Embrace The Great
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Embrace The Great
"Different Lenses: Childhood, Choices & Changing Perspectives"
In this week’s episode of Embrace the Great with your host Shawn and co-host Dominique, the fellas kick it off with porch-sitting vibes and a funny run-in with traffic — but quickly take a deeper dive into how childhood experiences shape the way we think, move, and handle relationships as adults. From fatherhood moments to marriage lessons, and even an unexpectedly deep take on the Big Bad Wolf’s side of the story, this episode is all about seeing life through someone else’s lens.
Hey, we can talk over the hand claps. Hey, we can talk over the hand claps. Look, I was trying to introduce it the right way, man. Welcome to this week's episode of Embrace the Great Podcast with your host Sean Ellaby and my boy Dominique Muldrow. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. What's going on, big dog? Ain't nothing much, man. You know how we start off every day. What's on your mind?
SPEAKER_03:I can't say the heat. Well, it's been good weather. Real good weather. Port sitting weather, man. Port sitting weather, man. But a few things, man, just been going on throughout the week, man. Funny things have happened to me since last time we've been here, man. And it just made me stop and wonder, man, like, you know, why don't people take the time to look at things from other people's perspectives sometimes? Oh, man. And, you know, it's crazy, funny thing, turning in here, man. You text me when I was close and said the parking was bad. So I turned in. And I slammed on brakes because I was like, nah, I'm going to go the other way. He just takes me parking. I was back. And I know the car behind me was cussing me out. So I'm like, I wonder are they cussing me out or like, or they think, okay, maybe he got mixed up, you know, let it go. Yeah. But yeah, man, that's about it, man. What about you? What's been going on for the week?
SPEAKER_01:For the week, man, been chilling for the most part. It's been a chill week. But again, in true fashion, man, you got to play daddy duties. And I always say that, man, look, you try to get your kids up out of here. Young adults living their life and, you know, people have plans and then that thing, you know, a busted tire. So now I got to go change the tire Friday night just to help my daughter. But at the same time, man, again, it's one of those things that made me feel good that she can call me and I can be there. And it was funny because, you know, she parked at my mama's house and my mama come out laughing like, okay, well, do your job, daddy. And just laughing like, I know you're a good daddy. That's why she called you, her first call. And... That's what it's supposed to be all about. Yeah, as a dad, though, it's great, but sometimes you don't want that call. No, no, I know exactly what you're saying. Yeah, like, man, come on, man. But, you know, blessed to be getting the call, so I ain't want to act like I'm ungrateful. But at the same time, as a daddy, like, come on, man. Like, one thing I noticed being a father, your problems are your problems alone. And the family's problem is also your problems. You better learn how to solve them. My thing is to try your best to get ahead of them and be in front. Because once you get behind, it's hard to catch up.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, they don't give a damn
SPEAKER_01:about how we feel. Pretty much. Pretty much. I've been down that road plenty of times, man. It's like, okay, looking for the great, looking for the great, looking for the great. And the great part of it is the relationship you build with these people. But other than that, man, it's hard. It's hard on the brother.
SPEAKER_03:We just got to have satisfaction into knowing we are the go-to people we the go-to call or we the problem solver or whatever the case may be. We just got to take pride in that. I saw, you know, I don't know. I don't like to go down this road, but I saw a post last night that made me laugh. It said, what benefit does a man get out of paying all the bills in a
SPEAKER_01:relationship? It's supposed to be peace. It's supposed to be peace, but you know, look, it's easy to pay all the bills in your own house. You don't have to worry about everybody else, but Like I said, it's joy to come with the family, man. It's some joy to come with it. So that's the benefit. But other than that, man, look, yeah, yeah. I
SPEAKER_03:don't like going down that relationship
SPEAKER_01:road,
SPEAKER_03:man, because,
SPEAKER_01:yeah, I'm going to just leave it at that. Yeah, relationships are different and everyone is unique. So I learned to look at things, like you said, from a different perspective. And in recent years, and I say recent years, I start looking at, you know, marriage in a whole new way. perspective because again, trying to look outside myself and what I want and what I think and okay, what are the needs and thoughts of my family? And even, even within that, like stuff, you know, and I always say stuff that gonna make sense and stuff that don't make sense. And as a dad, we become the mediator. Yeah. So, so with that being
SPEAKER_03:said, now I've been knowing you and your wife forever. I just put it like that. I ain't gonna put no years on it. You know, A lot of things that come up within y'all's household, whatever the case may be, you don't got to get personal about it, but she might make a decision on it and you might think that's the worst decision ever. Have you ever stopped and thought, why did she make that decision? And then you thought through it and be like, okay, I understand. I might not agree with it, I might not have did it that way, but I see why she
SPEAKER_01:did it. And then you just left it alone. As I got older, that was my stance. Because at one point I would challenge her, why are you doing this? Why are you doing that? And not taking myself out of the situation and looking at it from her point of view. And again, it kind of goes into my question, right? And I talked about it before we get on. How has your childhood affected your adult outlook on life and relationships? And part of the childhood thing is understanding her childhood and what causes her to react certain ways. So when I start looking at that, it was like, okay, that makes sense. Because I say this, my wife is very emotional at times and is strong emotion. But sometimes it errs on the side of fear. And again, I think it's the marriage balance where I don't, I'm not as jumpy or as, quick to react. I like to think things through and have a thought out reaction. So something happened this weekend, and what happened over the weekend, I forgot about this. Sunday, my son come home cramping up bad, like extremely bad to the point he's yelling, almost in tears. And so, you know, being a former athlete, understanding cramps, okay, give him some water, Gatorade, bananas, you know, stuff we automatically know to do, right? Yeah. And so I just left the house and she called, you need to come back and get here. So I come trying to see what's going on. She said, if you don't hurry up, I'm going to call the ambulance. I'm like, for cramps? You know, so one of those things, again, I look at it from a point, like, I know we don't have to go that far. Right, right, right. But understanding how she didn't know how to handle the situation and her first call is always to me, again, thankful. No, we don't want to get the call, but thankful that I'm getting the call. Right, right. Again, you got to solve the problems either in your house, even if you're not there, you got to learn to solve the problem. So eventually, you know, he got, well, I went to the store and got him the stuff he needed. But it was like, if I'd have known all of this, because I, you know, I wouldn't have reacted the way I did. And it almost started, it almost started an argument. But years of experience let me know, Sean, pick and choose your batter. So I wouldn't go make that one the batter.
SPEAKER_03:So how does that make, and I'm going to get off the relationship part of it. But how does it make you, Like, what's so hard about it, though? What's so hard? And I can answer it, too. Like, for me, it's like, I guess because of, like you said before, how we bought up, some things to me should just be logical, bro. Like, I mean, you know, I don't have an example right now, but some things just should be logical. And I sit here and think, like, it ain't common sense to tell you this, that, or the other. And then you want to make a decision, right? Right then and there without having to go through all those channels. Like if something come up, whatever the case may be, I mean, if it rains, if you, before you go to work, you get dressed, you check the weather. If it's raining, you know, okay, I got a hoodie. I got a raincoat, whatever the case may be. Get my umbrella together. But some people are going to wear something that is going to be flimsy, going to soak right through the clothes or whatever the case may be. And you say like, well, why would you do that?
SPEAKER_01:The clear answer to me and how I was taught as a youngster, common sense ain't common. It ain't. So if you haven't experienced it, it's not something that's on your radar. Now I had to realize like everybody don't got the same experiences. So again, backing up and thinking. So that's how I deal with it. Like, okay, have they seen this before? Have they not seen this before?
SPEAKER_03:And that's a good point because along with me thinking about, I knew what it was. I was in traffic. I was in traffic. And that go back to what I said when I got here. I was in traffic. And there was, you know, the ambulance and fire truck came through. Everybody that drives knows what. You hear ambulance and fire truck, what you're supposed to do, either pull over to your right or just stop until they pass through. Well, this car decided to take it upon themselves to just pull out into the intersection, then stop.
SPEAKER_02:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03:And the ambulance was first. The ambulance swerved around them. Luckily, it didn't hit them. And then as the car passed by, I saw the person pass by and the person had on headphones. So I'm like, oh, they might not have heard the sirens. Yeah. So that kind of made me think. But at the same time, you know, throughout the week, it just had me thinking like. Three things in just the history of the world, whatever it is you watch on TV, historic events, three things in history or today's world that might turn out different or might change your perspective if you look at it from that person's point of view. I know the hot topic right now for, I'll just say what, the last eight, 10 years has been Donald Trump. What is he thinking with these policies he's passing, whatever the case may be. I never took time to think about things from his point of view. Some things. Some things from his point of view. By the way, I will say this about Donald Trump. He has, as a president, he probably has the best jump shooting form ever from shooting on paper towels.
SPEAKER_01:But anyway. That's always a classic.
SPEAKER_03:But three things in history that I, you know, kind of thought about that might have changed your perspective. Now, this first one, it might be a little off brand. You might think, what the hell is he talking about? So, Everybody know the story of the three little pigs and the wolf blew the house down, whatever. Huff and puff blew your house. Everybody know the damn story. All right. So in fourth grade, I was in fourth grade. You know how you do little plays and stuff like that in fourth grade. We did a play defending the big bad wolf. All right. And in this play, I was the judge because they took it to court. They took the case to court. So in the case, it made the case for the big bad wolf said he shouldn't be held liable for the demolition of the first two pigs house. Why? Because the wolf said him and the pig were neighbors. They were good neighbors. And one day the wolf had a cold and, And he went to their house looking for cold medicine. So he didn't blow their house down. He sneezed. And within this play, it provided evidence where the wolf actually had a cold. Yeah. So you can't blame the wolf for blowing. He said, I didn't blow their house down. I sneezed. They lying. I didn't say I'm huffing and puffing and blow your house down. I was saying hi, hi, hi, choo. So that kind of put things into perspective. Another thing, and a lot of the sports fans can attest to this. Everybody knows Marshawn Lynch, infamous Super Bowl where they got the ball down to the goal line and the coach decided to pass the ball. The quarterback decided to pass the ball. Well, it was the call. It was the call from the coach to pass the ball. Pete Carroll. Just like you said, stupid. Dumb mistake. Pete Carroll make a lot of good ones, but that was a dumb one. 100%. I agree with you. I'm sure he's been asked the question if he had to do it all over again. Damn right. He'll hand Marshawn Lynch the ball, right? But I did a little deep dive. As a coach, you've been a coach. I'm a coach myself. You know, you think you have game plan strategies. Mind you, this is the Super Bowl. So just some stats that I pulled up to make me try to think from what Pete Carroll's perspective might've been at that time. All right. So stats that I have, the Seahawks last 10 games of that season, right? Marshawn Lynch fumbled the ball four times. That's like a fumble every other game, right?
UNKNOWN:Yep.
SPEAKER_03:All right? So Pete Carroll could have been sitting there thinking, before the game started, man, Marshawn had a little fumbling problem. We need to do something to alleviate some of this pressure off of him. Maybe that's why he been fumbling, getting the ball too much. All right? Another thing, there's footage of the Seahawks, that same play that they ran, running that play successfully from the goal line and scoring touchdowns during that season. There is footage of it. So, If you a coach, you Pete Carroll, you sitting there thinking, yeah, we done did this, all right? This play worked every time. We damn near 100% on this play. We going to do it. Let's run the play, all right? Another point that you brought up, Pete Carroll called a play, but he didn't throw the damn ball. Yep. All right? So another one, and I'm a football guy. And a lot of people that's out there listening, I'm sure you are. Basically, in football, it's an unwritten rule in football. When you got second and short, it's an unwritten rule as an offensive mind. You're going to throw it, right? Off the play action. So, case in point, at that time during the game, Seahawks had one timeout. So, let's think. If they ran the ball, they're on second down. And they didn't get into the end zone. Of course, they got to call timeout. Wasn't but a few seconds left on the clock. All right. So they don't get it. Call timeout. No more timeouts. You got to throw the football. All right. Maybe he was trying to outsmart him. All right. So that's just a few things that I think will help think from a personal perspective. Another big topic that's been going on this week, of course, with Jerry Jones and Michael Parsons. He don't want to pay the man his money. But I took the time to put myself in Jerry Jones' shoes. All right, now, I gave this man a contract four years ago, however long ago it was. He hasn't played out this contract yet. Yes, he is a good player. Yes, I've given other players their money. In the same year I gave them their money, they didn't play, you know, up to the contract. All right? Another thing is, I mean, if we're being technical here, What player hasn't Jerry Jones paid? Agreed. Maybe the man just want to pay him when he good and damn ready. You ain't finna tell me what I'm going to give you a billion dollars.
SPEAKER_01:And that's most of us these days. Yeah. I think that's just billionaire talk. You can't go tell a billionaire what they're going to do. They're going to do what they want to do and you adjust.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So a lot of things, man, that goes on in the everyday world or historic events, man, I think we just as a society, man, sometimes just take the time to think, why this person do that? you know, okay, I see why. I think that'll cut down on a lot of the arguments, debates, some of the confrontations that go on in the world, you know, that sort of thing. You know, another thing that I've thought about, man, and I'm going to let you get to your topic. As far as, and I'm going to bring this up next week, hopefully our guest comes, you know how we have presidents. It's been going on for years. Why not have presidents Why not? Why don't we elect two presidents, one president for each party? You know, Democrats, you vote for your president. Republicans, we vote for our president. All right. Now we have two presidents. All right. Now, every debate or whatever the case may be, where it should that comes up. We let these two people come to a head. That way, Republicans can hear from Democrats perspective and vice versa. You see, I think. And then they come up with, you know.
SPEAKER_01:I like that idea, but I wouldn't do it as two different presidents. I'd do it as an alternating. And I say alternating, so therefore everybody have a chance to reign. But I have, right now we have a Republican president. I would have a Democratic vice president. That's
SPEAKER_03:strong.
SPEAKER_01:That's strong. And that way it creates continuity. So when the next presidency come, okay, this Democrat. Recycling, yeah. And now in the next one, the vice president will be a Republican. That's
SPEAKER_03:another way of looking at it,
SPEAKER_01:man. And that way everybody stay in power. Everybody don't want to court. But the way things are going now is going to be this side or that side. We're not working together to get a lot of stuff done. Because before Donald Trump, a lot of the time, like 90% of the time, Congress agreed. Republicans and Democrats agree on about 90% of the items and people don't realize that, you know, based off how media portrays things. But 10% is what they kind of argue about. You hear the immigration, you hear certain stuff, foreign policy or whatever. Most of the stuff, 90% of the things in America, people, the Republicans and Democrats agree on. Now, Starting a third party is going to be something that's going to be crazy. I think the way things are going now may be needed because a lot of people don't feel the Republicans, a lot of people don't feel the Democrats, and they want to do something to make meaningful change and stuff that people actually want. And I think sometimes as they get to that level, the presidency, they lose touch with the common people. I think that's why I always say the local representatives, the state representatives as well, Because I think a lot of time, man, you can ask the average person how many state representatives they know. A lot of times people ain't going to know too many. I know city council members. I think I know two county council members, but a couple of people in the state house. But at the same time, again, I probably know more than most because I see him try to talk and interact with some of them to try to see what changes can be made or what's coming down the docket or what do you think will help our current city or state or whatever the case may be.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. But yeah, man, that's just some things that from that topic, man, you know, I'm always the type to try to see what can be done. And it could be simple topics, man. What can make this great world of ours better? And I think just taking the time to look from another perspective, not saying you got to agree with it, not saying that you got to, you know what I'm saying? have it sway and change your mind, but just kind of take the time to understand, okay, I see where you coming from. That was dumb as hell, but I get it.
SPEAKER_01:Understood. And see, that kind of goes into like in the childhood, how did your childhood affect your adult outlook on things? And I'm just kind of going back in mine. My mama, my grandma, we had, I don't want to say a fun house, but people come to our house to chill. It was no judgment zone. You come over there, I don't care what walk of life you have, you come over there, you might get some to eat, have a drink, play some cards, have a good time, listen to some music, dance. We always had a festive environment. Not growing up with a whole lot of money, not growing up with a whole bunch of physical things, but... That love was there. And again, the understanding. I'm thankful for the understanding that my mama gave me, man. And I say childhood, what kind of drives me now. During Christmas, well, I say during Christmas, my mama would look at me and my sister, look, I got$200 a piece. If your one gift costs$200, that's your fault. If she get 10 things for that$200, that's her fault. Y'all getting the same thing from me. I got this, I got this, I got bills to pay. I don't make enough to get food, Stan, but I don't make enough to make a... a good living. So y'all got to deal with whatever y'all got to deal with. If y'all want it, y'all go get it yourself. So it's like one of those, I always had to figure things out and it kind of goes back to the time she came home. Bathroom door got broke somehow. I can say I ain't had nothing to do with this one. I can honestly say I ain't had nothing to do with this one, but she went to Lowe's, bought a door home and she kind of put it, I'm like 11 or 12 years old. And she's like, here, go put this door in the bathroom. I'll be back. Like, What you mean? Put the door on the bathroom. I'm like, I have no clue how to put a door on the bathroom. Like what I'm supposed to do? She looked at me straight in my face and said, you smart, you'll figure it out and walk out. And so I'm sitting here like scratching my head, like, man, how do I do this? So I start looking, okay. Okay, three screws here, three screws. I start figuring by the time she came back, the door was on and she was like, oh, you figured it out. I will go in and get you some help. I'm like, well, if you could have told me that I would have waited, but you say you ain't needed it. I'm like, you're right. that shaped my mindset on a lot of stuff is just to figure it out. Like if I don't know what's going on, figure it out. But I also think that hampered me because I don't like asking questions. Asking for help, yeah. It's hard for me to ask for help and I'm trying to get better at it, but it's still one of those things like, nah, not delegating and managing, I can do that. But just to ask, hey man, come help me do X, Y, Z. I don't do that often and I'm trying to work past that, you know, because again, the load get heavy and, I always say I ain't want help. I just want the strength to carry it. But as I get older, look, I'm realizing I need the help.
SPEAKER_03:And that's funny, man. That is one of my prayers every night. You ask God to help you, but you want the strength. I pray for the strength just to bear any load that he give me. And I don't know if that's right or wrong. Like you said, that's just what I've observed coming up. And that's what I've been taught. But let me ask you a question. So you mentioned about the family, you know, people coming to the house, playing cards, whatever the case may be. And I kind of, you know, my household was similar to the point, you know, extended family coming over, not just, you know, I lived in the house, mom, dad, sister, brother. But, you know, on Sundays at the church, everybody at the house, either at my grandma's house, at the church, at the grandma's house, everybody over at our house playing cards, that sort of thing, every holiday, whatever the case may be. And it's to the point where now I like it. Don't get me wrong. I like it. But I like to go to it. But just the experience of it, I don't want it at my damn house all the time. A lot of times I welcome company. Yeah. Anytime almost, I welcome company. But that traumatized me. You know why? Because I was the one, damn it, having to clean up all that shit afterwards and all this stuff like this, having people come in my room, tearing up my stuff. You know what I'm saying? Stuff like that. So now as I, you know, I have my own house. It's like, all right. Yeah, I have a few people over from time to time. But at the same time, I would rather go over somebody else's house.
SPEAKER_01:Man, look, I've been hosting for a while. And part of it, I'm sort of like you. I want to go other places. But with my wife and family, she always made me realize it was easy to have it here because that way it was a comfort for her. And it just became easy for me because it's the same thing I grew up with. I come from a big family. So anytime we have something, it always tends to get bigger. than sometimes we expect because of her big immediate family, my huge extended family, as well as friends and colleagues and everything else. So yeah, I get the hosting stuff. I host it for years and still don't mind. Again, the cleanup afterwards is always the worst part, but then the kids, like you say, I recruit the
SPEAKER_03:kids. So your kids, when they get their own spot, they probably ain't, I mean, I'm sure, like I said, myself, I welcome people to my, I think, That's why you supposed to have your own home to invite people over and, you know, have your festivities or whatever the case may be. But at the same time, man, it could, it could get overwhelming, man.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So, but I, when I first bought my first house, this was, I was 25 years old. My whole thing was with the intention of everybody who knows me, we made it, you know, I bought this house or anybody, you know, we coming, this is y'all come, y'all need a place to lay y'all head. No, here you go. And, It was one of those, like a sense of accomplishment, you know, like, okay, man, I bought my own house. I'm doing this, I'm doing that, but I can invite people over. But you know, when I had to move to Florence and had to get another house, you know what I'm saying? And it was different. Cause it was like, okay, now I'm home. My first house was in Rock Hill, but my second house is home. So it felt like, okay, I can invite my family. I can invite my friends. I can invite everybody over. We just have a festive time and they got to worry about going to find a venue. We can laugh, joke, have a good time here. And if anybody get too messed up or can't go nowhere, can't drive, hey, man, we'll find a place for you. Come on
SPEAKER_03:now. I don't even know the right phrase. But I was in there. Put it that way. I was in the number. I was in the number. So, yeah, man, that's definitely it. I'll tell you another thing, man, to your topic of basically how you came up, how it affects me as an adult, man. My parents, they had me, my dad was 20, my mom 19. So, of course, you know, at that age, you know, you're still doing things, you know, you want to hang out, you want to go this place, that place, you know, that sort of thing. And, you know, we come from the era of, Well, you know, and it's still there. You get dropped off at your grandma's house. You're going to your cousin's house. Yeah, whatever the case may be. And that was the case a lot of times. But, man, a lot of times, and I can even think back from as young as five years old, man, my mom and dad took me with them almost wherever they went. Regardless, if they were at a friend's house at the party, I was there. I might have been in the mix. Then I'm in the back room. Um, when they traveled, I was, they, Hey, we, you know, we not take, you know, you're not spending that day. You come to, you know, so at a young age, you know, I, I remember first grade, man, you know, how you have your little, uh, what is it called? Journal or whatever, you know, teacher asks you what you did this summer type of thing. Um, every summer, man, we would go to New York, New Jersey. Um, cause you know, we got a lot of family up there. Every Thanksgiving. I remember that week. of Thanksgiving, I never went to school up until I got like to maybe third or fourth, maybe fourth, fifth grade. I never went to school the week of Thanksgiving because we were going up in New York. And now that I'm older, you know, Well, when I got older, I mean, it was like, okay, traveling, that's not new to me. You know what I'm saying? And I know a lot of people listening probably thinking like, well, he just went to New York or whatever. I mean, coming from where we come from, man, that's a 12, 13-hour
SPEAKER_01:drive for one. Hey, man, look. You know what I mean? You're talking about that. I've never been to a– I think I've been to one trip outside of South Carolina as a kid until I got on that basketball team. When I say that, basketball got me out– was my travelings. I think my first trip was, excuse me, to Atlanta. YBOA, but then my only family trip I took, my mama packed me, my sister, and we went to Virginia to, what's the name of the theme park there? King's Dominion. King's Dominion. So I went there. That was the one thing I can remember from my childhood that we traveled and actually had a good time. And it's funny. because my mom always talk about my grandma got upset because she took me and my sister and then included my cousins that would have went too. You know, my mom was like, I'm trying to do something for my kids for once. She got to look at it from your mom's perspective. Yeah, and she didn't want to. You know, I always didn't want to. But man, look, that childhood saved me because it was always, you know, just family dynamics, right? You know, my mom was the oldest of three kids and the oldest of her mother's kids. And they always looked at her like she was their mom type thing. And look, grandma, Look, that was my surrogate mama. Mama was figuring things out. Like you said, my mama, I mean, she was 18 as well, single mom. And then my sister was two years behind me. So it was like, she was raising us. She was growing up while raising us. So I can honestly say I grew up with my mother. Like I seen some of everything she seen. And it gave me a different perspective on a lot of things. So when I got, you know, you would say this when I was younger, I always acted older than what I was. All I hung was older people.
SPEAKER_03:Right. And that's another thing, man. And both of my boys, now that I think about it, man, you know, I feel like they both have an old soul. I think that's the phrase you're probably looking for, man. Like, you know, and I think everybody asks nowadays, like, what's your dream vacation or whatever the case may be? And I always say, man, I always wanted to go to China, right? I always wanted to go this place or that place, but I want to take my kids with me. Yeah. I got you. It doesn't mean anything if, if I can't share that with them and they get that same experience, man, like, you know, and that's just, I had an opportunity to go to a Dallas Cowboys football game and I didn't go cause I couldn't, I couldn't afford to take my boys. Yeah. Another thing I, um, A friend of both of ours, man, Carlos Powell, man, he was in the NBA. It was the D-League, whatever it was back then. And he made the All-Star game. And the All-Star game was with the NBA All-Star game. It was in New Orleans. I'll never forget. And he called me. He was like, and it was on my birthday. Now, for those of you who don't know, me and my oldest son, our birthdays are a day apart. Mine is the 17th. His is the 18th. So... He called me that week before, man. We in there. We in New Orleans for your birthday all-star weekend. I'm excited, man. Two days, I thought about it. I was like, bro, I can't go. That's my son's first birthday. And I called him back. He was like, what's up, dawg? I said, bro, I can't go. Like, what you mean? I said, it's Cam's first birthday. And he thought about it. He was like, Nick, you a real dude for that, man. I'll never forget that, man. He was like, dawg, I ain't think about it. But at the same time, you know, it take a man to say, bro, I can't go. I can't miss my son for his birthday. You know, I say no for family in a second. But, you know, like
SPEAKER_01:a lot of things, man, shape you. Yeah. You know. And part of that, too, like, you know, you think about the childhood, what shaped me. Right. Talk about the son and his birthday. Because my son, his birthday the day before mine. So this last year we went to. a Dallas Cowboy game. He's a Cowboy fan. I'm not, you know, but I don't hate. But anyway, we went to the game and it was just me and him. It was his first flight. I'm thinking he turned 18. This was a passport to manhood. Made him talk. Got some stuff off our chest. And not in no bad way because it's like trying to get an understanding to him because this is my quiet child. And to try to take him on or something that was all about him for his birthday. Even though it was my birthday too, I just wanted to get away, but this was the first time away from his mama. He was like, why you ain't taking everybody? I'm like, cause this is specific to him. This is his birthday. And like I say, I always tell my kids, what's for you is for you. I can't do everything at the same time for everybody. As much as I want to, as much as I try, what's for you is for you. And it was so exciting for me to be able to do that because like you say, that part of the childhood shaped me because I didn't have that. Right. And so I remember the best gift I ever got as a child, man. My mama came and brought some Charlotte Hornets tickets to see the Washington Bullets, man. I was, I've never been that excited over a gift in my life. That's cool. That's crazy. Washington Bullets. Washington Bullets. That's how long ago it was. That's how long ago it was. That's crazy. George Murerson, all of them. I remember, I mean, I'm just, I was, I was a fan. I was excited as all outdoors. And then it was like, that gave me an idea for Christmas of one year. I took my other son to, I took, my oldest son to the Cowboy Games. So this particular year, one year for Christmas, I'm like, I'm going to get my boys like my mama got me. So I didn't say nothing. You know, I got a little envelope and I bought Laker tickets to see Lakers and the Charlotte Hornets because I know my son is a big time LeBron fan, the baby boy. And so... You know, when I'm parenting wins, when on Christmas morning, I'm always like laughing because my wife laugh. I don't know what they got. I just kind of give her the money and let her do it. So I don't be doing, I'm just as surprised as the kids, but I probably get one or two things. But in my one or two things, I try to make sure they hit. And so now all I heard, you know, I started to open the gifts and then, you know, my little gift was small because it was tickets. All I heard was, ah! I'm like, what in the world wrong with you? And I saw what he had in his head and I was like, and I just kind of hit that Kobe fist. Like, yes, I got him. Because I know that feeling. You know what I'm saying? I got a chance to give my son that feeling and that was big for me. All right, man. That's
SPEAKER_03:a lot of times, I think, you know, rather for the good or bad, man. And one thing that I always, and not to get all emotional, I always respected about you, man. You remember eighth, seventh or eighth grade? I think eighth grade. I think it was eighth grade. When you told me, we had a conversation, we was sitting in study hall, and you told me that when you finally met your dad, I think he came to see you play basketball. Yep. And your mom kind of told you who he was then. And then that always stuck with me. Even at, how old are you in eighth grade? 13? 14. 12, 13, whatever the case may be. It always stuck with me, man. Even at that age, I was like, dawg. my dog ain't going to never let his kids see, you know, have that type of feeling. And that, and that's one. And again, that goes back to how you were brought up. So that that's, that's actually, you know, the two topics that we had go hand in hand. So those are definitely things that, you know, I think everybody can, can take heed to and, and it kind of have that seeing different perspectives of the world, seeing different perspectives of people, and then kind of letting your, how your upbringing, your, kind of let your light shine as far as, okay, why you think this way? Why you do the things you do?
SPEAKER_01:And going to some of that, one of the things I wanted to touch on, right? Excuse me. And I'm, you know, kind of living the life now where, you know, back in third grade, I was at elementary school and we had a gifted and talented program that we had to ask to go travel to. I was the only one from my school going from that particular grade level going to this school. So I go there. And immediately, again, I go to, and I'm just saying this, my elementary school is probably 99% African-American. And so I go to this Gifts and Talent program and I walk in and I'm the only black male that I see. I see a couple of females, but it's like other, you know, everything else, but I was the only black male. And I'm saying like, why am I the only one? Yeah, thinking out loud, you know what I'm saying? Like not thinking... Too much of it, because again, being a kid, I'm just, you know, happy to be leaving the school to go do something because they had, you know, they had lunch. They served a lunch that I had love. So that was my highlight of my week. Right. And so I fast forward to now and it was like, you know, I was the only one and I was used to being the only one. And so I'm like, why is it like that? So again, go to, again, a predominantly black high school. Then when I graduated from the high school, I went to a PWI program. And when I got there, I wasn't the only one, but it felt good because I had other people who look like me, who can help me in different ways and help me with a different outlook on life. And like I said, it made me realize like, look, you can be doing these type of things, but because I've never saw it as a child, it kind of made me think it was impossible. So fast forward, I talk about that, that the experience that reached to talk about now, like I've been at my job now for 12 years. And to this day, I'm still the only black male at my job. So it was like, okay, that childhood at REACH prepared me for what I'm doing professionally now. And one thing I take from it is how to deal with all types of people. I think sometimes how we grow up, we just grow up around what we look like. And my experience at REACH, my experience at my college, Winthrop University, let me shout that out. And now my experience at my job is like, okay, those experiences helped shape me to make sure I understand people and look at things from a different point of view and not just look at things from one way. Makes sense, yeah. You know, because again, there's some stuff, again, I wasn't privy to, I don't know, but again, it's like, okay, how can I get a perspective of why they think the way they do? Why they
SPEAKER_03:do, yeah. And like, again, man, we can go on and on about that, but that's just another way of this world, man, that I think if people just took the time to do that, man, a lot of A lot of things could be resolved. A lot of those outbursts and those rage moments where we have can kind of diminish, man.
SPEAKER_01:It's that quote, man. Don't let your emotions overpower your intelligence. I think a lot of times that will happen. We mad about this. We upset about this. And we take that out. And one of my first trigger responses was always anger. And I get it. Cause again, childhood, my mommas ain't play no games. He flip out. So it's like, okay, if you get me mad enough, that's what's going to happen. But it's going to take a while to get there. But once you light that bomb, you got to be ready to deal with whatever come after.
SPEAKER_03:Definitely,
SPEAKER_01:man. But I didn't calm down. But again, recognizing that as a trigger. So even with my kids, my first response is not always anger. It's to listen. And I always tell them, look, I don't want y'all to get in a situation. And like, I'm scared to call my daddy. Like, no. Call your daddy, let me help you get you out of the situation. I'm still going to tell you how I feel. You're going to get that part, but let's make sure you don't mess up nothing as far as something that can affect the rest of your life. I'm definitely big on that, man.
SPEAKER_03:But yeah, man, definitely two good topics, man. Anything else you want to touch on that? I got my pick six I want to dive
SPEAKER_01:into. Just something that kind of going to hit national news real quick. It happened today at a military base in Georgia. active shooter, so to speak. I think, well, I'm hearing he killed five people, at least. But I know, I actually know one of the people that was one of the survivors and, you know, just continuing to pray for that family and everybody involved in that situation, man, because it's, this active shooter thing is getting crazy, man. And I don't, I don't foresee a solution to the problem that people are actually going to take action on. I think everybody got it. ideas but nobody actually gonna take the action again because everything boiled down to the dollar
SPEAKER_03:yeah definitely when it comes to things like that man um you know those could be things you never know what what could set someone off or whatever the case may be to do that so that's
SPEAKER_01:what i leave with kindness and respect yeah you never know what people going through yeah and i had somebody say man look if you weren't kind to me that day i'm telling what would happen yeah i'm like man look you Every day you got a chance to start over. So if you have a bad day, wake up tomorrow and make the next day a better one.
SPEAKER_03:Definitely, man. So definitely prayers to, you know, both families of the victims and as well as, you know, the family of the shooter as far as, you know, whatever they may have been going through.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, for sure. All
SPEAKER_03:right. So we're going to get to our picks. Well, my pick six segment, I'm not sure if you had any... Things you had, but I'll go with, I'll start with the kind of the either or, or kind of segment of peak six. Okay. All right. Let's see. Let's see. All right. So here we go. Peyton Manning, Tom Brady. Peyton Manning. All right. Pool or beach? Tropical Smoothie or Smoothie King? Tropical Smoothie. All right. Cheetos or Doritos? Doritos. All right. Master P or Baby? That's Birdman and most of y'all. I'm old school. Baby. I'm Master P. Master P. All right. Zaxby's or Chick-fil-A?
SPEAKER_01:See, that depends on the day, but today I'm going to say Chick-fil-A. All
SPEAKER_03:right. All right. So what you got? With me and Peyton and Tom, I'm going with Cool Tom, man. Pool or beach, man, that's... I can go either way. It just depends on the environment, the vibes. I used to work at a pool, so that beach was easy. But, you know, you think about the beach, you think about the sand
SPEAKER_01:and all, you know, the
SPEAKER_03:swimming
SPEAKER_01:part. I think about the waves and the relaxation.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I think about the scenery. I'll put it that way. Tropical Smoothie, Smoothie King. If we talking about just smoothies, I'm going with Smoothie King. Yeah. Tropical Smoothie, they got food, man. They got those wraps, those Pretty good. Cheetos, Doritos. I'm going with Doritos all day. Master P or Baby. I'm going with Baby. Okay. I'm going with Bird. I'm going with Bird. I get it. Master P, you know, he was... They kind of took off, I ain't going to say at the same time. Master P did first. As far as globally, you know, I'm pretty sure their careers started around the same time, I'm sure. Yeah. But, you know, the totality of it all, man,
SPEAKER_01:I got to go with Birdman. And see, that's why I say Master P, because not only, you know, not just counting his music, the number of people he put on and even after they dealt with him, how many people still talk positive about Master P versus how many people talk about Baby.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, but again, you ever saw his documentary, Birdman documentary?
UNKNOWN:No.
SPEAKER_03:Got to watch it. It make you look at stuff
SPEAKER_01:from his perspective. I got you. Oh, yeah, for sure. I always say Peyton Manning and the reason why I heard Ray Lewis talk about which one was harder to prepare for. And he said Peyton Manning is way harder to prepare for than Tom Brady. Yeah. And I'm like,
SPEAKER_03:you got to go with that. But as far as dealing with an expert from another expert. Yeah. But if I'm looking at it. Tom
SPEAKER_01:Brady did more with less. And see, I don't necessarily look at it like that because I've always thought Tom Brady's defenses were way better than Peyton Manning's defenses. And when Peyton Manning did have good defenses, he won Super Bowl. When the defense wasn't on par, he gonna do what he can do. Defense gotta stop people. And that's why I look at it like the Patriots always had a strong defense to go with Tom
SPEAKER_03:Brady. But on that flip side, with a strong defense and a number one receiver, Tom Brady ain't lost a game.
SPEAKER_01:Except the Super Bowl. But
SPEAKER_03:it
SPEAKER_01:goes
SPEAKER_03:hand
SPEAKER_01:in hand. And my thing would be, if you trade them, if you put Peyton Manning on those Patriots teams and you put Tom Brady on those Indianapolis Colts teams, what do they look like? Now that's hard to say because...
SPEAKER_03:I'm just saying. I mean, you go with Peyton Manning, he's always had a good running back. You know, he's always had a good receiver too. You know, that sort of thing. So that's why I picked. All right. So my other pick six, I'm going with some sort of questions, just a deep dive about yourself. Might have to think about a few of these. So my first one, what's your most used emoji? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:My most used emoji probably will be, it might be the little eyes. I probably use the eyes more than anything else, just the two eyes. Yeah, that could mean a lot.
SPEAKER_03:I'm going to go with the one, it's like a little half smirk. Yeah. That's mine. I don't even have to look it up. I know that's mine. Yeah, mine is the eyes. And I make people mad with it. I can get long paragraphs, and I'm going to just send that little smirk. All right. If the apocalypse is coming, all right, zombies everywhere. Give me three people you want on your team. Three people I want on my team for zombies. Just the apocalypse. You know, they got to fight. Yeah, fictional, anybody of this that has ever been introduced to the planet
SPEAKER_01:Earth. Anybody ever? Okay. Anybody. I'm dealing with zombies, man. Fictional, non-fictional. Hey, let me get Arya Stark. I don't even know who that is. Game of Thrones. Oh, okay. Yeah, I see Game of Thrones. Yo, you ain't watch the Game of Thrones. Nah, nah. Hey, man, look, I'm going to go back to that one because at first, I know how y'all like realistic stuff. Yeah. I didn't think I would get in the Game of Thrones, but they get you. I tried to watch it three times. They got me. But Arya Stark, just because, you know, her capabilities. Because I don't really watch too many zombie movies, so I have no idea what it was I go to. I'm going to go Donald Trump. Why? So somebody, he can take it, he can take it. Hey, he'll find a way. That man get out of there. That Teflon Don, he can find a way. I get it. Oh man, let me get the vampire in Brooklyn. Eddie Murphy on Vampire with the vampire. I want to make sure it's cool and it's something different. But yeah, he can do his little thing. I have no idea who you got. I'm taking
SPEAKER_03:Mike Tyson. Okay. I'm taking DMX. Yeah, I can see that one. And I'm taking Phil Jackson. You know how smart. Yeah. Get him high one. He going to give us the strategy. And Mike Tyson and DMA just going to go for it. They don't give a damn. All right.
SPEAKER_01:In the friend group chat, what friend are you? I'm the chill one, man. Well, I guess I'm the serious one. Y'all probably say I'm the more serious one. I can be silly, I know I can, but it's like, as I get older, I realize I'm more of the serious one, trying to drop more dates and stuff going on. That's me. What you think?
SPEAKER_03:I don't know. What would you cat- I'm in probably four, I think I'm in like three or four
SPEAKER_01:different friend groups. Hey, you're going to bring the action. You're going to bring something to talk about, laugh about, or something like that. You're going to bring it. Okay. Okay. You an initiator. Let me say it like that. You an initiator. I get it. I get it. I get a conversation started. There you go. Okay,
SPEAKER_03:I can see that. It'll pop in your mind and you'll just pop it in. Oh, I like to drop stuff in. I know the boys gonna laugh at this. Like the one... The one I put in the other week. Ain't nobody respond though, but I put the new juvie song, Hot Boy Summer. Yeah, I listen to it. Yes, sir. Hey, go listen to that. Y'all listen to that and let me know what's happening. All right. So where am I at? All right. We stay with the music. Five albums you would listen to if you had to listen to for the rest of your life. The only music you had to listen to the rest of your life. Okay. That's
SPEAKER_01:five. That's a whole lot. Yeah. And I got like a few in my thing. But one would definitely be John Legend, Get Lifted.
SPEAKER_03:People sleep on that.
SPEAKER_01:I don't. I can listen to that. People sleep on that. Of course, I want to say Juvenile 400 Degrees, but the older I get, I'm probably going to take about five, six songs off that album, but I can listen to the other one straight through. Definitely go on DMX's Dark and Hell is Hot. I can probably go two or three of his albums, but I'm going to say Dark and Hell is Hot. Yeah, two more. So which one? Three I already said. DMX. You said DMX, John Legend, and Juvie. Juvie. Okay. Okay. Fourth one of them, listen to an album, start to finish. What else in my playlist, man? I'm trying to think of a Lil Wayne album because I know I listen to a lot of him. But in all honesty, R. Kelly, Black Panties. Oh, wow. That's another one of mine. I've listened to a few. I didn't listen to the whole thing. Man, look, I like that one. He talk about a bunch of different stuff, but that's R. Kelly, so y'all leave it where it at. And... Yeah, man. In all honesty, that last one's going to be a tough one because I'm trying to look at my catalog and which one would I listen to all the time. And I know as soon as I see it, I'm going to know. And I'm sitting here thinking, thinking, thinking. Yeah, I got a lot of DMX in here. You can add another DMX album. I ain't want to do that because I can listen to all of them. I got you. It's dark and hell is hot. Or... Flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood. I know that's not everybody's favorite, but I knew that one word for word. Oh, yeah. And I'm going to go J. Cole, Cold World. I like that one. I can listen to that one on repeat. That's cool. I like J. Cole. I can't listen to a J. Cole album. That's just my... See, that's the first one. That's the one I listen to like that because I, you know, the rest of them I can hear. I like them though, but I...
SPEAKER_03:On the five I go with, of course, you know, It's Dark and Hell is Hot, 400 Degrees.
SPEAKER_01:I'm... I got to have that. Man, scratch that last one. Man, it's Lauryn Hill. Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. That's my fifth one. I know I'm an R&B guy. I'm not the biggest rapper. I love R&B, but that one I can listen to. I actually listened
SPEAKER_03:to that a few days ago, man. That whole album was a single. That's what I mean. But I'm going with It's Dark and Hell is Hot, 400 Degrees. I'm going to throw some R. Kelly. I'm going to throw 12 play in there. I figured that one was coming. Oh. I'm going to go with The Last Don, Master P, and my last one, I'm going to go Damn, Kendrick Lamar, Damn. I got you.
SPEAKER_01:Them will be my five, man. See, I'm sitting looking at it. Nah, I'd probably take Black Panthers off and put T.I. Urban Legend.
SPEAKER_03:It
SPEAKER_01:would
SPEAKER_03:be a cross between Damn and Jay-Z Black Album. One of those. I'd go with those. All right, two more pick six questions for you. What's the worst job you ever had? Worst job I've ever had. I don't think I...
SPEAKER_01:I
SPEAKER_03:know what you think. We're trying to get counsel, bro.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I know, man. I know. That's what I'm saying. Trying to think about the worst job I've ever had. I loved my first job. Then I kind of went to... I didn't like desk staff. I think when I was at, when I was working desk staff at Winthrop, that was the worst one I had.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, on campus?
SPEAKER_01:On campus. Oh, okay. And I say the only reason why it was the worst was because the hours were terrible, but I had to do it because, you know, that was my time allotted, but the hours were terrible.
SPEAKER_03:Let me tell you something. During COVID, I picked up two extra jobs, but the worst one was at freaking FedEx, dog.
SPEAKER_01:Well, maybe that's the
SPEAKER_03:word. Them people work. Like, in that warehouse, getting them trucks loaded. And then one night, the belt broke. So we got to push everything down by hand. And they had me up top on the ceiling. Man, I finished on the ceiling. My shirt was black. I never thought I could sweat that much. And you know, all them people gave me was another shirt and told me, thank you. See you tomorrow. He gave me another shirt. Hey, my man. Hey, man, come on, come in the office, man. We appreciate you, man. I'm thinking, you know, a gift card. So, man, we need to draw, pull out a shirt. Yeah. Nah. All right. The worst job I had was at this time. All right. So, the other jobs I actually liked. I got you. Last one. Most famous person, I don't want to say ever met, most famous person you ever encountered, I guess I should say.
SPEAKER_01:That one might be easier. I'm thinking Shaq, but I actually dapped Shaq up and actually saw him on more than one occasion, but I actually dapped him up. Now, the one I had the longest conversation with was probably Ricky Smiley or Jesse Jackson. I actually sat and talked with Jesse Jackson for a while. He came to an event when I was in college and, you know, came and gave us background access. He's an Omega, so he came with all the cues and we actually sat down and had a conversation with Jesse Jackson.
SPEAKER_03:Is
SPEAKER_01:he honorary or he went through? No, he went through North Carolina A&T. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. Okay. He's definitely in there. But yeah, who are you? Oh, by far,
SPEAKER_03:Michael
SPEAKER_00:Jackson. Okay. I was
SPEAKER_03:there. I can tell you the whole story. 2002, we was at Universal Studios and Michael Jackson... We were trying to get on the Spider-Man ride, actually. And this is the funny part. We were trying to get on the Spider-Man ride, and they kept saying, it's a delay, delay, delay. And my cousin literally sat there and said, man, there's no delay. It's probably somebody famous like Michael Jackson on there. Just said, just randomly said it. So we finally out on the ride. We got off. Everybody familiar with the Universal Studios Spider-Man ride. When you get off the ride, you go straight into the Spider-Man store. Yes. But for some reason, the store was closed and we walked around and Michael Jackson was with his two kids. They had the Spider-Man mask on. You couldn't see their face and they were in the store. And before you knew it, the whole park got wind of it. And everybody banging on the window, Michael, Michael. So as they doing that, me thinking, I was like, okay, he got to come up out of there. Where he going to go next? And I just picked the shot. He might come in here. Lo and behold, he ran straight in there. Him and his kids ran in there. And I was probably within six feet of him. And I love Michael Jackson to death. Greatest ever to do it musically. But Oh, his face. Oh my God. It looked like if he sneezed one time, everything would have fell off. Oh man. Everything knows. But that was an experience for me. Something I tell my kids and I tell a lot of people, man, I saw Michael Jackson. Yeah, I got you. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But yeah, man, that's my pick six for the week. Okay. And that wrap up a good week, man. Lesson for the day, man. One thing I can think about, anything you got as far as a topic or a message for the day?
SPEAKER_03:No, man. Just piggybacking off my topic, man. Just, you know, everybody looking out for each other, man. Look out for somebody's perspective. Don't be so quick to jump on them, man. Talk to them. Figure out why. Especially with working with youth and kids, man. You know, you see a kid walk into school, man. Don't just jump on them because they got their hat on. Or don't just jump on them because they're not moving fast enough. Hey, man, put them to the side. Hey, are you good? All right. Everything good? All right. Then you jump on them after you figure out what's wrong with them or whatever the case may be, man. But, you know, just figure out each other, man. Have those conversations. They ain't got to be long conversations. Just look at things from other people's perspectives. See where they're coming from. And I'm pretty sure, man, it might shine a different light of perspective on whatever it is you got going on, man. Shout out
SPEAKER_01:to the world. Hey, for sure, man. Hey, that leave it as that. Don't let your emotions overpower your intelligence. And that will help with these relationships. We signing off. Yo.