. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 25:41

Teddy bear or a box of bonbons. Or chocolates. A box of chocolates. Teddy bear or box of chocolates. Three, two, one. Box of chocolates. All right. Flowers or balloons. Three, two, one. Flowers. Balloons. We want some balloons. That's our way.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

That's for kitties. That is. Would you be my Valentine? You struggling?

SPEAKER_04 26:19

I am. Okay. It is. The light is getting me. Alright, I'm not even gonna look at the light. All right. Brunch or dinner. Brunch or dinner. Three, two, one, dinner.

SPEAKER_03 26:32

Oh, I said dinner because you probably get tired.

SPEAKER_04 26:36

The only time we do brunch is like the weekend. And on the weekend, I really don't like to get up early.

SPEAKER_03 26:42

That's why I said brunch. You ain't eating breakfast.

SPEAKER_04 26:45

I know, but you still gotta, you're up and out and dress by like 11 or 12. Well, that's just how I feel. All right.

SPEAKER_03 26:55

We need to go to a beefa then next time for your um vacation.

SPEAKER_04 27:00

A beefa?

SPEAKER_03 27:01

Yeah, they don't call it a bea. It's called a beefah.

This-Or-That: Love Day Edition

SPEAKER_04 27:03

A beefa. Why?

SPEAKER_03 27:05

Because that's like a night they're known for partying all into the night.

SPEAKER_04 27:08

Well, I don't want to be a bit more.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

But I'm saying you're gonna miss half of your day waking up.

SPEAKER_04 27:13

Only on vacation, I get up. Because you've paid to be away. That ain't true.

SPEAKER_03 27:20

No, I'm not saying it's not true.

SPEAKER_04 27:21

But this is brunch or dinner. This is a good thing.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Yeah, I'm just saying, you know. What? Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 27:27

I feel so much disdain towards me today.

SPEAKER_03 27:30

Me too.

SPEAKER_04 27:31

What I did.

SPEAKER_03 27:32

Me? What? I'm trying to figure it out.

SPEAKER_04 27:35

Last one. Come. Rom calm or horror movie. Rom cum or horror. Three, two, one. Rom cum Yeah, I'm a chicken. I won't watch horror. This one's a chicken, too.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

Hey, look. I'm not gonna deny it. I do not watch scary movies.

SPEAKER_04 28:00

He doesn't watch scary movies.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

Because I'm the only one getting up in the middle of the night checking on stuff. And so I don't want my crazy imagination or be to be half asleep and walking around thinking I'm seeing something. I don't want to do that. Get scared. To this day, I still, if I go outside of my house and my parents' house, throw fish grease to somebody at the end of the driveway. I start thinking by the time I turn my back, and I start spraying back to the house. You never know what's out there. Could be monsters out there, y'all. Monsters are stone cold killers.

SPEAKER_05 28:37

All right.

SPEAKER_03 28:38

So this is everybody's favorite time of the episode. It's Believe It Sister. So we got some stories about Valentine's Day. I'm sure some of you have some great stories to tell. If you want to tell them to us, send it to our uh send it to the chat. Now send it to go to our YouTube page, and you can find us there under Keef La Hair. That's K-E-F-L-A-H-A-R-E, like the rabbit. And you'll see the podcast. Leave us a comment, like, and subscribe. We appreciate those of you who are already following us. Thank you so much. And so this story here, let's go. It says, The receipt told on him. The receipt told on him. So Valentine's Day came and went, and it was cool. Not great. Not terrible, just fine. No dinner reservations, no big gestures, just flowers and a quiet night in. So he said, Hey, baby, I'll make it up to you this weekend. A few days later, she's riding with him, helping cleaning out his car. She opens the center console and finds a crumpled receipt. Roses? Chocolate covered strawberries, a reservation at a high-end steakhouse, and I don't even eat beef. It was dated February the 12th. She calmly asked, Mr. Man, what is this? He barely looked up and said, Oh, uh, that was for my cousin. Uh she was having a rough time, so um, you know, I I decided, you know, spend a little time with her.

SPEAKER_04 30:21

Well, that's a dumb uh story.

SPEAKER_03 30:24

But hey, you we've heard words, haven't we?

SPEAKER_05 30:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:27

So her stomach drops. Because the receipt also shows champagne and a dessert label for my love. She didn't raise her voice. She didn't argue. She just handed him the receipt and said, Next time, tell your cousin happy Valentine's Day for me. Believe it, sister.

SPEAKER_04 30:48

So what does that mean? She left? Yes, she was done with it. She got up out of there. Oh, I would have telled.

SPEAKER_03 30:53

She was cleaning the car. She probably got Uber to go and give her a ride.

SPEAKER_04 30:56

Yeah, I'm thinking, why would he say his cousin?

SPEAKER_03 30:59

Hey, sometimes them jokers be lying. They can't do it.

SPEAKER_04 31:02

Oh, he couldn't come up with something good. He wasn't a quick thanker.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

Yeah. I mean he liked that little boy, that little meaning.

SPEAKER_04 31:13

What could he say if that she saw the receipt? What could he have said that would have been better than I took my cousin out because she was having a hard time?

SPEAKER_03 31:20

I just gave what's the name the ride. I bet you that Joker left it in there because he was looking for some napkins or something. Dang. That's jacked up.

SPEAKER_04 31:28

Or he could have said.

SPEAKER_03 31:30

Because I gave him a ride to get the stuff.

SPEAKER_04 31:32

He could have said I had to prepay. That's from that's for for for the night we're gonna have on Valentine's Day. Now shoot. It ain't gonna be a surprise.

SPEAKER_03 31:42

Yep. Or he could have got the receipt.

SPEAKER_04 31:45

Because she could either stay.

SPEAKER_03 31:48

And it took off. What receipt?

SPEAKER_01 31:51

You see something?

SPEAKER_04 31:53

He could have tore it up and ate it.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

What you talking about?

SPEAKER_04 31:56

Ain't no receipt.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

What you talking about?

SPEAKER_04 31:58

Magic. Scone.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

Will you see it here? You see it now? Nope. Just between me and you. I'm not even here. He probably did. She probably said, You right, you right, you right, you right.

SPEAKER_04 32:12

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03 32:14

I don't know, but that's yeah, I mean, it really ain't nothing else you can say.

SPEAKER_04 32:17

No, and he came up with a dumb story, so that was that. And he probably, after he thought about what he said, was like, well, shoot. What no coming back from that dumb story.

SPEAKER_03 32:28

That was a dumb. Dumb story. Yeah. But I mean, you know, hey, what'd they say? Play stupid games, win stupid what?

SPEAKER_04 32:37

Prizes.

SPEAKER_03 32:38

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 32:38

So he lost his woman.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

He lost his woman. Lost his prize.

SPEAKER_04 32:41

I hope the what on the 12th is one he wants to keep.

SPEAKER_03 32:44

Yeah, ain't no telling. Unless she something's wrong with her.

SPEAKER_04 32:48

Yeah. And women, if you are not being taken out on Valentine's Day, you might want to be a little bit suspicious.

SPEAKER_03 33:00

Yeah, unless he.

SPEAKER_04 33:01

Especially if they're not with you on Valentine's Day. So what I'm saying is, you went out on the 12th, and then on Valentine's Day, he just magically disappears. Then just know you ain't the only one, baby.

SPEAKER_03 33:15

Yeah. Yeah, or maybe he's a Valentina's Witness.

SPEAKER_04 33:22

What's that mean?

SPEAKER_03 33:22

You know, like Jehovah's Witness, they don't celebrate Christmas. So Valentina's witness may not celebrate Christmas. That might be it.

SPEAKER_04 33:29

Don't fall for it, girl. Don't fall for it.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

You never know.

SPEAKER_04 33:32

Even if he says he's sick on Valentine's Day. Say, well, I'm going to come over and take care of you.

SPEAKER_03 33:37

Say, uh-uh. Not with this disease coming around.

SPEAKER_04 33:41

Uh-huh. I'll just say, I'll come over. I'm going to wear a mask. I'll take care of you.

SPEAKER_03 33:44

Oh. Then he then say you sit all the time. And if she don't show up after that, kick her to the curb.

SPEAKER_04 33:50

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 33:51

Straight up. Yep. All right, another story.

SPEAKER_04 33:54

Don't be a fool.

SPEAKER_03 33:57

Hey. Sorry. I can't go out tonight. That's the name of this story. So the story starts out by saying Valentine's Day plans, he shut that down early. Restaurants are overrated. Too many people. Let's just chill. She didn't push it. So she ordered food, lit a candle herself, and tried to keep the peace. So she's chilling at the house by herself, sound like.

SPEAKER_04 34:23

Oh, yeah, that's what I'm saying. For Valentine's Day, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:26

And then an hour later, her phone buzzes. It's a message from her friend.

SPEAKER_04 34:33

Girl, guess who I see?

SPEAKER_03 34:34

Is this your man? Mm-hmm. Attached is a photo. Him with a suit on. Roses on the table. This Valentine's Day.

SPEAKER_04 34:45

Oh, yes. Doing it big.

SPEAKER_03 34:47

Candle flickering. Smiling like he just won husband or boo thing other year. Okay. Like this. Because I win it every year. The location tag. A five-star restaurant across town.

SPEAKER_04 35:03

Not a five-star restaurant.

SPEAKER_03 35:05

Five-star. And all she gets to go to is the star on the restaurant called Hardest.

SPEAKER_06 35:10

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03 35:11

That's the only place.

SPEAKER_04 35:12

Oh thank.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

She calls him.

SPEAKER_04 35:15

Did he answer?

SPEAKER_03 35:16

Nope. No answer. Oh, dear. She texts him. It's delivered.

SPEAKER_04 35:20

No read.

SPEAKER_03 35:21

No response. Left on the read. I only know it left on red. Just said no response. Oh, yeah. But it said delivered.

SPEAKER_04 35:27

Well, he knew not to because he didn't want to leave her on red. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 35:31

And he got to change that little setting down.

SPEAKER_04 35:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:34

And then six hours later, he finally replies. What do you think he said? Come on now. It's the generic one.

SPEAKER_04 35:44

I just got off of work.

SPEAKER_03 35:45

Nope. He got off of work five days.

SPEAKER_04 35:49

I was asleep.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

I fell asleep. Sorry, man. You know, I fell asleep. She sent the photo back with one sentence. It was all a dream. That's what she said. She said No, she said it must have been a dream. Because she saw the picture of him out that night.

SPEAKER_04 36:09

So what must have been a dream?

SPEAKER_03 36:11

This picture.

SPEAKER_04 36:12

Oh, because he was asleep.

SPEAKER_03 36:13

Yeah. Oh my God. It's okay.

SPEAKER_04 36:18

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 36:19

So, what are we doing in that situation?

SPEAKER_04 36:22

Well, of course you done.

SPEAKER_03 36:24

You got proof right there. Um you didn't answer.

SPEAKER_04 36:28

She didn't answer. Now, if you want to be a little bit um crazy, you could just go to that restaurant.

SPEAKER_03 36:41

Yeah, you could. But she probably ain't got no money.

SPEAKER_04 36:44

And just walk by. No, she's not going to eat.

SPEAKER_03 36:48

She probably can't get away.

SPEAKER_04 36:49

She's just gonna go in. If she had gas, money, and had a car, a vehicle to go, I would drive to the restaurant. I'm not planning to stay. I'm gonna go in and act like I'm already there. I'm gonna get real cute. Then I'm gonna go in the restaurant and walk by like I'm going to the bathroom and say, Oh. Funny to see you here. Oh. All right, have a good night. I just want him to mind him.

SPEAKER_03 37:17

But what if the lady he was with was crazy?

SPEAKER_04 37:19

She don't know. I ain't saying nothing. I'm not saying who's this?

SPEAKER_03 37:22

I'm not doing all that. Already. She'll be like, I know she's trying to do. Or that's one of my moves. Then she snatched you by your hair. You ain't going to no bathroom, and then now you all beat up in jail because you're trying to be sensipant.

SPEAKER_04 37:36

Or like on um uh what was that movie with T Diggs?

SPEAKER_03 37:42

Uh uh uh not Soul Food. Um not Lovin' Hill, but sugar brown, brown. Brown sugar. Brown sugar, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:50

And he walked in and was like, oh, how y'all doing? And he pulled up a seat. We get ready to celebrate. Richard Awesome. Where are we getting ready to celebrate? My devours.

SPEAKER_01 38:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:02

Um, yeah, and then of course, she should absolutely without a doubt be done because it shows um where she. I mean, first of all, he's cheating, but secondly, she also is like not important.

SPEAKER_05 38:15

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:16

He didn't care about taking her out, showing her a good time for Valentine's Day. Um, yeah, she she was she's not important.

SPEAKER_03 38:24

So she needs to just move on and yeah, she needs to move on because if she was important, he wouldn't cheat.

SPEAKER_04 38:29

No.

SPEAKER_03 38:30

Wouldn't cheat at all. And we say we make time for things that are important to us.

SPEAKER_04 38:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:35

Yeah. So another story. Caught by the kids. So this lady, she was glowing. She posted the Valentine's gift online, child. She was like heart balloons floating near the ceiling, baby. I got a giant cheddar sitting on the couch. Roses laid out like a photo shoot. Bam, boom, look at what I got. And then she wrote a caption on there. Feel in love today with the emoji and kissy hearts all over it.

SPEAKER_05 39:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 39:05

But then about 20 minutes later, her phone rings. No greeting. No emoji. It was a message request. Well, her phone buzzes. It's a message request. Oh, like on a notification.

SPEAKER_04 39:19

Social media, like messenger, just a message. DM, like a DM.

SPEAKER_03 39:23

Uh-huh. From a woman she never seen before, never met before, don't even know. And the message said, Hey, my kids just watched their daddy give you those. So the man was doing all of this, like giving her the flowers, giving her the roses, and all that stuff. And she made a video of and posted him in the video.

SPEAKER_04 39:43

Oh, the man was in the video. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 39:45

And so the her kid saw the video. The other mama, the baby mama kid saw the video.

SPEAKER_04 39:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 39:51

All right. And then her heart heart drops, and the woman follows up with a picture of the same teddy bear, same kind of balloons, same handwritten card that she just posted. And then the woman said, he stopped by my house earlier that afternoon. He couldn't stay though, because he told the kids he had some errands to do. So he gave me, I guess, half of the gift that he gave you. Ain't that some?

SPEAKER_04 40:23

That is something.

SPEAKER_03 40:24

Yep, so.

SPEAKER_04 40:26

This is so sad because this is so sad because so many people's Valentines have ended this way.

SPEAKER_03 40:32

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 40:33

Because of sorry.

SPEAKER_03 40:35

Yep. Dozen rows is a split between two households.

SPEAKER_04 40:39

And y'all know what the common denominator is in this story?

SPEAKER_03 40:43

Women's.

SPEAKER_04 40:45

Men be cheating.

SPEAKER_03 40:47

Women. Mm-mm-mm. Women's.

SPEAKER_04 40:49

Whether they have any red flags prior to Valentine's Day.

SPEAKER_03 40:54

I'm sure.

SPEAKER_04 40:55

Pull a little tink tint.

SPEAKER_03 40:56

But then at the same time, some people, you don't see the red flags. You know, they just decide to pull them out like a handkerchief and be like, oh, I didn't even know you had that in there.

SPEAKER_04 41:05

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03 41:06

You know? Um already. The blind date from hell. This is the final one.

SPEAKER_04 41:12

Okay. Oh, they did a blind date for Valentine's Day?

SPEAKER_03 41:15

Yeah.

unknown 41:16

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

Her friends were hyping him up for weeks. Girl, he's tall. He got a good job. Total gentleman. He's no Keith La Hare, but he is a total gentleman. So Valentine's Day comes and she shows up hopeful, dress on point, makeup flawless. What kind of makeup she has? Savage Fenty.

SPEAKER_04 41:40

Um Ulta. Maybe. I think she did.

SPEAKER_03 41:43

But her nerves were fluttering though. She was nervous, girl. She walks into the restaurant and freezes because he's already there. And so is this other woman sitting next to him?

SPEAKER_04 41:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 41:59

So she goes over there, walks. Okay, let me get it together. Let me do this creature move that I heard about on the podcast, Refreshing Normal, where you just walk by the person and say something. Taboon. Okay, so okay. I don't think I can do that, but I'll try.

unknown 42:17

All right.

SPEAKER_03 42:18

So she walks over there. She s assumes it's his sister, maybe a friend.

SPEAKER_04 42:22

Okay. Or somebody he just met at the bar.

SPEAKER_03 42:24

Just somebody met at the bar. So she's walking on there. And all of a sudden he stands up, looking at her, smiling, way too big, and says, Oh, good, you're here. This is my ex. So all of a sudden, her brain short circuits. And then he explains out loud, Well, this is my ex, and she didn't want to be alone for Valentine's Day. And I thought bringing her alone would keep things comfortable. So dinner now turns into chaos. Because between the two of them, they're arguing about their past relationship, about who cheated, who ruined their last Valentine's together, and who owes who an apology.

SPEAKER_04 43:08

Well, first of all, why did she stay?

SPEAKER_03 43:10

Well, she said she just sat there. She said she just sat there in silence, cutting her food, realizing she is on a front row date to unresolved trauma. And plus, girl, I was getting that free steak. When the waiter brings the check, she stands up, leaves cash on the table, and says, Y'all enjoy your healing journey. Namaste. She should have Nama stayed her behind.

SPEAKER_04 43:37

She stayed her behind him. Exactly. And Nama stayed a fool because as soon as I sit there, he says, Oh, it's my ex. Chow, not today. I do not have time for that.

SPEAKER_03 43:49

I'll be like, okay.

SPEAKER_04 43:50

I would be like, I'm goodbye.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

If he said, Oh, this is my ex, and then I'm like, okay. Like, you know, she just so happened to be here, or he just so happened to be here. Once he explained. But he said, no, I thought that it would be cool for us to be together. I'm like.

SPEAKER_04 44:06

No, sir.

SPEAKER_03 44:07

Um. All right. I'm good.

SPEAKER_04 44:09

So uh I would not have even said that.

SPEAKER_03 44:12

I don't want to stop y'all. And I'm I'm cool with stuff. Like, I'm very cool. Like, I'd be like, hey, y'all enjoy the night. And um happy Valentine's Day to both of you.

SPEAKER_04 44:22

Yeah, because it was a blind date, it was a first date. Yeah. Doesn't really matter. So I it would have been easy for me to say, Yeah, uh-uh, I'm not gonna be a part of this circus.

SPEAKER_03 44:32

Yeah, I I would probably do that even if we were dating. Because I don't have time for because I my thing is you are in a whole adult.

SPEAKER_04 44:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:40

And for me to even get to the point where you and I are dating means you have some intellect about you. And so what you are doing right now is something you've thought about. And even I'm not saying you premeditated, but you're in it, so there should be some thought going behind it. And whatever it is to allow you to be in it, you must think is correct. So you've thought all, you thought out of everything, this is your best scenario, which didn't have me in it. You know what I mean? Then I'm good with that. Okay, thanks for letting me know. I'm cool. I don't need no explanation. That's how I was. You're a smart person. No, okay.

SPEAKER_04 45:16

But you know, I think if it's a relationship, you'll be a little bit disappointed, more disappointed. But on a first date. It's on a first ever date, I mean, like, who cares?

SPEAKER_03 45:28

Yeah, I mean, yeah, first date, yeah, it's like, okay, what's dodge the bullet? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:32

But even in a relationship, I just think like the bullet, but it might be a little hurt feeling.

SPEAKER_03 45:36

Yeah, it's it's no, it's definitely gonna be hurt feeling. It'd be for hurt feelings on the first date, too.

SPEAKER_04 45:40

Oh, I would.

SPEAKER_03 45:41

Because you're thinking, oh, let's say if you just get down back into the game, you're like, you know, you're gonna be down a little bit to think, like, dang, it is hard in these streets. You're not gonna be like, oh yeah, this is awesome. I'm loving what's happening to me so far. But it'll be it's gonna be completely You're not gonna be like you would be if you was in a relationship, but you would have a, you know, on a scale of one to ten, it would be a one or two. Yeah. Right, yes. So your feelings would be hurt. Yeah, that that'll be cold. But I can only imagine.

Double Gifting And Kids Who Notice

SPEAKER_04 46:14

You know, and in that situation, I don't know if my feelings would be hurt because I mean, they really weren't trying to hide anything. It was just their decision-making skills were just not my decision-making skills, just a little abnormal. Yeah, you know, so I just be kind of disappointed that. But disappointed is disappointed that they thought that that made sense.

SPEAKER_03 46:37

Yeah, make sense. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. And you'd be like, dang. Cause then now you're gonna be disappointed that I kinda wasted my time. I could have been something else.

SPEAKER_04 46:46

Yeah, maybe could have gone out with somebody else. Maybe especially if maybe you chose them over.

SPEAKER_03 46:50

Over someone else, yeah. Or I could have, oh, I could have just stayed at the crib. I'd have paid for parking now. Yeah. You know, yeah, so you like, mm. But hey. You we we see that people, you know, well not when we see that when older, older cats, when um, well, we move on. So uh, but horror stories, horror stories. You got any Valentine's Day horror stories?

unknown 47:17

No.

SPEAKER_04 47:20

Well, no, not really. I just had like a um a whack Valentine's gift that I got one time, somebody I was dating. And um, I don't know where they got this. It looked like they got off the side of the road.

SPEAKER_03 47:35

It's probably reusable.

SPEAKER_04 47:36

And it was a little bear, and it said something weird, like you couldn't even tell, like it was like a monster sounding. And I had gone out and got them a nice bottle of cologne, and then I got that little raggedy bear. I was like, oh no. You don't care nothing about me. You'd have got me this bear. We couldn't even tell what it said. It was weird, it was weird. And I was like, so that really was my oh, uh, this ain't the purse for me today. You couldn't even think of a nice little gift. I would have rather had one rose and a card than that little bear that sounds like a monster. We couldn't even tell what it said. That was whack.

SPEAKER_03 48:18

I wonder what I wonder what it was supposed to say. I don't know. Did the battery die? Did he press it all the time? She's gonna love then watch. She's gonna look then get to the It was crazy. Oh, the battery did. My bad.

SPEAKER_04 48:31

Yeah, that was the wackiest Valentine's gift I ever got. And that sent him right on up out the door, baby.

SPEAKER_03 48:38

I don't think I ever got a wacky oh, I can't even remember my Valentine's Day gift, but a lot of times it's, you know, for the men it's not about it's it's normally if a man don't get nothing, we just don't get nothing. Like it's always expected for the woman to think.

SPEAKER_04 48:51

It is expected for the woman. Well, if you got to um create your perfect Valentine, what would your perfect Valentine Day event outing what would it what would be your ideal value?

SPEAKER_03 49:11

Um mine would be a a trip somewhere nice um for probably about three days. Um, you know, to to really get the full experience of everything. Cause you know, one day you're gonna just sit there and want to enjoy the hotel and stuff. Then the next day you want to go somewhere like nice picnic. Um But it's still gonna be about the lady, but it's just if I didn't have to pick, it was just like, here's your here's your card, here you go. Um but I definitely be because I even when I gift give, period, I like to see people receive. Um but it would be a nice three-day trip. Uh let's just say, I know it's cold during this time. Yeah, but um I would I wouldn't mind doing something somewhere tropical. Um nice little bungalow. You know, all you can eat, whenever you can eat, drink, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_05 50:04

All inclusive.

Blind Date With The Ex At The Table

SPEAKER_03 50:05

Yeah, all inclusive. You can sit down on the uh, if we got a little butler, you know, perfect. You know, you sit on the beach, you can ride the bike in the town, do a little shopping, do a little um dancing with the locals, you know, nice little jazz some sauce or something, or you know, reggae something, um, you know, something grown and sexy. Um another nice uh dinner, some some kind of music, uh day of uh massages and stuff, and just chilling and then last day enjoying the hotel and you know, and then getting on back home.

SPEAKER_04 50:45

That sounds like a nice Valentine.

SPEAKER_03 50:47

Yeah, nice little Valentine. Yeah. Nice Valentine. Yeah. All right. Um, what was it? Oh, what was the place to go to when y'all were in Wichita or you know, even college or high school? Like if you went to this spot, you know, that was the spot to go for Valentine.

SPEAKER_04 51:06

Um it's a place like Benny Hannah's. I can't think of what it was called.

SPEAKER_03 51:12

Now what year now is this high school or college? Uh even though you live in Wichita, you're but still some attracts you at a different age in your life.

SPEAKER_04 51:20

High school. What was the name of that place? I can't think of it, but it was a hibachi place.

SPEAKER_05 51:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 51:26

Um college, it probably was like on a college budget. Like Olive Garden was the was the place. But high school was, yeah, we would do hibachi. And I'm trying to think of any other place for Valentine's. All I can think of is Olive Garden.

SPEAKER_03 51:46

High school sometimes we would go to the beach, but you know, but it would be like the beach to eat at a restaurant there?

SPEAKER_04 51:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 51:55

But I'm trying to think. Nah, I this I can't say for me, because to be perfectly honest, I ain't going nowhere uh in high school Valentine's. Um But I'm this is what you know everybody would do. Like Kurt and I would go to the beach, or they would go to um Daphne, go to one of the restaurants there, seafood restaurants. Uh in college though.

SPEAKER_05 52:18

What was it?

SPEAKER_03 52:19

Red Lobster.

SPEAKER_04 52:20

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 52:21

Red Lobster, that's where it's uh Red Lobster was the place where you try to take somebody impress.

SPEAKER_04 52:27

I didn't really I didn't like Red Lobster that much. Uh we did go there for my senior prom. That was the restaurant we ate at before prom.

SPEAKER_03 52:35

I love Red Lobster.

SPEAKER_04 52:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:37

To this day, I love Red Lobster.

SPEAKER_04 52:39

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 52:40

Yeah, but that was spot.

SPEAKER_04 52:41

You went to Red Lobster, they'd be like, ooh, that's girl, you get a Red Lobster. Yeah, I wasn't even supposed to go to my senior prom because I graduated early. Somebody flaked out on someone, and they asked me if I would be their date last minute.

SPEAKER_03 52:53

So you was a senior citizen prom.

SPEAKER_04 52:55

So they asked me if I would go with them last minute. And so I said, sure, I'll go. It's not a big deal. So I ended up going with people that were like, um, I didn't, they wasn't my group of people, but one of the girls that was, they were a year younger than me. And so she was like, Craig, will you go? Uh Lacretia, will you go with him and stay fucked out? He got his tucks, he got everything.

SPEAKER_03 53:21

I had to do that.

SPEAKER_04 53:22

And I was like, Yeah, I'll go. And so I ended up going. So um just so that and we had an awesome time too. Because, you know, I was, I guess I was like, I won't make sure he has a good time. And so we danced, we ate and Did y'all eat like pre-prem, like eat somewhere before? Uh-huh. That's Red Lobster.

SPEAKER_03 53:40

Yeah, see, we didn't do that.

SPEAKER_04 53:41

We didn't have food at our we had snacks.

SPEAKER_03 53:43

Oh no, no, we had meal.

SPEAKER_04 53:45

No, we didn't have meal at our prom. We just um, so everybody would eat before and then go. And so then afterwards, like they little group of friends wanted to hang out and do. And I was like, if you don't mind, like let me go home. I'm gonna I'm gonna go home. I'm oh, let me retire.

SPEAKER_03 54:00

Let me retire for the night.

SPEAKER_04 54:02

Oh, um, yeah. So I went home and then they went and did all with the city.

SPEAKER_03 54:05

I gotta put my little uh what you had back then?

SPEAKER_04 54:08

My car.

SPEAKER_03 54:09

My little, no, my little uh haliberry boomerang. I gotta put my little hella haliberry boomerang hair up.

SPEAKER_04 54:15

That's what I did have.

SPEAKER_03 54:16

In a tie.

SPEAKER_04 54:18

And I went I went home. I think I was home about by before midnight.

SPEAKER_03 54:22

We had we had steak and lobster.

SPEAKER_04 54:24

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03 54:25

Yeah, steak and lob steak and lobster and uh shrimp. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:29

Yeah, we did it.

SPEAKER_03 54:30

So you you get like, I think maybe like one shrimp, but you can get several pieces of steak and several pieces of shrimp and stuff. Wow. The big seafood. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:36

You never had food at our prom.

SPEAKER_03 54:38

Yeah, so we went, we weren't about that. I remember that one year I went 11th grade. My date had to be home by 12, which meant 11:30. Um I mean, the prom was over at 12 anyway.

SPEAKER_04 54:53

Yeah. But Oh, they y'all had to leave prom early.

SPEAKER_03 54:56

Yeah, we had to leave. We had to leave uh in order to be there at 11:30, we had to leave at like 10 45.

SPEAKER_04 55:01

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03 55:02

To get her home.

SPEAKER_04 55:03

Yeah. Yeah. That's a little lame.

SPEAKER_03 55:06

Mm-hmm. And then my senior year, I went to the prom, went to my prom by myself. Um, but I didn't want to go, but since I was the uh SGA co-president, which was also known back then, the I was the black co-president. That's what I ran under. Black co-president of the year.

SPEAKER_04 55:25

And that was in the 90s.

Prom Memories, Hair Disasters, And Red Lobster

SPEAKER_03 55:26

That was in the 90s. Wow. And we ran for it in 91. Keith La Hare for black co-president. That's right. I wish I had a flyer, yeah. And um, and um, so we went to um I mean they they say you're the president, you gotta go. So I said, I'm not going. I don't have a date. And so they bought my ticket. So they said, go. So I I wore uh Oh, you wear the shorts. The shorts, yeah, I wore my shorts. Like uh Boys the Men when they was in the shorts and the uh dress uh sport coat or whatever, a blazer. And then um Shave's cousin uh didn't have a date for her prom. So um they asked me, would we do it? Would I do it? And I did it for her. And then I had to do it for one of my friends in college.

SPEAKER_05 56:11

Her sister.

SPEAKER_03 56:12

Her sister, right. I had to do that in down in Tampa. And um that was cool. I mean, the prom life was great. Um but it was nothing like them kids in California stuff. How they used to get dressed and do it up real big.

SPEAKER_04 56:23

They have the what did they call that party before? That was the pre-prom. Oh, champagne, yeah, the uh champagne party or something, but something champagne. Something like that. Yeah, they would have champagne prom or something like that. Something they'd have prior to, which was the getting dressed, getting ready.

SPEAKER_03 56:39

Send-off or something like that. Everybody would be there. It was like a freaking bridal shower slash back for party all together.

SPEAKER_04 56:47

Because I did Britney's makeup that time for her, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:50

Because after the they're kicking it at the girls' house, they're kicking it at the guy's house, then everybody come together if they weren't that far apart.

SPEAKER_04 56:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:58

And it's uh to the to the break of dawn.

SPEAKER_04 57:01

Yeah, you know, I think it's funny, like um now we see that on social media, but in actuality in California, it's been happening for years. We went to California in 2003, yeah, and it's been happening before then.

SPEAKER_03 57:16

Yeah, because they would everybody tell me, I mean, my older brother did this, and I was like, dang, so this. They say this is what we do in Cali. I said, okay.

SPEAKER_04 57:22

And now everybody else does it, but they've been doing that in California. Yeah, it's I remember when I went to prom for 10th grade year. Oh, it was such a sad time. Someone asked me, a senior asked me to go, but my mama, oh, she was like, I don't know why we didn't go to my normal hairdresser, but some hairdressers she used to have back in the day was back in town, and she said he made her feel so beautiful. And I was like, Oh, okay. That man, my hair looked a pickle. And he had put so much hairspray on it that I couldn't even comb it out. I cried and I cried and I was like, I'm not.

SPEAKER_03 58:10

You sure that was hairspray and not just naps?

SPEAKER_04 58:12

No, shut up. It was a hairspray, and I cried and I cried. I was like, I'm not going to the problem looking like this. This is not how I normally look. And my mom was like, it's something I'm sure it's something we could do. You couldn't even comb me.

SPEAKER_05 58:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:27

Oh, she's like, quit crying. You go, you're gonna mess up your makeup and your eyes gonna be puffing. It was horrible. And I felt like the whole night people was like, Look at that head.

SPEAKER_03 58:38

It was horrible. I bet all the uh Sally's thought it was nice because it was probably a hairspray like their hair.

SPEAKER_04 58:44

It was horrible.

SPEAKER_03 58:45

It was probably a hairspray like that.

SPEAKER_04 58:46

That was the worst prime ever.

SPEAKER_03 58:48

I used to make good money during the prime season, though, because cutting hair and uh shining shoes. Like penny loafers and stuff. Because, you know, the get the guys knew, you know, my dad was in the military and stuff like that. So some and they really like they would Mr. Calf King. Some of them didn't have pops or whatever. And then, you know, I'd be like, I just shine them up. They give me a little change.

SPEAKER_04 59:08

Shoe shine.

SPEAKER_03 59:09

Yeah, shoe shine a baby. You know, back then we used to have to shine our shoes.

unknown 59:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 59:13

Had to have your shoes.

SPEAKER_04 59:14

I don't know nothing about shining shoes.

SPEAKER_03 59:16

Oh, that's yeah. We shine girls' shoes too, so I'm sure you had them little uh boopy di boop, Betty Bop, whatever her name is. Shirley, not Shirley Chisholm. Shirley, what was her name? Shirley Temple. Shirley Temple shoes on. Thought you was a tapper. Because you did thought you were a tapper.

SPEAKER_04 59:34

I was a tapper. I was a tap dancer. And actually, actually, before we move on, I tap danced and did ballet with a broken arm. Well, with a broken arm. But also Chanel, who is on the Today show. Oh she's from Wichita, and we did recitals and tap and things together.

SPEAKER_03 59:58

That's good stuff to know.

SPEAKER_04 59:59

Yeah. So Richard. I got a picture of Chanel from the Today Show when we were kids from during our recital.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:07

Wichita be trying to come up now. Yeah. Y'all got her, Barry Sanders.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:13

You.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:14

Uh-huh. And the BTK. Christy Alley.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:17

Who's Christy Alley?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:18

You know Christy Alley from um. Oh, from Cheers. From Cheers, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:22

Yeah. You and the BTK killer.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:24

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:25

So y'all got a lot of celebrities.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:26

It's a lot of beautiful people from Wichita.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:29

Yep. Y'all got a whole bunch of them. That's all right.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:34

I don't know about the B2K.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:35

He's from Wichita.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:37

Killer.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:37

He's from Wichita. That's where he. I don't know if he's from Wichita, but that's where he was. He was getting them at. So. But all right. So let's move on. So we'll close on out so we can get it something to eat. Okay. So um, what are you uh looking forward to? No, let me a side-eye week first. Give me that side eye. I know you got a few.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:00

Well, I guess I'm a side-eye myself because I didn't know that somebody was sick of cooking, and I hate that I made them feel some kind of cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:07

I was saying. I was so tired of it. And I said it a few times too.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:13

I'm not done. So I'm side-eye myself because obviously I wasn't paying attention, or maybe we both was tired. But in any case, I'm side-eye myself. And next time, so that I don't have to side-eye myself, please somebody just speak up. I feel bad now.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:32

It wasn't no need to be speak up. I just went ahead and did what I needed to do.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:35

Well, anywho, I feel bad, so I'm side-eyeing myself.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:37

I made sure that I cooked. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:40

I just I thought you liked cooking.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:42

I do, but I was just so tired that day. I think that was the first day I was finna see. I know what you said now, but I ain't gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:49

Okay, don't tell me.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:50

This will be alright.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:52

So What's your side eye?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:54

My side eye is that what you brought up earlier about somebody mentioned the snow only come on Saturdays instead of coming through the week, give us that one day off. Because it felt good to have that four-day work week.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:11

It did. Why didn't the snow come on a Friday or a Monday?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:14

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:15

Um, you know, I've yeah, we've had two four-day weeks.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:18

Yeah, I pray that the people up in Northeast, you know, are safe and everything. Malachi and Rita. Um, but um I just wish we had another four-day week, man. Um, but other than that, that's all I'm saying. I'm side-eye. You know, I've I've tried to be a little positive this way.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:36

So are you side-eye Mother Nature?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:38

Nah, because Mother Nature may come back and haunt me. I don't want her to do that. Okay. I'll say I'm side-eyeing all this all the sick people that kind of got me a little down. But I feel great today. Um, it could have been from the opening gym, it could be from the sauna, it could have been from anywhere, it could have been from school, you know. Um, but uh other than that, man, I had some other things to side eye, but can't talk about it due to the want to keep our jobs.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:04

Oh, you're JLB. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:06

Uh and um what else? Oh, what are you grateful for?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:16

I think I'm grateful for the opportunity to help people, I guess. So I think all of my care everything all of the pieces of my career, I've helped people. Like teaching, helping people, school counselor, helping people.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:37

Landcomb.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:38

Landcome, helping people be beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:40

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:41

Um, and then even in my role now, I still help people. But um right now, like I'm really grateful for the opportunity to for the therapeutic work because the work that I'm doing now are people that are really some of them are at their lowest. Um, and people are just dealing with things that some of us can really only imagine. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Very true. So I'm grateful for um the opportunity um to help them um work through this current challenge um in their life, um, to hopefully help them to come out better on the other side. Um when if they're willing to do the work, because you know, it is work to get through it. So, but anywho, I'm I'm just grateful for that opportunity to be able to to help people in in that way. So, yeah, even though it's like heavy.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:44

I'm glad you just said that.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:46

Yeah, it's some of it is very heavy. Um, but you know, I'll figure out how to make sure it doesn't weigh me down.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:56

That's what I was about to say. Remember, because we talked about that just on your regular J-O-B.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:02

Yeah, when I was school counselor, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:04

No, I'm talking about like now when you have to go to these different schools and then you gotta do these uh crises, you know, when you're gonna be able to do that, because I do, yeah, because I do. You know, you you know now, okay. Where is your moment to release this?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:19

Yeah. So it's a that which is quite a bit this is a little bit to me heavier. We do get a lot of I do grief support for schools if there is a if there's a crisis in a school and we go out and um I support and do um schools through grief. So that doesn't happen often.

Side-Eyes, Gratitude, And Heavy Work

SPEAKER_03 1:05:37

Yeah, yeah, I was about to say it's not that often, but this is a weekly thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:42

And sometimes two, three hard moments back to back within an hour. I mean, within you know, the night.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:49

And I'm glad that yeah, and yeah, so my schedule's changed a bit where it's not gonna be so many back to back. So that's nice, but even still um making sure that it's doesn't become too heavy, so I need to be able to figure out what my um And we ain't talking about just working out.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:07

No, I'm talking about talking about actual vocally Yeah. Yeah. Expelling what you are are taking in.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:13

Yeah. So anywho, um, so I'm grateful to be able to help people in their these more than challenging moments, but um also um make sure I take care of myself in the process.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:30

What are you grateful for?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:31

I'm grateful for um today, I mean this week I was just saying I'm I'm grateful for the fact that um I kind of got options and what I meant by that was um it's a lot of, you know when I didn't I didn't land my P job, you know, but I got out of it and I'm doing something that I'm still good at, you know, as opposed to where I just say oh I gotta find a new job totally you know so and I I kind of came to re you know oh you know I'm not that came to grip with it but it it just flashed itself again. You know it made me say oh yeah I'm I'm I'm I am grateful for this moment. Just like when I come home I'm every morning ooh I'm grateful this house is comfortable I want to come home I can come home and say I can rest as opposed to I'm finna go home I ain't gonna rest even when I get home.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:23

You know I'm grateful unless you have to cook.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:25

And I might not yeah because then I gotta do that but I guess I should be grateful for that then but I'm grateful for um a lot of little stuff. Even um I dumb little shihtzu video be popping up so I'll say I'm grateful for the time I get to spend with Cinnabon before it's over. Yeah because she's she ain't got much left but um you know it's it's just little stuff like that that I'm I'm grateful for.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:55

Alright what are you looking forward to this week what am I looking forward to I really don't know what I'm looking forward to this week. I'm trying to think about what's on my schedule but oh I'll say I'm grateful tomorrow I'm going to get my um nails done with Miss Kimmy. I haven't seen her since before Christmas because um we um I went to somebody else to get my nails done because I had went to see my mama for um her birthday and I knew she would want to do nails and toes and so I didn't go to Miss Kimmy.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:35

I went to somebody else so hopefully she won't be too um won't feel too betrayed when I go in with her she should understand or should say you should have came and got them before but then you say I wanted to get with my mom.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:46

Yeah yeah she'll understand yeah so anywho I'm going to go get my nails done tomorrow and my toes um so I'm I'm looking forward to that because the ladies are always so funny. So Miss Kimmy and Miss Stacy will be doing my nails and toes tomorrow. So I guess I'm looking forward to that what are you looking forward to?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:08

I ain't doing nothing tomorrow. I did my work today oh I gotta do work tomorrow yeah I'm um I'm gonna apply to some more um practices see if I can somebody bite you know um we'll see what happens man uh I'm looking forward to uh soon being able to meet with I met with the psychiatrist and they just say you know yeah I gotta take the ADHD test. So I'm looking forward to doing that to see what the results so I can just kind of get some some focus you know even if it's just something um that's practical that they tell me to do but I'm willing to do therapy um I'm kind of getting kind of excited about that just to be able to um better me of course um and I don't know but I I know I'm feeling like I want to do something new you know it's crazy I got that uh not necessarily new or just pick up something old and but start new you know uh whether it's the guitar or the DJ um but I was like the last two days something's just been really on me like really really on me I don't know on you like what? Like on me like to just get it just gave me like like like a like I have an open space and I just feel like you know uh an open space for creativity. Oh okay yeah and so it's just like oh I just I want to create something you know I'm sure if I was a painter I probably would have painted something by now just would have been drawing or writing something if I was a writer but it's just like it's something it's an open space and it's just like ooh what is it? Um and it just keeps flipping between those two. It seems like it's something musically inclined though.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:54

Oh I was gonna say I wonder if it was create a new recipe so you can cook it.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:58

It might be it might be I'll see if I do one tomorrow. I'll probably include cereal since that's what the person said we could eat that night. Yeah and I was totally serious and I know and that's why I got up off the couch and cooked some protein since we were working out and trying to you know live our life instead of being some little frail old people but I digress and shouldn't even be worried about it. I did what I had to do it's done now.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:25

Hey let's move forward okay looking forward to another week happen so ladies and gentlemen thank you for being with us we love you to death yes get ready for your Valentine's Day and I think Jill Scott's album comes out pretty soon that'll be a good theme for your Valentine's Ari Linux.

Self-Care, Creative Urges, And What’s Next

SPEAKER_03 1:11:46

Ari Linux is slamming that's a great for your Valentine's Day you can tell Jamaine Dupree did something with that don't wait to the last minute you only got um less than two weeks yeah so maybe next week we'll come and we'll we'll say the top our top five songs for Valentine's ooh I'll be ready yeah like we'll do it like song for getting ready for the day the day driving to the event what I would probably like to hear during the dinner during the dinner and then hey there pretty baby just in case you got to put a routine just in case you gotta put a routine together I might need hey I might I'll hey while you playing I might take Zumba this week. Alright just so I'll put another routine together uh do it do it do it do it I'm gonna do another zoom routine all right ladies and gentlemen we're about to get up out of here this is Keefla and this is clean and this is the Refreshingly Normal Podcast we'll see you when we see you peace the Refreshingly Normal Podcast