Resilient Before the Ring: Building Strength for Marriage Now

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Life brings challenges, but how do we build the strength to keep moving forward—both in our daily walk and as we prepare for marriage? In this episode of Single to Sacred Union: Biblical Prep for a Godly Marriage, Georgina Wallace explores the true meaning of resilience for Christian women.

Discover how resilience isn’t just about bouncing back—it’s about leaning into Christ, deepening your spiritual roots, and preparing your heart for the lifelong covenant of marriage. You’ll be encouraged to grow stronger in your faith and equipped with biblical truths that will carry you through every season.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hey, welcome to the single media biblical prep for a godly marriage podcast. About preparing for marriage to be. I'm your host, Georgina Wallace. And every week we'll have honest conversations about identity, purpose, and the practical steps you can take to become the women God has got you to be before you stay identity. Whether you're waiting, dating, or just starting time again, you're in the right place. Let's quote together on purpose. So one of the topics that um one of my subscribers has requested, which I thought was quite a significant topic, and I'm more than happy to dedicate this entire podcast episode to it, is the topic of resilience. More specifically, resilience in the waiting season. I do believe it's quite a profound topic to discuss and to have an idea of how are you or how can you be resilient in the waiting season. And I think it does partly come down to having an understanding of where each individual is at and what you are being resilient for, and what type of resilience you are referring to. So I'm gonna just take it from the perspective of being resilient in life from an everyday, I'm living my life, I'm working, I'm studying, I'm taking care of people, I'm serving in ministry, versus resilience in my patience for the Lord to bring about what He has for me in terms of my future marriage. So resilience is something that is very key to life. One of the things that my dad would say to me growing up is Georgina, you don't want to be a casualty of life. And what he meant by that is that he didn't want me to grow up and experience just the ups and downs of everyday life and be a casualty. Being someone or being a woman, a young woman who forever was just, I would just crumble, you know, and be broken and be down and be depressed and be frustrated and be really sad and not know how to handle the pressures and the stresses of life. And it's something that I do think in our generation, we don't have in some regards as much resilience as other generations. We've never really, at least here predominantly in the United Kingdom, the majority of people that are alive in the United Kingdom right now haven't lived through, we haven't lived through a war. We haven't lived through seasons of extreme famine and drought. We haven't lived through seasons of extreme hardship where thousands and thousands of people have lost their lives. And because of that, we have become, in some ways, quite comfortable. The average person can say that they're comfortable in life, and when I say comfortable, I mean they have not everyone now, please don't misunderstand me, but the average person has got a roof over their head, the average person has got a comfortable level of heat and heating available in the home that they're living in. The average person has access to food. Even if that food is via a food bank, they have access to food. There's not many of us within this nation, being England, the United Kingdom, there's not many of us who have access to nothing. No water, no shelter, no food. And when we are comfortable, we become less resilient. Because when our comfortabilities are removed or they become scarce or taken away, we don't have or we haven't built up enough resilience to be able to stand to get through those seasons in comparison to other people from other nations that have experienced real true hardship because of war, famine, widespread disease, drought, etc. I think you know where I'm going. Now I'm not trying to be extreme here, but I'm just trying to help you understand the perspective that I'm coming from with this topic on resilience. Resilience is so important for our everyday life. For example, when I was at university doing my undergraduate degree, I was studying applied biomedical sciences and I was based at Brighton, right? I went to Brighton University all those years ago. And it was hard. And I was doing something called a coterminist degree. Now, for those of you that know a little bit about my history, professionally, I am a biomedical scientist. That's what I do, and I've been doing it for many, many years in this career. But in order for you to become a biomedical scientist, you need something called a certificate of competence that you gain, which basically is a certificate that says that you are competent to work in an NHS laboratory. That's what it's saying, okay? And that certificate proves that you have the right skills, level, and understanding to work safely within an NHS laboratory. Now, this certificate of competence you can only gain by experience. You don't just sit down and read a few books, and then at the end of your degree, you can sit in exam paper and you get the certificate. You need practical, everyday, hands-on work experience to be able to gain the certificate. And in order to get the certificate, you then have to go through an assessment. When I was then doing this course at uni, my coterminist degree, it meant that I was doing my undergraduate degree, my general studies, in addition to having to work in the laboratory. Now, every other student that I was aware of, the vast majority, over 98% of them that I was aware of, they went to uni, then they had their Easter break, summer break, winter holiday, you know, Christmas holidays, reading week, all of those different things they had. But for my degree, I didn't have access to that. I did not get reading week. Reading week was in the curriculum and it was a part of the timetable. But anytime there was reading week, anytime there was a holiday of any kind, whether it was summer holidays, Christmas holidays, Easter break, end of semester, I had to be working full-time in the lab. And I had to build up a level of resilience to keep going. Because it wasn't just like that in my first year and in my second year, my degree was three years. It was three years of no break. There was no downtime, there was no break. Throughout this time, I was still serving in ministry. Throughout this time, I was still giving my all in the house of God, doing the very best that I could. And I remember at the time thinking, this is just too much. And my praise and worship leader at the time spoke to me and I said to her, Look, I can't, I can't do this. I can't do choir, I can't do praise and worship, I just can't, I just can't, it's too much. You know, I'm too tired, I've had enough. And she was saying to me, Georgina, remember, it's this very Jesus that you are serving now that even got you to where you are today. Always remember to give him your best. And I said to myself, do you know what? I just need to pull my socks up, pace myself, and live and serve for God. Now I appreciate everybody's capacity is different. But resilience is something that we all need to have. Because if not, if life comes and bats you one way, hits you another way, you could end up being a casualty. Not because you need to go into hospital, but when I say casualty, I mean somebody who is suffering, somebody who is really going through difficult situations that you're struggling to cope with, you're struggling to live your day-to-day life, you are struggling with your health mentally, you're crying, you're becoming depressed. You know, it doesn't mean that you're not resilient. I'm not saying that, but what I am saying is that you can work on your resilience. The Bible makes it very clear to us that a man's days are few and are full of trouble. You can read that in the book of Job. Every single individual is going to face challenges, every single individual is going to face hardships. Whether it happens now or it happens later, it's going to happen. But building resilience is something that takes time. Resilience doesn't cap doesn't come overnight. Resilience takes years of dedication and experience of going through, seeing the situation for what it really is, facing it, not being afraid of it, and allowing the Lord to take you through it. If we look at the way God has put the world together, there are different seasons. You have spring, summer, autumn, winter. The earth is resilient, is able to go through season after season after seasonal change, year after year after year. And as a believer, we should also be able to do the same. Now, how much I can take on my shoulders will be different to how much my sister could take on his shoulders, will be different to how much one of our brothers could take on his shoulders. Everybody's capacity is different. But we have to be able to learn to increase our capacity. Because if all you've ever had to do with in your life is having a cold and needing to phone sick into work, your capacity is a lot less potentially than somebody who's had to do with being a carer because they have a sick family member who they've had to take care of for the past three years. Do you understand? Different level of capacity. And the point is, is allowing when the seasons come, go through the season, don't run away from it, don't shy from it. I'm not saying go out in life and cause trouble to come your way. Like I said, don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm not saying go and chase trouble. No, but when things happen, when challenges come, you face them head on. It doesn't mean that it's going to be easy, but resilience is important because when you are married, you will go through challenges with your spouse. Those challenges may not be directly linked to your marriage, those challenges could be external challenges that come and that could affect your relationship with your spouse. For example, a family could go through extreme financial hardship because let's just say your husband, God forbid, but your husband lost his job. If your husband lost his job and he was the main breadwinner of the family, by this point you've got two children and you're a full-time stay-at-home mum because you're looking after your children, it's the best decision for you as a family to keep the costs down because childcare is too expensive. That's a crisis. What do you do in that season? How do you handle those seasons? You need resilience to be able to stand. It can happen. God forbid, but somebody's spouse gets sick. If your spouse gets sick, what do you do? You need resilience to be able to stand in those situations. Now, fair enough, these are quite extreme examples, but as much as they are extreme examples, they are real life, genuine examples that happen to people every day. I see sick people every single day. Some with their wives, some with their husbands, some with their family members, their friends. Children sick in hospital. And I don't mean, oh, they've just got a cold. No. Serious sickness, serious disease. It happens. It's a part of everyday life. So being someone who is resilient and is able to stand in the face of challenges will help you. Now I'm not talking about people that go about and are creating problems for themselves and not using wisdom. We must use wisdom, apply wisdom, don't go chasing trouble. If you know that there's somebody in your school or in your college or your uni that's dabbling in stuff they shouldn't be dabbling in, don't go and rub shoulders too close with them. Keep your distance. Stay away because trouble can come your way. And that trouble is not going to be there for you to be like, oh, I need to be resilient. No, you need to get away from that. It's not wise. You need to get away from those situations. You need to get away from those group of people. You need to separate yourself from them. This is really, really, really important. It's really important. But then there's also resilience in your relationship with the Lord. Attacks will come. The Bible tells us we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Spiritual resilience comes from the depth that you have in Christ. How much do you know his word? How much is his word a reality to you? How much of the word of God is deep in your heart? How much of the scriptures do you really take on board? How much of the scriptures do you really actually believe in? And these are things that are so important for us to understand. These are things that are so key for us to remember and to take on board. So resilience for me in this podcast, I'm just sharing, is twofold. Resilience in your daily life and resilience in your walk with the Lord. The two go hand in hand. Whether you are single, whether you are married, you need to have a level of resilience. Now, like I said, everybody's different, everybody's wired different. Everybody can handle so much. What I might be able to bear, somebody else may not be able to bear. What's what my sister down the road may be able to bear, maybe I wouldn't be able to bear it. Do you understand? But the Lord doesn't give us any more than we can bear. His word says that my grace is sufficient for you. It's sufficient. What is grace? One of the more basic definitions of grace is God's divine enablement. Basic definition. There's a lot more to grace than my than the statement I've just made. But just for the sake of the example that I'm trying to give, is his divine enablement. He enables you to get through it. Why? Because of the the mercy he shows you, because of the the ability and the strength that he gives to you physically, the strength that he gives to you spiritually, the strength that he gives to you mentally to get through your life, to get through seasons. So it's about walking closely with your father. And that's why we can't neglect the basic things of the kingdom. We think prayer, fasting, the word of God, oh blah blah blah, church attendance. We just in many cases downplay and treat it as though it's just, oh, it's fine, I'll go to church next week. We don't understand the spiritual transaction that takes place in the spirit when you go into the house of God and sit amongst believers with a heart that is willing to worship and to honor and to receive from the spirit of God whilst you're in that service. God makes it very clear to us in his word. He said that we shouldn't uh neglect the gathering together of the brethren. There are things in the spirit realm that we don't see or understand, but God says it for a reason. Every time you pray, every time you fast, every time you spend time in his word, these are things that you might just think, oh, it's fine, I'll just do it later. But we neglect them. And we don't realize that one day we will need to draw from the very investment that we have made spiritually. And a lot of people are drawing from empty wells. A lot of people are drawing from empty wells. The Bible gives us a beautiful scripture in Isaiah in Isaiah chapter 12 and verse 3. It says, Therefore with joy shall you draw water out of the wells of salvation. What is the well of salvation? When you got saved and you are walking with Christ, you are watering. You are watering. When times get hard, when challenges come, when there's difficulty in life, your well will be empty. There won't be much water in it for you to draw from. So the resilience comes by the word of your testimony. When you can look back and say, Do you know what? This is happening right now. But I remember two, three years ago, God did this. God came through for me in this way. The Father did this for me. I prayed and he answered my prayer in this way. Jesus, I bless you. Jesus, I thank you. Father, I draw water. Father, water me. Father, I draw water from the well springs of salvation according to your word in Isaiah chapter 12, verse 3. Father, you said that I should therefore rejoy, shall I draw water out of the wells of salvation? Father, I remember your goodness. Father, I remember your kindness. I'm saying that as an example of what you would do to draw.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

But if you don't invest and fill up your well, what are you going to draw from? What are you going to draw from?

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Your wells are practically empty. You haven't poured into yourself. You haven't taken time to invest in your future. You haven't taken time to study the word of God. You haven't written the word of God on your heart. King David said, Your word have I hidden in my heart that I might not sin against you. When temptation comes, when trouble comes, when problems come, when life circumstances come, whether you're single or you're married, the principle is the same. There's a level of resilience that you will be able to have. Why? Because you invested in yourself. And I I speak to everybody, you know, men and women, when I say I am now a mum, I've got three young children. At the time of this recording, I've got three young children. And they're all of them are under the age of five. I do not have the same amount of time in this season of my life now as I had when I was single. I don't. When I was single, before I had any children, now there may be some listeners out here that might say, Well, Georgina, I'm single, but I do have children. Do you understand? But my point is there was a time in your life when you didn't have children. You didn't have the job that you have today. You don't have the response, you didn't have the responsibilities that you have today. Do you understand? There are so many different seasons of life. So I would say if you are a young woman, a young man, you have time. Yes, you're studying, yes, you're busy. I get that. I've been there, I've done that, I've done the works, I've done the GCSCs and the A levels and the undergraduate degree, the masters, I've done it, the diplomas, I've done it, I've done it all. So I understand that time is difficult and it's hard. But you need to find that time. You make that time. The same way you will stop and you will say, I need to drink something, I need to eat something to keep going. The way you give your physical body good sustenance, you need to ensure that you take your vitamins and you know you you are eating you know the best diet you possibly can. You do your best. You make time to drink. If you don't drink for a number of days, you'll end up white, you end up in hospital. If you don't eat for a long time, you end up in hospital because you won't be well. Your body will be will not be able to function. It's the same thing with us looking after ourselves spiritually. We need to ensure that we're taking in the word of God, we're taking in our vitamins, we're taking in our supplements, we're ensuring that we are focused and we are keeping our prayer life alive. It's important for us to do that. So I would say on the topic of resilience. It takes time. So take home messages. The topic of resilience is a broad one. I'm only just touching the very basic understanding of what it really means to be resilient. There are so many other teachings out there that I'm sure will blow my one out of the water, but I'm okay with that because I'm not trying to be the best. I'm just trying to share with you what I have in my heart that will be a blessing to somebody somewhere. So I would just say, in summary, resilience doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. You need to build up resilience naturally, you need to build resilience spiritually. Because whether you are single or whether you are married, resilience is going to be necessary in some seasons and at some time in your life. You will need it. And the best way to do that is to invest in yourself. Invest in your own spiritual development. Invest in your own personal development. If you know that you're somebody who crumbles easily, see if you can find someone that you can talk to. See if you can find somebody that's able to help you and to support you into being a little bit more resilient when challenging times come. So many people can testify they've had a really awful boss. Awful boss. Does that mean that you just get up and leave your job and say, oh, I quit because my boss has been horrible to me? Is that what I do? My boss is giving me a hard time, they keep giving me, you know, they keep being rude to me and saying horrible things to me. Do I just get up and leave my job? Wisdom would say, get another job first and then leave the job. Rather than just on the whim because you're emotional and because you're upset and you're offended, you just get up and storm out. Oh, I've resigned. You leave the job, you walk away.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

How are you going to pay your bills? How are you going to pay your bills?

SPEAKER_00 23:59

If you have dependents, other people that are relying on you to bring in a salary, you can't just walk out because other people are relying on you. You need to be a little bit more resilient. Dig your heels in, clench your teeth, don't say anything, and you grind and you get on and you work until you're able to leave where you are. Move on and take another job. Somewhere else. It's about applying wisdom. So I hope that this podcast episode has helped someone, that it's helped you, even if it's just one thing you've taken away. I give God thanks and I give all the glory to the Lord for that. Until next time, the Lord bless you richly.