🎙️ Episode 39: Is ADHD A Superpower?

Episode 39 - ADHD: Superpower, Disability… or Both?

Is ADHD a superpower… or a disability?

It’s a question that keeps popping up online, and every time it does the internet seems to split into camps. Some people argue that calling ADHD a superpower minimises the very real struggles people face. Others say recognising the gifts that can come with it helps them stop seeing themselves as broken.

In this penultimate episode of the season, we dive into the messy middle of that conversation.

We talk about the realities of living and working with ADHD - executive function struggles, time blindness, overwhelm, burnout and those moments where the smallest task somehow turns into a mountain. We also explore the other side of the experience: hyperfocus, creativity, intuition, pattern spotting and the ability to dive deep into something that genuinely matters.

Along the way we unpack things like late diagnosis, masking, the scaffolding many people build just to stay organised, and the crash that can come after days of high-energy “peopling”.

We also ask a question that stopped us both in our tracks:

If someone could wave a magic wand and make you neurotypical tomorrow… would you do it?

As always, we’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you see ADHD as a superpower, a disability, both… or something else entirely?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

You're listening to the Awesome We Off Topic of the podcast where we talk about and everything else we're not supposed to say. Now loud with that turn out, now coaching, creators, and chaos navigators. Let's go! Welcome to today's Awesomely Off Topic. Today we want to talk about something that's a little bit contentious, and that is is ADHD a superpower or a disability?

SPEAKER_02 0:33

There's a question. Goodness me. Well, it's divided opinion on every level, hasn't it? You've had a lot of feedback, haven't you, recently? Because we've done a what this will probably be about our third podcast when we've gone into kind of ADHD and talked about things around that topic. So tell me why you wanted because this was your idea to do this, so I'm gonna let you explain why you wanted to start talking about this in this way.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Because I've seen so much division over it, and every now and then, usually on social media, you'll see somebody firing off some kind of comment or video or something that says, Stop calling ADHD a superpower. It isn't a superpower, and then they list all the bad stuff. And it's right, there is bad stuff. There's some real challenges with having ADHD, especially when we're running a business. But by the same token, I like calling mine a superpower. It helps me to recognise that there are good points as well. So yeah, I struggle with so much with executive function, time management, finishing tasks. Uh, RSD is hideous. There are so many challenges. Being able to sit still and focus on what I need to be focusing on. So many, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. But it also enables me to really hyper-focus on something and really finish a task that that might take uh uh a neuronormative person a lot longer. It's like I can somehow manipulate time when I'm in that zone, and I might not be able to pick and choose what it is that I hyper-focus on, for instance, but so long as I keep working on things that interest me, I'm gonna tap into that hyper-focus.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

Okay, don't you think it's also it's about it's how we approach it, isn't it? Yeah. In the same way, so you're you you flip your negatives, so the first thing you're gonna think about is all the amazing things that it gives you. Yes. Because you're a very positive person. Yeah. But if you're not quite so positive in that approach, then of course you're gonna think about all the things that are challenging, and there are lots of things that are challenging, right, about being neurodivergent.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

Absolutely, but that's the flip, isn't it? There's there's an old saying that an eagle needs two two wings to fly. Yeah. And I think there are both. You know, I so often talk about perspective in terms of we can we can just stare at the big steaming pile of manure, or we can look at the flowers growing out of it.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

And that, whichever way you go, it doesn't mean that the other doesn't exist. We can acknowledge that that manure exists while while going, well, I'm gonna give my attention to the flowers. And this is coming up for me now because for the first time in forever, someone again on LinkedIn, and she was she was really giving some balanced comments. Bless her, she was doing really, really well. I didn't mean to that sound patronising, I promise. But um, it's the first time I've ever replied when somebody has been out there saying stop calling ADHD a superpower. And I said, Look, I feel really torn about this one because honestly, I find it really irritating every time I see somebody saying don't call it a superpower. And I think we need to acknowledge that there are those of us who are going to sit more on the side of to really polarise this disability, and the other side of people who are gonna go, yeah, but this gives me so much. But I don't think we need to polarise, I don't think we need to be policing how somebody feels about their own challenges, their own journey with ADHD.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

Yeah, I agree. It's it's very personal, isn't it? And it impacts you everybody differently. Yeah. You should be able to express that as well, you should be able to express that freely so you don't get put in one camp or the other. Yeah. And and that I get yeah, I get what you mean, because there's so many things about it as I'm learning more and more through you and other people and my own experiences, that are so many great things to shout about, and some of the other things that are so really, really quite challenging regularly, you know, on a daily basis. So it's about what do you what do you focus on and why can we not have both of those approaches accepted or all of those approaches, we're all different. We're all different. Yeah. So why can we not appreciate that and let people um talk about it in the way that is that feels right for them?

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Okay, Ash, so you're not officially diagnosed, whereas I am, but we know. Yeah. Um and we obviously know because of course once I'm diagnosed I am now qualified to diagnose everybody else. Rubbish. Um but if they suddenly came up with some kind of I don't know, medical invention, some miracle cure in air quotes, that was a quick, painless procedure, could even dump in from the comfort of your your own home and even, I don't know, over the internet so you didn't have to even let anybody in.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

And they said they could make you neurotypical. Would you go for it?

SPEAKER_02 5:20

No. Why? Because I am me, imperfectly perfect me. And one of the things that I've realised as I've got older is that all these years, as I'm starting to learn more about ADHD, about autism, um, and the things that come up for me, so much of it has made sense looking back on things now, and also there's so much joy to be had from it as well. It's an experience that for everybody is different, but isn't that the beauty of life that we're all different? No two people are exactly the same, even twins are not exactly the same, and so why would you not be happy to um to own that? It's not even about owning it, it's about just being in that space of okay, I might be this on on the on the spectrum.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

But because of all the challenges, because it's debilitating and it ruins our lives and it makes us feel dreadful all the time and lose opportunities and lose money and lose lose jobs and lose relationships.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Yeah, nobody's denying that. Nobody's denying that. I was only talking about this this morning, wasn't I? Because I said to you.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

I am playing devil's advocate now.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

No, it's good, no, it's good, it's good because it gets me chatting a bit more. Um I was talking about it this morning and I was saying to you, wasn't I, that I'm no longer in corporate and how much I would really, really struggle now. However much there is so much more available for people on the on the neurodivergent scale, there's still a lot of challenges for people. For instance, you know, some of the things about working in an open plan office, for instance.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

That for me, the thought of doing that, just I don't know how I'd be able to deal with that because it's not even when we go out somewhere, if we go to a restaurant, I want somewhere with like lots of little nooks and nooks and crannies where you can go into a corner and you can be safety. Back to the back to the wall and being able to see the rest of the space. You know, when people say it's amazing, we've got so much around us, we've got we can just eat here, we've got a fantastic restaurant, we've got you know coffee stations around the place, we can just go, but you're being viewed at from every angle. That's my idea of hell, absolute hell. So that would be really difficult to to deal with. So things like that, really basic stuff that a lot a lot of neurotypicals, I'm guessing, wouldn't even think about that. But it is a big thing, it's about noise levels, it's about you know the the lighting, it's about what the artificial lighting, what sort of lighting is it? You know, what how are you feeling with that? How how are you going to be like that? Working in what I call very often some of our more modern offices, goldfish bowls, in effect. But how would you deal with that?

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Let me interrupt you there for a minute because you have been in corporate, yeah, you've been in lots and lots of newsrooms, yeah. You've been in situations that are crowded, you've interviewed people from all walks of life, everyone from film stars through to royalty through to the the the the guy who comes and collects the stuff for our bins every week.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

You know?

SPEAKER_02 8:08

So And Milton. And the Milton Milton, remember Milton? Absolutely. And Willem.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

You have been in all of these different situations, you haven't suddenly become ADHD, or all DHD as we suspect you might be. So how did you manage then? Why is this suddenly an issue that you're noticing?

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Because because as I'm coming to terms and noticing some of the things that leave me absolutely on the floor energy-wise, that I'm masking is exhausting. And I've been doing that. I'd I want to fit in, I don't want to be different, I don't want to look different, I don't want to feel different, I just want to fit in. Oh if I could, I'd be like that chameleon, or I'd be, you know, I'd be able to blend into the wallpaper.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

But you just said we should be celebrating our individuality.

SPEAKER_02 8:51

Yeah. But you want to fit in. Yeah, but I'm yeah, but when I'm in that space, I want to fit in. That's that's the push-pull. That's the thing, and I think that's probably some of the signs that there's a lot there's some autism in there as well, possibly, but I'm no expert. So anybody listening to this that is, please enlighten me. But um I've forgotten the original thing now, this is what I do as well.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

How did you you were talking about all the challenges and you know the the light sensitivity, the noise sensitivity, the crowded environments, and you know, I was talking about the executive function difficulties. Why would it be difficult for you to go and work in an office now when you have done that before? Because you haven't suddenly become ADHD or DHD.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

Because I'm older, I get more tired more easily.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

I don't know, maybe so so that guy that was speaking in the Daily Fascist a few weeks back then, um, who said that the reason so many women are being diagnosed with ADHD later in life is because there's lots of confusion and they're actually just perimenopausal or menopausal and they don't have ADHD at all. So is that it then? You're just a bit menopausal.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

No. There's a distinct difference. How do you know? I just know. How? I just do.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

See, that's not gonna stand up in court or something.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

It's not of course it isn't. But it's an it's an in it's an internal thing. It's a it's a it's a feeling, it's a sense, it's a I don't know how to describe it. And again, trying to verbalise it is quite difficult.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

And because once you know, you can look back through your entire life before we hit perimenopause or menopause, before we'd even heard of hormones, and go, oh wow, that explains this and this and this and this and this. This is something that has always been there, but it becomes heightened and more difficult to ignore, impossible to ignore, for me at least, when we hit perimenopause. Yeah. So I'd been masking for years, I didn't realise I had ADHD for years, I wasn't like in air quotes any of the other people I've seen around me with ADHD, so I couldn't be that, you know. Um but once I'd been through that process and it had been recognised, and it took other people pointing it out to me, and me scoffing at the first X amount before I thought, oh, there might be something in this when I started to read up. Yeah. I could look back at everything through my life and recognise it. That's why the the the psych psychiatrist I was working with insisted on seeing things like my school reports and school records. Yeah, fascinating. They're not looking for something that suddenly pops up. So if it's not to do with perimenopause ash, is it not just because you've been watching too many TikTok videos? Because that's the other reason so many women have been.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

Oh yeah, I've been reading up on it. Yeah. Yeah. Um I've got into conversations with people where it's just like we're on the same page, exactly the same page. And um, yeah, and people are more open about talking about it now. You know, when I grew up, I grew up in the seven, you know, I'm a kid of the late 60s, I hasten to add, but a kid of the sixties, I was born in 68, so therefore, 70s was my childhood. Yeah. Um, and looking at back at them, we didn't, we just saw it as that stereotypical boy that had had too much orange drink. Yeah. Yeah? All those chemicals, it's not doing them any good. That's what we grew up with, and you had to be angry and unruly, yeah. And a real, you know, not a good, not a good individual because you were badly behaved. Yeah, so all of that stuff was going on around then. But also, it also accounts for why, whenever it came to exam time or certain pressure points at school, and moving from primary school into secondary school was a massive deal. Massive, massive deal. Coming out from that little, you know, that little school that I knew really well, coming out of there and into a huge big school with lots of people I didn't know and lots of different places to be at certain times of the day and dealing with timetables and everything else. And some would say, Well, surely that's every kid, isn't it? Every kid goes through that. Yeah, but how how what's that experience like for a neurodivergent kid as opposed to a neurotypical kid? And I'm sure there's lots of research being done on that.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

But um So what for you are the negative elements of ADH or DHD that you struggle with? How does it negatively impact your life?

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Um, I think one of the things is my executive functioning is there are good times of day for me, and I'm noticing now that particularly if I've got other things around me, if there's too much noise, distraction, I really struggle to focus in on what I'm supposed to be doing. Um I've started wearing headphones and things now because that helps quite a bit, but still that's one of the big ones because in terms of time, time taken to do things sometimes a bit longer than maybe it would do, if I was more focused for 110% of the time. Um so that's one of the big ones I would say. Um tiredness, as in and and then thinking forgetting to go and have a loo break or a coffee break or something like that. So for instance, I can be so tonal vision. Alexhemia is that? Alexithemia, yes. What's that for our listeners who don't know what it is? Well that that's you're thinking you're thinking well, monotropism is that focusing in on one thing at once, one thing at once.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

Alexithema, isn't it isn't that when you're not aware of the thing that's going to within your body, which is why you often don't realise that you need to go to the loo.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

I need the loo. And I can literally be like, I thought about that briefly about two hours ago and I forgot I forgot to action that. Or to have water. Or to drink. That's the other thing as well. To eat. Yeah, a lot of people I think have problems with with eating as well. So unfortunately, I do the opposite and I've realised one of those. I've already eaten and do it again. Yeah, but one of my I think possibly what they call a stim could be o overeating, is another one which is recognising that. So there's lots of things like that where I think problems. If I could if I could change that, then maybe I, you know, I'd be more productive, I'd be more consistent, I'd be, you know, all of those things. But I am who I am. And it's also taught me that that I can still work to quite in quite a high pressure environment and still get the job done. It's just that for instance, if I'm going to a big event or something, we've talked about this, we can have a fantastic time at a two, three-day event, be in it, absolutely in the zone, really doing our best, connecting with people, and then I come out of there and it's like just I've I'm people down. Crash. Yeah, and it's a crash. Yeah. And so allowing- And when you say it's a crash, yeah, explain what that's like and why it happens.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

Because some of this is going to be a dopamine crash. Yeah. Some of this is gonna be because you've been you you've been masking so much to fit in and to be able to stay on top of things that that is exhausting and it depletes you at every level.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

What is it like when we say, oh, we're a bit peopled out and we're having a crash? I don't think people really understand the extent of that.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

I it can get to the point where I know my logical brain knows that I am tired and I need to sleep. But my other part of me is like, no, no, you've got too much going on, there's too many things firing everywhere. So it's almost like it's like I see it like a pinball machine, you know, when all the lights go on, when you pull the thing back with the ball and it starts hitting the target. Or when you get all the multiple balls at once. Yeah, and it's like boom boom boom boom boom and it's all going. And I know I know I need to rest, but I've still I'll just go and do that, I'll just go and do this. That's usually part of it when I come down the other side of it, and then it's total, absolute exhaustion to the point where it's like, you know, sitting I could put the telly on, I couldn't tell you what was on the television, it would just be I I'll actually be known to just press the same button again and again and go around and just do a channel hop and not even realise what I'm doing because I'm just I'm zoned to that point where I'm just how about you? Because it's really difficult, it's it's difficult to explain, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 16:40

I've always said when I'm running events or when I'm at an event, I can keep going and going and going because I am so in it, and of course, if we're on an event, it's something that fires us up that we know we can help people with, yeah, and we love it, that we know is gonna make a massive difference to people's lives, and we're so in it that it's like being the Juracell bunny.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

I'm just on, on, on, on. And I swear I can keep going for a week. Yeah. Running those every day. But the second we switch off, it's like all of a sudden my system can go, you can stop now, and everything crashes. Um so that's exhaustion will sit will set in. And I mean bone deep exhaustion. Um and it's way more than just inertia, it's like I don't think I can move, I can barely form words. It's um also emotions will hit. It's not unusual for me to at the end of a two, three, four-day event, although I'll have been really, really buoyant, by the time I start to go into that exhaustion state, I will start to overthink everything and realise again in air quotes that everybody hates me, that I'm really shit, that should never do it ever again. Yeah. And you know, what's this person really thinking? What does that person really think? Oh, paranoia, paranoia, influence. Yeah. And I get stuck in that. So I can be at the end of a really brilliant event. And I'd never in a million years stopped running them because I fucking love them and I know they serve people, but I also know that every now and then, well, I'm always gonna get to the end and crash, but every now and then I'm gonna get to the end and physically crash, mentally crash, and be convinced that I am the worst person on the face of the planet, and my emotions will bring me down even further. Yeah. And it's that crash can sometimes almost be it's almost like being catatonic. It's just you know, I've explained it to to to paraphrase Buffy, and I know I'm I'm I'm not quite um quoting it correctly because I don't believe fire is bad, but fire, hot, tree pretty is as as far as I can go. How are you? And if I just say fire, hot, tree pretty, people know to you know, get me a cup of tea, put a blanket around me, give me a hug, or just leave me be, and it's like I need to thaw.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

So that's definitely one of the negatives because it's not just your dopamine butt bottoms out, but also so many of your other bodily chemicals that keep you on top of things all dip at the same time. It's like um it's like the you know the scene in Jason and the Argonauts, where they have the talus. Is it talus, the big bronze soldier, and they unscrew the the nut at the the bottom of his heel.

SPEAKER_02 19:29

And the steam comes out.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

The steam comes out and he just collapses, and that's what it's like.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

That's what it's like.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Yeah, that's the good way of describing it. See, I struggle to describe things for me, but I think we often say that we we experience things very differently. We we talk about that a lot, don't we? Yeah, because we're opposite ends of that spectrum in many ways.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

Um I'm ADHD combined type with some autistic elements, but not enough to be classed as all DHD. We suspect you're combined but more towards the inattentive side and more on the autistic scale. We suspect at some point. Well, like you know, dear listers, if she ever decides to actually go and get it. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. I'm not sure about that. It's it's it's everybody's choice. And that's another point, isn't it? To go back to where this started. So many people who are saying, you know, you owe it to the world to go and get diagnosed. Why? If you don't want to, don't do it. I was convinced I wasn't going to get diagnosed. The only reason I went down the diagnostic route was I knew I would want to help other people with whether with whatever I discovered, which has been my pattern throughout. So if I go through something, I want to be able to go, okay, how can I flip my negatives on this and how can I use it to help other people?

SPEAKER_02 20:38

Yeah. And you'll geek out like you do geek.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

I will geek out, I hyperfocus on it. One of the first things I did after diagnosis was go and write this big report on, you know, ADHD late late diagnosis, ADHD in women and how that ties into perimenopause. Yeah. Doesn't mean it is perimenopause. But I knew that if I wanted to start talking about this more openly, if I hadn't been diagnosed, I'd got all the backlash from the people who say it's not real and I have no put no right spoken out about it because I'm not diagnosed.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

Do you think I should be quiet then? I shouldn't say any more, Taz, because I haven't got an official diagnosis.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

No, I think again, to each their own. I think, genuinely, there is enough out there now that if you are, you know. And that doesn't mean you're just going to watch lots of TikTok videos and say, oh yeah, I did that too. You know. Best example of that, we bumped into an old work colleague that we knew through networking in the middle of Marks and Spencer's sometime sometime last year. And somehow we got talking about ADHD. And she said, But don't you think we're all a bit ADHD? No. No, I said, I think I think we all have we we may all have traits that are also part of ADHD. But we live with it every day. And she says, Well I'm I ha I'm sure I have uh have have ADHD just as that I think everybody has it. I j I just when it's Not serving me, I just choose to switch it off. Well that's the difference, then isn't it? I can't switch off my ADHD when it doesn't suit me. I it it's it's with me all the time. And to go on to that that negative uh side again with how it's impacted me, it's definitely impacted my health because I've done too much and too much and too much and burned out too many times.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Well we said that didn't we looking at it now that you've been in burnout for not just months but years and years. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

And um I've lost work through it because I've just missed appointments because time management, executive function, it's just gone completely out of my head and I've realised too late. Not done that for a long, long time now because I've built lots of scaffolding to make sure that doesn't happen. I have alarms set everywhere for everything, and it's one of the reasons that I schedule my days as I do because I'm in one place, I'm ready to do the work, um, and I tend to do things in blocks. I will have a day that's all admin, a day that's all coaching. But if I try and mix the two, then I'm gonna be latent all over the place.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

Again, there's that thing about focusing on, you know, focusing on working a certain way to one way at a time for you, which will make it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Um but this is also where so many women in particular, because women are better at masking statistically, don't realise they have it because they've built the scaffolding. When did you last miss an appointment? Well, I don't. Well, why do you how do you not how do you not miss the appointments? Because I've got um an alarm set on Alexa, I've got an alarm set on Siri, I've got it in my iPhone calendar, I've got it on on emails, I've got you know I've got my other half to to ring me ten minutes before. I've got it written in my desk diary. Right, but if you didn't have those tools to help you remember, would you be able to? Or to look at that another way, why do you need all of those reminders? Because I'd miss it if not.

SPEAKER_02 23:59

Yeah, and to give a classic example, so today we're recording this on a Thursday. Our bin day is a Friday, so it's every week is bin day on a Friday, every week is recycling on another day, and yet I still have to put it in to Alexa because otherwise I will get to Friday afternoon and go bye.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

And also, I have lived in that house for for two decades plus, along with you, and I would not have a clue what day bin day was without asking to or recycling.

SPEAKER_02 24:29

No, but no, but but I get it, but I used to be, but sometimes I won't always remember it. Most of the time I will, but there's always that chance. I say most of the time, it's 50-50. But I will lose track of the days. Yeah, and I know that if I've got that to remind me, I'll get this little voice saying rubbish.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

What are some of the other things that happen? Um, I had my reminder come through to tax my car a few weeks back, went to tax my car, and although it is definitely MOT'd until the beginning of March, um it it couldn't find it on the system. I've got a mini, so it's electronic, and for whatever reason the the government site wasn't communicating with the mini site. That's fine, so I think I'll I'll just pop to the garage and do something, do whatever. Went to turn on my mini, and because I haven't driven it for such a long time, because we've been using yours and yours blocks mine in. And I'd said to you, hadn't I? I had really turned to the engine over a few times, but just not taking it for a run.

SPEAKER_02 25:23

I was just gonna say, because what uh the AA man had said to me about stop and stop engines.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

My we now know my battery is buggered. And so then I had a massive meltdown because I realised I've got this to do, this, to do, this, to do this, to do this, to do this, to do this to do, and then went, oh my god, I haven't sorted out the car. I now need to get it booked in for another MOT so that I can get it taxed, but I can't get it taxed until I've called out the AA and got a new battery for it because I can't move it off the drive. And we're supposed to be having one of the trees lopped in the garden. I wonder if he needs the cars to be moved to get the tree. Oh my god, oh my god! And everything piled on at once, and like what's a series of little issues became huge. And not only that, but the police are gonna turn up at my door and arrest me because I haven't taxed my car. What? Really? It's on the drive, it's off what it's off-road. Do I need to go and get a sawn? It's probably not gonna be off-road long enough for that. Can I get away with yeah, probably? It's not like I can drive it anywhere. But things like that, number one, the fact that I'd forgotten all of those things, executive function. Number two, the fact that I had such a big meltdown worrying about it. WTF. All of these things. And the timekeeping.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

My entire life has been spent trying to show up to places on time or early and struggling, and being berated so much by people who believe that if you cannot turn up on time, then you clearly don't respect them enough. And it's callous.

unknown 26:53

Really?

SPEAKER_02 26:53

And you don't call callous, that's a big word.

SPEAKER_00 26:56

Absolutely. Yeah. That's ridiculous. Yeah. And I could not understand I just can't do it. So I've either got to turn up ridiculously early, or I'm usually tardy, or I'll set an alarm in my phone for earlier than the time needs to be. Yeah, classic, when we have a hairdresser's appointment today, like like we've had earlier today. Yeah. We only turn up on time because I put them in 15 minutes earlier than they should be. And then we daren't risk it because I can't actually remember whether I've put it in fifteen minutes early or not.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

And guess what, today, listeners, we were six minutes late, which isn't bad for us.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

So it was twelve forty-five, not one.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

Oh no, no, I don't know if it was meant to be, but I mean we were supposed to get there at twelve forty-five, we got there at twelve fifty-one.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

I suspect that because there was another client in there, we'd put that one in at fifteen minutes.

SPEAKER_02 27:40

I bet she'd I bet she'd put it in forty five. I sometimes do it as well, though. No, I know, between you you've done that. Yeah, it's not a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

But yeah, it's all of these things, and they might sound like silly things that we can laugh off. But they really can be debilitating to be.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

Because the thing is what you've got to be aware of as well, of course, is that then kind of sort of beating yourself up over it for I can't even get this right, I can't do this right, I can't arrive at a place when I say I'm going to arrive at the place, what are they gonna think about me? All of that stuff, you know, if you're not careful, you can really go into that. I know that's been my one of my follies over the years. And can we also just address this nonsense Follies?

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Who uses the word folly? Follies. I discovered to my folly Yeah. Um Can we just also speak for a moment about the amount of people out there who genuinely believe that people are trying to get themselves an ADHD diagnosis because they want the benefits? You know, where they've you know Maddy Alexander Ground, I used to coach, I'm still pals with her, who who was branded Sick Fluencer just for telling people about access to work.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

You know, all of these things. Nobody's gonna want to try and pretend to have ADHD. And frankly, how much are you insulting the very, very clever doctors who know all about your brain?

SPEAKER_02 29:08

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

And who can dine if you think somebody can just pop in there and pour the wool over their eyes?

SPEAKER_02 29:12

I mean that's the thing, the the the lengths that these you know these reports are hugely detailed, hugely. And you know, it takes it can take months, if not years, for that to come through to speak to a range of professionals, and we need to think about that too. It's not something that you can just go and tick a box and you've done it. It's a real and it's then also that aftercare and support too is so important for people. Something else that's really important to say, isn't it? Because I think that varies depending on who you you go to, but yeah, it's so important.

SPEAKER_00 29:39

And it's like the whole access to work thing, you know. Um have I applied for that? Yeah, I applied for it about two years ago. I've only just had the first one of the calls, and it's not like I'm gonna be expecting thousands of pounds, but to be fair, there are tools that would help me to stay on top of things and help me to avoid overwhelm in my day-to-day working environment. And if I'm entitled to them as somebody has been paying into the system for years, would I like to get some support just in the areas where it's genuinely needed? Yeah, of course. That's no different to being employed somewhere, and if you've got back pain having a particular seat, or maybe maybe you've got issues with your wrists and you need one of those wrist supports in front of your keyboard, well what whatever it happens to be. So I'm not expecting to get tens of thousands of pounds that's just gonna sit and pay for a holiday. But if I can get some additional support that is legitimate, that will help me to create more with my business, which will then mean I'll be paying more into tax and putting more back into the into the into the community, into the world, yeah. I'm open to that, but I'm not gonna take the piss. Who does? But again, nobody's gonna do that just to be on the scrounge, as it were. Number one, I refused to apply to it for it until I'd got a solid diagnosis, even though you can apply without one. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I do believe the the issue is the the system, we're not diagnosing people quickly enough and taking it seriously enough. That would get rid of that backlog.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

Um, and I've forgotten what I was saying, that's executive function again. There it is.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

What was I saying? I've gone as well now. Okay, right. So everybody listening right at this moment, please can you just ring in showing this was live, and then we'd be going.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Yeah, number one, I'm not gonna do that as well. Number two, it's taken just under two about about two years, I think, 18 months, two years, something like that, to just get the first initial call back about it.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

So that's not a quick way to suddenly get some money that shouldn't be yours. I'm not expecting yet to get money, I'm expecting to maybe get some tools that would help. And I'm gonna speak to their expert and ask what they would suggest. So all of these things, it's not because of sick fluences in air quotes, and it's not because that people are just trying to cheat the system.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

That's a nice headline though, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00 32:02

No more than anybody else might. There's always gonna be a a a slim proportion of the population who are gonna take the piss. But let's not tell you.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

It's a great it makes a great headline here in Viticum. Great.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

And you know, we could talk forever and a day about all of the genuine issues with ADHD and ha for that affect different people, you know, right through from from again all the executive function through to more personal elements of life that that can really be impacted. It is real, but here we are talking about the negatives and to come full circle. So can we call it a superpower? If that feels right for you, yeah. Why not? Well, I said to you earlier, if you could if somebody could wave a magic wand and and cure you in air quotes, would would you do it? No. No. No, that wouldn't. I know exactly where I am and who I am. In fact, on more than one occasion when I've been doing something like a daily gratitude list to just try and manage my mindset a lot more, I've listed my ADHD. Because it gives me this amazing creativity. It gives me this endless supply of crazy bonkers, brilliant ideas.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

You know, it enables me to think outside the box. It g it it creates really deep intuition that I swear really helps with my coaching. It's it gives me the ability to dive deep into something and to really geek out on something so that I know it inside and out. We can't control when and how that happens. But there's so much, the quirkiness, the ideas, the creativity. I would not want to not be ADHD.

SPEAKER_02 33:44

And it's you said and even on questioning on that, we can to an extent control when and what happens. We can. There are there are tools out there, many tools, and many individuals, many organisations now that can help us with that.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

So we can't solve everything, but we can certainly help make our life a little bit I think what I meant by that is let's say that we're working for somebody else and there's a report that needs doing that we find boring as batshit, yeah. You can't just suddenly go into hyperfocus with it because it's something that you will be completely disinterested in. Right, okay. But if it's something that we're interested in, we can super absorb.

SPEAKER_02 34:19

Yeah. Yeah. There's so many, so many amazing things about it. So I think it's got to be an individual's choice, but I don't I also don't think it's for us to take that away from someone. If that's how they want to see it, and that's that feels right for them, then it absolutely should be right for them and we should be allowed to say it and have that that approach.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

My ADHD is a superpower, and that does not mean there are not negatives. Is Superman a superhero? Yeah, but still kryptonite. No, don't call yourself a hero superhero because kryptonite You know? Yeah. We have kryptonite, but I choose to call it a superpower. If you choose not to call it a superpower, that's fine. If you choose to see it as a disability and brand it as such, that's fine. I I choose not to. But each others It does not make me right and you wrong. Yeah. And let's stop telling people how they can and cannot work with their own ADHD. And if part of the issue with with people calling it us the superpower is that we fear that that's going to be taken out of context or it's gonna be diminished in the eyes of of some people, then the job is one of education, not in trying to make people to stick to a particular rhetoric that suits your mindset. Education, education, education. We need to educate people about what it actually means and how it can impact lives and businesses, not tell people how they need to frame it.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

It it needs that discussion, doesn't it, with a variety of people for a neurodivergent, actually, you know, sharing their daily, their weekly, their monthly lives what life is like for them in those moments of challenge and also in those moments of great joy and celebration. There's loads of those too. I'd love to see that actually. I'm I'm I'm amazed that nobody's really, you know, really done that yet, as far as I'm aware, in terms of like media. We've got some celebs, haven't we, that have started to talk about it. Chris Packham, who did some fantastic documentaries. Yeah, Jim Carey. Yeah. There's plenty. Yeah, but it's we need more of that, I think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

And we need more open discussions instead of shooting people down and trying to put people into boxes. Because if anybody does not fit in a box, it's those of us who are part of the Neurodivergent tribe. And on that note. What do you think? Shall we wrap it there? I think so, don't you? We would love to hear your feedback. Please do message us, find or somebody off topic on on the channels on social media, or find Asher and I on our own social media channels, Asher Clearwater, Taz Thornton, and please do share your thoughts on this. We would love to dive in deeper at another time.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

But until then, we will see you next Tuesday. You've been listening to Awesome New Off Topic. Follow or subscribe to make sure you don't miss the next one. We're after Millwater and Tad Fountain, and we'll be back soon.