From Office Floor to Faithful Leader — Mark Dolfini on Marriage, Vision, and Recovery

 Marine veteran Mark Delfini shares raw recovery from rock bottom, marriage crisis, and faith‑driven leadership. Christian podcast on men’s mental health, marriage restoration, and entrepreneurship. 

Raw, conversation with Marine veteran and strategist Mark Dolfini. Mark tells the story of hitting rock bottom — sleeping at his office, a marriage on the brink, and the small, faithful steps that rebuilt his family and business. He breaks down practical spiritual disciplines, vision‑first leadership, and how Christian entrepreneurs can lead without burning out.

This episode is for husbands, fathers, founders, and men who want honest, actionable faith‑based leadership. Expect gritty testimony, tactical business insight, and spiritual practices you can start tomorrow

Executive Strategist for Business Owners Who Want Work-Life Balance | Strategic Boardroom

https://www.skool.com/the-cave-of-adullum-1668/about

Want to be a guest on The Valiant Forge Podcast? Send Mark Osborne a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17432638464878159623a121d

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

There's a kind of rock bottom a man hits where he would rather crash on his office floor than walk through his own front door. Today's guest lived there, running from home, running from himself, until God finally met him in a place where he felt the most safe.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Welcome to the Valiant Force Podcast, where we help men overcome life's battles, show up better in the world, and become a valiant warrior for God. This is a place where we show practical strategies that will equip you on life's journey to help you become the man God has called you to be.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

He was sleeping at his office, avoiding the collapse of a marriage and the weight of his own choices, and that's exactly where God got his attention. This isn't a story about fixing a marriage. It's a story about God rebuilding a man, and it's one every man needs to hear. This is my conversation with Mark Delfini. Mark, welcome to the podcast. Mark, I like your name. Yes, yes. Yeah. I I didn't really like my name when I was younger.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

I didn't either. I didn't feel like there was a so growing up, I felt like there wasn't enough famous Marks to right. Like, and then then we then we grew up through Mark McGuire, right? And there was some other famous marks that came along. Marky Mark, we had to suffer through. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Oh my gosh, so many times have I been called that. And my last name is Osborne. So when I was young, I always got asked if I was related to Ozzy, which the name, the spelling isn't the same. But I was my nickname as a child was little Ozzy.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Oh my. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Because of my yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

And how many people spell your name in various ways or call you Marcus because they think it's more formal. You know?

SPEAKER_01 2:29

I I've been called Marcus quite a few times, but my name does get spelled with a C once in a while when people don't remember that it's actually with a K.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

It's a yeah, yeah. But but as as I've gotten older though, I will tell you I I've I have definitely grown an appreciation for it because it they're really it's not a very popular name.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Um, that's correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So tell us your story. So so how how did you come to faith? And then what brought you to being the man you are today and what you do today?

SPEAKER_02 3:05

It's interesting. I we grew up I grew up in New York, and my my family, my my father and his side of the family was is Italian. My mother and her side of the family w uh was Scottish, like straight off the boat. And in fact, she immigrated here when she was in her teens. And so my on my father's side, they were raised as Roman Catholics. On my mother's side, we were raised as Anglican Catholics. And there really wasn't I didn't know anything different. I mean, they called it the Episcopal Church, but it was Anglican Catholic. And I didn't really know I didn't know anything different, right? We just knew about the Roman Catholics and that's what they do over there, but not realizing how similar the Anglican Catholic the Episcopal Church is, especially High Episcopal, which was what we were in involved in, um, in the Anglican Catholic Church. So, and it wasn't until I actually joined the Marines until later on that I mean if you ever want to find faith, you usually find it in the military, right? Like I went to the boot camp, boot camp was awful, and everybody who was anybody kind of wanted to go to church just because you got to break. If nothing else, for an hour, you just gotta break. And and for me, faith was always played a role for us, but I never really felt moved by my faith. And it was, and and this isn't meant to be an indictment of any particular faith or anything like that. I'm not not here to to say Anglican Catholic Catholicism was good or bad or whatever. It just I was it was very corporate, right, for me. Like I just kind of knew, like, okay, we go in, we do this, this is what then this is, and then after that, you do this, right? It was very the liturgy between Anglican Catholic and Roman Catholic are very, very similar. So for me, I I that was kind of what I grew up in. So when I went to boot camp, and now I'm on my own doing my own thing. I went to the they were like, okay, where am I Catholics? Well, I didn't really identify as Catholic, it was episcopal. So we're like, where am I Catholics? So all the Catholics went over there, and where they're Protestants, okay, you go over there. So I got shepherded into a a Baptist style. Um we didn't, it wasn't called a mass, it was just basically this preaching. I was like, oh my gosh, is is this is this guy a football coach? Like, I didn't know what I was in for, right? This is in, you know, um, you know, this is in um Beaufort, South Carolina. So I was like, holy crap, like what is happening here, right? This is not church. Um, but it was it was it was a lot. So I ended up going to the um Roman Catholic Mass, which I felt much more comfortable with, right? I just I was like, oh, this is recognizable. I know what we're doing. We, you know, we go and so anyway, that was kind of my journey along and and I stayed on that journey for most of my life, in fact. I it was, you know, I would go to mass, I would go to you know, wherever I was in the world. Um, I didn't really have a Bible, I didn't really read the Bible because that's kind of not what we did. You know, like the Bible was in church and it was up front, and like we did that, like we just it's we didn't read the Bible, we had a Bible home, we just never read it. So it was interesting. So that was a kind of my my beginning. So I always had a solid foundation in in God in church, but I cannot say that I was godly, certainly wasn't Christ-like in in that aspect at all. And I never really understood the the connection between God and Christ, like because our church never really made a connection to Christ. It was always about God and then kind of made references to Jesus, but it was always like God, but they kind of was like Jesus was just something different. And I never I just couldn't make that rec, you know, that reconciliation. Um and and I will fully take ownership of that, you know, because I'm not like I really was all that interested. It was just kind of going and checking the box and doing that thing. Well, later on in life, I you know, I had not been married, I would was um had a series of relationships on and off, things like that. Well, I ended up meeting this woman who is now my wife, and my bride and I, we um she know we would go to church and we went to church and she's she rem I remember her asking when we went to this Episcopal church here in town, and she's like, Where are the Bibles at? And I'm like, What do you mean where are the Bibles at? Like the Bible's up front, like it's this big golden book, you know, like they read from and you know they they hold it up and like the whole thing, right? They make the big entrance with the with the word of the word of Christ and the gospel. And that was I was very confused by why she asked that. And she says, Well, you know, I'm used to, and then she kept saying, Well, I go to a Christian church. And I'm like, Well, why would you say a Christian church when it's all based on the teachings of Christ, right? But then I recog recognized the difference between evangelical and you know, non-evangelical, I guess what what you want to say, like a more you know, Bible-based type church versus not, right? So I don't know how to say this the right way. So I'm hoping that your listeners will grace because I don't know how to describe this, right? And I'm certainly not no, you know, theologian. Um, so in any event, um, you know, my my faith really started to grow when things in our family really started to fall apart. And yes, we went to church, we got married in church, but I think that God was probably the furthest thing from our relationship. And it was in 2016 and 2017 where things we'd been married for a number of years. I had um, you know, we we had uh two children at the time. They were not of my biology, but they're my kids. Like we I adopted them, they're my boys, they're you know, and I say that because they're older, right? So they're right now they're 20 and uh 17, but we've only we've been married 11 years. So, but they're my kids. They're they're my boys, they're my kids, they have my name. And um, and I've been in their life since they were three and five. We were doing pretty much our own thing at that point, you know. I wasn't even living at home because things were just so bad. I didn't even want to go home most of the time. I would just stay and sleep at my office. And um, and I'll tell you what, if you really want to find God, you know, they say they find it in the bottom of a foxhole or uh, you know, in prison or or something like that. But I'll tell you, when you're in a bad marriage, I I'm telling you, and and it was just it ever we fought about everything. If I said the sky was blue, she'd say it was pink, and we would fight about that. I mean, it was just it was so much hurt and um and betrayal and all of the things that were going on, and it's not it was not let me just make make this clear. It was 100% me and 100% her giving 100% of nothing good, and I will one I will 100% own my part of it, and she has owned 100% her part of it, and we were out doing our own thing and everything that that means, okay. So we'll just kind of leave that there, but not not in a great way, and it certainly was not a great period of my life that I'm super proud of, but it did bring us closer to God, and it was interesting because how people show up in your life during the time when things were really truly at our worst, and I knew she wasn't sleeping much, and you know, she got ended up getting fired from her job, and just things were just circling pretty quick. And this woman who called me, and I remember this woman, and I and I kind of posted on social media that hey, we're we're kind of we're kind of done. I ended up post I ended up removing all of her photos, like, hey, we're you know, we're kind of at the end of this. Thanks, everybody. And there was a couple few people, very few. All the others are saying thoughts and prayers, right? The people who never think or pray, right? But you know, the people saying the thoughts and prayers thing. But there was an ardent few, and they were they were they were Christians that said to me, do not give up. Do not give up. And there's this one woman, um, her name's Kathy. And Kathy was a devout Christian, and she's one of these people that you really don't ever want to take a phone call from. Just because everything with her is a fight. Every like she's just a very, very strong-willed individual, and I adore her for it, but she at this point in time I just didn't need that, right? And she showed up in a way I never ever expected her to. And God used her as a vessel in that moment and asked me a series of questions, asked me, you know, some things, gave me some really good advice, and she and and and that was it. And that was a thing that she said, you know, she gave me some uh some other pieces of advice, like, you know, um, start going to church, start listening to church, start praying together, you know, start, you know, if you're not living at home, that needs to change immediately. Don't take advice from non-Christian, non-married people right now, right? Like, I mean, she gave me some really good advice. And that right there, and the and the the people that God brought into my life, where it's not coincidence, it was providence.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

Amen.

SPEAKER_02 12:43

And during that period of time where we not only got to the other side of it, and now keep in mind when I walked into the house for the first time, you know, for the first time, I walked into a situation that's not worth repeating, but it was it was it was, you know, I didn't care. I didn't care what was going on. I didn't care what happened, and whatever. And I walked in, I said, listen, I don't care what happened, I hear what's I hear, I care what's going on from here forward, right? And I'm just letting you know that I'm not leaving this marriage until I'm effing dead. And I I'm bleeping it on purpose, okay? Right. I was very clear about what I was about, and and of course it was all bluster, and she said, I had no reason to believe me. And I said, okay, we're gonna pray and we're gonna make this happen. So we did, and for the next week we had very, very direct, very clear, probably the ugliest conversations that a married couple can have. But for the first time, they may have been ugly, but they were not venomous, and that's a big difference. And that's that's been the start of my journey.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

Wow, I love that. This is a podcast where I'm trying to help men, you know, step up and lead. What you showed there in in your despair, in your moment of decision, was leadership. You you went to your wife and said, This is what we need to do. And you used God to do that, because that's such an awesome story. So while that was going on, were you in business? Because is what you do now as a strategist, which we'll we'll get into that in a minute.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

Yeah, I I I've been in business for most of my I mean most of my professional career. Um I've been in business for myself. And um but you know, I can tell you that summer I didn't get much work done, you know, just because there I was so distracted by the sin in my life, the sin that slows us down, the sin that that that binds us all. And it's you know, it's so weird that people have this uh weird relationship with the word sin, and it's just like, you know, just it's it's almost it's like that's what the that's what the Bible thumpers, you know, that's the word that the Bible thumpers use. And it's it it shouldn't be. It should be much more normalized, and not in a way where you're punching Jesus into someone's mouth, but just say, listen, man, I have a I have people who've come to me and in my work as a strategist, and I like, and and I'm careful where I do this because right now Christianity is very much under attack, but I also need to make sure that I'm showing up in the way, the best way for people. And sometimes they have a bad relationship with church and religion and all the things, right? So I show up the best way that I can for them, but my avatar, the people I like working with the most, if I'm truly honest, it's Christian married couples who have businesses that have kids at home. Right. And the reason for that is because I know all those problems, right? I know what it's like to struggle in my faith. I know what it's like to struggle in my marriage and with my ch with my children, and having adopted children, right? And you know, and we built one from a kit, right? Like we're now we've got a three-year-old. So I'm like, feel like I'm at parenting 501 right now. Ask me anything, right?

SPEAKER_03 16:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

So we've got it all, and I feel like, you know, having and stepping into it, I really do appreciate you recognizing that as leadership, because I mean, I'll tell you, that was the hardest thing to do was to set aside my own need to be right and my own ego so I could surrender to God and just give this to him and say, Listen, God, I can't do this. And and that's what happened. And then that moment, I you know, I walked in, I said, This is what's gonna happen. I'm gonna pray with you, and then we're just gonna lay together. And we did, and that was it, it was tenuous, but it was the beginning of healing. So it sucked, but it was it was it was necessary. Um, I don't say I want to go through it again, right? But very much worth it.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Yeah, that I that's where why a lot of men don't step up because it takes courage, it takes boldness, it takes faith. What you did there when you spoke to your wife, that was a step of faith. You didn't know how she was gonna respond, you didn't know how she was gonna take it, but you you felt led in that moment to do that, you know, and I I appreciate that. Thanks. So in in your work as a strategist, what what brought you to where you're now helping more Christian businesses? Do you help everybody or do you just help Christian businesses?

SPEAKER_02 17:58

If they're not, if they're not like you know, if they're not checking the box as a Christian, um, you know, have I worked with people of other faiths? Yes, I have. To me, it's important that they have faith. I'm not gonna say, well, you're wrong because, right? Because I can only go by my own convictions, right? And if they feel led to have other conversations around that, but they I'm not I'm not gonna hide it. I'm not gonna say, like, I had a Muslim that that worked with me, and I said, Hey, look, I just want to let you know, is this gonna be a problem that I'm a Christian and you're a Muslim? And he says, dude, we are so much closer than we're farther apart. And I was like, Okay, like, you know, and he's and and he his words, right? And I was like, okay. And and we talked about God from time to time, but it wasn't um, you know, it's at some point he recognized he recognized and he and I respected his faith, and and we didn't get into it too much, but generally when I work with with people who at least have a foundation in God, even if it's not necessarily a center for them, it allows me opportunities, especially because I'm a life and business strategist who likes to work with business owners. I'm not a business coach, although I use and employ the tools of a business coach from time to time. Right? I'm not a marriage counselor, although I use and employ things that I've learned that I have used in my own marriage. I'm not giving them marriage advice. I'll just say, hey, look, I can't tell you what to do. This is what worked for me. Right? Yeah. And that's where it starts to bring in and circle those conversations, like, hey, if you've got problems with your kids, hey, this is something that I have done. And I certainly do not know how to have that figured out, right? But our kids are good kids. They really are. And they're doing, they're doing well. They're making their mistakes, they're they're they're engaging in their lives, they're doing the best they can with what they have. Were we the best parents? No, because they were living going through the mess that we were bringing home, right? But they are good, you know, they are good kids and hopefully didn't mess them up too badly. But that's the those all those life situations that come around, give me that opportunity to have the relationship or have the trust with them to say, can I can I share with you with my faith a little bit on this? And they rarely don't say yes, right? I don't think it I don't think anybody ever has. And I share the this is why it's important for me to bring prayer into the business and ask God for advice. And when I have done that meaningfully and have asked him specifically, hey God, I am made of questions right now. I don't even know the question to ask you, right? Can you help me here? And and I will say, like, my faith, it's so funny because I feel like my faith is so authentic because I've never had like a and I'm I'm just gonna tell you right now, I do not quote scripture scripture very well. I just kind of know the Bible because I read it, right? But I'm not like I never had this Paul experience on the road to Damascus. I was like, you know, I've never had that, right? And I'm kind of glad I haven't because I don't know that I would be able to handle it as well as Paul did. But but that that for me, it's always been these whispers, it's always been these ideas, it's always been the just, hey, why don't you give this a try? I'm like, hey, yeah, okay. And of course, you know, in the early days, I'm always like, hey, I came up with this really good idea, right? Right, for you. Right? I'm taking all the credit. But now I realize where it's coming from. And that whisper and that nudge and that reminder and that, hey, by the way, and that and and the protections that are being offered for me so I can stay focused. Um, it does not go unnoticed. So I think those conversations that I can have, whether it's about strictly a business thing or strictly a non business thing being experienced by a business owner, um, or even just a person that's just struggling. Struggling in this moment, you know, I can I feel like I can always bring that back to my relationship with Christ.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

Yeah. For guys that uh are a little more like me, I've heard the term strategist, but I don't know exactly what it is. Most of the time it's either a life coach or a business coach. They call themselves coaches. You call yourself a strategist. What is the difference?

SPEAKER_02 22:25

I you kind of just explained it, but Yeah, it's a great question. And it's so a a coach is probably a little bit more limited in and I'm painting this with a very broad brush, so I'm not gonna want to get hate mail from a bunch of coaches all of a sudden. But coaches tend to be a little bit more um, they ask a lot of questions and they really truly believe fundamentally that the answer lies best within the individual, which I also agree, right? I think a lot of times if you're asking a lot of the right questions, the question the the the the it's a there comes with a fundamental belief that the that the knowledge is already inside that person, it just kind of needs to be brought out. And and I also believe, and this is my truth, that a coach also brings with them a certain degree of accountability. So I don't know if you were in sports in high school, but you did not show up late to practice, right? You were on the wrestling team and it's just it was music for me, but same thing. Same thing though, right? Same thing, like just start playing chords until I get tired. You're like, really? I don't really want to do this, right? Start cleaning up, you're like, you know, and that's the sort of thing, like start running laps until I get tired. And and that's the thing that that I I also feel like a lot of people who refer to themselves as coaches aren't because they they don't bring that measure of accountability to others. And that's really what I believe, like a lot of people maybe have knowledge, but they don't necessarily bring um bring the accountability. So that's for me. Now there are a lot of coaches who are very smart and have lots of different aspects. You know, they bring knowledge to the table, of course. Um, they they kind of bring in their own knowledge, and that's where it starts to cross over between consultant and and coach. But as a strategist, I employ very specific techniques which which sometimes looks like consulting, sometimes looks like teaching and educating, and sometimes looks like coaching. It's just it from a strat from a strategic perspective, just just think about clearing off a metaphorical table and putting together a battle plan based on whatever assets you have at the time. So you and to do that, you have to really know everything. You have to kind of know all aspects of that. And there's a lot of coaches who kind of don't wander into the personal aspect of it because, like, nope, I'm just a business coach. You know, if you need to talk about personal stuff, you go get a marriage counselor, you go get someone else that's gonna handle you with that. Um, I will delve a little bit further deeper into that, but I still will say I really do think you guys need to visit with a marriage counselor or talk to a you know a priest or a, you know, uh or whatever, right? Like you know, preacher or someone like like there's specialists, you know, you need to talk to a specialized tax accountant, you need to talk to an uh, you know, a patent attorney, right? Because I, as a strategist, I know a lot of things about a lot of things, but I also know where my limits are. So from so it it does sound a little bit like I'm a little bit of a consultant, a little bit of a coach, a little bit of a of a guru, a little bit of an educator. Um, but as a strategist, what I do is now once I know their personal vision, then all roads will lead to that personal vision. And that's probably the biggest reason why I'm so focused on Christ. Um it was a wonderful book. I'm I'm gonna blank on the name, but it was uh written by um, or it was a book called Visioneering, and it's an older book, it was written in 1999. And the the the guy's name will come under me in a second. But but he really recognized the the importance of having a vision, but having a vision that is God ordained, not just, you know, well, you know, if I had a vision, we'd all, you know, you you might not you might live like a rap star, right? Which is not great, right? And may not necessarily want to be, you know, something that would be Christ-like. But when you have a God-ordained vision, this is something that just doesn't go away. And I think that when you have that, when I when I recognize people and what I refer to as the Viper methodology, the V for Viper is vision. And and it starts with personal vision first, business vision second. And because if you only ever create a business vision, then all you're ever going to do is work toward the business. And I'm just letting you know, like when you when you create a business vision without ever creating a personal vision, you end up creating a life that exists to serve the business. And and and that's where you start to get people who, you know, they they they say they have faith, but man, you see their business dealings and you're like, really? Like, stop saying you have faith and stop saying you're a Christian because you're making the rest of us look bad, you know. I mean, I'm saying that somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but my goodness, like it that that's that's why I would say, you know, create that personal vision, but create that get that personal vision in coordination with God.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

Yeah. So when it comes to and if I read up a little bit on the the Viper framework thing, um, you you talk about structure as a spiritual discipline. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_02 27:28

So yeah, right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

So there's So how do the systems create space? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

Right. So there's vision and then infrastructure. So the Viper methodology, just the acronym is vision, infrastructure, process, execution, and reporting.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

Yeah, and do you you see that as a spiritual discipline?

SPEAKER_02 27:46

That's a great question. I don't know that I've ever been asked that. Um I certainly think the vision part is. I think I certainly think the vision piece of that is um, so for me. Yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

For for me, I had to put a system in place for my spiritual disciplines. When I wake up in the morning, I had to create a system like I go do this, I make my coffee, I sit down at I put my Bible on the table before I go to bed at night. I make my coffee, I sit down at the table, so I know the first thing that I do is read my Bible. I've been doing it for five years now. But I had to create that system that I call a spiritual discipline. So I guess what I'm asking, you know, that's why I'm asking if like your framework is like a spiritual discipline. And how you know, this do you create systems to help people reach the the goal, you know, the battle plan, or there's systems in place that help businesses with that.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

Yeah, you know, there's there were two books that was written by um uh David Stewart. Um he is a um he's a I think he's the richest uh black man in the United States. Um and he's written two different books, and he is a billionaire, right? Like like a like a legit billionaire. And um he is man, uh the books that he wrote were just so phenomenal. And uh his his most uh popular book or his first book was Doing Business by the Good Book, and it was 52 disciplines. And um the book, um, in fact, I just got done reading The Leadership by the Good Book, which was really spoke to the discipline that he brought that that he brings to the table and in these different spiritual disciplines. And it's interesting because like right now Charlie Kirk is a big it's a big hot button thing for Christians. And it was interesting because what Charlie what people don't know about Charlie Kirk is he ran a you know, I mean he created a hundred million dollar organization. Right? I mean I think it I think that's the numbers on that, right? But no one really talks about that. And the reason why is because like he didn't make business and bring God into it. He had God in his life and brought business into that. He brought everything right into his relationship with God. That's what that was was first, second, and third in his life, right? And it was interesting because like I and I I didn't necessarily appreciate his approach um and certainly didn't agree with everything he said. Um, but but you you you gotta admire him for his faith. And I think that when you have that as your structure, like that becomes the default. Um, I like, you know, in in in my world, I would call that habit stacking, right? Or you're inserting basically a link into a habit chain, right? So you you know you're gonna get up in the morning, God willing. And if you get up, your feet hit the floor, the Bible's in front of you, right? It's no different than you know, if you were going to do that and then you you're gonna go running, right? So you put the Bible on top of your running shoes, right? Like something along those lines. But that's so for me, that the spiritual discipline, I I don't I think the vision piece for me is probably that that first link in the chain for the habit stack. Because for me, the first thing that I do, I get up in the morning I and I leave pretty early and I come to the office, and that's the time that I spend in prayer and reflection and reading the Bible. And then wherever I open the Bible to that particular day right now, um I um I think I left off in Mark, ironically enough. But I was reading um no, it was a John. Sorry. So I was reading in John and Mark's a great book, though. Oh, it's wonderful. And that was the thing. I I I and um reading right now, I think it was John 6, and again, it please it don't don't don't tell me I was wrong. Yeah, like don't send me emails.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

Don't worry, don't worry. Right? But I'm the same. Uh I've been reading the Bible a long time, but I don't have a great memory.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

So yeah, but it was so wonderful because I was reading that, and it was interesting that I got caught up in that God doesn't God doesn't judge, he leaves judgment to the sun. And it's said it twice in John 6, and I was like, how did I miss this? Right? How did I miss this? I've read this a number of times, but how did I miss this piece? Well, I was ready to see it, right? So it it's just kind of interesting how these things come along, but I do this in the morning when I'm the sharpest, it's my best energy of the day, and I know that I'm gonna get it done. And I wait for my coffee to brew in the office, and you know, and as soon as it's done, I spent I'm not dogmatic about it. I mean, I spend as much time as I feel I'm ready for. Sometimes it's just for a few minutes and sometimes it's longer. Um, and then I spend some time in prayer as best as I can do, and uh, and then I start my day. And I feel like that foundation has been good for me. So, but for me, that's part of my personal vision. And um, I remember a time where I would be embarrassed to be seen walking around and carrying a Bible. Now I have no reason to be, I have no reason to be ashamed. I have no reason to be embarrassed, I have no fear of ridicule because I know my faith.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Yeah, I you so I you talked a lot on your uh profile, I saw where you talked a lot about the the hustle culture, you know, the daily grind. You know, yeah, people get burned out easy. I myself, I'm a little bit of a go-getter. When I started this podcast, I I found myself every day diving into content, trying to figure out how to start it. And once I got started, like I have to, again, this is discipline, I have to put disciplines in place so I'm not spending all my time doing this outside of my job because I also have a ministry, I have a family, I have grandkids and kids to, you know, mentor. And how does how does a person most business people are pretty high-driven people, you know, they're the A-type, they're go-getters. How do you teach people to not get too busy with reaching the vision while you know staying connected and not overdoing it?

SPEAKER_02 34:25

Yeah, it's a it's a great question, and that's that's the question, right? Because as Americans, we feel like, you know, we're taught to fill our calendars as much as we possibly can, and you're you're shuffling kids from you know, school to dance practice to soccer practice to baseball practice, and you know, you're running between three different games with, you know, four different kids, and and it's that's that's that's hurry culture, that's hustle culture, right? And I feel that when you're really clear about your relationships, because I I I think that we often forget that God wants us to be together and wants us to have relationships. And this is where this is where there's that confusion of now versus next. I think the devil dangles next in front of us all the time and never allows us to focus on now. So when you stop and think about it, uh it was there was a um a book, I I can't remember the name of it. Um the book uh The Life You've Always Wanted, I think, is what it's called by John John Orton, maybe. Um hilarious. The dude's hilarious. Because the funny thing was he was he's just so authentic in his faith. And he recognized that the opposite of you know what what destroys love isn't hate. What destroys love is hurry. Hurry is the is what destroys love, right? Like love takes time. Love takes time to develop and nurture. You can't rush growing a rose, you can't rush growing crops, right? This takes effort and love and time. And when you're trying to grow a relationship, you can't do that when you're always running from one thing to the next. Now, for some people it works, but I'm saying that that when those storms come, like they came in our life and we were under full attack, we didn't need more hustle. We needed, we didn't need more hurry. We needed to slow down. We needed to pull in all the plants and get the cats inside and close the windows, and you know, like we were in a storm, and we're outside in the you know, in the lawn looking at the at the funnel cloud forming, right? Like that's not what you do. You need to get in and gather and huddle. And that's what we did is we slowed down and recognized that, okay, yeah, you can do that for a stretch, but you also need to slow down and for a stretch. And you this is why the Sabbath was so important. And and I and I'll be honest with you, I don't, I'm not, I don't practice the Sabbath probably the perfect way, right? But I always try to make time, you know, for our Sundays where I don't spend time in work. And and I and I'm a pensive kind of guy. Like for me, I enjoy sitting and thinking and writing and you know, and and that that's something that that is relaxing to me. That's that's that's good for my brain, right? Um, you know, I read about a book every six, five to six days, right? So sometimes some they're a little bit slower, slower, but you know, but I love doing that and I love going back through this, those sorts of things. But again, when there's times where I just need to slow down, sometimes I just sit. And and right now, which it's so fun with our kid, you know, with with our kids, you know, the 20-year-old right now, he's kind of out doing his own thing right now. Um, you know, but our 17-year-old, our three-year-old, just seeing the bond develop between them because we take time, because we were allowing that to develop, I think that is because I'm so vision focused. Because I know I have a vision for what I want my life to look like. I have a vision for what I want my marriage to look like. I have a vision, which, which by the way, I've shared with my wife. And when we were sharing with one another, hey, I really need this from you. And she would say, Hey, I really need this from you. And I'm like, Okay, I can do that, right? And when, and when there was violations, because we're always gonna mess up in some ways, we can instantly go back to grace and try to afford some grace and say, okay, we're gonna make mistakes. Can we, can we get to grace? Can we get back to grace, right? Can we repent and move back forward? I'm I I use that word repent because again, it's like, hey, let's let's pretend, let's, let's not pretend it didn't happen, but let's move forward from it, right? Let's not dwell on the past, right? Because the ego dwells on the past, right? And that's where that's where we get stuck. So I think that the to answer your question is I think when you're vision focused and you're focused on what you want your relationship with your wife to look like, with your kids to look like, with you know, um, with with God, what do you want your relationship with God to look like? You know, and you can start to prey on those sorts of things, I think that's when you really start to recognize that that one more email or that one more thing that you're going to do isn't really in alignment with your vision because the work's always going to be there.

SPEAKER_01 39:23

Yeah. So how do how do you teach business Christian entrepreneurs this practically? You know, because I'm a I'm a guy on a podcast who talks a lot and I expect people to listen. And you know, if they listen, they'll they'll see a change, they'll see a difference. But when I work one-on-one with someone, which I don't do a whole lot, but I have people in my church that I disciple. When I sit down with them and have a coffee, and then it's you know, they want to get in shape. I say, hey, let's go running Saturday morning, meet me at seven o'clock. That's a practical step. Then they start seeing the change. So how how do you teach Christian entrepreneurs how to avoid business busyness and you know to stay focused on their vision without overdoing it?

SPEAKER_02 40:18

Well, let me ask you. Let's say a man comes to you and he's 300 pounds overweight. Would you ask him to go running on Saturday morning?

SPEAKER_01 40:28

No.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

Okay. You would meet him where he's at, right?

SPEAKER_01 40:32

Right.

SPEAKER_02 40:32

Right? Hey, why don't you and me, why don't we go for a walk Saturday morning? Right? Exactly. Right? You meet him where he's at. So for me to come in and start, again, punching him in the mouth with Jesus isn't gonna work, right? You gotta meet him where they're at. So a lot of times, usually the first, you know, handful of sessions, I'm getting to know them. And and the thing is, like, I have to get them to trust me. And and I need to be able to trust them a little bit because I share a lot of stuff with with them about my personal life. Um, and some of it's, you know, intimate details that I don't necessarily want the world to know, but you know, certain things that I'll share with them because it is important that they understand, hey, I'm in this, I'm in this with you, that I don't have it all figured out either, but I'm doing the best I can. And maybe I'm 17% of the way in and you're 3%, and I might be able to at least guide you, right? So I certainly can't say that I'm 100% on anything in life, but that, you know, I'm at least further along in some areas, you know, and for for some people. And they're ahead of me in other areas, right? So they teach me, which is also why I really enjoy the work that I do. But you but meeting them where they're at first and foremost, if they're coming to me because they're their businesses dying on the vine because they don't have, they don't know, they don't know how to operate efficiently, or they don't have they have a lead generation problem, or they have a marketing problem or an advertising problem, or they've got a personnel problem because their core values are so messed up, you know, or they've got an accounting issue, like those are the four core functions of business: lead generation, sales, operations, accounting. I know that I can go to them and and and with a lot of tools in my toolbox, help them in all four of those areas. Any generally anything that they bring to me, with with few exceptions, I can I can help them. But when and and it's really kind of hard, it's like think it's like the metaphorical, like, hey, we're you know, you and I are on a on a ship going across the Pacific Ocean and it gets hit with a torpedo, and you know, everybody's trying to push mattresses up against the right and to keep the water out and everything else. And uh, you know, and then you know, and I run up to you and say, Hey Mark, you know, we're out of lettuce. Okay, right? Like, it's like getting shot in the chest and like, hey Mark, have you eaten enough broccoli today? Like, pretty sure that's not gonna matter right now, right? Yeah. So you have to meet them where they're at. So I think that's probably one of the best things that I do, but I also know when to seed. And I will seed certain things. And I have a really good memory for conversations. So I will know like when I've seeded certain things, and and I also take notes too, but that way I know, like, hey, I've seeded this or I've talked about this before. And sometimes when I bring it back around and say, hey, I know I've talked about this, or I know I mentioned it in the past. Maybe we need to have a long little bit longer conversation about this now. Because now they've had time to ruminate on it. Now they're like, now they're ready for it. And that could be anything, like it could be if I know that they've got a lead gen problem, but right now there's someone they need to let go, right? Because they're so toxic, right? So, you know, it's it's all those different aspects of a life. But I always try to do that, you know, on things that they're ready for. And there's just certain people that they're not ready for the religious conversation, and that's okay, you know, but they know my faith and they know when they're ready to have that conversation. Um, you know, I I've since Learned, and this was I the in the the visioneering book, and the Andy Stanley, I think is the name, the guy's name, the the author. Um, but in visioneering, he starts talking about, you know, God, please give me the opportunity to pray for them, you know, and give me the opportunity to pray with them. And and and God give me the opportunity to have the conversations with them when they're ready. And I think that's where we need to be ready to have those conversations, but do it in a way that's not holding people's heads underwater, right? That's you know, it's sales 101, right? It's not like punching people in the mouth until they're holding their head underwater until they say yes. It's meeting them where they're at and saying, well, tell me what, tell me what your relationship with faith is like right now. And when they can have that conversation, you're like, okay, yeah, I'm I'm I'm open to I'm I'm open to it, right? And then and then you invite them and say, hey, look, I'm I'm happy to pray with you. I'm happy to doesn't have to be weird, doesn't that be anything like that? And this is the interesting thing. So I'm a Marine, okay, and I'm on my best behavior here, right? And I have sometimes have a pretty loose tongue, okay? Not on not on per on per I mean, I do it on purpose. I guess that's just kind of the way I think, but I'm doing my best because my wife's like, hey, we really need to kind of clean up our language. I'm like, okay, I'm doing my best, right? But this was the interesting thing, and this is this was what was really interesting when my my my really, really good friend, her name's Robin, she is undeniable in her faith. I mean, she talk about a person that wears it on her sleeve, and she is, you know, I I was really struggling with this, you know, getting baptized and and like this this whole, you know, going down this other this path of evangelical type faith. And I was like, I just, I don't know, I'm really struggling with this. You know, I feel like, you know, most of the I see a lot of these Christian men, they talk real softly and they wear sweater vests and they, you know, they're always on their best behavior. And I'm like, I'm not that. I like I'm not that at all. I would be so inauthentic. People would wonder if I had a seizure, right? So, and she said something to me that I never ever forgot. And she says, Don't you understand? God made you this way. Like God made you the way you are. Yeah, probably you could probably drop a few less, you know, inflammatory words. But the thing is, you can reach someone that I would never be able to reach. Absolutely. And I would be able to reach someone that you would never be able to reach. That's why God needs both of us. And I'm getting goosebumps thinking about that. Because I was like, oh my, like, oh, I can do that. I can absolutely do that, right? No, do it in a respectful way. No, don't, you know, don't you don't need to have that kind of language when you're when you're praising God, you know, in the same sentence. But I'm saying, like, these are the sorts of things that I can do, and I can do it and talk about my my faith authentically. And I'm not always gonna get it right, but I can at least speak about my my faith authentically and say, look, I struggle too. The way you sin and the way I sin is no different. Like the way I sin isn't any better than the way you sin, right? Right. So let's let's have a conversation and see how we can do that. So meeting them where they're at, I think, to answer your question is probably the best thing that I've learned how to do and do it without feeling letting them feel judged.

SPEAKER_01 47:14

Yeah, that that's a great answer. I I totally uh align with that, you know, the men part of what we're doing on this podcast here, and there's many other Christian podcasts for men trying to get men to step up. Uh a person I would recommend that you listen to, and you'll see how uh a Christian man is a little different than your normal soft person talking and sweater vest person is Joby Martin. I don't know if you've heard of him, but he's he's he's very popular online. What's his name? Joby Martin.

SPEAKER_02 47:51

Joby Martin? I have not heard him.

SPEAKER_01 47:52

Yeah, yeah, you should look him up. He's a he's a great, great man of God.

SPEAKER_03 47:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

We're starting to bump up a time, I'll bump up against time a little bit, and I want to have people, you know, know where they can reach out to you if they're interested in working with you. But before we do that, there's a question that I ask every man that comes on the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 48:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:11

It's David. I know you said you've read the Bible through, but you know, it's hard to memorize it all. Yeah. Yeah. David, after he slew Goliath, Saul got jealous and was trying to kill him. So David ran to the cave of Adulum. While he was in that cave, men came to him, disgruntled, disheartened, discouraged. Those men, eventually, through David's leadership and being around David, became David's mighty men. When David started becoming king, taking over the kingdom, they were David's mighty men. So somehow he inspired them, said something to them. Modern day, you have a group of men in front of you, disheartened, discouraged, disgruntled, looking for leadership, direction, inspiration. What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_02 49:17

Set aside your ego. Set aside your ego. And see God and everything you do.

SPEAKER_01 49:25

Amen. Awesome. Straight to the point. I love it. So where can uh people connect with you? And you know, reach out to you if they want to with you.

SPEAKER_02 49:40

Yeah, if they're if they're interested in just having a you know connection, I'm I'm pretty open on social media. Please not LinkedIn. I get so many people trying to sell me in like health insurance. Like, I'm a pretty healthy young guy still. Like, I don't know that I need as much health insurance as I'm trying to be sold. Oh my gosh, like that and dental insurance. Like, am I teeth that bad? I don't think they're that bad, but um anyway, no, um, but any of the social medias like Instagram or Facebook, you're welcome to reach out to me. And I'm and I'll have conversations with with anybody, um, especially if they're struggling. I I again I I I am getting it's interesting the the number of people that God are starting to bring into my life, and I and I do have to start recognizing like you know, the um, you know, the number of people that are coming in. And and when you start, I think it was a conversation and maybe in acts where you know the the the the 12 or like waiting tables or something along those lines, I was like, oh, they started they started delegating because they recognized you know that their what their true gifts are. And I'm always oh I'm I hope I don't ever get so busy that I can't ever at least have a conversation with someone, even if it's just on Messenger. But um, if you are in interested in a bit from a business context, uh interested in working, probably strategicboardroom.com is the best way to reach out. Um but again on the social media, Facebook, Instagram, um, those are probably the two best mediums to reach out to me. And and I and I answer every message. So um, you know, I I do my very best. I sometimes I miss them because they come in, there's a lot that come in, but I always do my very best to reach out and you know, and I'll give and I'll always do my best to pour into folks. But um, but yeah, and I I don't I I again from that perspective, uh, I will do that until I until I can't. Because for me, I think that making someone feel that and remind them how important they are, that's part of my core values of one of one of the core values of strategic boardroom is creating legends. And I never want anybody to ever feel I know what it's like to feel slighted. And um, and sometimes I'm sure I do that unintentionally, but um the I uh but I but I always would I I always try to give grace and uh I would always ask for grace if I don't always get it right. So if I don't message back, message me again. Say hey man, what the heck? But uh that's probably the best way.

SPEAKER_01 52:04

Awesome, Mark. Thank you very much for coming on. If you ever want to come on again, you got something you want to share to men, just let me know.

SPEAKER_02 52:12

Yeah, I I I I think uh as my faith grows, if you had asked me this a year ago, I don't know that I would recognize the same person. So maybe check back with me in six, eight months and we'll uh and I'll be on the on the uh you know right now we're living with a three-year-old terrorist. So she is uh we're seeing we're having a lot of God conversations right now. Um so it's lots of prayers, that's for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:37

Yeah. Awesome. Thank you very much for coming on. God bless you. God bless. All right. Wasn't that a great conversation? If there's one thing I want you to take from this story, it's this God doesn't wait for you to be cleaned up before he starts rebuilding you. He meets you right where you are, even if that's your office floor. And that's exactly what we're gonna be talking about this next Valiant Monday. Transformation. Not the polished version that we like to post online, but the kind that starts in the dark, in the quiet, in the places we don't want anyone else to see. If this episode struck a chord with you, do me a favor. Subscribe. Subscribe, share it with another man who could use it. And please go on Apple and leave me a review. It helps more than you can imagine. And if you're looking for brothers to walk this out with, not just content, I have created a community on the school platform called the Cave of Adulum. And if you've listened to the podcast long enough, you know that's kind of my uh theme question that I ask every man. Come meet me in the Cave of Adulum. Let's become mighty men together. There is a link in the show notes for that, and there will also be a link for my YouTube channel if you're only following on audio once in a while. I'll do stuff on YouTube that I won't be doing on the audio the podcast platform. So click the link, and there's also going to be links for to connect with Mark below. So stay strong, stay valiant, keep forging your path, and be blessed.