Scapegoat Child Healing Breaking Free from Narcissistic Parents, Trauma & Reclaiming Your God-Given Identity

If you were the scapegoat in a narcissistic family, this isn’t just trauma—you were targeted because of what’s on your life.
This episode will help you break free from narcissistic abuse, heal deeply, and reclaim your God-given identity and voice.

📚 For books & more → redhottruthministry.com
🙏 Support the ministry → paypal.me/mocall89

In this powerful episode, Michelle dives into the hidden impact of narcissistic family dynamics, scapegoating, and emotional abuse on your identity, confidence, and spiritual calling. If you grew up feeling misunderstood, criticized, or like your light was constantly dimmed—this message is for you.

You’ll learn how narcissistic parents program self-doubt, how trauma affects your nervous system and self-worth, and why your calling may feel blocked—even though it’s still very much alive.

Through biblical truth, spiritual insight, and practical healing tools, this episode will guide you to:

* Break free from internalized lies and negative programming
* Heal from narcissistic abuse and family trauma
* Rebuild confidence and reclaim your voice
* Understand the connection between trauma and your calling
* Step into your identity as chosen, anointed, and set apart by God

This is for the scapegoat, the cycle-breaker, the one who always felt different.
You are not broken—you were set apart.

Includes a powerful guided prayer for healing, renouncing lies, breaking word curses, and restoring your identity through Christ.

Your light was never lost… just buried.


Music by @DeepInstrumental

Disclaimer:
This content is provided for educational and spiritual encouragement purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical, psychological, or mental health care. If you have concerns about your physical or mental health, please seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional.

This video includes Christian teachings, prayer, and faith-based perspectives intended to support spiritual growth and healing. No medical, psychological, or therapeutic claims or guarantees are made.

Any books or eBooks mentioned are offered as educational resources to support personal reflection and spiritual development.

Viewer discretion is advised.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, suicidal thoughts, or thoughts of self-harm, please seek immediate help from a qualified medical professional or contact your local emergency or crisis support services.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi beautiful souls, welcome back to Red Hot Truth, a home for the broken where healing begins. We are currently doing our series called The Scapegoat's Awakening, and today we are talking all about when your light was dimmed. If you are the scapegoat or the black sheep of your family, you can go back and listen to the rest of this series. I will create a playlist on YouTube and that will be available soon. You can also check out our other playlists. We have a full playlist for healing. So if you have depression, if you have endometriosis, if you have gone through birth trauma, if you're struggling with fear, whatever it is, there's so many healings there that you can sit and receive healing by the Holy Spirit and let him guide you through that process. These are gentle, but they are very powerful. If you are listening to this on YouTube, then please like and share. Subscribe. That really helps bring more people to watch these videos and these healings. And I appreciate that support and that growth as well. It helps boost my confidence every time I get a new subscriber. I'm like, yay! So hit that subscribe button if you haven't already. And if you're listening on one of the podcast platforms, you can now text the show. Tell us what you think, tell us how you're finding these episodes. If there's anything in particular that you want me to talk about, if you have any questions, or if there is something that you need prayer for or healing for, then just let me know because I'm happy to create whatever it is that you need. Finally, just one last thing before we get into the episode. I do have this book, The Six Pins of Narcissistic Abuse. If you are the scapegoat, the black sheep, then this will speak to you. There's lots of information in here around narcissistic abuse, and there's also a lot of prayers so that you can experience freedom and healing and move forward to break these generational patterns and take back your power from the enemy. I will also leave that in the description. All of this can be found on my link, redhottroopinistry.com. So let's begin. There are people listening to this who didn't just grow up unsupported. You were actively dimmed. Not by strangers, not by the world around you, not by the school bullies, but by the very people who were supposed to protect you and love you. If you've ever felt like everything that you ever loved became a battle, every gift became a problem, every moment of joy got turned into shame, this episode is for you. I was thinking about this this morning as I was getting ready because sometimes I don't prepare too much for these episodes because I know that the Lord is going to sometimes tell me last minute what he wants me to talk about. And today I was thinking a lot about how when I was in school I used to love performing on stage and I used to do the school concert, but it became such a source of stress and it was just chronic stress to the point that it sucked all the joy out of this hobby, and I didn't want to do it anymore. This is very common. Over time, you stop trying. It's not because you're lazy or because you lack discipline, but because everything just costs too much emotionally, too much energy, to being drained all the time, having to fight for the smallest things. It's very exhausting. And sometimes we just give up. So even something as simple as the school play or the concert becomes tension, conflict, constant criticism. And eventually your nervous system learns that joy is not safe, hobbies are not safe, fun is not safe, freedom is not safe, spending time with your friends is not safe because every single one of your friends will be scrutinized and they'll be like, I don't trust that person, I don't like that friend. There's something off about them, there's something off about their parents. So everything becomes a source of stress and attack, and you start to shrink. You start to shrink to try and keep the peace within here because you're just so exhausted. And this is basically the weaponization of your identity. When your hobbies, talents, your appearance are constantly criticized. And many people with narcissistic parents, you will be told things like your forehead is too big, your face is too long, you need a fringe, you are gaining a bit of weight, you know. You'll constantly feel scrutinized and criticized. And even as a child, I was called ugly. So the mirror became a source of stress. Even to this day, I have one small little mirror in my kitchen where I get ready. And there's two mirrors upstairs, but I cover them because I don't like the mirror. I don't want to see myself, I don't want to look at myself unless I have to. This becomes your internal voice where you're constantly scrutinizing and criticizing yourself. Recently, I was feeling very insecure and just feeling not good enough. And I was like, Oh, if I had the money, maybe I would go and get this cosmetic cosmetic procedure done just to feel more confident or whatever. And the Lord brought that to my attention last night. And he said, Why do you feel like that? Why do you feel like you're not good enough? Or why do you feel like your imperfections, which we all have, are something that need to be erased? I started I started to sit with it and I realized, you know, that there's many parts of me that have been just so nitpicked and scrutinized and criticized, and I developed lots of fear around how I look. And this is something that I've worked on before. It used to be so bad to the point that I couldn't tie my hair up, and I always had to have a fringe, and my hair always had to be perfectly done to like hide parts of my face, or I would always wear sunglasses. But I've overcome that, you know, that bodiless morphia has been healing, but there's still some work to do just to help with my confidence. And I think this is something that many of us struggle with when you've when you've been picked apart and you don't feel good in your own skin. And these abusers will say things like, Oh, you think you're so special, who do you think you are, you're not good enough, or you're not. What was the thing I heard this morning in my head? I literally woke up remembering this as I opened my eyes this morning. Because I had lots of dreams last night. And when I woke up, I heard that voice in my head saying, You're conceited, you think too highly of yourself, you think you're better than everyone else. And that is simply not true at all. And when I first woke up, I was a bit disorientated and I was like, was that the Lord telling me that I have some pride, or maybe there's something in me that needs to be uprooted? But then I realized, no, that's not the voice of the Holy Spirit at all. That was the voice of my father because he used to say things like that to me, and then I had to sit with it. And I still probably need to sit with it again later because I didn't have much time. I was just kind of sitting with my inner teenager in the car and we were having this conversation, and I spent like 10 minutes kind of shifting through it, but there's more work to do later on. These voices become your internal voice, and this is how strongholds are formed. This is how we end up needing deliverance to begin with, because these demons can literally weaponize this and they can become really loud, and they they can convince you as well that this is the voice of the fodder, you know, nitpicking at you and controlling you and saying, Don't do this and you should do that. And oh, you're not really that special. Humble yourself. Like sometimes we may even think, is this God speaking to me? Is he convicting me? Am I in trouble? Did I do something wrong? Sometimes this is just that abuser's voice still loud in your mind, and it needs to be plucked, it needs to be uprooted. Proverbs 18 21. Dead and life are in the power of the tongue. So these words don't just hurt you, they literally program you and they can also curse you. Words can become curses, especially when they are spoken over you by an abuser. And this programming can cause you to shrink and hide, it can cause you to doubt who you are or who you have been called to be. They cause you to fear visibility, you start to question your worth, you hide all your talents, and you stop being yourself in order to cope. And why this blocks your calling? When God places something inside of you, whether that's a gift, a calling, an anointing, a talent, but the abuse creates all this contradiction to that. So you're called to be seen, but you're trained to hide, you're called to speak, but you're trained and programmed to be quiet. You're called to shine your light and be the light of the world, as the Bible tells us, but trained to feel ashamed of any time that you you try to shine. So you end up in this constant internal tension, and it's like parts of you are trying to move forward and trying to do the thing that the Lord is calling you to, but parts of you are pulling you back in fear because they think that you're going to be punished for that, or they think that you're being disobedient or you're doing something wrong, when in reality that is the voice of the past, and it is the voice of the enemy using your trauma as a weapon. Jeremiah. Jeremiah 29, 11. For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, but yet we struggle to believe that. And not because God is unclear about us, but because our foundation has been damaged and it's rocky and it's shaky. When you're walking on a foundation that feels like an earthquake, you are constantly stumbling and falling, and you pick yourself up and dust yourself off, and you say, Okay, God, let's do this thing, but then you trip over a rock and fall again. This is what the enemy has planted. He has used the abuse and all this programming to cause you to constantly trip over yourself and question yourself and doubt yourself and gaslight, and there could even be a lot of shame. There could be self-hatred, there could be protection where you where you've built these walls around yourself to protect yourself, but they act like a cage that boxes you in. In the Bible, the Lord talks about placing torns to prevent us from moving forward. But usually this is for protection, for safety, for growth. Those torns will be placed either to protect you from someone else or to protect you from yourself until you're ready to move. But the enemy also binds us in torns, but they're a different type of torn. When the enemy does it, he wraps them around you and they they physically hurt. It causes affliction, it causes pain, it causes you to feel like you can't move. And that's why we have to start unwinding from these torns. We have to uproot them, we have to pluck them. These seeds that have been planted in our minds that are not from God, we have to come out of agreement with them, we have to renounce them, we have to start declaring over our own lives. And I know in Christian spaces, using AI or Chat GBT is controversial. A lot of people are against it, but I actually really like ChatGBT because if you need a prophetic prayer that is biblical, that is rooted in the word of God, that is going to help you renounce these types of vows and come out of agreement with them, break the word crisis, instead of sitting here for two hours trying to write out the perfect prayer, you can get it in a couple of minutes. And you also ask for it to be rooted in the word of God. And I just find it really helpful when I am sitting working through all my trauma. I will sit and I will ask the Lord to show me the roots and we will work on the roots, we will heal them, we will heal the inner child or the inner teenager, I will release my grief or my fear or my shame, whatever it is, I will repent and I will move through that journey with the Lord. But then if I need a specific prayer to dismantle something in the kingdom of heaven, you know, in the second heaven, if there's a throne, the Lord will sometimes reveal a throne to me. He will say, This throne is stacked up against you and it is actually blocking you from moving forward because the enemy can plant these things around us. And sometimes I don't have all the answers. I don't know everything. I'm one person, you know. Trauma is my area. This is what I'm good at. Sometimes I need help to find and locate the prayers. So for that reason, if you need to, if you if you need to source prayers in that way, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Use whatever tools you need. Use the Bible, use these apps, these Bible apps that are designed to help you. Do your own research, find prayers that are rooted and anchored in the word of God that can help shift you, and listen to the Holy Spirit guiding you. There's no law that says that we can only do this one way. You can use multiple tools and resources on your journey so that you can get free. And that is the goal. We see in the book of Genesis the story of Joseph where he was rejected, trade, and sold by his own brothers. And it wasn't because he was weak or because there was something wrong with him. It was because they saw something in him. In Genesis 37, 11, we see that his brothers were jealous of him. Jealousy doesn't mean that you have reached your destination. It means that something is about to be birthed in you, or you're about to go on a journey, and other people see your potential before you do, and they try to stifle it. They try to put out your light. And the enemy uses people like this for that purpose. Joseph did return to his brothers, and sometimes people think this means that we're meant to go back to the people who abused us. Honestly, that's not the full picture here. That's not what the story is telling us. Joseph didn't go back the same vulnerable, unprotected version of himself. He had full authority, he had boundaries, he had power, he had discernment, and he also tested their character before he trusted them to ensure that they had learned their lesson. This this is not a story about returning to what broke you or what hurt you. It's about God redeeming what was meant to destroy you. And he does prepare that table before our enemies. You know, that does not mean that you have to go back. It means you have to forgive and keep moving forward and stay obedient to God. There may be a time for reconciliation with some, but for for others, especially if that person is still a danger, still a risk, then you shouldn't go back. You shouldn't go back and put yourself in harm's way. I just want to make that clear. Genesis 50-20. You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good. And healing is the turning point. So before elevation comes healing. And if you skip healing, you're gonna carry their voice into your future, their limitations into your calling, and their fear into all your decisions. This is why the Lord separates us. It's why he brings us through that wilderness season and that season of pruning and preparation. And again, that's what the playlist with the prophetic healings are for. It is to help you uproot these torns and these weeds and start healing your soul wounds and your trauma so that you can be ready when the Lord is ready to move you into your next season. Healing is where you separate your identity from their words and you break agreement with their lies and you relearn safety in expression, in expressing yourself in your unique talents, your gifts. Romans 12, 2. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This is really important. Renewing your mind isn't just reading scripture. Like yes, we have to read scripture and we have to stay close to God, but you also have to deprogram. You have to uproot the weeds and the seeds and the torrents, and that's how you reprogram. You heal these parts of you that were traumatized, that were hurt. You allow yourself to feel and release the pain. You help these parts of you forgive so that you can let go and so that you can put those boulders down. Because we often carry these heavy weights and these chains around with us, and this is about breaking those chains so that you can walk closer to freedom. In the book of Psalms, you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. Again, this doesn't mean go back to the people who harmed you. It means God establishes you so fully, so visibly and so undeniably that what tried to diminish you can no longer touch you. And we see this in David's story, where he went from being in the pit, crawling on his hands and knees, to literally being a king. And your life will become the evidence. No revenge, no proving a point, but fulfillment, you know, where you're finally walking in the life that you were always meant to lead. So the truth is that you didn't lose your gifts, your calling, your light, or your talents, but they have become buried under fear, shame, and survival. And now it's really time to reclaim it and take back everything that the enemy stole from you. So, Heavenly Father, we come before you in the mighty name of Jesus, and we thank you that you are near to the brokenhearted and you save those who were crushed in spirit. Lord, you see every moment where our light was dimmed, every word that cut deep, every time we were made to feel small, ashamed, or not enough. Today we bring those wounds into your presence. Father, we ask that you begin to heal every place in us that was harmed by harsh words, constant criticism, rejection, or control. Go into the deep places of our hearts, the memories, the patterns, the beliefs, and pour out your truth, your peace, and your restoration. In the name of Jesus, we renounce every lie that was spoken over us. We renounce the lie that we are not enough. We renounce the lie that we are too much. We renounce the lie that we should shrink, hide, or stay silent. We renounce the lie that our gifts are the problem. We renounce the lie that we are unworthy, unlovable, or insignificant, and we break agreement with every word curse spoken over our identities, our appearance, our voice, our calling, or our futures. Your word says in Isaiah 54 17 that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, and every tongue that rises against me in judgment I shall condemn. So right now we cancel every negative word spoken over our lives, and we declare that those words will no longer bear fruit in us. But replace every lie with your truth. Where there was shame, release confidence. Where there was fear, release boldness, where there was heaviness, release joy. Your word says in 2 Timothy 1.7, that you have not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. So we receive that now. Lord, we ask that you restore our voice, restore our creativity, restore our confidence to be seen and heard. Give us the power to step out into what you have called us to, without fear, without hesitation, and without shame. Teach us how to walk in wisdom and boundaries so that we never again allow what harmed us to define us. And Father, we surrender our calling back to you. Your word says in Romans 11 29 that your gifts and calling are irrevocable. So we declare today that what you placed inside of us is still alive. It is not lost, it is not broken, it is being restored, and we choose to rise, we choose to heal, we choose to walk in the fullness of who you created us to be. In Jesus' mighty name, amen. So I pray that this episode brings you some clarity today. And just remember that you were always meant to shine. You are the light of the world, as the Bible says, and these people that have stomped all over you and they've tried to put out your light, they are often operating under that Leviathan spirit, and it can be really heavy, it can feel exhausting and really crippling trying to assert yourself when there's somebody there that's constantly putting you down. But this is why we remove ourselves. And I did do a full episode talking about no contact and is it biblical to go no contact? You can watch that episode because I think it's really important if you have people like this in your life, that you get away from them, their influence, and the brainwashing, the programming. Because you deserve to be all that you were created to be, and you deserve to shine. I love you lots, guys. I will see you in the next one. Take care. Bye. Remember to stay close to Jesus because freedom is yours.