Stop Forcing What Doesn't Fit

The most exhausting thing a human being can do is trying to make something work that was never designed to work.

In this episode of Articulated Illustration, Dwane Richardson Sr. explores why so many people are exhausted—not because they aren't strong enough, but because they're spending their strength on the wrong things.

Using powerful illustrations involving doors, chargers, rivers, and resistance, Dwane challenges the idea that persistence is always the answer. Sometimes the most disciplined thing you can do is stop forcing.

This episode explores:

• Resistance as information
• Relationships that don't fit
• The cost of emotional overtraining
• Why some doors require a different approach
• The freedom found in release and alignment

If you've been forcing a relationship, a goal, a conversation, or a version of yourself that no longer fits, this episode will give you a new perspective.

Because when something is right, you won't have to destroy yourself to make it work.

Always remember to do what's absolutely necessary every day.

And keep illustrating your life.

Transcript

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I want to tell you about the most exhaustive thing a human being can do. Not running a marathon and not working a 12-hour shift. Lord knows I am too familiar with that. Not raising kids alone, the most exhaustive thing a human being can do is try to make something work that was never designed to work. Now let's think about it. When you force a cabinet that is off of its track, you just don't spend energy. You spend frustration. You spend time, and you spend pieces of yourself on something that shouldn't have been hard if it had just been on the right track. And somewhere this week, you've been forcing a cabinet. Now maybe the cabinet is a relationship. Maybe it's a conversation that you keep having with someone who refuses to understand you. And notice I say refuses, I didn't say can't. Maybe it's a goal that you are grounded towards that no longer feels like yours. Maybe it's a version of yourself that you have been trying to resurrect, but every morning you wake up tired because you were fighting in your sleep. So let's ponder this question. What if the problem isn't that you're not strong enough? What if the problem is that you are spending your strength on the wrong thing? So that question changed something in me, and I truly believe that it's about to change something in you. Welcome to Articulated Illustration, where we see things from unusual angles. I'm your host, Dwayne Richardson Sr. This podcast is sponsored by me. But if you want to invest in purpose and build something together, let's make it happen. And today, we are talking about the art of stopping. Word of the day. Resistance. Resistance is the force that opposes motion or progress between two surfaces in contact with each other. In physics, resistance isn't always the enemy. It's information. It tells you something about the surfaces that are involved, whether they're compatible or not, whether one is moving against its own design. Now, what if every place in your life where you feel resistance isn't a water breakthrough? What if some of it is just information? What if some of it is the universe trying to tell you that these two surfaces were never meant to move together? Hold that thought. We're going somewhere with it, I promise you. But here's something I've been sitting with. We live in a culture that has completely weaponized persistence. We have podcasts about it, books about it, tattoos about it, never give up, push through, grind harder, believe bigger, and be the person who didn't quit. But I want to be careful here. Because persistence is real. Also, discipline is real. And showing up when it's hard is absolutely necessary. But here's the part where it gets real dangerous. We took a principle, don't quit, and we applied it indiscriminately to every situation, every relationship, every environment, every dream, and every version of ourselves. And now we have a generation of people who are not quitters, but who are also not free. People who are holding on. And not because they believe in what they are holding, but because they were taught letting go is weakness. But what if some things are supposed to be released? What if some doors are supposed to stay closed? And what if some seasons are supposed to end? Have we ever truly thought about that? What if the most disciplined thing you can do is knowing when to stop forcing? Now let's talk about that for a minute. Have you ever pushed on a door that says pull? You push and it doesn't move. Instinctively, you push harder. Still nothing. Then you check if something is blocking it. And yet you try again. Still nothing. And then someone walks up, grabs the handle, and pulls it towards them, and it swings right open. Same door, same goal, wrong approach, wrong technique. Because the door was never locked, people. You were never the problem. The approach to the situation was the problem. Now, my illustrators, let's apply that to your lives. How many things have we been pushing on that were designed to open the other way? Let that sit for a moment. Some relationships are a pull and not push. You can't force someone to want you. You can't push your weight into someone's heart who has already decided that you don't belong there. In 1991, the singer Bonnie Raitt made a song called I Can't Make You Love Me. And in 2010, the RB singer Tank redid the same song. And basically, it is reiterating what we are talking about right here. And the more you push, the more exhausted you get. And while the door just sits there, perfectly functional. Wait for someone to understand its design. Some opportunities are pull, not push. They don't open with force, they open with positioning, patience, with readiness. And when you are constantly pushing on the wrong doors, you are missing the ones that are swinging wide open behind you. Now, suppose somebody carries a MacBook Charger everywhere they go. And one night they are exhausted and they are trying to charge their phone with the MacBook cable, trying to get into the port, but it wasn't fitting right. And their phone was at 3%. I imagine they would be so frustrating. And they will keep adjusting, keep pressing, and keep thinking that it wasn't aligned. But then they look down and they had the wrong cable, not the wrong phone, and not the wrong attention, but the wrong cable. Now think about the people in your life who you keep trying to get energy from, who were never designed to charge you for the first place. And not because they are bad people, they are not inherently bad. And not because they don't love you, but because they are the wrong port for your design. You are asking them for peace and they are only built for chaos. You are asking them for death and they are living on the surface, real shallow. And you are asking them for honesty, and they are only fluent in comfort. You're not broken. They're not broken. You're just incompatible chargers. And some of us have been plugging into the wrong people for a long time. And we wonder why we are always at 4%. There's a concept in training called overtraining. And that's when you work a muscle so hard on a regular basis without rest that instead of the muscle getting stronger, it actually breaks down. It tears, it inflames. And if you keep pushing it without giving it time to recover, guess what? It does not grow. It degrades. And that is what forcing does to your spirit. And I'm pretty sure everybody looking and listening to this can attest to exactly what I'm talking about. Because this hits home for me. The thing that you are gripping so tightly right now, the job that's crushing you, the relationship that's only leaving a shell of you, the version of yourself that you are trying to keep alive that doesn't fit your narrative anymore. You are overtraining your soul. You are tearing down more than you are building. And on top of that, in today's society, we are calling the pain dedication. We are calling it commitment. And we are calling the emotional inflammation love. But some pain is not productive, and some soreness is not the kind that makes you stronger. Things that you are holding on are the exact reason that you haven't healed. Here is today's articulated illustration. We talk about forcing like it's always loud, like it's always dramatic. But most of the forcing that we do is real quiet. It's the smile that you hold in the room where you never felt safe. It's the version of yourself that you put on when you get around certain people. The smaller version, the agreeable version, the yes version. The version that doesn't take up too much space because you don't want to offend anybody. That's forcing. That quiet, daily, invisible forcing, it costs much more than the loud kind. Because at least when it's loud, you know that you are doing it. The quiet forcing is the kind where years go by. And one day, you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't recognize the face that's looking back at you. And that's painful. Because you've been shaping yourself around the things that didn't fit for so long that you forgot what your original shape was. So I want to ask you something. I truly wanted to sit with you. What would you stop forcing if you believed that you wouldn't lose anything important by releasing it? A river does not fight a rock, and it doesn't push against it, and it doesn't get frustrated with it. It just goes around. And in going around it, it doesn't lose momentum and doesn't lose direction and it doesn't lose its identity as a river. What it does is it finds another path to the same destination. Now, there is a difference between a rock in the river and the wall at the end of the river. Hear me out. A rock means adjust your path. The wall means this wasn't your river. And some of us are standing at that wall right now. We are pressing our hands against it, pressing our whole body against it, pressing our emotional energy against it. We're crying at it, we're praying at it, and we are believing harder at it. So when God has been whispering the whole time, this is a wall, not a rock, this isn't your river. Let me say this clearly. Forcing is not faith. Forcing is not strength. And forcing is what happens when we are too afraid to trust that something better is possible on the other side of the release. Some of you are disciplined in the wrong direction. Some of you are working incredibly hard at something that was never going to work from the very beginning. Some of you are not unloved. You are just trying to be loved by someone whose capacity was never built for who you are. And I need all of you to hear this. The door that won't open is not a reflection of your worth. The charging that doesn't fit is not a commentary on your value. The relationship that keeps breaking is not proof that you are hard to love. At the end of the day, we have to realize some things just don't fit. And the bravest thing you can do is, in the words of Teddy Pinegrass, let it go. But here's what I want you to take with you today. Alignment is not passive. Letting go is not giving up. And rest is not retreat. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is to stop, breathe, and ask, Am I forcing this? And if the honest answer comes back to you is yes, give yourself permission. Permission to release, permission to redirect, and permission to find out what was actually designed for you. Because when something is right and when it fits, you won't have to destroy yourself to make it work. If this episode meant something to you, share it with the person who is still pushing on a door that says pull. Because they really need to hear it. Please subscribe, follow, and leave a review and download the podcast. Always remember to do what's absolutely necessary every day and keep illustrating your life. Why? It's your dream, it's your vision. Keep the pen in your hand. And until the next illustration, we'll talk later.