The Mental Load of “Are We Getting Another Dog?”

Not quite two months after losing Winston, we are getting the question everyone seems to ask way too soon: are we getting another dog?

In this episode, we do a lightning round on the real question behind the dog question. Is this about Ruth being lonely? About us missing Winston? About feeling guilty because there are dogs that need homes? Or is it about whether our family actually has the time, bandwidth, and mental capacity to bring another dog into the mix right now?

We talk about what it means to grieve a pet while also managing the logistics of work, kids, training, schedules, and one very sad surviving dog. We are not making a decision in this episode. But we are unpacking why decisions like this are never as simple as they sound from the outside.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

All right. Welcome back to the mental load chronicles. You have no idea what we're talking about. Hi then.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

I don't. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

I didn't normally we talk about it ahead of time. And today we're going to do that.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

No, this is this is good. I always like being grossly underprepared for things. So that's just this plays into my ADHD. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Okay. So it occurred to me we have not made an episode about the passing of our dear Winston. We are not doing that today because I cannot get through that episode yet without crying. So we're gonna we'll come back to that. We will come back to that. But we have been getting the question, are we getting another dog?

SPEAKER_02 0:44

And because for the first time in a very, very, very long time, it's kind of funny because like when I was telling people at work that Winston had passed, and you know, I said, you know, he's what the fourth dog we've had that has died, right?

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Well, we had Felix, then Morgan, Morgan, Lady, then Lady, then Winston. So yes, he's our fourth dog that has passed.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Like, what the hell are you doing to these dogs?

SPEAKER_00 1:12

You know, because and then did you chase it with Lady was like 17 when she passed away?

SPEAKER_02 1:19

We typically have two dogs at a time for a time we had three dogs.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Three, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

And so then they're like, oh, okay, that makes that makes more sense.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

For a long time we had three. I mean, just to be clear, because we had Felix, Morgan, and Lady for a very long time.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

Which is funny getting those looks because they're like, Yeah, what I'm sorry, what?

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Yeah, so here we are, and we're back down to one dog.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Back down to one dog. So the question is, are we getting We started with one dog? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

And and I think people should know we we became a two-dog household because we got the dog a dog.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Right. So, so Felix, our first dog. We were uh I was in the army, we were in Germany at the time. Yep, and we were living in an apartment. Yep, and unbeknownst to me when I would leave for work, because you were still back in the States at the time. Yep. Um, he would try I'd lock him in one of the back bedrooms when I'd leave for work, and he would try to tunnel out of that back bedroom.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

Yes, he yes, he would.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

The floor was so chewed up by that door.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

I'm shocked they didn't charge us anything.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

And you know what's funny is now knowing what hardwood flooring replaces costs. Anyway, yeah, so we got Morgan because we figured we tried dog training, we tried everything to get him to stop everything having separation anxiety. Yep. And the only thing that worked was having a second dog. So we got Morgan. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Um, and then you moved back to the States with our in Germany and Germany Guten.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

And we didn't pick the name Morgan, nor did we pick the name Felix.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

No, but she came with the name Morgan and we kept it because it was such a German name. Morgan is morning.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Morgan.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

Yep. And so Guten Morgan is good morning. Anyway, you called her Guten.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

And then you and our youngest moved back to the States about six months before I followed. And you didn't feel like living in a house without a dog. No, I did not.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

I tried. I gave it a good week and a half to two weeks before I started looking on Petfinder.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

You got Lady who who's a fantastic dog. That was a great dog. Great dog. It was Felix. We had a uh Felix passed. So we had three Felix, Morgan, and Lady, and then Felix passed, and then Morgan passed shortly thereafter, because they were both, you know, well over 10 at that point. Um and so then we got Winston to hang out with Lady. Yep. And then we got Roof.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

And she became a puppy again. I mean, that was the magic of uh Morgan and Lady were a bad mix. And Morgan, well, let's get along with it. Morgan didn't like Lady.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Well, Morgan didn't like Morgan didn't like anybody.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

No, because she and Felix would cuddle. She was like a cat. I know, but she and Felix would cuddle, and Felix was hers, and she was threatened by Lady. Anyway. But anyway, it was a very sweet thing to watch Lady, who was a very senior dog at that point. Yep. When Winston came into her life, I mean, she sprung back to life. She became a puppy again and would play in the yard, and it was just good. And and then uh when we got to Denver, we got Ruth. And I think part of it was we could kind of see the writing on the wall with Lady. In fact, at that point, we had seen the writing on the wall with Lady many times. She had those seizures when she was like 12.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

She was the energizer bonus.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

But then those went away. And then and so she just kept going. And yet we can see she was slowing down. We got the puppy, Ruth.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

And now Ruth is what now she's four. Yep. And she's an only dog. She's a young dog. You took her for a two-hour hike today and she hasn't slowed down. Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

She got home and wanted to run in the backyard. I know. But anyway, yeah. So is this the first time we've had one dog in 20 years?

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Yes. Well, ish, right? Yeah. Ish. Yeah. So because I look yeah, I lived with just lady for probably six months. But yeah, but that doesn't, I mean, only and then after after Morgan passed, we thought we had Lady as an only dog for a long time, right? When we were for like five weeks. And then we looked up our photo history and said, oh, it was about five weeks.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Yeah, about five weeks, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

So, you know, here we are. We're about five weeks out, not quite four weeks out from his passing. Everyone keeps asking if we're getting another dog. So I thought we would do kind of a fun experiment. Okay. So I worked with Chat GPT to construct this. So don't come at me if you hate all this.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

It's not me, it's ChatGPT. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Oh, yeah. That you just got you just have a million dollar shirt idea right there. It's not me, it's ChatGPT.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

Yeah, that's true. All right. So, you know, I think to how many questions we've gotten over the years that feel like this. The the when are you gonna have another baby? And, you know, for us is still a thing. And we can get into that in another episode. But I thought we'd have to do that. I know, but let's start with something a little lower stakes, and we'll talk about a dog before we get into the fact that as an infertility couple, we still have two frozen embryos. We gotta make a decision about those. All right, but neither here nor there for today. So we're gonna do a little lightning round. Okay. You can change your answer later.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

Is there any wicked, wicked wango cards?

SPEAKER_00 6:20

No.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

None today. Let's go. And we're not trying to solve this today.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Okay. We're not gonna make a decision at the end of the episode. Are we getting another dog? Okay. Do you want another dog right now?

SPEAKER_02 6:31

No.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Okay. Are you answering based on emotion or logic? Logic. All right, explain more.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

Um we have we we I say this all the time. We both have very high stress jobs that have very crazy schedules. Yep. We have a five-year-old who's just like me, a six-year-old, so you don't even know. Yep. Um, okay. Um, then our oldest kids graduating high school. Yeah. So there's one less person, and she takes care of a lot of the dog stuff right now. Yeah, she she did. Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

So having an uh bringing a puppy into this house right now, is not that this is just not a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Okay. And are you only open to a puppy versus like a more mature?

SPEAKER_02 7:17

I I I would have a hard time thinking that we could find a mature dog that would get along with Ruth. Now I'm open to that if they get along, but I I that that would be my concern.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Yeah, yeah. Well, and um, we've been looking into doggy boot camp for her, where we would kind of send her.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

She's a great dog. She's a great dog. But but she does like, you know, she pulls on leashes, she likes to lunge at other dogs. Yep. Like there's there's, you know, there's other issues. Yep. Um, and she was when Winston was alive, we had some food aggression issues between the two of them. Yep, um, where they would go, where she would go after him at at dinner time.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Yeah, that only happened like three or four times, but when it did, it was it was messy. Yeah, it was awful.

SPEAKER_02 7:56

So all that's to say, like, if we can find a dog she gets along with, I'm open to an older dog, but then that runs into appointments and all that other stuff, which again, we we don't I haven't been to the dentist in like a year because I don't have time to to take off to go to the dentist because we took so much time off for the kids and dogs, yeah, that like I, you know, I just don't have time to take care of myself because the time I take off is to take care of them. Right. So like I would like to go to the dentist. So when you say logically, yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

Yeah, yeah. That's why you're that's why that's why I'm going that way. So my answer is yes, but I am answering based on emotion because I watch her and I think she's lonely. And and she is, and she's sad, and she's not eating as well. And so, yeah. So I I answer yes because of the emotion. All the logic things you just explained are absolutely spot on. All right. Uh, what do you miss most about having a second dog? Nothing. I mean I mean you miss things about him.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

I I I miss I miss Winston. I don't miss having two dogs.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

Yeah, yeah. I think the same thing where it's always more complex when we have two dogs. I can't really quite wrap my head around no dogs. So like I can't get to that stage where I would think if something, God forbid, happened to her in the near term, that I would be okay being a no-dog household.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

But yeah, it is it's way more complex. I mean, things have just been a lot simpler.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Well, also you have to remember, I mean, what everything we were doing for poor Winston at the end, like anything seemed simpler than that.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

That's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

So like he was a very low maintenance dog. Even after his amputation, he was a fairly low maintenance dog until the last like month. And then it was like, oh my God, he was uh, you know.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

It was downhill. Yeah, it was downhill. And it was really about two weeks, less than two weeks. Yeah. Um, so I'm gonna skip the what do you not miss? Because I think we covered that.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Who would carry more of the responsibility this time if we got a second dog?

SPEAKER_02 9:54

I that's it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

You know what I mean? Because like I again, I I know I don't have the mental capacity to take on a large part of bringing in a new dog.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It it made me think about really the only way I could see us doing it would be if we adopted that dog and and that dog went with Ruth to the boot camp that we're looking at, and they went at the exact same time.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

Yeah, I mean, or I mean, did the other thing too is um uh if one of us was working five days a week from home, then it's not a big deal. Right. But with being out of the house, yeah, uh yeah, all that stuff.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Well, and that's when we adopted Ruth was when I was working five days a week from home because it was COVID. You were working from home because you were working remotely for another organization, and the kids were home a ton. And so because they weren't in as many activities as they're in now, and so we were all around and we could spend a ton of time with her and we could train her and we could make sure all the dogs were getting along because there were three of them. So it was a very different time to bring in a little six-pound puppy into the world. Are we remembering the hard parts accurately or romantically? I don't think we're romantic.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

I know I I I a hundred percent would not say that that is there is nothing romantic about that.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

I think I think at this point I probably do it more on the kid side, where I'm like, oh, the cute little fingers and toes.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Oh, yeah, that. Yeah, the baby or the pity, sure.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

I think that I would romanticize all of the hard parts of having a new kid as opposed to a dog, but we're also very fresh off of the whole dog thing and what what it can look like when it gets hard.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

Well, and the other thing that I I I wonder about is like, you know, we mentioned, you know, uh Felix and Morgan were about the same age because we got Morgan, she was a little bit older. We don't know exactly how old she was, but she was a little bit older.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

Oh, they lied to us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

But that's okay. Uh Lady was like a mother to Winston.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

Right. And Winston was like, and and Lady both were like, you know, surrogate parents to Ruth. Right. Because they were both Winston and Lady were both really good, good-natured dogs. Ruth is a little bit more high-strung.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Anyway, so like that would be my concern. Now, maybe she surprises me because she's not like an aggressive dog. She's not, but but she has her moments.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Yeah, yeah. Well, and they warned us about that when we adopted her because we got her from a litter where the whole litter had food aggression. And I don't know that we treated it as seriously as we should have in hindsight.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Just because she did get along so well with Winston. Yeah. And she didn't seem to bother Lady.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

And it really didn't, it it wasn't until Lady started to show her old age that Ruth became aggressive toward her.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Well, Ruth got bigger too, because when we got Ruth, she was literally what, three pounds, four pounds? Yeah, she was super small.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Yeah, tiny.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

So Winston was like 85 pounds and Lady was like 40.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

That was the best. Watching him with her when we first brought them, when we first brought her home, we were like, okay, how are we introducing this six-pound puppy to this 80-pound dog? Pitbull mix. Yeah, monster.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

And the sweetest dog ever, but he was a monster inside.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Well, he busted every single stereotype. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

Yep. 100%.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

And he was just the gentlest watching him play tug of war with her when she was six pounds was the sweetest little thing. Because he would barely tug on the rope. Well, the the kid pull with all of her might.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

The funny thing was, like, she started like laying on him and like sleeping on his head. And then, but like that never changed. So when she's probably like 40 pounds now, and like she was still like laying on his head.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

And he just laid there. He didn't care.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

He didn't care.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

Yeah. He didn't care.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

But it was like when he didn't care that you know our son would pull on his ears or and we would never let him tug hard or do anything hard. But he just didn't care.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

All right.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Yeah. So to me, the only the only reason the for me, the only argument that moves me at all for getting a second dog is like I feel bad that you know Ruth's four years old, she's never been alone, and now she spends every day by herself.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

Like like that, like that, that bums me out.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

So I mean I work from home a couple days a week.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

Yeah, but like having having a second dog just so she has some company is the it for me is the only real argument that holds any kind of weight. So it's not about replacing Winston. It would be about, you know, making sure that she doesn't feel overly lonely.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

Yeah, giving her a companion. Yeah, for sure. Uh is there anything that would feel exciting about getting another dog? Uh I mean, yeah, getting getting new dogs is great. I love dogs. I for me it's about knowing how many dogs are out there that need homes and feeling like we can provide a good home and feeling like it's a it feels like a selfish move not to. And at the same time, there's so much logic behind the why not. So who do you think is currently holding this decision in their head more? Me or you?

SPEAKER_02 14:59

You 100% because it hasn't crossed my mind.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Yeah, interesting.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

And the reason I say that is when he passed, that was kind of what we said was well, let's get through our daughter's graduation party and then we'll talk. Yep. So like to me, I said great. And then my brain turned that off and I made an internal note until like middle of June. Let's talk about this again.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Yeah, yeah. And I think I probably would have done the same if I didn't work from home.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

And I think if I went to the office five days a week, because over the weekends, she seems pretty okay. Oh, she's not. She's got the kids to play with, there's a lot of activity, everything's good. It's like the evenings. She comes to life again. I watch her during the day. I watch her cuddle with his collar. I watch her sort of like bring a stuffed animal to the bed and try to kind of lay on it like she used to lay on him. And so I sort of bear witness during my work from home days to just how sad she actually is. And knowing I'll be talking to her and she'll kind of her ears will go down, her tail goes down, and I'll say something like, Do you miss Winston?

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

And she just sort of puts her head down, turns around and goes lays in the bed. You know, she knows his name. And and so I just I feel like I have more exposure to her sadness and loneliness. Um, and so that pushes that decision or that thought into my head. Are we putting a timeline on this or like does it not actually exist in a time?

SPEAKER_02 16:21

Here's the thing. I I think we can we we can put a timeline on it, but practically I don't think a timeline exists. I mean, other than it's not even possible until after our daughter's graduation party. Once that happens, I I just don't think that I think there will be a day where you will go on Pet Finder and find a cute dog, and then you'll probably go one day when you're home, uh you know, you'll take a day off, you're telling me you're working from home, you'll take roof to meet said dog, and then you'll come to me and be like, You're never gonna guess.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

I first of all, I have never done that. I've always been very open with you. Even when I was a lady and I called you and said, Hey, so Yeah, and and a house by myself.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

Um and that's the thing. Like, I um so what I guess what I'm saying is you never know when that decision is gonna come because I don't think it would be unless we have some sort of life circumstance where we're like, we cannot have another dog, yeah. Would I rule out us getting a second dog?

SPEAKER_00 17:18

Yeah, and I sort of feel the same way. And I and I do feel like an answer could be getting another dog and sending them both to training at the same time. It's an expensive decision. But at the same time, you think about them bonding, training side by side, knowing the exact same commands, knowing all of those things, it feels like wow, that might be a sound investment. But at the same time, if she goes and gets trained, then she can go to daycare. And so is it better to sign her up for daycare a couple days a week? Yeah, let her go play with an entire pack make some friends in a local daycare.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

There you go.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

And then we don't have the possibility of having two dogs. Problem solved. You just solved that problem. Well, I don't know if that's what that's my vote. I think it's an option. I don't think it's problem solved. I I I get it. I get it. That feels like a really easy answer, but it doesn't really solve for my Belgian malinmois, then then then. Have you not watched videos about this?

SPEAKER_02 18:22

It's it's the me of dogs. That's why I want one.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Okay, we all right. I'm gonna ask this in the kindest way possible. So if he ever listens to this episode down the line, he knows that I love him deeply. We have a son that is the you of humans. Yeah, yeah. You also want to introduce to the house the you of dogs.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

Listen, it they will wear each other out.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

I don't think that's what happens.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

I think that's what happens.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

I think we should find someone with that dog who loves them and is not trying to get rid of them to let us borrow that dog for like a week. No, um, what about the kids? That's sort of my last question.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

Oh, yeah. We'll keep the kids. We wouldn't need to.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

No, I oh my goodness. I mean getting a second dog. The kids have been asking. They want to know when we're going and picking out another dog.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

Listen, we we did this when we got roof where we said, yes, we can get a third dog, but you guys are taking care of it, and then it was peace out. They got bored of that new dog in a week, and then that was the end of it.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

It wasn't a week. I think um our oldest, her attention span lasted a lot longer. And I think we're saying you spend some time with her.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

What I'm saying is again, it's I I have no problem telling the kids that they didn't take they didn't do it last time. They're not gonna do it this time. Yeah. And we're down uh uh an oldest that would be the one doing the heavy lifting. So we don't have the capacity to be breaking a new dog in and then taking care of two, and then all the stuff that goes along with adding a second dog.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

So we will we will uh entertain the idea of a second dog when that becomes a feasible thing to entertain.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

Yeah. I think I'm gonna listen to this episode uh when I feel like roaming on Petfinder.

SPEAKER_02 20:03

Yeah, that's a great idea.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

To help remind me as to why this is a bad idea. And I also think we should consider a daycare option for Ruth.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

I oh I 100%. I think that's a great um I that's something that had not occurred to me at all. So as soon as you said that, it's like, yes, that's the best of both worlds. Because those daycares, you know, that that's not it's not expensive.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

It's not expensive. So if you signed her up, like you said, for two days a week, you're home for you know two days a week, then she's only home one day, and that just becomes like a rest day.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

And then then we're good.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

All right. Last question. I know I said last question, but I actually have one more.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

Fostering.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

God no.

unknown 20:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

God no. Nope. No, thank you. No, because it's it's the worst of all options, in my opinion. Because like you get this dog that you like, and then that dog's gone. And it's so so then it's like for for poor Ruth, it's like losing a best friend over and over and over and over and over again. Like, or they don't get along, right? And then it's then we're dealing with that.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

No.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

I almost would be inclined to say we'll go the daycare route with her. And in 10 years or whatever it is, when she goes, and our lives are very different at that point.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Yeah, if we want to foster at that point where we have no dogs.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Well, my thought was that's the point where we go and we adopt a bonded pair. The the two in the shelter who would become best friends that they don't want to, you know, they don't want to separate, yeah, that are incredibly hard to adopt because nobody wants to go to a shelter and adopt two dogs at once. Yeah. We could be those people, and that could be our goal.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

And and the other thing too is uh I would be open to if we don't get a dog when she passes, if we want to foster dogs by our, you know, one dog.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Oh, I see.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

Like at that time, sure. Because you know, if you foster a dog at a time. Yeah, that like I got no problem with that because then we get the or a litter of eight puppies. If you're taking care of them, knock yourself out.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

No, I don't think I could. Ever do that. I don't know. Maybe, maybe when I'm like 65 and retired, but uh I don't I don't know how people do that and work a full-time job.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

You they can't.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

If you are out there fostering a bunch of puppies and you work a full-time job, I commend you. All right. Anything you'd add?

SPEAKER_02 22:16

I think it's a really good fit for you know we talk about mental load because these are the kind of the quiet things that we carry with us, right? That you don't really think about it being like, oh yeah, you know, this is something that's this big stressful decision, but it's you know, it's kind of gnawed in the back of your head, you know? It is, it is. I'm sure we'll have two dogs, you know, a year from it. But for right now, no.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

Yeah. Well, and we could always too make it really clear with the kids here are the checkpoints we need you to hit.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

Because when they start asking, because I think they're still missing him and they listen to be quiet about it.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Yeah, we we of course. He he was a huge part of our family for a long time.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

Oh, yeah. No, I I we're not talking about him because I won't get through it.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

So fair.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

All right. Well, thanks for letting me hijack the conversation.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

Oh, this is this is a great conversation. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

So next time we'll uh do it with a higher stakes subject matter. Uh we do have to make a decision on more kids. So that's coming. Spoiler alert. All right. Well, we'll see you next time.