I Wanted a Testimony Without Scars

I wanted a testimony without scars.

I wish I could tell you I made it through forty plus years of following God without betrayal, without hiding, without major failures… but that's not my story.

After sharing my testimony on a recent podcast interview, I found myself reflecting on my failures, my battle scars, and wishing my story looked different.

Then I felt the Holy Spirit remind me:

You almost never make it through battles without scars.

In this episode, we talk honestly about failure, shame, insecurity, spiritual growth, and why God still uses imperfect men.

Using Peter's failure and redemption, Proverbs 24:16, and personal testimony, this conversation is for Christian men who feel like they still have too much baggage, too many mistakes, or too many scars to be used by God.

Your scars may not be your disqualification.

They may be reminders of what God brought you through.

SHOW NOTES / BULLETS

In this episode:

Why I wished my testimony looked different

The danger of wanting a testimony built on consistency

Peter's public failure and God's redemption

How insecurity can hide ego underneath it

Proverbs 24:16 — the righteous rise again

Why your scars may become your testimony

 God uses imperfect men 

“Your scars are your altars.”

Join the brotherhood

https://www.skool.com/the-cave-of-adullum-1668/about

If this conversation encouraged you, share it with another man who might need to hear it.

And if you're trying to grow in faith, leadership, fatherhood, brotherhood, and becoming the man God has called you to be… you're in the right place.

Thanks for spending this time with me at The Valiant Forge.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I wanted a testimony without scars. I wish I could tell you that I made it through the last forty plus years as a great man of God who barely tripped up along the way. I wish I could tell you I made it through battles unscathed. But the truth is you almost never make it through battles without scars. And sometimes those scars become the testimony of what God has brought you through. I'm Mark Osborne, and this is the Valiant Forge where Christian men forge strength and purpose in Christ. I was a guest on a podcast the other night, and I had to tell my story again. And the next day I was reflecting on it, and I had this moment of regret thinking about the things that I've done, the mistakes that I've made. And I thought, man, I wish here I am, a man on a podcast trying to encourage other Christian men to step up and to level up in their faith and be better. And I have this story of all these failures. And I wish I could come on here in this podcast and say, I've been walking this journey for so long, and this is what I've learned. And I can call myself an expert in the faith. But I don't have that story. But I do have a story where I've been through some battles and I've come out with some scars on the other end. And those scars have actually become my testimony. My testimony consists of betraying the people I love the most. My testimony consists of seasons of hiding, years spent quietly in the background, thinking I was never enough to be used by God. I wish I could tell you the version that, you know, I gave my life to Jesus at 14 and I've been following him. I've been running hard after God for the last 40 plus years, but that's just not true. And while I was thinking about that, I felt like the Holy Spirit told me you never make you almost never make it through battles without scars. I would love to have a testimony built on consistency, a spotless track record. The kind of story where you could say, see, that's why God uses this man. But my story does not look like that. There were times in my journey where I humbly declined leadership because I I honestly didn't feel like I was enough to step up, but I made this false claim that I'm just not meant for that. I'm a follower, I'm not a leader. But my insecurity had ego hiding underneath it. And there are stories in the Bible similar to mine. Think about Peter. Bold, loudmouthed Peter, who always spoke first, who always spoke up. When Jesus said, Some of you are going to betray me. Peter was the first one to speak up. Lord, I will never betray you. But then what did Peter do? He denied Jesus three times publicly. And then the last time that he denied Jesus, it said Jesus looked at him from the cross. Imagine carrying that scar. Imagine the shame. Imagine believing, well, God can't use me now. But that's not Peter's story. God restores him, Jesus restores him. And then Peter became the man who started the church. Peter was the one who spoke in the book of Acts, and 3,000 people got saved when he spoke about Jesus Christ. The man who denied Jesus, the man who had the battle scars from all the things that he did wrong, but God still used him. That's redemption. Peter's failure wasn't the final word. God's redemption was. Again, I wanted a testimony without scars, but that's not how battles work. I'm not glorifying my failures. I'm not glorifying the mistakes I've made, the betrayals I've made. They are part of my story, though. And God is now using that story to touch others. When I was on that podcast the other night, the guy was starting to tear up and he messaged me afterwards, like your story touched me so deeply hearing how God redeemed you through all of that. And there, you know, because this is never about me. This is about God. God redeemed me. I'm not thankful for the wounds I've caused or the lessons I've had to learn the hard way, but I am thankful that God didn't waste the wreckage. Because testimony ultimately isn't about how flawless you've been. It's about the faithfulness of God inside of an imperfect story. And it reminds me of Proverbs 24, 6. For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again. Not if they fall, but when they fall. You still have to figure that out before God can use you. If that's you, I want to tell you something. That is not true. God will meet you where you are. God can use you as you are. The Bible says, come as you are. Give it to God. Let Him clean you up. And I'm not saying this as a man who's figured it out, figured it out. I am still figuring it out. I still fail daily. Here I am on a podcast trying to help Christian men grow in their faith and become better. And only reason that I can even do that is because I am growing in my faith. I am getting better, but I still am picking up scars along the way. I still have battles. And I'd never hardly ever make it through a battle unscathed. I still get wounds along the way. And then I find myself licking those wounds, but I know God's grace delivered me from them, and God's grace can continue to redeem me. In the Bible, they talk about they built these stones and all these places where God moved. Those are altars. Your scars are your altars. Your scars are your remembrance of what God has done for you. God is not looking for a perfect man. God uses imperfect men who are willing to keep walking with him. So if you've been sitting on the sidelines believing God can't use you because of your failures, because your testimony doesn't look the way you wish it did, don't stay there. If God can take a man like me who is still figuring this out, still getting scars, he can use you too. So tell me, are you a man who feels like you still have to figure some things out before you can start being used by God? Before you can start giving your heart to God, before you can start praying to God. Tell me in the comments what you're struggling with. I want to help you. I want to pray for you. I want to encourage you. This whole video, this whole podcast, is to encourage you. I'm encouraging myself. The Bible says to encourage yourself. David encouraged himself. I'm encouraging myself because I constantly going on podcasts as a guest now, and I'm constantly telling the story and I'm constantly remembering the altar. But I have to learn to not focus on my part of the story. I have to focus on what God has redeemed in that story, what God has done, not what I have done. Because if I look at what I have done, I'm going to regret. But if I look at what God has done, I'm going to be grateful. If conversations like this resonate with you, if you're trying to become the man that God has called you to be, that's what we do here. We talk honestly about faith, fatherhood, brotherhood, growth, battles, and becoming the men that God is shaping us into. On Thursdays, I do interview podcasts where guys come on and tell their testimonies, where guys talk about their failures, where they show their scars. So subscribe, listen to a Thursday episode. I have many in the queue back in the back. You can go back and listen to. That video is going to be popping up on the screen at the very end of this video. So click on that video and go and watch that if you feel like you struggle in that area. Stay strong, stay valiant, keep forging your path, and be blessed.