They Loved the Healing, Not the Healer

Some wounds don’t heal correctly… they just get covered.

In this episode of Articulated Illustration, Dwane Richardson Sr. uses the idea of Neosporin as a powerful emotional metaphor for healing, trauma, attachment, and the painful reality of being used as somebody’s emotional medicine.

Why do some people disappear once they’re emotionally stable again?

Why does being needed sometimes get mistaken for being loved?

And how do emotional wounds become infected when they’re never truly cleaned?

This episode explores:

• Emotional healing vs emotional suppression
• Trauma bonds and emotional dependency
• Being loved for relief instead of connection
• Why some people only attach during crisis
• The danger of becoming everybody’s “safe place”
• The emotional exhaustion of constantly healing others
• Why discernment matters in relationships

Some people loved the bandage…

but never planned to protect the healer.

If this episode makes you think, reflect, or see your life from a different angle, share it with somebody who may need it.

And always remember:

Do what’s absolutely necessary every day…

and keep illustrating your life.

#ArticulatedIllustration #MentalHealth #Healing #Relationships #SelfWorth #TraumaBonds #EmotionalHealing #Podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

You ever notice how some wounds don't hurt until somebody touches them again? You can go weeks, months, and sometimes years thinking that you have healed. But all it takes is one conversation, one memory, one text message, and one familiar voice, and suddenly your whole emotional system reacts. And not because the wound was fresh, but because it was covered instead of cleaned. And that's the dangerous thing about emotional pain. A lot of us have become experts at covering wounds that still need treatment. Welcome to Articulated Illustration, where we see things from unusual angles. I'm your host, Dwayne Richardson Sr., and this podcast is sponsored by me. But if you want to invest in purpose and build something together, let's make it happen. And today, we're talking about neosporing. Not just the ointment, but the ideal behind it. Because some people heal correctly, and some people just learn how to function. Word of the day. Antiseptic. Something designed to prevent infection. And that's interesting to me, because physical wounds aren't the only things that can become affected. Bitterness can affect you, resentment can affect you, and unforgiveness can affect you. Also, humiliation can affect you. And we all know that rejection can affect us. But if emotional wounds stay open too long, everything starts contaminating them. Most people know too well how to hide pain, but very few people know how to heal from it. Some people smile over wounds, joke over wounds, and work over wounds, sleep around over wounds, spend money over wounds, stay busy over wounds. But underneath all that movement, the injury is still there. And that's why certain people overreact to small situations. You're not touching today's issue. You touch yesterday's wound. Neosporin is very interesting because before it protects, it cleans. And that's the part people avoid emotionally. Cleaning hurts. Honesty hurts. Accountability hurts. Reflection also hurts. And admitting that you were wrong hurts. Admitting that they hurt you, that hurts. But a lot of us want bandages without disinfection, and it doesn't work like that. We want protection without processing, relief without examination. Some people keep reopening emotional wounds by revisiting the very environments that injure them. It's like picking a scab every single day and wondering why you are still bleeding. Some people are addicted to familiar pain because familiar pain feels predictable. And even toxic environments can become comfortable when your nervous system gets used to surviving them. And eventually, chaos starts feeling normal. And we know that's not normal. Imagine somebody cutting their arm, and instead of cleaning the wound, they just keep wrapping new band-aids around it every single day, day after day, layer after layer. Now from a distance, it looks treated, but underneath, infection is spreading rapidly. And that's how some people live emotionally. We get layered in avoidance. But underneath all of those layers, something is still rotten emotionally. And sometimes the people we run to for healing, they become emotional painkillers instead of medicine. Temporary relief, temporary numbness, temporary comfort. And sometimes you weren't the wound. You were the actual neosporum. You were the thing that they reached out for when life cut them open. You were the comfort, the patience, and the listening ear. The late night phone call, the safe space, the emotional bandage, you know, the thing helping them stop bleeding internally. But here's the painful part. Some people don't honor the medicine once the wound starts closing. They use your presence while they are hurting. And then they discard you when they feel whole again. And that kind of pain is totally different. Because now you're sitting there wondering, was I loved? Or was I just useful? Was I valued? Or was I just available during an emergency? And here is what makes this psychologically brutal. Being somebody's neosporan creates the illusion of permanence. When people cry in your lap, they call you their peace, they tell you I don't know what I do without you, they share their trauma with you, and they lean on you emotionally. So you naturally assume connection. But sometimes intimacy is just an emergency response. Some people don't attach to you. They attach to the relief that you provide. And once the pain decreases, their appreciation decreases also. Is it fair? Of course not. That's why some people swear they love you during a darkest season. Then they slowly disappear once they stabilize emotionally. And not because you are worthless, but because your role in their life was tied to survival. You became associated with recovery instead of identity. And you became the emotional hospital, the rehab center, the emotional oxygen mask. And once they can breathe again, they no longer felt urgency towards the mask. That's why this kind of rejection creates so much confusion. Because if somebody mistreats you from the very beginning, at least the pain is honest. But when somebody depends on you emotionally, leans on you, and calls you their peace, but then disappears once they are functional again, you start questioning reality itself. And also you start questioning your worth. You replay conversations, replay memories, replay moments, and you're trying to figure out if any of it was real. But here's the very uncomfortable truth. The emotions, they probably were real. But real emotion does not always equal permanent intention. Some people genuinely love what you do for them. Some people really love what you do for their nervous system. And that doesn't mean that they prepare to love you long term. Wounded people often confuse relief with compatibility. And that's why rebound relationships feel so powerful. And that's also why trauma bonds feel so intense. That's why emotionally unavailable people become deeply attached during moments of crisis. Pain creates urgency, and urgency can imitate death. But once stability returns, guess what? Clarity also returns. And sometimes clarity reveals they were attached to the healing. And if you're not careful, this kind of experience can make you real cynical. You stop opening up, you stop being nurturing, you stop helping. Because now you associate kindness with abandonment. And eventually you start thinking the more I help people heal, the more likely they are to leave me. And we should never feel that way. And honestly, for some people, that pattern has repeated itself. Especially for people who naturally carry emotional weight real good. Empaths, listeners, fixers, nurturers, people with calm and energy, people who know how to regulate chaos. You become attractive to emotionally bleeding people because your presence itself feels like relief. But relief and reproticity are not the same thing, my illustrators. Some people will drink from your emotional well without ever intending to help refill it. And that's why discernment matters so much. Because love should not feel like being emotionally rented. And you also have to be careful not to build your identity around being needed. And that's another hidden trap. And that's a lesson for another day. Sometimes we enjoy being a healer because healing people gives us purpose. It makes us feel chosen, valuable, necessary. So when they finally stop needing us, we feel discarded emotionally, like trash. And not just relationally, because if your identity became attached to rescuing wounded people, their departure can't feel like your purpose left too. And this is why this is so devastating. And that's why some people repeatedly attract broken individuals. Not because they cursed, but because subconsciously they became addicted to being somebody's medicine. But medicine constantly poured out eventually empties the bottle. And eventually, even neosporin runs out if everybody keeps squeezing the tube. But painkillers do not heal injuries, they just silence the symptoms. And that's why some relationships feel so good at the very beginning, but leave you worse in the long term. Because they numb wounds, they never help you confront. They never help you unpack the baggage. Healing also requires exposure, air, time, attention, care. And that's difficult in the world where everybody wants fast emotional recovery. We have a microwave syndrome when it comes to recovery, and we need to adapt the crock pot method when it comes to recovery. So people want healing by Friday. We want growth by Monday. And we want transformation in 30 seconds. That's not how it works. Because real healing is ugly sometimes, people. Slow sometimes, frustrating sometimes, but necessary. Some wounds don't need covering, they need cleaning. Some people aren't weak because they are hurting. They're exhausted from pretending that they don't. And maybe your next level in life isn't hidden behind achievement. Maybe it's hidden behind healing correctly. Healing is a journey and it's going to take time. It's not going to happen overnight, and you're not going to forget what caused your injury. But in due time, with the right ointment, the right medicine, you will overcome this. So if this episode made you think, reflect, or look at your own life differently, share this with somebody who may need to hear it. And if you are on YouTube, please make sure you subscribe and comment. And if you're listening on audio platforms, please don't forget to download the episode. Always remember to do what's absolutely necessary every day and keep illustrating your life. Why? Because it's your dream, your vision. Keep the pen in your hand. And until the next illustration, we'll talk later.