Carrying Crosses We Didn’t Choose - Luke 9:23

Some crosses don’t come wrapped in purpose…
they show up looking like inconvenience, frustration, and “this was NOT part of my plan.”

In this episode of Divine Shenanigans, Brynn gets real about what Jesus meant in Luke 9:23—and why “take up your cross daily” is a lot less aesthetic and a lot more surrender than we’d like.

We’re talking about the kind of obedience that doesn’t get applause.
 The kind of surrender that costs your ego.
 And the kind of growth that happens when you let go of needing to be right, in control, or understood.

Through Scripture, personal storytelling, and some very honest “I wish I handled that better” moments, this episode explores:

✨ The difference between the crosses we create and the ones God actually asks us to carry
 ✨ Why surrender often feels like loss before it feels like freedom
 ✨ What it looks like to follow Jesus when it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable, and unseen
 ✨ How to recognize when your ego is louder than your obedience
 ✨ Real-life faith struggles (because we are not doing fake, polished Christianity here)

You’ll also hear:

🎙️ A personal story about a pride-filled moment that turned into a surrender lesson
 📞 Community confessions that will make you laugh and feel seen
 📖 Biblical stories that bring cross-bearing into real-life perspective
 📝 Holy Homework to help you lay down one thing you’ve been holding onto
 🎶 Song of the Week: Garden Sweat — a raw reflection on faith that feels like showing up when nothing seems to be growing

If you’ve ever thought:

“God… this wasn’t what I signed up for.”
 “I know what I should do… I just don’t want to.”
 “Why does obedience feel so hard sometimes?”

This episode is for you.

👉 Because sometimes the cross isn’t what’s happening around you…
 it’s what God is asking you to release within you.

🎧 Listen now and join the Divine Shenanigans community—where we’re learning, laughing, and loving Jesus… one messy, honest step at a time.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It's divided. Holy clarity with grace. It's sanctified clarity. With print on the mic and truth in her hands. She's breaking down the Bible with laughter and a plan. It's divine. Oh, it's divine shenanigans.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Hey friends, welcome back to the Divine Shenanigans Podcast, where we are learning, laughing, and loving Jesus, one slightly chaotic, very real, definitely not Pinterest perfect moment at a time. I'm your host Brynn, professional overthinker, recovering control enthusiast, and someone who has tried, on multiple occasions, to spiritually negotiate with God like He runs a customer service desk. Go ahead and laugh. Y'all know you've done the same thing. Well, today, we're talking about something that sounds real spiritual until it actually shows up in your life and ruins your plans. Carrying crosses we didn't order. Because listen, we love the idea of following Jesus until it requires surrender we didn't pre approve. So grab your coffee, your journal, or your emotional support snack, no judgment here, and let's get into it. Jesus says in Luke nine twenty three, Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. Daily. Not once, not when it's convenient, not when we feel spiritually productive. Daily. We turn take up your cross into like cute wall art. Like farmhouse decor Christianity. Take up your cross next to a wooden sign that says bless this mess. But Jesus wasn't decorating a living room. He was describing death to self. So what this actually means, taking up your cross means letting go of needing to be right, letting go of control, letting go of revenge, letting go of ego, letting go of the version of your life you thought you deserved, and choosing obedience, even when it's inconvenient, even when it's misunderstood, even when nobody claps for it. Alright, I'm gonna tell on myself real quick, because I wish I could say that I learned this gracefully, but no, no, mm no. So there was this moment, and I'm sure none of y'all have experienced this, where I was absolutely a hundred percent spiritually convinced that I was right. Like biblically right, logically right, emotionally justified. Basically, I had a whole PowerPoint in my head titled Why I Am Correct and Everyone Else Needs Growth. And someone wronged me. And I wanted validation, justice, and just a tiny amount of dramatic vindication. You know those Christ-like things. And God said, Let it go. My response, respectfully, Lord, no. Because if I let it go, they win. And God said, or you're free. Y'all, that was my cross. Not the situation, not the other person, my ego. What I wanted was to be right, to be seen, to be justified. And what God asked, to be surrendered, to be quiet, to trust him instead of proving myself. And let me tell you, carrying that cross, it felt like choking on my own pride. And that's where we need to talk about something important. Not every hard thing is a cross from God. Some of it we build ourselves. Crosses that we create, by staying in drama, God told us to leave, holding on to offense, proving a point instead of protecting our peace, replaying arguments in our head like it's a Netflix series. We call that carrying a cross, but really we're carrying baggage. Crosses that God asks us to carry, forgiveness when it's undeserved. So let's start here. Because before there was a cross to carry, there was a decision to surrender. In the Garden of Gethamain, Jesus is praying, not calmly, not casually. Scripture shows us something raw. He is overwhelmed. He's distressed. He knows what's coming. And he says, Father, if it's possible, let this cup pass from me. That's honesty. That's not weak faith. That's real faith. But then he follows it with yet not my will, but yours be done. That right there is where the cross actually begins. We think the cross starts when things get hard, but the cross starts when your will and God's will don't match, and you choose his anyway. You ever had a moment where you knew that God was asking and your immediate reaction was Is there another option? Like a spiritual are you sure button? Because surrender sounds beautiful until it costs you something. Jesus didn't want the suffering, but he chose obedience over preference. And that is the model. Not pretending it's easy, choosing it anyway. Now let's move from willing surrender to unexpected assignment. Let's talk about Simon of Cyrene. Simon is just living his life. He's passing through he didn't wake up that morning thinking today feels like a great day to be pulled into someone else's suffering. And suddenly Roman soldiers grab him and force him to carry Jesus' cross. No warning, no preparation, no consent. And if we're honest, this is where a lot of us struggle. We're okay carrying crosses we choose. But the ones we didn't order, the ones that interrupt our plans, the ones that feel unfair, those are the ones that make us go, God, this was not on my schedule. Simon didn't volunteer, but his obedience still mattered. And sometimes your cross isn't something you choose. It's something you were handed. A situation you didn't create, a responsibility you didn't expect, a season you didn't plan for. And you're standing there like, why me? Not every cross is punishment. Some crosses are participation. Participation in growth, refinement, deeper dependence on God. Simon carried the cross, but he also walked beside Jesus. And sometimes the thing that feels like interruption is actually an invitation. Now let's look at the other side of this, because not everyone chooses the cross. The rich young ruler, the cross we walk away from. This one this one hits. A man comes to Jesus and asks, What must I do to inherit eternal life? And Jesus tells him, Follow the commandments. The man says, I've done all that. So Jesus goes deeper. He says, Sell everything you have and follow me. And the man walks away. Not angry, not rebellious, but sad. Because he couldn't let go. His cross wasn't suffering. It was surrender. It was letting go of what he trusted more than God. We love following Jesus until he asks for the thing we're most attached to. And for us, that might not be money. It might be control, comfort, validation, identity, being right. And when God says lay that down, we feel the tension. Some crosses aren't heavy, they're just hard to release. And sometimes we don't carry the cross because we don't want to let go of what's in our hands. So let's bring this all together. We've got three moments here. Jesus and Gethame, the cross you choose through surrender, Simon of Cyrene, the cross you didn't choose but still carry, the rich young ruler, the cross you walk away from. And if we're being honest, we've been all three. We've had the moments of surrender, moments of resistance, moments where we walked away. Following Jesus is not about perfection, it's about choosing surrender again, picking up the cross again, letting go again, even after we've resisted before. So as we move forward, I want you to sit with this question. What cross is God asking me to carry right now? And what am I still trying to hold on to instead? Because the answer to that question might be the very place your growth begins. Alright, it's time Y'all know what this means Community Confessions. Welcome to the part of the show where we realize we are not alone in our spiritual chaos. Confession number one. Susan from Colorado sent in I knew God told me to stop arguing, but I sent one more text. And then three follow ups, and then a paragraph. Doug from Minnesota said I stayed in a situation way too long and called it being faithful when it was actually fear. Then Tammy from Georgia shared this. I prayed for peace, but kept picking up the same offense every day. Listen, we laugh when we hear these stories, but we've all done it. So how do we actually live this out? First thing we can ask, is this my cross or my ego? Before reacting? Is this obedience or am I trying to win? Practice daily surrender, not dramatic, not performative, just small daily moments. Choosing silence, choosing kindness, choosing to walk away. Let God handle what you keep trying to control. Because control feels powerful, but it is so exhausting. Expect it to feel uncomfortable. If it feels like dying to self, you're probably doing it right. Alright, it's time for holy homework. I want you to identify one ego attachment. Being right, being validated, being in control, being seen. Write a private prayer of honest turning. Not polished, not pretty, just real. Here's my example. God, I don't want to let go of this. I want to be right, I want them to understand. But I feel you asking me to lay this down. So I'm choosing, even if I don't feel ready, to trust you more than my need to win. Help me carry the cross you gave me, not the one I built. Alright, before we close today, I want to sit in something for a minute. Because this message about carrying crosses, it doesn't just live in scripture. Sometimes it shows up in songs, and this week's song is one of those. This one is called Garden Sweat. And listen, this is not a cute aesthetic barefoot in the wildflowers kind of song. This is dirt under your nails, mascara halfway gone, praying while pacing the kitchen at eleven forty seven PM kind of faith. This song came from a season where I was doing all the right things. Praying, showing up, obeying, trying to trust God. And still feeling like nothing was changing. Y'all been there? Where you're like God, I am watering this garden and all I see is dirt. And what hit me was this Obedience doesn't always feel fruitful right away. Sometimes it feels like work sweaty, repetitive, unseen work. Because spiritual growth looks a lot more like gardening than fireworks. Gardening faith looks like showing up when you don't feel inspired, trusting seeds you can't see yet, pulling weeds that keep growing back. Watering soil that looks unchanged. And here's the thing nobody posts the garden sweat part. We post the harvest, we post the flowers, we don't post the part where we're like, God, I'm tired, and this is not cute anymore. Carrying your cross often looks like tending a garden you didn't ask for. Because some crosses are not dramatic. They're daily, quiet, repetitive. It's choosing patience again, forgiving again, surrendering again, trusting again. Even when your feelings say, this is pointless. There is a line in the heart of this song that came from a really honest place. If I'm gonna be tired anyway, let it be from growing something holy. Because let's be honest, we're gonna be tired either way. We can be tired from holding grudges, trying to control everything, replaying the same pain, or we can be tired from healing, trusting, surrendering, showing up with God. Like, you ever notice how we'll say I'm exhausted, but then still choose chaos? Like, ma'am, sir, we are not tired because of obedience. We are tired because we are emotionally shadow boxing situations God told us to release three Tuesdays ago. And I say that with love. There were moments in that season where I thought, maybe nothing is happening. Maybe I'm doing this wrong. Maybe God is quiet because I missed it. But what I didn't see, what was happening underground. Roots were forming, strength was building, but in what we trust God is doing anyway. This connects so deeply to let us not grow weary in doing good. Galatians six nine. Because you will get weary. But the promise is there will be a harvest, just not always on your timeline. So if you're listening right now and you feel like you're doing the work, you're showing up, you're trying to surrender, you're carrying the cross, and nothing seems to be changing. Let me remind you, you are not wasting your obedience. You're not unseen in your effort. You're not stuck. You are growing. Even if it feels like dirt right now. I want you to use this song this week as a spiritual reset moment. Listen to it when you're frustrated. Listen to it when you want to quit. Listen to it when obedience feels pointless. And instead of asking, why isn't anything happening? Ask, what is God growing in me right now? Here's a simple reflection that you can journal with. Where am I doing unseen work in my life right now? What might God be growing beneath the surface? Alright, take a breath. Because I know that one probably hit a little deeper than expected. But sometimes the most powerful growth in our faith comes from quiet, sweaty, unseen moments. And that is holy. The song of the day, Garden Sweat, we'll play at the end of the episode, so stick around and let it speak to you during this time. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I do. Please check out all of my music on YouTube under Brainy Leaf's music. I'm sure you'll find something there that you like. Now let's carry that into our closing prayer. God, we don't like crosses we didn't choose. We like comfort, we like control. We like being right, but you are calling us deeper, not into perfection, but into surrender. Help us recognize what you've been asking us to carry and what we need to lay down. Give us strength for the daily dying to self. Give us wisdom to choose obedience. Give us peace when letting go feels like loss. We trust you even here, even now. Amen. If this episode hit you somewhere real, that's not guilt. That's growth knocking on the door. Share this with a friend who might be carrying something heavy right now, or maybe carrying something they were never meant to. And as always, thank you for being part of this beautifully messy, faith filled, slightly chaotic community. And speaking of community, you can be a part of Divine Shenanigans all week long. Find me on school, that's spelled SKO L. This is where we have daily morning and evening prayers, devotionals, and discussions about these very podcast episodes. It's an amazing community, and I'd love for you to find us there. Best part, it's free. You can also find me on Substack. This is where I have our monthly newsletter. It's free also, so go and sign up with your email address. To find my music channel on YouTube, search under Bryn Elise Music. The link is in the description of this podcast. I'm Brynn, and this is Divine Shenanigans. God bless you, my friend, and I'll see y'all next time.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

Midnight in the all trees, the egg is the holding back. The waiter food is coming. None my will, none my way. Even here I will stay. Though the cross is drawing near, love is louder than the fear. And guarding sweat and sacred ground where surrender wins. Where the war inside the heart is where redemption begins. If there's any other way, still the answer stands Salvation in a whispered yes within your hands. In the garden you decided what grace would cost to give, and because you chose surrender, now the broken gets to live.