The Refreshingly Normal Podcast with Kēfla and Cree

Cupid Called; He Said Bring Snacks

• Kefla and Crecia

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0:00 | 1:27:43

Love doesn’t need a prix fixe menu to feel unforgettable. We open the door to our 22-year marriage and invite you into the real stuff: how we keep connection alive with tiny rituals, why budget Valentine dates can be deeper than dinner out, and the exact exercises we use to stay on the same team when life gets loud.

We start with music—slow jams, nostalgia, and the surprising way a single song can flip your mood from scrolling to smitten. From there, we trade weekly wins and side-eyes, then dive into a head-scratcher: the reported snake-bite death of a rising Nigerian singer. We unpack why details matter, how to sit with uncertainty without spiraling, and what it means to make sense of tough news together. It’s messy, human, and surprisingly bonding.

Then we get practical. You’ll leave with a Valentine playbook packed with low-cost, high-heart ideas: “Open When” letters by candlelight, a grocery-store charcuterie on a sheet pan, a custom playlist and one slow dance, breakfast-for-dinner with a berry-studded pancake, and a memory walk where you recreate your early photos. For long-term love, try our no-corrections “Remember When” prompts and our favorite communication tool, the Stress Swap—each of us writes one current stress and one thing we wish the other understood, swaps silently, and closes with one small action. No defense. No fixing. Just safety and next steps.

Along the way, we play a couples game that surfaces unspoken rules—fixing plates, sharing food, phone passcodes, tracking locations—and talk about how reciprocity beats rigid roles. We finish with gratitude, family milestones, and the reminder that connection is a practice, not a purchase. If you’re ready to make Valentine’s Day feel honest, warm, and actually doable, press play and steal our best moves.

If this episode gave you one idea to try, share it with a friend, hit follow, and leave a quick review so more people can find Refreshingly Normal. Which idea are you trying first?

Send us your Questions or Comments and we’ll answer them on the show.

Don't forget to Like, Comment, Share, and Subscribe.

Thank you for listening!

SPEAKER_00:

The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. It's gonna be all right. All right, all right, all right. Welcome back, everyone. Thank you for tuning in to the Refreshingly Normal podcast. I am Kifla.

SPEAKER_03:

And I am Kree.

SPEAKER_01:

And together we make up a dynamic couple. A married couple of 20, how many years? Two. Twenty-two years. Man, it's a long time. No, it's plain. 22. Oh my god, Cinnabon snore. 22 great years of love and marital bliss. And it all started with the day before Valentine's Day. In 2003. Did it not?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, yes, it did. The proposal did.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right. The day before Valentine's Day.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

So we're approaching Valentine's Day season. And today is about Valentine's Day. With the exception of like uh one story, you know. I believe it's sister story.

SPEAKER_03:

Did I have anything to do with Valentine's?

SPEAKER_01:

No, my producer didn't um didn't produce anything. Well, my assistant producer produced nothing this week. So I produced quite a few things. But um it's a great story, nevertheless. So, Craig, how was your week?

SPEAKER_03:

Um my week was a good productive week. Um, I had some was that this week? Oh, yes, it was. This week I had some class uh classrooms to visit, check on some people's, and then also um had um I didn't have any presentations this week actually. Okay, didn't have any, but getting prepared because I do have one on Monday. All right. So getting prepared for that, and um, yeah, that's about it. And had clients all week after work. So I had one Tuesday. Uh I was supposed to have one Wednesday, but or Thursday, but that didn't happen. Oh, I had one Wednesday. Didn't have one Thursday, but I was supposed to. And had some Friday and had some Saturday.

SPEAKER_01:

All right then.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, and so also this week, um, last year I focused on running. This year.

SPEAKER_01:

Running, running, running, run in.

SPEAKER_03:

Um focusing on strength.

SPEAKER_01:

All right.

SPEAKER_03:

So this week I started my strength stuff, and I am so. You scrong, but I'm gonna be strong, and my booty gonna be booting. Hey, booty licious. Anyway, so I'm focusing on strength. So um, yeah, I started out this week, so I'm sore, but I'm gonna keep on pushing on.

SPEAKER_05:

That's good.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep. Um, and so yeah, that was my week. Nothing to complain about. I'm alive, well, and in my right mind.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I don't know about all that, but you alive and well.

SPEAKER_03:

Anyway.

SPEAKER_01:

Two out of three ain't bad.

SPEAKER_03:

How was your week?

SPEAKER_01:

My week was pretty good. It actually was pretty good. Besides that lady trying to kill me, but we'll talk about that in um side eye.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, that's your side eye.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Um, but it was a it was a good week. Um nothing too too um, you know, hitting the gym like I'm supposed to. Um just doing what I was supposed to be doing, you know. And in class, I looked in in uh my master's class, and then in at my job. It's crazy when I learn how to do the math, then the next week we do something new. And I'll be like, shh, girl. I'm like, dang it. You know, I'll help the kids real tough for like two days, boy. Then after that, that next week, two days.

SPEAKER_05:

A new skill.

SPEAKER_01:

They be like, Coach Hair, uh uh-uh-uh. I'm trying to pay attention. Trying to learn how to do this.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh my god. Dr.

SPEAKER_01:

Hair, uh-uh-uh-uh. I told you, leave me alone. Just still learn how to do this. But uh, other than that, man, everything's been good.

SPEAKER_02:

Very nice.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. So since it's, you know, a little daylight, and we're trying to get you to uh your little, to our little in-house date night to watch the uh, what is it called? Forever Love or Love Forever something like that.

SPEAKER_03:

Relationship goals.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I was close.

SPEAKER_03:

He was not close.

SPEAKER_01:

Relationship goals is to have forever love.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, that's true.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right.

SPEAKER_03:

I am so excited about this movie today.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I gotta go get some snacks, though.

SPEAKER_03:

I didn't get any snacks, so I was supposed to do that. Ciao.

SPEAKER_01:

No, you don't believe in going to the store after you come in. I don't. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

That's a fact.

SPEAKER_01:

But believe and make sure everybody else goes when they come home.

SPEAKER_03:

So if you ain't made it home and I'm home, then I say.

SPEAKER_01:

It don't even matter if you have made it home and you come home.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, then let's talk about something that you do.

SPEAKER_01:

It's all you want to say that. So listen to the stuff.

SPEAKER_03:

Let's say what this person will do when he knows I'm at the store.

SPEAKER_01:

We're not gonna take score. I mean keep score.

SPEAKER_03:

When I'm at the store, and then he'll text me to pick up stuff that he'd have forgot to tell me before.

SPEAKER_01:

What's wrong with that? Um You already at the store.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm already done shopping.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, well, that's fine. Then just say I'm done shopping. That's not what I do.

SPEAKER_03:

I still go back in and get it.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's not what I do. I still get up and go to the store, even though I didn't want to go to the store today either. Uh, you wanted to get in the car. Let's drive.

SPEAKER_03:

Who said you had to go to the store today?

SPEAKER_01:

I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_03:

He didn't because guess what I did, guys? When I got done with my client, I called and I said, Hey, what you want to do for lunch? He's like, Oh, I already picked up turkey breast and salad.

SPEAKER_01:

Cause I knew.

SPEAKER_03:

He didn't know he was.

SPEAKER_01:

Should have came home and would have been like.

SPEAKER_03:

I would have done that. I was, I called.

SPEAKER_01:

It's all good.

SPEAKER_03:

Anyways, we both do our fair share.

SPEAKER_01:

We do. We do our fair share in the hair household. Amen. All right, so let's go. Okay, um, let's see. What else? What else? What else? Oh, what? All right, so I had on my little board, my little uh storyboard over there. Okay. So I was just sitting in class, and you know I'm a I'm a music person. Yes. I love music. Um, I was sitting in the was I sitting in class? No, I was driving.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And past this old head, you know, old guy. He had to be about 60 something years old. Um, blasting um some um, was that forevermine? He was blasting that loud, you know, that's a slow jam. Then coming from the gym, an old head got in his vehicle.

SPEAKER_05:

What was he?

SPEAKER_01:

And he was blasting uh boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, whoa, whoa.

SPEAKER_00:

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, uh the original version, boom, boom, yeah. Yeah. And then another lady, she was blasting something in my heart.

SPEAKER_03:

Something like that. Everybody's getting ready for Valentine's.

SPEAKER_01:

But they were blasting it loud. Yeah. And so that made me think.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. And I saw a young book blasting uh Scissor Weekend.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. So I was like, you know what? I don't see white people playing slow music loud anymore.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

But they used to back in the days.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, so I was just thinking, and we, you know, we live, there's a lot of white folk where we live. So you should see as something should be on the statistical in the data sheet. You know what I mean? And so, you know, I was like, they could at least be, I don't know what any white slow music, slow song. Now they'll bump black music, like the uh rap music. Oh, yeah. They'll bump that real loud out of the thing. They bumpedness. And then they'll turn it up when they see a black person, uh, they'll turn it up real loud. But I was just like, remember back in the days, they used to play it. And um they just bumped their slow music out of their cars.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't recall, I don't know, because when I grew up, I didn't I didn't live around white people.

SPEAKER_01:

All right, y'all. If y'all know where Wichita, Kansas is.

SPEAKER_03:

In my neighborhood, it wasn't.

SPEAKER_01:

So you only stayed in your neighborhood when you went to school.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, no, I did it. So I'm just gonna say You worked at the mall. I never remember, I don't recall slow jams coming out.

SPEAKER_01:

Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe Wichita wasn't didn't have love in their heart. Maybe Wichita wasn't about slow dancing, slow jams and stuff like that. So what didn't have cards.

SPEAKER_03:

In Foley, did you see? I wanna know, I love it! I want you to show me. That's true. That's true, that's true.

SPEAKER_01:

You would always hear those kind of things.

SPEAKER_03:

I guess if my mommy said I was thinking, had I ever seen them like a uh them uh blasting it like a Keith Sweat song.

SPEAKER_01:

No, they said their song, they would put their songs.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and even now I don't I'll hear I'll see old black people blasting slow jams.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But I don't see white people blasting slow. They'll blast rock. They blast the rock. Yeah. And they'll when they be driving the car bats and stuff like that, and then old drop top cars, they're blasting all that rock music, but there's no love music.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm gonna pay attention to see doing it. No slow jams like they used to. I honestly don't pay attention because I'll be so busy in my car. Jamming out. Jamming on the one. On the one and two.

SPEAKER_01:

But I just thought about that. I'll say, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I never paid attention to it. Yeah. And I'll and quite um honest, honestly, I don't think I heard anybody. I'm trying the last time I heard somebody blasting their music, they was um, it was boys to men. It was a girl in the Starbucks uh car um um the Starbucks drive-thru line, and she was um I'll make love to you. She getting ready. She getting ready. She had that. And I mean, it was seven in the morning, and she was just blasting. And she not our age, it looked like high school, like and um, yeah, she was blasting her uh voice to men. So that's the last time, and that was a while ago I heard anybody.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I mean, it's it is cold too, so a lot of people ain't got don't have their windows.

SPEAKER_03:

But you can still hear it, like I get out of here.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, but I'm I it just made me think, and then you know, black folks when when our song is on, we'll let that winter down. Let somebody else hear that music.

SPEAKER_03:

I do, and then when I pull up into my job thing, then I turn it down.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Well, I don't know how in my school. If it's if it's good, I'm blasting it. Like if I'm in my Jeep, I'm blasting it.

SPEAKER_03:

They don't need to know that side of creep.

SPEAKER_01:

But I'm going, well, I'm in high school. I you know, I go to high school, but I only play the clean version when I pull up in school. I don't play the Now when I get ready to go home. You play the dirty version. I play the dirty version.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-hmm. All the nastiness. Oh, God. Yeah. My neck. My back. I don't even play that. No, all right. So let's go. Okay, so today's believe it sister. I'm gonna read this story to you guys.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And it's very suspicious. Sounds like a true crime episode in the making. All right. So here we go.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I did read this story. You read? I did.

SPEAKER_01:

And did you read my notes? I did. You read my notes, alright? And then my notes are hey, hey. You know what I'm saying? All right. So this girl, she was a single, well, she's a late, well, was a lady. Well, yeah. She's dead. Okay. Yeah, so she ain't a lady no more.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, she's still a lady. She's not a lady. She's dead. What you gonna describe her as? The dead lady.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, uh, but she's dead.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, well, the lady who is now dead is a lady.

SPEAKER_01:

So the the dead person is um was was a was a live lady before she was dead. And so she was a she's a singer and a former voice contestant. You know that when they uh turn around.

SPEAKER_03:

But it wasn't a voice for America, it was the voice in where?

SPEAKER_01:

Africa, probably voice.

SPEAKER_03:

Africa voice.

SPEAKER_01:

Africa voice, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And so I didn't even know Africa had a voice. I guess they got them all different places.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Like they got uh They got Britain, I know. I look, they got a uh UK one on the. I think it's Nigerian Idol.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Something like that. I saw that on YouTube. I said, all right, all right. And so uh singer and former voice contestant 26 dies after being bitten by a snake in her sleep. Suspicious. All right, so if Nonya Ka Wangjine, a rising singer, who appeared on season three of The Voice Nigeria. Oh, The Voice Nigeria.

SPEAKER_03:

What's her name?

SPEAKER_01:

Infonyaka nyjine.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh no, that is not that girl's name. It's it is Norkika.

SPEAKER_01:

Well if if you naya.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

If if if you naya, or if you naya Chini. Okay, a rising singer who appeared on season three of The Voice, Nigeria, has died after suffering a snake bite. She was 26 years old. Music director Sam Izuga and Umisuka Khoya, which Nguine participated in, confirmed her sudden death in a statement shared on Facebook. She said she died due to a snake bite at a Nigerian hospital on Saturday, January 31st. So Imuso Khoya regrets to announce the sudden demise of our beloved soprano, the choir wrote, a rising star in Funyye, was on the cusp of sharing her incredible talent with the world. Her voice and spirit will be deeply missed. Ninguini, Linguini, or Nik Ningwana Hene, originally born in the city. Now she's Linguini. Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Keep going.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, she was bitten by a snake in Abuja, where she lived.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

All right.

SPEAKER_03:

That's a city in Nigeria. Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

In Africa.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, in Africa, okay.

SPEAKER_01:

So this is what happened.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

They said she was asleep. She was also an architect. Okay. She was asleep when the snake bite woke her up.

SPEAKER_03:

Smarty.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Snake bite hit her and it woke her up.

SPEAKER_03:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01:

And this person also said he he claimed to the outlet that two snakes were later discovered in her home. All right. So footage circulating on social media shows a snake handler taking one of the reptiles from the residence. The Sopranos scene attempted to get treatment for the snake at a nearby clinic, but no antivenom was available. So she sought further assistance at a hospital. Now take, put a pen in there. No antivenom was available. Pen. Yes. So Ezukwo identified the hospital as Federal Medical Center in his post announcing her death. The Nigerian police force did not immediately respond when people was asking for questions. In Wangini, first game, the lady that got bit, gained a following after turning two chairs on the Voice Nigeria's third season.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Alright. So the late singer, she covered something like Rihanna and original music on her that's on her own YouTube channel. So she was actually supposed to be going on tour. Alright? She was scheduled to go on tour within uh like a few weeks. She was supposed to go on tour. But ironically enough, she was bitten by a snake and was killed. So following her death, um somebody named T Braz, he's a Nigerian musician, revealed that Iquinji Yunaguana Jean, yes, had been at his studio on January the 28th recording a feature for his next album. Okay. This was T Braz.

SPEAKER_03:

All right.

SPEAKER_01:

He wrote a tribute to the late artist alongside a video of her singing into a microphone. An irreplaceable loss to the Abuja Music Society and Nigeria at large, the artist wrote of Ingwang Jeanie, Mahan and Heart feels very heavy righteousness. Because it is imaginable, Lucinda, such a young, promising great, talented music artist who touched so many lives. It is very heartbreaking, especially in Nigeria, where music runs deep in our souls and connects us all. He continued, the pen of saying goodbye to someone whose voice and energy brought us joy, inspiration, and even healing is many and heavy. From her unique voice to the stories she told through songs and the way she represented our culture and struggles. Nanya was a true artist who left an irreplaceable mark. So check this out. This lady said she was bit by a snake.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

She went to the hospital.

SPEAKER_03:

They didn't have the venom.

SPEAKER_01:

Didn't have no antivenom.

SPEAKER_03:

I mean anti venom.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, didn't have no antivenom. Alright? So when you don't have um anti-ventom.

SPEAKER_03:

Anti-ventim.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean I mean anti-venom. When you don't have the anti-venom, alright? Um for snakes, that's a problem.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. So she got bit by these two snakes. Most in in areas like that, they have, at the hospitals, they have the antivenom of the poisonous snakes in the area.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, so like we would have something for rattlesnakes?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. And um, like when I was in Australia, when I first did road rules, when I was milking that snake, we were collecting anti-venom for that snake in that area.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. So that way, if I get bit, that local hospital should have the snake in that area.

SPEAKER_03:

So somebody brought that snake in?

SPEAKER_01:

That's what I'm thinking. Okay, did somebody bring the snake in?

SPEAKER_03:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01:

Or because they said it was two. And then also I researched it and they said rarely will there be two venomous snakes in the same, in somebody's home.

SPEAKER_03:

Why?

SPEAKER_01:

Because it's almost like territory, it's just rare for two snakes to actually be. It's like two lions. Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Mm. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because they're competing for the same whatever.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. And so, and then, you know, just like for the young girl to ironically didn't have the anabom, then she had to go somewhere else. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03:

And then So that, but that means that that was a snake that's not. Did they say the snake is normally found in that area?

SPEAKER_01:

No, they didn't they didn't say that. But the uh when I was researching said normally if a hospital doesn't have an invention for a particular snake, then that snake is not indigenous to the area.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. So somebody brought that in. Now, the you said the Nigerian police they didn't they didn't have a response.

SPEAKER_01:

No response.

SPEAKER_03:

Now, the Nigerian police, are they crooked?

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know. But I I mean, just the one thing about police, you gotta understand is police are humans.

SPEAKER_03:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01:

And what do we know about humans?

SPEAKER_03:

Some of them.

SPEAKER_01:

Some of them are evil and some of them are not.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

So, you know, and then whenever there's celebrities, stars, and money involved, and and in in countries like not saying Africa's a third world country because it depends on where you are.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

A third world continent, but it depends on where you are, they're doing very well.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But money talks very loudly.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, money talks everywhere.

SPEAKER_01:

It does, but it talks loudly in certain spaces.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

You know what I'm saying? Like you can get a lot of stuff done depending on the amount of money you got. You know, and and and the amount of money the other people do.

SPEAKER_03:

So there could have been multiple things. Somebody could have paid off the hospital to say they don't have the venom. Somebody could have paid off the police to act like they have no idea what's going on. And somebody obviously hired a hitman.

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03:

And who did it?

SPEAKER_01:

Sounds like a Netflix special to me. And why?

SPEAKER_03:

And are they going to try to figure this out? But it sounds like to me, they just gonna close the case.

SPEAKER_01:

Case close.

SPEAKER_03:

And just blame it on the snake.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and it would be like.

SPEAKER_03:

But I think there's more to the story.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, you had a bit of Nigerian in you when you did your answer. I did.

SPEAKER_01:

That's why that's why I had to read it like that.

SPEAKER_03:

I understand.

SPEAKER_01:

It's just like when we when how we always say when you know somebody is of uh Latin or Hispanic descent, they talk perfect English and then on that on the Latin word, or even just saying Lucrecia. Yeah, or even like that's it, Latinya.

SPEAKER_05:

Taco.

SPEAKER_01:

Everything goes as it changes. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so that's why I had to do that.

SPEAKER_03:

I understood.

SPEAKER_01:

I said, oh, that's like 48% or to 23 and me.

SPEAKER_03:

How many?

SPEAKER_01:

43, 45.

SPEAKER_03:

Are you making that up?

SPEAKER_01:

I could have sworn it was that high.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

It was 40 something percent.

SPEAKER_03:

Are you sure?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. What else would I be?

SPEAKER_03:

There are other um African cultures besides Nigerian.

SPEAKER_01:

No, but I was the majority of that was Nigerian, then some of it was the other part.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

I might be a king. That's probably why every time I go somewhere, people act like they, you know, they know me or they want to be around me.

SPEAKER_03:

Maybe so. I might be a queen because guess what happened to me this week?

SPEAKER_01:

What happened?

SPEAKER_03:

When I went to go do a walk in the school, and one of the teachers wanted me to meet her son because he was new to the school this year as a sixth grader. And she says, Hey, I want you to meet Miss Cree. He said, Oh, hello, uh, Michelle Obama. I said, Oh, okay, I'll take Michelle Obama.

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-hmm. You might be.

SPEAKER_03:

But listen, leader queen.

SPEAKER_01:

Like you said, like Leader Queen. Pets and kids, they sense the natural aura of people.

SPEAKER_03:

My aura.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep. So we could have been.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So so that was that's why we ended up together.

SPEAKER_01:

That's probably it. It's just royalty. I'm a king.

SPEAKER_03:

And I'm a queen.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep. And you are my queen. I chose you, my bride.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. I'm not even gonna try.

SPEAKER_01:

No, don't do that. I don't know. It'll start talking Spanish. It's all good. So that was today's episode of Believe it, sister.

SPEAKER_03:

Somebody set that lady up and try to kill her. I don't know why. Could it be jealousy?

SPEAKER_01:

It could be. Could it be Could it be that he she didn't she didn't clear that song in the studio? Could it be that? Or could it be also she knew he was, he knew she was going on tour. So he brought in the studio to try to get her to do the song. And so he was like, well, she's on tour, maybe she'll do our song on tour. She was like, no, we can't do the song on tour.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, then he said, Oh, you're not gonna do anybody's song then.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right.

SPEAKER_03:

Possibly. Um, or maybe she was trying to leave one record company to go to another one, and they were like, oh, we seen that in the industry.

SPEAKER_01:

We seen that. What's that show you watched? The guys from Detroit when that girl was on drugs and they made her take the overdose.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, it had La La in it. BMF.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

BMF. So who knows? I hope that that the in the end, whatever it is, the truth comes out. Because I do not believe it was a snake bite.

SPEAKER_01:

So hey, I'm telling you, this could be a good Netflix movie. Because that other neck, that African Netflix thing we saw, what was it called? Uh the The Bester and the Beast. Or the Beast and the Bester. I watched it. Remember the Facebook phone. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

That was good. That probably could be the name.

SPEAKER_01:

That was very good.

SPEAKER_03:

All right, you guys.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know the name. I know y'all say it. Boy, every time you try to recommend something, you don't know the name. I don't, because something wrong with my mind. Um, short-term memory loss. I will admit.

SPEAKER_03:

But it was the Facebook guy that was on there luring women in.

SPEAKER_01:

It is good. It's very good. Yeah. It's very good. Bester is in there somewhere.

SPEAKER_03:

Some best of he's a he was not was he not Jerry? I don't think he was.

SPEAKER_01:

No, no. No, they wasn't. They were from South Africa.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah. Very good story.

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-hmm. All right. So let's play a game.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Get your paddle.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't have. Oh, I do have a paddle.

SPEAKER_01:

Got a paddle.

SPEAKER_03:

So not so.

SPEAKER_01:

On one side, it says refreshingly normal. On the other side, it says so not so. Bless you.

SPEAKER_05:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Now, this game, we're going to say some things that people do that we may see, like, is that normal? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's refreshingly normal. Or something like somebody say, oh, everybody at my house uh don't wear draws. And we'll say, so, not so.

SPEAKER_04:

Mm-hmm. Well, depends.

SPEAKER_01:

But what we're doing, everything's depends. Everything depends on something.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that's true. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Societal norms.

SPEAKER_03:

Or our norms.

SPEAKER_01:

Or our norms. We're talking about our norms. What's normal to us?

SPEAKER_03:

Normal to us. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

What's normal to us?

SPEAKER_03:

I don't know. This little society is pretty ratchet right now. I don't want to be a part of it.

SPEAKER_01:

So it's very simple. So we'll read the statement and then we'll either say refreshingly normal or so not so.

SPEAKER_03:

Is this Valentine's?

SPEAKER_01:

No. Valentine's, we got something else for Valentine's.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And then we'll have just a quick explanation if you want to.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, don't.

SPEAKER_01:

No judgment.

SPEAKER_02:

Alright.

SPEAKER_01:

Just vibes.

SPEAKER_02:

Alright.

SPEAKER_01:

It's a vibe, vibe on its own, right here. Okay?

SPEAKER_02:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01:

Alright, here we go. Let's see. So some of the categories is common, sexy, weird, or is it? Couple code, unspoken rules, and mind your business or nah. Or nah. Alright. So here we go. So common. This is in the common section.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Fixing your partner's plate at family gatherings. And you know some people don't do that.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I don't do it in I don't do it for you.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, sometimes you do.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, sometimes I do.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you don't do it all the time.

SPEAKER_03:

No. But sometimes I do, but I don't. Just so y'all know, that ain't always a thing.

SPEAKER_01:

But it is.

SPEAKER_03:

But sometimes you'll fix my plate.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. But as but I'm saying that's that's normal.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it is normal. It is normal. But I don't some people um fix plates and they don't want to fix plates. Some people don't deserve their plate fixed. That's what I'm trying to say.

SPEAKER_01:

Why they don't deserve to get their plate fixed?

SPEAKER_03:

Because they're trifling. They really aren't good to their partner or their spouse. They really don't deserve it. They don't do their fair share.

SPEAKER_01:

If they are together, they deserve to get their plate fixed. Because if that's what you dealing with, if that's what you're accepting and allowing, you might as well continue to go through everything with them.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm saying too.

SPEAKER_03:

Some of them don't.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, yeah, it may not be good, but okay, why you look, if you don't like them that much, then go. Get out.

SPEAKER_03:

Leave. I just feel like sometimes there are men who will sit at the table and the expectation is every time for their plates to be fixed. And I just think, like in our house, it's give and take. It's sometimes I may sit down and my plate may be made, and vice versa.

SPEAKER_01:

That's just how we are, though.

SPEAKER_03:

I know it. That is refreshing and normal.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, I don't, like, I know a I knew a lot of people growing up who, you know, the men.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, all my Amies were there.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, they they but that's how it was. Remember, remember what episode was that? Um, was that on um what's the show we watched? Uh-huh. With uh Tracy, Ellis Ross, and the kids. Blackish. Yeah. They talked about that episode, why they did that. They said because back in the days, the man was the breadwinner. Yeah. And he was at home and he was taking hell from everybody's son.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. And then so That was him feeling served or feeling like yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Appreciate him. Like I fixed my my husband's plate.

SPEAKER_03:

And that part I absolutely, without a doubt, understand.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_03:

But um, long are gone those days where the man is the only breadwinner. That's true.

SPEAKER_01:

But if you like, if you like an old traditional rule and say, I always fix my man's plate.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm not saying anything's wrong with you. But he at sometimes should fix your plate.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Once, twice.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

But if you enjoy it, that's fine. You enjoy it, you do it.

SPEAKER_01:

We pay attention to what the other one is doing at the time.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Like if everybody's eating and I'm sitting down, Kree be like, Key, you want me to fix your plate? And I'll be like, sure, babe. Or and vice versa. Like she's doing something. I'll say, Kree, you want me to fix your plate? She'd be like, sure. Or no, you know.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So I just think, you know. I don't know. Anywho, next.

SPEAKER_01:

Saying drive safe even when they're going five minutes away.

SPEAKER_03:

Mm-hmm. Because most accidents happen a few miles from your house.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh no, because you're you're you're more comfortable. Comfortable, yeah. Everything is so routine. You like, okay, this is my little strip. Oh, boom, and I turn boom.

SPEAKER_05:

Yep.

SPEAKER_01:

Somebody hit you. Yeah. All right. Knowing when I'm fine does not mean fine. That's refreshing and normal, child. I speak woman. I speak fluent woman. And I know. I know when to just get on up out of here. Alright, one more for the coming side. Sharing food without asking. Now it ain't always been that way. For me. Like family is this. For my significance, this. Come in with Mama would say.

SPEAKER_06:

He let you dig on his plate.

SPEAKER_01:

Ooh, child, he would hate boys. Yes, no, leave me alone. Alright. Let's see. Well, no, not now, because I don't know your fast food order by heart.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, yeah, cuz.

SPEAKER_01:

Because you don't know your fast food order by heart.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, to be quite honest.

SPEAKER_01:

Please be just be honest to that question. Am I right?

SPEAKER_03:

I was gonna say, I don't even eat fast food that often. That's why you don't know it. I don't eat at McDonald's. If I went to Chick-fil-A, what do you think I would get? You can look up the the good thing about our thing if you live on the apple.

SPEAKER_01:

It'll be the nuggets. The little grill nuggets, right? The real nuggets. Yeah, but it wouldn't, but sometimes it'd be like, all right, what do you want to eat?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh that's society. That's not an order. That's the place.

SPEAKER_01:

But still, there is no order. Whatever my order is, that's what the order is.

SPEAKER_03:

No, not necessarily.

SPEAKER_01:

When it's when it's like when it's okay. Not like a small fast food, but when it's a large place, like uh uh Chinese food.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, you know why? When it's let me say why.

SPEAKER_01:

When it's uh the restaurant like uh Jim and Nick's, places like that, whatever I order from.

SPEAKER_03:

No, that's not always true. But some sometimes that's not always true. If we order from Chinese, this is what this family do. Because Chinese, when you order, it's really shareable. And if everybody orders their own thing, we end up with all these leftovers that nobody eats. So for me, I'm always looking at cost, and so I'm like, there is no need for me to go. Only time I will is if I really, really want something else. For instance, sometimes Jimmy Nicks, he's just gonna order the wings. So I said, I'll do the wings because we can get the little 12 or whatever that is. Sometimes I really want something different, then I will get something different, but for the most part, I'll just be making it cost efficient, make it make sense. Next one, please.

SPEAKER_01:

All right, now we're gonna move on to weird or is it okay? Using the bathroom with the door open. Not in my house.

SPEAKER_03:

You peeing?

SPEAKER_01:

I try to close the door peeing sometimes. Uh it's a habit of closing the door. Just a habit of closing the door. You know? But I mean, I understand, yeah, you're a pee, but all right. Tracking each other's location. Like track, I'm not tracking it. No, what we got it on our track, we just got to do it. Oh, we do.

SPEAKER_03:

But I'm not like tracking it like where you are.

SPEAKER_01:

But we we know each other's location based off of the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Um, sharing a toothbrush in emergencies. Oh, heck no. You better use your wash rag. Get you a clean wash rag. Use it. That's gross. All right. Uh, knowing each other's phone passcodes. Yeah, they know that. All right. Um, let's see. Finishing each other's sentences accurately. It depends on what it is. So sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. Um, sitting in silence for long periods of time and loving it. Um It depends. It depends. Like, if we want to be quiet, like you just say, well, we just need to like brain dump. Then we do our mindless brain filling of phone scrolling. Oh, yeah. Dump our brains from stuff from the day, but then we fill it with mindless stuff on the phone. Yeah. Um, my legs. Talking in baby voices sometimes. That's funny because that on Kelly Rowland, they was just on Scott Evans, they was just saying that.

SPEAKER_03:

I think that's I may do it to just be sarcastic and I scrap sarcastic.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I don't do that. All right, sexy talk. Um texting your partner while in the same house, child.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, yeah. I mean that. If you're if they're upstairs, downstairs. Now, if you sit next to me, no, that's dumb. People do that, they sit next to you.

SPEAKER_01:

No, kids do.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh no. Now, if you're upstairs or downstairs and I don't want to go up or down, then I'm gonna text you.

SPEAKER_01:

Hey, look across the room that means later. It's normal for me. Yeah, I don't know. You don't do it. Just go ahead and tell you. Yeah. Getting turned on by your partner handling responsibilities. It's normal to me.

SPEAKER_03:

I thought that's normal to me.

SPEAKER_01:

Whispering something wild in public.

SPEAKER_03:

How are you gonna tell me what my thigh is?

SPEAKER_01:

Because I have God, how he be doing. No, God said you don't even need to hear yourself.

SPEAKER_03:

Because I like acts of service.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

And I'm appreciative.

SPEAKER_01:

I like that.

SPEAKER_03:

Anyways, come on to your next thing, trying to tell me what I Whispering something wild in public.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I don't.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm not uh not that kind of talker.

SPEAKER_01:

All right.

SPEAKER_03:

Attraction.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, go maybe.

SPEAKER_03:

Have I ever said something like when I've been like really um had a couple drinks? That just ain't in me. Like saying that you're so hot. Come give me some, daddy.

SPEAKER_01:

I that's not me. You ain't gotta say that.

SPEAKER_06:

That's weird.

SPEAKER_01:

Why do you gotta say, oh, you're so hot, come give me some like something subtle, like, oh, we need to help him get out of here. I'm ready to go home.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I can't I can do it. That's just weird for me. I think I'm too shy.

SPEAKER_01:

All right, too shy.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm too shy to do that.

SPEAKER_01:

All right.

SPEAKER_03:

All right.

SPEAKER_01:

I am you know your wheels can become uh out of alignment if one wheel always working more than the other one. They're moving at the same pace.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, whatever that means.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. Attraction increasing when the partner smells good for no reason. I smell good all the time. Watching your partner get dressed. Tell her to go ahead. I know the answer. What's the answer? Put it up there, child. Seeing your partner calm in chaos.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I do like that. But he's always calm in chaos.

unknown:

What?

SPEAKER_01:

If you want me to edit this part, I will.

SPEAKER_03:

It said just saying. What? You mean seeing you calm makes me what?

SPEAKER_01:

No, I'm just saying, like, no, I'm saying like some of the other parts. If you want me to edit, just let me know.

SPEAKER_03:

What other parts?

SPEAKER_01:

Like the question right before that was. All right. Couple code.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, MJJ, J J J.

SPEAKER_01:

Passing the phone to your partner to respond to certain text.

SPEAKER_03:

No, I just say out loud, what should I say? And I read it back to you. I don't have to pass it to you.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I guess you say.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I do because I read it to you, so that would be that would be. Yeah, so not so. So not so. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Making eye contact when someone says something crazy.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, that's us.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And then sometimes we know not to. Because if we do.

SPEAKER_03:

They'll see it.

SPEAKER_01:

No, we're gonna laugh. Yeah. So that's why I just like don't even look at her. Mm-mm. Yeah, because I I know if she looks at me right now, we're gonna we're gonna start laughing.

SPEAKER_03:

So we're gonna get in trouble.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. Leaving early without explaining to others. Yep. That's normal. Cause you know, sometimes we'll try to, all right, let's get on about it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, we just go, what?

SPEAKER_01:

If it's a big crowd.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, as I well, as I have gotten older, you you used to feel like, or I used to feel like I had to give people an explanation. Now I'm like, well, y'all, we get ready to get out of here, and that's it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't have to explain myself to anybody. If I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep. So most people don't want us to leave because we want they expect us to be the life of the party.

SPEAKER_03:

But if I'm, I mean, I just think you you don't have to explain yourself to me.

SPEAKER_01:

No, you gotta go. You ready to go, go?

SPEAKER_03:

Gotta go, gotta go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

All right. Um letting your partner answer questions for you.

SPEAKER_03:

Like, what does that mean?

SPEAKER_01:

Um I don't know. Let's see. Letting your partner answer questions. No, I'll answer my own questions.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I don't think uh Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm good at answering my own questions. Knowing when to step in and when to shut up.

SPEAKER_03:

I guess I don't know. Do I know how to do that? Um I think I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01:

I'll say 90%.

SPEAKER_03:

I'll tell you.

SPEAKER_01:

The other 10% is be min minutes when I'll be like, don't, don't. Anyway, I done say it now. Yeah. Too late. All right, uh, pretending not to hear your partner say something reckless.

SPEAKER_03:

You don't say reckless things.

SPEAKER_01:

I do. I I say, um, when you say something, I'll be like, Wait, he does sometimes.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh no, no, no, no, no, no. You have, yeah, you do sometimes. I'd be like, I can't believe he said or did that. I don't want to give an example. But then we get in the car, I say, Why did you do that? And then you'll say something, even though you know what you did, you'll say, Oh, I thought they weren't talking to me. Well, you know they were.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. That's what I do. Saying we'll talk later and actually meaning it.

SPEAKER_03:

What does that mean? I don't like these.

SPEAKER_01:

These are kind of Well, they say, like, that's a couple stuff. Is that normal if if we say we'll talk later and we actually mean that's normal for us.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Like we'll follow through if we're gonna have a conversation.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, yeah, we will.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, we don't say we'll talk later. You never talk about it, we never talk about it. Oh, yeah, that's not true. We will discuss. And then sometimes it won't even be a later.

unknown:

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, we'll talk about it later. You know what? I'll talk about later. You say, but it but what I'm saying, and then I'll be like, well, go ahead.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Because I know well, we'll talk later means three, two, one, action. And then there she go. So all right, last uh subject. I mean last uh not subject, but last uh compra couple, you know what I'm trying to say. Yeah. Category. There we go.

SPEAKER_03:

There you go. I didn't know you were.

SPEAKER_01:

Maybe not weird, but who knows? Canceling plans last minute and feeling relieved. Woo! That's normal. Yeah. Yeah. But it's only when like we don't like to cancel good plans, but if it's a you like like the new one, like the date is Ooh, something sounds like I can't hear in here. Oh, it'll it'll come back. Okay. Like the date uh we were supposed to go with um Paul and Megan. That wasn't a last minute cancel. Yeah, that's a date conflict.

SPEAKER_03:

It's because I didn't look at my calendar correctly. But we don't, if we tell somebody we're gonna do something, we do we in there.

SPEAKER_01:

We in there.

SPEAKER_03:

Um we're not a like last minute tell you that we aren't.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Like we know when you ask us something, we know that uh nah, that probably ain't us. So nah, we ain't gonna we ain't gonna we ain't gonna make that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Now if we we may be a little tardy, but um And that's rare. Yeah, but yeah, we don't do that because it's not fair to other people.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Because I'm I love to respect time. I love to respect people's time. Sharing clothes. It's not we don't do it. Uh well, she'll she'll wear my sleeping shirts.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Which I love.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, but we don't share clothes.

SPEAKER_01:

So what you doing? So not so? No, we don't share clothes. Yeah, we don't share. We don't wear the same side. But I love when she likes wear my sleeping shirt. Um watching reality TV together religiously. No, we don't do that. No.

SPEAKER_03:

He doesn't he doesn't like to watch my ratchet TV. So I watch it on my own.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep. Um, planning exits before entering events. Oh.

SPEAKER_03:

We certainly do that. It depends on where we're going.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep. Always having inside jokes no one else understands. Yes. All the time. Saying, ooh, this is for sure. This applies to you.

SPEAKER_03:

Who just me? Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Saying you hungry when you are actually the one hungry. You gonna eat anything today? I mean she wanna eat something.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, because he'd be sitting around, I'm like, goodness gracious, it's almost noon. We haven't eaten. We probably just got up. Mentioned any food.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. All right. Defending your partner in public but correcting them in private. Um, it's normal to do so, but we haven't had to.

SPEAKER_03:

We haven't had that. that that situation.

SPEAKER_01:

But I'm not not gonna uh do her I'm not gonna make her you know correct her.

SPEAKER_03:

But also know that don't we don't play those games. Yeah. So maybe that's why. I think people do that to people that they know they can get away with it.

SPEAKER_05:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep. All right. So, Hemi, there's our game for the week.

unknown:

Woo!

SPEAKER_01:

We'll use these paddles later, ladies and gentlemen. Since somebody said they butt is getting right, I gotta see if it's gonna be a narrow butt. That means the paddle goes this way, or it's gonna be a nice but good squat butt paddle go like this. And I put the professionally normal because she light skinned so when I hit the pop her she had a tattoo Oh my lord that's called branding. Branding be like one of them people be at the uh uh bikini parties I've what where's the bikini party happening? I've never been to those yeah my bad forgot forgot forgot I was talking about myself all right bikinis you know I I had to uh judge the uh what's that Tropicana Suntan Lowe's I had to judge one in um Panama City at what's that the Club La Vila yeah I had to judge that one time right when I got off the show all right open when letters and candlelight read so what this is about that's just one thing sorry so let me I gotta jump into it so good so what we're talking about now back in the days when me and this lovely lady first started well not first well when we were into our true dating phase okay okay because we only celebrated one Valentine's Day together as a couple um before marriage.

SPEAKER_02:

That is so true.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah only one before marriage um and we did that on a budget all right and which was crazy because that was planned before the engagement was planned.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh I didn't know because I didn't do that.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh because but you didn't know it again the engagement well no what is it no I take that back because I had the ring for a well but I didn't know the date. I didn't know when I was gonna close okay I had no idea but I had the I had the ring in January. I think I bought the ring like maybe it was Christmas. No it was January right when we got back from when we spent Christmas away um right when we got back I got the ring and so we made Valentine's Day plans I think the beginning of February and what we did was we said that um$20 budget that includes$25 I think$25 it was$25 budget. That includes the gift and food and anything whatever. Nothing everything all together could not go over$25 okay and um that was our challenge to each other and so we did that and it was real cool very very cool great Valentine's so I'm saying that to say this is we've well I the real producer I came up with a list um of inexpensive Valentine's Day date idea ideas gift ideas idea and um just so that you can change it up a little bit because it's easy to to pay$300 and let the atmosphere entertain you. But after so long that requirement on other people becomes mundane and and you know so repetitive that you kind of want to you know is she really kicking it with me because I take her out and do all these fun things or is it that she really likes spending time with me and you never know you may hit a hit a a time in your life where you ain't got that money like that. You know and you still want to be able to celebrate and still want to be able to enjoy each other's company. So I came up with these little ideas with the help of of her um boyfriend side piece ChatGPT Well can I share an idea?

SPEAKER_03:

Sure you can you can share an idea um so this idea is actually an idea that happened so um our son who is always on a budget with his first Valentine's Day trying to do Valentine's for his girlfriend um on a budget so they ended up doing um he ended up doing a picnic inside I helped him kind of think of what to do so they did a picnic inside so he got um subway and then when they went to go pick up their subway subway was giving out roses so they got a rose had their subway came back had a little blanket with the um in the TV room andor the loft and had their subway and their rose um and I think he did I think he got her like a candy or something and then they watched um a movie together but pretty inexpensive you got to get a rose at Subway had a little indoor picnic because the weather didn't call for that to happen and um you can still do something to show somebody that you love them.

SPEAKER_01:

So that's for uh you adults out there still living at home with your parents and you got a date you can take them back to your parents' house and have a picnic and they loft yep or in the basement whatever you got wherever you live in maybe your parents' house. Yep on the little landing right there where that stairs take that little turn yeah right there how big it is a little table a little coffee table right there have a little lover's picnic. Yep little lovers picnic but we had a good time with our uh little thing um we had pasta we had uh pasta yeah I remember I got the pasta from Eatsy's I don't I don't remember that I remember you making something with um maybe that was a different meal you made I think that was a different meal that's when you made the twice baked potatoes because I remember some shrimp cocktail and shit it was the shrimp it was I made like a I I got the shrimp from Eatsy's but I had like a small little amount of pasta. Oh okay yeah okay but yeah I did have this because it was it was shrimp too but EC's you know they was I love Easy they were real cheap. All right so number one open win letters and candlelight read so the cost is averaging around five to ten dollars so what you're gonna do is really simple you're gonna have like one candle you're gonna have some soft music playing okay and you're gonna read these letters out loud that you're gonna write okay um and so well I say that you don't read the letter out loud like that day you give them letters and the letters are labeled open when you miss me and then you write something in there.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay? And then open when you need a laugh write something in there okay and then open when you feel overwhelmed open when you want to feel loved and open when it's safe. I mean open when it's late and you can't sleep but have these written on the outside and give one to each other and then you'll say okay now let's write something to each other to help us in this in this moment.

SPEAKER_03:

That's such a sweet thing. So you just got your you got the candle you got the candle got our music the activity is writing the letter to each other you got music and maybe like a little glass can they buy a$5 bottle of wine they can if they want to yeah then that that'll go with the book what's the bottle of wine the$5 one?

SPEAKER_01:

Andre's Andre Barefoot and what's the something creek barefoot is not$5. What's the creek? It's something creek you go to Trader Joe's two buck chuck.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep two buck chuck two buck chuck at Trader Joe's okay so you're gonna have wine um and writing letters.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep that's a cool and then like say you seal the envelope and and each one then we leave with our envelopes and then or whatever put in your purse or whatever it is and then when you feel that you look so I'm open this envelope.

SPEAKER_02:

That's very nice.

SPEAKER_01:

All right let's see grocery store charcuterie board and a living room date.

SPEAKER_03:

Aren't all charcuterie boards from the grocery store?

SPEAKER_01:

No depends on you from the country.

SPEAKER_03:

So what are now charcuterie board can get expensive. It can are they meaning buy one that's already made it says skip the$80 board. Okay that's what I was going to say expensive. Small small put it on the plate a small charcuterie because when you start buying all them digital that's why it's cost so much.

SPEAKER_01:

So like if you got a cutting board just get a cutting board if you got a uh a dang bacon sheet but the problem is you can't buy those things in in in small quantities we're talking$12 to$20 right here.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. So you can get some crackers that's five dollars get some cheese cheese that's another five if you at 10 and then you can get some chocolate that's another five okay and some sparkling juice and then sparkling juice that's five you at twenty twenty dollars that's it right oh okay that's it but if it's like if it's at Publix buy one get one maybe or Kroger digital deals maybe hopefully you can find some things on you maybe can find a pre-made charcuterie that's like a small one that's like$10. You can and then it that'll save you a lot of money.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep but the thing about it what you want to do is you want to arrange it nicely regardless of how much it just take it off the thing arrange it nicely. You know if you put it in the shape of a heart if you whatever you do arrange it nicely and then gotta have your music phones off what they doing?

SPEAKER_03:

You're sitting there enjoying each other equally carcoery and talking just the conversation phones off and the music talking about music.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay all right so the next one a custom playlist plus one slow dance oh that's nice all right and this is free okay so you can create a playlist called Us or Songs That Feel Like You uh If Love Had a Sound When you made a playlist back in the day what was yours called I don't Bump and Grind we I made one called Bump and Grind I made one called Straight Hunching I made one called I think only guys did that because I didn't make any playlists well girls in my neighborhood did. I didn't make a playlist y'all was lame in Wichita.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank God you moved because you wouldn't have found no love you definitely would not have because y'all didn't do nothing child we made playlists I mean the guys did no the girls did too the girls didn't girl boys I mean they fast hey they weren't fast but they was now I I have to say this I I love the idea of putting together this playlist and one um one um slow dance but listen you got to feed me something I need more than uh just a song on Valentine's I I need a little something in my belly I'll be too weak to dance okay so we're gonna do playlists and some uh pinwheels some hors d'oeuvres because that's if you went to a dance that's all you're gonna get is some chips that's fine just give me a little something yeah so you're gonna get some chips and some d'oeuvres some little pinwheels I'll even do a nice dessert just something a piece of cake and dim the lights one song one slow dance a little choreography cake and champagne just closeness give some cake and champagne and just and then I give you a slow dance gene grinding because I don't know if you're gonna get a good slow dance if I'm hungry just gene grinding.

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-mm. That's just not if you be fool you're like I can't damn fool.

SPEAKER_03:

That's why I said we don't damn when we fool just a little appetizer y'all probably didn't even slow down the top y'all probably slow down with your hands on the shoulders give me a little appetizer or little one two step little cake and champagne little strawberry champagne little something we used to get down with the get down oh I know how to slow dance you know I'm a dancer.

SPEAKER_01:

And you put them little white boots on there you go those that had a picture of white boots somebody on on social media it was some celebrity had some white boots on was Beyonce yo they was talking about Beyonce them bees you seen that oh yes yeah she had those little white boots playing with those metal tassels on there I ain't mess with them bees oh yeah I love making playlists I love it I always did we used to make uh so did you ever record a song off the radio? I think so where you had like you was waiting on that song like they said the song's coming and you waited on it. It was like up next we're gonna play uh Thanks for my child and you'd be like oh shoot I gotta get it because I don't have that one and then as soon as it comes on radio you hit that play and record real fast just right and then when they go off you'd be like oh I got it I don't think that I did that most of the time I listen to the radio I was trying to win prizes.

SPEAKER_03:

One time I won a three piece Popeye's chicken meal That's what I listened to the radio for well it was a long distance call for us so we would have got in trouble. No.

SPEAKER_01:

Because the radio stations in mobile that was long distance at the time oh no uh I I used to listen to win we was listening to get them jammed baby so I can put that playlist all right next one memory walk I like this one okay um don't work for old folks though this is free to five dollars and what it is is take a walk like your first date location in a neighborhood that y'all met or whatever or your park that y'all probably so take a walk down memory lane um and then recreate a photo from early in your relationship that you you know maybe at that park or at that diner or at that place that'd be cute or take a new one and then say we're gonna recreate the same photo X amount of years later. Hopefully y'all be together Yeah hopefully they are but I mean if if we married Well we didn't just say married I know what I'm just saying but that'll be good that's that's a cool thing memory lane all right um back down memory lane photograph all right breakfast for dinner breakfast y'all y'all gonna listen to the episode of the day is sound like you just like to eat. I do cost can be between$10 and$15 depending on what you make breakfast for dinner. Alright pancakes or waffles eggs bacon or fruit so that's a good because you can get them Padlabelle pancakes they like$199.

SPEAKER_03:

Guess what I saw this person make they did okay they took a sheet pan they made the pancake mix poured it in the sheet pan okay then they took strawberries blueberries and made like decorations like with hearts or flowers it looks like flowers. They baked it and then when it comes out it looks like this like Valentine a pancake then you can cut it into triangle I'm not sorry rectangles and serve it but it looks really cute.

SPEAKER_01:

Like a big old uh what's it called American Cooking Company? Yeah but it's a pancake American pancake but a pancake with strawberries and blueberries on it or whatever berries you you choose of your choosing of your choosing all right so your pancakes is bagging fruit then you leave sticky notes on the fridge in a drawer or on the bathroom mirror. I did that for you before examples like I still choose you or you make my life softer or I'm better with you in it. Those are just some things you could do all right now for people who've been married in long term because you want to really think about that because definitely like you said you know you've been married for 10 years and you've got them everything.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. Like oh my God what I can get them we've been everywhere.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah we've done every trip we've done every restaurant especially if you live in a small town yeah that's true we've eaten at this restaurant time and time again but like you said last time you wanted to find some kind of traditional you do I do want something that is is traditional. Yeah you know I want something that we can do um like our tradition changed when the boys came back home child remember that first we had every Friday we would meet up and do something on Fridays remember? Oh yeah we was like oh we have it look but they still do that I know child but they just because I that was that was called empty nester dating oh and then when the mug came back that mug it took it away took it away y'all anyway remember when night okay okay this is for married couples married couples or people who've been together for a long time is this still cost efficient or cost efficient free to five dollars oh three to five dollars free to five dollars oh free to five dollars free to five dollars sit together and take turns answering remember when I knew I loved you yes it was such and such or a moment you don't still I mean or a moment you don't know I still think about tell me a moment you still think about that I don't know what's a moment that you still think about that I that you think I don't know about it's a lot I think about a lot of moments give me one I'm asking you a question you laughing when we first kissed um the moment I said I love you um the proposal okay um the first moment I met your parents like it's at least once or twice a week oh my god because those are just moments like those are moments that I can go to when I want to feel instantly good about everything it's a coping strategy when I laugh you know like you know when I first measure a parent I can I can I can think of the boy and I laugh you know what I mean because of the whole scenario I really do laugh um those are those are some okay and then there's still some that we're making you know like I I think about um the trips we've taken together um of course I've been thinking about uh the trip we just did with the boys how just Ricky the raccoon yeah but but how it re it's like solidify our grown stature because we got grown boys that were doing grown things with their parents you know what I mean and that was I like that was that's our like king and queen moment yeah that was tough to us yeah like the idea that they wanted yeah yeah us to do something with they're like we don't want to hang out with you guys yeah that was that was just you know um something you do now that still gets me you know something we survive together uh no phone the rules are no phones and no correcting memories so even if you say you had on a blue dress no I had on a red dress just let it you know what I mean don't correct the memory let the memory stay Holly wrong that's how they remember you oh okay as long as they don't say you know you were somebody else then you'll be alright okay just don't this the things I guess don't impact the feeling yeah the color is not a big deal because even though it was red it may have it may have seemed pink because it was like pink is so pure and she's pink at the time you know never know all right another one is recreate the first year meal so this is like 10 to 15 dollars make and order something you ate early on like your first apartment struggle meal your first date food like within that first year something that y'all done within that first year uh something y'all couldn't afford back then in your first year you know something like that um while eating asks what's better about us now and then this reframes growth instead of longing for it all right okay intentional nothing date this is free so it means do nothing together sit together no TV no phones maybe music okay maybe silence okay but just sitting together you're not doing nothing that's for Valentine's this yes this could be for Valentine's okay so you're just sitting together you're doing nothing you don't have a phone no phone you're not eating anything you're being present in each other and a lot of times we're not present that's the thing even when people go out for a date you go out for a date and you You didn't even enjoy, you enjoyed the food, you enjoyed the ambiance. Yeah. But you didn't even get a chance to really enjoy each other.

SPEAKER_03:

But you said you aren't talking.

SPEAKER_01:

I know. But sometimes being in your presence. It didn't say I couldn't touch you. I couldn't hold your hand. I couldn't just sit with you.

SPEAKER_03:

It's kind of like one of those things I've seen, like they maybe do it in uh therapy or tantric therapy for sexual couples. Where you just kind of sit and stare at each other. Stare and breathe.

SPEAKER_01:

You could do that stare if you want to, but you know, we ain't been stare at each other too long. You're not doing anything, you're just being together.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And at some point ask, what do you need more of me? Right now.

SPEAKER_05:

What do you need?

SPEAKER_01:

I mean more from me right now. What do you need more from me right now? Okay. Alright. So this is very powerful.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. And then after that, you go to dinner.

SPEAKER_01:

Shall I get this lady son to eat? We're gonna eat. You're gonna choose what we're eating today, tonight. The stress swap.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't want your stress.

SPEAKER_01:

Each of you write down one thing currently stressing you out.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

One thing you wish they understood better. Then switch papers.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Read silently.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

No defense.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And no fixing.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. And then end with one small thing I can do to help.

SPEAKER_03:

That it seems I'm thinking of something for you now.

SPEAKER_01:

This is this is powerful even for you with your therapy.

SPEAKER_03:

That's what I was saying.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

For some of my couples or people that are struggling in that couple.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, this creates sex, this creates safety, which is sexy in grown folk relationships. Safety is important.

SPEAKER_03:

Will you send that to me, please? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Safety is extremely important.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I like that. I like that. I think that's a good strategy for couples who are having a difficult time communicating or feeling like they don't feel heard. And sometimes when you get into um talking about some of the issues that you could possibly have with one another, it gets so heated that people are so busy either trying to fix it or defend themselves that you aren't hearing one another. So that's a perfect way for people for a couple to hear one another in that way. And it's it's very solution focused. Yeah. Because you're you're not saying you're gonna fix everything, but you're just doing something that moves you even a tiny step forward.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

But whatever you write on what you're willing to do shows that they were heard.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And I say, when you say, like let's say we did that, and then I say, um, what is one small thing I can do to help? Once you tell me, I I still can't fix it today. I have to take that with me. You know, I got your list, I have to take that with me. And then, you know, over time, you know, be intentional with either trying to do what I need to do, but I need to be comfortable with leaving the moment without fixing it. And the the person needs to be comfortable with them leaving the moment without fixing it. Because a lot of times they're they like, well, it didn't get done. You didn't do it, you know, so he's gonna ever do it. She ain't gonna ever do it.

SPEAKER_03:

The only thing I think that could backfire is I think in both in that activity, um, it has to be a space where both are wanting and willing to do that something.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I don't I don't think this is a uh something that you're just gonna throw on a person.

SPEAKER_03:

They have to be in the right mind space.

SPEAKER_01:

Or they gotta be the right kind of person.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So some people ain't they're not gonna take that.

SPEAKER_03:

And because you could end up disappointed and you do this list and or whatever it may be, and then they just don't do. And you're like, I I I was very clear. And like they haven't even done like one thing that I said could help. And so then that makes you feel um where you were from the beginning, and you feel taken for granted.

SPEAKER_01:

But then that's not necessarily a backfire when it's post. Backfire is an immediate. You know what I mean? So it's like once it happens, that part like okay. Explain the first part you said that's a backfire. If if you give it if you do this with somebody who's not willing, yeah, that's a backfire.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But waiting on them to change and they don't change, that's not a backfire. You understand what I'm saying? A backfire means something that happens. It's like it's it's almost like a uh, you ever hear somebody say a knee-jerk reaction? It's something that happens immediately. It's a response, you know, causing causing effect.

SPEAKER_03:

But I Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So that that part, I don't know what term to use for it.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

But that delayed where they don't do it.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, this whole activity is delayed. Yeah, well, I'm saying it well because they can't, they can't immediately fix it or not. So the idea is that they It is.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it is delayed, but it's not a backfire. A backfire is the immediate when that person says, I'm not doing this. Or he goes into that's a backfire.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh yeah, like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh so that's why I was just I was just saying a different word to use as a Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh yeah, you have to know you need to know your person. Don't don't set yourself up for Because your whole Valentine Day be rude. Yeah, so know your person. Because that is not for everybody.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. But it's very, it's very strong.

SPEAKER_03:

But it is a very, it's a great, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I think this is almost something that you should do once a year or once a you know, when people do the check-ins. Yeah. Couples do their check-ins. It's something like, you know.

SPEAKER_03:

Bi-yearly.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I don't think quarterly. I don't think you should check in too often because sometimes people be saying stuff. It's like, damn, I just improved on this. Now I'm already failing in this too.

SPEAKER_03:

Maybe it's like spring cleaning. So spring cleaning of your, you just think of it as spring, y'all do it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Spring cleaning.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Grown love coupons. Five dollars or less. Not the cheesy couple. Um, I'll handle this without reminding you. You can write that down as a coupon. Uh, one uninterrupted hour for you. Especially when you got kids, you know, you'll be like, I'll take the gears for it. I'll initiate the conversation we've been avoiding. I'll plan the next date. Or your way, no commentary. So anything you want to do, no commentaries, is it is what it is. So those are good grown love coupons. Five dollars or less.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Um more thing.

SPEAKER_01:

What?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, how many more things you got? I got oh, that's a lot, babe.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I ain't gonna do all of them. I just want to do like maybe two.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, because we've been on this for a long while.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, well, we'll get off of here, ladies and gentlemen. Since my wife is ready to eat. Let's just go into the next thing.

SPEAKER_03:

How long have we been? I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_01:

So, side eye of the week.

SPEAKER_03:

Give us some more of what was on your thing. We read it, we read it. You you didn't hit everybody for Valentine's. Any other ones at the bottom that was a good idea?

SPEAKER_01:

Time to go.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, MG.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep, time to go.

SPEAKER_03:

All right. I do have a side eye though, ready to go.

SPEAKER_01:

There I go.

SPEAKER_03:

So my side eye is for the young men who work at Pet Boys in Montgomery, Alabama.

SPEAKER_01:

Near Alabama State.

SPEAKER_03:

My baby was having battery trouble. So he was able to get one of the his uh classmates to uh give him a jump because we told him to go on to the auto supply to get his battery tested to see uh what was going on. Did he need another battery? Blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And so um he went to one place and the guy told him, which maybe was the same thing, but he was just saying with his car, your car needs to be reprogramming or something. Anywho, so we told him, um, he was saying you go try this auto shop the next day. And so um we told him, well, just buy a uh a portable battery charger to take with you just in case. So you just aren't stranded anywhere. So um they he talked to his dad, and his dad was like, Well, see if such and such. They say, because he looked online that they can do the bat, you know, you don't need to program something, something. And so going over to Pet Boys. So he went over to Pet Boys, went inside, turned his car off to get a battery, and they told him Pet Boys or O'Reilly.

SPEAKER_01:

Was it O'Reilly or Pet Boys? Pet Boys.

SPEAKER_03:

They told him no, maybe it was O'Reilly.

SPEAKER_01:

I think it was O'Reilly. I think it was Pet Boys First. Okay. The guy that's the guy that he's bought the thing from.

SPEAKER_03:

Is that no? Where do you get your disc military discount? Maybe that was maybe that was I don't know. I get them from both. Oh, both.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Maybe it was O'Reilly. Now I feel I want to make sure I get the right place. Anywho, the side eye is that they told him it was too cold that they were not doing the batteries because it was too cold.

SPEAKER_01:

They couldn't test the battery. Because it was too cold.

SPEAKER_03:

Now y'all know that's a bold faced lie.

SPEAKER_01:

So he's pissed. He goes out there. Go ahead too.

SPEAKER_03:

So then he he's like, called. We said, Well, what did they say? And he said, They say it's too cold. We're like, but that's a bull. You know what? That makes zero sense. So they not selling batteries today? They not test people's batteries, they not gonna sell any. And then my baby goes out to go start his car and it doesn't start. And so um he was frustrated. And so we found We asked them.

SPEAKER_01:

Could they jump the car off?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, yeah. And they said no. They don't have they don't have no jumper cables. They don't have no nobody to work there had jumper cables. Now they are auto supply store.

SPEAKER_01:

And we were gonna buy jumper cables for them to help us jump, but they now they couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_03:

You know, good and well. So, anyways, we ended up um um Key's fraternity, brother Jarrell, met Kimani there. He helped Keemani put the new battery in his car, got them all squared away. But I'm side on because that that is your job. And let me tell you what, it was cold is up north, cold is in Kansas, cold is in those places in Montgomery, Alabama. The temperature was not that cold for you not to be able to do your job. And then I was really pissed because we shouldn't have even bought the damn battery from there. I almost wish we would have told Jerell, can y'all go to another auto supply place, get a battery from someplace else, and then come back and put it in Kimani's car because we we paid, we gave them money. And so, yeah, anyways, that's my side eye. That's good and trifling. And um, I just don't believe you do people like that. And I hope that those young men who said it was too cold. I hope that one day you are stranded somewhere and ain't got no help so that you will know how it feels.

SPEAKER_01:

And I hope that I saw a face come across your mind and you'd be like, damn, I told that young boy it was too cold.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

And they freezing.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But, you know.

SPEAKER_03:

I hope. So, anyway, that's not very Christian of me. Yeah, but it's like it just made me so mad, and he was getting so flustered, but we stayed on the phone with them and um and he was getting kind of short, and we didn't say nothing because we understood why he was frustrated. So, yeah, that's my side eye.

SPEAKER_01:

That's a good side eye to have because I had a side eye was on a bit, you know, yeah. Um, my side eye is I was on my way to the gym Tuesday and obeying every traffic uh sign and signal light was on and everything. And uh getting ready to turn down this little back road, doing everything I was supposed to do in the turning lane, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this lady almost comes and kills me.

unknown:

Woo!

SPEAKER_01:

I saw my light flash before my eyes. Well, I saw her flash before my eyes. She didn't even throw the hand up or nothing. Looked at me like I was in the wrong. And she made a wrong left turn. So she was coming across out of a uh, what you call it, strip mall, and it's there's a sign there that says no left turn, only right turn.

SPEAKER_03:

And she was turning left.

SPEAKER_01:

And she came across to turn left, and she was doing what she wasn't supposed to do. And I was so, I just, it was like I was on stopping and she was still going, and I was like, she finna hit this car, and I can't return this lease in on time. I was so disappointed in my mind, but she didn't hit me, but she almost killed your boy.

SPEAKER_03:

She wasn't gonna okay, but your car was gonna blow up.

SPEAKER_01:

You never know, child electric car could have blew up. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02:

Maybe.

SPEAKER_01:

And you know, me and fire know each other pretty well. Y'all do. We do know each other pretty well.

SPEAKER_03:

Y'all too.

SPEAKER_01:

So that was my side eye. Uh so what are you grateful for?

SPEAKER_03:

I'm grateful that I have a Valentine.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_03:

So I'm grateful that I have a good Valentine too.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_03:

That I don't mind spending my Valentine with, and I know he will feed me.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right. Got to, Lord.

SPEAKER_03:

So I am grateful for my Valentine.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, that's good. I am grateful for the fact that we get a week off next. Not this coming up week, but we got one week and then we get a week off. And it's gonna be uh very well um welcomed. But then after that it's like six weeks. But I'm cool with that. I you know, hopefully we can maybe take a one-night trip or a day trip somewhere.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. I was thinking about that. Um I gotta figure it out.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Um because you work it, you'll she'll work with me now, y'all. We can't we can't dip out like we used to.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh I have some of my clients in the evening, so I'm gonna try to move some things so that we could at least have you got clients at the beginning of the week? One rescheduled for month. No, that's this Monday. So I'm just hoping that that's not what she wants to keep.

SPEAKER_01:

So you pretty much got clients every day this week. Next week. I mean that week.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't know. I mean, maybe.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh yeah. Well, we ain't going nowhere.

SPEAKER_03:

So, but I can move it. I can move it around.

SPEAKER_01:

Like it's gonna be Trader Joe's.

SPEAKER_03:

No, it's not gonna be. Anyways, you maybe forget what I was gonna say. Oh, I saw this thing on uh Facebook that said there are 14 Mondays until summer break.

SPEAKER_01:

That's all right, right now.

SPEAKER_03:

I said, well, that's good to know.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. That's a good time.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That's a good time. So, anyways. Before you know it, we'll be seeing Malachi, Sharina Nim, Granna, and Visha and Mike Nim.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, maybe my mama.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, your mom coming for uh graduation. Yep.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep, right now. Key minds graduating. Summa, Summa Kum Ladi.

SPEAKER_01:

Summa.

SPEAKER_03:

The well, that's not because I saw Magnum Kum Ladi, but that is it's Magna, Summa, and then Kum. So what's Magna? I tried to think of different things.

SPEAKER_01:

That's the top, that's like what 4.0 Magna Kum Ladi. Summa Kum Ladi is like uh three nines to like three sevens.

SPEAKER_03:

Three seven to three nine or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And then coom lie. That's what I had. I had cum lati.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, so he has outdone both of his parents.

SPEAKER_01:

I just wanted to be lotted. Thank you. Thank you, Lati.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So anywho, he's outdone um both of his parents. So we're super proud and if you're supposed to talk about that. Yeah, that's that's what we want, you know, as parents. That's what we want.

SPEAKER_01:

A son is the only man your the the father wants to outdo him. To outdo him. You know.

SPEAKER_03:

So yeah, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

The only one he's truly proud of, seeing outdo him.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep, so excited for that. Um, what am I looking forward to? Well, you already said it. I'm looking forward to break um because even though I do have clients, they're in the evening. So it's still get a slow start and that sort of thing. So um that, and then I'm looking forward for a little maybe a couple night um getaway um just to have some lover's time.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm looking forward to um, like I said, a little break. Um but I already said as far as what I'm grateful for. Anything else you're looking forward to? Um I'm looking forward to rekindling the romance with my Jeep. Since I was driving to Tesla for so long.

SPEAKER_03:

You remind me of my Jeep. I want to do that.

SPEAKER_01:

I got a few things I want to I want to tweak. Something new headlights. Fix that thing. Your son did mess my door up. Trying to unlock it with a stick and got wood stuck in it.

SPEAKER_03:

And the problem with that was you would imagine that's a five, six-year-old. I wanna say I feel like Kimani was upper elementary.

SPEAKER_01:

We was in the house. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Upper elementary at that time. Upper elementary.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, because he was, we only been, they only did elementary one year here.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. And then they was in middle school. Two years? Uh-huh. They did fourth grade and fifth grade.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, well, fifth grade. So it was, it had to be I think it was-I think it was maybe fifth grade.

SPEAKER_03:

Upper elementary gifted student.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, using a stick instead of walking his butt back in the house getting my keys. Cha. But neither here nor there. Um there nor here. Oh, I'm looking forward to getting some new plants.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, because these sad little puppies with this little girl.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. She's she's and then I think they also have been shocked because I had to repot them. So they said they can, they can receive, they can be shocked. So I'm gonna try to hold on to some and clip the like the dead pieces from them.

SPEAKER_03:

So yeah, that little stick you got off there, chat. Yeah, I don't even know how you brought that mess up.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know. I said I'm gonna just play with it and see what happens. It's not doing it.

SPEAKER_03:

Remember, little girl, you're supposed to be encouraging your friends.

SPEAKER_01:

Ladies and gentlemen, ooh, maybe during the break is when I'll buy my paint and paint the wall.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, that's a great idea.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So, you know, we'll do what we do. So this is what I um What? By the time y'all hear this episode, this episode will carry you into Valentine's Day, and then we'll probably film the next episode on Valentine's Day, or maybe a little bit more. But anyway, I pray that you have the Valentine's Day that you deserve.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's good or bad. If you are an asshole, I pray you have the Valentine's Day you deserve.

SPEAKER_03:

My God.

SPEAKER_01:

What? I guess. I mean, because it be because what people need to start understanding is that your the way you live in your life has consequences. And so if your consequences is not equal to what you wanted, due to the fact that you, right, exact, due to the fact that it's because you were the reason you were not doing what you um were supposed to do. You were not being good to people and kind to people. I'm I'm hoping that everybody gets what they deserve.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and don't go out there ruining other people's Valentine's Day because you're not happy with yourself.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03:

So that's what I'm saying. So don't be ruining somebody else's. Like those little stories we did last week.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right. This is for love. Yeah. All right, Valentine's Day.

SPEAKER_03:

If you can't love the right way, don't love at all.

SPEAKER_01:

And if you don't have no one for Valentine's Day, take yourself out. Love yourself. Do things yourself. Don't be afraid to go out by yourself.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, love on you. Yes. Because you got to love yourself before anybody else will.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right. Because how I'm supposed to know if you don't know what feels good to you. How I supposed to know how to treat a queen if you don't know what a queen is supposed to be treated like.

SPEAKER_03:

That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, so hey.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm gonna get off my soapbox, and my wife is gonna decide what she wants for us to eat.

SPEAKER_03:

And I already know.

SPEAKER_01:

And that is good with me. So this has been the Refreshingly Normal podcast with your host, Kefla.

unknown:

And Craig.

SPEAKER_01:

And we will see you when we see you.

SPEAKER_03:

Happy Lover's Day.

SPEAKER_01:

Remember, wrap it up.

SPEAKER_00:

The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.