When You're Tired Of Carrying Everything

When you’re used to being the strong one, eventually the weight gets heavy.

In Episode 47 of The Muddy Cross Podcast, we talk about emotional exhaustion, pressure, control, surrender, and learning to stop carrying things God never asked us to carry alone.

If you’ve been feeling mentally, emotionally, or spiritually tired lately, this conversation is for you.

📖 Matthew 11:28–29
📖 Psalm 55:22
📖 Exodus 14:14

🎙️ The Muddy Cross Podcast

#ChristianPodcast #Faith #Jesus #ChristianEncouragement #MentalHealth #SpiritualGrowth

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi and welcome back to the Muddy Cross podcast. Thanks so much for joining us. This is episode 47.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

I know, that's crazy. It's like a nearly, what, a whole year of doing this?

SPEAKER_01 0:11

It's coming up. It's coming up. It's coming up. But today's today's episode, uh, when you're tired of carrying everything.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Oh, we've all been there. Like seriously, how many times that that just resonates massively, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Certain certainly with us um over the past some time. Um, but I think that uh you know today we want to talk about this because I think it's something that a lot of you guys can they can they can empathize with this one. Um and and you know, don't always know how to explain that. I think we can get caught up with it, it can consume us and we don't realise that we're that we are actually carrying everything.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

But it's not just it's but it's not just physically tired, is it? No, no. It's emotionally tired, it's mentally tired, spiritually tired. Like the whole ensemble of all of it kind of just comes in that feeling where you it just feels heavy. Yeah, and and so you don't just feel too much.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

And and you don't realise it sometimes until it catches up with you.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

It's the same as when I was doing dog training, and they used to say about think of the dog when it's under stress or when it's trying to cope in situations, it's going through its daily life, and just think of the dog as a kettle under a stove where you've put like little lights underneath, like tea lights, for example, and throughout the day or the week or the month, you'll you know, everything that happens is a trigger, it's another layer, it's another stress, it's another bit of anxiety, or another pressure, or another somebody asking you to do something, and all of a sudden you've you had one little tea light, but now all of a sudden you've got like 30 tea lights under, and it only takes one more, and you're just gonna blow. And it's just such for me, it's just always stuck in my head because it's such a massive visual aid to be able to think, and I'd use it with myself as well. I'm like, hang on, how many tea lights have I got? Is it is it do I need to just pause for a minute or am I gonna explode? So it's a really good one to obviously have in your head, yeah. Um, when you're dealing with your children, when you're dealing with life, and when you're dealing with yourself.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

You definitely, and I think you know, I I think we feel certainly as adults, we feel responsible for everything. I mean, if you you've already said like for family, uh the bills of the household, the children, the work, even responsible, church, um, people's feelings also can be you can be carrying that. And you know, you're trying to be strong all of the time for every situation and everybody, and then eventually you feel like you're just carrying this emotional width of everybody else's around you, and I think that that's where it can start to just feel very consuming.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

And it's difficult, isn't it? Because you know, you've got it's almost like a flip side, it's it if for those that are aware, it's like if I stop carrying all this, everything's gonna fall apart, and so you feel like you have to keep carrying it, uh you know, otherwise it's you you know, like the bills are gonna mount up, whatever, you know, whatever the pressure is, everything's gonna mount up. And the difficult thing is some of us are actually really good at carrying things, we're really good at it, and it's almost like people just go, Oh, I'll give you another thing because you you're really good at that, you're very talented with all these things, and I'll just keep giving you and giving and giving. And if you're the sort of person that's like, Oh, yeah, I can do it, I can do it, then you're just gonna keep taking it, so we become dependable, don't we? Um, just because but just because we're carrying something doesn't mean that we're designed to carry it. Well, no, I was gonna say, I think that some people think we've got that fly back in here today again, who's joining us.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

I think I think some people think it's heavy, uh healthy. I think well, I think some people think that it's a uh a skill, you know, and in in some respects, yes, you could say that it's a skill, but at the same time, if you haven't got a way to process and deal with this yourself, you're just inviting that skill to add more layers to you. And you know, one thing that God's really been showing me recently is how much more exhaustion can come from just trying to control everything, you know, because it can be exhausted that whole plate analogy, keeping everyone's plate in the air and you're spinning, you're spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning. It's actually not hard to spin a plate, but just trying to control all of the plates all of the time.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

If you're just in one or two, it's fine, but if you've got multiples going, and that's what I'm saying. So I think that they're not occupuses, are we?

SPEAKER_01 4:24

No, I think it can become quite exhausting. I think it can become quite exhausting trying to carry all of these things, um, and and that's where you know that's where the problem comes in. It's not it's not even sometimes obvious. The control's not always obvious, it's just constantly feeling like everyone's dependent and you're being pulled in lots of different directions, you know.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

And it's different, it I think it's difficult because you know, like we say, oh but I've got responsibilities. How much of that is is that our own control over things? Or we'd like to have control over things, and it and I think human nature is if we don't have control over it, then there's that fear, isn't it? Oh no, how I have to have control, yeah, you know, you know, everything's just gonna fall apart if I've not got control. And so it's like, well, I can sort it, I can handle it, I can deal with this, and you you just keep telling yourself all these little mantras of like I can do it, and you know, I can handle anything, I'm strong. I am. Um that's what I always used to say to myself, I'm the strong one, you know. So you can you can you can you can convince yourself that you're infallible and you can do everything, but at some point, like that kettle, you're gonna explode, you're gonna collapse, whether it's health and your body just goes, I've had enough, whether it's you know, like mental, whether it's spiritual, whatever it is, at some point you're gonna go, I can't do this anymore, and it's all gonna come fall apart anyway.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

I I g I I gotta hold my hands up with this because just as you were speaking, I just thought that that's actually me because um I mean there's a at time just previous what obviously we've previous done with the centre and stuff, uh you just needed to crack on and get stuff done, yeah. And you become used to just doing stuff, and then when somebody says, I'll help you, you think, Oh, it's just it's just easier for me to do it myself. And that that that was meant and still made an extent even with small kids. You know, getting the boys to do things and they ask your question.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Well, I say, let the boys do it, and he goes, No, no, no, I can do that, I can do that.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

I'll get them to do something, and they'll say, Dad, how do you do this? Oh look, it's just easier, I'll do it. And that's me taking control, but but what I was going saying was that whenever I had the centre doing everything and doing everything and doing everything and leading up to the big event and taking all the weight of that and thinking I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, I just need to do this, I'll do that, and then I'll do this, and and then I just crashed, and then not long after that, closed the business and obviously then got ill and realised I I can't do these things. Yeah, you know, and and this is the point, this is the problem is that sometimes we think we can spin all these plates and we're really good at it.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Well, that's the thing, no no one looking from the outside would have felt or known how many plates you were spinning and and and how vulnerable I guess. Yeah, because from the outside you you look like you had it all together, but internally you were quite vulnerable within it.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Yeah, and and then and then the plates crash, yeah, and you realise I now actually can't do the things because physically I can't do them anymore. So this is the point of of recognizing and I think and this is when we say it catches up with you, doesn't it? Yeah, it's the fear of that things will go wrong or the fear that people will be disappointed, um the fear of feeling the fear of feeling yourself, yeah. You know, and if we're honest, I think sometimes surrender feels scary because at least with fear you've got an element of control. Yeah. So I think that you know, just sort of saying I can't do this, that that surrender pose, and it's not a weakness, it's not saying that you're that you're no good, but sometimes actually it's the strongest thing that you can do is just saying I've gotta let this go. It's just saying no. You know, it's uh yeah, it's a tough one.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Well, I've got some scripture that might help with that.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

Bring scripture. Not necessarily even help, but just yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

So it's in Matthew, and it's Matthew 11 28, and it's come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest in your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

You know, that's a it's a it's a popular piece of scripture, that one. And I I think that sometimes we just we can go to that scripture and say, Yeah, that that's relevant, that speaks in that situation. But I guess I would encourage you that if you're listening to this episode and you're feeling anything like what we've just talked about, I think you should turn it to scripture and just read it and meditate on it, just ponder it, read it over and over and over again, pray on it. Because it's okay reading the scripture and saying, Yeah, that speaks into this, but we need to do more than that. We actually need to really think about this and invite God into the scripture and into our lives, into our situation with regards to that. I love that piece of scripture.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

I do love that piece of scripture, but something you just said there, it it's it's as there's there's multiple scriptures obviously in here that stand out as like the popular ones, you know, the ones that would be on a t-shirt, or they'd be on your bookmark, or they'd be on something like that, and you think, oh, that's lovely. Oh, yeah, come to me, all you who are weary, and you know, but actually, when you really look into that, like when you were going through that time, you did you pause? Did you did you really dig into this sort of scripture? Is that what would have been more helpful? I don't know, did you? I don't I'm asking the question.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

My my thought in this well, there's two things I'll come back to. One, that piece of scripture, just to read into that more, is that you know, he's not talking, Jesus didn't say carry more things, yeah. He didn't say, you know, push a bit harder and I'll help you. He didn't say, you know, just pretend you're fine and then when you're not I'll pick you up. He just said basically, stop, stop doing what you're doing and come to me. Um so yes, it did, but from this scripture then I drew right, okay, what are you trying to teach me? What am I what am I missing here? Because you've not you've this situation um this this this illness or whatever has really physically stopped me from doing things. I can't lift, I can't walk. So what's the message in here? What am I trying to gain from this? And I think it's that allowing God to speak to you in that moment rather than just constantly asking God, God, why are you letting this happen? Why me? Look, I used to be able to do this and getting angry, getting frustrated. It's it's just stopping and pausing and saying, Okay, this this is how this is. Why, what and and it's taking time out.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

It's easy not to see that when you're in it, when you're in the thick of it, not necessarily with the illness. So I'm going back before you actually got ill, when you were doing the like the last the last parts of it, you wouldn't have you wouldn't have thought that was relevant. But but to me, that was incredibly relevant with what you were going through. But it's not until you got ill and the physical started showing, and then it was you were physically handicapped because you couldn't move, you couldn't do stuff, you couldn't even walk, you're on crutches and stuff. So that's limiting, but that's physical, so it's always like people can see it, yeah. You you don't have to prove anything. It's but before that, yeah, I think you had a lot of those restrictions, but you just weren't showing them because they're more internal.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

I I think that this is you know, I I'm not it's easy to have this conversation now, and it's easy to profess that I will do this.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

The learning, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 11:59

Yeah, and I think that being more aware of of scripture and situations in your own life, you can catch them early. And it's it's self-recognition of things that are those little flags in your life, you're thinking, Well think life's getting a little heavy now. I'm spinning a lot of plates. It it is not everything is not gonna fall apart for you to take 10-20 minutes out and and just be quiet and crazy though, because we think it is. We we do think it is.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

I remember you at that time, and you you know you would just on a go.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

I was a million miles an hour and just one thing to the next. But yeah, I think that if in amongst this, this is where we we have to we're constantly working, we're constantly practicing. It's it's you know, again, it's easy to have a conversation here, um, but in real life, yeah, it's more difficult. But it's these points that help us stop in real life and think life's getting manic, God, please be with me through this time. I have an awful lot still to do. I've already done a lot, but I'm feeling the burden of this, I'm feeling pressurized, I'm feeling tired, Lord. Just just speak into me, just help me. Because there was times throughout and I spoke before that particular um just before before we closed business, um doing the obstacles that people turned up and helped on some occasions like Jimmy helped with his guys, the last obstacle, and and and equipment turned up and things like that. So there was times that I definitely felt God was with me and spoke into me there.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Well we know from the last podcast, he's always he never leaves us, he's always with us.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

So, you know, I I can't rightly remember what I would have prayed during that time, but I I know I must have because these things did turn up, but it is recognizing when your plates you're spinning too many plates, yeah, and um, and it's recognising all right, I need to stop.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

But it's difficult going back to what we said earlier when everyone thinks that you're good at that, and it and it disguises as you know, like you know, oh you can handle that, you're you know, you're you're talented, you can do everything. So it's difficult, isn't it? Because you're spinning those few plates and then you're given a few more, or you put a few more on.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Well, this is where you need it, you need to set up healthy boundaries, healthy boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 14:13

What is healthy boundaries?

SPEAKER_01 14:14

You need to say you need to say, you know, I'd love to help you with that. Yeah, I definitely right now I have got way too much that I can't even cope with right now. But is there any chance that we could pick this up again next week? And it's just being honest with you. I'm gonna hold him to that and actually saying honest because that person might try to say, Hey, that's absolutely fine, there's no rushing this. Yeah, you know, um, or do you know what I actually think because this is the other thing is that we think we're so good at solving everyone else's problems, yeah. But there's other people that are good at solving problems, so it could be, you know, I hear what you're saying, Judy. Do you know the best person that you need to speak to? Yeah, it's Bob. Let me introduce you to Bob and it's and it's and it's passing your concern or the help that you need over to Bob because you know that Bob can handle this as well. So you're you're helping, and it's not you're not trying to gather. This is the point, is it if you are the type of person that takes on things emotionally or physically, yeah, you you can't start collecting these because that's what gets too much overwhelming.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Yeah. Yeah, it's true, isn't it? And then if you think about Jesus, when he needed that time out, he needed that time away, yeah. He took it, he went and rested, didn't he? Um, he withdrew himself, and you know, he would step away from the crowds and just pray to his father and give himself that time to be renewed and refreshed and restored and just to to unload any burdens that he had in that moment.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

Yeah, I mean, he is our teacher, yeah, you know, and and we should be following what he'd done. You're you're absolutely right. You know, if Jesus took those that time to do those things, then therefore he's demonstrating to us what we should be doing in our own lives. You know, I even think doing this podcast um, you know, for nearly a year and I, as we said at the start, you know, we both felt where we've been porn out a lot whilst we're also still trying to navigate you know our own lives at the same time, and there's pressure sometimes within that, and you know, wanting to encourage people and to show um to show up consistently to help others, you know, that's what we're doing here in this, and you know, we need to we need to navigate that and manage that as well with family life and our work life and so on.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Yeah, I think it also comes down to the type of person that you are. Yeah, like I'd like I don't like all the labels, I hate labels, but like empath and stuff like that. Yeah like somebody that will hold on to conversations, like if I have a conversation with somebody and they're going through a hard time, that will affect me, and I'll go back and I'd be like I'd pray on it, I might you know even try and you know, so we're terrible on it, we're we're solution people, we try and come up with solutions. And we did the pastorial course recently, and we both had a little chuckle because like you don't always have to have the solution to the problem. Sometimes you just need they just need to offload and you need to hear it, and they need space to work it out, but it's that you then hold on to it, don't it? You carry this responsibility of it and almost the expectations. Well, I know I I need to help this person resolve that, or I need to, you know, I need to be, you know, doing something because if I'm not doing anything, it looks like I don't care, yeah. But you are praying, and that's the best thing that you can do for that person, or get if it's obviously got approval, get prayer chained together to strengthen it. That's the best thing you can do because otherwise, if you don't and you just keep taking on all these things, your soul's gonna get really, really tired. I remember when I was young, you know, when you do work experience, when you're leaving school, you do leavers experience, don't you? And I went to work as a vet nurse, uh, two-week experience, and I couldn't cope. I was only in the back part, so I wasn't in where all the main you know chaos was happening. I was in the back part where all the animals were recovering and going through all of their you know, healing part of their treatments and stuff, but you would have them like needles coming out of them, and they were in pain and they were yelping, or you'd have one that's just come in because there's something wrong with it, or you've just got this mum that's got all these kittens, or all these puppies, even worse for me, all these puppies. I could I come home every night, and it was like I was taking home with me all the emotions of what was going on in that place, the stress from the staff that couldn't cope with all these new puppies that have come in, they've now got to figure out what to do with them. You know, you may have had a loss of an animal that day, and you've had to you've seen them all the emotion that's gone on from everybody in there, you know, the stress because there's emergencies after emergencies, and you come out, and you'd I'd come home every night and I'd be like, Oh, I just want to take those dogs home. Oh, I want to do this, I want to, oh, that cat, I need to help that cat, I need to do this, I need to do that. And I seriously had to sit down and talk with myself and my parents and go, I don't think I'm the right person that can be in this environment, yeah, you know, and it's why I ended up going into animal behaviour and dog training because obviously that's a different aspect of it. But it it depends, isn't it, who you are to be able to take that home. There was a lot of weight with that, so I commend anybody that can do that. I know, like Natalie at our church does it, and I honestly I commend her because it's incredible that you can, and I know she ends up taking stuff animals home, but it's incredible that you know God gifts us all differently, and He does that intentionally because what you can handle, I can't, or vice versa, and that's why we're meant to work together in unity and like you're saying, work with other people rather than just gathering it all and thinking you can do it yourself.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Yeah, I think you know, you you kind of hit the nail on the head there as well. I think you know one of the hardest things is admitting that you're struggling, or admitting that you're overwhelmed, or that you just can't keep carrying on the same way. Whatever obviously, whatever challenges you're facing in life, and there's there's just a vast rhythm to even start naming them. Um, but I think that's the first port, isn't it? Is just admitting that I have too much on my plate um right now.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

And uh it goes back to what we said in our last podcast of that word surrender.

SPEAKER_03 20:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

That word surrender, it's surrendering it all again, isn't it? And it can sound really weak to people, and I know going back to your, you know, like when you were here with this at doing the centre and you were going through all that, if I'd have turned around in that moment and said, You just need to stop, you're doing too much, and and kind of tried to shake you a little bit to realise it, you would have fell apart, you know. Like I knew I'd I knew you had to keep going, and and it was a case of what can I do to help lighten your load? So like I was in the background, like anything that I could take off you, I was starting to be tired of the thing. It was, wasn't it? Like you couldn't even think straight on the actual day. Like, I remember you just I can't even remember it to be honest. No, you you it's like it's just blowed out of your memory, isn't it? But I remember going around going, boys, can you just do this? Because dad's not functioning, can you just do that? And I'd come in and go, You need an extra trophy, or you need this done, you get it, and you'd be like, who needs what? It was like you were there, but you weren't there, and it was such a weird experience. But I know if I'd have turned around and said, sit on the floor and surrender, I would not have got up. So there was a point where we had to obviously keep you going until the end. But the minute it finished, yeah, that was very unhealthy, I know. But the minute it finished, you did collapse and you did surrender, and and you know, and the ugly tears.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

And it's learning, it's learning within that, it's learning your limitations and social work. And and you know that yeah, it's uh yeah, there's a lot, there's a lot. You know, there's another there's another verse that um that I wonder, it's in Psalms, it's a psalms uh 55. Write down. I mean, again, we're only taking snippets um out of these, but sometimes it's the snippets that can speak into it. Uh so it's Psalms 55, right down 22. Um, it says, Cast your burden upon the Lord, and he will sustain you. He will never allow the wretches to be shaken. And you know, again, it's just saying. Give it to me and I will hold you up. Give it to me and I will help you. I will sustain you. And that word sustain that's basically he will speak into your situation and and depend what your situation is. You know, be it be it tiredness, be it emotional, be it in spiritual, be it financial, be it comfort, yeah, loneliness, whatever it is, he will sustain you within that. Um and yeah, it just it just pushes in that you know that word as well cast, cast your burdens. It's not kind of organise them and pack them all up and then just shift them off to God. It's just just throw them, just just cast, you know, and and it's really difficult for those of us though that have just constantly live in survival mode.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

Don't you think though? Just to just uh like like I'm saying we've been through it, we're doing it, you know, like but it is the hardest thing when you're used to oh this fly wants to be on camera. When you're used to being in survival, yeah, it's just really really really difficult to just give it all and just surrender it. That that is the pinnacle point, isn't it? Yeah, um, people who've got spent years and years holding it all together, but eventually, you know, carrying everything becomes crushing.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

It does it.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

And you can't do it, and and this this is you know, in our own w world, this is highlighted, isn't it? You held it all together for such a long time, and what happens is because you're internally holding it all together, it's almost like an internal combustion. Yeah, your whole body's just gone, but no, I'm not doing it anymore, and I've kept telling you to stop, you're not stopping, I'm gonna physically make you stop, and that's what you've had to go through.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

And that's dangerous, you know, there's real danger in thinking everything and everyone depends on me. Yeah, you know, there's almost um a god like thought to that, you know, we're not gods, we're not gods in in that regard, and you know, that's where God says cast it to me, because everything and everyone doesn't depend on us, and this is what we have to recognise. There's a lot, you know, as an adult, you know, a lot you you there's a lot of things that you've got to sort out, and then as a as a mother or father, there's even more because you get dependence. So there is a lot of responsibilities. I'm not trying to shirk those things away, but when you just collect everything and say everyone's problems and every situation I have to deal with, that's that's not that's not for you. God says, put give that to me and I will carry, I will see you through that, I will help you, I will sustain you, and I will provide for you. Um so yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Sometimes though I think God asks us to stop striving before He actually changes the situation. And that's when like for you, when you were in that situation, you kept going and you kept going and you kept going, and it wasn't, I think, mentally, I think physically, but mentally it wasn't until you heard Dwayne speak to you when we was at the other church and we went just a visit, didn't we? And you had prophecy come to you, and and him telling you that. I think to me, that's when that switch went in your head of no, that's done. But you were still, you know, like he you you were still in that situation, and it was almost like he was allowing that situation to play through because you needed to work that out, you know, you needed to work that out as you were going through it, you know. So he he wants us to surrender whilst we're in it, not when we get the other side of it, because much easier, like if some suddenly you won the lottery, it's much easier to go, oh this is wonderful, you know. But but actually to surrender when you're going through it and just say no, I give it all to you, I think that's the harder part, yeah. But that's what he wants for a lot of the time. So that that word for you, and that was to me, that was definitely him coming through going, I've got you, it's okay, and then obviously at Len putting his hand on you and saying, You know, I'm here, I've got you, was even it just the confirmation I think that you needed at that point. So he comes through at the right moment.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

I think again we spoke about before, I think you know, we want to always take action, we always want to take control of situations, and you know, we wanna we want to be able to fix things. I know that we're terrible for that. Not terrible, that's no, but sometimes you just need it's not always yours to fix.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

But I think it's because we spent so many years in survival mode, yeah. And because when you're in survival mode, it's that fight or flight, isn't it? And you're constantly chasing your tail, you're constantly like, no, no, no, I've got to do this, no no no, I I need to expectations of other people, not wanting to let people down. When you live in that and it becomes your norm for such a long time, it's hard to see it and it's hard to get out of.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

It it it is, and you know, I've got a little verse here in Exodus uh 14, uh, 14, 14, 14. Um again, on a little snippet here, um, but the Lord will fight for you while you keep silent.

SPEAKER_03 27:03

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

You know, and and this is what I'm saying is it it can feel harder than fighting sometimes. You know uh being silent and doing nothing. And and I think when you're used to always providing, always fixing, the last thing you're gonna think of doing is stopping and remaining silent, like you said, about you know, praying when you're in the in the thick of things, and that's that's what we need to we really need to work in that. Uh and maybe that's the question for for you guys listening is that you know what are you carrying right now that God never asked you to carry?

SPEAKER_03 27:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:48

Wow. That's not you know, we we we choose to carry things, we choose what to get involved in. And there are things that there's gonna be no option, we're gonna have to deal with ourselves, but but I'm telling other things to do God ask us to get involved in that.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

Yeah, it's really it's really good practice to sit down and look at all the things that are causing anxiety or worries or concerns and to go, am I meant to be doing this? Have I took this on, or have I been asked to take this on? What's God trying to say through all of this? And just trying to get some kind of clarification. And if you struggle to hear from God yourself, go to somebody who, like, for example, recently somebody sent me a message of something that they were going through, um, and I went back to them and said, I don't know if I'm the right person for this, but can I ask somebody else? And there's a guy in our church, Steve, who is just incredible with prophetic words and hearing from God, um, and that person came back and gave me permission, so I wasn't doing anything wrong. And I went to the went to him and I said, This person has shared this with me, and they've give me approval, I can share it with you. Um, and I just wondered what God was trying to say in this because I'm not getting anything to be able to help them, and they are actually asking for help, yeah, you know, and I I want to be able to go back, and if it's nothing, that's fine. Obviously, I'll just have to go back and say, you know, you need you know we all need to sit and pray on this more. Um, but I just wondered, and honestly, it was like you could just see as he was closing his eyes, it's sort of he he was reading like a because I showed him the message, he was reading a line of it and then closing his eyes and kind of nodding, and it was almost like God was he he was just in that conversation, God, okay, yeah, I get it, yeah, yeah. And then at the end he went, Yeah, no, this is what he's saying, and and it was all when I went back and relayed it, and and then I connected them, it it was all true to what was going on, and it all made sense, and and so sometimes it's really good to try and try and just sit with it and see what God's saying to you about it, and then reach out to if you're not getting anything, reach out, and it's why like sometimes we've been to you know, we might have been to another church or we might have seen something come up and oh let's go to that, yeah, because it speaks to us, you know. So it's really important to do those things as well.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

I think you know your example there is perfect because you know, for me saying that you know, did did God ask us to carry X, whatever, fill in the blank. That's not to say that you're just dismissive of what comes and whoever comes and the problems that you're facing. I'm not saying to dismiss them, but again, are you being asked to physically carry it? Your example is good with that in terms of you took it and realize that there's somebody better position to deal with this, and not fobbing off, but passing off to somebody else who can carry that better than you can. So, again, don't mistake in when we say don't get involved in everything, but just don't gather everything.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

Don't feel like you're the one that has to answer everything or take everything on in just because you're good at such good at things.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

I think I was gonna say maybe you become so used to functioning in an exhaustive way that you don't even know what rest feels like.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

But also, sometimes as well, and I've had this with conversations recently actually with somebody that you can be in a role and you can be doing it because you think nobody else is gonna step up into that role, and you're like, oh well no one else is gonna do it, I'll do it, and you just keep on and you keep on and you keep on until you're getting to the stage where you're actually like not that you're not enjoying it, but it feels more like it's becoming a burden than than a you know than a blessing in some respects, but you keep on because you're like no one else is gonna do this, and then you step out for whatever reason for a moment and just go, no, actually, I do need a time out, you know, a break or what have you, and then all of a sudden other people step in, and then all of a sudden there's there's an opening, and and you can step back in, it's not like it's gone from you, but you've got the blessing of other people being able to help you, and I think that's incredible because that's what family's meant to be, that's what church family's meant to be, and it's meant to be if you've got a skill and you're really good at it, like like for me, like the things that we can do. I'm like, well, I'd rather bring somebody into that. I remember when I used to teach um floristry at uh college in London, and I decided I wanted to leave. I was it was the right time, it was the right season, I was done there. Um, I loved it, absolutely loved teaching there, but I was done. I was like, it's not for me. But I had identified in one of my students the potential. Like I saw that she had, she was capable of doing it, she'd been through a bit of a harder life, and and I just I knew that I could help her in some ways, and when I left when I left, I decided rather than just sort of saying I'm I'm done, I'm I'm leaving, I decided that I was going to say to her, would she like to like I'm gonna leave? Would you like to step into the position? I can't promise it, but I can suggest it and I can train you in. And so when I went to the college and said, Look, I'm I would like to leave, I'll leave on XY, you know, whatever date that was. I then spent that time, I put her forward, and I then spent that time working with her with the college to help her to go into that position, and she continued on in my position or in you know the position in the college, I think she might even still be there for for years to come, you know. But that was amazing because it wasn't me going, oh, I'm done, I'm out, and it wasn't also me going, oh, I don't want anyone else in that job. It was going, I I see there's there's a situation, I can see the potential here. Let me encourage you by sharing and walking with you and bringing you up into that. Um, and I think that's what we should be doing. We've got a skill, it's a case of bringing people up with that skill, so it ends up we can all do it together rather than just going, oh no, I can do this, you can't, and holding it all in. It's it's about community and it's about working together and surrendering in that, and also if there's something you want to do but you can't do, like they say, surround yourself with the people that you want to be, don't they? Yeah, it's the same thing, it's if you see somebody you know that has something in them that you want a you know a in some way, you know, talk to them about it, surround them, ask them to mentor you, you know, work with them. It's it's how we should be, we should be helping. It's like going back to apprenticeships, isn't it? That type of thing. They seem to be dying out, but it's it's that type of it's the only way we learn is when we work together and we don't have ego or pride or jealousy or anything mixed in. It's just everyone wants to be together and help and work.

SPEAKER_01 34:44

And it's that's self-recognition, you know, as well. You know, if life is hard for you at the moment, and you know, you kids are playing up and you you're you're maybe struggling financially, and you're just trying to make ends meet, and and somebody else comes with another problem, maybe another family member comes with another problem. That it's it's within all of that is taking time to prayer and reckon pray and recognise that you need help, you know, and and and it is turning to scripture and it is you know, quoting scripture in prayer, and because it's in that moment that you're talking to God, you're sharing with God, you're asking God for help, and you're allowing then space for God to do that, to to to help. Um, and I and I think that that's you know, as you said, recognizing that within that person. Um, you know, maybe it's recognizing the person you can speak to for help, reach out for help, and um you just gotta remember I think that some things belong in God's hands and not your hands. Um that I think that's the important recognition of that, you know, don't get collecting meaning I can start collecting everything.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

But we don't have to carry everything. No, you know, not like you said earlier, not every not everything is ours to carry. No, you know, the burdens, you know, not every person's issues, not every outcome is is for ours for us to you know to be consumed about. Yeah it's about surrendering and giving it to him and letting him be the one that leads and going, God, I can't do this on my own, I need you, and and and giving that over to him.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

And but it's it's recognising, you know, if you listen to this uh episode now, it's recognising am I that type of person that collects situations, that tries to fix everybody, that tries to solve all the problems, and and if that's the type of person you are, that doesn't mean that you're a bad person at all.

SPEAKER_03 36:30

No, it's a good party person.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

But it you do need to sit with that and reflect on that and think, am I carrying too much? Because you've got to also remember if you carry too much, are you gonna be able to do the things that you need to do well?

SPEAKER_00 36:42

And the raw honest truth is that's us, isn't it? Yeah, 100%. And that's why we say most of these, if not all of these podcasts, is a journey for us to help us along this way and figure it all out.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

Absolutely. So I think that's a good way to end this episode. Guys, we hope we really hope that this speaks into you and and it's the beginning of something for you. That's maybe the beginning of self-recognition of the type of person that you are, of the troubles that you're going through, that you do need to reach out to other people, you certainly need to reach out to God, um, you know, look into these scriptures, uh, get into prayer, allow space for God to speak. I think that's the key as well. Um, and just remember you're not alone, you're absolutely not alone. And if you need help, physical help as well, reach out to your church family. That's what a church is. A church is uh a community of people that believe uh in one thing, and that is the God Almighty, and and they will and definitely should be there to help you, so you're definitely definitely not alone. But thank you so much for joining us on this episode, we really do appreciate it. As always, reach out with your messages and comments. We do read them and we do reply. Hit the subscribe button to help us reach more and more people as well. And if you want to support the show, just follow the link below, and you can do that as well. But until next time, the root price is strong, and we will see you in the next episode.