#237 - You Might Be Someone's Mentor and Not Even Know It

Some of the people who change your life will never know they did.

Sometimes it's a teacher.
Sometimes it's a friend.
Sometimes it's someone you've never even met.

In this episode, Salisha and co-host TyNia Brandon explore what mentorship really looks like, the people who quietly shape our lives, and why you might be inspiring someone without even realizing it.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

•  The Broadway legend who unknowingly inspired Salisha's journey 
•  Why mentorship doesn't always require a formal title 
•  The difference between direct and indirect mentors 
•  How TyNia became a mentor simply by sharing what she knew 
•  Why gatekeeping helps no one and information creates opportunity 
•  The importance of dreaming bigger than what's considered realistic 
•  How your example may be opening doors for someone you've never met 
•  Why sometimes you have to become the mentor you needed 

Whether you're searching for guidance or wondering if you're making a difference, this conversation is a reminder that your impact often reaches further than you'll ever know.

CHAPTERS

[01:20] Welcome back with co-host TyNia Brandon

[02:12] The unexpected Broadway encounter that inspired this conversation

[03:59] What mentorship really looks like

[05:18] TyNia's biggest mentors and the lessons they've taught her

[09:02] Becoming a mentor before you feel "ready"

[11:43] Why gatekeeping hurts the next generation

[15:25] Oprah, Anika Noni Rose, and dreaming bigger

[17:20] Family support, Broadway, and believing in impossible dreams

[20:30] When you have to become your own encouragement

[23:33] You may be mentoring someone without even knowing it

@salishathomas @thesalishashow, www.thesalishashow.com

Many thanks to Gotham Network in NYC, TyNia Brandon for writing and laying vocals down for the updated theme song and Big Red Studios for the intro video wherever you watch the latest season of The Salisha Show!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I just think people should have information. What's important to me is that people have information so that they can decide. Because once you know something, you can decide what you want to do.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

What does it really look like to build your dream life while you're living it? One day I'm on stage singing with Hugh Jackman at 36 weeks pregnant, just trying not to give birth in Oklahoma. And the next, I'm having real conversations about love, loss, career pivot, and becoming someone I didn't even know I could be. Because this show isn't just about Broadway, it's about the moments that change you, the risks you take, the dreams you almost talk yourself out of, the strength you don't realize you have until life asks you to use it. If you've ever felt like you're in between chapters or stepping into something new, you're not alone. You're just getting started. This is the Salicia Show, where Broadway meets culture and your real life becomes the main event. Hello, and welcome or welcome back to another episode of The Salicia Show. I'm your host, Salicia Thomas, and I am here with my girl, my ride of die, my work wife, my co-producer, Tinya Brandon, reporting live from Uruguay. Yes. How are you today? What's up? How are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 1:25

I'm good. I don't know if you can tell. The sun is very, very bright here right now. It's a little bit chilly because it's it's fall where I am, and I think it's spring where you are, but it's still really pretty outside, and I always like that. I always like when the sun is shining. The sun right now is like casting like a bounce on my on my chin, which I very much appreciate.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Listen, she looks good. She looks good, okay? You looking good over there. I I so here's what I would like to talk about today. Great. Before we get into it, right before I walked into this podcast studio, I was on the sidewalk with Gabrielle Elizabeth, our girl. Oh, okay. And right, and we ran into Josh Prince, the original choreographer for Beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Oh my gosh! On the streets of New York. I haven't seen him in so long.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

On the streets of New York, and right before we ran into Josh Prince, I was standing on 38th facing West. Okay. And this beautiful black woman was crossing the street, and I knew exactly who it was before I even knew who it was. And I was talking to Gab, whose back was facing her, and I said, hold on, Gab, just give me a second. Was it who so? No. Oh. I do love me some who so. It was not whoso. Okay. It was Anika Noni Rose. Oh. The original voice of Princess Tiana and Princess and the Frog. The Laurel in the Dream Girls movie with Beyonce and J Hud.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Anika Noni. She was walking across the street and then she was coming up, passing me on the sidewalk, and I was like, Gab, just give me a second. And she looked at me and she saw me see her, and I just smiled at her and let her pass. And she smiled back. And my heart stopped because she has been such a significant part of my journey, even though we've never met. I did not accost her on the street. And she has no idea. I didn't, I didn't. I'm not that girl. I'm at least not usually. It would take, I don't know what it would take for me to be that girl, but I did not accost her, but I just have this huge thank you in my heart because she has inspired so much of my journey. And so even though she has not been a direct mentor in my life, sure. She has indirectly, indirectly been a mentor in my life. And so for this episode, I'd like to talk about mentorship.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

I love that. I love that. And Anika Notti Rose is like the perfect example, I think, of like an indirect mentor. I feel like she's been like that for so many little black girls across America. You and me both, you know? She's an icon in my heart. And like, and her work expands like so much further past like Tiana. Like, I I appreciate the work that she's done on Broadway and plays and things like that. And I think that's why she's in New York right now. I believe she's in a play on Broadway, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:30

What is she working on?

SPEAKER_01 4:31

It looks like she was coming out of the city. I should I would be, I should be like kicking myself for not knowing exactly what she's doing. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

I believe she's in a play on Broadway right now. Um, but I cannot for the life of me place what it is.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

No, I don't know what it is either. I just know that I love her. I know that Jingle Jangle is my favorite Christmas movie that I have to watch every year now. I love me some Jingle Jangle.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Yes, that's a it's a it's a gorgeous movie. It's a gorgeous movie. I I um me or my partner are often singing the songs from that film, and it's it's a really good one. But yeah, it's joyful. What a great way to start a conversation about about mentorship. She's like, she's so good. Who are some mentors that you have had like over time?

SPEAKER_00 5:18

No, I want to start with you. Oh man. You answer that question. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

You know what? You know, the first person that I'm actually thinking of right now is probably Natasha Yvette Williams. She and I were I love her. Yeah, she's fantastic. She and I were both in some Like It Hot. She played Sweet Two, yeah. And I was one of her understudies. But I loved I didn't know you understudied that character. I did, I did. Her and Sugar. Her and Adriana, who you've also had on the show. Adriana Hicks. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I wish I could have seen you as that as sugar. That's so iconic. They called me petite Sue instead of sweet Sue.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

That's awesome. That's awesome. You can literally do anything, Ty. You can do anything.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

That's nice, Salish. Thanks for saying that. But no, I think of Natasha definitely as one of those people who have kind of mentored me through my career. And I don't even know if she knows that or not, but I believe that sitting backstage with her, watching her work in rehearsal, watching her work on her other projects, she's also a writer. She is incredibly involved with um arts organizations. She's one of the founders and board members of Black Theater United. So just kind of being in her presence and watching her navigate her career, her family, and her uh, I was about to say philanthropy work, which yes, I I think I would say that that is true. That has been uh a huge inspiration to me in figuring out how I can navigate my my own career.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Was she did she begin to take um like that role in your life from working with her or like who what about beforehand? Because you've always been like you've always had a producer brain since I've known you. That's and that was before Sunlack and Hop.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

Well, I yes, I I will say the answer is yes, because I did know of her work beforehand. Like I I knew about her work in in um in Tina, the musical, but even before that, like she was the original uh Sophia in Color Purple, and she has done like a million tours. So, like, yes, I've been familiar with her for a really long time. But what kind of put her really on my radar as somebody to um to want to be close to was when she started working on Tina because she was doing Tina at the same time as my good friend Dion was doing Tina on Broadway. Relief for Lee? Yes, yes. Oh, I love Dion! Yes, me too. That's my bestie. But yes, they were working together and and Dion would talk to me about her. Dion was like, I just feel like we need to wrap her up and bubble wrap and keep her safe all the time because we need her, we need her around. And I was like, I hear you, I hear you. So when she finished that and you know, we both got cast and some like it hot, I like immediately was like, hello, hi. And also, too, she's she's from North Carolina as well. She's from Fayetteville, North Carolina, and I'm from Charlotte, North Carolina. So I felt like we had to immediately just like make that hometown connection. Same with Dion. Dion lived in Fayetteville for a significant part of his life, so Carolina peeps, we stick together.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

I love that. Also, not for nothing, Ty. I feel like, and I I I wonder, because I actually don't know this about you or not. Do you mentor anybody in a like official setting type of thing or um unofficially? Do you do any mentorship? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

I would say uh uh maybe officially and unofficially, but interestingly enough, I don't know who I'm maybe like indirectly mentoring. I'm I'm not sure. Probably a lot. I don't know. I'll I'll say I hope there's somebody that maybe uh looks at me and says, Oh, she's doing something right, you know.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

But I or doing something that I want to do, and I can learn from her, which is why you have your course because you know that people can learn from you.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

That's right, that's right. And I and also too, I just think people should have information. What's important to me is that people have information so that they can decide, right? Because once you know something, you can decide what you want to do with that information or do nothing with it. You know, that's also a a decision. But yes, so I do I do have a couple of I have I have one person um who uh was a student at uh ANT and she came with a group of students to see I don't remember if it was Lion King or Sun Liked Hot, but I remember her coming up to me after the show when we were like doing one of those talkbacks and just like seeing the people and stuff like that, and she said, I know your work, I'm I'm actually in town longer than this trip. Can we have coffee? And I was like, Oh, okay, sure.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

Yeah, I would imagine you would get that a lot.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

Oh no, not a lot, not a lot, but I I was actually kind of surprised to get this one. But I was like, Yeah, sure. I'm like, I'm I'm sure you want to like ask questions about the biz or whatever, like, and I'll I'll I'll tell you what I know. So we went and got coffee, and she sat me down and she straight up said directly, like, I would like for you to be my mentor. And I was like, Oh. And at the time I didn't even think, I was like, girl, I haven't even done enough yet. I was like, there's so many things I still want to do. And I was very, you know, vulnerable with her. I was like, you know, I still feel like I'm figuring out so many things myself, but like I'm happy to share with you whatever, whatever I feel like you know, you should know. And and if you have any questions, you know, don't hesitate to to come to me and ask me things. She's texted me every now and again, like, hey, do you know of any fellowships and stuff? So I will send her, you know, emails like, yes, BTU is doing this, or um, these organizations are coming up in North Carolina that you, if you want to work alongside them, let me know if you're ever in the city, things like that. So, yes, I I feel like mentorship is incredibly important because, like I said, folks need information. And once they have the information, they can do what they want.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

Okay, this is one of the many reasons why I love you because I feel like the generation that has come before us, well, not the not Gen X, but like my parents' generation. There's a lot of gatekeepers. And people, a lot of not everybody, but a lot of people like to gatekeep, which makes the younger generation and our generation like have to go digging for answers. And I love what you said of like when you know the answers, opening up the door for the people coming up behind us, it just like, why don't we, why not help each other out? Why not share the knowledge that we have? Get the scarcity mindset out of the way, in the trash, out the door. And like, there's room for everybody.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

There's and I truly don't believe that anything is really scarce. I think that, I think that is just something that is projected to make everybody feel like they have to like be in competition with each other, right? Um, but I I don't believe in scarcity because art is abundant and any type of art that wants to be made can be made. And that's not to say that every piece of art will necessarily become like mainstream or like the biggest thing and have like a trillion followers or a trillion eyes on it or anything like that. But when we're talking about artistry and why I think mentorship is so important, it's just because like this this is an abundant thing. It is it is like energy, it is neither created nor destroyed. Well, I guess art is created, but like it's always around us, is is is kind of what I feel like it can always be yeah, you can pull art out of out of nothing. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Also, the thing that you said that struck something with me was I feel like I'm nowhere near done. Like I'm still learning and doing and growing. Well, yeah, but like does anybody ever feel do you do you know anybody that ever feels done? Feels done? Like no. Yes! No, no, right? Like, and that's the beautiful part of not just our industry, but as like humans, where is the endpoint? I think when I was writing my book, I somebody said something along those lines of it's never gonna feel done. It's never gonna feel perfect, but at some point, you gotta hit publish. That's right. At some point you have to just really Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even if it's not what is perfect, what is that?

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Yeah, but it's who who have been who have been like your mentors over time? Because I know, like I know that you you had all the this inspiration when we were, of course, in the beautiful dressing room, and you were like, Okay, I'm gonna do this podcast, but then like soon after that, you were like, I'm writing a book, I'm living by closely, I'm having a baby, I'm getting married, I'm doing all these things, and I'm like, Woo! It kind of seemed like everything really took off really, really quickly for you, and you felt very uh grounded and ready for it. Did you have somebody who was kind of like navigating you through that, or were you just kind of like trusting life as it came?

SPEAKER_00 14:48

I have always been so afraid to ask ask the people who I look up to for mentorship. I've never asked anybody formally to be my mentor. I just will study the people who I truly deeply admire. I study them from far away, just like Anika walked by me on the sidewalk, and I'm just like, I see this goddess coming, not a stitch of makeup, and still looking perfect, like just fabulous. Yeah. And I'm like, and my heart stopped, and I just had a thank you in my soul for her. That's usually how I approach life. And if I had to say somebody who has been my mentor, who obviously I've never met, it would be Oprah, which feels so silly. That feels so silly. Ty, I have felt like a fool, like an idiot when people are like, Who do you want to be like when you grow up? And I'm like, I really like Oprah's model. And I've taken classes before when somebody was like, Well, okay, duh, everybody wants to be like Oprah, so name somebody else. And I'm like, I mean, I get it. Like she's like a household name.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Yeah, but if that's your pillar, I hate that people have discouraged you from that.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Like, you know, that's oh no, no, no, no, no. I did not get discouraged. I felt like, how dare you watch me. There you go. There you go. People always try to step on my dreams because I dream big, and they're big scary dreams that don't look possible. I look like a crazy person when I say my true dreams out loud. And there have been many people who are like, You sound nuts.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

No, and so well, I think big dreams should be should be kind of crazy. Like that's that's what they're for, you know. At one point in time for both of us, like Broadway was the big crazy dream, right? And then it happens. Yes, you know, it always sounds crazy until it happens. I feel like Tabitha Brown says that she's like, yeah, it always sounds crazy and then it's done.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

And then it's done. I feel like, and I don't know about you, or maybe I do. Have you told me about this? I was fortunate enough to have parents who did not discourage me from pursuing the theater. They wanted me to be a lawyer, they wanted me to do other types of careers, but when I chose theater, they did not discourage me. The one thing that my mom did say was because I told her one day, I'm moving to New York City. It was not me asking for permission. I said, I already bought my ticket and I'm moving on this date. And she said, Okay. And she just said, the day you move to New York, I'm no longer paying for your rent. You're on your own. I'll pay for it as long as you are like down the street in Southern California, but I won't pay for it in New York. And I said, Okay. And I started paying for my own rent when I moved here in the city, and I was fortunate enough to be to book Beautiful, the the tour two weeks after I got here, and we did the thing. We did the thing. And it wasn't until later where my mom was like, I cannot believe you actually did it. She was like, I was really nervous. And even after I was doing the thing, Ty, did I ever tell you this? During the pandemic, you were doing something with Lion King and it was on our TV screens. Okay. Do you remember doing something with Lion King on the TV? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Yes, I did, yeah, I did a couple of things. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

You okay, it was on our TV screen.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

So I said yes to everything.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

Well, it was you and a few others in boxes because everybody was at home recording on Zoom. Right. And it was on behalf of the Lion King, and it was on our real TVs, not like it was TV. And my mom was watching it, and I was like, Oh, that's my girl Ty. She was like, You know her? And I'm like, Yes, we did beautiful together. She's amazing. And I literally started singing your praises. And my mother, God bless her, was like, she's really good. You have to compete against her and people like her. No.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

No. No, we end up working together anyway.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

I was like, mom, I have many friends who are so talented, and I try not to have a competition mindset when I am with them or in their sphere, even though it does feel like it could be a competition. I that's just not how I like to look at it. And here we are being able to work with each other and singing your praises does not take away from who I am.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

That's right. That's right. And who do you did you did you like know that already on your own? Or did you have like a teacher or like even like a friend who who always who you could kind of look to and be like, yo, we got this? Because I kind of feel like that that would also count as like mentorship too. Sometimes it just takes like having a friend on the other side of the phone, just being like, nah, girl, you could, you know. Do you think you had that kind of on your own, or or was there another person in your ear always encouraging you to believe that your big dreams were possible, but also remind you that we're not in competition. We're we're side by side in this.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

I will be so mad at myself if we get off of this episode and I think of so many better answers, Ty. But the truth is, uh right now, and there have been so many inspirational people in my life who have just completely inspired me indirectly, and some who have inspired me directly. But there, I think a lot of my life choices are because of what I didn't have and what I didn't see. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

You had you kind of had to be it for yourself sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

Yeah. And I don't want that to be my answer.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

Well, I mean, that's okay. Salicia, that's your truth right now. And that's and that's and that's okay. That's okay. I think I mean I think that's I think that's real, and and also I I think that's something that that people should hear too. Like sometimes you do have to be your own encouragement. Sometimes you really do have to just like pull up and encourage yourself. You know what I'm saying? Um Yes, yes. So so I don't necessarily think that that's that's a bad thing, but I guess like just in the spirit of us having this conversation about mentorship today, I think it's important for people to kind of know both sides, right? Sometimes you do have to encourage yourself, but also don't don't hinder yourself from finding that person who could be, you know, just the last person you texted, or who could be a parent, or who could be. I just thought as we've been sitting here talking, I thought about my dance teacher that I grew up with, Tanitra Oates. She has been, she has been so influential in my life as far as just like asking what she really does that I think benefits me most is she just asks me questions. What's going on? Okay, tell me why you're doing this. Well, why are you interested in this project? Well, what new skills are you learning? Just things like that. Not even necessarily trying to teach me anything, just asking me questions to make me think about uh what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, and always making sure that I kind of have a North Star that I'm going toward. I think that that is just as beautiful and just as um mentorial. Is that a word? I have no idea.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

It's a word now. It's a word now. I'm not sure. I mean, it also speaks to, and here's the thing, there's been so many people who have been rooting me on for my journey. So that's not what I'm saying. I'm talking about like side-by-side mentor being like other than Shantea McIntyre, who is she's got 10 years on me, and I always feel like she's a few steps ahead. I love quoting her. So yeah, she has been in my life. That she's been an inspiration in many ways. But I think there is something to be said about like when I think about mentorship, I think about people who have touched my life who have no idea that they've even touched my life. And so taking it back to you or anybody who is watching this, you have no idea how you might be influencing somebody else. You have no idea that you might be filling a hole or a spot for somebody looking to you of what do I do next? And they've never even met you. You don't even know their name, and you are helping pave a path for them. They are seeing you because you did it, they know that they can do it too. You're trailblazing and you don't even know that you're doing it.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

Now that's a word. That's that's that's a good word to end on right there. Be a mentor and don't be afraid to seek out mentorship from others as well.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Okay, that part. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right, and let's leave it right there. Thank you for joining me for this series. And we got we got more in us, I think. I think we got more in us.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

I'll be here. I'll be around for, you know.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

Listen, I can talk to you all day. Thank you for tuning in for another episode of the Silicia Show. We will see you next week.