The Courage to Change: Stacie Acox's Story

What happens when the life you planned isn't the life you end up living?

In this episode of The Community Mic, mental health therapist Stacie Acox shares the twists, setbacks, and unexpected opportunities that shaped her journey. From dreams of becoming a lawyer to helping people heal through therapy, Stacie reflects on motherhood, loss, personal growth, and the importance of staying open to change.

Through laughter, honesty, and a few emotional moments, Stacie reminds us that growth isn't always comfortable—but it can lead us exactly where we're meant to be.

Transcript

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Okay, today we have Stacey Acox. Do you want to give us your quick elevator speech before we get into it? So, like who you are super quick. Well, I currently am a mental health therapist at a community mental health center. Love it. Been doing that for about four years. Been in mental health for my kid, my oldest is 18, also for probably about 15 years. Born and raised council bluffs, haven't left. Not because I don't want to, but because, well, five kids, finances, all that fun stuff. Child of a single parent, have five of my own. Uh I yeah, I don't know. What else do you want to know? Because that's that's me in a nutshell. That's a perfect nutshell. That's all we want. And because we're gonna dig into it later. Oh yeah. So that's that's the perfect elevator speech. Okay, so our first question What's a boring fact about yourself? A boring fact? Lord. I am pretty boring. Like I'm I'm very like I think you're interesting. I'm 42, but I feel like I'm in an 80-year-old woman's body. Not because like physically I feel that way, but I like to stay at home. Like I I nothing wrong with it. I just that that's me. That's the fact. If I'm not at work, more than likely I'm at home. Because I just don't want to go anywhere to do anything after a long day. There's nothing wrong with that. Going out costs money. Agreed. All right. So this is our favorite question. Oh boy. So um, if you were to be eaten by any animal, what would it be and why? If I were to be eaten by any okay, not if I ate the animal, but if I were the one to be eaten. No, that's a hard one. Like my initial instinct was bear because they're big and they cover a lot of ground in a little bit of time, and I'm lazy and I don't like to run. So it probably would be a bear if it wasn't my dog. There you go. That's quick. Now my dog is friendly. My dog loves people, but he just jumps and scratches and licks, so it would be more like a licking to death, not necessarily eating, but that's not the way to go. No. That's too slimy. No. Where does your story begin? Well, how far back do you want me to go? Your story can be classified as whatever you want it to be classified. Some people count their second story, some people count from the way beginning. Yeah. Whatever you want your story to be. Yeah. Okay. That's ooh, you shouldn't have told me that because now I gotta think. Well, I mean, I guess my story starts like, you know, elementary school, I always, you know, raised by a single parent, like I always wanted to, I knew I wanted to do something. I always knew I wanted better. Because that's, you know, as and that's what my mom wanted for me too. Like, you want better for your kids. And so I went from, I remember in kindergarten, I wanted to be a uh I wanted to be a pediatrician. And then I decided I wanted to be a teacher, and I held on to that for a minute. Then I wanted to be a lawyer, and that stuck with me till like, well, after law school said, no, we don't want you to come. That test is real hard, by the way. That doesn't surprise me about you at all. Like being a lawyer does not surprise me at all. And I still well did I'll you know what? Don't distract me. Let me let me finish. And so that was my whole goal. I went to Creighton because I was going to go to Creighton's Law School. That like that was the plan. And then it was either junior year or senior year after I took the LSAT for like the first I took it the first time. Send everything in. They're like, nope, sorry. So I took it two more times and didn't really improve. So I was like, what do I do? Where do I go? So then I went to work for an internet retail company and was there for like two or three years. And I was like, I'm bored. This is not what I went to school for. What the heck do I do? Downtime, I'm looking at the computer and I'd had Jackson by this time. He was like two, I think. There was a job open at the FBI. Not a special agent job, but it was for something related to like psychology and a therapist for the FBI. And I'm like, okay, I can do that because I'm too old and out of shape, but I can do that. So that got me to go to grad school. And then I don't know why I didn't follow through. I I did go to grad school. I did get my therapy degree. I think it was because I left that job while I was in school and got a job working for a behavior um a school with behavioral health and mental health kiddos, you know, all the special ed kids. Oh, cool. Stayed there for almost 13 years. Wow. Wow. And then you know, I worked as a classroom aide, and then finally there was a therapist position open. I was there for like and that for like three or four years, and then now I'm at my new job. Yay. We love you there. Yay! But that's always good. Yeah, we like you there. That's awesome. What happened with the FBI? Didn't want to go back up to that. By the time I got out of school and got everything done, the position wasn't open anymore. If the position was open that long, that would be really sad. That would be like I just got an email from Indeed saying, like, hey, there's this position open in Omaha, and I'm like, I'm I considered it, but I'm like, I like my hours and I like my job. And I make about the same as I would there. What experiences or moment in your life have shaped who you are today? There's a few. Let's see. I mean, most recently, honestly, COVID. I know that's been like what it's over now, but it shaped a lot of people's lives. It shaped how our modern world is. It's like pre-COVID and post-COVID is how you measure time now. Well, and so I think about from the perspective of I lost my uncle, who was perfectly healthy before that happened. Um, I'm trying to think what grade he was in. But my oldest, who's a senior, he like, he got like his eighth grade graduation taken away from him not getting into law school because if I had, I wouldn't be here. No. But now being here, I want to go back to law school. But instead of being the prosecutor, like I want to go work for the public defender because there are those people out there, like a lot of the patients we work with. That just because you don't have a home or you don't have money or you don't have whatever doesn't mean you're any less entitled to good representation. Um, being raised by a single parent like that taught me a lot. The drive, the determination, the you know, ta I know why things happen the way they did. But that's also part of why I'm such an independent person, why I have such a hard time trusting people and relying on people and asking other people for help because I'm like I can take care of it myself, I don't need you. And in reality, 90% of the time I can't, but I like to think I can't talk about it to them, and I do it anyway. I love that. I love that because I connect with you so well on that. Uh I was also raised by a single parent. So for me, it's that's hard, like asking for help. I think that's the biggest thing. Like knowing that I'm already like down, I'm like, it's okay, I'll get up. It's fine. And even my therapist is like, no, no, no. Like, ask for help. It's like, okay. Right. Like telling people you need to ask for help, telling my kids you need to ask for help, it's okay. But yet not doing it, it's kind of like the doctor who says quit smoking, and then you leave and you see them out there, you know, yeah, buffing away. Yeah. That's so hard. Do as I say, not as I do. That's okay. It's such a hard concept, though. It's really hard. Okay, who or what has been the biggest influence in your path and why? That's a great question. There's been a lot of people. That's okay. You can name them. I mean, you got my mom who just by being a single parent and watching her go through I still I have this very vivid memory of her. I think it was medical assisting school, Iowa Western. She was at our kitchen table doing her homework, and I had this toy ironing hoard. Very clear memory. Had it set up, went and got my little toddler chair or my preschool, whatever chair big enough for me. And I sat down and had to like I was doing homework. I had no homework to do, but so I like so that there was a guy I used to go to church with who is still a very prominent, well, I view him as very prominent anyway, attorney in the community and watch, you know, and just like he was my example for wanting to go to law school and like wanting to, you know, to go where I went and do all those things. I had a couple of professors in school, in college. I had a priest, Father Kestermeyer, he was great, my best English teacher, so good. He, and here's what made him so great is even after like helping us get through his class, even if we weren't his advisement students, he still had one of his assignments for us to go meet with him to make sure we were on the right path. Graduation, I had Jackson, I think Jackson was like two years old. We he would still invite me once a month to go bring Jackson, go over to dinner at the um at the Jesuit residence hall over there. And he would give advice. Like, I was he's got a lot of energy. Let's get him into drama. Let's, you know, you should do this, do that when he gets older. So he was one, my uncle, absolutely, that passed away. Very tolerant, very like Is this the one who loved the Beatles? Yes, yes, the one whose picture is in my office. It's got a bad picture of him walking across. Oh yeah, the one who loved the Beatles. So him, great man, educator, martial artist. Like he was so when Chuck Norris died recently, I was like, oh my God, it's like my uncle died all over again. Lord, who else? I mean, there's a there's a lot of people that I know that I'm just I'm not naming those are the ones that are specifically coming to mind. My grandparents, definitely my mom's parents, that spent a lot of time with him growing up as a kid. I live in their house now. Yeah, there's a lot. That's good though. That is amazing. That you can recognize that. And so there's more I'm forgetting. So it whenever you whoever is listening, I did not intentionally forget you. It's just there's just so much. It and we don't have all that time. But it's awesome like to have to recognize that you have had all of that support surrounding you and to say it out loud, you know, because sometimes I feel like we forget about them. And I yeah, and we're lucky. Oh my God, this is something. But I actually want to go back because you mentioned on how like you held on to wanting to be a teacher, an educator for a long time. What happened? I honestly don't even remember. It was like second or third grade. And for some something switched then, and I don't know what it was. Like growing up, I my mom worked nights, so my grandparents, I spent during the school week, I spent all my time there. So that way I wouldn't have to like she come get me, wake me up, and like that whole thing. And my grandma loved murder she wrote, she loved Matlaw, which I still love to this day. And so I don't know if like it's that I became more aware then or exactly what it was, but something just switched. Because I've had great educators in my life, but my third grade teacher before I switched schools, the third grade teacher I had was not a nice person, was not a good teacher. So I don't know if that maybe had something to do with it. Looking back, it could. Yeah. That's interesting because I so that's that's what I wanted to be when I was little. Like I always dream like, I don't want to be a teacher. And then out of nowhere, I'm like, I do not want to be a teacher. Are we twins? I never wanted to be one. I was like, I don't want my class, it was a naughty class, and I was like, I never want a class like my class because we're too naughty. Like my class made teachers retire. Yeah. So I was like, no. What is a misconception people often have about your work or your story? So the part that the misconception about my story, because there's I've got the story and we've got what I do. The story is child of a single parent, oh, you're worthless, you don't have like just the the general stereotypes. Like you're not gonna make anything, you're not gonna do it, you're on welfare. No, that's that's not like that's not the case. You're well educated and successful. Right. My mom always told me to not use that as an excuse for why I could not do something. But when it came to applying for scholarships and all that, she was like, use it because that will get you the money. And that's the same thing I told Jackson too. I'm like, use any part of to get what you need. And I'm like you said, I'm not decently educated. Well educated. It found feels weird for me to say that, but I'm well educated. Technically, you are well educated. I have a good job. I just just paid off my car. Woo! Good job. Um own my own home. Well, pay a mortgage for it, but you know what I mean? Yeah, congratulations. Yeah. And by statistics, I shouldn't be. Statistics, I should be in government housing. And not that I didn't use those things when I needed to. Yeah. You know, unemployed. Yeah, we were on Medicaid. Yeah, we had food stamps for my work, though. A lot of the times, all you do is listen to people. I couldn't be a therapist. No, it's not. All I do is listen to people. I mean, yes, that's a good part of it and conversation, but when you have somebody coming to your office and tell you that they were sexually assaulted as a five-year-old, or they were trafficked from five to ten, or you know, different things like that. Like it's not just listening and talking to people. That's heavy. You then have to sit with that. And getting outside of that, and it's like turning it off as soon as I walk out the door and going home is hard because when they tell me or they have kids who these things have happened to or whatnot, it's hard for me to get out of that space. But it's not just like, oh, you just sit at a desk all day and talk to people. And no, that's not what it is. My husband is finally starting to learn that that's not what it is. But for the longest time, he was, oh, that's all you do. I'm like, no, that is not all I do. I sit in, I listen, I talk, I do. Oh, well, that's not hard. That is, it's mentally exhausting. It is like that's heavy, heavy stuff to sit with. And I highly respect that. Thank you. Because it takes, it takes a lot. Like, I for me, when it comes to a mental health therapist, I'm like, or just anyone that is on that realm, I respect so much because I'm like, you know, I went through so much that I that once I started seeking help, that's when I started getting better. But then I also started thinking, like, is she going to be okay with my story? You know, because it's just so much and it's so packed. And I remember asking my therapist once, and I'm like, hey, like, how do you how do you deal with it? And then she's like, We have therapists too. Like, we once a week, you know, we get together and we go on our little, you know, one-on-ones and we talk about the things because it's just there's stuff that we're like, oh my god, how am I going to hold on to that? Especially when it, you know, it's um those big stories. Right. So they have to talk about them. And I'm just like, I respect it so hard. Yeah, we do we do the same thing we do once a week or once a month. I should say we have our one-on-one with our supervisor to talk about any cases or whatever, and then other stuff. Then once a month we have a case consultation where we sit and like, okay, I have this hard case, like what do I do? Kind of a thing. But then we really just bounce it off of each other, like, this was really rough today, or you know, and then it it's just really hard because you want to like talk to somebody, like your coworkers who get it, but then again, at the same time, you're like, You've had a hard day too, so I don't want to burn you. And then so I mean, yeah, and therapists have their own therapist. So do you have like a routine or a ritual you do at the end of the day to like unburden yourself? Because when I was a CNA, I knew somebody, they'd touch their tree every time they got home to be like, I'm I'm letting it go, I'm done. This is this is my sign, I'm done for my day. And they would do that every day when they got home. So do you have something like that? Well, when I have the car, because we have one car, and so I at lunchtime take it home, drop it off, get brought back. And so my husband comes and picks me up. But when I have the car all day and I'm leaving, as soon as I get in that car, I turn, I crank the radio. There's a very specific, there's a few songs that I will like listen to depending on what kind of mood I'm in, but they're all like very upbeat and like so just I just jam out my car. But when honestly, when I get home, I just go to the bathroom. Five kids, it's hard to get whatever. So I know like I will sit in there and I will just like and then I change into my pajamas and I'm ready to go. Lucky, they don't follow you around. Oh no, they do. Like the Jackson, he will, he's usually either out, depending on the day, at work, at tennis, or he's like doing his own thing because he's had a long day. The other, the three middle ones, the elementary kiddos, they will, hi mama, and then they already know. The three-year-old is the only one who sometimes, because she can open a door, so it doesn't matter if I shut it or not. What impact do you hope your story has on others who are listening? It's never too late to change paths, no matter what. Like, even if your plan goes, I don't want to say goes sideways, but like if it doesn't go as planned, pivot and you'll be fine. Like it may not, and there's no shame in saying, you know what, I wanted change. My views have changed. Like there's no shame in that. Because if you would have asked me, my political views were very, very different than you know, than what they are now. My religious views were very different than what they are now. And since having my child and then getting married and having more children, and now like getting into the work that I do and like all those things impact you just because when you were five, you wanted to do this and you feel like this is what you have to do because mom says so or dad says, or who no you don't just because and be who you are. Like, even if, you know, say you get married to somebody and you're one way then, and like over the course of oh, I don't know, 12 years of marriage, like your views and your things have changed, that's okay. Like, be who you are, because at the end of the day, if you're not who you are, you're not true to who you are, you're gonna be miserable. But you also need to allow others to do the same thing. That's that's the key. And you have to hope your partner grows as well or they change as well. Because that's hard. Because for me, that didn't happen. That that's the reason why I'm separated. You know, our views weren't and you have nothing to do with religion or anything like that, but we weren't growing together. I feel like I grew up more, and that's when I'm like, I can't do this. It was just, it was chipping little bits of me little by little, and then I'm like, no, no, it's fine. I have my son, like I have to stay, you know, because that's that's our huge thing in Hispanic culture. Like you have a family, like keep the family together. And it became really hard because I stayed for three more years, and I'm like, I can't do this anymore. We can't because it it is hard. And then I started thinking, what is that going to look like for my child when they grow up and they're with someone that they don't feel like they're growing with anymore. You know, I don't want him to stay just because they have kids and it's gonna be fine, it's gonna be okay. So yeah. Oh my god, I feel like I feel like you're talking to me. Oh, okay. It's you also have to make sure you're like sometimes I feel like we're PJ and I are growing, but sometimes I feel like I'm growing at a faster pace, but his growth looks different than mine. Oh yeah. Like he grows like a tree where his roots are deep, and he grows at a very slow, deep path that I don't always see. But I grow like a perennial where I grow up and out. I have roots, but I grow up and out. And so you can see what I'm doing, but you can't see what he does. And so sometimes that frustrates me. And so, like, that's the other hard part is you need to like realize are we like, yes, we are growing together, but how are those paths growing? And that's an important point there. Like, as long as you're growing together or you're both growing, that's the key. You may be growing slower than me or differently, or you know, whatever, like you said. But but it I think it also it is also hard to to see the changes as you're growing together, right? Because you're together you're together all of the time. So sometimes you miss those things, but then there's little things that you're like, wait, wait, are they you know, and he I don't know, like you can you after a little bit, you're like, huh, they're also doing it, and that's amazing. Yeah. It's just sometimes you have to think about those things. Because now that I look back, I'm like, we've been together 10 years. I'm like, he is a different person than when he was 10 years ago. I'm a very different person than I was 10 years ago. But he is also different. What's a moment of growth or realization that changed the direction of your life? Oh Lord, those are the kinds of questions that I'm just like, I gotta think. I mean, honestly, one of the first ones was being a mom. Like, okay, now it's not all about me. Now I have to do X, Y. Like, I can't just think about, oh, what's fun? Oh, it's Thursday night. Hey, let's go carry it. I can't do that anymore. I mean, I could, but do you have the energy for it? Not anymore. Two, three or four weeks ago, I took my 10-year-old to his first concert. It was great. I'm not meant for that stuff anymore. I'm so old, but it was a good time. And then the next day I had to get up and take him to get his braces. And I'm just like, oh. And so like I was super excited that two weeks after that, I'm going to another concert. It's on a Saturday. I don't have to get up or go anywhere Sunday. And I'm like, oh, why do I do this? So I have the energy, just my body doesn't anymore. But not like because it takes you outside of yourself. And so honestly, had I not had Jackson to start with, honestly, I probably wouldn't even be a therapist at this point. Because I would have just been like, well, I tried law school and like I didn't feel like I, you know. And when they said no, I was like, I remember very distinctly walking up that hill on 25th in California, being like, why am I here? I don't belong here anymore. What am I doing? Why am I, you know, and then graduation and you know, get jobs and all that. And so I probably would have stayed at the internet company until they either laid me off because I mean call centers are infamous for that, or you know, I found something different. So what got you motivated? I don't know what motivated. I mean, honestly, I think for me it was not wanting him to see, not wanting to see me settle, if that makes sense. Like if it was just me, okay, I don't care. Whatever. I don't care, but like I got like now, I got a kid, now I got now I have to be an exam. Now I gotta do something. You know, it's like, and so then it just has snowballed into that. That is awesome. Now we're here. Yeah, that's amazing. That's a good reason. That's a very good reason. Okay, so what's next? I don't know. That's a good question. You don't need to know. And I don't like the own like what's next is my kid graduates. And so getting him shipped off four hours away. How are you handling that? How many people have you had like ugly cry on the podcast? Because if you ask me that question, I will ugly cry. So many of you have ugly cry right now? Oh included. Yeah, we have ugly cry. Give me a couple weeks, probably not gonna be okay because that's Actual graduation. And then we have the graduation party at the end of June. And then, like the week after the fourth of July, I gotta take I can't talk. I've got to get him up to Cedar Falls. Gotta get him up there to do his orientation. And then comes August and he's gone. So then, like, what does that look like? Like, what it'll be the first time without him. Oh, yeah. Because he's never, yeah. He's never been from home. So scared. It's one thing. Like, I just went from my house to Creighton. Like, oh good. We have oh, he got the good Kleenexes, not the crappy ones that are in my office. Yeah. Um, I know he will be fine. I know I have done my job well. You've raised a great kid. I'm just scared as his mom. I think every mom would be. Yeah. Then it's on to the next one because then he graduates fifth grade this year. And so then he'll start junior high. And what is that gonna mean for him? Junior high looks so different. It does. And he's a oh I love my kid to death, but he's a little turd. And I'm just like, oh, you're going to test me, child. And I have a feeling we're going to be getting lots of calls. Like until this year, I hadn't really had any calls on him from school or emails. This year, it's been a lot. Or it feels like a lot compared to nothing. So I'm like, junior high, what are you gonna do to him? Is he gonna be the bully or is he gonna get bullied? Like, which one is it? Because he won't because you've met him, he won't shut his mouth. I mean, maybe he'll use that power for good and it'll get harnessed into some let's let's call it like something that he can get into. Yeah. I don't know what there is. And then what's next for me? I don't know. I'm not going anywhere. Like then like edu I would love to go get my PhD, but then I can't really do anything job-wise with that, other than I could go teach at the college level. And I really don't want to do that right now. So I don't know. I don't know what's next. You don't have to know. And I don't that'll be a fun ride. Woo! That would be. I don't know. I'm curious, like if you're if you ever would try and go back and become a lawyer. Oh, I a hundred percent would if I could pass the test. How many times have you done it? Done it three times. They said it's gotten even harder. How do you hope your story helps or inspires others? I guess kind of going back to that same question of what do you want someone to learn, or I forget how the question was worded earlier. Change is okay. Because I'm a I'm a very big routine person, like. And so over the last several years, like learning change is okay. Pivot, change your path. If your gut is telling you, I don't want to do this anymore, this isn't what I thought I wanted to be, listen to it. Don't stay stuck there because if you do, you're going to miss out on so much. So many of the good things, like I tell my patients. We be we are comfortable with what we know. And just because it's what we're used to doesn't mean it's okay. If you're in a domestic violence relationship, you're scared to get out. You get out and it's peaceful and things are going great, but then you go back to your abuser. No judgment, but you're going back because that's what's comfortable. And you're over here and you're scared. At least over here, you know the monster you're dealing with. Go after the monster you don't, because that monster is not as scary as you think it is. I love that. I really, really love that. Because I I saw a documentary specifically about that, and that's exactly what they were talking about. They're like, that's the reason why you know that the victim keeps going back. Because that's all they know. And they are they're afraid of the safety, the the peace, because that's all they have always known, the chaos. And I'm like, my God, like that brings up so much for me, just when I was growing up, it just living in the chaos and being there in the middle. That's all I knew. I didn't know what it felt like to not have it. Well, and we're told, I remember I've been told this all my life better the devil you know than the devil you don't. And it's the other way. And it's not that's not always true. What are parts of your journey that you're still writing? Am I gonna go back to law school? What you know, what am I gonna do next? And like, I know it's thinking ahead, but it's not that far off. What am I gonna do when all my kids are gone? Because that's not as long as you think it'll be. It'll go fast. Yeah. Jackson just sent me a message the other day. He's like, Where'd the time go? I was like, huh? Because it was still early in the morning. I hadn't had my first patient yet because they had canceled for something. And I was like, What? He's like, Where'd the time go? I'm graduating in a couple weeks. Like, you need to go into all these things. I'm like, oh, that's what you mean. Okay. How reflective. That's awesome. I know, and I'm like, don't ask me because it went faster for me as your mom. So what legacy do you hope to leave behind? Why are you asking me such hard questions? Geez, that's a good question. I guess it can, and I this isn't this is the only way I can think of to say it, JFK said it best. Ask not what others could do for you, but ask what you can do for your country. So not necessarily country, but what can you do to make to make it a better place? And it doesn't have to be anything big. And that's what I think people think when they hear, like, make a difference. We've got to make it big. You really don't. It can be something as simple as, well, you know, you make a difference by like our marketing genius. A you do it by getting our name out there and by the reels and like by doing all of those fun things. So then we have like I have a relatively new patient who he was telling me the other day, he was like, I would have been here sooner had I known about it. And so you're making the difference by putting it out there so people can know about it. Yeah. Oh, that's that makes me feel good. And like, so for me, but but the difference, just go make a difference. Do something to better your environment, to better yourself, to better your do something better. Because at the end of the day, you can sit out here and complain and do all you want. And like I told Jackson, and I still I tell my husband this if you're gonna see an issue and you're gonna complain about it but not do anything about it, you have no right to complain. If you're gonna complain that leadership sucks and president sucks and whatever, but you're not gonna go vote, even if, well, my vote doesn't matter. Yeah, it does. So do something. Yeah. Like, yeah, take care of yourself. You know, I'm not saying everything, everybody, everything else, forget about you. Find that balance. But whatever it is, whatever you're gonna go do, do it. Stand behind it and don't back down from it. Because when you back start to back down, that's when the problems come in. That's good. Fear wins. Like it always does. Fear does not need to win. No, no. Just makes you a little nervous. Yeah, but I also think like that's another thing like that we have been so used to that we just like, no, no, no, it's it's gonna be fine. I'll just stay right here. Nothing is happening in my little corner. Why do I need to worry about the rest? But then when it starts affecting you, like, wait, this is not right. It's too late at that point. Yeah, I know. I think of I think of the movie Frozen number two. Where I haven't seen the second one. So there's well, spoiler alert, so sorry. Like they finally figure out like kind of what's been going on. Why aren't we having like what is happening? And so they the dam, there's there's a dam that's blocking the water from getting into Arendale. Anyway, a dam and water is involved. Anna is coming, I was like, I gotta make sure I get the right princess, my girls will kill me. Anna comes running across the bridge and she's getting the big rock monsters to throw stuff out because she knows that like if they hit the bridge, they hit the dam, then like everything's gonna be fine. But everybody in Erendale was like, well, you know what, like it's not it's not effective. So what so if you think about like a dam that's coming from the other side, and when it starts to crack on your side, that's when you're gonna be like, oh, it matters. Yeah. Well, before we start to have the cracks, before we start having the rock monsters throw it, go do something about it. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, thanks for joining us. It's been a delight. I'm nothing if not delightful. You are a treat.