Grief: Losing Someone You Love | Honoring Ricardo Heredia Ortiz

Grief is one of the hardest things we will ever experience… y también es una expresión profunda del amor que sentimos.

In this heartfelt episode, I honor the life of my father-in-law, Ricardo Heredia Ortiz—a man who meant so much to our family. For the first time, I share this episode in both English and Spanish to truly honor him, his story, and his family. Este episodio viene desde el corazón… con amor, con dolor, y con intención.

If you are navigating loss, this conversation is for you. No estás sola… you are not alone in your grief.

I share pieces of who he was, the things he loved, and the impact he leaves behind in our lives. También comparto maneras de mantener viva la memoria de nuestros seres queridos—because love doesn’t end, it transforms.

In this episode, we talk about:

•  Honoring your loved one by doing the things they loved / Honrar a tu ser querido haciendo lo que a ellos les gustaba 
•  Spending time in nature to reconnect and reflect / Conectar con la naturaleza para sentir su presencia 
•  Sharing their stories with your children and loved ones / Contar sus historias a nuestros hijos y familia 
•  Journaling your thoughts and emotions / Escribir lo que sientes 
•  Writing letters to them as a way to process and express / Escribirles cartas desde el corazón 
•  Allowing yourself to feel, sin presión, sin prisa… without rushing your healing 

Grief comes in waves… en momentos inesperados… y está bien sentirlo todo.

This episode is a gentle reminder that even in loss, there is still connection, still love, still meaning.

Si este episodio toca tu corazón, compártelo con alguien que lo necesite 🤍

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Even when life feels anything but easy, this is your space to feel the safe seen kind of power to fully speak the language here. Because we live in both worlds and both are sacred. Whether you're navigating motherhood, setting boundaries, breaking generational cycles, or just learning to rest without guilt. You belong here. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll be reminded that you don't have to be perfect to be powerful. We're walking in faith, embracing our messy, beautiful lives, and finally believing the truth. You are already enough. Let's grow, heal, and rise together. Agualita, this is for you. Hi, beautiful ladies. I realize that it's been some time. It's crazy. I had recorded an episode all about me navigating change and navigating the unknown, and just a lot of things happening at the beginning of this year. And I didn't get a chance to edit when my father-in-law passed away. So I'm dedicating this episode to him, Ricardo Heredia Ortiz. Um, the father of my loving and amazing husband. Uh, he died on April 1st of this year, uh, 2026, at 63 years old. And I'm gonna talk about grief in this episode. I know I've done an episode on grief and the holidays, and I went back and listened to it. Um, and I don't know how strong I'm gonna I'm gonna be able to be on this episode today, but I I want you to know that if you've ever experienced grief or if someone close to you has ever experienced grief, it's not easy. No es fascil that alguien que tu quieres y amas no está intuida, diario. It's not easy to lose someone that you care about, someone that you love, and they're no longer here with you, no longer here in the day-to-day, no longer here to say hello, no longer here to give a hug, no longer here to see their smile. And I think we underestimate how much people mean to us until they're no longer here. And it sucks. It sucks that sometimes it takes someone passing away to rekindle relationships that were maybe lost, to rekindle traditions that you used to do, rekindle maybe saying, I love you to your partner, right? Like our yeah, our partners make us mad, right? And that's what they're there for. Um, just kidding. Um, but no, I think it's it makes you appreciate the people in your life and appreciate the love that people grant you and give you. And I'll talk, I want to talk a little bit about my father-in-law a little bit, uh, so you get to know him a little bit. And I'm gonna talk in English and Spanish on this episode. I know I do most of the time, but most of the time I'm speaking Spanglish. Um, but we're gonna have a mi suegro, Ricardo Ortiz. Um, we're gonna have in Spanish. And you know, much of the mixed idiomas, but we're gonna try. Uh so Ricardo Ortiz nace in Purepro, Michael. It's a place that he loved dearly and enjoyed going to every every summer. Uh, we haven't, me and my family haven't been there in in I think this is our second year that we haven't been there. Uh, but we got to go two years ago. Um, we celebrated my daughter Zoe's birthday out there, and and we and we got to experience what he loves, right? Like just not having an agenda, not having anywhere to go, having a a brewski, like he calls it, um, having delicious food, being in the plaza, shopping, having his mariscos, that's that's who he was. He loved having uh seafood and uh having a beer and being in like the center square. I don't know how you say that in English, but you in in Mexico you call it a plaza. And you know, that was that was his favorite. Um, but I think the most important one that I'm missing, um, and it has nothing to do with Pure Pero is his grandkids. His grandkids were his life, his grandkids were everything to him. And I, one of my fondest memories of him is showing up to their house and my daughter Zoe running out of the car as he's getting out of the of the garage and running up to him, and and he would tell me, Miha, I can be having the worst day ever. I can be, I can be having a shitty day. Excuse my language. Um, and one little smile from my Zoe, one little smile from my grandkids, and they just they just take everything away. And I know it's like the simplest moment, but I think those are the ones that you miss the most. Those are the ones that you're like, I don't I don't see him coming out of the garage anymore. I don't see him hugging my daughters anymore. And you know, that's that's what he would live for, his grandkids. If it was anything, it was his family, his grandkids, his church, his communion, his community, not communion, and his friends, and he was such a loving person and such a warm person to everyone that he met. And it's incredible to see, you know, how many people's lives he touched. And in the speeches, they got a chance to, you know, speak about that during his services. And I think that's one thing that, you know, he leaves in us is always being kind to people, always receiving people with open arms, not being judgmental, being accepting, being loving, and being a positive person. And I said a lot in English. Um, but yeah, one of my moments favoritos is my garage to Zoe or Bella and say that I have a day, I would have been a day frustrated, but the son of my quitava and the moments more her, not grand, but extra. Those moments are the moments that extra. And grief, like, oh my gosh, I um will say that it is a roller coaster. You all know that when I started this podcast, I dedicated to my grandma, my abuelita, that passed away last year. Um, actually, it hasn't been a year yet, but it's been 11 months now. And you think that you're ready and you think that you're you're gonna be able to grieve okay, because you know, you've gone through this, so you you know the stages. But grief is one of those things that is not linear, it is a roller coaster. You can have good days, you can have bad days, you can think you know what to expect and what feelings are gonna come out and get something completely different. And I think some of the things that people don't talk about grief is that sometimes it's just hard. It's just hard. And, you know, I think people have the best intentions and want to be there for you and want to hug you and want to like just make the pain go away. And yes, it makes it better. I think having the support of people absolutely makes things better, but it doesn't take the pain away. And I think one thing I learned from losing my abuelita was that as time went by, despite my abuelita, but the dolor, the auspices of your family, it sends like an oyto in your corner. And I'm experiencing that all over again. You know, you feel this void inside of you that you just are like, Well, is it gonna get better? Is it gonna go away? And even though I've gone through these emotions before, while you're in it, when everything feels foggy, right? Like it's like almost like you go through this period where like you're like, I don't remember. Um, because you either get into, you know, and everybody grieves different. I'm I'm gonna be honest about it. Like, some people become super helpful and like wanna just help in anything that they can so that we don't experience the pain. Some people just get into a spiral and can't get out of bed. Some people want to stay so busy that they can't think about what's going on. Some people cry because that's the that's how they release. And there's no perfect way of grieving. I think that's the one thing that I've learned. There's no perfect way of grieving. Everyone grieves so differently that most of the time people don't know how to help, or most people don't know what to say. And there's not a whole lot you can say. I think the most you can say is, I'm so sorry. Like, is there anything I can do to help? Right? Just be a listening ear. And even thinking about recording this episode, it's been in my heart to record it. And um, I wasn't ready because I think everything was so fresh still, and I was still trying to navigate my feelings. And um, I also wanted to be respectful to my husband and and his family and and not overshare, right? And not um invade their privacy with with their loss. And, you know, thankfully, my husband's family has been very receptive um to us sharing his story and honoring him, and because that is how you honor your loved ones, that is how you honor the people that have left this earth, is by continuing their legacy and continuing living, living what they've taught you and living through what they've shared with you and all of the the wonderful things about them. And as I even think about, you know, as I'm saying and I'm remembering that that is what got me through it was recording these episodes, recording and working towards publishing this podcast. Um, and at the time it was for my abuelita and and the loss. And you know, here I am again. Um, and I'm so sorry. I think uh, you know, I I wasn't sure how it was gonna come out, and um, but the tears are definitely coming. If you've if you've lost someone and if you've whether you're currently in the season of grieving that loss, or if you're in the season of I'm out of the grief stage, and now I'm in the I'm going to live for this person, but you're as you're hearing this episode those memories come flooding in. I want to say that you're not alone. You're not alone. And there's so many people that walk around with the grief in the back of their head. And even in those moments where you're like, I'm fine, I'm fine, today's a good day. Something can remind you of the person. Uh my palabras se me traban. But si es algo que es doloroso, es algo doloroso to platicar. But I sento que aunque tú estés pasando por eso ahorita, or a lot of people, nunca is fácil, es muy duro, pero sé que no estás solo, no estás sola. Because there are much dolor, con ese grief. Y en este momento tomar un pausa, I want to take a pause, just a little bit of silence to remember your loved one. Wow. What did you remember? What came to your mind? Was it the trip you took? Was it the meal you shared? What comes to mind? I've shared a little bit of my favorite memory. Um, I have lots of other fun memories and sayings. So I want to talk a little bit about how we honor our loved ones, even through the grief, even through the sad phase, the angry phase, the I don't care phase, the what's happening phase. I want to talk about how we honor our loved ones. And you all can have different ones. So if you want to send me yours, I'll share with you guys my my email so you can send them to me. Uh we're going to platic how honor to the people who am not at all. Aunque decepcionada, a queen with tristeza, todavía in cada paso, todavía los puedes honrar. So, one, y puedes creer en esto or no lo puedes creer. Todo lo que yo digo is a tu gusto. But one of the alivio or puede honorar a esa persona es estar in the naturaleza, es estar oyendo los pajaritos, o viendo los pajaritos que te rodean y que dan como un alivio top. O star in un jardine, or in those spaces that you gustaba to esa persona. Some of the ways of honoring our loved ones is by being in nature, by hearing the birds chirp and seeing the birds. That's one way that you can honor your loved ones. The second one could be writing to them. I had a friend that gave me a journal when I lost my grandmother, and it's it said something about writing letters to them. And I remember when I got it, I balled. Um, and I didn't think I would be able to journal in it. Um, but I did. And in those moments that were really hard, I would journal in there and I would write letters to her. Um, and now it was wonderful to see my um my sister-in-law gift that same gift to her siblings um so that they could write letters to their dad and to her husband. So that's another way. So escribiendo uh, escribiendo in a libretta or in un libretas especially cartas or escribirle cartas a nuestros seres queridos que ya no están aquí. A mí me dieron una amiga me regaló a journal for escribirle cartas a mi abuelita. And my cunda le dio ese mismo regalo to his hermanos and a su mamma para mandarle or no mandarle, but escribirle cartas a su papá ando. So this is the second form. The tercer form is hablando of the stories, and a vehicle is doloroso, but hablando and siguing the memory of those a travel of those historians, enseñando to our abuelito, what is in this case Papa Carlo. Because in this passage by generation to generation, and vivid in support and in their memory. So, another way, the third way, is to continue to tell stories, to be able to pass down those stories to our kids, and so that those kids can talk about you know that loved one. And for us, right, it's Papa Kallo to my daughters and to my kids. Um, that's that's a third way of remembering them, of honoring them, of having them, their spirit still be alive within us. The fourth one is to do some of the things that they loved or some of the things they didn't get to do. How many of us have bucket list items that we keep saying, oh, next year, oh I'm I'm too busy to take time off from work, oh, I'm too busy to do this. And we have a laundry list of things that we didn't get to do, and sometimes our loved ones had those. What are they? Find out. Find out what those were and maybe do them, do them in their honor. The first way of honor to have a list of things that we're doing in the life, but we are the events that we have, and we have the things that we're gonna have, for the time, for the dinner, or for what. And we have this. Y hazlo in su honor. The fifth thing I would say is honoring and blessing our own lives to live vicariously through who they were, but also honoring who we are as people, as individuals, and living our lives in a way that it makes us happy, that it makes us feel whole and it makes us feel at peace. Because how many times do we not stress out about everything? We stress out about money, we stress out about the things we need to do in our to-do list and everything that we forget that we don't have unlimited time here. We don't have we don't have it mapped out when we're leaving, right? My father-in-law was 63 years old. And for me, that's too young. And I feel like he should have had so many more years with us. But unfortunately, that didn't happen. Because our life here on earth isn't up to us, it's up to God. So why not live your life the way you would want to live it, in peace and happiness, and adventure, whatever that is for you, and stop worrying so much and stop stressing so much about the little things. Vivir y honrar una vida para ellos, pero para nosotros, por qué queremos ser, porque la vida es muy corta. A veces nosotros tratamos esas palabras como que son ciertas, pero no son ciertas, porque pensamos que tenemos toda la vida for in this movie. My suegro falleció atención 63 años, and for me, you think that this was correct. You piensa que it deverbed much more a year. But it's a recordatory that our time in the tier no podemos elegir. And a veces no lo entendemos, and a veces decimos, pero por qué? Pero por eso deberíamos vivir nuestra vida andar las cosas que queremos hacer. Because the other what we're, because a vehicle pensamos that those lo saben, but it's old. Sometimes it's important to tell our loved ones that we love them, because even though we assume that they know that we love them, they don't always, and I forgot what number we're at. I think we're at number six. Number six is grieving, actually grieving, allowing our bodies, our minds, our souls to feel every emotion. Our instincts are to cover it up as much as we can, cover the lid and not let our feelings come out. But sometimes we just need to scream. Sometimes we just need to yell at the top of our lungs. And I'm not going to do that here because I'm going to hurt your ears. But it's true. Like sometimes we want to bottle it up so much because we want to be strong. We want to be strong for our sisters, our brothers, our cousins, our kids. We want to be so strong for everybody that we don't allow ourselves to actually grieve and go through the emotions. And grieving is trauma. And you all know that when you bottle up trauma, it's never good for you. El numero 6 is poder sentiment. Siente el enojo, siente la tristeza. Siente cada emoción que está en tu cuerpo, en tu mente, in tu corazón. No lo trates de cubrir con valentía para estar fuerte para todos, estar fuerte para tus hermanas, hermanos, por tus hijos, por ti. Y piensas que ser fuerte es lo que debes de hacer. La verdad es que perder a alguien es trauma. Y ignorar nuestros sentimientos no es bueno para nosotros. Si quieres gritar, grita, grita como te sientes, grita para dejar todo ese dolor que sientes dentro de ti. Y no voy a gritar porque no quiero que tus oídos duelen. Si no tienes un espacio for, hay clases. Yo tomé una clase of yoga that was especially for grief. And I fui a class, but when I grit, sentí un alivio in my life, because sentíber and cargando. And I would say that ya no estaba triste, but me ayudó tanto a poder no more gritar and. One of the things that I did, if you feel like you don't have the space to be able to scream or cry or throw stuff, I did a grief yoga class and I cried, and that's what I was expecting to do. But when I got the opportunity to just scream at the top of my lungs, I felt such a weight off my shoulders. And it's not that I didn't feel sad anymore. It's just that I just felt like all the pressure that I was holding on to, that I felt like I was just bottling up. I was able to release it. And I just felt, well, I felt immensely tired, but I just felt at peace. So find those moments, find those classes. And we they're all different for all of us, right? Like some of us want to throw things, like there's uh, what are those like breaking places where you can like break things? Like if that's your outlet, like do it. Um but find find what works for you, find what's gonna help you be able to experience every emotion. There's therapists that are specialized in helping people go through grief, seek help. Most insurances cover it. And if you if they don't cover it, there's free resources out there. One of the formas to make things is expresiant in actividades that te gustan, in actividades that teach. Um, uh hay muchos, muchas, um, muchos andas terapeutas que hacen su especialidad in grief, en ayudar a gente que ha perdido a una persona, ordenar alguien que todavía está con vida, o el duelo de perder tu salud. There muchas formas de sentir duelo. So, yes, um those are, I guess, my tips uh for grief as you're going through it, as um I'm going through it. I think I'll probably come up with more. So there may be a part two to this episode. But I appreciate all of the messages that you have all sent, that you have sent to my husband, to my husband's family, for being there as a community uh and showing up for me. So I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart for all of the support that you all have blessed me with. And I appreciate it. And I know that in this time, my episodes might not come as often as they used to. Um, but I promise that I'm still here and feel free to re-listen to old episodes. I did that the last two weeks. I've listened to some of my episodes. And of course, there's things that I've like thought I mastered that um in moments like this or in moments of big change, you realize like, oh, I needed the reminder. So um, and if it's not this podcast, find one that that works for you, right? Like I listen to other podcasts, I'm not biased to my own. Um, and you know, I'll search for you know, grief podcast. And um, so find what works for you. Uh find what works for you. But if you're experiencing grief in this moment, I hold space for you and tell you that it's okay to feel it, it's okay to feel sad, it's okay to feel angry, it's okay to feel all of it. But just know that your loved one is always with you and you could still keep their memory alive. I hold space for you, I send you a big hug you got this, and I hope that you have a wonderful week. Te mando un abrazo fuerte y te doy gracias por estar aquí, por ser paciente with me in no poner tantos episodios ahorita. But if you gustas, pues escuchar episodios that have pasted, or others that have those bonus to say. Muchísimas gracias for this space, for tomorrow this time for me, for escuchar and adelanted. Muchísimas gracias. Thank you so much and have a wonderful day.

unknown 34:09

Bye.