How The Gospel Redeems Authority

Most people view authority as something toxic and untrustworthy. But what if the gospel doesn't erase authority—it redeems it? In this sermon from Colossians 3:18-4:1, we explore how Christ's lordship transforms every relationship: marriage, parenting, and the workplace. Discover what gospel-shaped authority looks like when husbands lead like Jesus, wives partner with joy, parents disciple with patience, and employees work as worship. Authority is God's good and dangerous gift—let's see what happens when the gospel gets hold of it.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Well, friends, in our day and age, whenever we touch on the topic of authority, it's a pretty dicey topic for some. If we're honest, when we assess culture, authority is something that most people, I would say, at least here in the West, are suspicious of. Authority is something we don't tend to look kindly towards. It's something we question, something we are suspicious of. And for most of us, that's probably due to one, us having a sinful nature. But two, because many of you in this room, I'm sure, can give an example of someone who had authority over you or someone you were aware of who abused that authority in sinfully harmful ways, which then might have led you to question authority in and of itself. What we're looking at this morning is that topic of authority. Because the gospel, when it transforms us and unites us to Christ, it also transforms every sphere of relationships that we have, including how we view and exercise and submit to the authority that God has placed over us or has entrusted to us. As one author says, authority is better than you think and worse than you think. It is God's good and dangerous gift. So we have to understand authority in and of itself is not evil, just like money, for example, is not evil, it's simply a tool. But the love of money can be sinful. Authority is a good gift designed by God for his divine purposes. However, authority is always delegated, it always is something that is given. Nobody wakes up, or shouldn't rather, nobody wakes up one day and says, you know what, I want to have authority over this group of people. We have a name for that. That's called tyranny, isn't it? Nobody wakes up and says that. But real authority comes from an authorizing agent. And that authorizing agent is ultimately God the Father Himself. If we go back to the garden in Genesis, God created Adam and Eve and told Adam to exercise dominion over the earth, to name the animals. That was God delegating authority to Adam to exercise that authority over his created order. But Adam was accountable to God for how he stewarded that authority. So that right there just pushes back against any of those who make the argument, well, authority is a product of the fall. That is false. Bad authority is a product of the fall, but authority has always been a part of God's design. So when we talk about authority, we're not talking about something as individuals you take. It's something that is given. It's a stewardship, it's a trust by God that he entrusts to his people, to steward, for his glory and for the spiritual flourishing of all those under authority. So it is a responsibility entrusted by God to people made in his image. It's not just power. And I think that's what the world gets wrong. I think many think authority is just power. Even bullies have power. Power doesn't equal authority. Authority is a God-given moral right to make choices. Some people have the right to make choices over kingdoms, over companies, over churches, and even over households. But notice this in the text we're going to look at this morning, specifically verses 18 through chapter 4, verse 1, where Paul starts giving exhortations towards how authority should be utilized within the sphere of human relationships. Notice something very striking about Paul's exhortations. So for those who say, well, the Bible, you know, it's all about the patriarchy, it oppresses women and all these things. When people talk like that, it just shows me they don't know their Bible. Because the reason we have all the beautiful women's rights we have today, the reason we have many of the laws we have in modern society is because of influences from Christian theology. So for example, just in the verses we're looking at today, it would have been very common for Paul to give instructions to those who were under authority, such as the wives, the children, and the slaves in verses 18 through chapter 4, verse 1. But what would have been countercultural is when Paul gives exhortations and commands to those who are in authority, such as the husbands, the fathers, and the masters. But this is in line with what we see in the Bible. In Matthew 20, Jesus made it very clear when he called his disciples over and he said, You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions act as tyrants over them. It must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave. Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. This is why you often hear Christians say that Jesus' kingdom is a topsy-turvy kingdom. It's an upside-down kingdom because it doesn't follow the patterns of the world and our culture. So, in our context for this morning, Paul has been discussing the believers' union with Christ. And as we saw last week, how if you are united to Christ, if he is now Lord of your life, you now live by a new ethic that shapes how you love and serve and do life with other people. And now Paul is addressing this category of authority and saying, if you are united to Christ, this is how that authority of the lordship of Christ should shape how you exercise your authority as a husband, a wife, and a master, and how you live to God's glory if you are under authority. Now keep in mind, all of us love authority. Even if, as I said that, you kind of squirm inside, like, yeah, I don't know, Cam, you do. Because imagine if all forms of authority were just evaporated tomorrow. There was no police force, no military, no civil, local, state government, federal government, there's all authority structures just disappeared. Do you have any idea what the world would look like if that were to be true? If parents didn't have authority, if husbands and wives didn't have authority, if government, we can go on and on, it would be absolute chaos, and we might end up seeing Genesis 6 again. But the big idea I want us to look at this morning is this. When Christ is Lord over all, he transforms how we exercise and submit to authority in every relationship. Look down at verse 18 of chapter 3, and let's just focus on our text uh for this morning. He says, Wives, submit to you your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don't be bitter toward them. Let's just stop there. If you're united to Christ, the gospel redeems authority in marriage. This is what Paul is saying. If you are in Christ, the gospel of Jesus Christ shapes and redeems authority in marriage. Paul starts out addressing wives. Now, many love to go to these verses. They love to go to Ephesians 5 and say, yes, wives, submit. Husbands, love your wives. We get all that. But you better appreciate these verses when you consider their context. What came before, what comes after, what is Paul trying to emphasize? Paul is addressing wives directly. This is very significant in this period of time. You need to keep this in mind, brothers and sisters. By giving instructions to women, he's doing several things. Number one, he's communicating that wives, Christian wives, have agency. They have dignity and worth and value in God's kingdom. This was not a common theme. Just how, for instance, in our culture, everyone loves like puppies, everyone loves pictures of babies and things like that. But it's hard for us to fathom. Yeah, but centuries ago, that wasn't the norm. It was a very different culture. Women didn't have the same rights and dignity as they do today. So the fact that God's inspired word would address women in a Greco-Roman context is very significant. They have an important role and function according to God in his economy. Now, before we get into submission, I think it's helpful to talk about what submission is not. Because again, we tend to have an anti-author authority, you know, posture because of bad examples of authority. And so when we hear words like submit, some of us might cringe a little bit, but like, submit, yeah, I ain't doing that, right? Here's what submission is not. Let me just give three quick bullet points. Christian submission, according to God's word, is not subservience. Subservience means you are, as a wife, being passive, you are inferior to your husband, you have no voice, you have no influence, your identity is wrapped up in him, and so you just are subservient to whatever he says, and that's what goes. That is not biblical submission. That is subservience. Submission is not leaving your brain wives at the altar, as if you have no intellect yourself, as if you have nothing to offer your husband and family. You and God's economy remain a thinking person whose insights are worth hearing, and that God will actually use to help your husband be a more faithful, God-honoring leader. Submission is not avoiding influence. A godly wife who understands scripture seeks to influence her husband toward Christ in righteousness and obedience to God's word. And we gotta be careful as Christians not to use certain statements about marriage that I think dishonor the Lord, such as, oh, the ball and chain comment, or oh, the husband's the head, but the wife's the neck. She can turn him wherever she desires. It's funny, but it's not biblical. That is manipulation. But submission for a godly wife is not avoiding influence, it's actually stewarding her influence to serve her husband and her family to the glory of God. So here's a helpful definition, I hope a helpful definition of biblical submission of a wife. Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership, and actively partner with him in carrying out his biblical vision for the family according to her gifts. Let me just read that again. Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and actively partner with him in carrying out his biblical vision for the family according to her gifts. Now let me just briefly unpack that because every word is significant. So submission is not something the wife just says, Well, do I want to do this or not? It is a divine calling by her Heavenly Father in her role and function as a wife. And it is to honor and affirm her husband's leadership, recognizing he serves in an office called husband, head of the household that God has placed him in. And I am actively partnering with him and carrying out emphasis on his biblical vision for the family according to her gifts. Which means God, we'll get to this in a second, God graciously says, Wives, you submit to the head of your family, your husband, as long as his vision for the family lines up with God's vision for your family as revealed in his word. But notice Paul uses the statement, submit yourselves. This indicates a voluntary choice on the part of the wife. A husband does not have the authority of command, so to speak, in which he can demand obedience from his wife. That is not the role of a husband. Just like as a pastor, I would say, biblically, I have an authority of counsel, meaning my authority is delegated by scripture. I can't tell any of y'all, go home today and paint your bedroom blue, or we're going to practice church discipline on you. I don't have that kind of authority. My authority comes from God's word, to where I can say, hey, brother or sister, this is what God's word requires of you. I encourage and counsel you and exhort you to obey the Lord. And if you choose not to, well, then I will lovingly pursue you as a brother in Christ, whatever that may look like. That is similar to a husband and a parent, a husband's authority and a wife's authority. It is authority of counsel. But notice he says, submit yourselves. This is a voluntary choice on the part of the wife. It helps me to think of godly submission more of a heart posture rather than primarily an action. It is a heart posture that leads to godly actions. So submission is active, it is dignified according to God, and it is voluntary. This is a beautiful thing that God has designed for how wise are to function within their rules in a marriage. Now, how can we uh uh uh agree with the Bible that submission is a beautiful thing? Here's my best argument God the Father is the architect of our salvation. God the Son voluntarily submitted to the Father's will to come to earth and put on flesh, to live a perfect and righteous life, to ultimately lay his life down on behalf of his body, the church, the spirit submits to the Son and applies our salvation through the gift of faith and repentance and regeneration and sanctification, and yet all three are God, and yet they submit to one another. Wise, hear me this morning. When you have a heart posture of godly submission towards your husband, you are like Jesus Christ. That is the most beautiful picture we see in Scripture of God honoring submission. When you submit, you are like Jesus Christ. And this is this is about an umbrella. Think about this. The longer I'm a Christian, I study the Bible, the more I love the local church and God's wisdom and how he designed it. When we submit, we are submitting ourselves under this umbrella of care, this umbrella of protection, this umbrella of intentional discipleship that God has orchestrated for the home. Where he says, Wise, if you submit to your husband who is following Christ, you are entrusting yourself to a structure I have created for your flourishing care, protection, and discipleship. But most importantly, when you submit in a God-honoring way, with a God-honoring heart posture, you truly are like Jesus Christ, who was God in human flesh, and yet submitted to the Father's will, though being equal with God, because he was God in human flesh. So submission is not a cuss word for Christians. Submission is a beautiful function of the home by God's design. But let's notice Paul's words, verse 18. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. What does that mean? This isn't about cultural norms or social order, because that's what some will make. Well, these commands are only for this culture in Paul's day, because this is what helped uh society just flourish. Sure, there are some benefits because, again, if we didn't discipline and train our children, if we didn't love and protect and serve our wives, if we didn't submit to our husbands, society would be in absolute shambles, worse than it already is. But by God's common grace, he created these structures for our flourishing. However, these commands have absolutely nothing to do with the cultural norms. Again, all of this is rooted. The role and functions of a husband and a wife are rooted all the way in the created order in Genesis. This is not a product of the fall. It's about what fits those, what's fitting of those who live under Christ's Lordship. Wives honor the Lord when they submit to their husbands as their husband is following Christ. Which means, wives, this is how much God loves you. He gives you this command, submit to your husband's headship, but then he also gives some parameters, doesn't he? He says, submit as is fitting to the Lord. What that means is, wives, you follow his leadership for your family until he's leading contrary to Scripture. If he is leading contrary to God's revealed word, well then you have reached an impasse. And the most loving thing, wives, you can do for your husband is not to submit to any exhortation from your spouse that is contrary to God's word. And just keep in mind, if you do pivot away, you're not disobeying your husband. You are actually still submitting to him and honoring the Lord. You're saying, husband, I honor the seat that you hold as the head of our home, but I ultimately report to Jesus Christ. And what you're asking of me is clearly, according to God's word here, I believe sinful and brings dishonor to the Lord. Therefore, I cannot submit to that. And as a matter of fact, that is the most God-honoring thing a Christian wife could do. Because number one, you are not married to a perfect man. Don't amen too loud. You are not married to a perfect man, which means God will be using you, wives, as an instrument for your husband's discipleship to expose areas of weakness, lack of wisdom, lack of maturity to help him become the godly man that God and you desire him to be. So therefore, wives, you are to submit as long as he is following Christ. Not according to whether you think he's following Christ, according to you, how you think the Bible should be interpreted, but according to God's word. Titus 2.5 captures this well when Paul says, speaking of wives and mothers, that they are to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God's word will not be slandered. Think about that. According to Paul, if a godly wife is not submitting to her husband's godly leadership, she is actually bringing reproach on the word of God. She is giving a false portrayal of godly submission and headship in the home. So, wives, I've been a pastor long enough, I have counseled long enough to sometimes see hard situations in the home that most people will probably never hear about, where women are just internally suffering and pain. And sometimes their husbands say, You cannot go to the church, you cannot talk to the pastors about my leadership and what's going on. I just want to encourage you, if that is ever you, if you ever know a sister in that situation, the most loving thing that sister can do is disobey her husband's counsel because he is leading contrary to God's word, and she should seek the help of her marriage through her local church. This is why authority as a Christian is a topic that's very passionate to me. Because I firmly believe everyone in this room has been, you've heard me say this before, everyone in this room has been entrusted with a measure of authority. Entrusted. It's delegated to you. I don't care what your role is in the world, whether you're married, whether you're single, whether you have empty your emptiness or it does not matter. We all have a measure of authority entrusted to us by God, especially us men, that we are to steward to the glory of God and for the spiritual flourishing of all those who are under our authority. And as we do that, with God's help as flawed, broken sinners, we are giving people a picture of what Jesus is like. We are showing people this is how Jesus stewards his authority. This is how Jesus cares for those under his authority. This is how Jesus cares for with great intentionality those whom he loves. But whenever we disobey the Lord and we abuse our authority and we manipulate, we are lying about the heart of Christ. We are saying this is how Jesus abuses his authority. This is how Jesus treats people to get what he wants out of them. This is why this is an important topic. But notice again, just all the provision in God's word, he is very clear to the wives that they are to submit themselves to your husbands. Which means wives are not to submit to any and every man. You submit to your husband, whom God has providentially placed in your life as your head. Which again would have been a little countercultural in a society where the patriarchy was a real thing, where men had authority just willy-nilly over women and children. Paul says, no, no, no, no, no. In God's economy, wives, you submit to your husband, and as we're going to get to in a second, husbands, they got some instructions too. But let me give a brief word, though, to all the singles in the room. Headship and submission begin in a marriage covenant, not in a dating or engagement relationship. I would say biblically, there are only three categories of human relationships. There's family, your blood relatives, there's neighbor, your brother and sister in Christ, and then the marriage covenant. So until you are married, you are in the neighbor bucket. And we are to treat each other like brothers and sisters in the faith. However, don't check out this morning if you are single, as if these texts don't apply for you, because you may be surprised by God's grace. And then in the future, you will find yourself married and as a mother and Father, but I would encourage you: are you striving to cultivate the type of godly character needed to lead a wife and kids now, before you're married? Ladies, are you cultivating the type of godly character and virtue and understanding of God's word to one day disciple children and to be a godly wife? If you're single, have you studied diligently the scriptures to understand what is the covenant of marriage? What is a covenant? What are the role and functions of a husband and a wife and a mom and a dad according to the Bible? I say this because there has been so many Christians who I think approach romantic relationships just like the world, and they enter into marriage before ever doing these things. And it's almost like you're flying the plane, you're building the plane as you fly it. It's like, no, you want to have a robust understanding of God's word on these things so that when you enter into such a covenant, you have a firm grasp of what God requires of me. And let me give, let me give y'all some tips on what type of man you should be looking for, ladies, men, what type of man you should strive to be. Here's something everyone should just look at. The qualifications of an elder in the New Testament. Here's why. The qualification, first of all, none of you would read, I would hope not, none of you would read the qualifications of an elder and go down that list and say, nah, I don't want to be that. I don't want that in my life. I'm good. But an elder is not perfect, but it's to be an example to their flock of what it looks like to follow Jesus. Which means the qualifications of an elder for a local church are really godly character traits that every church member should be pursuing. Not like the elders are up here in tier one and we're all down here. It's like, no, God has placed these broken people in our lives to give us an example of what it looks like to follow Jesus so that we can keep growing in those traits ourselves. So, ladies, men, I would encourage you to look at those passages, and that's the type of person you should be striving to be and to look for in a future spouse. Or to put it in my short version, run hard after Jesus and look to your left and right and see who's running alongside you, and that's a good place to start. But with that being said, one more, one more word for the singles. If you are pursuing someone towards a covenant of marriage, until you are married, what we've talked about so far does not apply to you. Ladies, you are not to submit to your fiance or whoever you're dating, and vice versa. Man, you are not the spiritual head of the person you're romantically pursuing. You are brothers and sisters in Christ until you enter into a marriage covenant. All right, that's my sidebar. Moving on. Now, Paul addresses the husbands in verse 19. Husbands, love your wives and don't be bitter toward them. Let me start with a diff definition of male headship in the home. I would say headship is a husband's divine calling to take primary responsibility for Christ-like servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home. Are you tracking with me? A husband's divine calling, uh headship, male headship is a husband's divine calling to take primary responsibility for Christ-like servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home. God places response, primary responsibility in the lap of a Christian husband to take the primary initiative to lead his family towards righteousness. That is not debated. That is clearly revealed in scripture. Men don't have the right to abdicate that responsibility and chuck it to their wives. If you do, that is sinful because you were not fulfilling God's design. The most loving way you can serve your family is to take primary responsibility for Christ-like servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home. And provision does not mean primarily financial, it means discipling intentionally all those under your care. Now, let me just address some cultural misunderstandings I think a lot of us men have as Christian husbands and fathers. Leadership in the home is not about competency. It's not about competency. Your wife may be smarter, she may be more gifted, she may be more educated. That has nothing to do with how you lead as a Christian husband. Leadership is about initiative. Headship in the home for the Christian man can look like a husband with an eighth-grade education leading family devotions by saying, kids gather at the table. Wife, would you read this scripture? I explain it and let's pray. That is headship. Leadership isn't eloquence, it isn't education, it isn't this competition of, well, do I know more than my wife? kind of a thing. It's you, husband, taking primary initiative to love your family and to take primary responsibility to make sure your family is following the Lord your God. That is headship. It's taking initiative to point your family to Christ. And notice what command do the husbands get? Maybe because this is the one we struggle with the most. Husbands, love your wives. If you're familiar with Ephesians 5, shows up there as well, doesn't it? Husbands love your wives. Wait a minute. Why doesn't he tell the wives to love us husbands? Just worry about what God tells you to do, okay? That's always a good place to start. Husbands, love your wives, and on the negative, don't be bitter towards them. Many of you have probably heard the saying, bitterness is like drinking poison in hopes that the other person dies. Bitterness is never to be a habitual heart posture of any Christian. You know why? You can't take bitterness and unforgiveness to heaven with you, can you? That is a form of habitual sin. Now, obviously, if Paul is giving these exhortations, I would assume that the church in Colossae was struggling with some of these things. Some of the wives may have been struggling with submitting to their husbands, and some of the husbands were struggling to love their wives and were becoming bitter towards them. Children were wrestling with disobedience, and so Paul is giving these instructions, I would assume. But love in scripture is not how we've been taught here in our culture. So if you grew up watching Disney, watching any sitcom, your understanding of love is extremely jaded. In our culture, love is primarily a romantic, emotional high you feel towards somebody you like for a season. But according to God's word, love is the selfless, sacrificial, intentional care and concern for the welfare of another. It is a verb, it is an action that is ongoing, that does not primarily have anything to do with how you feel. If you've been married for more than five minutes, you know that. It has nothing primarily to do, there actually, nothing in the Christian life is primarily dictated by your emotions. It's dictated by objective truth revealed in God's word. So in Ephesians 5, Paul does not say, husbands, love your wives as long as they're lovable. Husbands, love your wives as long as they make you feel warm and fuzzy. He says, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. The next question you should ask, okay, how did Jesus love the church? Oh, that's right. When we were his enemies and gave him every reason not to love us, when we were the most unlovable, he came and died on our behalf to save us as an act of love. So Paul says, so go love your wife like that. Men just receive, we receive an impossible task, but that doesn't mean we check out and say, this bar is too high, Jesus. We say, Jesus, we need your help to strive to do what you call us to do. Because we recognize when we love our wives the way that you have loved us and actively love us, we are imaging to our wives how you, Jesus, love your bride, the church. So for the Christian, love is the selfless, sacrificial, intentional care and concern for the welfare of another. So, brothers, please be in your Bibles, growing in your understanding of God's love for you, so then you understand how to love your wife. Wives, help your husbands love you by not taking in garbage that teaches you false love, like the stuff you watch, the songs you listen to, the books you read that portray to you a false view of love, and instead be rooted in the Bible. We live in a culture today where if you disagree with someone, you hate them, you don't love them. That is not biblical love. We must be shaped by the word of God and not the culture. Husbands, just to give us one more exhortation from 1 Peter 3:7, he says, husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. Uh-oh. Brothers, if we are not loving our wives, if we're not dwelling with our wives in an understanding way, being sympathetic to how God has uniquely designed our brides, Jesus says, Don't even try to come talk to me. That's what he says. He says, so that your prayers will not be hindered. Now, go fact check me. I don't know if a single passage in the Bible that has a similar warning to wives. Not that God's playing favoritism, but I think that's pretty unique. Then in inspired scripture, God has an exhortation to husbands, but also a warning saying, and if you don't honor this, your prayers will be hindered. Talk about motivation to get right with your bride, right? Here's a helpful application to help us with a heart posture of godly headship and submission. Turn one book over to the left to Philippians chapter uh two. Philippians chapter two, verses three through eleven. Just in case we're still wrestling with, I don't know about this submission and headship stuff, you know, as a Christian, I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. Let's listen to the heart posture that our Savior had. Philippians chapter 2, beginning in verse 3. This is good motivation for all of us in this room. Paul says, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others. Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who existing in the form of God did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited. Instead, he emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant, taking on the likeness of humanity. And when he had come as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even to death on a cross. For thus for this reason, God highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth. And every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father. Imagine if every Christian husband and every Christian wife and every future spouse followed verses three through four. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider your spouse as more important than yourself. Every one of you should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of your spouse. Imagine if all of us lived in accordance with that. And notice the pattern of Christ's humility. Even though Jesus was the one person who could use his authority to make everyone bow to him during his earthly ministry, he instead subjected himself to be a servant even to his enemies. But at the end of 10 and 11, he gets all the glory as a result. So, brothers, if you truly want to be great, be like Jesus. If you truly want to be exalted as a leader, then first be a servant to your family. And then God, in the right time, will lift you up. So let me just give two applications for marriage here. This is how we should seek God's help. Men, with God's help, strive to be the type of man that your wife would find joy and delight in submitting to for the glory of God and for the good of your family. That's it. With God's help, strive to be the type of man your wife would gladly and joyfully and delightfully submit to the glory of God and for the good of her family. Ladies, with God's help, strive to be the type of wife your husband would find joy and delight in leading for the glory of God and for the good of his family. Imagine if both spouses had that commitment, what that marriage would look like. Not wives nagging your husbands to be the spiritual leader they should be. Not men pounding your chest saying, I'm the head of the home. Brothers, if you have to shout and hit your chest and say you're the head of the household, you're not the head of the household. I'm sorry. But imagine if you both had that commitment as two broken sinners who are going to get it wrong, you're gonna fall flat on your face. But if you said, I want to be an instrument of righteousness in God's hands for the spiritual flourishing of my husband and family, and I want to be an instrument in God's hands for the spiritual flourishing of my wife, God's daughter, and my children, that is a prayer and a desire that God is honored by. The gospel transforms marriage, but it doesn't stop there. Christ's lordship redeems authority in every relationship, including that of the family. So it shapes how we understand authority and exercise authority in our marriages, but also in our parenting. Looking back at Colossians chapter 3, verse 20. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate or provoke your children so that they won't become discouraged. Children, if you're here this morning, you are here this morning, I'm looking at you. Children, isn't that neat that the Word of God addresses you? Keep in mind, just something to tuck away. This is a letter that would have been read to the church in Colossae, which clearly they assume children would be present. Just something to think about. Now, some of you kids, maybe certainly no kids here at Redeemer, but maybe your friends at school may be tempted to think, well, when do I have to not listen to my parents anymore? All of us adults, we were kids once, we've all thought that. Like, when can I get out of my parents' authority? Well, here's the truth parents by God's design are meant to be a spiritual blessing to you as kids. Parents, by God's design, are meant to be instruments in your life to protect you, to love you, to serve you, and to prepare you to walk with Jesus. This is a gift of God's grace to kids. Your obedience to your parents is an act of worship. When you honor your parents, you're honoring the God who providentially gave you your parents. So that's why Paul can say, children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Now, kids, you want some power over your parents? Here's the cards you can play. According to God's word, us parents are to lead and disciple our kids in accordance with God's word. So, similar to how wives are not to submit to their husbands, if they lead them contrary to God's word, Paul would say, kids, submit to your parents, obey your parents and everything, unless they are leading you contrary to God's word. Which means, kids, it's really important for you to learn the Bible for yourself, isn't it? This is God's design for the family. This is for protection, for love and nurturing and care. Now, let me add a caveat similar to what I did for marriage. Obviously, there's exceptions to the rule. If there are abusive, ungodly parents, then obviously we don't want kids submitting to those types of parents. Just like I would never counsel a wife to submit to an abusive husband. There are parameters because God has boundaries. Now, again, Paul is right into a certain cultural day where the family household dynamic might have looked a little bit differently than, well, it did look a little bit differently than it does today. So some would have the question of, well, how long should children obey? When they turn 18, or are they no longer under their parents' authority and headship anymore? I would say the principles Paul is giving here still apply. As long as you're living under your parents' protection and care and provision, I would suggest you're called to obey them. Obviously, exceptions apply in cases of abuse, but when you are no longer under your parents' care, then obedience transitions to honor and respect. What I mean by that is I have lots of conversations sometimes to newly married couples, and we have to talk about in-law relationships and what that looks like. When you are married and you create a new covenant family, you are no longer to obey your parents. They have now been promoted to a consultant role. How do consultants work? They give their counsel when called upon, not they impose their will on their children. Receive the shawl. I see y'all smiling. You need to receive God's word, right? When children leave your home and start their own families, you're still mom and dad, but now you honor your child by being their consultant and honoring their marriage covenant and recognizing you cannot impose on their covenant and tell them how to do family. But that's a sermon for another day. But notice he goes on and addresses fathers. In Ephesians 6, 4, he says, Fathers, don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Paul exhorts fathers to raise their children so that they do their utmost to avoid provoking in their children a rebellious attitude in them. Now, if we want to get ultra-biblical here, the Greek word that Paul uses for fathers is actually uh it can be translated parents. So this is a command and an exhortation both to mom and dad. But brothers, do not miss that Paul puts the primary responsibility square into the lap of the father. You have the primary charge to disciple your children and to not provoke them to anger. Or a more modern way to translate this would be do not crush your children's spirit through harsh, unfair, and inconsistent discipline. And because this word actually is addressing both parents, this applies to single parents as well. Whether you're a single dad or single mom, no matter how you found yourself in that context, God's word gives you encouragement and counsel on how to faithfully disciple your children by not provoking them to anger or exasperating them. Which means, parents, we are to discipline, but we are to do so in the way that God the Father disciplines us to share in his holiness. If you want to understand the heart of God and how he disciplined his children, tuck away Hebrews chapter 12. Go read that later today. But Proverbs 13, 24 makes it clear: the one who will not use the rod hates his son, but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently. We discipline our children because we love them. However, we don't discipline harshly in a way that would actually exasperate our children and crush their spirits to the point where they don't want to please you. Again, this is about authority. Parents, you have authority. How you wield it will either encourage the hearts of your children or it will crush their hearts. Think of modern society. Kids who feel the pressure of their parents wanting them to excel in sports, as if that's the be-all. If you don't do well in sports, I'm discouraged in you, son or daughter. Or if they don't get certain grades, or if they don't make you look a certain way around your peer group as a mom or a dad, then you're putting this weight on your kids that crushes their hearts. Paul is saying, be on guard against anything that would provoke your children to anger and discourage them. Because if you do, fathers, you are actually not helping your children be prepared to maybe one day follow Jesus' authority as a disciple of Christ. Because they're going to look at how you wielded your authority in their life and think, was that what Jesus is like then? Like, why should I follow him if he looks like you? And how you care and lead me. So we carry a significant role. But on the positive end, look at the beauty of God's design. Now we have no mechanism to guarantee the salvation of our children, but God does work through means. And isn't it beautiful to see that God has designed the family in such a way to prepare children to come to faith in Christ through the godly example and instruction of their parents? So consider the difference between correction in the home that crushes and correction that cultivates. A father who disciplines but also Gets down on his knees on his son and daughter and daughter's level and explains why and prays with them and gives them God's word and shows them gospel-shaped authority. That's showing children what Jesus' love looks like. And men, we lead through our repentance as well. You are still leading as a man when you get down and you confess sin to your children. When you let them know you have gotten it wrong and you have disobeyed God's word and you make that clear to them and ask for their forgiveness, that is godly leadership as well. So application for parents, fathers, how you love, serve, and train up your children is meant to be a foretaste of what Jesus' love is like. So if you neglect your responsibilities to your wife and your children, ask yourself, is this how Jesus loves me? I'm not trying to beat up on anyone. I just want to encourage all of us. If as men we abdicate our roles and just chuck it to our wives to be the spiritual leaders, you are lying about Jesus Christ. Does Jesus abdicate his role as your savior and head and say, you know what, I'll just let the Holy Spirit deal with all the lovey-dovey stuff and actually being intentional and caring for his bride of the church. I'm just going to focus on the provision of salvation. I'll die on the cross and I'll abdicate my role in these other areas to the rest of the Godhead. No. Jesus is intentionally and intimately involved in the care for every last one of his sheep. Mothers, you are not a passive partner in raising your children. Whether you're partnering with your husband's leadership or raising children or your own, you are actively nurturing, training, and pointing your children to Christ. Your consistent love, your patient correction, your prayers over them, all of this is gospel work. And can I just encourage every woman in this room, do not let the culture speak to you about what a God-honoring woman is? If you're studying God's word and you decide I want to devote myself to discipling my children and caring for them and preparing them to walk with Jesus, that is one of the most redemptive things you can do with your life. Even if the culture has a negative view of kids or a negative view of women who want to be more intentional in discipling their children, who cares? Who gives a writ what the culture says? What honors Jesus Christ? All right, my third point. These are all sermons in and of themselves. I'm trying to constrain myself. We've seen how the gospel transforms authority in marriage and the family, but now Paul extends it to the master slave relationship in verses 20 through to the end of chapter 4, verse 1. He says, Slaves, verse 22, obey your human masters and everything. Don't work only while being washed as people pleasers, but work wholeheartedly fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, do it from the heart as something done for the Lord and not for people, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ, for the wrongdoer will be paid back for whatever wrong he has done, and there is no favoritism. Masters, deal with your slaves justly and fairly, since you know that you too have a master in heaven. Notice in the economy of God, everybody has a master. No one has authority in and of themselves. Everyone ultimately is accountable to God the Father. Now we got to give a quick disclaimer. Though Paul is giving directions to masters and slaves, this is not an endorsement of the institution of slavery itself. This is the Bible addressing real life. These Christians came to faith, and he is saying, here's how you follow God within whatever sphere you find yourself. There are many people who try to use passages like this to say, this is why I don't believe in Christianity and endorses slavery. Number one, this is not the same slavery that we saw here in our culture. Very different. Don't get me wrong, slavery is still slavery. If you're a slave, you should try to get free. But what we're learning here is not what we saw here, for example, with the South arguing with the Bible that black people were made inferior by God to serve the white man. This is not race-based slavery. However, Paul is giving instructions to both, as I said in the introduction, this is interesting. It would have been very uncommon to hear words like this where he says, masters, deal with your slaves justly and fairly, since you know that you too have a master in heaven. So Paul is essentially saying, hey, you will give an account to Jesus for how you care for your slaves. And slaves, this is how, in the context you find yourself in currently, if you can free yourself, sure, avail yourself of that. But as you are in this context, here's how the gospel shapes how you serve your masters. Now, there are some principles that we can bring over to modern day and talk about the workplace. I think some people need to be very careful. They act like, you know, this is an apples to apples. It's not. Obviously, this is the institution of slavery. However, there are some principles here that we can apply to how we function within the workplace, whether you're an employer or an employee. And I would just give this question to I present this question to all of you. Ask yourself this. Is it good that people in your workplace know that you're a Christian? Do people in your workplace know that you're a Christian? If they found out you were a Christian, would they say, Oh, word? You're a Christian? According to what you are exemplifying in the workplace, does that bring honor to the gospel of Jesus Christ? Or does it bring shame and reproach to God's word? Now I'm not saying clock in tomorrow and stand on the table, you know, and just start preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. But as we've been learning in Colossians, if you're united to Christ, it shapes every aspect of your life, does it not? So we can't compartmentalize our faith and say, well, I'm a Christian when I show up on Sundays or when I go to a small group or when I'm hanging out with people in the church, but when I clock in, that's a whole different realm. The gospel shapes every aspect of your life. When Christ is Lord of all, he transforms how we exercise authority and how we submit to authority in every relationship. We are to work as unto the Lord. So are you cheating your job when you're on break? You take a longer break or you're using company hours to do other stuff instead of what you're hired to do? Are you doing anything that would bring reproach on your testimony that you are a follower of Jesus? Can anyone point the finger at you and say, I thought Christians are supposed to blank? If so, we must repent and give an example of what it truly looks like to follow Jesus. And this applies to whether you're an employee or an employer. I actually had this happen. Let me use an example of myself, a bad example. When I first came to faith in Christ, I went through the worst pain I ever experienced in my entire life. And I actually tried to walk away from the Lord Jesus Christ. And all my coworkers knew I was a follower of Jesus. I came to work, I had all my old rap songs on my iPod, iPod. I was cussing and doing all this stuff. And my co-workers were like, yo, like we miss old cam. What's going on with you? And I was just in pain. I was struggling. I wanted to walk away from God. I was blaming him for the suffering I was going through. And then the Lord convicted me of my sin one night, crushed me of my poor example. And by God's grace, I sat down with my whole group of coworkers in a circle and said, brothers, I need you to understand I'm going through some significant pain. But the example I gave to you is not becoming of a Christian. That was sinful. I dishonored God and his gospel, and I hope you guys can forgive me. And they did. But that is an example of, wait, wait, wait, wait. Because they saw one pattern and then saw something else, they were like, wait a minute, what's going on here? I thought you were a Christian. And I had to be honest. Yeah, I profess in the name of Christ, but if I'm honest right now, I'm not portraying what I verbally am professing. And I had to ask for those brothers' forgiveness. Let me give all of you a homework assignment this week. Kids, husbands, wives, moms, and dads. Here's an assignment for all of you this week. Ask each other. If you're married, ask your spouse. Kids, you can ask your parents this question. Here's the question. According to what you know of God's word, what's one way I could better reflect Christ to you? According to what you know of God's word, what's one way I could better reflect Christ to you? And then listen without letting that inner defense attorney come out. Pray before asking the question, spend time in prayer. But when's the last time you've ever asked someone in your life who's close to you a question like that? I think sometimes we just assume we're doing a good job. We just assume we're being godly and righteous. But sometimes it's helpful to ask, hey, what is an area where you feel like I could look more like Jesus to serve you better and to help you walk with Jesus? That could be used of the Lord to stir you on in your role and function. But friends, let me just encourage us. This passage, these passages are shaping how we understand authority as those who are united to Christ Jesus. It should change radically how we function in our roles as husbands, wives, mothers, and fathers. Amen. Let's pray.