What “Doing the Work” Actually Means (And How to Start Changing Your Life) - Episode 7

Everyone says you need to “do the work”.

But what does that actually mean?

In this episode, we break down what “doing the inner work” has looked like for us, and how it completely changed our lives.

We share the turning point that started everything, the tools we’ve used, and what it really takes to go from feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and disconnected… to slowly rebuilding your life from the inside out.

Inside this episode:

• What “doing the work” actually means (in real life)
• The moment everything started to change for us
• How meditation, visualization, and hypnotherapy helped rewire our thinking
• Why small daily actions matter more than big breakthroughs
• How to start, even if you have no idea what you’re doing

We also talk about overcoming depression, breaking old patterns, and learning how to take control of your life, one step at a time.

This isn’t about being perfect.

It’s about showing up, doing the work, and becoming someone new in the process.

If you feel stuck, lost, or like you know you need to change but don’t know where to start, this episode will help you take that first step.

New episodes every week!

Follow along as we navigate what it really looks like to rebuild your life, together.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

So, Ken, I thought we could talk about today something that people ask me a lot, which is what we mean when we say that we've been doing the work. The inner work, yeah. I know a bunch of our friends and family have asked us that, and we've tried to discreetly describe what we mean by that, because it's a whole thing to unpack, really. It's not just like a neat little answer that we have. There's so many moving parts to that. And really where it all started, this growth journey that we've been on, was last year in February 2024.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

When we attended the Mine Valley Manifestation Summit.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

And that really broke the floodgates for us. Like everything came out for us that weekend, and it was an amazing event.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

It did, because we were doing the work. So we're gonna look in how can we change the way we think? How can we improve our lives? Yeah. So we were we were doing the work.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Yeah, we've always done the work. I feel like that event is what, like I said, they opened the floodgates for us.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, we had a good time in Miami all weekend.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Yeah, two or three days, the summit. Something like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

There was basically all day, the majority of the people that assist to those kind of summits, they're open-minded, they're looking for growth.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

They're business-minded, spiritual, the whole yeah, and was actually uh like a sort of an awakening, right? You had a new perspective after we got out of the summit. That's really good. For sure. And we felt some sort of a alignment, like, oh, yeah, this is it. We have to do a lot of work. So kind of hammering the rocks per se, but we didn't know where to go after, you know. But then yeah, this is it. You have to start digging, you have to trust sculpting your inner mind and your inner soul, basically your inner world. Yes, you know, about that. But yeah, it was very excited to be there for two days. Um, I think it was two days. It was two days now that I'm remembering.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

I have a list of people who were there, it was just so interesting. So the founder of Mind Valley, which is Vishan Lakyani, he was there and he's really inspirational. He talked a lot. Regan Hillier, she's a manifestation coach and entrepreneur, a bunch of other things. She really blew my mind. Like she did meditations that I was never actually ever able to meditate before I went there. I had done it in different ways. There was Michael Bernard Beckwith, who's a spiritual leader. He was featured in The Secret. I read that book a million times in my early 20s.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

And we had the DVD too. Yeah, right. Neil Donald Walsh, he's an author, Conversations with God, very famous author, very inspirational. There was also Marie Diamond, who's a Feng Shui teacher. She was also featured in The Secret.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

And Lee Holden, who's a Qi Gong master, and he did the whole Qi Gong session with us, which was pretty cool because I had never experienced that before.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Right.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

Juan Pablo Barajora. Not exactly sure how to pronounce that, but he was actually Regan Hillier's husband. They're married, but he was also a speaker there. He was great too, and he did a lot of meditations and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

I think they guess from Costa Rica.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

So who was your favorite speaker there?

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Regan Hillier. I think it was just amazing. You just go deep in there. Yeah. A little bit about her, what she shared that day with us. She was just a normal girl. I think she's from New Zealand. And going through college, trying to really get her life going. And she started meeting these kind of rich people or entrepreneurs and things through figuring out life and how to really do the work. And how to manifest.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

She was very into figuring out how that worked. Because she she was meeting people that were very much into that. And she was like, if they were doing it, I can do it too, kind of thing. And yeah, she dug in deep and she's made herself quite the career from it.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

She the way she did it. Meditations blew my mind and the energy of the room. I think there was like a thousand people in the room, something like that.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

I don't remember how many, but there was a lot of people. And to your point, you couldn't meditate before. And I know that for the meditation for a lot of people is kind of, man, what the heck is that? I have no time for that. I have no time for nonsense. I have no time to really stop. And even if I stop, your thoughts are just bombarding you.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

Which is exactly what I thought. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

So you cannot let go. So you're just basically a prisoner of your own thoughts and prisoner of your life. And that's not a bad thing, but it tells you a lot that you have no control, that you're basically going through life. And it's just basically the whole schedule is laid out for you and not by you. But a lot of people don't have the time and we didn't have the time to stop and meditate. And we have some friends and we heard that for them it's kind of hard to meditate. Yeah, she was great. She did a long meditation with us. The thing is, you have control over the meditation. Yeah, she's guiding you, but when you shut your brain, you start going into your thought and to who you are and going through the whole process was just amazing. Because sometimes we don't even have time to stop and think about who am I or what do I want to do or what do I want to change. Yeah. It was great.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

Yeah, her meditations were the first meditations I've ever been able to connect with. I think it was the energy of the room because there was like a thousand people and there was so many more on Zoom watching it live. But I was able to connect with doing meditations for the first time with her. So that was pretty amazing. And she did it a bunch of times over the course of the weekend.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

And it was super powerful. When we were talking about when we left, we felt like we were like buzzing with energy.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Yeah, it was really good. That's really good. And then after that, we are implementing other techniques. We meditate every single day. We talked in the previous episode that Camview read a lot more than me. We always seeking planting seeds in our brain and always trying to find how to get better. Because we still have struggles, right?

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

We're still struggling.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

We're still figuring this out as we go. We're not saying that we're experts by any means, but we've been doing this literally every day since then, putting in some sort of work every day. Yeah. And different variations.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Yeah. And after that we started manifesting things for our life. We started getting better in our relationship. We're having a little bit more energy, being more focused on the things we want to get done, even though it's still hard. But after we do the meditations and we just do the work in the morning or at night or during the days. Sometimes I do it after lunch or so. I find 10-15 minutes and then I do it really quick. And I feel like I just ground again to continue going through the day. And again, it's just 10-15 minutes as we all on social media, just scrolling and scrolling every time we have a minute. Yeah. So we have a minute to actually do it. That's the way I see it. And that's why I'm alright, I gotta stop and just gonna do it for 10-15 minutes. And it works really good for me. Keeps me in tune about my goals and about the day. So I don't take the day for granted. On the projects that we're working on. Makes me, hey, remember you have these things going. So makes me f think about my family, how can I be a better father? All these things really center me to be a better person, a better version of me. Yeah. And we know that for a lot of people this is really hard. The meditation thing or the praying is really hard for some reason. I guess we're too busy. We're really busy with our lives. But we you have to find a spot, you have to find the time and start doing it. And again, it really worked for us, but things started working out because we were put in the work, we were thinking all the time, yeah, how to get stuff accomplished. And then we finally found this Mind Valley Summit in Florida, and that kind of really ramped us up to continue.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

One of the biggest takeaways for me from that weekend was I had an experience because I had such bad depression and anxiety throughout the majority of my life. I won't get into the full story of that, but I had a million different medications, a million different types of therapies like ECT.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

Oh yeah, let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

That's right, yeah, I completely those are the things that just dawned on me like, oh yeah, that's a huge one.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

Yeah, though.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

And the TMS, I'd have to look it up, but some other thing to treat depression and anxiety. I was going through because I was very much uh medication resistant and nothing was working for me. Some things did work, yes, but and then over the years they would wear off or whatever, but the medications never worked for me. But they did bring me to a certain plateau where I was like able to function. And so I maintained those for years and years of my life. I was on medications, but at the Mind Valley event when I was meditating and just learning all these different things from all these different speakers. For some reason, somehow, I don't know what it was specifically what was said or what happened, but it was some kind of an awakening for me.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:47

And that weekend I realized that I didn't have to suffer with depression. It was a choice that I was making.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

And I know that statement will hit people very hard because you hear people like, oh, just choose to be happy. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I'll just choose. Oh, like they don't understand what I'm struggling with and whatever. So I totally understand that statement can feel like a slap in the face to somebody suffering with anxiety and depression. I don't say it lightly, but uh, for me, I was able to just come to that realization that, oh, like this is a choice. Like this is something I have control over. And and I'm not saying like I was able to just quit my medications that day and walk away and everything was I'm done. I'm done. But it was It was a process, yeah. It was a it was a process, but it was such an eye-opener for me. And I actually experienced that weekend some like anger and sadness over that realization that I have been a victim to this mindset my entire life, yeah, thinking that I I'm just born with it. Yeah and it's like my whole family suffers with all this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

Yeah. And it's interesting because when we're a kid, when we're teenage years, that's actually when it triggers badly because the hormones are just crazy and all this.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Your beliefs are being formed at that age.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

So but then now that you're talking about that you're feeling anger, angry about yourself, like why am I going through all this? But it seems to me, just in my personal opinion also, that you were depressed, but the brain also conditioned itself to be depressed. So it's a lot of things uh an issue with the depression in your brain, it's a chemical imbalance. That's what the doctor said about depression, and also your brain gets into this new pattern, right? Of being depressed. And you don't know how to get out of it. So now you're having two fights.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

And then you're in a loop of forever because you don't know how to fight it. That's the voices, the voice in your head that we were talking about last time.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

And it's like an addiction, also, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:00

It's like people It is an addiction because your brain is releasing certain chemicals that you do become addicted to. I don't want to get into the science of it because I will definitely mess that up.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

But yeah, it's just our point of view and what we know, but things that to think about. You were depressed, and then all of a sudden you're now taking your brain to a different route with meditation, right? So trying to get it out of the always triggering the same chemicals with depression, with that state of mind. But now when you switch to meditation, trying to really reroute your neurons and your brain, your processing, your thoughts.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

So you're trying to heal yourself somehow, finding a new route in life. And it seems like, no, it doesn't work like that. Depression will kick in again. Yeah. Sometimes I know you get sad, and sometimes I get a little bit depressed. You have your lows, but then you know that you have to get back up.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

I know how to get out of it. And I know that like my lows, the time that I'm down now is not nearly as long as it used to be. But to wrap up my story of what I was saying that weekend, after I had that realization, I went through that period of like sadness and anger that I allowed myself to be a victim to that mindset my whole life. I didn't let it bring me down because I was so high, like from this natural buzzing of like this meditations and stuff and of all the energy from all these people that were around. So I didn't let it like hold me down. But I do remember f feeling those feelings and being really angry about that I allowed that to happen.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

And I did feel like I allowed myself to be a victim of this when in reality it was really me who's in charge, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:43

It wasn't you're feeling used by yourself. Yeah. You're feeling cheated.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

I felt cheated is the word. Yeah. Not used, but cheated. I felt cheated out of my life and what it could have been. I felt cheated from all these accomplishments and things that I wanted to have that I held myself back from.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

And I felt really sad about that. So I did go through a period of mourning.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

But since we were having such a good time and I was feeling all the good things, I jumped out of that really quick. But I did allow myself to mourn that for a little bit. Those feelings of anger and everything. And then I jumped out of that and we enjoyed the rest of the weekend and everything. I learned so much. And so then I took that away and started creating new habits, which would be like the uh meditation habit, visualization tools.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Do you do a lot of visualization? Yeah, I do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

I do every single day.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

Yeah, I do. And that kind of gives me uh sort of a reminder also. Yeah. It's a reminder also that things were happening and you have to feel it. I just want you people that are listening. The idea here is just basically share our knowledge for whoever is out there to kind of resonate with you so you could do a little bit of work. And I promise you, it's gonna move the needle, it's gonna get you out of you know where you are right now.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Yeah, as long as you keep showing up. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Because it it happened to us. We were just again, we were in debt, we didn't know what to do, you were depressed, super depressed, I have some sort of a depression, but wasn't near us yours.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Yeah, yours was like a situational impression.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

Yeah. And was very mature. Immature?

SPEAKER_02 15:28

I just want to make sure you said that. You it sounded like you said mature.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

Immature.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

I just want to make sure everybody heard that for the people in the back.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

And the thing is, like there's a lot of adults right now, 35s, 40s, that they're immature. They don't even know how to grow up. They're still playing video games. I have nothing against video games, but they're just like in this kind of world that like it you don't want to get out of the cocoon.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

Yeah, like hobbies like that. They're okay to use to check out once in a while. But if you're staying stuck in that bubble versus growth, then there's an issue.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Yeah, they don't want to take a relationship seriously, take it to the next level. I was like that. Like I just want to play music at all times. Right. I didn't want to have kids, I didn't want to, I just wanna rock and roll, baby. That's it. That was it.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

There was the immaturity piece.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

Yeah. But then again, you have to realize, come on, for how long are you gonna do that? And there's tons of movies like that.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

You know, that they're immature, you have to get out of it, you really have to move on in life. And sometimes for a lot of people it's really hard to let go. But you have to let go in order to get forward. You have to empty the cup to really refill it with something new. You cannot carry these all beliefs. It doesn't really work like that. You're evolving. We're all evolving. We're not the same. When we were from two to five, we were toddlers, and then after that, it's like you continue growing and you continue developing your personality and you continue moving forward. But the goal is to be always better, right? I think we're aging, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you're like, oh, I'm on all fart. No, now you have to share your wisdom, help others, be kind, be a good human being just for the society that we live in. But one of the things I do that works for me is get up in the morning, five minutes, I just use five minutes, set up my alarm, five minutes, and I do the meditation. I just basically go through my day really quick that everything is gonna be okay, everything I'm gonna have a great day, and everything is working out perfectly for me. That's the three things I do. Then I get in the shower. There's another topic about the power of water. Um we're not gonna talk about that today. But where you're basically cleansing your body and your soul and your mind. This is a whole like a ritual, but it's not, it's just just getting a shower, getting recharged, and then I'm just putting again, cleansing my body, my mind, getting ready for the day, but setting up my mind that everything's gonna be okay. Yeah, everything's gonna be good. And then after that, I don't remember where I saw it, but in order to rewire your brain, learn how to brush your teeth with your left hand, and then while you're doing that, you have to have some sort of affirmations. And yeah, so it took me like maybe 30 days to learn how to brush my teeth on my left hand. I was doing that, and I was thinking, I was kinda building a new me. So implanting new beliefs while I was doing that. Because I didn't know how to feel stupid brushing my teeth with my left hand.

SPEAKER_02 18:27

It's hard.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Yeah, it's not easy. But then after a while, and oh yeah, now I got it. And then the thoughts are clear, just as I I taught myself to how to brush my teeth with my left hand now, have these kind of new thoughts in my head to go throughout the day. Now this sounds silly, but remember, we'll we are just programmed every single day to do the same. You want to get out of it. If you want to do something different, something new, you have to start somewhere. And again, these are the things that works for me. The thing is, for a lot of people, like, yeah, but I don't know how to change. Yeah, I don't know what to do. You think about it before I knew all this and before I started doing all this, I didn't know where to start.

SPEAKER_02 19:08

No, no, no, I no, I had no idea where to start either. The difference is I knew that I was going to start. Yeah, and nothing was gonna stop me after I had this epiphany at the Mind Valley event. Like I was done living my life like as that victim. I just decided that I was going to do the work and make the changes. And I had no idea how, but I was determined to figure it out because I was done living that that life. I was done being like a victim of my life. I wanted to take control of my life. I wanted to take control of my depression. And so slowly we started just digging in. Yeah. And now we look back, and that was like uh what, like a year and a half ago, and we've been doing the work every single day, no matter how small the steps or whatever it is that we're doing every single day, no matter how small it is, it's again like the compound effect every day. Like it's just you're building the muscles, showing up, doing the work.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

And it was through, like I said, the meditations, visualization. We had memberships at Mind Valley and taking all those courses through Mind Valley. They have so many different topics and tools and whatever, and you can choose from them. But that was uh a key component to our change, is that was like where we started. And then we're also watching Al Gaia TV, and there's a lot of different topics on there, and a lot of documentaries and information on meditation, spirituality, if you're into that, yoga, like all the different things. So there's a wealth of information there. We were digging into that, right? Just immerse myself in books, eating them up like a book a week and any spare time, like you said before, instead of scrolling, if it was like a spare minute, whatever, and I would just do that. I started one of the easiest ways to implement it. I look for like spare time in my day. And it in Arizona, they have freaking car lines for every school. So I was like, okay, when I go and pick up my daughter, um, I'll get there early and I'll sit in the front of the line and I'll use that time to read my book. I get there like 20 or 25 minutes earlier so I can be in the front of the line and I use that time to focus on myself. I use it to read every day. So every day I have that dedicated time, at least 20, 25 minutes to read, and I love it. And every time you always try to throw me off my game if you're home for whatever reason from work and you come with me to pick her up, and you're like, we don't have to leave yet. And I'm like, nope, this is my time, and I look forward to it. I'm excited to learn. It's my quiet time, nobody's bothering me. I don't have to do anything. I put my phone down, I turn the radio off, and I just focus.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

And that's like me time and for me to learn and figure out how I'm going to implement whatever it is that I'm learning.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:59

Another big One for me has been hypnotherapy. I've been doing a lot of that and I love it.

SPEAKER_00 22:05

Okay, before you go to that, I just wanted to say something really quick.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

The golden nugget for the episode is you can start right there, right now. Yeah. You don't need any anything else, just your mind and the willingness to do the change. And in any area, whatever you want to change. Again, that happened to us. We change in so many ways. Yeah. I mean, still. Stop right there. You can start like right now. Close your eyes. I need to change this. Yeah. And just to do the inner work. Try to just to really pinpoint. Don't try to pick 10 things. No, because this is too much. Your brain is gonna really get you crazy. Just pause for a second and try to do it every single day. Set up your alarm. Hey, I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 22:50

That goes to your point is like the commitment to yourself. If you're gonna make the commitment to yourself and say, Oh, I'm gonna set up an alarm, just decide. Make the decision. That's what you're doing. You're committed to it. So every time if you do the alarm router or however you do it, whatever that looks like, if you do that, when the alarm goes off, stop what you're doing and just follow through with your commitment.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Yeah. Yeah. And then type something a good quote, a good quote for the day. Just read it. But just try to digest it. Try to digest it. Take it for you. Just don't read it. Make it your own.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

Take those words and yeah, I love it. I'm gonna say it now for me. And then you start doing the work. And again, when you start doing that, more things are gonna start showing up. Some people are very they have so many problems that they don't believe it. And you're gonna do that, and that day it's gonna go even worse. You do it the second day, it's gonna go bad again and bad again. But trust me, it's gonna break at some point.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

It's gonna break because now you are changing. You are now making your inner world and yourself, you are changing. And those old behavior, all that pattern, all that crappy shit that is happening to your life, it's gonna start changing. Yeah you just have to do it because I remember that happened to me. I remember that I wanted to change and I wanted just to be very inspired. And then I said I wanted to get a new car, and I said, I'm just gonna drop, I drove to the dealership to kinda have a feeling. I didn't have the money to buy a car, I just kinda wanna stop and check them out. And I remember that was years ago. I I don't remember if I was dating you, that was back in 2009, but I still remember this that I was trying to put myself in the mood. Oh yeah, I'm just gonna get me a new car. Just gonna go to the dealership, let's see what cars they have, feel it, see them. Something gonna change. And I'm so excited. Right when I stopped at the dealership, my aunt called, and then she's just got nasty. Ruined my mood. She didn't even know where it was, I don't remember why, but she called. I don't remember what, but she just threw me off. And I remember thinking, man, just when I wanted to really get like a good vibration, when I wanted to have a good feeling, with that call cutter right on my throat.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

Yeah, that happens to me all the time.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

And I'm like, Jesus, I just wanted to like really change. Again, if that happened to you, it's okay. Reset it, get angry at that moment, brush it off, and do it again. But yeah, so you just have to commit to yourself and things will start working for you. So I know you wanted to talk about immunotherapy.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

Yeah, so I've been doing that for I don't know, probably six months or so now. I've been working on different ones, one for wealth, one for confidence. Those are my two main ones that I've been working on on Mind Valley. There's a hypnotherapist, his name is Paul McKenna, and he is amazing at it. I just love listening to his sessions. Also on Mind Valley. There was like a free kind of summit or whatever that I did with him. It was on a Zoom call with however many people I don't know that attended. And he said, we're gonna do three during that session. And one of them was four weight loss. It was like a four-hour summit. And I remember sitting up in the office and doing the whole thing for the whole four hours. I was there more for the wealth one and the confidence. I was really excited about those, like the weight loss. I was like, eh, whatever, I'll just do it. Whatever. It's not like a I wasn't I didn't put any focus into it. I didn't put any attention into that one because my main focus is I wanted to hear the other ones. Anyways, so I don't know, four months probably passed, and I was like, I totally forgot, never thought about it again, but I did lose weight. I lost five pounds, and I was like, that's weird, and I was like, I do have a lot of stress, and usually when I get really stressed, I eat less. So I was like, maybe that's what it's from. But then I started noticing that I wasn't craving sugar like I always do. I love sugar, I like candy, cakes, ice cream, cookies, that kind of thing. Yeah, I'm very particular about what it is, but I don't, I wouldn't say it overeat, but when I have sugar, it's I eat a lot of sugar.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

But anyways, I have been noticing like, why is it so easy every day I'm going and I'm eating these healthy lunches when you're at work and stuff, and I'm not like indulging in crap snacks and in between or anything like that. And I was just like, just so weird. I just it wasn't registering what was going on. It was just so weird, but I definitely noticed the mental shift about it. Yeah, and I never related it to that. And then probably a week or two ago, I had this another epiphany where I was like, oh my God, I did that weight loss hypnosis with Paul McKenna um online, and since then I did lose weight, and that's why I'm not craving sugar like I was craving before. And it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was on cloud nine for two or three days after I realized that's what it was because it's like you're speaking to your subconscious and reprogramming it, and I was like, oh my god. And so I was super excited with that realization because I, like I said, I'm really working on the wealth one and I'm working on the confidence one, and I have noticed small shifts with that as well.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

The weight one seemed to take easier and quicker. I did some research on why, I won't get into that, but the confidence one for sure was a big one for me. I noticed a huge shift in in things that I was before really uncomfortable with. Yeah. Now it's, I don't care. I yeah, doesn't bother me at all. And I just made the choice to do those things and they were working. Yeah, I that's a big one for me. So now I'm obsessed with it.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

Yeah. So there's always just like a myth, right? With the hypnotherapy. How does it work? What that is. People, some people don't even know what what are you talking about? People know the word.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

There's a lot of negative attention it gets, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

There's a better word for it, but it's uh it's as simple as just the work is actually very deep in your brain.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

It's just like you teasing me with the clock and you say, Are you gonna go get your clock on and do this? I'm like, yeah, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

So it doesn't work like that. Yeah. We're not experts, but we understand the concept. And that you're basically working your fears and really doing the work really deep in your brain, that all these whole patterns that we have ingrained, these like codes that have been programmed through the years through our parents, through society, how we developed and early when we were younger, and even after with the hypnotherapy, we were basically kind of rewriting those old beliefs. So you could be you you could get out of, like I said, you wanted to lose weight, and then that kind of really went into those weaknesses in your brain. Yeah, we're not experts, but we know that when you do those kind of hypnosis, if you really put your intention, if you really close your eyes, if you really want to do the work.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

Yeah, but the funny thing is with that one, I really I was just rewarded. I just showed up. Oh wow. I was just like, I didn't put thought into it. Yeah. Of course, I get they put you in this trance, which is like a meditative state. It's not really much different, in my opinion. But I wasn't like super focused, and oh my god, I gotta lose weight. Like I was just like, I just let it flow and then didn't think about it again.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

Yeah, another thing is that again, you've been doing a lot of work with meditations and stuff. So your brain, you can go really deep into you. And for a lot of people, it's what what do you mean going really deep into your thoughts? Or what do you mean really shutting off your brain? It's just basically releasing all the pressure and just relax completely and being present.

SPEAKER_02 31:06

Being presenting in the moment.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

And that and we know that's all that's really hard for a lot of people. Like it just to turn it off.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

Because my mind doesn't shut up.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Shut up, yeah. Yeah. Mine, I just turned it off, and I just kind of really when I do my meditations or my prayers, I just kind of really go quiet and I just focus on that.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

And I try to recharge myself just to reassure myself, and I just make sure that I'm rewired, I'm rewiring again. Because again, we always default. Can I always go to the all can because society really pulls you there.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

We've been doing it for so long, whatever you were doing. Like you just don't, if you like coffee, you just don't leave coffee all of a sudden, just like that. If you're smoking cigarettes or whatever, it's hard. You have to break the habits, you have to do the work.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

Therapy, I think it's pretty easy. I'll stand by that. But no, but what you're saying about people they don't understand meditation or they don't know how to do it, and they think, oh, it's not for me, I can't shut my brain off. That was a hundred percent me.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

Yeah, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_02 32:06

So it took something like the Mind Valley Summit to crack me open with it. And because I have anxiety and my brain is always you can't do this, and you can't do that, and oh my goodness, it's just always running at a hundred miles a minute.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

But there's a lot of people, oh, fuck that meditation, for that.

SPEAKER_02 32:22

And they don't think it works and whatever, and that's fine. But if people who are listening are interested in it, but they think, oh, I can't do it, it's not for me, I don't have time, or whatever. It's again, it's all about just making the decision to do it and to show up consistently. So it doesn't matter if you don't know how to do it today, and it doesn't matter if you sit down the first time, the tenth time, the twentieth time, and your brain is like running like mine constantly does. That doesn't matter. You just keep showing up and just keep doing it and just learn about how to do it and the best practices for it and how to veer your mind in a different direction when it starts that chatter. Learn, just do the research, look it up. It's very easy to figure out how to do it. And there's no wrong way to do it either. But it's like they say, it's like building a muscle, and the more you do it, like the more muscle you'll get, the stronger you'll get, the better at it you'll get. So showing up, being consistent, continuing to do it even when you think you can't do it, and just keep practicing. That's all it is. It's just like anything else, it just takes practice.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

So, yeah, just to kind of recap of the things that are working for us. It would be like the visualization, the meditation, hypnotherapy, just really digging in and learning everything we can, taking classes or courses or documentaries, reading books, all that kind of stuff, and be willing to continue working on it because ultimately learning how to do the inner work is everything. You know, you can't you have to be okay in here in order to live the life that you want to live, even if you have 10 million in the bank and you're not okay in here with how you handle stress and anxiety and depression and you can't enjoy anything, literally. Would it would would the millions alleviate some stress? Of course. I'm not saying that that wouldn't be. You can't be happy if you're not okay in here.

SPEAKER_00 34:26

A lot of people think that. Oh, yeah, if I have the money, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 34:28

That's gonna solve everything. You're still gonna be a miserable person. You're still gonna be depressed over nothing.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

You're gonna be depressed in a beer home, you're gonna be depressed, uh driving a luxury car, be depressed now in a freaking fancy restaurant, and you don't even know how.

SPEAKER_02 34:42

It's not gonna heal your anxiety. It doesn't work like that. It's not gonna heal how you handle situations, how you handle stress with family and friends and whatever else. That's not the answer. Does it help? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:55

Yeah, because for instance, for us, we moved from a condo in Connecticut to a 2,000 square feet home. I think it was 2,200 square feet home. We still have problems, right?

SPEAKER_01 35:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

And now we live in our 5,000 square feet home. We're still have problems.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

Still have problems. We're still working on all of it.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Yeah, we still have bills to pay. We did like you just now, yeah, you're happier. Yeah. But the problems are still there.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

Yeah. We don't have anywhere near millions in the base. No, exactly. But we're yeah, we're putting in the work, we are doing the work, and that's why our we have a really strong marriage right now.

SPEAKER_01 35:34

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 35:35

And I'm off all medications.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:38

And not on anything, which as I said before, that I've been on medications basically since I was a teenager for depression, anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 35:47

You're working from home.

SPEAKER_02 35:48

Working from home.

SPEAKER_00 35:49

We have uh we have little debt, we don't have crazy debts.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

But we're working on that too, working on rectifying that, getting that taken care of. And just the point is, we're addressing all the issues and we're not just like sitting back and being like, okay, I guess I'm gonna we're just gonna binge Netflix tonight because we need to check out. And it's no, if we want to improve our life, we have to keep showing up every day and doing the work and focusing on what the issues are and honing in on that and one at a time.

SPEAKER_01 36:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

Digging in and figuring it out and rectifying it because we have a much better life because of it.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:25

I don't wake up every single day, oh my god, my life is so amazing, and this and that, and oh my god, I have zero problems. No, of course not. We're still putting in the work and we still have the problems and whatever, but we're so much more better equipped to handle them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

And we sleep better at night too. You're doing the work and the things are working out for you. And again, for a lot of people, it's like, oh man, this is what you're saying sounds nice, but this is bullshit. I have no time to to do it. But exactly how we felt. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:54

Until we started doing it.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

Doing it. Yeah, when you start doing it, it's gonna start really showing up in your life. And it's gonna start showing up in your brain and your heart.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

And at some point you have to do it. Why not start now and start making the changes now so you can look back like we are right now, looking back a year and a half ago at the Mind Valley event that changed our lives. And at that moment, a year and a half ago, I was like, oh my god, this is gonna be so much work.

SPEAKER_01 37:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

And the same breath, I was super excited to dig in because again, I get very passionate about personal development and growth. It's those are just two things that I'm super passionate about. But yeah, when I looked back at that moment, I was thinking forward, oh my God, this is gonna take forever. Yeah. It's an an evolving process, it never ends, honestly. Like you're always learning and always growing and always figuring out how you can move forward with yourself. But it's super important. That's right. And if you don't do it, then it's gonna be a whirlwind of problems forever.

SPEAKER_00 37:56

Just commit to yourself. Just start with five minutes. That's it. Five minutes. Five minutes. Maybe in two weeks you can push it to 10. Maybe in in a month you can push it to 15 minutes. But now you're gonna do five in the morning, five in the afternoon, five at night. You just have to start. Yeah. And things will start changing for you.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

Yeah, so that is it for today. That is our story about that. I'm glad we got to talk about that because I love that topic and I love telling that story to people. We would love to hear from other people who have similar stories or who have other suggestions on things that work for them. Because I'm always looking for new ways to implement growth in anything mindset.

SPEAKER_00 38:40

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

Yeah. So if anybody has any questions, suggestions, email us at pen and kimpodcast at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you because we are super excited to continue learning and growing.

SPEAKER_00 38:53

That's right. All right, we'll see you the next time.

SPEAKER_02 38:55

All right, take care.

SPEAKER_00 38:56

Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_02 38:57

Bye. Hey there. If you like this episode, please like, share, and join our community. And check out our website at Ken and Kim Podcast.com for free tools and resources. We'll talk to you next time.