Talking all things CONFIDENCE 💫

Our first episode inside the recording studio 🎙️💖 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Hi everyone and welcome to DDI Dance Diaries, a space for our dance family where we talk all things dance, confidence, mindset, and everything in between. Whether you're a dancer, a dance parent or part of our DDI community, this is the behind-the-scenes look into the moments that shape not just dancers but people. Because here at DDI it's always been more than just dance. Hi everyone, and welcome to a very special episode of the DDI Dance Diadies. We are in Limelight Studios and we're shouting out. How nice is it? It's gorgeous. So pretty. Um I feel like we've levelled up. We have given it. We really have. We're not longer in the Jayku recorded on my phone. On the laptop. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:46

Nothing wrong with the JQ.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

But yeah, this is exciting. I feel like it's gonna be nice to just I don't know. Have a wee space to just do it all chat. Be able to hear it all. I love it. Um so before we start today, I wanted to talk about something that sits like at the heart of DDI, and it's about like what we are really about, basically. We are about not creating just amazing dancers, but creating amazing people. Um, and something that I've kind of been thinking about recently is how difficult it is to create confident dancers in today's world. Like social media is everywhere, it is, and it's so easy to compare.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 1:29

It is, it's like they're always coming in and being like, Oh, I'm on TikTok and I'm doing this, and they're like everybody is just yeah, comparing themselves, and it's just so difficult. I think it makes our job quite difficult as teachers, and um, I know from speaking to so many of my friends that are dance teachers, like everyone is struggling with it.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

It's also not just for the kids, that's something that I struggle with. Like, I'll see other schools or other coaches putting things out for them, and then it's how do I manage that in myself, and then seeing how I manage it in myself, how can I then pass on that skill set to the kids? Yeah, it's like not comparing, like, not comparing your day one to someone's like day 700. Yeah, do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 2:06

I think as well, it's hard like because it's like we are obviously not that old, but when we were we it's so different. Yeah, we're young, like totally when we've we've obviously we danced for years, and there's now like people have got individual dance accounts and they've got specific TikToks for this and Snapchat accounts and Instagram accounts, whereas it just wasn't as big when we were younger, so I feel like we were a wee bit more shielded from it now.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Even when we started DDI, like back in 2017, it was wasn't like this. No, no, it didn't. When you guys came to us as coaching um as athletes, like it wasn't like that. Like so it's something that we're trying to having to evolve with. Um, and obviously I'm really trying my best to to help coach you guys through, which then hopefully gets um feed down. Fed down.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

So also trying to keep them safe and reminding them, hey, don't put your address on like any social media stuff. Don't post people walking into my house and stuff like that. Okay, maybe don't post that part because that's probably not the safest. Um but yeah, it's just like being mindful of like keeping them safe, but also giving them the tools to succeed while keeping their mindset healthy without it becoming a oh well she does this and I don't do that, and that means that she's gonna score higher than me or in like that.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

So, like if I was to ask you what does a confident uh dancer look like to you, what would you say?

SPEAKER_00 3:24

I feel like it's somebody that knows their value and knows the next steps that they need to take in their dance journey and they're not comparing it to other people. They're very much looking at themselves and thinking, This is my goal, break that down. Where's the where's the 12 steps if I go from here? Where's the next step? If I go from there, where's the next step to take me along towards that goal? Rather than constantly looking at everybody else, having their fingers in 900 pies and trying to trying to do it all because if you do all of it, you'll not do one thing.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

The one thing you're looking towards. I think like following on from you, I think someone that's like resilient, yeah, has self-belief, like oh, I've maybe not got this yet, but I can do it. I have maybe not got they've got it straight away, but I've not. But if they keep practicing and have that confidence and self-belief in themselves, then they will.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Yeah. That's a swear word in our studio, isn't it? That it is. Can't if they say it or like not doing can't do it. Can't do it yet. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

But yet, exactly. It's a lot about reframing it, innit?

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Yeah, yeah, it definitely is. So, like, how do you think it's changed from when we were younger, Ash, like when we were dancers? Because it's like when further back the girls I feel like I don't ever remember not being a confident dancer, so like do you?

SPEAKER_00 4:36

Yeah, but I was never the best at my dancing. Yeah, like there was always when I was younger, there was always the big girls, and the big and like our school was a competitive school growing up, but it wasn't in the competition space that we compete in. Yeah, so it's quite different as well. Um, your results would change week on week, and we went to hundreds of competitions, and there was always there was like an advanced class, and you had to be invited to it, so it was it select people, so it was originally working to get into that, and then it was working to get into this, and then after that, it was like, right, and my goal is to get into dance college, like how do I then do that? And I knew that I wasn't doing enough ballet and I wasn't doing enough like foundational technical stuff, so then I started attending all those classes, and it was just like okay, how do I how do I meet the goals of what I want to do while still not being the best at the school? There was always uh girls that were bendier, faster, better skills, better places in their competitions and stuff, but a lot of them didn't go into dance college, and a lot of them don't compete, don't dance, don't teach, don't they're not untall in the community.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Yeah. But the difference is that you just always had that wee thing inside you that believed.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

Like I think that was something like I don't ever I was never the best, and even when we were at college, like we were never the best. But we were the best driven. Yeah, and we were always like we knew what we needed to do to get to where we wanted to be, and you knew that like nobody like I knew that nobody could tell me I couldn't do it. Like I would be like, watch me. Yeah, like not being arrogant, but like that's something that I really want to teach the kids that come into our studio because like there's so many like kids online now that are like just horrible to each other, and like it's easy for them to let other people get into their heads, do you know what I mean? And like as adults, obviously, that have experienced life, like we can be like, right, don't let that bother you, but it's difficult when you're a child and you've never cares, exactly. Yeah, absolutely. So, like if somebody said to you you can't do this, they're gonna believe you. Do you know what I mean? You're gonna believe them.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

I think that's took me till about now.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Yeah, until about last year, to be like, oh, I don't care about what everyone thinks this is me, this is my life. Yeah. I think that's something that's so important.

SPEAKER_03 6:39

Yeah. I think as you grow up as well, you you then choose who you want to surround yourself with. Exactly. As you get older, you can choose your people you know who bring brings you up and who dims your sparkle a bit, so you can kind of make that choice of they do say that you're the you're the reflection of the five people you surround yourself with.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Yes. Yeah. And um I took one from one of the little things that we went to before. Um, someone said, Why would you take um criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from? And I think that's so right. If I'm not gonna take um advice from you because I don't think you've got the knowledge to get me where I want to go, then why am I taking criticism from you?

SPEAKER_01 7:13

Yeah, yeah. And that's something that That's very true. Yeah, it's important.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

Yeah, absolutely. And like I think it takes it all back to like that trend that's on social media just now about how like not every dancer that walks through your door is gonna have a career in dance. So like I think it's our job to obviously when kids come through and they've got this amazing potential, we spot it and we're like that. Yeah, but for us it's like when they come in, like it's our job to make sure that they leave a better person that can handle what life throws at them, which is like this like transferable skills, absolutely like they're gonna get so much thrown at them in their adult life grown up, and it's our job to make sure that they can handle that, not by obviously like thrown at them in the studio, but you know what I mean? Like preparing them for it, and just obviously like I think it always comes back to like sometimes like if we get like a message from a mum being like, Oh, like she's came home really sad tonight because like you've said, like, oh, she can't do this, and we're like, no, no, we're trying to help our believe in ourselves, so we're trying to make sure that they that she knows that she can do it, and like it's trying to especially mental blocks. Like, I feel like we all really experience that, and we're in our roles, like when the kids have that block and it's our job to try and like push them past it, but sometimes it means like bringing them back a bit first, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 8:26

Yeah, um, so maybe saying, like, right, you're not ready for this just now, but you will do it, like I think we're really lucky that we've all come from quite different experiences, like everyone's got different knowledge of dance and with dance as well. So I think being able to reflect on your personal experiences is like I broke my arms at gymnastics and I had the biggest mental block going back. So I think when it comes to like working with kids, I find it quite easy to actually work with them on that because I've experienced that and I know how it feels to actually have that mental block that I can't do this. So I feel like being able to reflect on your own experiences to then actually give them advice, like, well, I've actually been in your situation, I totally understand why you're feeling that way. Like, let's try and get over that. So I think being able to do that is really important.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

I think, like, we were talking about with the transferable skills, like that piece of um content that we've all seen that's like 0.3% will go, bro. Yeah, but 70% of CEOs and people that are in boardrooms leading teams have done sports as kids, which means that those transferable skills are making a difference in the real world when they grow up. Like that's the kind of stuff that parents are paying for, they're not paying for them to come and learn a wee are we pirouette and a kickball change. The parents don't really care that much about that stuff. It's how can we make them confident? How can we give them skills that will handle like be able to handle themselves in the real world? Yeah, and um I feel like we get quite a lot of messages from parents that we do that quite well, and that's something that we're really proud of as a team. Yeah, um yeah, it's one of the things I'm most proud of of our team is how we like handle ourselves and teach them to handle themselves.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

So, what do you think is one thing that you do in your role to help with those things? Um, it's all one thing that we reframe it.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Reframing, yeah, that's good. Like we always like we'll hear, oh I can't do it, and we'll all go, yet. Like almost as a team, it's like yet. We don't need to tap scum, I know yet on that. Yes. Put it on my best. But yeah, um, I think we're all really good at that.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Yeah, yeah. I think it's really important. I think like sometimes it can be maybe something that's happened earlier in the week for them or something that's happened that night that's maybe thrown their confidence a bit. And it's just trying to get to know them and know why they're feeling that way. How can we bring it back? Yeah to yeah, well, maybe that's what's causing us to feel that way today. Yeah, and then just speaking to them about things. Yeah, not just about dance, yeah, like speaking to it.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

Absolutely, and I think their life providing that safe space for that they can come in and maybe like as a child and as a young adult, there might be some people that you want to speak to, and some people you don't want to speak to about certain issues. So I think knowing that there is a safe space of maybe they've had an issue at school, they don't want to speak to a teacher, they don't want to speak to maybe someone at home, they come in and they're like, I want to speak to and it's a release, yeah, yeah. And it's nice that like they know that they can come in and even if it's five minutes for a class or during a class and they're feeling a wee bit down that they can just pull those aside and be like, listen, yeah, here's how I talk like I think that's something we're really good for.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

I think what what we're also quite good at is spotting it. So like because I feel like we get to know the kids so deeply, yeah, and like that's like everyone, like even from the kids that we've had for the since the beginning, and then the kids that have literally walked in and we've only had them maybe like a month. We are really good at like getting to know those kids and spotting when something seems off, or do you know what I mean? And then like like often, like if I'm in the studio or whatever, like one of you'll come over and be like, She's not quite herself tonight, and like it's just good to know that you guys have always got like that switched on, yeah. Yeah, um so yeah, absolutely. I feel like we do a really, really good job of reframing, like you said, like trying to kind of get not in the kids' heads, but like trying to let them do their own thinking, do you know what I mean? And trying to get them to reframe it, because I think that's also important because I feel like it's all one nice being like, right guys, let's manifest, let's do that. Like we like that woo-woo people that we are, but like actually trying to get children to understand that is difficult. But I think that we're quite good at like getting them to do the thinking and getting them to see the realizations and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

One place you can really see it is with the junior coaches because they come, absolutely, they come as athletes, they come quite often from rec, they have a great time. They're like, right, we'll step into comps, and then it's the next level up, and we're pushing them and we're making them more confident. And we get those messages from the parents to say, Oh my god, she's she's a different child, and all that, and we're like, We know, we're doing it. Um, but it's when you hear them start to coach as a junior coach or stepping into an actual coaching role, and you hear the way that they are talking to kids and they're saying things that we've said to them like five years before. That's so nice that like it's obviously worked because they're then repeating it.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Yeah, that's stuck with them.

SPEAKER_03 13:06

Yeah, I think I think like kind of what you're saying, like modeling positive behaviours, like that feeds off into anyone. Like, and then you show up, you're dressed the part, you look the part, you know what you're planning, you know, what you're teaching, you know, how you're delivering things, like they're gonna feed off that. So if you just go in and your face is tripping you, they're gonna feel exactly like whereas like kids feed off absolutely everything you do. Yeah, and you don't I think us as coaches, as role models, sorry, but as role models, you need to be aware that these kids actually are looking up to you. Yeah, things that you do they are gonna pick up, they're gonna feed for in like proofs in the poofs and you can see it in the way you were saying about the junior coaches, like they're picking up the same kind of things we are saying, or copying warm-ups, copying like compliments, like all these different things. Like, it's important for us to know that.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Yeah, I heard Ellie say the other week, um use your other left foot, and I was like, Oh my god, that's me. Oh, it's funny. That's so funny. I was like, Oh god, that came straight out of my mouth.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

I feel like we experienced that. Like, I'm just speaking on behalf of Ashley now, but like we experienced that for you from you guys as well. Like, say, watching you guys, I'm like that. I'm like, oh, she just looks like me. We're trying to create like little clones of each other to blends and to bring that. I know I mean we always say joke that it's like you're the mini mute. You're the mini mu. I'm shorter than you. Yeah, um I'm mini mute, actually. Yeah, but I feel like um like not that we try and like clone each other, but I feel like our values are just all so.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

When you talk about like building like not just confident dancers but confident people, I feel like me and Amy both really feel that. Oh, because science. We've been athletes, yeah, uh-huh. Like we always felt supported, but now in the role that we're done, it's like, oh my goodness. I mean, I feel so supported. If I hadn't come back to dance and so all those skills, guys don't. I said I wasn't gonna cry.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Take your finger to cry.

SPEAKER_03 15:11

I don't think that's so true though. Like, if like use in this, I don't know how to say this, but like use force us to do things that we wouldn't want to do. Yeah, it's like we always say like you don't grow in your comfort zone, you don't, and like you were saying that to me, I'm like, so true.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

Like, I mean that's what the example is today. Yeah, yeah. Like I'm I was like, I'm not gonna. I was like, guys, I've booked it for Friday, make yourself available. And everyone was like, Oh, I've got something on.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

I'm like, it's half past eleven. It's you in the evening. See you there. I mean, I went and delivered colour and cheese just in Attic Sash. And I was like, I don't know how I'm so proud of myself. It's like I went and delivered colouring cheese. Good job.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

It's like good getting like good ginnum. But I feel like it's so important because like I'm like I said to you even this morning, like, I am not feeling confident about sitting here and and doing this, but I feel like it's you fake it to make it, like you just know what I mean. You just like go for it, like we're just having a chat. And I feel like if I had stopped myself from doing it because I felt like that, I was never gonna grow, which meant that you were never gonna do it because like it actually took for me to be like, we're actually we're we have to do it. We are the way we have so um I feel like we like mirror that really well when we're talking to the kids as well. Like, yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, like, say when they're like that, show me back handspring, and I'm like, I don't know anymore. I'm like, do not matter, and I'm like, do not be like we're gonna we try and find the coach that can actually um mirror the skills, but like as long as we're mirrored in the people that we want them to become and making sure that we're being good people, then I was just saying that that's why I'm a coach now. I'm not too selectible anymore in some way. It's so funny that so we're like, can you do it? I'm like, yeah, yeah, just haven't just not written the middle bit right now.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

No, not stretching. My most common phrase is listen, if your 34-year-old coach can do it, and you can at this big age, you've got a problem. So funny.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

But anyway, I feel like that is like ties up nicely, and I feel like we should wrap that one up. Um I feel like we I'm really proud to use, and I feel like we do a really good job as a team on raising competent answers. Um thank you for joining me this day. That's very day. Thank you for joining me. Thank you for being here. Um but yeah, we will see you on the next episode. Yes. Bye. Bye.