How to Use Your Singleness Well

In this episode, Brandon, Kadin and Jilliane discuss what it looks like to use your season of singleness well!

Scripture References:

• Matthew 6
• Isaiah 43:6-7 
• 1 Corinthians 7
• Matthew 18:21-22
• Romans  12:16 
• James 1
• 1 Corinthians 13 
• John 15:11

The Workshop exists to equip and encourage young adults to live out their faith in Jesus—in their friendships, workplaces, families, and relationships. This podcast creates space for honest conversations, biblical truth, and practical wisdom as we “workshop” what it looks like to live godly, purposeful lives in every season. Our community is for those committed to becoming more like Jesus, together.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Workshop Podcast. On this podcast, we workshop what it looks like to live gathering physical lives as young adults. And today I'm here with Aiden and Brandon. And we're talking about how to use your singleness well. I am very excited for us to talk about this podcast because I just think it's relevant to our people and the people who are listening to this podcast. And chances are, if you clicked on this episode, you are curious about how to use your singleness well. So as we dive into the topic, I first want us to define the context of how we're explaining using your singleness well. Because I believe that the world or people who are outside of following Jesus can define this one way, and then us as followers of Jesus, and as we encourage you to live godly lives as young adults, we define it another way. So how would you define it in the way that we are giving wisdom and advice?

SPEAKER_00 1:02

I would say when we're talking about using singleness well, um, I think that primarily the lens that I'm thinking of is how to use it according to what God would claim is a life well lived. And, you know, verses that come to mind whenever I'm thinking about what does that actually mean and look like is a life that is invested in the kingdom of God advancing here on earth. And so that might be a more narrow focus, but I think that primarily a lot of this is going a lot of what comes to mind for me is investing your time in your singleness for the purpose of advancing the things that the Lord cares about to seek first the kingdom and allow all these other things that we want to be added unto us. That's in Matthew chapter six that that appears. So I think that primarily that's what comes to mind. I think that uh maybe more broadly speaking, we could call using singleness well in terms of uh how do we also experience the fullness of joy that God has for us in this season? How do we delight in the things that God delights in? How do we deepen our trust and dependence in Him through this? So um there's a much broader interpretation of it as well, but most specifically, I would say utilizing this time to invest it in the things that God deems worthy.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

That's so good. Yeah. I think of it in a similar vein where I'm like, it how do I use my singleness well? And I'm gonna say something that hopefully doesn't implode the rest of the content that we're gonna talk about on this podcast, but I would say maybe the step one of using your singleness well is not being so hyper-focused on your singleness.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

I was gonna say that too, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

And just being focused on your walk with God and what he's doing in your life and being a better follower of Jesus. I think a lot of people think of using my singleness well as in preparing myself to be a good husband, a good wife, a good spouse someday. But if you're being a better follower of Jesus, by default you will be a better husband or wife. So you will be using your singleness well and you'll be advancing the kingdom of God. And the verse that came to mind for me, Isaiah 43, really Isaiah 43, verse six and seven, which it says, I will say to the north, give up and to the south, do not withhold. Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth, everyone who I called by my name, who I created for my glory, who I formed and made. So your primary purpose in your creation as an individual is to glorify God through your life, and that's by becoming more like Jesus every single day. And then, like I said, in effect, the the result of doing that day in and day out is using your singleness well. So I don't I don't want to say like don't totally block your singleness out of your mind. If you're a young man, Proverbs would say, He who finds a wife finds a good thing. It's it's okay to seek out a godly woman in your life and to have that on your mind. And if you're a woman, you know, it's not wrong for you to desire to be in a in a godly relationship. So you don't have to like stiff arm singleness out of your out of your mind, right? But at the same time, maybe we can be a little bit hyper-focused on our singleness and we can just focus on advancing the kingdom of God and God's gonna work everything out in our life just the way that He wants it to be.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Yeah, I was going to say something similar where we get overly focused on the season of life that we're in, but like it's not that deep. Look at it as in I want to use my life to build the kingdom of God, period. Like, and I just happen to be single. And I think people get so caught up in the if I start using my singleness well, maybe God will just call me to singleness and keep me single. But I I think I've said this on the podcast, and I say this to my friends all the time. If you're called to singleness today, you're called to singleness, and we are not to worry about tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

And by the way, you can use your singleness in unique ways that a married person cannot do to advance the kingdom of God. You're almost blessed or gifted in your singleness in a way, in the same way that a married person can use their married life to glorify God in a way that a single person can't use. So you're you're not even at a disadvantage. In many ways, you're at an advantage to do the things that we're talking about in your singleness. So see it as see it as that. Use it as a gift and steward it well.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

Yeah, I think that word gift is just, you know, we don't need to go extensively into this, but I do think, you know, when we mentioned that, we're talking about 1 Corinthians 7, which speaks of singleness as a gift. Really, it says, you know, to each I give uh or God has given a gift to the unmarried and to the married. And so there is a gift for both. And there's just a quote that I love by a guy named Sam Alberry. He says, if we balk at the idea of singleness being a gift, it is not because God has not understood us, but because we have not understood him. And I think that uh it it's kind of we have this tendency to say, psh, like, okay, people in the church call it a gift. We all know it's not really a gift, though. Like, we all know that there's actually something better. And that's not just like God not understanding our needs or your needs as a single adult, but it's us not understanding the goodness of God in the season that we're in. So there is enjoyment to be had. Uh kind of mentioned that word earlier. There's enjoyment in each and every season, and I do think a part of the gift is the ability of focus, the the gift of simplicity, you know, during that season of your life.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Yeah. And just for context, so the primary audience of our podcast is the young singles ministry of our church. Um, Brandon is married, Caden and I are not married, and I think a lot of people I hear a lot of people say, like, only married people talk about singleness in the church. Like, we want to hear from single people. So, like we want Brandon's not gonna say. So, Brandon, that's all that he had to say. I'm just kidding. Um, but like this is coming from all different kinds of perspectives, not just a like, I'm married now and like you should be grateful. But like, we have either walked through or are walking through singleness, or we walk through this with hundreds of people, and we just want to encourage and share like how you can use your life well in this season because you don't want to look back on this season and think, like, man, thank God I'm not single anymore. And I hated that season, but and I also didn't use it well, but like I'm just ready to be married. You don't want to look back at your singleness and think that you want to live it fully and trust God in it. So as I ask the next question, I would love for y'all to share what are some practical ways that you would tell people to use their singleness well.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Practical ways, yeah. Practical. I'm gonna look at this from a little bit broader perspective, then we can get maybe more narrowly focused on it. The few things that came to mind for me is I thought of because I was I just kind of talked about this a similar topic in a lesson that I taught. And three words specifically came to mind as and and a lot of this came from like, okay, I look at spiritually mature people in our church that I respect and I I try to even like model my life after them. And a lot of these people were married, a lot of these people were in uh relationships, and I see how they treat their spouses, and I see how certain characteristics in their life bless their marriage. And that they're all embodied in the life of Christ. But the the three words that really came to mind for me is humility, sacrifice, and grace. And when I think of somebody, and this is the the cool thing about this is you can do this in your singleness because this can be applied to every single relationship in your life, not just the relationship with your significant other. So your friends, your family, the stranger on the street, the lady at the counter that's checking you out. Like you can be humble, sacrificial, and gracious to everybody that you talk to. And specifically, like with humility, counting another more significant than yourself. I think of man, in in your singleness, doing this, modeling this, nobody wants to be with somebody who is totally self-consumed, totally about themselves, looking for self-gain, selfishness is really anti-gospel uh inherently. I love Romans 12, 16. Live in harmony with one another, do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Man, probably the recipe of a bad relationship is being wise in your own sight. Always thinking you're right and the other person's wrong. Sacrificial. This is like especially, man. I I talk to the young men, young men listening to this podcast. You want to do well in your singleness, you want to do well in your married life, you want to do well in your life as following Jesus, die to yourself. Die to yourself. You want to mature in your relationship with the Lord, die to yourself. Your desires, your preferences, me, me, me has to go. That has to go. That's for childhood, that's for you know, consuming milk. We've we've graduated to meat, we've graduated to solid food, then we become sacrificial men. We think about the people around us, we think about the woman in our life or the woman that we want to be in our life, and we think about how we can serve her and not ourselves. So obviously, Christ's ultimate example of sacrifice, literally to the point of death, literally to the point of hanging on a cross, giving up his life for people in the same way you're called to give up self for the sake of those around you, and hopefully, prayerfully for my men listen out there for your wife someday. And then the last one is gracious. Matthew 18, 21 and 22, Peter came to Jesus and said, Lord, how often will I forgive my brother that sins against me? As many as seven times. Jesus said, I say to you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times, and never ending, never-ending grace, never-ending forgiveness. Recipe for a bad relationship is keeping a record of wrongs. First Corinthians 13. So keeping no record of wrongs, walking in grace, walking in forgiveness, and those three character qualities, if we want to practically grow in our singleness in every area of our life, but even in the mindset of like preparation, I think if you can grow in those three character traits, and and you could add tons to that list, that's just a very simple list for you. I think you're gonna do well for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Yeah, there's a lot of great stuff there, and a couple of things that I would just maybe tag on to that or re-emphasize. Caden, you talked a lot about your desires, and I think that that is a great thing to seek to do in your singleness because w what we do not rule over in terms of our desires will rule over you, and that is going to cause tension and friction and a hindrance to future marriages, and and so I think about James chapter one. When desire is conceived, it gives birth to sin, and sin when fully grown brings forth death. And so if you allow desire to run rampant, then it is going to bring forth death in your life. And that's something for you personally, however long this season of singleness might be for you, and it's certainly something for a future marriage that will have negative effects. So whatever sin might be existing in your life, deal urgently, deal violently with that now in your singleness. I think that that's maybe a step one. A second thing I would say practically live in community. Live in community. What I mean when I say community, just for the sake of definition, is I don't just mean go in and out of a large church gathering. You know, I think that that in our minds sometimes we can think, okay, I'm attending church, therefore I'm accomplishing community in my life. But what I really mean is find a small group of people. I think that there's value in there being co-ed and gender-specific community that you're walking in. Co-ed because you're getting exposed to the opposite gender. You're learning, okay, what are they like, how do they think, um, what are their needs, how do they perceive things? How how can I best serve the opposite gender? So I think that you're learning all of these things. You're seeing the full image of God as He uh bears himself in both men and women. And then I think that you're also um Yeah, you you're again, you're training how to honor the other gender. But then in single gender, that's a place where you can begin to again rule over your desires through the power of Christ at work in your life to put sin to death. So I think that's important. And then lastly, I would say serve, serve in this season that goes on. Uh a big portion of advancing the kingdom is serving, serve the church, as Caden was talking about, dying to self, I think is a huge, huge part of that because especially in a marriage relationship, it is a death to self to serve the other person. And so I would just yeah, give a strong encouragement to serve others in this season.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

Yeah, and I talked about that from a big picture idea. It wasn't super practical, my answer. Brandon was much more practical, and I I really I like what Brandon said when he said community and service, those are two things that I think are gonna really those are practical things that you could like implement right now in your life. I would just throw in scripture reading, prayer, spiritual disciplines, generosity goes along with service so much. So, you know, practically giving away time, energy, resources that God's allowed you to steward. Like, if you get in this mindset of being generous to the the community, to the church, maybe you'll be more generous to that person someday that that God blesses you with. And then scripture reading and prayer, I feel like we have this question of like practicality that comes up in a lot of these podcasts, and it's almost like um repeating these answers of read the Bible, pray to God, communicate to God, serve your church, get involved in a local body. And why do these things seem so repetitive? It's because God didn't really make it that complicated for us. I'm not saying it's always the easiest thing to do this in a in opposition to our flesh, but it's really not that complicated, right? It these things, if you practically implement these things in your life consistently, not only will it help you in this season of singleness and using it well, it will literally help you in every area of your life. So there's a reason why we say it over and over and over again, and you probably guys are probably tired of hearing it by now, but it's the truth.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

Yeah, the other night we were talking about how it is so simple but so difficult that what we really need to do is read our Bible and do what it says. And people will probably get sick of us saying that, but it's true, like you would just do so much better if you your first priority was to abide in Christ, read the Bible, and do what it says. And I think specifically like looking at the season of singleness and then like people are just like looking towards marriage. I think a lot of people have their priorities like get a job and work, buy a house or something, get married, have kids, take religion seriously, or like take my faith seriously. And our priorities are just way out of whack. Brandon, you've told me this. You're like, don't wait till you're married to start living your life. Do you remember when you told me that? I was like, I'm traveling because I'm not gonna wait until I'm married to do these things. And it's like, even traveling aside, don't wait until you're married to start doing things and start living your life and start serving and start giving because the habits that you create now are going to be the habits that you bring into marriage if you get married. Like, not even all of us are going to be married because it's not promised. Something that Megan on our team told us that she really has said to a lot of people is that she thinks of time, talent, and treasure. And so I'm sure she'll probably be on the podcast and talk about it way more in detail of her perspective. But uh just to touch on it quickly, time is creating habits that you want to continue to have in your marriage or just in your life in general. Talent, using your gifts to serve others and treasure, taking care of your money and stewarding your money well. And so those are just practical, well, it's like a memorable time, talent, treasure thing that she says about using your singleness well. And one thing before we move on to the next thing, I was talking to one of our high schoolers here at the church, and I don't remember what we were talking about, but this came up because they were asking me about me and my singleness and my perspective. And she said that she heard a pastor say, When you're in a season of waiting, do what waiters do and serve. And I was like, that's a bar. She's like 16 telling me like wisdom about it. It's so funny, but it's true. Like, as you're waiting, you don't have to overly focus on the season of life that you're in. It's just you're looking at the time that you have, and how am I going to steward this time? You are not even promised 10 more years of life. You're not even promised tomorrow. But if you take where your feet are at, that time that you have, if you are serving the Lord and doing things unto the Lord, God is literally going to figure everything else out for you. He's already figured everything else out for you. And so what is in your control is serving and giving of your life and not your seas, like your season of life that's not fully in our control.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Can I give one example on that? Because I think that some of what you're saying is so important that we need to not wait until we achieve that which we're looking for to start living our life. And and I think that the question really in our singleness is like, and our just question in life is like, what is most urgent to us today? And I think that that question is going to determine what you are seeking most and the decisions that you're making. So if what feels most urgent is, man, I just gotta get that boyfriend, get that girlfriend so that we can date and then we can marry, then like that will be your mission in life because that feels most urgent to you. But if what feels most urgent is, you know, recognizing that we have a short window of time in our lives that we have to uh partner with God to advance the kingdom of God here on earth before we either pass on to glory or Jesus returns, then I think that changes everything about our priority. I gave this example at our young adults gathering uh metro a while ago, but there's a guy who is now uh missionary overseas, and just remember talking to him about this decision of whether or not to enter the mission field and him struggling at the time with um whether he should go before he gets married or not, because you know, going to this country far, far away, it's like lower odds probably for him that he's gonna find his his spouse there uh versus here in Houston. And I I texted him a couple of months ago and just was like asking about that decision and what his thoughts about that were now. Uh and I'll just read a couple of uh lines that I think are really helpful. He said that the more time I spend amongst the lost, the less significant marriage seems to me. The day of judgment is coming, eternity is on the line. To me, the momentary pleasures of marriage cannot compare with the eternal reward of living as if eternity is at stake for every soul. There is nothing like the joy and the freedom that comes in surrendering everything to King Jesus, even the most precious things in life, even the hope of marriage. Jesus makes good on his promise in John 15, 11. These things I have spoken to you that my joy may be in you and your joy may be full. I just think it's a great example of somebody who has learned this perspective to uh treat things with urgency that deserve the most urgency in our lives.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

But before we move on to The next thing I wanted us to define the phrase dying to self. I think there are a lot of I said this in a past podcast, like there are so many churchy phrases that people will throw around. I just want us to talk about like what does it actually look like for us to die to self? I mean, not even just in singleness, but just in life.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

Yeah. I thought about this when I said it. It was like, how do people know what I'm talking about here? Self-sacrifice in the sense that you're not you're not the master of your own life. You're not the we people we talk about making Jesus the Lord of our lives. To to take myself out of the driver's seat and place King Jesus there. He's the one who is directing me. He is the one who is renewing my mind, renewing my heart, renewing my passions, renewing my desires, renewing the trajectory of my life, and then fully trusting in that. So there's an aspect of like, I am not the boss, or I'm not the Lord, or I'm not in control of myself. I'm submitting that. I'm living in submission to Christ in that way. So that's there's an aspect of that, even in more of like a different perspective on this. I think of it almost as like killing ego. And this is maybe more of a secular way of talking about it. People will pursue all kinds of things in this virtuous way of like killing ego, killing pride. And Christ can do that in us. Like if we submit our lives to him, we are not ego-driven. It's not about me, it's not about self-gain. It's more about, and this gets into like, you know, serving others, counting others more significant than yourselves. So, yeah, not being egotistical, not being self-consumed, not being all about yourself, but living in a way that I don't have the projection light shining on me. I'm a mirror that reflects the image of Christ to those around me. And and that and making that like the purpose or the goal of my life, I think all of that kind of encapsulates this idea of dying to self.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

That idea I think is key. The way that I think about it, or maybe the way that I want to talk about it right now, is dying to self is pretty much I I don't want to speak out of term, but it is most commonly referred to as a death to self and a life in Christ. So these concepts are really connected in the New Testament. That a dying to ourselves in turn means that we don't just end there, but that our life is now found in the person of Jesus Christ. That's Romans chapter six is a great example of it, that we have been baptized into Christ Jesus and baptized into his death. Therefore, just as Christ has been raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. So, what does it mean to die to self? It means to live for Christ. It means to resemble his life and the manner of his living in our world today. And so, what are the things that Jesus did? He emptied himself on behalf of others, he served those that were in need, he moved towards those who were broken, he forgot his own needs, he utilized his authority on behalf of blessing people. Uh ultimately, he sacrificed his very life for those that were in desperate need. And so to die to self is really to model and live the Christ or live the life that Christ has first lived for us.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

Yeah, that's good. Uh one of the most funny stories in the Bible to me. I I don't have the scripture reference on top of my head here. I think it's in, gosh, I think it's in Matthew, but it's it's James and John, the sons of thunder, come to Jesus, right? And they're like, hey, actually, they don't even come to Jesus. This is the funny part. They go to their mom and they're like, hey, mom, we want really to be exalted and uh receive this self-glory and sit on Jesus' right hand and his left hand in heaven. So my brother's first step to becoming spiritually mature and uh using your singleness well, don't run to your your mama to take care of your problems first and foremost. But there's a lesson there. Um, but the funny thing is, is their mom goes to Jesus on behalf of them and is like, hey, my sons want to sit on your right hand or left hand. And Jesus kind of gives this little uh monologue of what it means to be a servant, and how he says, even he, even the son of God, the creator of heaven and earth, did not come to be served, but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. So, in that same vein of like, well, is it C.S. Lewis that says humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less, I think all like that is the idea of dying to self right there. That's the idea of living for others and not exalting self. The Bible would actually say he who humbles himself will be exalted by God. So if you want to be like if you want what James and John want, you all at the end you want to be glorified, you want to be honored in heaven and and and sit with Christ and be in fellowship with him forever. Here on earth, your responsibility is to lower yourself, to become lowly, and then watch God be the one who lifts you up. You don't have to be the one that does that, God will do it on your behalf. That's that's dying to self.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

So just to like be helpful for people who are listening, I don't want people to think like, okay, using my singleness well is checking the box of reading my Bible and serving in the church. I'm doing it right. One, why do y'all think it's like what do you think is stopping people from using their singleness well? And two, how can you encourage them to protect them from not like becoming just like legalistic about I'm doing the checklist of things that I should be doing in my singleness, therefore I'm using it well?

SPEAKER_01 27:59

It looks different for everybody. That's the reality is like don't do a uh cookie cutter copy and paste from somebody else's life and put it on your life because you're living a unique life, and it's like there are principles that are scripturally based that will apply to your walk in your singleness. Like, yes, it's a it's a box to check, but it's deeper than a box to check. What's the heart behind reading scripture? What's the heart behind prayer? What's the heart behind service? It's not to check a box, it's to love other people and to love God, which is the first and greatest commandment. Is your Bible time sprinting through five verses, or is it praying and saying, God, speak to my heart? Help me to know you, help me to love you, help me to love the people that you've put in my life. So, are you loving other people? Are you loving God more? It's not a legalistic thing. Like God knows what is good for us, He's our creator, and therefore He gives us principles to live by. The other thing I would say real quickly is fear, anxiety, doubt, I think we get so stuck in what is fear, what is anxiety? It's the opposite of trusting and having faith in God's goodness and his provision over your life. So if I can sit in my singleness and say, even though this isn't where I might ideally place myself right now, I trust that God has a plan here, I trust that he's still good here, and I trust that he has a future for me. If you can embrace that mindset, you're you're gonna do well in your singleness, I think, and utilize this time in a in a good way. If you, and I'm not listen, I'm single as well, like I wrestle with these things too. So I'm not I'm not saying that we're all immune to these things, but I'm just saying as much as you can, diagnose the fear. What makes me fearful about my future? What makes me that little bit of doubt that seeps into the back of my mind? Maybe I'm going to church, maybe I'm reading my Bible, maybe I know in my heart of heart that God's good, but the enemy gets there and he slips in that little lie where, oh, it's another year, oh, it's Christmas time, and grandma's gonna be asking about where's your boyfriend? Oh, it's like that little that little lie, right? That the enemy slips in there. Like, where's that coming from? And then sit with that, take that thing to God, and say, God, where's this coming from? And show me the the truth that's opposite of this lie, right? God speak truth into my life and give me peace where there's confusion or chaos or fear or doubt, and that anxiety that that can really hinder us from doing the things that we're talking about to utilize your life of singleness in a good way. So I do think that there's times where we should periodically say, Where am I really at? Being honest with myself, how do I really feel about this? And if I don't feel good about it, that's okay. It's okay to to have these struggles, but we need to address them head on. We can't just shove them under the rug and pretend they're not there. Like we actually need to process through those things and deal with those things with the Lord. So we need to take those things to God.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Yeah, yeah, I don't have a whole lot to add to that. I think there's a lot of really good things there. I would say simply why do we not do this or what's keeping us is that again, maybe it's under this umbrella of urgency, really at the heart of it is that we just want other things more, and that's just the state of sin in our lives. I mean, sin is a result of wanting other things more than we want more of God, and so it's not unique to the single adult. It's something that you know I might deal with. I want material comfort more than I want God, or I want um, you know, this change in circumstance more than I want God. All of us are susceptible to it, but I think that talking within the particular context of singleness, what hinders us from really utilizing this season well, whether that be in service, whether that be in community, whether it be in submission of our desires to God, is we just want other stuff more than we want him and to love God more. A lot of what Caden's saying, like, what do you do? You you look at God, you know him more. I think that that's why the apostle Paul can say that everything else is rubbish in comparison to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord, and being found in him, is because he is he is seen and knows the value that comes with knowing more of God. So I I think that that's uh a hindrance. And then how do we do it and not be legalistic? I would just maybe there's some diagnostic questions here, uh, as opposed to the practical, maybe getting to the heart of are you growing in your trust of God and are you growing in joy in the life he's given you? I I mean, trust, we can oftentimes in waiting periods, we grow in distrust. Like the longer we're in a period of waiting, the more it is that we tend to lean towards distrust of God. But if you were to ask yourself honestly, am I growing in trust of God? Do I understand and believe what I know to be true of Him over my circumstances right now? Um and so is there a growth in that? And then is there a growth in joy to get back to the verse that was mentioned earlier by uh my friend uh you know, John 15, 11? I tell you the these things, these things, meaning abide in me, so that you might have joy uh and it might be full, or or that my joy might be full in you, is what he says. And so are we growing in a joy of the Lord in this season, or are we allowing our circumstances to sour those things?

SPEAKER_02 34:04

Just to wrap us up, because we walk with a lot of people in their season of singleness, I just wanted to have y'all explain what qualities or fruit you see in people who are using their singleness well or using the season of singleness well.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

For me, I think that a lot of it gets to um how is the focus of their life practically played out, right? We're talking about using singleness well and utilizing singleness as well as our whole lives well is a big part of advancing the kingdom of God. Uh again, I I think maybe I mentioned Matthew 6, seeking first the kingdom, allowing things to be added. What does that look like? I think that you know, whenever I I meet people that uh are concerned of the things of God, uh they're uh not concerned as an anxious, but concerned as an focused when uh they're sharing about what God is doing in their life, the ways that He's refining them, uh an eagerness to invest in those around them. Um I think that a focus away from self and on God and others is just a practical way that I see people uh using their singleness and and to say something that we said again, I know you know, don't want to be legalistic, but it really does. It fires me up to see people that serve in their singleness, to leverage their lives for God's purposes, and to say, okay, I'm going to give my time, my resources, my focus, uh, for the purpose of what God wants to do through my life and therefore in my life right now.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

Yeah, and I've I've put a lot into like what motivates people, what inspires people to do different things, and I think where is the ultimate hope of your life? This idea of hope. Like, what are you looking at to bring this um satisfaction or contentment or ultimate purpose? Um, what are you looking at for that? And I think this idea of hope, when I look at guys or girls or just anybody in our church who is maybe living a life where they're they're doing this well in this in a season of singleness, I think of them that have this far greater hope in something than marriage itself, because at the end of the day, like I said, I I am pro-marriage. Like I want to get married myself. I I think marriage is a blessing, I think it's so good, but you cannot put all of your hope in that because it will never satisfy you at the deepest level of your soul. It just won't. And Isaiah 56, this is the Lord speaking to eunuchs who eunuchs were people that were going to be single for the rest of their life. They've dedicated their life to a life of singleness for for many different reasons, but eunuchs are single, and he says this thus says the Lord to the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me, and hold fast to my covenant, I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters, I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off. I think I've referenced the scripture before in this podcast, and I don't want to be repetitive, but I love this verse, and it's come to mind so much in my own walk of singleness of if I choose to hold fast to the covenantal love that Christ has promised me and hold fast to him and live for him, there's a monument and a name. I don't even know what name can be better than Son of God, but God here in his word, he's saying, There's a name better, and I will give you an everlasting name that won't be cut off. And there's that that that's gotta be your hope. That's gotta be the thing that you're looking at in this season of singleness. You can't stare at marriage and say, That's the goal of my life, or you just will never be satisfied. I think that you need to really ask yourself, where's my greatest hope? And remind yourself that every day, and that will help you do all of the practical things that we've already talked about service, walking in humility, giving yourself away in generosity, dying to self, all these little practical things that we've talked about in this podcast. I think a lot of that will be rooted in what is your ultimate hope in in life. And if you get that right, a lot of things will fall into place.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

Yeah. I also think like this is a way that the enemy really does twist a gift that God has given us because as singles, like we can have undivided attention on serving God and serving others. And if the enemy like puts this little carrot in front of us, like, oh, but you want to be married, look at this, compare yourself to other people, or you want this in your life. This should matter to you more than God. Like, just think about how the enemy might be using this against you to stop you from serving God and serving others.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

Yeah, don't be distracted. Yeah. Distractions, there's so many distractions that we can get caught up in.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

Yeah, don't be distracted. Uh, use it well because it's a gift and you don't want to look back and and think that you did not use the gift and steward it well for the Lord. So thanks y'all for chatting on the podcast today about encouraging other people to use their season of life of singleness. Well, uh, we'll talk to you guys in the next one. Thanks for tuning in. We'll talk to you guys later. Bye. Bye.