Ep. 38. You Don’t Need More Motivation. You Need More Action.

Ep. 38. You Don't Need More Motivation. You Need More Action.

We ask a blunt question: are we actually becoming who we said we’d be, or are we hiding behind old stories and small excuses. We talk fear, discipline, long-term choices, and the tiny habits that make you a better partner and a better version of yourself. 
• using fear as fuel instead of a stop sign 
• why “manifestation” only works with consistent doing 
• chasing long-term goals without trading them for short-term comfort 
• the difference between one big excuse and many small misaligned choices 
• accepting outcomes without blaming the world 
• staying present instead of living in past highlight reels 
• becoming a better husband by being intentional again 
• the daily “143” alarm as a simple connection habit 
• discipline as doing what you don’t want to do 
• finding inspiration in extreme efforts like ultra marathons 

Please share, subscribe, um, feedback, all the above 

Transcript

Fear As Fuel For Greatness

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Can't get past that. And the great ones go into everything thinking I have to give more than I'm capable. I have to be bigger than myself to win. And then sometimes you go in to you name it in life and you realize as you're in it, you're deep in it, you're like, I made this bigger than it was.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Or like, I think like Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, these guys are great examples of this. Like, they knew they were better than pretty much everybody else. But like, what did MJ do? He would like fake make up these stories and create these enemies to like fuel himself to take his game to a whole other level. Because if he just went into it, like, I'm better than these guys, don't matter. He wasn't gonna do what he did.

Spring Break Catch Up

SPEAKER_03 1:06

I'm Nikki Rankar with Braxton Cave, and on the DJ producer thing is Jay.

SPEAKER_04 1:13

He said the DJ.

SPEAKER_03 1:15

DJ producer. Yeah. Um we're back from spring break.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

And you got some miles in.

SPEAKER_03 1:23

We got some miles in. I got more miles than you. You did.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

You went on a double run.

SPEAKER_03 1:29

I went on double. I got bored. I don't even know where you guys were.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Somewhere with the kids. I think we went to the pool with the kids. Oh, and I think my kids I don't know what they want. They were sunburned.

SPEAKER_03 1:40

Oh, that's right. Yeah. That's a whole podcast. It is. Don't let your yeah. When you get a 16-year-old girl who just wants to be out in the sun and she's not out in the sun, she burns within an hour and a half. Man. Well, we've actually been we've probably had five podcasts, I think, already, um, before we hit record on this right now. To the point where you were like, dude, we're wasting our content. We do record a bunch. We and I would say a lot of it, um, I think I got a little upset on some stuff. I wish we probably were recording.

Dream Cars And Future Self

SPEAKER_03 2:18

Um because it I think the topic we had, I don't think we really even said this is what we're gonna talk about, but just men not becoming who we said we were gonna be. Like whether it's as a kid or as you're growing up, like I think we all have these goals. I actually was just telling my daughter we were I picked her up from school too.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Well, preface to it, I think that it's women too, right? We're gonna we always speak from the men's perspective, but uh this this one for sure falls in with men and women, yeah, just mindset.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

Oh, for sure. And actually, I've had I was just telling you guys about a conversation I had with my youngest daughter, but then I had a conversation with my oldest daughter, and I picked her up from school early today, and as we were driving home, I was in my I think we talked about it last podcast, like my car. Like, I have a nice car. Um I've always wanted a nice car, and I never thought about it. But I was driving, and I was on this drive thinking, like, I remember when I was 23 or 24 working when me and Chelsea worked together at ATT, and I'd be on the computer building the my dream car, and it was an Audi A8, but sometimes I'd go into like Infinity and see what they had, and I'd go to Mercedes and I'd go to BMW and I would just build like the most expensive car that they had, and I'd be like, what are the colors I want? And I would always say, When I'm in my 40s, I'm gonna buy this car. And I thought, what if I could go back to that kid building those cars and tell him what I'm driving now? And I was like, he wouldn't even believe you're driving an electric vehicle. Are you like, this is like a remote control car? So I and I told my daughter, I told her, I was like, I remember what building these cars, and this isn't even what I wanted, but it's better than what I ever wanted. It didn't, it didn't even exist. Like they were, I don't even think, was that 2007? Yeah, 2007, 2008. That was when Tesla was around. But like early on, I think it was the what was the first car they had?

SPEAKER_04 4:33

Hybrid?

SPEAKER_03 4:34

No, it was Toyota. It was before him, it was before Elon was there. He started investing into it. The roadster. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I was telling my 20, and I was basically saying to her, you're going to have dreams. It's your choice to keep following them. And like, you know, manifestation, I believe, is real, but manifestation isn't like, oh, I I want this, so then therefore I get it. It's saying I want it, and what am I willing to continually do and put in front of me? It's the it's the doing. And sometimes we get to the end line and we're nowhere where we thought we were gonna be, but it's exactly where we were heading the whole time. It's just things changed. The car I have is completely different than anything I would have ever wanted, but it's exactly what where I am now. It's like that's my dream car now. And I think that bodes to a lot of different things. And I don't think I ever thought I'd actually get it. But to looking back 24, I'm like, I never thought I'd get in my 40s. You know, you just you're like, oh, when I'm in my 40s, I'll get that. Felt fake.

SPEAKER_04 5:46

And it's not a Tesla for everybody. It's not a Tesla. Tell everyone what you drunk.

SPEAKER_03 5:50

Yeah, it's a lucid.

SPEAKER_04 5:51

Yeah, very rare. Everyone's like, a what? Yeah, I guess that's there's many people that probably do not know what they'll do.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

No, a lot of people don't know what it is. It people will be like, what's a lucid? And I'm like, it's a lucid.

SPEAKER_04 6:01

I personally think they're better than Tesla.

SPEAKER_03 6:02

Oh, they're way better. For sure. Yeah. Um, but they're not as known. They're higher ticket, they're gonna have a cheaper model coming out in the next within the next year. I think $50,000 one potentially.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

I think the the coolest thing about your car, like the difference between the car you drive and the like a Tesla or the other um electric vehicles is the the attention to detail in the interior. It like really separates it. Oh, dude. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:33

It it is. I don't know. I it I will tell you, Braxton, being the size that he is, he complains every time he has to get in a complaint.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Like sitting on the ground. I think Nick did it purposefully, just trying to make me work on my squat mobility. He does. I actually just texted him yesterday and said, You working on your mobility? Man, I actually have never owned, I've never owned or purchased a new vehicle for myself. That's the first one I've ever purchased. Yeah, my wife, I bought my wife and uh she's had a couple new vehicles because she deserves them more than I do. Um I don't honestly, I don't even know what I would do, what I would buy. Probably a another truck.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Dude, Chelsea tried to talk me out of getting a car. She's like, no, we want some, but I'm like, it's what I've always wanted. I I haven't I've not had cars, but that I've just always wanted like a I guess you can call it luxury, just sedan, like four-door awesome, fast car that I can take anywhere. Like I didn't people are like, oh, do you not drive it? I'm like, no, I'm driving this thing probably for five years and then I'll sell it so I can still have warranty on it and whatnot. But no, I've never I always told myself I'd never buy a new car. I'll never buy a new car.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

And it's interesting, I think I think there's people who are like in one boat or the other. It's like I will never buy new, I always buy use. Like you drive it off the lot, you lose 20 grand, you know, that whole um, but like in Natalie's family, they always bought new. Like when we were 16, Natalie got a brand new car. Jeez. Um I'm trying to remember what it was. A Toyota something, Corolla, maybe. Corolla Camry. But but that's just how they did her, you know, her dad liked the the warranty and all the things, the not having to worry about anything. And and in my family, it was like polar opposite. Like my my first vehicle was a uh it was a so I got my license in 2006, and I was driving a 1993 Toyota Camry with like half a paint job. Yes, I went from that to uh to a two-door F-250, and then I just kind of rode that way for a long, long time. I bought my I bought my own vehicle when I got in the league. Um, and I bought a used F-150. I've just kind of always been a truck guy. Went through through a brief stint where I I bought the car that I thought I wanted.

SPEAKER_04 9:19

Bro, you're not fitting in a car. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

Oh, SUV. It was an SUV, not a car. Um but I drove a Range Rover for a little while and and I loved it. It was a great vehicle, but I just I just made my way back to a truck and something feels right about it.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

Dude, I started with a 1987 Bonneville. 200 some thousand miles on it. And then uh then I bought a 1998 Chevy Cavalier Gold, drove that thing, opened my first, like drove that thing from freshman year of college until I uh had a business for like two or three years, and it wasn't starting in the winter, and Chelsea was like, You own businesses and you pull, you can't even get to it because the car won't start. So she made me uh get a new vehicle.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

But I could tell I'll I'll tell this quick story and we can save some of these funny stories for another day. But we're since we're talking about vehicles, when I was probably I don't know, man, eight years old probably. Me and my cousin were in my backyard, and our our property butted up to another property, and the the guy that owned the property had like tons of old cars, like kind of like junk cars, right? Just stored back there. And complete parts. We thought it was a good idea one day to throw rocks at the cars, and so we uh I threw a rock or a brick, I don't know which one it was, through the windshield of one of the cars, and he just happened to be back there, and it was a whole thing. Cops showed up at the house. Long story short, my parents ended up having to buy the vehicle, and it was like uh old Lincoln something. It was like a boat, dude.

SPEAKER_03 11:06

It was so you paid him back with your first time.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

So no, so my my I have a sister who's 10 years older than me. She ended up having to drive it, and so she was so pissed for the longest time that she, because of my recklessness as a kid, did I tell the Wonderbred story?

SPEAKER_03 11:25

Have I told that story?

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Wonderbred?

SPEAKER_03 11:27

Yeah. Okay, I have to tell this quick one then. We were in the back of a friend's pickup truck, and it was winter, tons of snow, and the back is full of snow. So there's maybe three guys in the back, two guys in the front, just a green pickup truck, and we're taking the snow and just tossing it up in the air as incoming traffic's going by on the other side. Well, somebody ends up putting a little bit too much oomph on one of the snowballs that happened to be like an ice ball, and it was a wonderbred truck. So he throws it, so we're going one way, wonderbred truck's going the other way, throws it, and as soon as we pass, because you don't have you don't see it hit, right? We pass, and all of a sudden we just see brake lights. And this wonderbred truck stops. Middle of the road, does a three-point churn and starts chasing us. And it chases us four miles to the point where we're freaking out, and the kid driving the car is too freaky, like he's he can't control his emotions, and he drives into a snowbank. And now we're all in this truck, like what there's a wonderbred truck chasing us, and this wonderbred truck catches us, and they've got these huge two front windshields, shattered the passenger side one, and the guy just got out and was like, what? Like, and we knew exactly who threw it, so we obviously blamed him. Oh, you ran in him out. Oh my goodness. I don't really know exactly what happened, but I remember being like, wow, we just yeah, that was a crazy and the fact we could have gotten away. He drove into a snowman.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

You should have got out and ran.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

It could have, I think I was at that point, it was like we're all in this together until we weren't.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Yeah, I think I think we could probably start telling a stupid story that we from our childhood every episode.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Yeah, well that probably.

Are You Who You Wanted

SPEAKER_03 13:29

But all that to be said, are you who you wanted to be now? I mean, I would assume. You could lead in, dude. Yeah, most of us are old. And honestly, if you go back to my my car story, like that's who I wanted to be the guy that could buy that car and not feel like it was gonna kill him, in the sense of like financially. Like I knew in my 40s, if I do everything as I have planned, as I want, like, and when I say planned, I researched what do rich people, it's the easy, what do rich people do? How do rich people save their money? How do they build wealth? How do they do it? And all I did was mimic that. I opened up all the accounts they did, I do all those things. So I thought, okay, I'm I got my first job, I'm looking at these cars that I'm not buying now. But by the time I'm in my 40s, if I'm following this plan remotely close, I should be able to buy this car and do it fine. Like, and feel like not you deserve it, but it's not gonna hurt you in any way. And that's where just today I thought about that. And that's where that's a very vain, like, oh well, cool, you drive a nice car. But the reality is that's something that I didn't do. I could have done it then. I think people do it now. I think people do things that pull them from who they want to be so early because they think they deserve it. I got the good job, I got, you know, I got this awesome hot girl now, like I gotta show off, or I don't know. But to me, I never wanted to make a mistake early. I wanted to make it when it wasn't a mistake.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

Yeah. The a quote that popped in my head that stands out to me is don't give up what you want most for what you want right now. And there the number of times that I have had to remind myself of that. I love that. You know, it's you know, I have we have this conversation with our our uh wealth management team all the time. It's like just because you can doesn't mean you should. Same thing in business, right? When we talk about, you know, making strategic moves or acquisitions, it's like just because we can, just because we have the cash flow, doesn't mean that we should, because maybe it doesn't fit the the vision or the strategy of the future. And you can apply that to your own life in the same way. But I just I love that quote. I actually have it written on my whiteboard in my office at work. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 16:03

And I and I think when we aren't, if you're right now not you know, you can look back, and I think I had said this, people who aren't who they want to be or who they thought they'd be, a lot of times are talking about who they were, right? Because you look back and you're like, man, he had all the possibilities, or she had all everything in front of her. And I don't I think we talk like this one big thing stopped us, right? Like, ah, it was that knee injury. It's like, Mike, you weren't going to the NFL, right? It wasn't the knee injury, right?

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Like there's these little things like, oh, well, you know, but people make up those stories to make themselves feel better.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

Yeah, for yeah, it's it's easy to pinpoint one thing than to say, hey, I'm at I made a lot of really small decisions that didn't push me in the direction I said I wanted to go. Doesn't mean those decisions are bad. I'm not trying to say that like you aren't where you wanted to be because you made bad decisions, it's that you made decisions that weren't taking you that way.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Yeah, I uh I always try to look at it in terms of like I I kind of like to accept and go through the things that haven't worked out in my life, and almost like it probably sounds sick to say it, but it's like almost like suffer through it. To feel it and like truly understand why people just like even like I we can use this because we just talked about it on the podcast, but like my NFL career, it's like I could sit here and say, well, you know, it didn't work out, or I got screwed, or you know, this person just didn't like me. At the end of the day, like the way I choose to look at it is like I wasn't good enough to play for as long as what I wanted to play. Like, I'd rather sit in that and like accept that fact versus like make up these bullshit stories of like, you know, so-and-so didn't like me, or this didn't go my way, or this guy got drafted higher than me, or whatever. Like, at the end of the day, I'm gonna accept the fact that like if I was as good as I mentally wanted to be or thought I was, I'd still be playing. But I wasn't.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

That's so that's funny that that's the way you use it. What I always did and still do is when I hear somebody talk about like, oh, I could have been, or like, if I could go back and do it again, I'd do it differently. And I say if I could go back, I'd do it the exact same because I didn't know any different.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

Right. It's like I can't stand, and like I I I have I have a ton of friends still from like high school, and and you know, but I can't stand when people constantly talk about like things of the past. It's like I I talk to some buddies and they're like, remember when we were playing Saint Joe in 2006, and the score was 31 to 3, and I'm like, no, dude. Like, I don't remember, I don't remember any of that. Like, there's very few like memory my memories are like of things that I did or accomplished with my buddies, but like the high school games and the scores and the I don't even know. I I I honestly, this is this is an honest confession. The biggest game I ever played in in college was the national championship when we got our ass beat by Alabama. I don't know what the final score was. Honestly don't. 20 28-7, maybe. Oh, I've forgotten it too. I don't know. I know we got smoked. That's what I know. I think it was more than that, but go ahead. Yeah. I didn't believe it. I mean, I know I don't know what it was.

SPEAKER_04 19:53

40 something. Okay. I know at one point.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Don't nobody need to fact check it. At one point, this is the last thing I remember. We went we went three and out, and I went and sat on the sideline, you know, as an O-line, and I looked up the scoreboard, and we were losing 21-0. And I remember saying, What the hell just happened? And that's kind of like the last thing I remember from that game, to be honest.

SPEAKER_04 20:23

There is one thing that you told me later on in life about what the Alabama players would they tell you.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Oh, so at the at the Combine, I was talking to some of the Alabama guys, and and they were like, Man, you know, we thought you guys were gonna beat our ass. We like watching film, like we thought you guys were gonna like. And I'm like, oh that made me feel great.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

Wow.

Confidence, Comparison, And Competing

SPEAKER_03 20:52

Is it but so that right there, that statement, that is how I believe you, I know for sure myself, I always never underestimate a situation or a person. Because I think we look across the table at somebody or another person or across the street, everybody looks really great across the street. And we instead of going over and challenging them and playing the game and finding out, we're just like, I could never play that game. They're too good. They're this. Because to you, you're like, Alabama probably thought they were gonna destroy us, and they did. But then to hear like they thought we were gonna destroy them, yet they went there and they destroyed you means what they thought about you didn't factor into how they what they believed in themselves. They went there and they played the game. And I think so many of us don't put ourselves in the game because we don't think we're good enough.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Yeah, it's like so many times we I to kind of back up though, I think that's what oftentimes makes a lot of people great. It's like they They feel like someone else is so much better than me that I gotta go way, I gotta up myself way more. And all along they're thinking the same thing about you. 100%. It's like this hidden, like that's how you can. I'm gonna say it out loud, but like I'm really nervous.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

That's how you can break people. You can break people because some people can't get past that. And the great ones go into everything thinking I have to give more than I'm capable. I have to be bigger than myself to win. And then sometimes you go in to you name it in life, and you realize as you're in it, you're deep in it, you're like, I made this bigger than it was.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Or like, I think like Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, these guys are great examples of this. Like, they knew they were better than pretty much everybody else. But like, what did MJ do? He would like fake make up these stories and create these enemies to like fuel himself to take his game to a whole other level. And that's because if he just went into it, like, I'm better than these guys, don't matter. He's he wasn't gonna do what he did.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

Well, and if you look at all that, fear most people who become great lean into fear as the the what they should do next, which is where like I'll talk to my kids and you know they'll be like, Oh, I'm just scared. And I'm like, Yeah, but you were scared three years ago when you did this, and and they're like, Yeah, but that's not scary now. I'm like, Yeah, because you did it. Now you have a new bigger, scarier thing. And then after you do this, there's gonna be a new bigger, scarier thing. There's always gonna be a big scary thing in front of you. The question is, are you gonna conquer it or let it conquer you? And most people will sit and they have it, they know someone can point to you when I was 22 years old. This person came up and they did this thing, blah, blah, blah. And ever since then, I've not been able to. And you're like, dad. So for 20 years, you sat in that moment and you let that win. Like, that's the stuff that's hard for me. Because what I will do is I'll go back to the drawing board and be like, give me six months and let me see if I can go back. And I I might not win, I might not, but I'm gonna be better than I was the first time.

Showing Up Better In Marriage

SPEAKER_01 23:59

I want to I want to pivot this conversation. I mean, we've been talking a lot about you know the the professional side or like maybe a sports-minded way, but all of this is reminding me of so Nick Nick and I are part of a uh we call it a faith-based accountability group, right? I think that's the best way to put it, our assent group. And in our last meeting, we were talking about um like how we can show more appreciation towards our wives, or you know, kind of one of the things that was talked about are like what are the things you did for your wife when you were dating her, or like what you know, who were you when she fell in love with you, and like all these things. And it made me think of you know, my wife and I have been together for 20 years. So we I mean we started dating when we were 16. And so I made the comment to the group of like, I am so glad I'm not that guy anymore. Because I was an idiot, like I was a kid, like there was I could I could give you a hundred examples of the stupid things that I did, and uh just not thoughtful. Um so I am a way better partner husband now than I would have ever been then. And so, like to think of it of I'm the guy now that I I wish I would have had the maturity to realize I could have I should have been then. So when you talk on the lines of like, are you the man you want to be? Like, I'm not perfect, I'm nowhere near where I want to be, but I am so damn far improved from who I was at that time. And um it's it's an interesting perspective, especially when you've been together for a long time. And you you had you have some feedback on this as well, of like I wouldn't do any of the things that I did when I was 16, 17, 18 years old.

SPEAKER_03 26:09

Yeah, I love well, and I loved when you said it because I think I had said kind of put a little challenge in there, and you're like, honestly, like I was saying, do go back and do some of the things you used to do that got her to love you. And you're like, honestly, if I went back, she'd hate it.

SPEAKER_01 26:23

Like, like Yeah, because some of the guys were like, Man, yeah, if I went back and did, you know, I used to write her notes, I used to do this, I used to do that. Um, I um she like she definitely loves me and I think appreciates me way more now than she ever would have then.

SPEAKER_03 26:41

Yeah, and that was I had said I used to say, I used to text her, I love her every day. And then again, it's the exact same thing of I want to be the guy that texts her I love her every single day for no reason, and I didn't for a very long time. I mean, I could probably tell you there went long periods of time. I mean, we would talk all the time, and I and I told her I loved her all the time, but I think for her, getting that I love you meant a lot, and I stopped doing that just because maybe we were around each other a lot, you know, for whatever reason. But that is a gradual, slow me not being my best self for her, right?

SPEAKER_01 27:25

And so my my tip, and I've talked about this in the past. Um, my tip for the guys who maybe that that's uh an opportunity for you for a long time. So Natalie and I in our wedding vows, and just kind of a little thing that we've always had is we've always said the words 143 to each other, which stands for I love you, the letters right represents Cordy. Um and so for a long time, I would set my alarm every day for 143 in the afternoon.

SPEAKER_03 27:57

Remember when I met you, you had this.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

I don't know if you still do to um I I haven't because our our schedules have been different. I mean, we just naturally kind of talk more during the day. Um, but when I was like in the thick grind of of work and trying to figure things out, like I could go a whole day and like us not talk at all. Um we're in a much better routine of that now. Um, but like if that's a thing for you, like set an alarm on your phone. It doesn't have to be at 143, but set an alarm. I've had I I mentioned this but on a prior podcast, and um I had a lot of guys who are like, dude, I started doing that, and my wife is loving it, and she's asking me, like, why are you sending me this at the same time every day? And uh, but it goes a long way. So I mean it's just an easy thing that if you're just intentional about it, like can have a huge impact.

SPEAKER_03 28:46

And I would say, who cares if it's the same time every day?

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Right.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

Like I I'm not saying for her, I'm saying for you. I think a lot of times also we will come up with reasons why, like, well, I mean, that doesn't make sense. Like, I would have to change it. No. It it it's not, it's it's just as much for you as it is for them. I think me thinking about telling her I love her just makes me think about her in that way more. Just as much as her seeing that makes her feel good, it makes me feel good. And if it's at the same time, cool, it's at the same time because that might be what I need right now. But what I'll tell you eventually, and I'm sure you had this before 143, you'd think about it and sometimes just say it. Like you weren't thinking, I gotta wait till the alarm goes off. Right. Like, oh no, I can't now.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Yeah, I mean, when you're like a giddy kid and like you, you know, it's different, but it's like, what do you as you mature and get older, you spend more and more time together? Like, how are you continuing to date your wife? Yep.

SPEAKER_03 29:44

And then I I would even add on like with kids or work or something, right when you start your day, start your morning, what is one thing you can do to move the needle for you? Like, and how I would look at it is think of there are things that you aren't doing that that you may not think about now, but that you used to be like, Man, I wish I did this, I wish I did this, and that's probably changed. But to go back and say, what are some things that I wish that I would have been doing a long time ago that I'm not, and just implement one each day. And those are great ones. Also, put in an alarm in them, put it down to where it pops up and goes in your face. I would have an alarm that would go off at 9 a.m. just to remind me, talk to somebody new. Because I knew I'd be in the gym, and I wanted to just say hi to somebody I didn't know. So I'd be in the middle of workout, my alarm would go off, and eventually, you know the alarm goes off. You don't even need to look at it. You're like, I need to talk to somebody new. So, because for me, I wanted to be more approachable and I wanted to share my energy, and I wanted, and I felt like I'm in the gym a bunch, I see a ton of people, I need to do it, and I've talked about that, but I set an alarm, and I think that that's just a great tool, and there are so many tools, especially with AI, and with like you can do so many things that I think there's less excuse. It's more of are you going to?

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Yeah,

Do The Work You Avoid

SPEAKER_01 31:10

I mean, uh again, it's going back to just the topic of today's conversation of are you the man or woman you say you want to be? I mean, and what are you doing about it? And I I guess one one last story that I'll tell on the on this topic is um Nick and I sent each other, you know, video Instagram videos and YouTube videos, all different kinds of stuff all the time, back and forth. And he had sent me a video a little while back of, and it's like a goofy, corny video, but it's the message within it that's what's important and it's spot on. And I had shared it. It's a it's a video of a guy who's like stuck in rocks, rocks, and dirt, yeah. And um, and he's talking to another guy, which is himself, um, who's standing there, and he's like, I can't, I can't move, I'm gonna die, I can't get out. And he's like, Well, why don't you just dig I can't can't dig myself out, like I'll hurt my hands. He's like, help me. Yeah, he's like, Well, you you can, but like you don't, you're not willing to do the work. So it goes on and on. So, but it's a great video, the the message within it. So I had sent it, I like to send videos like that along in my family group text. And you know, the the message of it was look, if you're not where you want to be, it's a simple message. Do something about it. Like, what action are you taking to become the person you say you want to be?

SPEAKER_03 32:41

And sometimes the action isn't something you enjoy, but you know that it's necessary.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

I mean, I would say nine point nine nine point nine out of ten times, it's never what you want to do. Exactly. Never. Um but so often, like we we say we want to be this person, we say we want to do this job, we want to make this money, we want to drive this car, but yet we're not willing to consistently do the work to achieve those things. It sounds nice. Like I like to say it because like to dream it up and to tell people I'm gonna do this, like it sounds really cool. But deep down, like, are you willing to actually do the work that it's gonna take? And it's gonna suck, and it's gonna be hard, and it's gonna take longer than you think. Are you really willing to do it? And that's that's what it boils down to. You and I said it earlier before the podcast started. It's simple, it's not easy, and that's everything.

SPEAKER_03 33:38

Well, and that's and that's where I would think sometimes we fall on the trap. My ending would be we like to find the things that other people call hard and call it discipline. Like, oh, I go to the gym, I'm super disciplined. You just need to be more disciplined, you need some more willpower. Don't eat that, don't do this. But the truth is that's not discipline for us. That's just who we are. We've created that's our that's our standard. To be disciplined is to do the things that you don't want to do anyway. And that's how you change. And you have to constantly be you can't say, when I was 20, I decided this, and now I'm me, I'm 42, and I'm still doing it. I'm so disciplined. No, you're not. But what I can say is you should be challenging to add to okay, that's now easy. What can I add on top of that? How can I challenge myself to do some hard things that I don't want to? Or super simple things like I know I shouldn't be eating chips. As dumb as that is, I'll I'll say that. Chips, pretzels, those things, I don't eat them, but they are in our house. Okay, so you I'm not disciplined, but there are times when I am, and I struggle with that. And I know that like the only thing that I eat bad now is is I will have chips maybe two to four times a week. Uh one, I'll get a little bowl and I'll have them. You could be like, oh, that's not that bad, but to me, I know I'm better than that. But am I? Because I'm doing it. And we like to say that, right? We can be like, oh, I'm not uh no, I am a person who eats them. If they weren't in my house, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 35:17

And here I am. Yeah.

Ultra Marathon Inspiration

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Um the last thing before we sign off, I I just gotta I gotta shout this out. It was a really cool thing to witness. Um last weekend was the the BPN Go One More Ultra Marathon Backyard Marathon. Insane. It I was it was funny because people were making videos of exactly how I felt. Like, I just need this thing to end because it's like consuming my whole life. Uh, but watching these guys run, so for those of you that don't know, a backyard marathon it's a four 4.2 mile lap every hour on the hour. So if you finish in 50 minutes, you get 10 minutes of rest and then you tow the line and go again. And these dudes, the the final two, Mark Dowdle and Kendall, they ran for three days straight. And it was just like, you know, I'm I'm sitting here getting ready to do my four or five-mile run, and I'm like, these dudes have been doing this for three days straight. I can't do one, I can't do it once. Like, come on. I mean, just so to see people push themselves to these limits and do really, really hard things to show people like you could do it too. Anyone can do it if you put in the work to train and and go for it. Um but the what was funny is like it inspired me. We were we were driving home from Florida, and we were like, okay, we're gonna do a straight shot. We're like, we're just gonna drive through. And uh Natalie and I were talking, like, should we stop like halfway and like get a good night of sleep? And I'm like, in my head, I'm like, these dudes have been running for three days straight. Like, I can drive for 16 hours straight. Like, um, so shout out to those guys. Uh Mark Dowell ended up winning. I I can't remember the exact mileage, but it was well over 300 miles.

SPEAKER_04 37:14

I mean, it's just 302, I think. 312.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

Yeah, just wild.

SPEAKER_04 37:18

You should have saw us if he's gonna be able to do that. Well, that's right.

SPEAKER_03 37:20

And I would say to that, what he's talking about, this is just my opinion. You can tell me I'm wrong. He was inspired. You that that wasn't motivation. No. You were inspired. So find people and find things that inspire you. It's not to say you can go run 112 miles, also, it's to say you can do more than you are right now. Those guys, when they were 20, weren't like, I'm gonna go win this. It probably didn't exist. I love saying that. Most things that people that you will find people doing that inspire you didn't exist when they were first going after the thing that got them where they are. Greatness isn't in the straight line path to where they're going. Greatness is in the I allowed myself to be in a position to show greatness. How that comes out is different for everyone. And we all have it in us. It could be how you are as a father, it could be how you are as a husband, it could be how you are in your faith with Jesus Christ, it could be how you are in your business, it can be how you are with who you show as who you are to anyone you come in contact with. It can be the smile on your face. You get to choose how you show up. And we all get to make that choice every single day.

SPEAKER_01 38:34

Yep. We all get to make choices, and choices are sacred.

SPEAKER_04 38:38

It was uh 73 laps, 306 miles, 0.6 miles.

SPEAKER_01 38:44

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 38:45

That's the record so far. So they ran. That's the record so far, sir.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

Roughly, roughly the distance of the bike ride. I know, I thought that.

SPEAKER_03 38:53

We did I I ran 30 miles last um spring break week. Not consecutive.

SPEAKER_01 39:00

No, spring break week. I think I actually didn't even. He did 30, I did 25. He just had to up me.

SPEAKER_03 39:07

That's I didn't have to, I just was bored and I went on a five-mile run. We came back and I was like, I wrote ran. Awesome.

Closing And Listener Requests

SPEAKER_03 39:16

Well, thank you everybody for listening. Please share, subscribe, um, feedback, all the above. We appreciate you. See y'all. Bye.