My Hair Was On Fire And We Still Had Therapy Talk

A bad day can start with one scroll, one comment, one “random” moment that hits your nervous system the wrong way. So we slow it down and talk about what actually helps: real coping skills, real self-care, and real boundaries that protect your peace when today’s social climate feels like it’s trying to pull you into anger, anxiety, and burnout.

We share what’s been going on in our week, from internship prep and background checks to the end-of-school-year emotions that come with change. We also unpack lessons from an LPC conference that stuck with us, including anticipatory grief and the importance of clear therapist-client boundaries. Grief, attraction, stress, and overwhelm are all part of the human experience, and ignoring them rarely makes them smaller. Naming them and planning for them does.

Then we get practical. We walk through coping tools you can use right now: getting off social media when it’s triggering you, gratitude and prayer, music that shifts your mood, venting with a trusted person, journaling, breathing techniques, and reframing your thoughts when they get stuck in the negative. We also push a simple challenge that can change your month: schedule joy on purpose, for yourself and with your partner, so you always have something healthy to look forward to.

You’ll also hear a few lighter moments, including a wild “hair on fire” story, a sweet classroom clip about a kindergartner realizing she’s African American, and our reactions to a disturbing news story that raises big questions about safety and accountability. If you’re building your mental health toolkit, start here, then share this with someone who needs a reset. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what are your top three coping skills?

Don't forget to Like, Comment, Share, and Subscribe.

Thank you for listening!

Transcript

Cold Open And Playful Banter

SPEAKER_01 0:03

The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

It's ready.

SPEAKER_06 0:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 0:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well oh yeah. Give me the baby the baby.

SPEAKER_05 0:31

That's too much.

SPEAKER_07 0:36

It almost sounded like somebody else at the beginning.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Who I sound like.

SPEAKER_07 0:41

Oh the Lord. Remember somebody? I don't remember. The same with their all, they whole soul that time.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_07 0:51

You too too.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

I don't remember. I don't remember. I I promise I don't.

SPEAKER_07 0:59

You do not remember the person that said they could sing.

SPEAKER_04 1:02

Oh steady rockin' all night. Steady. Rockin' to the breaker. Rockin' to the breaker down.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

You can't be the background and the lead at the same time. Well, I like that part. Okay, well. All right. Let's let's let's do this. Let's do it.

Meet The Hosts And Therapizing

SPEAKER_03 1:28

Welcome back, everyone. Thank you for tuning in to the Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_07 1:33

Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

I am Keith Love.

SPEAKER_07 1:36

I am Cree.

SPEAKER_03 1:37

And we are the hairs. The dynamic dual hairs.

SPEAKER_07 1:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

The podcasting hairs. Yeah. The educator hairs.

SPEAKER_07 1:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

The mental wellness hairs.

SPEAKER_04 1:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

Yes. That's who we are. All things. Alright, so um, let's get on it. Today we're gonna talk about a uh a few little things. We have a um a little therapy talk.

SPEAKER_04 2:04

Therapizing.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

Therapizing, man. Therapizing.

SPEAKER_07 2:08

And that's a real word.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

It is?

SPEAKER_07 2:10

I thought we were making it up.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

I was.

SPEAKER_07 2:12

When I was at the conference, this guy said he was presenting and he said, Were you therapized? Something about therapizing.

SPEAKER_03 2:18

We need to re- we need to research it. Okay. Because I say stuff.

SPEAKER_07 2:21

I know I say stuff too.

SPEAKER_03 2:22

And and I say stuff.

SPEAKER_07 2:24

But we say it to be funny.

SPEAKER_03 2:25

Yeah. And I ain't worried about whether somebody gets on, you know, in the comments and say, Oh my god, you said that wrong. You misspoke. Guess what? You mistook who you were speaking to.

SPEAKER_07 2:37

All right. Therapies. Therapise is a verb meaning to subject someone to therapy, particularly psychological therapy or counseling.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

You see how how my my brain works?

SPEAKER_07 2:51

Probably because you're doing all your studies. Maybe you heard it.

SPEAKER_03 2:53

I probably did.

SPEAKER_07 2:54

And didn't even realize it.

SPEAKER_03 2:55

That's the nerd in me.

SPEAKER_07 2:56

So guess what? I do be therapizing. At first I thought I thought I thought we were sounding kind of ignorant.

SPEAKER_03 3:07

I didn't.

SPEAKER_07 3:07

Not ignorant, but we were trying to be funny. But I was like, with somebody be like, what are they talking about? We don't want y'all to put us on a list with you know who.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

Who cares? Yeah. I I can go get my. Um I can go get my degree and show y'all.

SPEAKER_07 3:20

Uh-huh. I can get it.

SPEAKER_03 3:21

I can pull up my transcripts. I can pull up my official and unofficial.

SPEAKER_07 3:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:26

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I got.

SPEAKER_07 3:28

But I will have to disagree with the people that said everybody has a picture in their cap and gown. Because I will say, I did not go to the ceremony for my master's, and I did not go to the ceremony for my specialist degree. So I don't have pictures of that, but I do have the official documentation. That's right. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

That's right. Yeah. I'm going to everyone. Every stage. I'm crossing everyone.

SPEAKER_07 3:54

I didn't. I was okay with not doing it.

SPEAKER_03 3:56

I'm crossing.

SPEAKER_07 3:57

Now I think about it in the way that you emphasize it, I was like, maybe I should have gone.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

But somebody almost tried to have me not go to my doctorate. Do you need to go? Yes, I need to go. Oh, we was at odds. I was going. Whether or not you was going or not, I was going.

SPEAKER_07 4:14

We were at odds because I was really trying to think financially all the things. But shout out to um my friend Coletha, who always.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

Koli always been in my corner, man. Well, it's not a good thing. Well, honestly, always been in my corner.

SPEAKER_07 4:29

Yes. Even not, it's not even about a corner for Kaule. Yeah. Colleet is just what's right is right, what's wrong is wrong. It doesn't matter. She's just going to say how she feels. So she's very, for anybody, if you ever want a neutral friend who's going to tell you like it is or tell you the truth, Colit is that girl.

SPEAKER_03 4:47

Yeah. So and she don't do it in a harsh way. You're not telling me, well, I'm just telling you the truth. No. She she speaks truth to you. Yeah. You know, in regards to your feelings.

SPEAKER_07 4:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:57

You know, knowing that, but you still need to hear the truth.

SPEAKER_07 4:59

Yep. So I appreciate that about her. Anytime I want somebody that if I'm feeling like maybe I'm maybe am not thinking, I always call her and say, okay, tell me what you think, Koli. And she because I know she's going to give me the real.

SPEAKER_03 5:14

Give it the real. Yeah, that's what makes her a good ad man, too. You know what I'm saying? Some people don't like it.

SPEAKER_07 5:20

Yes. Because she's gonna be fair.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_07 5:22

She's gonna be fair. And some people don't like that. They want you to tell them they're right when they're wrong.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

Yeah. Shout out, shout out to Koli.

SPEAKER_07 5:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

Yeah, we we uh some of my bros in the um black and gold understand what it means when somebody says hard, but it's fair.

SPEAKER_08 5:37

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

A lot of us, what the older ones should. A lot of new ones, I don't know. Yeah. You know.

SPEAKER_07 5:44

That's just in general.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

I'm just saying they don't, you know. Oh, gosh. No, it's hard but fair. I'm just saying that. Yeah. It's hard but fair. All right, so let's uh let's do a little therapy

Weekly Recap Internship Prep And Finals

SPEAKER_03 5:56

talk, man. Um first of all, personally.

SPEAKER_05 5:58

We didn't recap our week.

SPEAKER_03 5:59

Oh, okay, okay. Oh, that's right. I'm just so excited because that's what I'm kind of nervous.

SPEAKER_07 6:04

What are you nervous about?

SPEAKER_03 6:05

Because my th my uh intern is coming up. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 6:07

Well then that's your weekly recap. Talk about it. You've been doing stuff all week, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

No, okay, so my weekly recap.

SPEAKER_07 6:13

Weekly, weekly.

SPEAKER_05 6:14

Weekly recap.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

Three drug tests this week.

SPEAKER_05 6:18

Oh, God.

SPEAKER_03 6:19

That should be my side. That's gonna be my side eye. Okay, yeah. I got two sides. All right, but anyway, I had to take the drug test because um for my internship.

SPEAKER_07 6:29

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

And then the other one, I'll tell y'all about that one later. But not because hairs on drugs. You know.

SPEAKER_07 6:35

I mean, he has been doing all those stories about everybody cocaine sharks. Cocaine sharks and some of the people come in here and rhinoceros.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

If people see my plant base, I put the uh that seven plant powder to make sure like no uh the water gnats don't get on there. So they'll be like, What are you doing over there? We got cocaine in the plants. Cocaine in the plants, cocaine sharks, cocaine hippos.

SPEAKER_07 6:59

Cocaine plants?

SPEAKER_03 7:00

We gotta watch him. Let's give him a drug test. But uh, yeah, so my weekly recap was pretty much uh preparing, you know, for um my practicum first. Then my internship starts in the fall. But I had to take a drug test. I had to um fill out yesterday I had to fill out the information for the background screening.

SPEAKER_08 7:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 7:22

And then they sent me an email asking me to submit them my transcripts that I do have. They asked for my bachelor's too, but I'm like, you know, should I?

SPEAKER_07 7:33

Because sometimes there's certain classes on there that can go. But I'm like Because when you do your LAPC, when you apply for that, you'll there may be a class on there that you can be able to use.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

They're gonna Especially with all your health code. But that's what I said. They should ask for all of them.

SPEAKER_07 7:49

Who?

SPEAKER_03 7:49

But I guess they they think in most times in the master's program, they're thinking most people ain't going back from something else. Yeah. So they only ask for the bachelor's. Because I'm like, my my um psychology has some stuff.

SPEAKER_07 7:59

Oh, because they probably don't realize you ha have all that you're gonna do.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

Yeah, but I mean, I say it makes sense because the next level from is you know the bachelor's is a master's.

SPEAKER_07 8:07

And so they don't think you have a master's.

SPEAKER_03 8:08

Yeah, so I'm gonna have to send those, and and I think the hardest one to get, like last time, was Alabama State. Unfortunately, the hardest one to get is that one. The other ones, they are already on the online system, so I'll be able to send those to them. And once I give them that, yeah, and then I gotta take next Saturday, um, I'm taking the uh, if they let me switch my uh classes, I'm taking the uh CPR thing. Okay, have to do that too. And then I have all my paperwork in and I just start the training the 15th of June.

SPEAKER_07 8:37

So next Saturday when Noli's um graduation is?

SPEAKER_03 8:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 8:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

But it's it's from 9 to 2.

SPEAKER_07 8:43

Well, we can't go to the graduation.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

Yeah, what I'm saying, it's 9 to 2, so whatever it's afterwards should be. But is this graduation daytime or nighttime?

SPEAKER_07 8:49

I don't know. We'll have to look it up.

SPEAKER_03 8:50

All right. But that was it, and then the other thing was um prepping these kids. So all week at school, we've been doing reviews, you know, for uh final week next week. So everybody's been doing it.

SPEAKER_08 9:01

Finals are next week?

SPEAKER_03 9:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 9:02

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 9:03

Senior finals was Monday and Tuesdays. Okay. But the rest of the school, their finals are Tuesday and Wednesday.

unknown 9:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

But it's half a day. Uh Monday, half a day, Tuesday, half a day, Wednesday. Okay. Yep. And so that's what I've been prepping myself for uh for uh leaving the school, really, you know, mentally. Saying, you know, a lot of kids have been seeing me, you know, saying they sad that I'm leaving. A lot of my seniors, of course, they already know I'm leaving, but they say, Oh, I hate that you're not gonna be here. You know, the kids don't get to experience what I got to experience with you or stuff like that. Um so you know, that's cool. I I felt I felt seen.

SPEAKER_06 9:37

Oh, you felt loved. Yeah, I felt loved.

SPEAKER_03 9:40

Um, some of my little girls was crying. My seniors, when they saw me, they was crying. Say, you're gonna see me at graduation, so you're gonna cry again?

SPEAKER_07 9:46

Yes. I know they did.

SPEAKER_03 9:49

Um so that was pretty much my week.

SPEAKER_07 9:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

I think, yeah, that

LPC Conference Lessons That Stick

SPEAKER_03 9:55

was it.

SPEAKER_07 9:55

Well, for my week, I went to a conference. I'm trying to think about what did I do at work prior to that, but we won't worry about it. Um, I'm not sure what did you order stuff?

SPEAKER_03 10:06

Were y'all trying to get your year in order? You had a you had a uh um, I had a restorative conference. No, but you had a didn't you have a sources something?

SPEAKER_07 10:16

Oh, yeah. Monday, yeah, we had a great building bracelets. Yeah, sources uh wellness fair, sources of strength wellness fair at one at a middle school. And so we did a table where it's like the little letters that are cubes that they can make bracelets with. So to make um bracelets with strengths or people, important people. So it was a lot of them that said mom, some of them did their brother or sister's name. Um one put long live dad. And so um they had a chance to come and make bracelets. So we helped them like find the letters and um we always run out of vowels, and so I was making V's into A's using a uh uh a Sharpie with the with the fine tip. Fine tip Sharpie to make V's into A's, F's into E's, and uh You said something about something into something I made to I T's into I's so just so they could have all their letters. So we that was the entire day from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. We were doing that with the middle schoolers, but it was a good time. Kids were so respectful, so sweet. Um, yeah, they were they were amazing.

SPEAKER_03 11:30

That's a good a good uh activity for them during that week because it can get kind of like okay, because everybody else is shutting down.

SPEAKER_07 11:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

And and so what are we gonna do? Yeah. But that's real good.

SPEAKER_07 11:42

Yeah, so that was good. We did that, and then I spent um Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday at an LPC conference. It's the Georgia LPC organization. Um, and they have it every other year in Atlanta. Um, next year they're having it it in Savannah. Um, but anywho went there. Um, as always, at conferences, there you choose your things, and there are some that are great, and some that you're like, what the way?

SPEAKER_02 12:08

Wait. New speakers, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 12:09

Yeah, so I really enjoyed um my top three um was anticipatory grief. I loved that workshop. That was really good. Um, I also loved um the one about intimacy boundary setting um as a therapist with your clients. That one was really good. The guy was a great uh speaker, and that was the first time he had done a large group. He says normally it's like a small setting or one-on-one. Um, but he did an excellent job.

SPEAKER_03 12:40

Did you get pointers for your presentation when you got to do in uh for what? A week, two weeks.

SPEAKER_07 12:45

What am I doing, huh?

SPEAKER_03 12:46

At the conference. Aren't y'all presenting at this conference? Yeah, but um I mean, did you get like, you know, just pay attention?

SPEAKER_07 12:53

Okay, I don't know if I'm biased, guys, but I really was like You're better than them?

SPEAKER_03 12:58

Yeah. I know, but still, like when I'm like when I go to something that I do, or I'm prepping to do, I watch, even I I just watch the flow. I watch the crowd to know what are people doing.

SPEAKER_07 13:10

Yeah, because he may not even be what I liked about the guy that did the intimacy, like I'm not a stand behind a podium, read from a paper kind of presenter. I like to move about. Yeah, I don't want to rely on a paper to read from. Um, and I like to kind of gauge what I'm gonna say as I look at how the crowd is responding. Um, I guess that's kind of improv a little bit in some things, because if they aren't feeling a certain thing and you say you notice it, then I'm not gonna go on and talk about that. Let me move and say something else.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

Yeah. Um when you know the material, you can do that.

SPEAKER_07 13:44

You can yeah. So the guy that did the boundary, he knew the stuff. Um and he didn't have a paper in front of him. He did an excellent job. So, as in regards to presenting, that was him. The what I loved about the anticipatory grief session was the lady that presented, her best friend is terminally ill right now. She had lung cancer, she wasn't a smoker. Um, they got it out of her lung, but then moved to her brain. Um, and so she just had brain surgery maybe uh a month or so ago. Um, and so as she was talking about about it, um the the presenter would talk in regards from the therap therapist point of view, but then the her best friend would talk from a client point of view, like what impacted her life. Oh, so her best friend was presenting also with So she was sitting down because she could, I mean, because I think for bra her brain thinks she was she sat in a chair up there because that really was a neat experience to see. And then even for her, like you, you we automatically seen people that are terminally ill that they um their that their grief would be um super, I I'm gonna say like they're gonna be sad, they're gonna be like, what am I gonna do? But she she has got, I don't know if it's through her therapy, like she's gotten to this point, and I'm sure she probably said that. But at this point, she's like doing all of the things to celebrate her life right now. She's planned her funeral. She picked this, she says, I picked this amazing black woman priest that's gonna do my um her her funeral. And um, she said she wrote a list of people that her partner that he is allowed to date when she's gone. And like she did all of the, you know, so it was just um, and then the things that they had done together. So they did these special friendship bracelets. Um they're making um, she she wrote for her parents every day, every yeah, every day last year, she wrote them a question to answer.

SPEAKER_08 15:56

Oh man.

SPEAKER_07 15:57

And so now that they're done, she's getting she's giving them the book next week that put it all together. So it's just amazing, you know? But the things that she did, like she's gonna be able to live on in such an amazing way. But just how do you help? And so I loved it because I thought if I ever had a client that was terminally ill and I was helping them through that, just being able to get them to a point where they could be where she is, um, yeah, it was pretty it was pretty awesome. And then another session that was like my other was a lady that was from South Africa, she's a therapist, and she was just talking about um certain survival um survival. Oh gosh, now I lost the word, but just the way that people survive, there's different things. Um, and it was tactics, not techniques, techniques, kind of like survival techniques, strategies, methods, methods, methods, yeah, and they were categorized, but like um one was migrate, one was I can't think of them by colors like blue, but anyways, it's a theory, and the theory is something that she brought from South Africa because she was explaining it, and it seems so awesome because it really is like tool, the toll. I'm sorry, the toll is the final result, which means the cost. So, whatever the client, the trauma, what's the cost of the trauma, meaning what are they left with now? What what are they isolated? Are they um are they um um I'm thinking of my one client that I have that just is always exhausted. Um, so what are they left with from their trauma? So you work from the that upward in order to support them. So like um I asked her more because it was so it was really interesting. Seems like great work that you could do with uh with a with a client, but the actual workshop, because she was an hour and a half presenter, um, there it's in South Africa. They do do it virtually, but their virtual classes like um live are on Oh, yeah, I remember saying it.

SPEAKER_03 18:09

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 18:10

They're on South African.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

Yeah, I forgot how many hours it was.

SPEAKER_07 18:13

Yeah, so she said it'd be like 3 a.m. for us, but they do have self-guided. I'm not a good self-guided person, but I would love to learn, but I liked I would love to learn more in person with that. It was very interesting. So, anyways, um, other than that, it was great. Um, it was a great conference and um um lots of therapists. I love to see a lot of us. It was a lot of us there that are therapists there.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

Yeah, we need to be back in, we need not back in it, but we need to have more of us involved into the counseling realm.

SPEAKER_07 18:49

Yeah, lots of us there. And um, even people from small towns in Georgia where they're like in their like little city, there's like two therapists.

SPEAKER_03 18:57

Oh, you know they're gonna come. They love a conference. Those small town people love a conference.

SPEAKER_07 19:02

So I thought that seems so interesting too, like to be like how the client to therapist, like there's gonna be an overlap because you're in a small town.

SPEAKER_03 19:14

We spoke about that in one of my in my code of ethics class, on how um boundaries cross quite often when you're in a small town. You know what I mean? You're gonna see them at a club, you're gonna see them, you may even at their grocery store. You may even be their therapist and all of a sudden you wind out that they're dating somebody related closely to you.

SPEAKER_04 19:35

Uh huh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

You know, is it's just a you know fact of the matter. But um, they said the ethics board understands that because of the proximity of you know of people there. So um But it's as long as you're professional and can handle it, you know, it should be a big deal.

SPEAKER_07 19:51

The one I had with uh the relationship boundary setting, um, he said that uh 70% of therapists have been attracted to their clients.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

I could see that. I mean it's almost and kind of like when I mean it's flipping it, but you know how what's it called Stockholm Syndrome, when somebody's kidnapped or something, then they start developing feelings for their uh capture. Oh, yeah, you know, or they're uh the um person that's being uh aggressive towards them in a in an abusive, not even just an abusive relationship, but like a it can be a friendship, and all of a sudden they kind of develop feelings and sympathy, not empathy for them, I guess I should say. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 20:32

And they're like if you feel like a client is thinking more than um just the client, the therapist relationship, like they said, oftentimes people will try to ignore it, and that is the wrong thing to do. Like you need to say, hey, I don't know if you are confused or thinking that this can be more than that, but it can be nothing, you know. But being not to ignore it, but to attract it.

SPEAKER_03 20:55

Yeah, you definitely, yeah, they they said that in the book too. You definitely gotta address it.

SPEAKER_07 20:59

It'll go into something that then you're into deep. And that person is like in love.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

Yeah, also the the the client would also prolong their healing to stay with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, yeah. Oh, I didn't get a chance to do my homework, but I try, you know. Okay, we've got to keep going.

SPEAKER_07 21:18

And they do. I'll I give homework and nobody, I mean, I try to make it very easy, simple.

SPEAKER_03 21:26

They gotta do the work. They gotta understand in life you gotta do the work. We done turned this into the therapy time. Okay, sorry.

SPEAKER_04 21:31

Go back to the weekly uh fire. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Boom, boom, boom, boom, fire, boom, boom, boom, boom.

The Night Her Hair Caught Fire

SPEAKER_07 21:43

And what? All right, I was on fire, y'all. On fire. So I forgot to share this last week during Kimani's graduation celebration. You should let it burn when you finish. So at the end of the night, I was cleaning up the kitchen. And we had a candle lit in the middle of the island, and I'm wiping the island. And all of a sudden I hear somebody say, Stop! Don't move. And I was like, What? You on fire? I said, Oh. And my little niece, Lily, she's grown. I say little niece, but she's grown. Deja leaves me. She runs upstairs.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

Okay. Hey, for all our age, right here, right? For, well, I'm a little older than this one. But listen, if you remember any time on the Cosby show when Peter was at the Cosby's and somebody got in trouble or something, what happened? Peter would always take off, the little chubby white kid. Peter would always dip out. That's exactly what Daisy did. As soon as I told Cree, stop, don't move, your hair's off her. When she saw that she took off. Well, she didn't, she thought it was a bug for her. But I said, stop, don't move. She saw me just kind of get frantic. She took off and ran.

SPEAKER_07 22:54

And I was like, Daisy. She's like, and I didn't know what it was. I thought maybe there was a bug. And I knew. Like, if it was a bug, I was out of there too. And she left me, but my hair was on a fire. And the whole downstairs smelled like burnt. I mean, it was it was like It was this hair, but it was like breaking apart.

SPEAKER_03 23:16

Like that's where the flame had got. It said, whoop. And then it started doing that. And I went and she like and I went over there and saved my baby.

SPEAKER_06 23:24

He saved me. Save her from burning. But then it was like, stop. Don't move. I was like, what?

SPEAKER_03 23:29

Because if she would have ran, that thing would have boomed. She would have been on fire for real.

SPEAKER_07 23:37

Then I know. The next day, we when everybody's over for wings and celebrating Keemani after we left the winery. My brother-in-law, he asked my brother-in-law to bring him out of the drawer, our drawer that has the torches the lighter. He said, Hey, Boog, bring me the lighter outside for the grill. I don't know what he was doing, but he started fiddle faddling with Keemani's um cooking burner.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

Cooking burner, the torch. That you do like uh creme brulee.

SPEAKER_07 24:08

So whenever he started fooling with Keemani's creme brulee thing, but then didn't realize he had to click it to turn it off. I think he thought he'd just be done to turn it off. John, all the papers in the drawer was on fire.

SPEAKER_03 24:18

What the bake in the drawer, close the drawer.

SPEAKER_07 24:20

We was like, I said, what are you doing? You supposed to be taking the lighter. Why are you playing with the uh kitchen lighter thing?

SPEAKER_03 24:28

Every time we have a uh plethora of people at my crib, something happens.

SPEAKER_07 24:34

Remember the time when the kids knocked the pictures all down off the wall here?

SPEAKER_03 24:38

Yep.

SPEAKER_07 24:39

It's something always something.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

But when we was here, it was at Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_07 24:44

Oh, the we set the oven on fire.

SPEAKER_03 24:45

Yep.

SPEAKER_07 24:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:46

Yep. Set the oven on fire. Trying to clean the oven before we cooked for Thanksgiving and then had the flames on. The fume the whole house. Me and Papa came back from somewhere.

SPEAKER_07 24:58

Y'all went to Walmart, and so we was like trying to clean the oven because granny had baked a cake and it over. It spilled over. It spilled over. So we were trying to clean the oven, but it was a lot of spillover. We didn't like take the extra out. So we just turned on the self-cleaning. So the house got real smoky. So we were like, well, we were just outside on the patio, just talking, chit-chatting. Kids upstairs. They have not said anything about the house being smoky. They came back and was like, whoop, what is going on? Nigga pop again. Whoop is going up. What you gonna do with?

SPEAKER_03 25:36

It was smoke. I'm talking, we opened the front door. It's like smoke came out of the front door.

SPEAKER_07 25:41

And we was like, what? What's going on?

SPEAKER_03 25:43

Yeah, they all out there on the patio. I said, Boy.

SPEAKER_07 25:46

Oh, nigga won as well. Yeah. So anywho, we had that was my fire child. My hair was on fire.

SPEAKER_03 25:54

On fire.

Coping Skills For A Triggering Climate

SPEAKER_03 25:55

All right. So let's get started therapizing.

SPEAKER_07 25:57

Okay, let's get back to therapizing. The one thing I wanted to talk about this time was um, I'm just noticing, and specifically like with my clients, but I think in general with people, because um people are just not managing feelings, emotions well.

SPEAKER_08 26:15

That's right.

SPEAKER_07 26:16

Um, and so I really want to talk about like coping. Like, how do we cope today in today's climate, which is very triggering? Yeah um so how do you cope so that the climate doesn't get the best of you, that you show up in a way that you wouldn't show up, um, but also just to to take care of your mental health. Um, so I just really want to talk about the importance of having some coping skills. And I remember for the boys when they were in college and I would talk to them, I'd say, okay, give me your top three coping skills, and they look at me. I go, No, I'm serious. Like, what do you do to cope when it gets when um things get challenging? Because life does get challenging. There are things that impact us, and we can't just not do anything. Yeah. Um, so what do we do to cope? So, what are your um top three coping skills? What do you use to cope?

SPEAKER_03 27:18

Um, one thing I do, uh it depends on what the situation is.

SPEAKER_08 27:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 27:23

You know, when you're talking about today's social climate, um I I one, I I get off of social media. You know, because it's it's after every scroll. Because it's something you'd be like, I can't believe, and you look at it and you get more upset, and you're like, I I knew it, but why did I read it? Um so when it comes to that, I just if it's social media stuff, you know, I just leave it alone. Um one thing that never fails for me is finding something good to listen to. You know, good music. Um but like I said, it just depends on on what it is, you know. Um, but when it the social climate, that's the only thing that that really allows me to be triggered is when I'm on social media. Because we don't really watch the news much.

SPEAKER_05 28:11

No, we don't.

SPEAKER_03 28:12

Um You know, I I'm not out in the public to the point where I'm not put I'm not in the public space where it's in my face, somebody's pointing it, you know, and saying it. Yes, I do see it demonstrated in some ways, and sometimes I think it it may be my own uh You're already um lift. Yeah, I'm trying to say, did they do that because I'm black? Did they do this because I'm black?

SPEAKER_07 28:34

I do fine, I do that too.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

You know what I mean? Um little stuff like that. Uh you know, for prime examples, I have a Jeep. And there's a lot of Jeeps in our area. And I can definitely tell you the Jeep wave has gone down a lot.

SPEAKER_07 28:48

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

A whole lot.

SPEAKER_07 28:49

I noticed that when I drove your Jeep.

SPEAKER_03 28:51

You see what I'm saying? And before, I'm I'm not gonna lie to y'all, before the Jeep wave was up, wow, wow, wow, everywhere you go right here. Now, I mean, literally, like it's it's down. Like, you know, so it's little stuff, so I'm like, they do that because I'm black in my Jeep. And other little things like uh you you know, you see stuff, uh people purposely cutting you off, purposely not doing little stuff in traffic, and you wonder, you know, but hey, I can't help but the wonder. I grew up in this, in a, in a uh in racism. I ain't even gonna lie, screw it. From Alabama. Yeah, I'm from, you know, in the deep, the deep south. So a lot of this stuff don't surprise me.

SPEAKER_08 29:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:32

Um, I see it already, you know, um hoping in in tomorrow, no, they gonna be who they gonna be. They always been that way. Um and so it's uh I just really try to turn it off. And um I think one of the main things, because you know, back in the day when I was young, I I would have cussed somebody out and be ready to throw some knuckles, whatever. But now I have a lot more to lose. Um I just kind of just not appropriate. Yeah, it ain't appropriate, but you know what I'm saying? It's like um it's it's just I just try to turn it off and I and I and I think about all the other good things. Because I've in my almost 52 years, I've had a lot of great times that I can reflect to immediately and laugh at.

SPEAKER_08 30:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

But um, yeah, that's what when social climate. And the other thing we'll talk about later, you know, when you said what does self-care look like? We'll talk about that. That's kind of like a coping thing to me. But we'll talk about that when you get to that point.

SPEAKER_07 30:34

Yeah, self-care is that.

SPEAKER_03 30:35

What do you do?

SPEAKER_07 30:36

I think for me, um, I like to vent, which you know. Yeah, venting helps me to cope and kind of talk through things. So I enjoy good venting session because you can kind of just get it out of your thoughts.

SPEAKER_08 30:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 30:49

Um, I am good at like my mama always sends me political things. And I I I oftentimes don't even open it because once I see what's on it, once I look at the first picture, I go, yeah. Not putting that into my, you know. So that's also like to me, boundary setting. Yeah. I'm big on boundary setting. I think that's a way to cope, knowing what things upset you, and then um putting that boundary there for that. And then um I also um I like practicing gratitude. And I think I do that through prayer in the morning. So every morning before I even start my day, I think that is a coping strategy for me. Um, and it's always more of a prayer of thanks um because then I'm starting my day with the gratitude. And I also think the way that we start our day with the radio station, well, I will say, even with I love Ricky Smiley and we listen to Ricky Smiley and um Breakfast Club intertwined, but in the morning, I try to make sure that I get up for the praise thing. Um so there's a pastor that will pray and then the music. And so even if like I'm doing my exercise in the morning, um, I try to make it, try to make it in time enough so that when it gets to uh six, um, it's my stretch time, but I'll turn my stretch stuff down and play that. So um just to kind of have that way of starting my day with something more positive at the start of the day. So whatever I meet throughout the day, hopefully it can count.

SPEAKER_03 32:33

You're already armored. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You already got your it's like it's like going outside ready for the weather. You already got your umbrella, you got your bug spray, you already got that stuff. So when you get out into you, oh I already put this stuff on it.

SPEAKER_07 32:46

Well, and that's kind of like what I told one of my clients that um there is a certain thing that happens in their life that is going to cause them some strife.

SPEAKER_08 32:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 32:57

And so we talked through and I said, Well, did you did you practice some of those things? And I'm telling them to like you need to practice them prior to. Right. Um, so that is, I said, it's you know, I said, it's like a hurricane and you are boarding, like how people board their homes before the hurricane.

SPEAKER_08 33:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 33:18

That is exactly what it means when you practice your coping strategies beforehand and you feel yourself up, then that's like you putting the boards up for that hurricane so that you are armored and protected, and so that whatever comes, maybe when that specific person comes that time, it does like maybe they just happen to be great. So well, you get you can go, oh well, listen, I'm even happier. Like I can take the joy I already created for myself, and then this was good. Like now I'm super mad, you know, super um happy or super, you know. But then if it don't, if that person comes and it is the hurricane, they come as the hurricane, you're already prepared um for it. So I think people don't realize it. What I love about my role as a wellness specialist, like when we go to schools and I'm like, like that sources of strength, we tell them to tap into their strengths. So we're teaching them like what are the who are your strengths?

SPEAKER_03 34:15

That's what I'm about to say, and some people don't know what their strengths are.

SPEAKER_07 34:18

No, well, the wheel, like they have the wheel. And so the wheel is like, who are your people? And okay, you can say, well, I don't really have because there are some people that say they don't have any people. Okay, well, what are the healthy activities? What are the things you like to do? Um, those are things. If you like to to um um a good Chick-fil-A meal, it brings you a little bit of joy. Well, in moderation, maybe you say today, I need my Chick-fil-A meal today, and that's gonna help me to feel better. Um, we talk about um what are the um physical activities? Well, what are some of the things that you like to do? Is it yoga? Is it going for a run? Is it take calling a friend and saying, hey, you want to go out a go on a walk to the park today? Like, what are those things that you're able um to do that are part, and those are they're your strengths, and the reason they are your strengths is because they help you to feel stronger in challenging times. So knowing those things, they're not difficult things, and so that kind of leads into like self-care because people oftentimes I think self-care has become a word where people are like that's just the buzzword.

Self-Care Means Scheduling Joy

SPEAKER_07 35:30

Um, but self-care is essentially coping skills, and they're coping tools or strategies or things that help you um to just take care of your mental health, your mental wellness, that what refuels you. So, something I think is like super important for everybody is like on purpose, and you start light, like don't make it too hard, but on your calendar for like we're getting ready to get into June, or you can do it for the rest of May, schedule joy. So, what is the a thing that brings you joy? And with some of us being so busy working, trying to do all the things to pay for all the things, what is the joy thing? You might put, okay, on May 28th after work, I don't have anything to do, and I have not had a Dairy Queen blizzard in a long time. I'm gonna go and I might just sit in Dairy Queen and eat it by myself. Maybe I listen to one of my favorite podcasts and by myself with my podcast. That's my joy activity. And so it's nothing that is very expensive, yeah, but it is your schedule and it gives you something to look forward to. Maybe you schedule with your friends or your best friend, like, hey, look, can we do the 31st of May um after work? Just meet up and have a couple of glasses of wine, whatever that may be, but scheduling joy on purpose, not waiting for somebody to invite you to joy, but you scheduling joy for yourself.

SPEAKER_03 37:02

So, what are some of your um immediate self-care things you can do for yourself? And maybe one or two thoughtfully planned out things that you like. I you may not do it all the time, but it's like if I could, you know, this is definitely something I would want to do as a self-care. Because there's sometimes people have that one self-care thing that they do once a year.

SPEAKER_04 37:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:27

You know, so what is what are like maybe three things that you can immediately do for yourself that you like, not for anybody else, but that you like, and then that one big thing that you like to do.

SPEAKER_07 37:35

I will say for me, my man, my manicure and pedicure, because I really like my um my nail lady, and just talking to her is like a good conversation joy. So I enjoy that. Um, the one thing that we haven't done, but I really, really enjoyed it was the candle making. So that would be something I think I'd try to fit in, not all you know, all the time, but something to to go do something like that. Like they even have the perfume making too.

SPEAKER_03 38:05

Yeah, they got that at parts, I think.

SPEAKER_07 38:08

I think that that would be nice. If I had to think of something that didn't cost um money, um, I think for me, uh well, didn't cost a lot of money because things cost. Um, but for me, I don't mind coming and getting my getting some good snacks and a glass of wine and watching a good uh uh rom com. Um that brings me um joy, just that time to to just sit and do that. And most of all is um having a slow start to a morning. Okay. That that is self-care for me because that uh that just helps me just to feel less anxious and more relaxed. What about you?

SPEAKER_03 39:01

Um, my immediates. One thing, I mean, I actually like uh quiet uh solitude moments. Me too. You know, moments of solidarity, I guess you should say.

SPEAKER_08 39:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:16

Uh and that could be anything from like just driving, um, riding a motorcycle, or just, you know, sometimes like when if I get here before you are here and I just sit and you like, ain't the TV ain't on, and and I might not even be on my phone, I just maybe just sitting there. Or I'm on my phone, I'm not even scrolling, I'm just like like I don't know, just something just looking at the phone, you know, just flipping through this. What is this app for? You know, just a moment of silence. Um you know, because it's so many things in my ear all day when you're in schools. And it's just and you're you're you're pulled by so many different people. And you know, kids, you know, especially when you was teaching elementary, you know how Oh, Miss Herbert, look at me. Watch what I can do, you know, you're like, okay, babe, okay, you know, so it's like I just want a moment where I'm not pulled. Like, you know, I feel like a uh stretch armstone now. I'm just trying to come back to myself. Um that's one thing. The other thing for me, um, you know, in immediate uh is is listening to some good music. Um uh and I would say another thing that gives me um for self-care is trying something that I have, like the DJing equipment, the guitar, um you know, uh playing around with some of the uh technology stuff I have, doing that stuff, even though I'm not mastering it, or even like doing yoga, you know, like just doing something that I haven't done, just to know that I did it, gives me self-care to know that I can do it. It kind of motivates me to know, okay, just move forward. It energizes me a little bit. And then the other thing, real quick, is uh about like you know, instant is self-care for me is physical touch from you. Like just it it it makes me feel like I'm seen, I'm important, I'm necessary, I'm in I'm I'm desired or anything. You know what I mean? Sometimes I get into a a point where I do so much for folks that I feel like I'm a tool more so than a person? Yeah, no, no, I'm not saying, but it's just I'm um appreciated. But even more so appreciated because it just seemed like I'm just uh and I know I'm I'm purposeful doing things and I don't do things for the gratitude, but sometimes it feels like it's just like it feels like uh it's like I'm a I'm an eraser on a pencil. You know what I mean? It's what what I mean by that is that uh okay, I'm using you, but you know, I appreciate you for erasing my things, but that's it. You see what I'm saying? It's like, okay, what can I get from you? Not that I hate the eraser, yeah. It's just that that's it. You're just there for me for now. And so sometimes I just wanna I wanna be around someone that desire to be around me. Yeah, I want to speak to someone that desire, that seeks out me, that seeks me out to speak to me. And that's what it feels like sometimes, you know. We we get, you know, we're not seen. And and but that's that's his historically for black men. Remember that episode they was like, why do you fix his plate? It's because he's been doing so much for everyone else. And I when my man comes in the house, I want him to feel like he's important somewhere. You know what I mean? That's that's the thing, like it it just so sometimes when you come, you just sit and you know, things like that, and you lay your head or whatever, it just makes me feel you know, better. Now, the the long-term self-care, or not long-term, the big self-care is taking a a trip that's not necessarily excursion field. Yeah, but it's the mo it's moments of like when we went to Jamaica, I could have been pleased not going anywhere, doing no excursions, just sitting on the beach, drinking, you know, our little whatever we was drinking that one drink of, eating our um uh jerk chicken from the jerk chicken and a trip that I know that's going to be filled with just some salt water, yeah, some new sights, laughter and intimacy. That's true self-care for that year for me. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_07 43:40

That's true. I feel like I need that every year. And if I don't get it, I feel I do feel like something's missing.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

Yeah, I feel like I feel like that whole year was like, what I work for.

SPEAKER_07 43:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

You know what I mean? Even if I bought stuff around the house, I'll be like, no, but what did I really work for? I'm working for these trips.

SPEAKER_08 43:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:56

You know? So that's me. Um One thing too, you said that like people are afraid of self-care or or they're they're tired of self-care.

SPEAKER_07 44:06

Yeah, they think of it as just like a buzzword.

SPEAKER_03 44:08

Yeah. But and you know, I say this all the time. It's like we we provide care for everything that we own.

SPEAKER_07 44:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:16

We have warranties for our appliances, we we do um 3,000 mile oil changes, you know. We have people come and and check your HVAC system, making sure they're right twice a year. But when it comes to us, we don't take the time. We think that our health is negotiable.

SPEAKER_07 44:41

Yeah. I also think that people also depend so much on other people to make them happy.

SPEAKER_08 44:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 44:47

And um, so when things aren't when things feel like hard, um, you don't feel cared about, that's the purpose of self-care. Yeah. Because you are in charge of your own happiness and your own joy. Um, we can't depend upon other people to do that for us.

SPEAKER_08 45:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 45:08

Um, I think that's just an extra to go with it. Um, hopefully you married someone that would do things too, but also it's not completely their responsibility to make you happy.

SPEAKER_03 45:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 45:23

You have to do some of those things for yourself, which is what self-care is.

SPEAKER_03 45:26

But also, you may need self-care out of the blue. You may say, you may come home, or I may come home like, hey, where you at? I went to the nail salon. Didn't you get your nails and lap? Listen, I just I needed to go. You know what I mean? You just may needed it at that moment. And and I think with that being said, sometimes people won't do it because they're afraid of what the other person may say or what the crowd or group or whoever they're trying to please may say. Yeah. And they may feel like they are being selfish. Yeah. Well, you didn't ask if if if everything was okay with me. Well, that's why it's self-care. You know what I mean? It's similar to a dream. I don't know nothing about your dream, and I can't um dictate what you dream about.

SPEAKER_08 46:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:08

And I shouldn't be mad at it because it's your dream. So when it's time for me to have some self-care, if I feel like I need it, you know, as long as I'm not like snatching money out of the account where we can't eat because I'm trying to do X, Y, Z. But if I feel like there's something that my body needs to perform better, to prove to present myself better to my family, a reasonable human being on the outside would be like, Go do what you need to do. Yeah. Take care of it. Because I want the best version of you always in front of me.

SPEAKER_08 46:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:38

And a lot of people don't do it because there are people who will say, like, well, what about the rest of us?

SPEAKER_07 46:44

Yeah. Well, I needed to, well then go do.

SPEAKER_03 46:46

Right, exactly. Well, I'm, you know what I'm gonna do? And then they'd be like, Well, go. I don't know what I'm gonna do for self-they don't. They don't.

SPEAKER_07 46:53

And and and it's kind of like the phrase, self-care is selfish. Isn't selfish. I'm sorry. Self-care isn't selfish, and it isn't.

SPEAKER_03 47:02

Um but to the um misunderstood, they they will say it is.

SPEAKER_07 47:07

And I think that also comes down to communication too. Um being able to communicate that need and helping somebody to kind of understand that and helping them figure out what they can do for themselves. Yeah. If they can't figure it out, helping them to see that. And I think it's important not only in your calendar to put, like I said, joy, a joy activity for you, but if you're married or have a partner or whatever that is, y'all should schedule joy together too. So you can have your individual joy scheduled, and then you can have your joy together so that when that day you have that challenge and moment, you can say, oh, today was tough. Oh, I can't wait till May 28th, because we are going to try out that new restaurant, and it just gives you something to look forward to that you know is gonna be fun and enjoyable to do.

SPEAKER_03 47:56

Like today. I said, I knew I wanted to go to the movie, especially when I saw the trailer. I said, I want to go see this. And I took my wife to the movies.

SPEAKER_06 48:04

Oh my.

SPEAKER_03 48:05

And guess what?

SPEAKER_07 48:06

Oh gosh, guys.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

We went back to the dating phases.

SPEAKER_07 48:09

I didn't see that.

SPEAKER_03 48:10

What did you do in the movies, Kree?

SPEAKER_07 48:12

Y'all, I did not mean to. I didn't even realize that I did, but I fell asleep for 40 minutes of the mute movie. But uh, y'all.

SPEAKER_03 48:21

She needed that self-care.

SPEAKER_07 48:23

I did.

SPEAKER_03 48:24

She had she had to unplug.

SPEAKER_07 48:25

But I'm so mad because I missed my favorite little actress lady.

SPEAKER_03 48:29

Um Erica Alexander. Anything like that.

SPEAKER_07 48:31

Yes, Erica Alexander from Living Single. Uh, what was her character on Max? She played on that. And that part I wanted to see. Uh, so I fell asleep and I missed it.

SPEAKER_03 48:41

She needed her self-care. But this was a form of self-care for me as well. Like I said, it's it's when I, you know, go somewhere with my little wives.

SPEAKER_07 48:50

And we got popcorn.

SPEAKER_03 48:51

We had popcorn, but it's just those are the things, man. Um, you gotta, you gotta find time for yourself. I'm telling you, you have to.

SPEAKER_07 48:59

Because if you don't, you um we see every day, I always say we see people on the news who aren't taking care of themselves. The emotions are building up, they can't manage it, and it comes out in ways that aren't healthy. Um, we um see it in so many settings where people are having trouble coping with the challenges of life, and they come out of so many different ways, whether that's um through um the way you talk to people, through stress, heart attack, stress, heart attack, yeah, uh, suicide, all of those things. And so depression, um, all those things, isolation. Um, and so it's so important for you to figure out what do you need, what to cope. And if you don't know, have somebody, you know, say, listen, I'm struggling and I need some help figuring out how to cope with what I'm what I'm feeling. Don't be afraid to ask for help. So um, everybody's gotta have at least three coping things in their back pocket to pull out um to use, and then uh figure out what's gonna be your fourth because sometimes those three kind of feel like they're not working.

SPEAKER_03 50:20

So quick three you recommend for people to try if they're uh coping.

SPEAKER_07 50:24

I would say a gr daily gratitude.

SPEAKER_03 50:26

Okay, give me another one.

SPEAKER_07 50:27

Come on. Um, I would say um music.

SPEAKER_03 50:31

Okay, give me another one.

SPEAKER_07 50:33

Um I would say um connection, friend venting.

SPEAKER_03 50:38

All right. I would say um breathing techniques, I would say reframing your mind, set, you know, your thought patterns about the situation.

SPEAKER_07 50:48

Negative, yeah, negative five.

SPEAKER_03 50:49

And then the other one, a coping skill that I would say is definitely having a source uh of communication. Like either it's another person, journaling, or prayer would be but you get the thoughts out. Yeah. Get them out. That's what I've said. Those are just quick ones.

SPEAKER_07 51:11

Very nice. All right, moving on, your turn.

SPEAKER_03 51:13

There was our therapizing.

SPEAKER_07 51:15

Therapizing,

A Kid Learns She Is African American

SPEAKER_07 51:16

y'all.

SPEAKER_03 51:16

All right, so now we're gonna talk a little feel good. You know, because we feel good. Yeah. So this feel good session is about this little girl who just realized that she was what we're not even gonna tell them. No. Read the story. And then, because I like because I didn't know what she realized until I was reading the the um the story. Okay. And then when I read the story, she said she has a secret to tell me. So, first of all, any any adult, if somebody comes, a little kid comes into, or any educators out there, first of all, y'all heard some crazy stories. We have kids that come, guess what? Coach Hare, guess what, Dr. Hare? I mean, like, what? Guess what I found out about my mom. So, oh, don't worry about it, don't tell me. You had to say, don't tell me, real quick, because I'm a mandated reporter. I don't want to know your mama stripping.

SPEAKER_07 52:06

Your mama can strip. That does not, you don't we don't report stripping.

SPEAKER_03 52:10

No, but I don't want her telling the school. Like, I don't really want to know your mama stripping. Okay. I'd rather find out your mama stripping by being at the strip club, be like, and she was like, you know, you teach my daughter, right? Oh, my bad, as opposed to your daughter told me. Yeah, she told me you stripped. That's why I'm here, you know, starting her homework. Nah, but um, that or like, you know, your mama doing something else, you know, my mama, you know, and such and such, which happened at Blair. Yeah. When the kid was saying, like, I saw such and such at my house. Him and my mama was with in the back room. I said, Oh, yeah. So you hear those things. So anytime a kid said they have something to tell you, you kind of be like, uh-oh.

SPEAKER_06 52:51

Oh, what is it?

SPEAKER_03 52:52

Yeah, what is it? So this little girl.

SPEAKER_07 52:54

Yeah, this little girl, um, she's a kindergartner. Um, and so as you said, we hear all kinds of things. Parents, listen, at your teacher, teachers know a lot of y'all's business because your babies share it. So this little girl went up to the club. Real quick. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:09

We just want to tell any educator or any um adult, you know, you gotta be an educator, uh, in the comments, drop just a crazy line, a sentence of whatever some a kid told you that you was like, oh, okay. A secret a kid told you just out of the blue. All right.

SPEAKER_07 53:27

All right. So this little girl, she said um she had some good news to tell her teacher. Her teacher is Mrs. Jameson. And so she says, Well, tell me your, she said, I got some secret good news. She says, Well, tell me your secret good news. She said, I have never told you I was African American. I'm African American. And so the teacher said, Um she says, I was African American this whole time. And her teacher was like, Did you just find this out? She said, Yes, I've been African American the whole time. Her teacher said, Well, baby, I knew.

SPEAKER_08 54:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 54:08

And so then she said, Well, so then she came around to hug her, and you saw her little chocolate arm wrap around her. And just like, how did she not know? The only thing I thought about was that teacher probably treats them all. Everybody's small, yeah, like they don't even notice that no favoritism, no baby. No favoritism, that they are all just her babies in that classroom. But she was said, she said her sister told her.

SPEAKER_03 54:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 54:34

And so um it made me think of also Kahari when they had something and they had to put what race they were. He was confused. He was like, he didn't know what to put because for so long he thought he was vanilla, so he thought he was white, but then we're black, and like, well, he thought I was vanilla.

SPEAKER_03 54:50

He just thought she was vanilla too.

SPEAKER_07 54:51

And he knew his daddy was black, and he was like, Um, I think he put he was mixed race, or he put something, and we were like, baby, you are black, you are not mixed, I'm not white.

SPEAKER_08 55:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 55:02

So um, for some kids, that's so funny. But she was, I mean, she was chocolate. So it was so funny that she did not realize she was African-American.

SPEAKER_03 55:09

Well, probably she just didn't know the terminology of African American until later, you know, and then which was one thing. I'm sure she knew she was black, but not African-American.

SPEAKER_07 55:17

African-American, maybe so.

SPEAKER_03 55:19

It was just so cool that the teacher didn't dismiss her because she kind of like let her say, you know, oh, for real? Wow. But guess what? I knew that already. Maybe I already knew that.

SPEAKER_07 55:30

She's like, You did? She said, Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:34

I bet she thought she, oh, she's cool. I thought you're cool. She does. I was African American. So that's just a little feel-good story, you know. Um, so any feel-good stories you have, ladies and gentlemen, out there, any uh achievements, you know, hit us up on um at refreshingly normal podcast at gmail.com. So you can email us any stories you have to say or any accolades. And who knows? We'll read them on the um pod. On the end.

SPEAKER_07 56:02

All right, now let's move on to our believing sister of the week.

SPEAKER_03 56:08

Now

Subway Manager Locks Child Up

SPEAKER_03 56:09

let's talk about this. What did Charlamagne the God says? If everybody knows about Charlamagne the God, he always says this one thing the craziest people come out of Brooklyn and all of Florida.

SPEAKER_07 56:18

And this is in Jacksonville, Florida. All right. All right. There's a subway manager in Jacksonville, um, avoided jail time after pleading guilty.

SPEAKER_03 56:32

That's a double believing system.

SPEAKER_07 56:33

Yeah. After um pleading guilty to child's abuse. Here's the child's abuse. He locked a 10-year-old girl in a back room of the subway because she accidentally walked across a freshly mopped floor. The child's mother has simply asked her daughter to apologize, but the manager reportedly grabbed the girl by the hand.

SPEAKER_03 57:03

Come on now.

SPEAKER_07 57:04

Now, first of all, what's the mama doing?

SPEAKER_03 57:06

He kidnapped the child.

SPEAKER_07 57:07

I wish somebody would. Grab my child. Okay. All right. Anywho, um, but the manager reportedly grabbed the girl by the hand, took her into the locker room, and held the door shut while the mother fought to get inside. The girl later told police she thought she was being kidnapped and said the manager insulted her parents while she was trapped. The child was reportedly held for about two minutes before her mother was able to force the door open. Another employee described the manager's behavior as weird. Weird and believed the child was in danger.

SPEAKER_03 57:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 57:45

Despite the severity of the situation, the manager received a plea deal that included three years probation, no additional jail time beyond two days, already served, mandatory mental health and substance abuse evaluation, and a no-contact order with the family.

SPEAKER_03 58:04

So he would have been in the hospital for a little bit. So he would have had some hospital stay time. He would have um, for one, subway, their number one seller that day, sandwich would have been a knuckle sandwich.

SPEAKER_08 58:18

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:18

And the foot long would have been in his ass.

SPEAKER_08 58:22

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 58:23

Because I I I got wear size 12. You know what I mean? And so that would have been that foot long right there with a little shin in it. That's how far I would have been in there.

SPEAKER_07 58:33

Let me tell you what, that subway would have been toe.

SPEAKER_03 58:36

Of course. Of course.

SPEAKER_07 58:38

No way in the world were you gonna grab. And the mother probably was, for one, I think, surprised. Because who would think that somebody would come and grab?

SPEAKER_03 58:48

But I But you ain't got to what was her response?

SPEAKER_07 58:51

Ain't no surprise. Oh no, child. Let me tell you what, I would have scratched his eyeballs out. He no, he would have messed with the wrong one that day. First of all, that happens often. Like I know when people mop, I try my best to kind of walk around. But depending on where I'm going, now if you moped where I got to walk through, then guess what?

SPEAKER_03 59:09

Yeah, I gotta walk through. You pick the wrong turn to mop.

SPEAKER_07 59:13

So I cannot believe. I mean, I guess I don't know. I feel like there are times where people gotta do 45 days in jail or you gotta do something. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03 59:23

They drop it. No, ain't no plea.

SPEAKER_07 59:24

We should have got at least a third a day, something.

SPEAKER_03 59:27

We're not offering a plea.

SPEAKER_07 59:28

That no.

SPEAKER_03 59:30

And I'll be so pissed that they offer him a plea.

SPEAKER_07 59:32

And they show the picture of him.

SPEAKER_03 59:34

Mm-hmm. Then I feel you. You know what I'm saying? And it's Florida. And it's Florida.

SPEAKER_07 59:39

I'm very curious.

SPEAKER_03 59:40

It's over there where Marlago is. Marlago's over there in Florida.

SPEAKER_07 59:43

I'm very curious to who was the girl and the mother. I'm very curious to that.

SPEAKER_03 59:50

But uh yeah, and that in it may have been some of our um Central American residence. Because a Florida sister in Jacksonville?

SPEAKER_07 1:00:05

Oh no, baby.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:06

Would have tore it up.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:07

Tow it up.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:08

Okay. That's Duvall. Listen. Duvall. They would have tore it up.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:12

Listen. And then that wouldn't even have been the end of it, because she would have called all the people.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:17

That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:18

Come on up.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:19

So I think it was somebody else who didn't want no static, no smoke because it's so much going on with them right now. So they was like, yeah, ugh.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:27

I believe that's true.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:28

And that was probably his little scare tactic, like, oh, and what else he said to them?

SPEAKER_07 1:00:32

Yes, what he said to them.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:33

This is what's gonna happen to you. You're gonna be locked up. I'm gonna do. Yeah, so no. Oh, I didn't even think of that. So, yeah, he would have been.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:40

Oh, that just angers me more.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:42

He would have got a foot loan though, in another side.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:43

They didn't even mention, does he say work as at Star at uh not Starbucks?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:47

Nah, Subway, probably not. Well, you know, ain't no telling, because we I see it's a lot of crazy folks at Subway. That's where they work at. Like that one by the school.

unknown 1:00:55

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:55

When I was in there, and them folks looking up there that one time, ordered my sandwich, and they was doing all this. And I was like, they ain't even making those, you know.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:04

You remember, you remember the one video where the lady was making it and she was like on sub and she was just kind of like And then I went to school.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:10

I went to school and I and the kids like, hell, where you get it, so I said, I got it from right there. They said, You got it from where? Oh, they they meth heads up there. I said, I saw them. Oh they said, I don't go up there anymore, but they change it's only it's it's not what them people, those kids are not there no more. Okay, yeah, but uh yeah, they would just over there just making a sandwich like that.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:32

Yeah, I can't even imagine. I mean, I just cannot speak even imagine a man grabbing my child by the arm and putting them in a closet.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:43

In a club, come on, look.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:44

Listen, I want to fight him right now.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:46

Yeah, I would have fleet. And it was not even my child. I'm talking about every Subway would have been jacked up. Oh man. I'm talking about everything. He would have been messed up too.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:58

He'd have been messed up.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:00

Like that is out of order.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:02

Out of order.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:04

I'd have had him him though so bad when they came in, that joke been laying on top of the meats. Like he was a selection.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:11

He'd have been all up on there. Bruised up, eyes, everything.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:14

I won't sound violent, but they're not. Oh no, I'ma sound it.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:17

When it comes to doing something like that, oh, mm-mm.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:20

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:22

I don't even think so. But he did it. And so guess what? Believe it. Believe it, sister. Oh raggedy itself.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:30

Oh raggedy tail cell.

Side Eyes Movie Nap And Drug Test

SPEAKER_03 1:02:32

All right, side eye of the week.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:34

You're gonna start you on me and you know what?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:36

I I got two side eyes.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:38

The first one was happened a few hours ago.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:44

What?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:45

I'm sitting there like this. And I said, oh man, you see that? That's crazy. I look that mother like this. And then when she sleep, leak. Creek got a little lip that does this and come down like that. When she really sleeps, it'd be like I said, she gone. She is gone. I ain't even worried about it. I got a little video of it though.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:05

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:07

I might clip it in.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:08

Please don't. While she sleep.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:10

So that's my side. She went back to when we were dating and she fell asleep on me at a few movies. And so I started taking her out to the matinees because I was like, if she goes to sleep, I'm not wasting any money. And hey, thank God I was the matinee today. And, you know, $11 VIP seats each. So hey, you know, she gave me about $6 worth of movie watching. So that's one side. The other side I was this little dude that worked for the Department of Transportation. I had to take a random drug test, you know, since I was supposed to have my CDL to drive school buses for activities, trips, you know, for the business.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:45

I want to fight him too. Subway and the other.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:50

The principal said, hey, somebody needs to see you in the other principal's office. I said, all right, bet, you know. And I'm thinking, I know I ain't do nothing to no kids, but did the teachers do anything? They need me to be a witness. I'm like, oh God, what's going on? And I noticed that I was feeling suspicious because the principal kept following me. Like, I know where the class is at, you know. And he kept following me. So then as soon as I get up into the principal office, um, this guy, a little young brother, sitting behind the desk, and said, Just put your things over there. Just looked at me and I'm like, you know. And I looked at it again. He said, Yeah, just put your things right there. I said, Say, what now? Drop your bag right there. And he said, um, and you know, and then I need you to sign this right here. Initial, initial sign this. I said, hold up, hold up. Who are you and what's this for? I need you to, I said, I I said, excuse me. Who are you? And what is this for? You need to take a drug test. I said, for what? He said, some random drug test for the Department of Transportation. Because at first he said a drug test, and I was thinking, like, somebody said you were on drugs, yeah. And then I saw thinking, you know, it was like within a split second, I thought somebody tried to report me for acting crazy or something. Um, I said, Well, I am smiling all the time. Like that one team said, Why are you always smiling in this chaos that we're dealing with? And and then the other thing, I was like, Well, my internship said I got to take a drug test. Maybe they sent him to get, you know, get it here. So, but then his his his his rude demeanor just said, I was like, I said, try this again. He said, Oh, I'm sorry. I'm with the Department of Transportation and we select, you know, bus drivers to do random drug tests. I said, when y'all started this, because I've been driving buses for 10 years. You know, and well, it's um, you know, knew that they were doing now. I said, this year, I said, Oh, okay, all right, all right, bet. So at one point I was thinking, don't take the test, because uh, you know, I was like, I ain't no need. I'm one, they said my my privileges was invalid because I didn't get enough drives within the first semester. First semester. So I was like, plus I'm going to a new school. I'm like, I ain't driving no more. I don't even want to do it, so I don't need to take no tests. But then I thought, I said, no. I said, they trying to find a reason to cut black people from everything. I said, this may give them a reason to say, oh, he's he refused to take drug tests, he must be guilty. And let's fire him, I said, you know, plus ain't got nothing to hide. And I had to pee, so here you go. So um so we we took the test and then um you know that was it. But I was just uh very uh I guess you say, not perturbed. I was pissed pissed off.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:20

Yeah, because of the because of the approach.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:23

Yeah, he approached me differently. And I don't care who you are, I don't care what the job is. I you know, even even you know, and and I had to tell people, you know, even like police, you know, and I understand what they do, but there's a way you could approach someone in a situation, yeah, talking to a person, whatever. You just you gotta treat people as if they are humans, first of all.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:45

And how would it be if I just came to you and talked to you some kind of way and said, drop your stuff right there, whatever. But that's my side. I it was it was handled very unprofessionally, um, you know, and so um that's that.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:58

Yeah, I was ready to fight somebody too. Let me tell you. Because that's just not how you do it. The more the appropriate way should have been when you came in and says, hello, my name is such and such. I'm from the DOT. Um, I'm here to do a random drug test for you today.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:12

Yep.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:13

Period. That's all he had to do.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:15

I don't know. Oh, okay, bet.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:16

So if you would please put your things over here.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:20

Follow me to this area.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:20

And follow me to this area so we can go ahead and get this done quickly. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:26

That's it.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:26

That's it. Customer service.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:28

Yeah, me had me pissed off.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:31

Ciao. I'm glad I didn't answer my phone through the day because I had to still work with those middle schoolers. I would have been.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:36

So yeah, I was, I was, I was a little because that bothered me all night. Yeah, I was shaking. Yeah, I was not shaking, but I was shaking to the point where I was like, you know what, man, it's just one extra thing that I'm dealing with. Yeah. But you know, God will test you. He would test you. And he's been testing me a lot lately. Been testing me a lot lately. And um, you know, but it's it's stuff that that it's like an already lost fight. You know what I mean? Yeah. But he's still testing, you know what I mean? He's still, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is what it is. But that was my those are my two side eyes. So if I have two side eyes, that means I'm either cross-eyed or I'm semi-a.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:09

Yeah. Well, your second cross-eye was a good one.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:12

That was a valid cross-eye. That was valid. The first one went valid? Child, please.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:16

Anywho, my side eye is people, people that attended the conference.

Conference Rudeness And Lost Decorum

SPEAKER_07 1:08:23

What they do. People, I mean, I feel like people are losing decorate decorum.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:29

Decorum.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:31

They okay, they are they're losing it. And people are just, I think it kind of goes with now they're doing it live and in person. You know how people feel like they can go online and say however they feel to people's responses. I feel like people are now now it's transitioning into doing it live and in person. So for instance, we had the keynote speaker um on Wednesday, and she's up there speaking, and the mic system was a little, it was a little bit janky, but it was okay. Um, the room was a large ballroom, and if you're really interested, there are okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:08

You're probably getting ready to say, I I had I had this question, but I forgot to ask you. Go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:12

It was a large um ballroom. Um you can sit wherever you want to sit. If you're really interested, because sometimes people aren't interested in what they're doing. There we go, there we go. There we go. What the um keynote speaker is saying. But if you're truly interested, then you should have took your little self up to the front of the room so you could hear what she had to say. If you really were interested. But let me tell y'all, that lady is up there. Um, she is a professor at um John Hopkins. And um, she great speaker, she has a really good keynote, honey. About 10 minutes in or five minutes in, somebody in the back goes, We can't hear you. I said, What the hell?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:57

Oh, get your ass up and walk to the room.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:59

Who does that? Get your little self up. There's plenty of seats up here where we're sitting.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:04

But you want me to address you specifically because you decide to sit in the back.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:09

You decide to sit in the back. Honey, I said no, no, no. So then it's another gentleman there. I'm not gonna say his name, but he was there when we went the year before last. And he's an older therapist. Oh, yeah, you said um, honey. He just says whatever he wants to say.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:30

And these people helping people with their problems.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:32

Listen, they are helping people, and so one of the speakers was comparing, like um being dysregulated, like uh an analogy with being on a highway that um or traffic, traffic jam, whatever. She was talking about that. And so he says, he raises his hand. She says, Yes, yes. And he says, Let me tell you something. You be on that super highway too long, you get sick. I e cancer. Didn't say nothing else. Hey, hey, he gave it. So the lady says, she's South African, she goes. South African accent.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:19

Yes, you could indeed get sick. I'm not sure cancer, but uh yes, yes, if you stay on it, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:28

Hey, if she was a true Nigerian, she would say something.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:33

Then in that same session, the lady gets through her whole thing. Dang it, I can't think of the poly. Oh, it's gonna drive me crazy. It's poly, it's a theory. Polly polygrill. Dang it. I should know this as a therapist, but it's not coming to me. It's Polly something that deals with therapy. It's a it's a theory. Um, so this guy at the very end, she's done. She's about done. She's asking, she's at the end, five minutes for questions. He raises his hand. Shane dude, no, okay, but he's gonna add to it.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:04

Oh, look.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:05

This other guy raises his hand. I felt like he was being a prick, but who am I? He raises his hand, she goes, yes. He goes, Yes, I just recently read an article that says that this poly theory that you're talking about is not relevant, and there aren't any studies that prove that it that it even works. Have you read those articles? Do you know anything about that? And the late, I looked, I was like, what in the hell? Like, that is not anything that you say. As therapists, as people who have been in academia, we know that there are lots of theories for and against for and against. Um, so then after he says that, here go the uh IE cancel, he says, Oh, what's the name of that article? And she said, the guy says, What? And so the guy is saying trying, he's yelling across the room the name of the car. I can't hear you. Say that again. What's the name of that article? Because I think it's something that we all should read. I mean, I think it's important. We're hearing this, but we need to hear the other. And uh, I said, Are we are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:20

I would have, I would have said, y'all can do that later. I would have said that. I've said that before.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:26

Oh my gosh. And I think for her, what I think would have been great for her is like, thank you for sharing that. However, as we know, as in academia, there are theories that are for and against, and studies that go for and against, depending upon who who believes what they believe, because a theory is what you believe in. We all say which theories fit what what we do as clinicians, what supports the way that we um help clients, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:57

Depending on the evidence that you're looking for is positive. Isn't it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:01

You know, so so I thought that was the rudest thing, and the decorum of people, it was just off. Even for me, here's the other decorum piece. The it was is it was at the Crown Plaza, nice, well organized. The breakfast, amazing. I mean, delicious every day. They don't do lunch, you do lunch on your own, but they provide snacks. There's a snack in the morning, there's a snack in the afternoon, and I'm talking about good old snacks like a hummus bar. They didn't keep them all. Okay, I thought they came in. And then no, they don't keep it there. They it's a it's an in and out, like there's a certain time frame.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:33

Okay, it's in a certain spot.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:34

In the afternoon, they had a a nacho bar with uh churros. And I mean, it's it's nice. Honey, you would think these people have never ate before in their life.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:43

Tell you they come from the small towns in Georgia.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:45

I'm talking about, I said so much. And what was so funny was in the one session I was in with the um with the uh boundary setting, so I was sitting there, I went and got because it was so cold in there. I went and got made myself some tea because they have a tea thing out. So I got my tea and came back, and then this girl came in. I'm talking about her plate full. It was this time it was hummus and um uh what's the other little cheese we had, dip we had? Pimento cheese. Pimento cheese. And so she came back. I'm talking about plate full. The man is a black man next to her. He said, huh. Well, good thing I didn't go make my plate because you went ahead and made a plate that's for the both of us. I said, Oh, no, he didn't. He didn't even know her.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:27

Oh.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:27

No. And she just kind of went, so anyway, just a decorum, like it was just, and I'm talking about, we knew like the snacks are coming out at like 3:15. Honey, they were in line at 3. Now, mind you, sessions are still going on. Oh, so they didn't left them sessions. Left the session to get in line for the snacks.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:47

Hey. You know, man. Listen. Everybody ain't raised properly, man.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:52

No, so I'm side-eyeing.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:53

Everybody not seeking proper uh behavior.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:57

Oh, so I am really side-eyeing um lack of decorum. Lack of decorum that that happened through that. But it was very entertaining.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:07

You know what he should have said?

SPEAKER_07 1:16:08

What?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:09

You keep eating all that stuff, you might get sick. I. Obesity.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:17

Obesity.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:21

And then you have to listen to you know, you keep on eating that way.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:25

You might not ever get the surgery.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:28

I like the one lady that says, Oh, I didn't eat anything. This this just I it got to be water weight.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:35

Well, you can't have over 700 pounds of water. That's just not possible.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:42

I love that man on 600-pound life. He is too

Gratitude For Village And Opportunities

SPEAKER_03 1:16:47

funny. All right, so what are you grateful for?

SPEAKER_07 1:16:49

Um, let's see. Um, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for Sharita.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:57

Yes. Um, Dr.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:01

Hughes.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:02

That is Key.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:03

Snappy Roots.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:04

That's one of Key's.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:05

That's the back of her neck. Oh, God.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:08

That's one of Key's best friends. Yeah. And also the boy's godm.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:14

Scary J. Blige.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:15

Oh, she created an opportunity for Skinny Ripperton. Oh gosh. She created an opportunity for Kimani. Um, he um um they arranged it and she put it together. He is going to be teaching college readiness.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:34

His essay writing skills, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:36

And essay writing skills for students that are high school going into college or even college students. Yeah. Uh Kimani is an excellent, excellent writer overall. Um, so he's gonna go there with another one of her um um interns.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:54

So they're going to do the combination of him doing the academia and the other one doing the wellness, I believe. They're gonna work together to create those workshops. So he's gonna be spending the summer with Rita, baby. And so he left yesterday and he wanted to try a new adventure. So he took Amtrak to New Jersey. We dropped him off at Amtrak station in Atlanta um yesterday evening. His train left at 11:30, and he should be there by now. But he has not even texted us and told us he made it. So we'll have to check in to see if he's made it because he's yeah, I thought it was 5:30.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:31

Yeah, that's what I thought it was.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:32

Yeah, so we'll check in to see if he's made it.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:34

Hopefully, he got all the books probably all the way up to May. Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:37

Like, wait, I'm I miss my stomp.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:40

Yeah, what why these penguins up here? Yeah, these polar bears went to Alaska.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:44

So I'm grateful for her that she created that opportunity for him because oftentimes our babies, when I say our babies, I mean our black African Americans, they don't get some of those same opportunities, like an internship um thing to kind of grow exposure and opportunity to to create a workshop and and facilitate it and do all of those things.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:07

So I got a hell of a village, man. Yeah, you have a hell of a village.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:11

I'm so grateful um for her for creating that opportunity for him. He is beyond excited about it. So yeah, I'm grateful for her.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:20

Okay, okay. I'm grateful uh for the fact that this school year is almost over. It was a great, I mean, really when I look back, it was a chill school year.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:30

It was, and it was you were thinking it wasn't you were I was I was um Well, no, that was last year. Because last year when you first started as back into spin. This was year two?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:40

This year.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:40

It was this year? Yeah, this year the first year. Yeah, and it turned out excellent.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:43

Yeah, it was it was chill, man, because like so I'm gonna do me. Yeah. And you know, the teachers accepted, you know, all of me. And as the year, as each, you know, month progressed, the teachers were like, okay. They realized, well, yeah, and yeah, and I see why he's Dr.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:00

Hare.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:01

And then they start saying, Well, who am I gonna get next year? I was like, I don't know. Then they say, Because I had such and such before you. And, you know, and like you ain't gotta tell me if I'm not doing my job. Right. You know what I'm saying? But they was like, Because, oh man, and because they know I'm I'm not gonna let the kids do them any kind of way. I'm gonna we're gonna have a good time in class, but we're also gonna do what we're supposed to do in class. And so uh, you know, that's you know, I'm grateful for the fact that the year's almost over, man. I'm sad to leave the school.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:32

Sad to see some of my kids go, but you, you know, it's always like that. They're gonna go, come and go.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:36

Um, and I gotta start something new. And I know um that God's gonna bless me. Um I don't know what to expect.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:45

I Well, you got Sources of Strength. We've already told the girl who leads Sources of Strength to find you.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:50

Oh, okay. So it's gonna be different. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:53

But um Her name is Valerie.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:55

All right, Valerie. But I'm gonna do what I do. You know what I'm saying? But I'm I'm just grateful, one, that I do have a job. Um, I can continue on. And um, I'm gonna speak this into it.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:06

Oh, speak it, baby.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:08

I'm grateful that uh I'm gonna have financial freedom this year for my family.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:13

I love it.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:14

Whether that's the lottery, yes, it's gonna be live, I'm gonna hit the lottery, but it's also gonna be out of opportunities that's gonna come my way. So I'm speaking that into existence now. I'm grateful for that.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:25

I'm gonna I wanted to add one grateful because I don't know if I said it last week, but I'm also grateful for our family that showed up for Kemani.

SPEAKER_08 1:21:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:33

I don't think I said that last week, but they always show up for our babies.

SPEAKER_08 1:21:37

Yep.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:38

Um, their high school graduation, I I mean, we had a we had a crowd.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:42

Oh, yeah, we did.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:43

We had a crowd. Even for Kemani. We knew his graduation was out of town, so we knew that would be kind of challenging for him, and it was on a Friday. Um, but when it came to the celebration here and the winery, um, everybody showed up for him. And um, so I'm grateful that they care enough about um their nephew or cousin to come and stay with us.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:06

It's gonna be a good time. It's gonna be a good time.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:08

It's gonna be something different.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:10

It's gonna be a good time, always. And I'm grateful for Hathaway's box.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:14

Oh, yes, Hathaway. Our um, she's our daughter, she's our Japanese daughter. Yeah, um, we had her as our um exchange student, but she is our family now. She um she still calls us mom and dad. Yeah, but for Kimani, she sent a card and gifts for him for graduation, and she sent a box of um Japanese treats and tons of different snacks that we haven't tried. The ones that we love that she knows that we love. She knows that she sent those again. And she even sent something like the certain puzzle for Kahari that she put, she labeled whose was what um on there. Um, so we are so grateful for um Hathaway thinking of us, yeah, thinking of Kimani. Um, and she knows anytime she's ready to come back, she she she is so welcome. She was flexing that pharmacy money now. Yeah, she's a pharmacist, so yeah. So she sent her own box and we were not expecting it.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:13

No, it didn't even show up on the um on the mail, mail uh notification.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:17

She knew when it got her because she sent me a text and she said, Mom, I sent you guys. I said, I just got it. And um, she says, and she says, Congratulations to Kimani, but also congratulations to you because being a mom is hard work. So, yeah. So thank you, Hathaway.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:34

Yeah, thank you. All right, so what are you looking

What We Are Looking Forward To

SPEAKER_03 1:23:37

forward to?

SPEAKER_07 1:23:37

Ooh, what am I looking forward to? I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow because it's Sunday and it's the day that I get to get a slow start. Um, so I'm looking forward to a slow start tomorrow. All right. And then I don't know what we're gonna do tomorrow, but just some connection time.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:55

Yeah, definitely. Um, I'm looking forward to whatever connection time you're looking for, because hey, I'm always willing to connect. Oh my god. Connect fo. Yeah. But um, I'm looking forward to this is our final week. Um, you know, it's not my final week. Yeah, but still, it's final, you know. Okay. I'm looking forward to that. Um it's gonna be bittersweet. Yeah. But um, every good thing must come to an end. Does it really, though? I don't think every good thing must come to an end.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:30

Still I can't. My group in high school sung that song all the time. But it's a natural you belong to me.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:41

And that's what I'm looking forward to. That's what I'm looking forward to, baby.

Closing And Street Tacos Plans

SPEAKER_03 1:24:46

All right, so we're gonna jump up out of it because it's time to go get something to eat. And and I kind of want some street tacos and a marg.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:53

Oh, not marg.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:55

You know, I want a marg.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:56

We had sush last night. That's what we keep minding on it.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:59

It's sush. Yeah, let's see.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:00

Now we're gonna go have a marg.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:02

Marg and street tacos. Yeah. Yeah, because we like fat.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:05

Yah.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:06

But um, unless somebody else has a different appetite.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:09

I'm okay with tacos and margs.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:12

Other than that, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for rocking with us as always.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:15

Thank you. Gracias.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:17

We hope that you enjoy everything that you are receiving. And thank you for being with us from the bottom. Because when we start blowing up, yeah. Started from the bottom, but we're here. Yeah, we're gonna blow up.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:28

Start it from the bottom, but we're up and um that's it.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:32

So it's time to bounce. So uh this is the Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:38

Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:39

I am Kefla.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:41

I am Kree.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:43

And we are out back.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:55

The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.