Stories Untold with Marvae

Strength Through Struggle: Gavin’s Inspirational Story

• Raymond.stankevich

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Overcoming Adversity: Gavin's Journey from Troubled Teen to Aspiring Electrician | Stories Untold with Marvae
In this episode of Stories Untold with Marvae, we sit down with Gavin, a recent high school graduate from Fredericksburg, Virginia. Gavin opens up about his challenging journey, including his struggles with addiction, behavioral issues, and getting kicked out of public school. He shares how transitioning to a private school, dealing with severe anger issues, and making lifestyle changes such as a new diet and weightlifting routine helped him turn his life around. Gavin also talks about his aspirations to become an electrician and how he saved up to buy his car. Despite facing a severe car accident, Gavin's resilience continues to shine as he prepares for the next chapter of his life. His story is a powerful testament to the impact of supportive environments and personal determination in overcoming adversity.

Marvae:

Hey Gavin, thank you for being on Stories Untold with Marvae. It's great to have you here. You've got a great story to tell. So let's start out with where are you from

Gavin:

Uh, Fredericksburg, Virginia.

Marvae:

and, and that's where you were born.

Gavin:

Yes.

Marvae:

So growing up there was good.

Gavin:

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Marvae:

So talk about a little bit about, uh, high school. You just graduated from high school.

Gavin:

Yes, I just graduated a couple months ago. I am with a OSHA certification. Um, I'm planning to go for electrical level two, which I completed my level one. Um. high school doing dual enrollment. Um, I'm, I currently work at Cracker Barrel right now as a server, and was student council at my school. Also,

Marvae:

So were you at a regular high school?

Gavin:

no, a private one. Um, I was let go at my, uh, public one because I, I've gotten in trouble a lot, so I to this private one and got all my certification and everything there.

Marvae:

tell me about that, a little bit about the, the trouble you got into, um, which caused you to be asked to leave your high school.

Gavin:

I would say probably about three, maybe four years ago, I would say back in ninth grade, back in ninth grade, I got caught up into vaping, smoking weed, all that. I got really addicted to it, because that's, that's the type of people I would hang out with. I got myself. I got stuck in the wrong crowd. and then little after, I would say probably mid 10th grade, um, I got kicked out. I got caught a lot doing it, so they eventually kicked me out and so I had to decide on, I. Either going to John Jay, maybe doing something online or a couple private schools. And so I visited these, um, private schools and so the one I currently, uh, went to, that I graduated from was Gladys Soberly. that changed my life. It was so much easier on me. There was not as much students, you were not able to have your phone or anything so you wouldn't be able to like, you know, not much drama. There wasn't as much drama due to all that, which was great. but yeah, I spent the rest of my high school years there and I graduated there. Um, as a ca and graduated with certifications like osha, my electrical level one that I'm gonna continue to pursue and to complete all my classes, and then eventually do some other stuff on the side.

Marvae:

Yeah, so what's SSCA?

Gavin:

SCA, so it's student council, Associa, uh, association. I'm pretty sure it's um, like student president, school president, I would say.

Marvae:

Sounds like you had really good structure there and your, your teachers took a liking to you.

Gavin:

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Marvae:

I.

Gavin:

thank every single one of'em for what they did for me because I started going to the private school, I, I. I didn't, I didn't start all too great. No, I was still addicted to drugs at the time. And then the people that I hung around with, there also weren't the best influences until probably a year later. I, I got myself together. I started becoming an honor roll. I didn't hang out. I was really just. I wouldn't say introvert, but I was really just, I was quiet. I didn't really speak to anybody else because I knew who were bad influences on me, who could have been bad influences on me. So I, I don't know. I was just by myself really. I enjoyed I enjoyed it. It. me be successful, I would say.

Marvae:

That's terrific. So take me back to the time when, um, when you were younger, you, were there behavioral issues or anything you think that got you off track to where you were frustrated all the time or.

Gavin:

Yeah, I, I grew up with severe anger issues, actually, like, like when I was probably like five, six years old. Uh, I was extreme, like in elementary, I was a really bad kid. I got kicked outta middle and everything too. Um, then I went to, um, another middle school, did it online with, uh, during COVID, and I didn't do too well either. Um, but yeah, no, I, I grew up with a lot of like aggressive behavior, um,

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

also. And then,

Marvae:

were you taking medication at that time?

Gavin:

oh yeah. I was taking a lot, I was taking, I was on a lot. Um.

Marvae:

Really.

Gavin:

Yeah, and I think it just caused a lot of like side effects were really negative on me too until probably around 11th grade is when I just, one day I just decided not to take them, and then so I continued to just stop taking them until my parents realized, well, this is actually a, a good fit. Like it actually is. Better for him that he's off the meds and everything, and it was, it was life changing. I'm not on any meds currently or anything.

Marvae:

So you just stopped cold Turkey?

Gavin:

Yeah,

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

Yeah.

Marvae:

Oh, wow. What was that like? You didn't have any side effects or anything when, when you stopped taking.

Gavin:

no withdrawals as I remember. Not really, no. Mm-hmm. And that was kind of, um, what I've had when I was also like heavy into weed. Well, I kind of quit cold Turkey on that too. Like I didn't have no withdrawals on that either

Marvae:

Wow, that is amazing. So all this time that, that you were acting out and you, you, you had behavioral issues, anger issues, what was it like for your parents?

Gavin:

Ooh, it wa it was horrible for them. They, to be honest, I. They probably were traumatized. That's how bad it was. It was really, really bad. Like I was extremely aggressive towards them. Physically, verbally, everything. When I, especially when I was really young, it was really bad. Like I had to go to the hospital for it, um, VCU and then one other one. But yeah, I had to get taken places for it. It was that bad.

Marvae:

You just decided within yourself that it was time to change, you wanted to get off medication. Um, you wanted to do better for yourself? Is, is that what I am what I'm hearing?

Gavin:

Yeah, be better for myself and just better for my family. I'm sure they're really proud of me for how far I've gone and they don't have to deal with all that aggression. probably very relieving for them.

Marvae:

That's, that's amazing because some kids either die or they just, I. Get committed to jail and or they do prison time. I mean, this is amazing that you decided on your own that enough was enough.

Gavin:

Yeah. That is true. I'm glad,

Marvae:

I.

Gavin:

glad it didn't come to that point for myself. I'm so glad I, I, so glad for where I am today.

Marvae:

Your parents helped out, they were supportive, and then you had some supportive teachers as well that, uh, helped you out.

Gavin:

Yeah, my, my teachers were extremely supportive. Um, everybody there at that school was extremely supportive. Um, my parents especially were too, they did everything they could for me.

Marvae:

That's amazing. I don't know if you mentioned this or not earlier, but um, you're going to be an electrician, is that. What you wanna do. So how did you, did you, um, study that in high school or was that something that you became interested in?

Gavin:

Yeah, I did, I did dual enrollment in my 12th grade year. Um, I did, uh, my first class for that, so I, I took that there at the school for free and gave me interest when I grew up, I did a lot of hand stuff on with my dad, so that got me

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

that, and so I. Now that they, my school offered a scholarship and everything for that, it would be cheap for me to take it. So I was like, yeah, not? I'm willing to continue that and see how it goes for me. Yeah.

Marvae:

Part of your healing process after you, you got your scholarship, everything, um, teachers are happy for you, they're supportive. I. You also changed your diet, so talk about that.'cause that's really interesting.

Gavin:

So, when long when I was growing up, years ago, I would say probably, yeah, around 10th grade, um, after I stopped taking my meds. I wanted to make my a change for myself physically too. I, I didn't, I didn't like how I looked growing up. I didn't how I felt. Sleeping in class, like it was so bad. I.

Marvae:

so were you like overweight or what was it that you didn't like about yourself?

Gavin:

Overweight. I was, I was probably almost 200 to 10,

Marvae:

Wow.

Gavin:

Yeah. I've, I've lost about 40 pounds, I would say. 40. Yeah.

Marvae:

Wow.

Gavin:

that. Um. Watching my diet now, it, it, I feel a whole lot more different. I am awake during the day completely in school. Everything I'm able to focus, I'm, sometimes I feel like I have too much energy at times. My parents would definitely say that. Like I have a lot of energy. Um, yeah.

Marvae:

what are you eating? Um, did you do the research or how did you just decide? I wanna start eating better?

Gavin:

School specifically. I, I hated the fact that I slept in class always. And especially my, my meds, my side effects from my meds also made me very tired and everything. So after I stopped that and had my diet, well it, um, um, I felt a lot better off of it, obviously. Um. Yeah, I, I do do a lot of research like towards supplements and all that, but some of my teachers told me that I should probably get into sports medicine and all that due to,

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

it's very interesting, like supplements, like eating how your body, um, to foods and all that. Like I, I found it really interesting.

Marvae:

Did you decide when you wanted to eat better? Did you, did you look at what, how red meat is for your body or what, you know, vegetables, like what did you cut out of your diet

Gavin:

Um,

Marvae:

candy or,

Gavin:

yeah, candy are one of the things. Um.

Marvae:

I.

Gavin:

Sodas. If they're not diet or zero sugar, I will not drink them. I still enjoy myself as I'm a kid. I do sugary stuff here and there.

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

I. because I, I love crumble cookie. I go there like every week, and those like cookies are

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

like almost or over a thousand calories just for, just for the size of this cookie like that. Um, but yeah, no, I do enjoy myself a lot. I, I train very, like, intense.

Marvae:

Oh, you're training now too.

Gavin:

I, I sh I weight lift six days a week. Yeah.

Marvae:

Gavin, that's amazing.

Gavin:

Yeah.

Marvae:

That is awesome. So then you know what you have to eat to gain your muscle strength

Gavin:

I, I do.

Marvae:

Or muscle mass.

Gavin:

Yeah. For example, today I ate like five eggs. I ate steak. Um, today I. Um, I have shakes every day too. Pretty much all that I, yeah, I try to get a lot of protein in my body daily,

Marvae:

Wow. So how are you like with vegetables? Do you incorporate vegetables in your diet?

Gavin:

I don't day. Um, it switches up daily. Um, one thing that I do keep in my diet are eggs. I do, I do keep those in my diet. Nuts. I them consistently. Um, vegetables, fruits, sometimes. Not always. Not every day. every day. No.

Marvae:

Yeah, but you still, but you're, you're ga gaining muscle mass and you're focused on going to the gym six days a week. Um, tell me about the car that you just purchased with your own money.

Gavin:

So, yeah, I was, I'm working at Cracker Barrel as a server. It's been almost a year and a half now, so I. Another thing I'm extremely interested in is like investing. I love saving my money. When I started working at Cracker Barrel, I was very like iffy about spending my money. I just wanted to save every bit that I had. So like my dad, I am. Into cars a lot. Like I'm

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

Into cars and so when I got my permit for the first time, my dad's truck, Tahoe, that's what I started learning to drive. And so I, I saved up my money. I to get a car, and so I bought another Tahoe with my own money in cash. I thought it would've been a, definitely a better choice at my age and how I am a male. Insurance-wise, it is a lot of money already, but if that I was looking into were like luxurious, sporty, all that and probably would not have been the best for me, if I wanted to save money. So I got something that I already fell in love with, which. already had experience in driving, so I'm, I'm glad.

Marvae:

That's terrific. Congratulations. That's exciting. So then you can, you know, change it up and it'd be easy maybe, you know, to your dad to. Help you out and fixing it up and yeah, that's terrific. And now you don't have to use their car or depend on them or friends or whatever to get you wherever you gotta go. Now you have your own wheels.

Gavin:

Yeah, definitely for work, it was definitely a challenge because I would have my mom works night shift, so it would, she would have to get up during the day to bring me there to work, then just go back to sleep. Then wake up 30 minutes after, like an hour after to get herself ready for work. It would just take time

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

out of her sleep to do that. So. I'm glad that I have a vehicle now. Now that I can work anytime that I want and all that, it makes it a whole lot easier and I can make more money that way.

Marvae:

Yes. Sure. So now you, are you, your scholarship? When do you go back to school or what is that gonna look like? Like September or

Gavin:

Yeah, the beginning of September is when I'm gonna be starting my level two class. Actually, um, the classes weren't that expensive at first. They, the scholarship from my school, my school is partnered with Germana. That's where I'm doing my classes at, so they

Marvae:

Oh, okay.

Gavin:

for that. yeah. Mm-hmm.

Marvae:

That's way, way cool. Way, way. Cool. So then you'll be there and you're still gonna hold your job. Keep your job.

Gavin:

Y. Yeah, I am

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

gonna be trying to work as much as I can at my job. I also want to try to get an apprenticeship when I start my class too, so it depends really.

Marvae:

Tell me about,. A recent car accident that you were in, and how that, has that changed anything? Just tell, tell me how it happened. What, what, what happened?

Gavin:

So a month ago. I got into a crash, um, a severe one. It was really bad. I probably flipped like five times. It was down a highway too, actually. Um, yeah, it was traumatic after that accident, um, I went to the hospital, I was took to the trauma room and everything. Thankfully, I, I was blessed or something because I don't know how I was not injured. I had a, a CT scan done, an x-ray, all that and nothing, no critical injuries or nothing. Um, I was just sore to due to the seatbelt from the impact, but that, that was it.

Marvae:

How did it happen?

Gavin:

So. Um, was this, there was this other high schooler driving behind me and so he was trying to get, I guess, to the school I was heading to, a school I was heading to. I. Kings George High School. I was going down Kings Highway and um, I guess he was heading there too. And so he was speeding a bit and cutting in front of other cars and everything. So he sped up behind me, switched lanes, and then he cut right

Marvae:

You make a big one if

Gavin:

I

Marvae:

you wanna make a big one.

Gavin:

lanes, um, to get into the other one. It was partially my fault

Marvae:

A visual.

Gavin:

I didn't realize was speeding up to, because the lane that he was previously in that he switched from, he was also speeding up ahead to, because it was clear. That's why I was switching. And so

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

He was in my blind spot, and so I switched lanes not knowing that. That car was there, and so he spun me out and so I star, I started flipping into a ditch and everything. I actually went flying, like there's dash cam footage that I have that me that I was like, I flew up in the air, hit the ground

Marvae:

Wow.

Gavin:

Everything. It was, it was bad. Yeah.

Marvae:

That you're here.

Gavin:

Mm-hmm.

Marvae:

What a blessing. Wow. And you still wanna drive after that. I can't even imagine.

Gavin:

it, it wasn't days a after that, after I came back from the hospital and everything, I, it wasn't that bad. Yeah, it went through my head a lot. But after the first time when I got back on the road, it, um. It wasn't that bad. I, I wasn't that scared of driving again, to be honest, because I know that I, I have to drive again eventually. Like I, I have to deal with that.

Marvae:

Yeah. Yeah,

Gavin:

I,

Marvae:

we all have to get behind the wheel and drive.

Gavin:

Mm-hmm. And so fine with that and yeah, I, I overcame it. I don't think about it that much anymore. So.

Marvae:

Yeah. Well, I'm glad you're here, so, so as we wrap up, is there anything that you can share? With other parents that might be watching this that are struggling with their child, their high schooler, and you know, is there, is there anything that you can offer, maybe some kids that are listening as well as parents? Um, for example, was I. Was it your parents? Were you just tired of, of the, of your behavior or did you, were you sad watching your parents be frustrated? You know, you know what I mean? I.

Gavin:

Keep trying, keep, um, what you can for your kid. Um, my, I was, I was sad. Like eventually I was like, I had like a whole mental breakdown. Like one day I looked back these photos that I've had from a can Nobles actually, um, trip that we go on every year. Um, of my family and one time I, I just started breaking down. Like, I started like apologizing to my family. I was crying and everything. Like, I was like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Marvae:

Wow.

Gavin:

It, it was a very emotional moment because I, I knew what I'd done when I was younger. I, I guess I, I didn't think that it wasn't okay, which it clear clearly wasn't okay. It wasn't, um.

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

But yeah,

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

was like a breaking point that day. I was like, I'm sorry, like I apologized and everything. I was breaking down, crying, all that like it, it was sad,

Marvae:

It, it's tough for us as parents when, when we watch our kids go through things, you know, we went through stuff too. Growing up may not have been as bad, but when you watch your child making mistakes and going through tough times and you can't. Do anything to stop them. You know, you may have talked to them, you may have had conversations, there might be doctors involved and even medication, and sometimes you just have to let the child go through what they're going through and hope that they're gonna come out on the other end. Okay? You know, which is why I really wanted you here. I wanted you to share your story because it is. Very compelling. And there's parents out there that you know don't know what to do, or sometimes the comfort of listening to someone such as yourself, having put your parents through so much and you put yourself through so much, but then you came out, you know, you made decisions to change and that's key for a teenager. Even a teenager. So, uh, it, it's, it's truly amazing. I can't wait to see what you do, um, ahead, you know, coming, moving forward. You, you know how to save money, you know how to work. Um, do you know how to clean? Do you clean your room?

Gavin:

I do, I do. I do glean my room. I do. Um.

Marvae:

That's good.

Gavin:

not the best at it, but I, I've, I've, I've learned doing that growing up. Obviously my mom would have

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

On my own, obviously, and I'm glad because obviously you don't want your family doing everything for you then in the future, you have no clue,

Marvae:

Yeah.

Gavin:

Yeah.

Marvae:

And then you said she, she works nights, so it's good to kind of help out if she has tasks or something

Gavin:

Yeah.

Marvae:

have off time. You can help her out a little bit. That, that's, that would be great.

Gavin:

Yeah.

Marvae:

Um,

Gavin:

yeah, I do.

Marvae:

yeah. That's cool. Well, Gavin, it was my absolute pleasure having you on today, and you'll get another invite soon. We will talk and we will, you know, moving forward maybe in a couple of months or. I wanna check in, see where you're at, see what you've done. Did you become this electrician or something bigger and better, or whatever it is. We can touch base again. We can, we can, you can come back on and, and share more of, of, uh, some good stories.

Gavin:

Yeah,

Marvae:

Sound good?

Gavin:

Yeah.

Marvae:

Yeah. Great. Okay, Gavin, well thank you so much for sharing your story and we will talk soon.