Holy, Not Hormonal: Choosing Self-Control Over Excuses

Hormonal imbalances are real — but they’re not a free pass to act however we feel. In today’s episode, we’re talking about what it means to live Spirit-led even when our hormones are out of balance. We’ll discuss the difference between understanding our bodies and excusing sin, how to communicate with grace during hormonal shifts, and why God’s standard for our words and thoughts doesn’t change based on our cycle. This is your encouragement to take every thought captive — not just when it’s easy.

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Shelby Payne (00:01.688)
Hi friends and welcome back to the Fearfully and Wonderfully Diagnosed podcast. I'm your host Shelby and today's episode is one that's been on my heart for a while. We're talking about hormones, specifically how we can learn to control them instead of letting them control us. I want to start with a phrase you may have heard before. Maybe you've said it to yourself. Maybe you've said it to your partner. Maybe you've said it to your family.

and go something like this. Sorry honey, it's that time so you'll have to deal with the gremlin that comes out instead of your devoted and loving wife for the next week. We laugh about it and there's humor in it sure, but hormones are no joke. And here's the thing, it's not a free pass to throw self-control out the window. And it's definitely not a biblical reason to let our tongues run wild.

Shelby Payne (01:04.522)
I want to be clear. This isn't to minimize what we go through. If you have PCOS, endometriosis, or any kind of hormonal imbalance, you already know the emotional rollercoaster is real. There are days where it feels like someone hijacked your brain, your body, your ability to regulate your own emotions, and it's okay to acknowledge that. It's even okay to ask for grace.

It's okay to rest or to have extra support or a little more kindness from your people. That's part of community. But it's not okay to weaponize our hormones and to use it as an excuse. Let's ground ourselves in scripture for a second. Second Corinthians 10, five says, we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.

And James 3 reminds us that the tongue, though small, can set a whole forest on fire. There's no asterisk on those verses. They don't say, take every thought captive, unless your estrogen is dropping. Or, watch your tongue, unless progesterone is being extra wild this week, or if you're on your period. We are still called to live spirit-led lives.

even when it feels harder because of what's going on inside of us. The fruit of the spirit doesn't disappear just because we're in the luteal phase. In fact, that's when we might need it the very most. Now, I'm not saying we pretend that our hormones aren't real or that we have to suppress our feelings. We can have awareness without using it.

as an excuse. It's helpful and even necessary to learn about your cycle. It's helpful to tell your husband, this is where I'm at hormonally right now. I may be a little more sensitive or tired this week. But there's a big difference between asking for grace and expecting a free pass to lash out and say whatever you want. Let's put it this way.

Shelby Payne (03:29.522)
Imagine if your hormones are like a storm. You can acknowledge the storm. You can ask for an umbrella, or a warm drink, or little more patience. But you still don't get to go throwing things at people just because it's raining. To be honest, people would look at you like you were crazy if you did. So what does it look like to walk in the spirit even when your hormones are in chaos?

Recognize when you're triggered. That irritability? That urge to snap or cry or shut down? Acknowledge it. Don't stuff it. But name it and invite God into it. Predecide how you'll respond. If you know certain days are rough, have a plan. That might mean scheduling less. It might mean spending more time in the Word. It might mean simply saying, I'm struggling right now.

and I want to be gentle, but I need help. Ask the Spirit to be your regulation. Galatians 5 22 through 23 talks about the fruit of the Spirit, which is love, joy, peace, patience, self-control. These aren't personality traits or hormone-dependent gifts. They're evidence of walking closely with Jesus. If you've ever said, sorry, I'm hormonal,

Let me challenge you with a shift. Try saying, I'm feeling more sensitive today, but I want to be kind. This week is hard for me hormonally, and I love your grace, but I also want to be careful with my words. Or I'm asking God to help me respond gently, even when I feel overwhelmed. That's humility. That's growth.

That is faith.

Shelby Payne (05:32.501)
Sisters, we are fearfully and wonderfully made, hormones and all. We are not slaves to our bodies. We are not bound by shifting emotions. We are filled with the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead. And he can help us choose gentleness, even when we want to rage. He can help us speak life when we want to spew frustration.

He can help us walk in self-control, even when everything in us wants to give up control. So yes, tell your people where you're at. Let them love you well, but don't hand the reins over to your hormones. You've got something stronger in you, the spirit of God. So let's live like it.

Thank you for being here, If this episode resonated with you, would you take a second to share it with another woman walking the same road? And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss what's next. Until then, stay anchored in truth and filled with grace. And know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, even with your hormones.

even with a diagnosis.