The 3 Pillars Every Christian Woman Needs Before Marriage

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In today’s episode, we’re talking about the three pillars every single Christian woman needs to build her life—and her marriage prep—on: prayer, fasting, and the Word of God. These aren’t just spiritual disciplines for when life gets hard; they are essential foundations that help shape your identity, sharpen your discernment, and strengthen your spirit as you prepare for the covenant of marriage.

Whether you're in a waiting season, walking through healing, or actively preparing for your future husband, these pillars will anchor you in God—not your feelings, timelines, or cultural pressure. I’ll walk you through what each pillar looks like in practice, how they keep you spiritually aligned, and why you can’t afford to skip them if you want a marriage that lasts.

⚠️ Disclaimer: This episode contains a brief mention of violence and the passing of a Christian pastor due to persecution. While it is shared respectfully in the context of faith and encouragement, some listeners may find this content distressing. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hey, welcome to the Single to Sacred Union Biblical Prep for a Godly Marriage podcast, the place with single Christian women who are serious about preparing for marriage the Kingdom Way. I'm your host, Georgina Wallace, and every week we'll have honest conversations about identity, feeling, purpose, and the practical steps you can take to become the woman God has called you to be before you say I do. Whether you're waiting, dating, or just starting to hope again, you're in the right place. Let's grow together on purpose. So this morning I'm just thinking about, in my mind, what it what it really means to get the success that we're looking for in life. And I think that because we live in the world, a lot of us are influenced by the world's thinking, the world's mindsets, and the world's formulas. And we think a lot of the time that in order for us to succeed, there's a real, for lack of better words, formula or approach that we have to take to be able to succeed in certain areas of life or to be able to see the results that we're looking for, whether it be academically, whether it be in ministry, whether it be in business, in any area of life. And I find it interesting because the world has got all of these different formulas for looking after your health and for what you should eat and how you should eat. The world has got formulas for you know how to stay um healthy mentally. There's so much out there now about mental health and meditation and holistic care and all of these different things are out there, and I'm not saying that any one of them in particular is wrong. There are some that, you know, as the church, we shouldn't really adopt and take on. However, the vast majority of these are ideologies and mindsets and and you know, based on research, and we've based this on 25 years of research and all of these different things that they come out with and say these things have worked, they're proven, we've done studies on it. This paper says this, this scientific paper says that, research suggests this. There's all these different things that are said by the world. But unfortunately, I think as a church, sometimes we take them on board thinking that those are the things that are really going to help us. But they won't help us if our foundation is not in place. I'm not saying that you shouldn't ever use any form of herbal remedies to make yourself healthy. I'm not suggesting that in any way. What I'm suggesting is that, and what I'm saying is that a lot of the time the foundations that we have in our life, in terms of our faith in Christ and in his word, is not established. For many people that call themselves Christians, and I've seen it over the years, we try everything else except for what God has given to us. And if you want to know what the three pillars are, you know, we talk about, you know, for those of us that are into social media and things like that, or if you're a content creator, you know, we talk about, you know, pillars or content pillars, things that we just go to time and time again and we rotate and we use them, right? The pillars that we have in Christ and in our Christian faith are three basic things: prayer, fasting, and the word of God. Those three prayer, fasting, and the word. And many of us don't have that in place in our life. And then we wonder why some things don't work the way we want them to work or why we struggle in some areas of life. We we have issues and we have problems and we seek and we look out for every other remedy to help us. Like I said, I'm not suggesting that other remedies that people have suggested based upon research and trials and things like that. Hey, if they've proven it to work, then they've proven it to work. But the point I'm trying to make is that we shouldn't be taking on all these other options when we haven't done the basics. The basics is key. Prayer is powerful. The word of God is powerful. Fasting is powerful. Now, I appreciate that not everybody will be able to fast, and there are numerous reasons why some people can't fast, you know, from food and things like that. I'm not, it's I'm not suggesting by any stretch of the imagination that everybody should be fasting like crazy. But my point is at some point in your walk with the Lord, fasting should be evident, it should be made evident in your life. Fasting is a spiritual discipline that the word of God teaches. At times, God in his word commanded that fasting should take place, and you can find that in various scriptures of the word of God. Why? Because of the benefits that fasting has. Now, I'm not here to do a teaching on fasting, that's not what I'm here to do. You know, if you want me to, you know, drop me an email, drop me a comment, and tell me the type of things you want me you'd like me to discuss. But I'm not here to talk about fasting, I'm here to speak about the benefits of fasting and why it's important. When we have the foundations of our faith in place and we are able to say, I have a consistent prayer life, my word life is consistent and my fasting life is consistent, we are more likely to see the very results that we're seeking. It doesn't mean that developing good routines, you know, there's a system out there that says, you know, do something for 21 days and you can break a habit and things like that. I'm not trying to suggest that those things are not, that those things don't work. I'm really not saying that. But in addition to all of these other things that we listen to and we take on board, all of these different diets and all this other stuff that we do, prayer, fasting, and the word of God is able to help us. The reason why I say that, and the reason why for me it's very important for me to mention this, is because a lot of these things are westernized ideologies. A lot of these mindsets that we have are from the West. When you go to places where they are very poor, there's not much resources available in terms of food and clean drinking water. When you look in areas of the world where the church is heavily persecuted, where Christians are killed on a daily basis for their faith, coming to them with a westernized mindset of, okay, do this for five days and drink this and take this in your diet, that's not gonna help them. Those believers over there are not interested in any of that. What they want to know is what scripture do I need, what Bible verse am I going to be meditating on today to help me to survive the day? Because by the end of today, I may not be alive. Some people are having their children killed, some children are seeing their parents killed for the set for the name of Christ. There was a man of God who came to minister our church a number of years back, and he spoke about some of the pastors that he was raising in India. Incredible man, absolutely phenomenal. And he raises up pastors and releases them, he trains them, he releases them, and the church takes care of them and their wives and their children as they do the work of the ministry. And we're talking about areas of India that are very poor. You know, you don't have brick and mortar houses and air conditioning and things like that. We're talking about very basic living conditions. And one of the things that they ask for when they're doing their um donations and when people want to give to the ministry is they typically buy Bibles and bicycles because bicycles is what will help these pastors travel through their native land to be able to share the gospel with others, it's their means of transportation. That's how they're not looking for cars, bicycles. Okay. And this story went that this uh pastor, this young pastor, he had a wife and he had um, I believe he had one or two young children, and he went out to evangelize, and there was a particular gang that lived out in the bush somewhere in this part of India, and he went to evangelize to them and went to speak to them about Jesus. And the head of this gang wasn't happy because members of the gang were being converted to Christianity and they were receiving Christ, and it was slowly beginning to destroy the very organization that this group of people had put together for drug dealing and for crime. So their headquarters was out in the middle of nowhere, and he was threatened. This pastor was threatened by the head of the gang and was told, if you don't stop preaching, we're gonna kill you. And the pastor said, Well, no. And explained to them the importance of the gospel and how the gospel will change this person's life and Jesus Christ can save him, and the love of God is able to make this man new. And the man was so upset that he shot and killed the pastor. The pastor died. And the church found out the pastor died and went to the wife and said to the wife, Look, come on, pack everything up, we're gonna move you and take you and the children away somewhere safer because it's not safe for you to live here. And the wife, which I thought was so incredible, it was so sad to hear when the pastor shared the story with us that this pastor was killed for the name of Jesus. But what got me that was so deep is when the pastor then went on to say that as they were wanting to move the wife and the children away from that area, the wife refused. And she said, No. She said, I'm not going anywhere. Why would I move? My husband died for Jesus. He died doing what he was supposed to do. I'm not gonna get up and move. I'm staying here and I'm going to continue the work that my husband was doing. She was adamant and the church couldn't move her. Now, what has happened to this family since this story was told to us a number of years ago, I don't know. The Lord knows her story and the story of her children. I don't know what's happened. But one thing I do know is that when I heard that story, I was deeply moved. Not just to hear that somebody died for Christ and was a martyr for the kingdom of God, but I was also moved because of the fact that the wife said, no, I'm gonna continue to stand. Now, if you go over to people like that and try to give them our westernized ideologies of you need to do this amount of work and meditation and you can eat this in your diet and it will change this and it will do that. It's not relevant to the church in that part of the world. So, what am I going back to? What are your foundations made of? Prayer, fasting, and the word of God is what we really need as the church. But in the West, we've almost downplayed its importance. When there are other believers across other parts of the world that rely heavily on prayer, fasting, and the word of God in order for them to see results, in order for them to have their provision, in order for them to pay their bills, in order for them to live and to not die, in order for them to receive healing from sicknesses and from disease. They don't have access to what we have access to when it comes to medical care, hospital care, doctors. I know that, you know, our healthcare systems are not always the best. I totally get that. You know, we can have a lot of problems over here. But it's something that is really, really important that a lot of the times we actually genuinely do take for granted. So my encouragement for you today is just even when it's difficult, even when it seems hard, even when you're not really sure, Lord, am I can I really do this? And you're struggling, prayer, fasting, the word of God, will always be your foundation, will always be the very key things that will cause you to arise and to stand because that's what God gave us in his word. I'm not saying that the level of knowledge that we have, you know, in certain parts of the of the world are not helpful. I'm not saying that. I'm not suggesting that. But what I am saying is that that should not be our foundation. Our foundation should always be based on the word of God. The foundation should always be prayer, fasting, and the scriptures. Why? Because that's what God has given to us. That is what we need, and that is what we should be using on a daily basis in order for us to get through and to survive this life. When you're preparing for marriage, when you're preparing for your career, when you're preparing, it's prayer, fasting the word of God. And through that, the fruit of the Spirit will develop. Through that, godly character will develop, through that, righteous and holy convictions will develop, through that, your level of resilience will develop. Through that, your trust and your faith in God will develop. Why? Because the Lord will be leading you, the Holy Spirit will be leading you and guiding you into all the things that you need to or are able to do. And it is something that is so key and it's so important. And I really hope that this is a blessing to someone today. Please share it with others and encourage other people. Take this message and share it with somebody else. Seek out teachings from good Bible teachers that are able to break down some of these topics even better than I'm able to. Do that. Listen to them, take what they're saying on board. I have lived it, I am still living it, and I will always live it. Because of the love that I have for Jesus for all that he has done for me. Everyone's testimony is different, but our testimonies are glorious. The word of God tells us that we overcame him being the enemy by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. You go through things not just because you're going through them for going through them's sake. You go through because the Lord is building your testimony. Sometimes we go through things because it's our own fault, because we're just reaping some stuff that we sowed a while back, right? It happens. You know, if you spend years and years and years and years and years and years and years eating fast food, only fast food, you don't eat anything else other than fast food, you don't take your vitamins, you don't eat well, you don't drink water, and you end up sickly for a while. That's not because the enemy is attacking you, that's because you lived a very unhealthy lifestyle. Do you understand? But then there are some things that can happen where yes, you the enemy is doing things against you and is working against you, but that's part of the Christian walk. That's part of the life that we have in Christ. The Bible tells us that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. So this is not something that should be unusual to the believer. But what should be standard and what should be something that we should strive for to build discipline in is prayer, fasting, and the word of God. The three pillars, the three basic foundational pillars that should undergird and underpin the faith that we have in Christ and our walk as a Christian. It's so key, it's so important. Meet a Christian and you see they're going through a lot of things. In some cases, it could be because one of these areas are not in place. Other areas will follow. When you need healing, the Lord will bring that healing to you because the Holy Spirit is able to minister to you. One of the biggest issues that we have is that Christians are not able to really hear the voice of their father. They can't hear the voice of God, or they struggle to hear the voice of God. Why? Because their spirit is dull, they haven't tuned their spirit to the frequency of God's voice. They haven't tuned their spirit. How do you tune your spirit to the frequency of God's voice? You do that by prayer, fasting, and the word of God. Studying the word of God, eating the word of God. The Bible tells us in Joshua chapter 1, verse 8, that this book of the law should not depart out of your mouth, but you should meditate in it day and night. Every day. The word of God is your is your food. The word of God, even Jesus Himself said to us that man should what? Not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. That's what we should live by. Jesus even taught us to pray, give us this day our daily bread. I'm no theologian, but I do not believe that he was just referring to physical bread and physical food. He's referring to our spiritual nourishment. The same way you need to eat physical food every day to remain, you know, strong and healthy and to have enough energy to get through your busy life and to get through the things you need to get through. You need spiritual food every day. Your spirit needs to be nourished, your spirit needs to be fed. So it's everywhere in the word of God that you need to have that communion with God. I take it another step further. When you look and you study the tabernacle of Moses, the Bible said that the showbread that was put out for the priest's consumption had to be baked fresh every day. Every day showbread had to be made. Now I don't have time to go into the showbread and what all of that means and the significance of it, but it had to just take my word for it. You can read that in the book of Exodus. It had to be made fresh and baked fresh every day. So the Lord gives us understanding that every day we need to be consuming his word. Every day we need to be consuming bread that's able to build us up, that is able to strengthen us, to guide us, to lead us, to direct us. The word of God tells us that the word of God is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. In other words, this is guiding your everyday life, what you believe, the mindsets you have, the convictions you have, the way in which you live your life, your disciplines, your approach to life, how you handle situations. It's so important. So, my brothers and sisters, I love you in Christ. I pray for you. I pray that the Father of Glory keeps you and preserves you, and that you're able to continue on this walk. No matter where you are, even if you're someone who's struggling in your prayer life, don't give up. Don't give up. Don't give up on your on your Bible study life. Don't give up on your word life. What can you do? You know, I'd advise you if you're able to join your Bible study group, find a Bible study group somewhere. They're everywhere. Find a small group, find a cell group, find somewhere that you can sit down with others to study the word of God. Find yourself a prayer partner. That's one of the things that I remember having growing up. It's just somebody that you just agree to partner with where you pray for each other. It could be your neighbor, it could be your sibling, it could be your friend, it could be your parent, it could be anybody. Anybody. Find your prayer partner and you pray for that person. If you're able to agree on a time and you pray together, if you're able to do that. There are so many things that you can do to make prayer and study in the Word of God just that much easier when you do it with a brother or sister in Christ. So I encourage you this day, just do your continued best, the best efforts you can, and you will see great things happen in your life when you have that relationship with your Heavenly Father, who you love, whom you adore, who you desire to spend more time with, who you enjoy being in his presence, and you develop that lifestyle of prayer, fasting, and digging into his word on a daily basis. Until next time, may the Lord richly bless you.