Falling into Sin

In this episode we talk honestly about sin — not as theory, but as something we all wrestle with in daily life. We explore why we often repeat the same patterns, what Scripture says about the human heart, and how that affects prayer and repentance.

We reflect on passages like Jeremiah 17:9, Romans 7, 1 John 1:9, and Matthew 26:41, and what they reveal about weakness, dependence, and God’s grace.

This isn’t about pretending we have it all together. It’s about being honest with God, learning to depend on Him, and understanding that grace meets us daily — even in struggle.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi and welcome back to the Muddy Cross Podcast. So today, today's episode is all about sin.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

It is, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Something that we all do.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

We do. Yeah. We try not to, but we do.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

We do. I think well, nothing. Everybody wrestles uh with sin. Um and it's not really an abstract idea. This is something real, something that we deal with every single day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Um so yeah, and it's not coming up from a place of perfection or trying to be perfect, is it? It's um it's just a reality, you know, it's having an honest conversation that we are in a sinful body. Yeah, and when we come to Christ, it's about trying to walk every day in that honesty, in that reality, um, and the fact that we fall short.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Yeah, and I think that you know, something even more slightly uncomfortable is that we fall into the same sins again and again. You know, we sin and we obviously the importance is to into prayer and to repent and ask for forgiveness, but inevitably we fall into that sin again and again, and literally the same sin can happen again and again and again.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Yeah, and it's not about condemnation, it's about using scripture to help guide us so that we can try and be better and do better, again, not going back to perfection, but to be able to help us to to just walk the path, walk the right path.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Yeah, and you know, in scripture, there's a piece of scripture that I had, um, and I think it's really relevant here in this in Jeremiah, Jeremiah 17, uh, 17, 9. Um, obviously there's a lot of scripture around it, but this particular passage, um, the heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick. Who can understand it? You know, that that that's yeah, and it's really difficult, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 1:48

No, and it's really difficult because the culture of the world is to follow just follow your heart, trust your heart. The heart is the way to go in life. And I used to do it all the time. I mean, but my heart's telling me to do this, and my heart must be right because the heart is the love centre, the heart is the heart is deceitful, the heart is and and this is why in prayer now, like I will go, God go into the depths of my heart and pull out anything, pull out anything that needs to be revealed, pull out anything that I need to work on, anything I need to repent from, anything that I need to be forgive, forgiven for, anything I need to forgive someone else for, and just dive in there because the heart, yes, the heart is the centre of us wanting to do right, but at the same time, the heart is where everything is stored.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Pain, you know, unforgiveness, all of that. It gets stored in there, and it's what makes all those pieces up. So it's it's a yin and yang of both going on inside there, and we have to, you know, we have to not follow our own desires with the heart. It it's trying to it, it's it's it's that inner intuition, isn't it? You know, when you go, Oh, that I've just got that inkling that I need to do this, or I've just got that little voice, that's him, and he's telling us, and he will override the heart if we listen strong enough, and and when then we can avoid our own desires, we can.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

And I think you know, because sin is within us, we I think we unfortunately naturally connect it in some way. And the difficulty is that even when we want to do better, we still find ourselves this is the difficulty, we find ourselves repeating those same sins, same mistakes again, if you will. Yeah, and um, yeah, that that's that's the gut-wrenching part for me, is you know, you because you desperately do, particularly when you come to God, you think, right, that's it, I'm repentant for my sins. I am not doing those things again. I am not getting angry. God does not like me getting angry.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

And then two minutes later, you should. And that's and that's when you get that whole guilt and I'm not good enough, and all these, which is the devil trying to come in to tear us down. You know, God doesn't say anything of those things about us. We say them, we put it on ourselves, we self-condemn, don't we? Um, and that's all that guilt, isn't it? But scripture doesn't leave us there, it helps points us towards dependence because otherwise we're self-reliant and we can't be self-reliant. We've proved this, we'll go back and you know, watch all of our previous podcasts. You you have to rely on him, you have to have that connection, that relationship, and that guidance from him. This is not a loan journey, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

No, absolutely. I mean, you know, you find yourself, like I just said, you you commit a sin and you do something you know is not right inside internally, and you know, we go into prayer and we say, Lord, please, please help me stop doing this, but then we feel really deflated again when we do it again. I know, and it you know, it can end up feeling like some sort of a vicious circle.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

And that's why it's also good to have people to talk to, fellowship like with me and you, you're like, we'll often do something, and then we'll come back and we rebuke each other in a loving way, and it's got to be positive, it's got to be loving, it's got to be done in a come from the right place, yeah. Like you say, criticism, but positive Christian, constructive criticism, that's what I was looking for. Um, again, it's white texting. Um, and that's really important because you know, like if you're not there to hold me accountable, I'm gonna fall short, as well as obviously God, but yeah, and and again, equally, because it's that instant rebuking in a loving way of going, hang on, yesterday we said we weren't gonna do this and we've just done that, or you've just done that. We need to, we need to support each other. We need to work, how can we change this? What can I do to help the environment? What can so that's where it comes with it is obviously a two-way relationship with God, but having those people around you, having that what we say, church family, having that church family around you, having that network around you. Um, and it can come from the children as well as you know, like we've had it, you know, where in a loving way where we've been picked up, like we've gone to eat, and all of a sudden our lit this one and go, hang on, we haven't prayed. I'm going back in the earlier day, we do it automatically now, but in the earlier day it would always have been him, wasn't it? And he'd go, You haven't prayed, and we'd be like, Oh no, you know, so again, it was that gentle reminder coming from different places, but it's about having that communion together and obviously having him guiding all of that.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

You know, it is because you know, we want to do better. We I personally want to do better, but I'm in a relationship with you, so therefore I want you to do better as well. And that's where you know it's a two-way thing, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Absolutely, and I guess this is where something interesting comes in. It's about not lowering the standards, but being radically honest with God, you know, and coming before God, bearing it all, bearing it open, and and because we've seen it how many times that He knows our heart anyway, he knows our thoughts, he knows our thoughts before we even say them. Yeah, so not being honest and trying to hide from him is pretty insane, really, because he knows. So it's a case of just flooding it all out there, and like we've said before, you know, the the get down there with the the dirty and the ugly, like ugly tears, you know, cry the ugly tears, shout, scream, whatever you need to do in that moment, because there's nothing he can't handle because he created you, so he knows what's going to come from you. Yeah, so it is about being that raw and honest with him.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

There it is, and you know, accepting that we are, you know, we are sinful, not that we can rest there for and say, Oh, it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

No, but it's an ongoing, and that's why it's a journey, it's not about the destination. Yes, we want to get to heaven, yes, we want to be accepted, and I do not want to hear those words, you know, get away from me. But it it's it's the journey, and it's about enjoying the journey. Like you said, something you came out from the session with the youth last week, and one of the questions you'd posed with them, wasn't it? Was can you remember?

SPEAKER_00 7:22

I'm trying to remember.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

No, no, but the one about the journey, would you rather not have the journey and go through the trials?

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Oh, something along the lines of would you rather get everything that you wish for or learn uh along the way?

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Learn along the way. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

And they all kind of said they obviously said they'd rather learn uh along the way, learn from their mistakes.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

But when you came out when we were talking about it on the way home, the car, and it's no, but it was so interesting because that is the truth, isn't it? Like if you if you turn around and go, Well, there you go, there's your cup, and you can have everything you ever desire, and it's all in there, and you don't have to do anything or what it's lovely, and you get you might get it and go, Oh, this is wonderful, but then it's like you're done now. I'm done now. Where I know the trials, I know obviously, if you know, like we're going through health conditions and financial conditions and all those things, and you can sit there at times saying, Oh, take it away. We should take this away. But at the same time, when you come out the other side of it, when you see the other side of it, when you go through it and then you come out, you go, that's why. Because you wanted to reshape me because I was in the wrong place with my mind, I was in ego, I was in pride, I was in this, I was in that, whatever you were in. Yeah, you've now shaped me out of that, and I can now sit back and look at things with a different perspective, and I can come at things with a different perspective, and you've cleaned my heart a little bit out more.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

And I think that you know, in relation to sin, I'm not saying that God wants us to sin. I'm sure He would much rather we don't, but the fact that we that we sin and repeat some of these sins, like we're saying, um, is it that we're constant, there's a constant refining, you know. There we apply that guilt to ourselves. Oh, I've done this again. That that's our guilt that we apply, not God's. Um, but even within that, there's reshaping, there's a I ri I need to do better. This is the second, this is the third, this is the fourth time I've done this.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

And he's not gonna keep forgiving, it's not like a you know, like a stop machine where you can keep well.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

I think it's it's it's doing those sin. I think it's re-sinning again, thinking, oh, it's fine because he's just gonna forgive me. I think there's if we fall into that sin again and we're like we have that gut-wrenching feeling of I can't believe I've done this again. I have to repent. I think I think God, I mean, I'm not I'm not God, I don't know. I'm assuming God recognises that because as you said, he knows our heart. Yeah, um, there's a little I've got some scripture now. This is a bit of, I feel it's a bit of a tongue twister. So I'm gonna try and do it. There's a lot to it. I'm only gonna take one snippet out of it. Um, this is in Romans, um, and this is where Paul is speaking about, is is titled The Conflict of Two Natures and Relating to Sin. Um, so I'm gonna try and do my best. Um, but do read the whole passage. It's it's um in Romans 7, uh, 4 through to 25. So I'd encourage you to read the whole thing, but this little snippet. For what I am doing, I do not understand, for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing uh the very thing that I hate. And he's talking about sin here. He's talking about he knows that he shouldn't do it, and he doesn't want to do it, but find himself doing it anyway.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

Yeah, and it's that internal conflict, isn't it? He struggled, he had that internal conflict and struggled with sin, just as much as we did, and this is where like the Bible is so incredible because it's showing us, isn't it? God is so graceful, he shows us through all of these other people that we are to learn from, we are to look not look up to in idolise, but look up to in trying to follow their ways and as an example or say not idolise because God's God's the one that we we should focus on. But it's and he's showing us their failings, yeah, and he's showing us that he still chose them because he had grace over them, and that's what he has for us, he has grace over us. So look at Paul, look at the story of Saul to Paul and all of that that happened. God still chose him, God still used him, God still kept with him, God still walked with him, even though he had that internal conflict, and it's it's that tension between the spiritual desire and the human weakness. It's that constant, isn't it? I've got a few notes here. It's like the awareness of knowing right from wrong does not always give power to only do right. So you can know the difference between right and wrong. I know I shouldn't shout at my child, but when you've had a whole day and you've trigger stacked, and if you know anything about animal psychology, like trigger stacking, and you get to the point where one more little tea light under that kettle is gonna blow it, and all of a sudden something happens, and then you just blow, then you're back to I have the power because I know I shouldn't do this. I know that I should be more patient, kind, and and graceful and all the rest of it, but I've done it, yeah. And so having the knowledge of it, having the awareness of it, doesn't mean to say it's gonna go away. It only goes away by constantly practicing, like you said, having that internal desire to want to be better, knowing instantly the repentance is there, like as soon as you've done it, it's like, oh, like you said, if you constantly like keep messing up and sinning and go, oh, that's all right, God's gonna forgive me anyway. That's that's that's not the heart for change. Yeah, you know, it's got to be you're seen because you're changed internally, and that internal doesn't come from him wanting you to be better. Yes, of course he does, it comes from you wanting to be better, so it's self-rebuking.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

Yeah, I think, and and that's what I say. I think when we repeat the sins, I think that's when God knows the difference of us repeating the sin and thinking, Oh, does that ask for forgiveness versus I can see he's trying or she's trying to do better because they've instantly gone into repentance, they've instantly gone and asked for forgiveness from the person that shouted at or whatever else. Yeah, and and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

And he strictly, like when he was Saul, he strictly followed the Jewish law. Like, like to a T, the law of Moses, wasn't it? Was followed, but he wasn't doing the right thing. So it just shows us that it has to be an internal heart desire to have that relationship over, like we've said it before, relationship over performance. You know, it has to come in there. The simple nature and the flesh equals inner conflict. We are in, whether we like it or not, we are in a body of inner conflict, and it's about navigating that. But the only way to navigate that is through a relationship with him, with your Bible, with him, your time, your however you connect with him, it's about having that.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you know, I I listened to a podcast just yesterday or day before, and there was this this guy that was um speaking, he he's a famous comedian, I don't know who his name is, but anyway, he he's come to God and he was talking about sin and uh the repetitiveness of sin and how he how he feels terrible when he repeats the sin. But he talked about you know when God has that l when that living water inside of us. And um what I find fascinating was that he went beyond the living water and he said about the well within us, because obviously if there's living water, there's got to be some sort of a vessel, and he described it as a well, and he said he's changed his his prayer life because of this. So normally he would have said, Lord, please forgive me because I've sinned, I've done this. Please stop me doing this sin again. And he realized that he is probably gonna do that sin again, maybe something that he really struggles with. And he's he now prays and he says, Lord, I'm really sorry for what I've done. I want you to cleanse me, but I want you to go further. I want you to cleanse the well, I want you to clean the bricks of the well. I want you to clean the mortar that's between the bricks. And and and to me, as he was talking this and describing this, this was in his prayer, he was he's explaining that I know I'm not good enough. I know that my vessel is dirty, and there's there's there's dirt and there's there's sinfulness in all aspects of my body. I'm just asking you to reach the places that I can't reach. Yeah, you know, help me with the sin, but help me go further and help me for when I potentially miss in again. So it's recognition of I'm not perfect and I never will be perfect. I want and strive to do better all the time. So rather than just simply saying, remove the sin from me, because that's not gonna happen. It do works within me that are gonna help me in the future, that are gonna help guide me in the future. And and I just thought that you know that that that struck me because I know that I've prayed, Lord, please, you know, forgive me for this, don't let me do it again. But it's going deeper, isn't it? It's like that going deeper, and it's a recognition of again, it's not as simple as please take this away from us going, oh good. Yeah, that that's not gonna happen. It's the sin's always gonna be there, but but help me in the handle, help me clean the underneath part, help me clean the inside part, and you know, I just yeah, that'll be a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Yeah, strengthen, strengthen it all.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

It spoke to me in terms of I think whenever I'm whenever I'm starting to pray now, I think I'm gonna change how I pray because it I now change how I think about it.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

And that's why we say these are just as much for us as anyone else, because along the journey of doing this, it's helping us, isn't it? Shaping us and moulding us, which is why we are all in this journey together.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Um, and it's not about pretending, isn't it? It's not about pretending that you've got it all together, like you, you know, you might walk in church and everyone's like, Oh, how are you? And inside you could be absolutely like trying to hold it all together and and falling apart, but you go, Oh, I'm fine, yeah, yeah, I've got it. It's that pretending strength, isn't it? Whereas actually it comes from being vulnerable, it comes from knowing, not just even admitting, but knowing internally that you have to be dependent on him. You can't do this alone, you've got to be dependent. And being vulnerable is the first step of that. Like us sharing our journey, you know, we we do that to help other people to show that actually by sharing, you you are you are gonna get that help back in some form, you're gonna get that two-way support back, and it and it gives other people strength to share because it's really it's a really encouraging thing when people start sharing their journey. Like we've got um Owen in our church, I know you had him on, didn't you, recently? Yeah, and he's starting to share, he's starting to do little videos and put it out there. Yeah, and you can see it's not only is that you know, going out there that could potentially help somebody else, it's helping him because he's massively growing and we encourage that growth, you know. We're all in this together, and it goes back to we are all individual threads, yeah, but we can't do it on our own. We have to be together and we have to support each other, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

You're right. I mean, the only thing I'll say about dependency, it doesn't then it doesn't then therefore excuse it because when we're dependent, it's so easy then say, Well, we're dependent on that person or dependent on God, so therefore they carry the weight of it. Um, so it definitely doesn't excuse sin, but we definitely do need him within it. We need him for the forgiveness of it. We need him for everything, um, but it does remove that kind of illusion, if you will, that that we can do it ourselves because we can't, because acknowledging the dependency means acknowledging that we need help, yeah, and therefore it acknowledges that we're unable to do this ourselves. Um so that's an important uh important point.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

And I think it all comes back to grace, it's that grace that God gives us because if we could fix it ourselves, we wouldn't need him, yeah. And we can't.

unknown 18:34

No.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

As much as like you can have and it's why you you say, isn't it like a lot of rich and famous people, you know, they have all the money in the world and then they discover that it's an empty, it's an empty path. Yeah. And it's because it's not about the external, like we say this to the boys all the time, don't we? It's not about what car you drive, what house you have, what your bank balance is, it's about here, it's about in here. And if you are constantly striving to try and fill the void and the hull, yeah, by by filling up with external factors, you're going to be striving your whole life. It's about surrender, it's about knowing that the it starts with internal, it starts with filling that void, it starts with knowing that we're saved by grace alone, not by something that we've done. And we have to forgive, not just forgive others, but we have to forgive ourselves, and then when we see others, we have to see a reflection that they are just God's creation, going through a journey on a struggle, just as we are. And we have to walk through our life like that, needing God's grace rather than personal effort and religious rules, yeah, because we can have all the rules, like the law and and having God's like Ten Commandments, having all of these things can reveal, you know, like um reveal sin and reveal what sin is that thou shall not kill, thou shall not, you know, all of these things, but that does not completely free us from sin's power. No, so as it goes back to what I said earlier, is is knowing and having the awareness of sin doesn't stop sin creeping in. Yeah, so it is totally and utterly by his grace, and that only comes from relationship.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

Yeah, no, absolutely. You know, I was just thinking there as you were talking, um, you're talking about the commandments and stuff, and I'm thinking Old Testament versus New Testament. Now, the Old Testament was very law-driven, and um again, not that they're those those foundations are so so so key. Um, and then Jesus came along, and we're talking about living well. I'm thinking back to this well again, and I'm thinking about that well being built by those those Ten Commandments and the laws, and then Jesus comes along and he's the fluidity of it, and and he is the water, and he seeps into every aspect of it because the written law tells us don't do this, don't do this, do this, do this. But God comes in and shows us how or Jesus comes in and shows us how that how that is done and shows us the love and shows us the compassion and shows us that it's okay. I I understand what you've done, but you're forgiven and and and that tenderness as well.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

It's not, is it? It's not just about refreshment, you know, it's not just ask, oh, can you refresh me? It's asking for transformation. Yeah. And when and when we when we come to Christ, when we get baptized, you know, which is just another layer of that transformation, um, it is renewing. We are being renewed and we are being strengthened in the parts that nobody sees. Yeah, and so that is that foundation. And it really is important that we have that foundation in place because somebody can come along and do something, say something, and if you've not got that foundation, it can just throw you and rock you off, and then that's it, you're off that path. So it's really important that we understand this is not just about refreshing, this is about renewing. Yeah, this is about transforming. Yeah, and and it starts with the heart, it starts with knowing that we can't trust the heart. We have to, we have to ask God to go in there and be graceful and work with us to clean that out.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Yeah, and I you know, I think that I think that God wants to strengthen us, and this is what we're talking about. This is the journey aspect of it, and He wants to strengthen us, but at the same time those patterns that we follow, so those sinful patterns that we follow, He doesn't necessarily change those. He look at it as a test. How do we navigate those as he strengthens us, as he works with us? And you know, we have work to do in this as well, and and you know, probably some of the sins that we followed in the past, the bad decisions that we made in the past, yeah, he strengthens us so that when we face with them again, are we going to stick with those patterns or are we gonna say no? This is you know, so there's work that we've got to do. It doesn't mean it's gonna be perfect, it's not clean cut. Um, but we've got to remember that even though we're with God and even though we're asking God for strength, it doesn't mean that he's gonna strip these things away from us, he will strengthen us, and I think part of that strengthening is that when we fall into those same patterns of sin again, we instantly recognise I've done it again, and therefore that's that will strengthen. So then the next time you're faced with it, you might actually stop before you do it. And so it may take a lot, it's gonna take working out, um, but it's it's the journey, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Yeah, it is all part of the journey, and it and it's a as some um one of our friends said to us the other day, isn't it? Is that we have two hands, one for giving and one for you know, one for helping others and one for helping yourself. And it was just something we did yesterday, we were on a pastorial um workshop yesterday, and it was a it well, they did an inner circle exercise, didn't they? And it was about are you looking after your inner circle? Are you protecting that? What are your boundaries? What are your and I just think that comes into play here because we can keep give, give, give, you know, we cannot rely on him, we can keep striving and working, but actually then we're just coming from an empty cup. We're not feeling we're not, you know, we're not renewing, refreshing, and if we're not in the word and we're not in our prayer, we're not coming from any any place of connection.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

Where does the strengthening come from?

SPEAKER_01 23:59

Yeah, it's really really important. So, excuse me, I've got um some scripture. I've got one today. Um, and this is 1 John 1 9, and it's if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar, and his word is not in us. And I think that's really some of these scriptures are like they're really hard here, not they it is it is holding you accountable, really.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

But it's uh it's that word confess, isn't it? And and and that to me isn't just it's not just admitting failure as in I've just done this, but it's also agreeing with God about it. It's about talking and working out with God, isn't it? You know, confessing that means you've got to deal with it then.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Um and that's why we keep every day, you know, like like with whatever it is, like sometimes, you know, you do wake up and life's busy, like the last week or so we've had we're life's busy, and you think I haven't got time to do my normal hours prayer time in the morning or what have you. But you're talking to him on the way in the car, you're talking to him while you're walking, I'm talking to him, I'm walking around the supermarket and get looked, people look at me, and I'm like, yeah, well, he's a better conversation. So, you know, like make a joke of it, but it's because we need to constantly be cleansed, constantly, you know, just knowing that if we don't have that communication, if we don't, we're going to keep falling. So we need to constantly um just accept his grace and know that his grace is meeting us where we are in that moment, yeah, you know, because that moment is life's just got busy and I need to do something. Oh, life's got calm. I've got time to be with you today. Life's got busy again. Yeah, yeah. You know, we live we're living in this world, and he knows this world's fallen, and he knows that we're in a fallen. So there's that grace over everything. I just see it as this blanket of just like comfort and warmth. And when you're not feeling it, he's there to wrap it around you and lift you up. And when you are feeling it, he pumps it up like a um what do you call it, like a hot air balloon, and you just fly and you're just like you feel free. So wherever you are on that journey, he's got that blanket wrapped around you, he's protecting you, he's loving you, he's fulfilling you, he's renewing you, but it starts with wanting the desire, and that all comes from free will, and he gives us that free will so that we want it rather than having to having to have it, and and you know, that grace that that we speak about often um that God gives us sometimes, you know, I think about that word, and it can come across as sort of a weakness, and God's grace is not weak, no, not at all.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

We're the weak ones, it's God's grace that comes within our weakness, um, and that's where the strength then comes. Um, and when we when we think think about that receiving God's grace, you know, I wonder what other people think of that. Um, but to me, grace is great strength, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Uh and it goes back to that being vulnerable. Yeah, it goes back to that being vulnerable, like being vulnerable, like they say now, all boys shouldn't cry. That's something that really grates me because I'm like, no, please cry. Please cry. Because if you hold it in, all you're doing is holding the trauma in, and at some point later in life that's gonna come out, and it's gonna come out in a much bigger way. So when you cry, your tears um you can tell me if I'm wrong, but scientifically, um, I read something once where it's your tears are salty because it's the toxin, it's the energy, it's the negative energy coming out in them when you're crying tears of sadness, when you cry tears of joy, they don't taste of anything, and so it's really important that we get that toxic out of us, we get that out. So telling a boy not to cry, or a man not to cry, you're telling them to hold that energy in, to hold that negative space, to you know, to not release. We have to release, we need to release, no matter who we are, we need to release that out of us. So it's really important that we come before him and we're vulnerable before him. And I think personally that vulnerability shows more strength of character than trying to hold it all in and and putting on this front that oh well I'm okay, and I did it for years, putting on this front of oh no, I've got it all held together. I'm not in a you know, like a relationship that's not healthy. I'm not I I went through a lot, you know, and I and I held it all together, and I was out there going, no, no, this is all good, you know. Look at me, this perfect life. It was not, it was for me inside that perfect life was hell. Um, and it's only through this and knowing that actually it's about like us being vulnerable and being honest, you know, there's nothing that we don't talk about or we don't share. We're we're honest about everything because you have to make sure that you have trust in there, and that comes from that place of being vulnerable and being honest. I think I could be waffling now, but I think that I've got a piece of scripture that kind of falls into this um really well, and it's Matthew 26, 41, and it says, watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

Yeah, again, not not an excuse but an explanation, yeah. Um and also an invitation, I guess, to draw closer to God.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

Yeah, um, yeah, watch and pray. You need to be it, leaves us, it leaves us um independence, doesn't it? Well, we have to be dependent on Him. We have to be watching all the time, we have to be, we have to be praying into those moments of God give me strength, God help me, God tell me what to say at this moment. Like I'm all the time, I'm going into like going into a meeting or going into a room and going, or someone's just literally come up and said, I need help with this, you know. And I'm like, God help me, God help me with this. What do I say? Obviously, in my head, what do I say in this? Please give me the words, give me the right words to say, help me to remove me from it. Like we do before we even start this podcast. We say, don't we? Go before us, be in us, be through us, speak through us. We don't want this to be of us, we want this to be of you. Yeah, and that and that should be how we live our life. It should be what's the right thing? Tell me how to see this person so I'm not seeing and I'm not reacting with my feelings to this moment. I'm seeing beneath, I'm seeing the person that you created. Yeah, so it's really easy just to react, it's really easy to fall into well, I'm not feeling it today. Well, you know, I don't I feel that they were horrible to me, blah, blah. What's going on in their life? Why have they been like that? And it's and it takes time and it takes a lot of practice and a lot of energy and a lot of willing and wanting, but that's that desire, isn't it? To to want to follow him.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

Yeah, no, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

And sorry, I felt like I just waffled.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

No, you're fine. Uh, you know, and I'm just I'm just I'm thinking here uh in terms of prayer and usefulness for for those listening and watching, you know, prayer. Um it's not pretending that that you're never gonna struggle again. Like we said, you know, we pray, Lord, please help me deal with this sin, please remove whatever it is filling your blank that I've done. It's it's about saying, God, be with me in this struggle, yeah, guide me through this struggle. You know, I'm obviously I repent and I'm very sorry for doing it, but uh be honest, don't don't sort of say, Lord, I'm really sorry, please don't let me do it again, because that's not realistic. You know, it's Lord, help me deal with this. I don't know how to deal with this. I know I recognize I recognize that I've done this sin before, yeah, and and therefore assuming that I may do it again, and and you know, mega works in me that that'll help me when I repeat, help help me before I repeat, you know, uh recognise that it's coming as soon as I have done it, if I do it again. Again, it's not accepting and therefore saying, you know, I know I'm gonna do it again, therefore it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

Well, no, we don't want to do it again, and we pray that we won't.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

No, but but it's also recognising that there's a likelihood that you probably will, um, you know, in in exactly that way or in some other way, and and it's just recognising that you need him in the process, you need his forgiveness, yeah, but you need him in the process of moving forward.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

And I think it's it's knowing, like we talked about grace, but it's knowing that grace is not a one-time deal.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

No.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

And and it's accepting, yeah, you know, that you might like, for example, you come out, don't you, from being baptised, and you're like, oh, and it's like this big it's like going on a holiday or a big vacation somewhere, or like going to Limitless. We went to Limitless as a um uh convention, isn't it? Yeah faith convention, and you come out, and when you come home, it's like oh yeah, it's just drawer symptoms. And it's the same when you're baptized, it's big, like we had eight months of all these lessons and learning and this journey towards his baptism. You go in the water and it's like cheering and clapping, and you come out and you're like, yay! And then you go home, you're like, Oh, oh, yeah, okay. Well, now I've just got to live it daily. You know, so that's not you know, but but it can it can it can feel showing you that you know it's it's that same thing. We need to know that every day is like that day. Every day is going in that water in your head, yeah. You know, it's not just a case of you've been in that water, you've had that big celebration, you've come out, and then it's like, oh, it's it's actually every day going, renew me today. Yeah, just help me. What I didn't do yesterday, help me better today, help me to be refreshed today, put me back in that water and just give me a new spiritual renewing every day, and knowing that his grace is gonna be there for us. As long as we have, as long as we have the right desire, like you say, that repentance comes straight away, not that oh yeah, you have to have the right desire for it. But it's about knowing that He's gonna give us that grace and using, even if you just use Paul as the example, it shows you how he like the disciples, all of the it shows you how he gives that grace over and over and over. Yeah, like the one thing that Jesus said, doesn't it, is stay awake with me and pray with me on the last night before prophecy, and they could they couldn't. And it just shows you that that is human nature. We want to do it, we have the desire to do it, but we we fall short of doing it. But his grace is still there, he still picked them up, he still loved them.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Yeah, absolutely. And I think I think that's a good, a good kind of bringing bringing this episode to a close. I mean, well, what I would say, I'll give you a final word. Go on then, I'll give it to my final word, and then you can have a final word. I think what I would say to you guys is that you know, I hope that that this brings about uh an honesty within your faith walk about sin and not pressure. Um I I think that it it's very often when we talk about um sin in our lives and we talk about just generally this topic, it can weigh very heavy on us. Um we have to recognise it, we can't escape it, but God doesn't want us to feel pressurized by it, He wants us to work uh with Him and work through it. Um so I hope that it encourages you in your faith walk and doesn't add any pressure to you. That would be that would be my little um finishing note. What about you?

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Just to know that you're not alone, just to know that you're not walking it alone because I know previous prior to coming to Christ, um, like we've said it before, wasn't it? Like our journey was no politics, no football, no football. That's a story. You need to go back to grace and the grit and faith and climb, um, and no religion. Yeah, um, so coming to to coming to God was a huge step for both of us, for you obviously for your reasons, but for me, um, and I always felt alone, even though I had human connection, even though I had friends and relationship, I always felt alone. I always had a fear of death, the fear of the unknown, what and now all of that's gone because I know that I'm not doing this journey on my own, and I know that I don't have to overcome sin on my own. I know that I'm gonna fall short because I'm in a fallen body, I'm in a fallen world. I know that I'm gonna need his grace daily, I know that I'm gonna need renewed and refreshed daily, and I know that I'm gonna need to put the effort in to work at it because relationship, whether it's human, whether it's spiritual with God, it's a two-way street. Yeah, and I have to work at it just as much as he wants to see me with him and working at it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:10

Absolutely. Well, there you go.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

But it's his grace that saves us.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

For sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 36:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

So there you go, guys. Thank you so much for joining us in this episode talking about sin. We hope that you have found it encouraging. Please, guys, do drop in the comments, comments, your thoughts. We do read them, we do reply as well. And thank you for the personal messages. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button, it helps us to reach more and more people. Guys, thank you so much. If you want to support the show, you can do that via the link below, buy us a coffee. But until then, until the next episode, stay rooted in Christ, stay strong, and we'll see you soon.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

Bye.