#212- The Truth About Patience, Purpose, and Not Settling

This week on The Salisha Show, Salisha Thomas opens up about one of the most personal and transformative chapters of her life: her decision to wait until marriage and what that long journey taught her about patience, purpose, and trusting divine timing. From growing up in a strict and faith-filled household to navigating college, touring, dating, and the pressures and teasing of others, Salisha shares the emotional reality behind choosing to wait and the strength it took to honor her own values.

In this vulnerable and deeply human solo episode, she reflects on
• What waiting actually looked like through her teens, college years, dating seasons, and touring life
• The misconceptions and judgments she faced from others
• What it meant to stay true to herself even when the world told her she was behind
• The moment she had a powerful vision that shifted everything
• How meeting her husband Andrew confirmed what alignment really feels like
• Why timing, energy, and self-respect matter more than timelines

She also shares encouragement for anyone waiting for love, career breakthroughs, self-growth, or clarity. Her message is that waiting is not weakness. Waiting is alignment. Waiting is trust. And what is meant for you will not miss you.

CHAPTERS 

00:22 What waiting really means
00:57 Growing up in a strict and faith-centered household
02:29 Purity, promise rings, and early beliefs
03:42 College, independence, and questioning old rules
05:16 Touring, dating, and the teasing she endured
07:27 Why the choice still mattered to her
07:59 The vision that changed everything
09:08 Meeting Andrew and knowing instantly
10:14 What alignment feels like
11:09 Lessons on patience, timelines, and self-worth
13:00 The loneliness and strength behind choosing to wait
14:07 Why waiting sometimes means not settling
15:33 You are not behind
16:00 Final encouragement and closing

Episode Recorded at: Gotham Production Studios

@salishathomas @thesalishashow, www.thesalishashow.com

Many thanks to Gotham Network in NYC, TyNia Brandon for writing and laying vocals down for the updated theme song and Big Red Studios for the intro video wherever you watch the latest season of The Salisha Show!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Hey, what's up and welcome or welcome back to an episode of the Salicia Show. It's your host, Salicia Thomas. I'm here in Gotham Production Studios in Midtown Manhattan, and I'm so happy to be on the Gotham Network. Thank y'all for having me. And today I want to talk to you about waiting. Waiting. Waiting. What comes to mind when we think about waiting? Actually, the first thing that comes to mind is wait for, wait for, wait for. I am the one thing lap in control. But this is actually a different context. I waited for marriage. I was the literal 30-year-old virgin. Oh my gosh. I cannot believe I did that. It was actually one of the hardest things I ever did. But before I really get into it, I just want to like state that even though we're talking about this, waiting is a universal concept, whether you're waiting for that career breakthrough, waiting to feel confident in yourself, waiting for your life to begin to align, waiting for a message for from God, or maybe you're waiting for your person, whatever it is you're waiting for, I just want to encourage you right now and say that if you've waited this long, there's a reason why. And that whatever that thing is, it's worth the wait. It's worth the wait. Hang in there and be patient. But let's back up. Okay, just for context, both of my grandfathers, rest in peace, were both pastors. My um Paw Paw in Arkansas was a pastor. My grandpa out in California was a pastor and started the church that I still go to whenever I'm in Fresno, California, West Side Church of God. And I grew up in a pretty strict household. I mean, yeah, my parents were very like both of them. My dad was a fireman for over 35 years. My mom was a court reporter for around the same amount of time. And so both of their jobs, they saw worst-case scenarios whenever they went to work. So they were definitely overprotective when it came to me. With that said, I've been loving Jesus since I came out of the womb. Okay. I I've been an old little saved person for a very, very long time. And at my church, they had like this purity ceremony where we got promise rings and we devoted our bodies and all this stuff to God. Well, and I did that. I did that with pride. I wore my promise ring with pride. That is when I was, oh, I can't remember. I was either 12 or I was 16. I cannot remember, but it was somewhere early life. That was a time in my life when I had no idea exactly what I was promising, or how long I would be waiting, what it actually entailed. I just knew it was the thing to do and it's what I wanted to do. And then college came around. And I I went to school away from home and I realized, oh, the rules are there are no rules. And I don't have to do anything because somebody else is wanting me to. Eventually I went on tour. Now, if there were no rules in college, there were really no rules on tour. The only rule was if you see something, don't say something. Mind your business. Do not focus on what anybody else is doing because you're gonna see a lot of stuff. It's none of your business. Just stay in your lane, mind your business. That's like the only rule. So there is truly no accountability. And when I was on tour, I dated a lot of people. I dated a lot of people. I dated a lot of people. And um, you know, I got teased a lot, not just from people on the road, but just kind of like throughout my life for being a virgin. And I'm like, I don't know if you guys realize that it's a choice. I've been in pr uh plenty of situations where I could have said yes, and I said no, I'm not ready. But I never really got to explain that. I just let people think I was a dweeb or that I just couldn't get laid. And yeah, it hurt my feelings. Some of the things that I heard were do you feel like a real woman since you haven't done it? Like, do you even feel like a real woman? Or like, do you think you're so precious that you're not gonna give it up to anybody? Like, you think you're like so much better than everybody else? You think you're so precious? Like, gosh, no, that's not nope, that's not it. Or I've heard in a room full of other women, like, you couldn't get laid if you tried. No one would ever want to have sex with you. Like I've been humiliated in front of people. And when it comes to this, because it's so personal and it's so layered and it's so complex, and I just don't have the energy or the time to like explain why I've chosen this to everybody who has something to say. I just kind of let people kind of bully me. And I just it hurt, it hurt my feelings, but it was still like my choice. I don't think I never thought, well, because that's what that person thought, I should go do it. Because at the end of the day, I have to live with that choice. Not that person. They're not, they don't care, they don't actually care. I did meet some great guys who I was in long-term relationships with where that was not just what that's just not what we did. We did other things, we did not do that. But I still, there was a line there. But one day before meeting Andrew, I had a vision. Sometimes I have those. Sometimes I have those. Oh my gosh, I look so pregnant. Oh, look at these saggy diddies. Oh yeah. Spoilers. I did it. One day I had this dream, which was not a dream, it was a vision. And in the vision, I can't remember if it was the color green or if it was the color yellow, but it was this bright light coming out of my heart and coming out of my pelvis. And it was so bright and it was vibrating, like it was vibrating my whole body and it was warm. And it was so intense that I actually woke up and realized it was not a dream. And it felt like if you know what chakras are, my chakras had opened up. That's what it felt like. And then I heard a voice, which sometimes I hear those. And this voice said, You're gonna have sex this year. And I spoke back to it and I was like, with who? Because I had just cut ties with every guy who I was casually dating, anybody who I had feelings for. I'm like, I had reached a breaking point where I did not want that anymore. I didn't want to be led on by so-and-so. I didn't want this casual hookup with this person. I just wanted to be single, like truly single. And when I made that decision, I could feel my chakras opening up. That was in January. Then March rolled away around. It was March 3rd when I met Andrew Weiss on Zoom. And I'll get into this story in another episode. But long story short, we were exclusive before the month's end and married within a year and a half after that. It was so fast. Why was it so fast? Because that was my person, and I knew it right away. I knew it right away, and there was nothing anybody could do to stop that train from running down the tracks. It was just, it was once things had aligned, there was nothing anybody could do to stop it. And before I even knew that we were gonna be married, before I knew that we were gonna be like a long-term thing, my soul knew, oh, it's him. Like there was not a doubt in my mind. And so I want to bring this back to you for a minute. Whatever that thing is that you're waiting for, it might feel like it is so far away that it's impossible, that it's never gonna come, that it's never gonna happen. But I just want to encourage you to hang in there. Because when it is time, there's not gonna be anything that anybody can do to stop it. And it's gonna feel, I don't know, exhilarating, exciting, scary, wild. Like it's going to feel like the wildest ride of your life. Whatever it is, maybe you're waiting for the love of your life to come into your life, or your career, or your purpose on this earth, whatever it is. Ask the universe, ask God, whatever, how, whatever you call it, ask it for what you want and trust that it's on its way to you. Okay. So, lessons from this journey that I have written down here. Patience isn't weakness, it's power. In love, career, self-growth. Waiting allows the right things to arrive at the right time. And sometimes what looks like falling behind is really being in alignment. Okay, that's number one. Number two, your worth isn't defined by timelines. Oh my gosh. Love, fulfillment, and self-confidence don't run on a clock. Timelines are all made up, y'all. They're all made up. Who said you have to be married by this time? That you have, well, kids is a little bit different, but not really. People are having kids in their 40s and even in their 50s. So there is that. But timelines are completely made up. And love honors the choices you make for yourself. That's a that's an episode for another day, which we will get into. Love is worth waiting for. Let me say that again for the people in the back. Love is worth waiting for. And I just want to say, like, my decision to wait for 30 years was a very lonely journey. It was a very isolating and lonely choice that I made. I had a lot of lonely nights where all I desired was to be held and to be seen and to be uh deeply understood by another human being. And knowing all I had to do was say yes to that guy, and I could have that, but it didn't feel right. So I I didn't want to betray my soul, so I I said no. And feeling the pain of rejection when a guy who I was interested in knew he wasn't gonna get laid, he wouldn't stick around, and watching somebody walk away from my life who I liked, who I knew how to stop him from walking away, but choosing not to, that was some hard decision making. But in hindsight, I'm so glad that I listened to my soul's cry, that I listened to what my soul needed in that situation. Nobody else knows what it is that you need. Nobody you have to do what you know is right in your own heart. That is universal. So sometimes waiting means leaving toxic relationships behind or holding out for respect and partnership. And sometimes waiting means loving yourself enough to not settle. Let me say that again. Sometimes waiting means loving yourself enough to not settle. And I'm really talking to my girls out there because I I was one of them, and I've got a lot of single girlfriends who got their own house, who got their own car, two jobs. Oh, they're a bad bra. Like they have their lives together. And they're like, where are the where have all the good men gone? And where all the gods. Yeah! Where's the street wise Hercules? Like, literally, like, they're like, what am I doing wrong? The answer is you're not doing anything wrong. Don't settle. Love, career, or your breakthrough moment. In closing, whether you're waiting for love, your career, or your breakthrough moment, whatever that is, don't let the teasing rush you. Don't let other people's timelines rush you. You're not behind. You're exactly where you need to be. Don't let people rush you. Just keep your eyes on the prize and keep going. Everything that is for you will not pass you by. So I hope you feel a little bit of encouragement today that you hang in there and that you are your biggest cheerleader and that you hang in there for one of the things that you actually want. Thanks for listening. This is another episode of The Salicia Show. I'm your host, Salicia Thomas. See you next time.