Heroes on Screen, Heroes in Life

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Hero Definition A person who is admired or idolized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. Now, when I say hero, I don't mean a dude in the cave. I don't mean Superman, Batman, not even Iron Man. I mean I love all those guys. When I say hero, I mean women. Women. Because women have always been my heroes. They've shaped me, protected me, saved me, lifted me up. Every real hero I've ever had has been a woman. And I couldn't be prouder of that. So in this episode, I want to show you how my love for heroes on screen came directly from the heroes of my life. We're going to talk about three iconic TV heroes. Then I'll share the women in my real life. My sisters, my mom, my friends, all who showed me what true strength really looks like. Alright, so let's start with my number one hero, Ms. Buffy Ann Summers. Now listen, this will not be the last time you hear this name on this podcast. This show shaped me and molded me. Not only personally, but just as aspiring actor and writer. The writing on the show is incredible. Character development, but let's not go too deep. Not right now, because I you'll probably get a whole episode about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, not even kidding. But Buffy Summers. Now this won't be the like I said, this won't be the last time. Buffy was chosen to be the slayer. She didn't ask for it. She didn't want it. It made her life complicated. She just wanted to be normal, to blend in, but she couldn't. People shunned her, called her weird, made fun of her. She stood tall. She fought demons, monsters, vampires. But she still remained a hero through it all. A sassy fashionista hero, but a hero nonetheless. And as a little gay black boy, I felt that in my bones. The demons my demons were vampires, but they were real. Self-doubt, loneliness, feeling like I didn't belong. What I loved most was that Buffy wasn't perfect. She was flawed, messy, human. And still she lived with courage and strength. Every time Buffy got back up, she gave me permission to give back up too. She showed me that, yeah, you have you're different, but it's okay. And she remained a hero through that. And it just inspired me week by week. The icon that you are, Buffy and Summer. And I love you so much. Now, I just want you guys to know also that I'm a I am a comic book nerd, mostly comic book movies. I collect some comics, but I really grew up a really big Power Ranger, freaking fanatic. And of course, I loved who are we gonna talk about? My second hero is Kimberly Hart, the Pink Ranger. That's right. You heard me. The Pink Ranger. She's amazing. How could you not love her? She was every 90 boys crush, anyways. She was hot, she was a real gymnast, and she was just fucking badass. Kimberly was cool, she was stylish, funny. Don't, but you didn't let the pink fool you. She was tough. She was the only one in the skirt, but she fought just as hard as everyone else. Honestly, she saved that team a million times. Kimberly is literally the reason I learned how to do the splits in elementary school. That was my trick. And it was because of her. I tried my damnedest to learn the splits, and I did. I don't know if I can do them now. And as much as she taught me how to do the splits, she all those back tucks she did, I just could not learn them. I was scared I was gonna freaking fall on my head. So yeah, I overlooked that. But the splits I mastered. What I loved was her balance. She was graceful and feminine, but also fierce and powerful. Kimbley taught me that being feminine is not a weakness, it's a superpower. And I mean that with every fiber of my being. She was such a girly girl, but she kicked ass. I was impressed every week. Alright, let's move on to my second hero. Maxine Shaw, played by the Erica Alexander from the Show Living Single. I mean, how could you not like love Max? She was beautiful, funny, smart, confident, animated. She was everything I wanted to be, damn it. Oh man. Max didn't fight with her fists, of course. She fought with her brain, her tongue, her wit. She was unapologetic, bold, brilliant, and fucking hilarious. One of the scenes that out of many, I could choose many, that stand out and still cracks me up is um the wedding scene when she was at the reception. She grabbed the the tried to grab the wine and it spilled on Regine's date, but Regine took the hit. And it kind of looked like, you know, an assassination scene. And Max backed out of the scene slow motion, going back through the crowd. Not in real slow motion, but in her slow motion. Hilarious. So funny. Her banter with Kyle, fucking legendary. She was a lady, but also wonderfully unladylike. She flipped expectations every time she opened her mouth. For me, Max was representation, a strong, witty, confident black woman on TV. She showed me black brilliance and power in a way I needed to see. Sometimes the sharpest sword is your tongue. And Max proved that. I love you, Elika Alexander. Alright, so now we're gonna move on to some of the ladies in my life. Um, we're gonna talk about my sisters. I always tell everyone that my sisters are the nicest people you'll ever meet. Way nicer than me. And I'm and I'm pretty nice. But they're way nicer than I know. Way nicer. My sisters are two completely different spirits, but both my heroes. Um I watched my sister Aisha a couple years ago fight cancer for a year straight, and it was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. I would say every day, like, I don't know how she's doing it. Even her doctors were like, your sister's extremely positive. And I think that's why she's here. That's the only reason. Because if you guys would have seen what I saw, I think anyone who's had a family member, a loved one, fight cancer. It's the ugliest, one of the ugliest things you'll ever see. And it was so weird to see it on my sister. Because if you if you know my sister Aisha, she's kind of this loosey-goosey woman and is not not really ever serious. So to see her go through something so serious was really unnerving. Um, but you know, she fought that with strength and she fought it with grace, and it showed me the power of positivity, you know, because that's the only reason she made it out there. I don't doubt it. Um, my sister Jamie, very self-spoken, very mothering. She doesn't cuss, she doesn't drink. Um, but what's wild is that Jamie used to kick boys' ass for me when we were younger. Um any boy who fucked with me, I I literally like saw her beat their ass. Like I remember this one time walking through our apartment building. This little asshole named, what was his name? Leonard Yuck was walking. He always fucked with me anyway. And he, I think he was kind of scared of my sister anyway, because she kind of had a reputation that, you know, she would whoop a dude's ass. And he was kind of like mouthing the word fag to me. My sister looked at him and she just started beating his ass. Whooped his ass. And the neighbors ended up breaking it up, and he ended up running off. Like that's the sister she was. But it's so weird that she's so soft now, so gentle and soft-spoken. Um, my sister Jimmy went through a lot when my mom passed away. She stayed strong, and she made it through that too. Just heroic, you know. Like, I don't want to share too much, but what she experienced with my mom's death, I still don't know if I were to recover from it. And she's okay. She's strong, she's better. Hero shit. Alright, now we're gonna move on to my mom's R.I.P. mom, Miss Cheryl. My mom was very loud and she cussed like a sailor, like me. I shouldn't say like me, I cussed like her. That's why I had my potty mouth. Because of Miss Cheryl. Um, she was soft with me and hard with me, protective, tough. She didn't play about her kids. She was ferocious about her children. She did not play those games. Um It's so weird that I now understand that I grew up with my mom. But the mom by the time my mom was 22 years old, she had four children. By 1982, she had four children under the like under the age of what? Four children under the age of three? Crazy. I I don't what? I could not. I could never, but she did it. I grew up with my mom, and me now today at 43. I remember the day my mom turned 40, and I'm older than that. And I understand her more now than ever, and I really wish she was here so I can kind of tell her. Like, oh, I get it. Life gave her some bullshit, you know. But she fought through it. Like, my mom really is the epitome of strength. Like, she really, really is. She taught me so much. She really taught me to be independent, stand up for myself. I remember my first breakup, she did everything to make me feel better. And it was just us at the time. I was like maybe 22. She would buy me anything I wanted, any kind of dinner. And I remember this when I don't smoke cigarettes anymore, but she'd even buy me cigarettes and she let me smoke them while I cried and talked to her, and she talked me through it. That was my mom. That's probably one of my favorite memories because that was my first heartbreak, and I could tell she just felt so bad for her little baby. I'll never forget years ago she worked in dietary in the hospital, and I will she worked downtown, and I went to visit her before I went home. Um, and there was this black and white picture just taped up on the wall. And I was, as I was talking to her, I kept looking at this picture, like, Mom, is that you? Yeah, she said, and she's cracked up laughing. Underneath that printed out picture of my mom was the words written underneath it was the boss. Hello. That's who she was. A boss ass woman in life. She didn't let all the bullshit life through at her keep her down. She kept going strong. And I miss her every day. Alright, now before I get a little cry, let's move on to my girlfriends. There's a big group of these girls, you know what I mean? I'm just gonna name a few. My Lori, Becca, Erica, Stephanie, Emily, Brittany, Nicole. I work in a pet industry, which is pretty much ran by women. So that's who I befriended, and I couldn't be more grateful for that. Like, this was my 20s, and I don't think I would have made it through my 20s without these girls. Uh, I remember calling them at 5 a.m. and they would pick up when I had a problem. If I needed some kind of saving, they'd come. If I needed a hug, they hug me. If I needed to chat, I had five different people to chat with me and really give a fuck about my feelings and who I was and what I was going through. What else could you ask for for a group of friends? So lucky. So, so lucky I was, man, to have these women around me. They were my crew. They taught me at a party. I watched these girls go through makeups and breakups, divorces, marriages, and now I think every single one of them, yeah. Everybody's a mom now. And have their own little families. And it's incredible to see, especially since I knew them when they were wild and we were going out and drinking and being idiots. And to see them just raise their families, uh, it just warms my heart. And I know singular stories about each and every one of these group of girls. I see them go through shit. And now I see them just being awesome. They made it, man. They really did. I love my girls. I will always love my girls. This last one's a special one. You won't believe how lucky I am. Yeah, you will, because I'm gonna tell you. I always wanted to be a dad. I always tell people I want to be a dad when I was a fucking kid. Crazy? Yes. And I am a dad. Uh-huh. Crazy to have a 10-year-old son and a really, really close friend who's almost family, carried him for me. Um, she worked right up until the day he was born. Well, then the night before he was born. The night of he was born. I know she was having contractions at work, but she cared him flawlessly. No complaints. You can barely tell she was pregnant. Nothing really changed. And I really feel like she didn't really blow up pregnant-wise till the end. So it was this effortless thing for her. It was a beautiful thing to see. Like me feeling him kick for the first time, me watching her belly grow. It was the best experience ever. I could see her every day. We went out to eat all the time. It was amazing. But the birth. She has two kids of her own. She's she's already birthed two children. Really pretty easy births, I'd say. My son gave her hell. Um, my son's unbiblical court was in the way, so they had to rush her out and do an emergency c section. That was probably the longest wait of my life. But out came my son through these double doors. Couldn't believe it. He's in there right now sleeping. And I still can't believe he's real some days, a decade later. But I remember going into her room after the operation, and they've sewn her up and everything. She was in recovery, and she was shaking from all the medicine they put in her, like almost shivering. And I just walked up to her, and the first thing she said to me was, I'm sorry. For what? What? For what? And it's all because she knew that scared me. She knew this wasn't the plan that she wanted. She knew this, but what? You just literally gave birth to my child. And you're apologizing to me? For why? For what? Because you're a hero. That's what I mean, ladies and gentlemen. That's heroism. Carrying my dream into the world and still apologizing as she hadn't just given me the greatest gift of my life. Heroes. I'm a lucky man. Like, did you did you just not hear the heroes I'm surrounded by? And these women, man. Uh. So, guys, look at these stories. Buffy, Kimberly, Maxine, my sisters, my mom, my friends, my best friend, and Srogate. Why wouldn't they be my heroes? Their strength, their beauty, their fight, their love. That's everything a hero should be. Heroes don't always wear capes. Sometimes they wear scrubs or business suits or skirts, or just the weight of the world on their shoulders. But they still rise. So, those are my heroes on screen and in real life. Now I want to hear from you. Who are the heroes that shaped you? Who are the women who inspired you, protected you, saved you? Because at the end of the day, our heroes make us who we are. It's wild to think that I've been this lucky. And sometimes I get you know, you get caught up in life and you don't realize how lucky you've been. To have so many heroes around you. I love the ladies in my life. I will always love the women in my life and feel so, so privileged to have had them just be there for me. Love me, be my friend. I love y'all ladies so much. And the ladies on TV. Uh I couldn't have picked a better group of women. Maxine, Buffy, Kimberly. Come on, man. But I'm gonna wrap this up, guys. Thank you all for joining me. I appreciate you pushing play. I hope we can conversate again. And as always, thank you.