The Four Agreements Book Review

This episode breaks down the core ideas from The Four Agreements and connects them to what it really means to be coachable in sports, business, and life. It highlights four simple but powerful principles - being intentional with your words, not taking things personally, avoiding assumptions, and always doing your best - and explains how each one can improve mindset, communication, and performance. The episode focuses on how adopting these habits helps you handle feedback better, stay focused under pressure, and grow faster both on and off the field.

Transcript

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The Coachable Players Podcast. This show is built on a simple but powerful belief the most successful athletes, employees, and business leaders all share a trait. They are coachable. These episodes, uh, with these episodes, I hope to sit down with former athletes, business owners, coaches, and professionals to uncover the lessons that come from being open to feedback, learning under pressure, and growing into better leaders. But today, instead of an interview, we're gonna change it up a little bit here. So welcome back to the show. And today we're talking about a book. It's small in size, but massive. It's massive in wisdom. It's called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. And I gotta tell you, it's freaking awesome. I love this book. So, so before I get to the book and the and do describe it and everything, I just want to dedicate today's show to my fellow Northside Elementary classmates. I went to Northside Northside Elementary in Mechanicsburg School District. And if there was a class reunion or some sort of some sort of survey or contest saying, who amongst the class from Northside Elementary is going to do a book review? I would probably come in last on that list. I was uh I don't want to brag, but I'm pretty sure I was the best kickball player there. But uh, you know, when it came to scholar activities and and and classroom work, uh I I just had amazing, awesome geniuses at Northside Elementary. People like Matt Aschenfelder, Ben Breach, Jen Miller, to name a few, and and there's lots and lots more, you know. Um just awesome people. But again, you know, I learned from them. Uh, but when it came to kickball, they picked me first, and when it came to who was the best uh spelling bee champion, they got picked first, and I didn't get picked first. Okay, so we're doing a book review today on the Coachable Players Podcast, and this is exciting. This is my favorite book, second favorite behind the Bible. Um, so if you ever wanted to live with less stress, less trauma, and more peace of mind, this is the book for you. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The book gives us four simple principles to follow or agreements that can totally shift how we see ourselves and how we interact with others. Now, before I jump into the book and the four agreements, and before I share my notes, you know, from the book, let me just talk about how I heard of heard of this book. So I'm a diehard Pittsburgh fan. I love the Steelers, Penguins, Pirates, Pitt, you name it. You know, that's that's where my heart is. You know, I love cheering for the black and gold. Uh that those are my teams. I love it, you know. And uh, you know, as a Steeler fan, it doesn't really sit well when you see the Patriots going to the Super Bowl and winning all these Super Bowls, and Tom Brady just win after win after win, and you know, just celebrated as the best quarterback ever, you know, and and it doesn't sit well with Steeler Nation and kind of hurts, you know. It hurts a little bit, you know. Um, but anyways, it was, I think it was 2012. The 2012 Super Bowl, New England Patriots versus the New York Giants. Uh, spoiler alert in case you recorded it and haven't watched it yet, the Giants won that. That's the second time they played in the Super Bowl. Eli Manning and the Giants won that Super Bowl. But pregame, during the the, what is it, like a 12-hour pregame, all these crazy Super Bowl pregames, they have a ton of interviews, and it's crazy, it's just talking about whatever, and sports junkies like me watch some of it. You know, I don't watch all of it, but I did I did what I do watch pregame interviews. So, in the one interview, Tom Brady is is talking to someone, and they're going on and on about, you know, this is your fifth Super Bowl, you've been in the league a little over 10 years, and this is your fifth Super Bowl. What's what's something we might not know about you that's led to your success? And Tom Brady said, when I was in college at Michigan, I get introduced to this book called The Four Agreements, which I'm holding up right now, the Four Agreements. And as a Steeler fan, I'm like, oh, this book has to suck. It has to be horrible. If if a Patriot quarterback likes it, it's probably horrible, you know. So I watched the game. Like I said, spoiler alert, sorry if you haven't watched it yet, but the the Giants went on to win the game. A couple days passed, and you know, I'm kind of happy. Patriots lost, that's a cool feeling. And then it started dawning on me about, you know, Tom Brady is really good at playing football. He's he's awesome technique-wise, leadership-wise, across the board. Just a great, a great person to follow. What's that book he mentioned? So I started looking online and I'm researching, and that's when I looked up the four agreements. So I purchased the four agreements, and I think I read it three times in the first year, and I have it all marked up, and I have stuff highlighted, and it's it's a pretty amazing book, it's an awesome book. And I I don't think maybe this isn't an accurate statement, whatever, but uh, had I not read this book, not quite sure I would be in the position I am in I am today, leading a commercial construction association and representing 100 plus you know construction companies. It really changes the way I look at life, it changed my leadership style, the way I interact with people. Uh, it's it's just been awesome. It's really cool. So that's why I thought with this outlet, with this venue that I have with the Coachable Players podcast, I'd like to do this book review and hope others will read it. Um and somehow I'm gonna do a contest because I bought a couple books and I'm gonna do a contest to give some copies out because I really want others to read it and hope that it improves their life. So that's how I got to this book. So now let me break it down. What are the four agreements mentioned in the book? And just so you know, you can go online, you can Google four agreements, and you could see images of the four agreements. And I printed out an image and I printed it, put it in, you know, nice, a nice little laminated thing next to my bed. So every day I wake up and see it. So I'm constantly pounding these four agreements in my head, and it's you know 10 plus years, you know, so it's it's awesome here. All right, so enough of this of this hype here. Let's talk about the four agreements. What are the four agreements? The first agreement, be impeccable with your word. That word impeccable comes from Latin. It basically means without sin. So being impeccable with your word means using your words honestly and kindly, not to harm yourself or others. Our words have power, they can build people up or they can tear them down, they can shape how we see ourselves. Think about it. When you say I'm terrible at this or I'll never be good enough, your brain believes it. But when you say I'm learning, I'm improving, that becomes your truth. I tell my daughters all the time, I'm like, think about what you just said, like I hate school or I hate doing this. You're going into something with a with a negative mindset already. So you need to you need to think about how you approach life and how you talk about life. And you know, your words are so powerful, so freaking powerful. People don't people do not understand how powerful the words are. So this agreement is all about speaking with integrity, using your words in the direction of truth and love. The second agreement is don't take anything personally. This one's tough. This one, uh, you know, is especially tough. I'm a stubborn Irishman, the son of a stubborn Irishman, so it's it's really tough, you know. But it's powerful, it's a powerful agreement. Don't take anything personally. Rue says that's nothing says that nothing others do is because of you. What people say or what they do is a reflection of their reality, it's not yours. If someone criticizes you, you know, rips on you, jokes on you, does whatever, that's about their own beliefs, it's their own plan or their own story. When we stop taking things personally, you stop letting people's emotions control your peace. It's like emotional armor, not cold or defensive, but calm and grounded. You can listen, respond, and move on without carrying that negativity with you. Number three, don't make assumptions. How often do we make assumptions in life? It's all the time. And I think it's getting worse in uh, you know, the increasing of texting and and and non-verbal communication. I think it's getting worse. So we assume that someone, we assume what someone's thinking. We assume why they didn't text back, we assume what they meant by a comment, and we usually, most of the time, I think we assume the worse. Ruaz is advice, ask questions and communicate clearly, communicate better. If you're unsure, just say, hey, can you clarify what you meant? Instead of sitting there and just running games in your head, whatever. Just text back and just you know, ask them to clarify what exactly they meant. Most conflict comes not from what was said, but what was assumed. Think about that in your life. All the conflict you've had recently, did it come from what was said or what was assumed in your head? When we stop assuming, we stop writing stories that aren't true. Number four, always do your best. Or, as we say in the O'Brien household, be great today. That's a little saying we have that started with Elena, my little competitive cheer, competitive cheer national champion. Her and I started doing that 10 years ago and kept it alive ever since, you know. But that's that's another podcast. The fourth agreement, always do your best. This one ties it all together. Your best will change from day to day. Some days you're energized and sharp, other days you're drained. That's normal, that's life, you know. Some days you have it, you're feeling great, you're ready to go. Other days you need a little kick, a little boost, a little something to get you going, you know. The key is to just do your best with what you have in that moment. Always do your best. When you do that, you stop judging yourself, you stop regretting the past, you can look back and say, you know what? I did my best today. You can sleep good at night knowing you did your best today. That's how you build self-respect. One day at a time. Just building blocks, one day at a time. Just build, build, build, build, build. Always do your best. So as a wrap up, the four agreements. Number one, be impeccable with your word. Number two, don't take anything personally. Number three, don't make assumptions. Number four, always do your best. Simple ideas, all very simple. It sounds so simple. It looks like a small book, it seems like a simple idea in this book. But if you actually live them, they can completely transform your mindset, your relationships, and your happiness. And remember, as Don Miguel Ruiz says, when you practice these agreements, your life will become filled with grace, ease, and love. Thanks for tuning in today. If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who could use a little reminder to live with more peace and love. Until next time, stay humble, stay hungry, and stay coachable.