Episode 27: "Meetings, Micromanagers & Mental Health"

Life doesn’t slow down—even after a major announcement. This week, Ava and Katie catch up on pregnancy updates, chaotic life moments, and yes… a little husband roasting. From spotting Cybertrucks in the wild to navigating homeownership and the mental load women carry, the conversation is real, unfiltered, and relatable.

Then, we dive into the main topic: why modern workplaces are drowning in meetings, how micromanagement quietly wrecks confidence and productivity, and the very real toll it takes on mental health. We’re sharing personal stories, calling out toxic patterns, and offering practical ways to protect your time, energy, and peace.

Plus: reality TV recap and our “work wife wisdom” you didn’t know you needed.

⏱️ Timestamps
0:00–0:31 | Intro
0:31–24:09 | Ava & Katie catch up: pregnancy updates + husband roast
24:09–35:21 | Katie’s latest venture: Cybertrucks in the wild
35:21–52:56 | Ava’s big life updates + homeownership realities
52:56–1:21:28 | Main Topic: Meetings, Micromanagement & Mental Health
1:21:28–1:31:37 | Reality TV recap: Real Housewives of Rhode Island
1:31:37–1:32:28 | Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Welcome to the Work Wives and Real Lives Podcast. I'm Katie. And I'm Ava. We're two best friends and coworkers spilling the tea on business, boundaries, and all the beautiful chaos in between. From workday wins to real life messes, we're talking through it all. Unfiltered, unpolished, and always putting friendship first. Think of it as your weekly catch up with your favorite coworker, Turn Soul Sister. So grab your coffee or your wine and let's get into it.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Stunning.

SPEAKER_04 0:29

Stunning.

SPEAKER_05 0:31

What is up, work wife fam? It's Ava and Katie back at it. A month later. Must have been two, who knows? I don't even know. I think it's been earthquake. It's been exactly a month, I think, since I've put into the ether and have announced my pregnancy. But we are here. We've been booked in joined. Yeah, we are booked in BusyGals. I'm joined by my lovely co-host, my sister, my confidant, my boss, my partner in crime.

SPEAKER_03 1:13

I'm Tina. My peanut butter to my jelly. Oh. How are you doing? Fine.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

I'll be getting. Um, how are you doing? That's the more important question.

SPEAKER_05 1:28

I'm actually doing better. There was so I'm in my second trimester now. And hello, hi, my name's Ava. I'm pregnant. Um, if you're new to the space, I am doing better mentally and emotionally. There was a brief moment, and who knows, it might come back. Things change by the second, by the minute over here. Um, a brief little hiccup of depression. But you know, we're fine. We're doing good. Yeah. And you know, shout out to the mamas out there, my postpartum gals, anyone going through it. One day you're up, one second you're down. And it's just a roller coaster of emotions, and who knows what you're gonna get.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 2:22

It's a surprise.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

It never ends.

SPEAKER_05 2:25

It never ends. No, it does not. So you know, we're here, we're busy, which is good. Life is happening full full speed, or as the kids are saying, full send. I don't know if that is the same thing.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

But I feel like I've heard that. Yeah. I don't know that that means full speed. I think it's all in.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I don't know. I'll have to chat later. Um, well, good. I'm glad you're pregnant and that's going well for you besides the depression. But you know what? We you pushed through, and you did.

SPEAKER_05 3:07

Yes, I uh powered through and I'm still powering through. But yeah, taking it day by day and not trying to put too much pressure on myself. I think it was more the fact that I'm seeing it's social media. Social media is the worst. Get off it. Yeah, I try my hardest.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

That's why you don't see me post anything. And then But we have no followers besides you blessed people who are watching because exactly. But is it post on social media? No, I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_05 3:38

I do not.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

That's why we hired a social media person because we don't want to do it.

unknown 3:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:42

Exactly. But you know, there's moms and girls out there that love being pregnant, have nothing but great thing glow during their pregnancy.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

I They do that for 30 seconds while they film something, and then they look like normal humans.

SPEAKER_05 4:01

Yes. It's quite the challenge to adjust to, even though for someone that has wanted this forever, um, and had been trying for over a year, and it finally happens, and it's like, oh, I'm I'm not ready. Like mentally, emotionally, physically, it's hard to watch my body change every single day, especially in my line of work. It's hard to experience too what I can't do anymore. Um, and I think too, I was taking your class when I was in town, and you're like, Did I do okay? Did you like it? I was like, Yeah, no, it was great. You're like, Oh, I couldn't tell by your face. I'm like, I was just fully experiencing for the first time that I can't hold a plank anymore. Like, that was depressing for me.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Excuse me, Hans.

SPEAKER_05 4:52

Yeah, my children are really at it today. They're really testing me. Mine's screaming, so are you? Everyone's on one. Everyone's on one today.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

But yeah, you know, I think it's seen as like you have a very different experience with your body changing than I did. Because you still are, but like fitness model essentially. And I was just always fat, so I was like, it's an excuse. So I loved being pregnant because it was I finally looked cute as a fat person instead of gross.

SPEAKER_03 5:32

No, I look like I could eat my burritos without judgment.

SPEAKER_05 5:37

That's nice. Yeah. Um, I did get a very beautiful compliment by a client today, and she came up to me after class. She's like, Can I give you a compliment? I'm like, please do, because I don't get good compliment.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

I'm not hurtful with that, because sometimes they're not good compliments that you get.

SPEAKER_05 5:57

Yes, I do get, which we'll get into, but this was a truly a good compliment. She's like, Your latissimus dorsi in the back is beautiful. I was like, Oh, I mean, she's like, please say more, tell me more. She's oh, I think it was just your open back top that I had today, and it was showing my back. I'm like, She still got it. She still got a little something from too.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Would not know you're pregnant. That's the beauty of being pregnant. Yeah. And then you flip around, you're like, whoa, whoop, there's a belly.

SPEAKER_05 6:30

There's a belly. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Unlike Garrett, I'm literally filming.

SPEAKER_05 6:36

Oh, we'll get into Garrett.

SPEAKER_03 6:38

You've had one fucking job list.

SPEAKER_05 6:40

One job. We'll get into the men. But yeah, um, besides people coming up to me and asking if I've gained weight or if I'm pregnant, it's been great.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

Yeah. Well, I feel like now you have to be past that phase. Like I've seen the belly. And if people aren't sure now, I'm correct.

SPEAKER_05 7:06

It was just the last time I was in California, which was like literally my body has changed so much in the last few weeks. Yeah. I popped like real fast in the last two weeks. But when I was out there, it was yeah, the comments they really got to me. I think that's what put me into a spiral mentally and emotionally.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

Yeah. Well, enough about me.

SPEAKER_05 7:30

Let's chat about tell me uh how your heart is, my friend. How's your heart right? Full of rage. It's full of rage. Say more. Tell us more. What is going on in your life?

SPEAKER_02 7:46

So my husband, some of you know, why just know the bubble um is a CPA. So the last month of my life has been hell. I've been doing like all the parenting, all the things. I knew this when I married him. I signed up for it. We're not complaining.

SPEAKER_03 8:01

But the deal is is that after I am responsi like I am on break. He steps up. Well, that has not happened today. He had to go.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

So they have like a office like subscription, like rental program. Like they're all remote, but then they can go to like it's I think it's called Spaces. It's kind of how we work. They can go when they need to and run a space to meet up. So he had to fire someone. And so he had this person meet him at the office at 9 a.m. I had to take my doctor to or my doc my daughter to a doctor appointment all the way down in Newport Beach, which is it was like a half a mile from my office. Drive her all the way back to Orange and go back to my office. He took my son to school and then went to his office. I want an update to make sure like everything went fine. He's alive and well, whatever. Two hours later, he finally calls me back. And he's just like, oh, that was just like so emotionally drainy. And I was like, Well, do you feel like a weight slifted? He's like, no, I just like, I'm just like, oh, deal with it. Like, and the other guy took it fine. Like, I was like, what's the problem? I just got so much work to do now. I'm like, well, tough shit. Like, that's life. And so then I go to Pilates and I he calls me when I'm at Pilates, so I call him when I'm done. Uh, I can tell he's in the car, but I was the one thing I had asked him to do because I realized as my daughter and I were getting ready to leave for the doctor appointment, which we were already running late for, that pepper had not been let out. And of course, I take a lot longer to get ready for work than he does. So I'm always getting ready. He's supposed to be doing the things. He puts on like joggers and a t-shirt and a hat and calls it a day. I have to do a whole like business professional office look every day. So he's supposed to, I got up, I put laundry in the washing machine because our house manager's been out sick. I unloaded a dishwasher load, put a new one in. I got both kids breakfast. I fed the dog. He had to get the kids dressed, and he had to let the dog out because she doesn't like to go out first thing in the morning. She likes to take her time, she wants to have her cookie first. She's like the whole situation.

SPEAKER_05 10:24

She's very particular.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

She is, she has a routine, obviously. We all do. So I peek my hat out 10 minutes before I have to leave. My daughter's still sitting at the kitchen table with him. He's just staring down at his phone, watching stupid videos. She's watching her iPad. She's finished breakfast 20 minutes ago, probably at this point. Hasn't started getting dressed yet. I'm like, why? Go get dressed. Like, what are you doing? I was like, Garrett, can you not parent for like 10 minutes? Like, I'm trying to get ready. Yeah. He's like, Oh, I didn't realize she was still sitting here. I'm like, she's two feet from you. Like, what? She is a very silent individual. She is silent. I forgot it was with Jamie, I think, somewhere. I think we're like, it was at the studio with me in the lobby, and like me and I were just talking, and I was like, Oh, we probably shouldn't talk about that in front of her, whatever it was. And she's like, Oh, I didn't realize she was here. She was so quiet. I was like, I know. She's self. She is. So, whatever. I'm getting ready to leave, and I realize all the doors to the outside are still locked, which means that the dog has not been let out. So I let her out, and he has like literally three jobs in this house. It is to take the trash cans out on Sunday, which every Monday morning when I leave to go teach 6 a.m., I have to text him, hey, make sure you take the trash cans out. They're not out yet. And one of the bins comes super early, or one of the trucks, like I think it's the landscaping truck, or it was, it's like one of them comes super early. And then pick up the dog waste in the backyard. Basically the outside chores. I yeah, me and the house manager have everything inside covered. So, and then he has to deal with the chickens. So I go out back to like quickly let her out. There is dog shit literally everywhere. It's disgusting. And I'm like, gross. So I text him and I was like, when you come back, you need to pick up the dog poop. Like it's so bad. And um, whatever. So then he calls me when I'm done with Pilates, and I can tell he's in the car. And I'm like, hey, did you pick up the dog poop? And he's like, Oh no, I forgot. I was like where are you going right now? Like, you're not home yet. He's like, Well, I'm on my way to go hit golf balls. And I'm like, He had to decompress from his own. He was so oh, he was so stressed out. He was like earlier when I spoken with him, he was like, I feel like kidney stone, like I was just so stressful, and like I'm just like the drum, the drama of firing someone. And granted, this was his first person he's ever fired, but like it's a stressful thing. I mean it's stressful before, but then like especially when it goes okay, you're like weightlifted, moving on with my life. No, it was an excuse for him to go hit golf balls. So, whatever. Then I'm in meetings, and Wyatt was supposed to go to this like athletic training place, and our friends who are gonna pick her up at our house to take her, whose daughter was also going, texted at like 3 45. And the dad was like, Hey, I'm leaving work right now. Can I swing by and pick up Wyatt if she's ready on the way home? I get notifications when she's checked in and out of school. And so I know that she's not been checked out yet. And I try calling Garrett, doesn't answer. And then I go and find my friends, and he's at the golf course still. This is like two and a half hours later when you're supposed to be going to the driving range. Like, no one goes to the driving range for two over two hours. Like, you either played half of a round or you are at the bar. So I text back and well, considering he hasn't responded and he's still at the golf course, which is 45 plus minutes away from where the kids' school is. I'm guessing she's not at home and ready to go. So I leave work early to rush out. Keep in mind I got to work early, late because I had to take her to her doctor appointment and rush to meet them. They meet us at the school. They had to bring her clothes because she didn't have, she was just wearing her school uniform. The audacity.

SPEAKER_05 14:14

And like So you what do the children do when they haven't been checked out?

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Do they just like place? Well, they have like well, they have after school care. Okay. So if they're not picked up by a certain time, they go to after which my kids go to after school almost every day. Like he never picks them up like right at 3 15. Yeah. But he usually picks up around 4 30. Well, if we have an event, you know, you like you pick up earlier. Like that's just how being a parent works. Yeah. And that did not happen. And so then he finally calls me like 20-ish minutes after I left work. He's like, hey, what's up?

SPEAKER_03 14:46

I was like, oh. And he's like, what's going on?

SPEAKER_02 14:52

I was like, you were supposed to take Wyatt to the sink today. And well, he had said he wanted to go to her first one, but then I the other guy was, I can just bring her if he wants to, because it's kind of far, so he's like, you don't have to post driver cars, whatever. And he's like, oh, well, I didn't know that was today. I was like, we discussed that you said you couldn't take her until after talk season. And it is now like what two weeks after talk season, and she's still not gone. And this had always been a discussion. She was going to go on Tuesdays because they have football practice Mondays. Her friend has soccer Wednesdays, she has horseback riding Thursdays, and they have a football game Friday. Like Tuesday's the only day that we're gonna have to go. She's booked and busy that one. Right. We're booked and busy. So like Tuesdays was always the day. You had some excuse. Oh, you said you had appointments till four and you couldn't take her last week, and then whatever.

SPEAKER_03 15:44

So is he alive?

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Well, yeah, he's screaming, he's having a screaming match with my five-year-old. So he's alive for curious things.

SPEAKER_05 15:56

This is just true. Men could never do anything a woman can.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

No, if I was dead, I was telling Ava this earlier when I was venting. I was like, if I was dead, the dog would never be fed because I am the only one that feeds that dog. And when I travel without him, I am deadly afraid she is going to pass away from starvation because I swear she maybe gets fed once a day. If I ask him if I'm like out late or something or working later or whatever, I was like, I come home like, oh, did you feed pepper? He's like, oh, she still had some food left over earlier in the day. So I just didn't feed her more. And I'm like, the dog doesn't overeat. She will eat when she wants to eat, and she eats till she's full. That doesn't mean she's not going to be hungry because she didn't eat her breakfast till 12. Like, she's a picky bitch, okay? We like to eat when we want food available to us when it's available. The water bowls always empty. Same.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

Like the kids, he would never be able to manage these schedules. Like, no. No. No. No.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

And they would go on no vacations because he plans to know them. So no birthday presents. No Christmas presents. No Christmas presents. Don't get it started on birthdays. Nothing would happen. No. And every day I think if I was a lesbian, how much easier my life would be. And like sometimes that makes me really sad. I know. I know.

SPEAKER_05 17:18

So shout out to the lesbians because you guys figured something out. Yeah. We wish we were you. We wish we were you to deal with men. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

And this is why the men of the internet hate us.

SPEAKER_05 17:32

I know. And I was as Katie was uh venting to me about this over the phone before we recorded. I was like, you know, my husband is, I have to give him credit, but then she had to bring me back to reality and be like, he's never home.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

Yeah. He's literally never home. So it's great. You're basically a single girl out on the town, the town being your house with your dogs. And just like, you have to clean up after just yourself. I have to clean up after all of them combined. Yep. And also, let's talk about the video games. Oh. So he got into, I think we've discussed this perhaps. He got back into World of Warcraft because of his alleged friends who sucked him into this game that just takes his whole entire world up. So every Sunday they have a raid, and the raid lasted over four hours on Sunday. I swear I was asleep. Sunday from 6 o'clock till God knows when. I think I went to bed around 9:30 and he was still playing this game. This raid is going on. So what happens? The trash cans don't get put out. I have to wake up at 4:45 to go teach a class. Trash cans sure should are not out. His snack plates are left around the house. So I'm picking those up because he has a late night snack. And this is just what I deal with. So now I've implemented a new rule. He is not allowed to play his video games on Sunday until the trash cans are put out and his mess is cleaned up. And this is what it's like being married to a 36-year-old man. It's essentially being married to a five-year-old toddler. Because that's true. Where we're at.

SPEAKER_05 19:11

You have to put perimeters in place. You have to put in rules, regulations. My husband has the same. You need to ask for permission when you do your video games because he will get sucked in for hours. Hours. I'm like, no, I haven't seen you in weeks. Like, and also I should not be doing the dishes right now. I should not be taking out the dogs.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

I should not be taking out when he's gone. And it's also not like you're just a stay-at-home wife that doesn't work. Like you have a job too. So he's not home and working. You are home and working, and you're doing all these other things. He should pick up the slack when he's home. Yeah. My husband should just pick up something, a fork, maybe he left behind, a cup. I don't know. Just pick up something and put it away. Bare minimum. That's all I'm asking. Bare minimum. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:04

Wow. To think at one point in our lives, we were like nervous or got the butterflies when we would see them.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

Hmm. I don't remember those days at all.

SPEAKER_03 20:19

It's far behind.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Too far behind. Too far behind, Jill.

SPEAKER_03 20:25

No. That is so funny.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

And then also, I my pillow, I will have just made the bed or just fluffed the pillows on the couch. And we have pillows in the two end corner through this uh L-shape sectional. And then pillows in like the corner. He has to always sit on the pillows. And you can't sit in the sections in between with no pillows right after I fluff them. And you know he's not getting up and fluffing them when he's done. No. He's not doing the karate chop and the fluff and the whole thing. No, he doesn't eye. He doesn't. And he gets he has no self-awareness about the fact that he's doing this. Well. The fact that this man is honestly still alive is mind-boggling. This is the self- this is the self-control and respect for humanity that I have in me right now.

SPEAKER_05 21:16

Yes. You know, you are not alone. I feel like every wife feels this. Let us know in the comments, work wife fam. Yeah. Are we alone? Are we alone? No, no, no. Because we have like completely different um situations as far as husbands, and mine is just never around. And yet this still happens.

unknown 21:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

In the moments he is there, they're all the same. You know what man I do respect though? Who? So did you watch all the like clips from the White House correspondence dinner with like the Yes. So it's the guy that's the There eating his like mashed potatoes still or whatever he was eating. He's just not a care. And then there was a photographer who was taking photos, like because he was a in the press and had his glass of bourbon with him still. I'm like, you know, yeah, those are the men. We respect you men. But the ultimate winner of that night was the woman who was caught on camera taking two bottles of wine off the table as they were evacuating. And you know what? We see you and we appreciate you and your contributions to the love of Vino.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

So no notes. Cheers. No notes. Well done. Well done. Our good and faithful friend out there.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

Just out there looking for a good time. She was going to the after party. She needed to bring a roadie and she brought two. So that's great.

SPEAKER_05 22:54

I think in those moments of complete terror and unknown, what do you want to have with you? What do you want to dye with?

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Wine. Bottles of wine. Yeah, and mashed potatoes. I don't know that he was eating mashed potatoes, but I for some reason am on a mashed potato cake right now. So I just and Phil was kind of like colored, so I'm just envisioning it as mashed potatoes. And I am very proud of him. It was just like, oh fuck's good, and I'm just gonna sit here and eat my mashed potatoes. Everyone's ducking and covering around me. He's like, I'm gonna go out. I'm gonna do it with a potato in my mouth. You know, exactly. You can't blame him.

SPEAKER_05 23:29

There comes a point in life where I strive to be that and to hit that in life where I just don't give a F. And if I'm put in that situation, like Jesus take the wheel, let me enjoy my last meal.

SPEAKER_03 23:45

My last meal.

SPEAKER_05 23:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:48

I love it. Oh wow. What a time.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

What a time. Well, we didn't prep um an I just realized an email reading today. But that's okay because we have decided, me, being Katie, that we are going to not go two hours today. So this is gonna be great. And we haven't filmed in so long that we have a lot to catch up on. But I would like to highlight my most recent venture.

SPEAKER_03 24:17

Which one?

SPEAKER_02 24:18

My series I've started on Instagram, where I take photos and submissions of Cybertrucks in the wild. The more obnoxious, the better. And I post them. So if you do have any, and I'm talking like decals, graphics. If it's just the normal silver, boring one, don't send it to me. It's just not worthy. Right. Weird license plates, obnoxious colors, graphics.

SPEAKER_05 24:45

What you know has to double take and be they specifically asked for this.

SPEAKER_02 24:51

Yeah, don't send me the normal silver ones. Those are no, they're whatever. Whatever. Still gross, but yeah, you have no creativity if you got a normal silver one silver one. But anything else? My greatest one. So I've gotten a ton of submissions from New York City. Shout out to the people of New York. Because apparently, first of all, I would not think that a cyber truck in New York City is like who's driving that? And first of all, I can never drive that.

SPEAKER_05 25:20

Number one driving in the city, wild behavior. And you're driving a cyber truck. I would have a mini Cooper.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

Like, I just there's no room in that city. No.

SPEAKER_05 25:30

No, no, no. Where are you parking?

SPEAKER_02 25:32

Where are you truly? Um, but I have gotten a lot of submissions from New York. And I love that my girlfriend messaged me on Instagram the other day after one of my posts, and she's like, I there was this really good one, and I was trying to not like good in a bad way. I was trying to take a picture of it, but I was driving and I couldn't get my phone out fast enough. And I was like, I appreciate the effort that people are putting into my obsession with these monstrosteros monstros monstrosities. Monstros, yeah. I was saying monstrosters, is that a word? You know, monstrosis. It is today. We're gonna go with it. Monstrosities. Yep. I did have one though, and it was a terrible photo because I was literally, as I was driving, I had like 0.25 seconds to take the photo. And can you put some of the um sweet chili sauce on it? Like, and I went a little, I mean a lot, thank you. The man of the hour. He's trying to redeem himself. As usual. Um, but there was like a light pink one, and immediately the first thing I thought of is the Mary Kay cosmetic Cadillacs that they get when they sell a million dollars of product or something.

SPEAKER_05 26:36

Once upon a time in the early 2000s, that was it. Everybody and their mother was doing Mary Kay. Remember Avon 2? All of them. I think my mom did Avon, or we always got the little magazines. And I remember um I'd go through those and like circle what I wanted for like my birthday or Christmas, and like it was a big deal.

SPEAKER_02 26:59

Yeah, no, I uh remember Lula Rowe?

SPEAKER_01 27:02

Lula Oh, yes, do I remember Lula Rowe?

SPEAKER_02 27:07

But no, immediately I thought I was like I held a party for Lula Rowe. Once I went to my share of Lula Row parties.

SPEAKER_05 27:14

Oh, like chef. Remember that? Nobody came to it, or only my mom and another person came, and then a previous client came, which I will not say.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

Well, I know who I already know who you're talking about without even knowing. Do you? I just think of who would buy those leggings.

SPEAKER_03 27:34

To be fair, I did buy I already know who you're talking about. Sorry, I have read previews off, so I have to open my phone. Yeah, yeah, I could have opened them. Yeah, it's clear. I I will say their leggings were very soft. They were very soft, very buttery.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

Very buttery. I wore them a lot when I was postpartum with Wyatt because I did go to a LuluRoe party. But Shadow MLMs, you know, you guys just took people's money, bankrupted single moms, like, you know, you're doing it. Yep. But yeah, I really think Mary Kay, if they still are they still in business?

SPEAKER_05 28:13

I haven't seen the pink Cadillac in a while, but I will randomly see one in the streets, and it's only in Orange County. It's a huge hit.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

I very rarely should go see. They should go for light pink Teslas, cyber trucks.

SPEAKER_05 28:30

Yeah. Um, it's already an unfortunate-looking car. But I feel as though we felt that way when Tesla's the first model came out, and now like cars are slowly starting to like morph into that, and or we've just gotten used to that look. So remember this conversation. Cars are gonna morph into more and more those cyber trucks.

SPEAKER_02 28:57

God, I hope not. They're the most unfortunate looking cars.

SPEAKER_05 29:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:01

So the FJ Cruiser was just as also a tragic car. Do you remember the FJ Cruiser?

SPEAKER_05 29:06

Yes. I went before I turned 16, I had a list of cars that I wanted as my first car, which are all kind of unfortunate, like PT Cruiser. So ugly. Oh my god. Someone, I don't know who someone in Orange County had a PT cruiser that also had like wood panels. And I was like, oh, that's so cool. Like cruising out on the beach. Yes. Um, a bug, which I ended up having, a VW bug. God. I had a little flower, it's a convertible. His name was Mr. Norwal from um the movie Elf.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

So I also really wanted a convertible bug, and I didn't get one. But then when I met Kelsey in college, she had one and it was a butter yellow color. Cute. Or I don't know if that's what they called it, but it was kind of that creamy color and it was my dream.

SPEAKER_05 30:07

It was so cute. So 2000s. I loved it until it blew up on me on the freeway.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

Cute. Were you okay? Oh, yeah, I was fine. I lived. You're here.

SPEAKER_05 30:20

I'm here to tell the tale. It started smoking because um I didn't know that you're supposed to get oil changes in cars. And so mine just like burned all the way through the transmission. The coolant was leaking onto the transmission, and then it just started firing on the freeway. It was to the point where I was pushing all the way down on the gas pedal just to go like a couple miles per hour on the freeway.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

There I am, just like cruising in my VW convertible bike.

SPEAKER_02 30:58

That's how embarrassing. And also, did your insurance cover that? Because I'm guessing they did not. You know, I've clearly blown that we're not covering that shit.

SPEAKER_05 31:11

No, my boyfriend at the time really tried his best in revamping the car and bringing it back to life. So shout out to you if you're watching this. You know who you are.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

You know who you are. You remember that time in life. The good old days, good old days, good old days down the freeway.

SPEAKER_05 31:33

Yep. Um, but yeah, Mary Kay cars.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

Mary Kay, Cybertrucks. So if you're into Cybertrucks, follow me. Send me your Cyber Trucks in the wild. I want to put them on blast. If you own a cyber truck, I'm sorry that you are a poor decision maker and I will play for you. But other than that, you know, if you want an electric car, if you're into the environment, I mean I have one, so I get it. Rivian is a great option. I don't know anything about the company. But they look normal. They don't look you have to be the most obnoxious person on the road. And that's what Cybertruck is giving. Yeah. You just know like Kanye West owns a Cybertruck. Like, and it's I don't even know that for sure.

SPEAKER_05 32:19

I feel like there's he would a paparazzi video or photo of him entering or coming out of a cyber truck.

SPEAKER_02 32:28

Yeah. If you own a cyber truck, you have made a choice that you need to stand out and be the person that has like the most obnoxious, but like edgy and cool looking car, but really you just look at so I applaud, I pray for you, and I hope you make better decisions in the future. And you know, we all make mistakes in our life, and I think that's the moral of the story. I've made my share of mistakes, not that one, but to each their own.

SPEAKER_05 32:53

Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those days. Do you think your husband would ever get a cyber truck? Oh, hell no. Does he not like them? No. Good. She has a truck, and yeah, that will be staying for a long time because he spent so much money on the case.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

Okay, like money aside though, do you think that he No, never. What he would be made fun of. Blank checkbook. Okay. No. Now his coworkers are not Cyber Truck fans.

SPEAKER_06 33:23

No. No, he would be quickly made fun of in the office.

SPEAKER_02 33:31

Good. I always sometimes get worried that someone I work with is gonna watch this and like think something, and I never talk negatively about any of my current workplace because I really have nothing to say except the guy who shamed me about wear meat up burrito. But um the cyber truck thing came to mind. It was like when I started posting, I was like, what if someone in my office? But I was like, you know what? I've been working there for a year. I've never seen a cyber truck in our parking lot. So watch you're gonna see one roll up tomorrow. Tomorrow, someone's gonna get one. Yeah. But I'm gonna have to post it. It's like my civic duty. You're gonna have to. Yeah. Um sorry, I'm schwitzing over here. Schwitzing. It got hot all this. I didn't think my AC turned off. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:12

Well, I'm proud of you. What an adventure. It's really, I am committed to the cause. And if if if I post your cyber truck and you're proud of it, great.

SPEAKER_02 34:29

You should be proud of what you spent an absorbent amount of money on. Yeah. That looks like that, you know? So you got featured on some negative D level insurant account. Good for you.

SPEAKER_06 34:47

Good for you. Good for you. I think that's what your husband says. It's from something though.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

I think I say that good for you. Good for you.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

Speaking of which, you didn't put enough sweet chili sauce on this chicken bowl. Girl. Um, what a fun time.

SPEAKER_05 35:12

I wish I had something to share from social media, but how's you do?

SPEAKER_02 35:17

Your pregnancy reveal video. I don't know if we talked about that in the last one. It was so good.

SPEAKER_05 35:23

Yes, I have something queued up in my drafts of something else I'll be doing because I was in California. I've been in California twice now since being pregnant. Once uh wait, no, three times. Early January when I was yeah, very freshly uh pregnant, and then in February when I was just saying audios to my first trimester, and then a few weeks ago hitting my second trimester. And I filmed lots of content, lots of videos for Pure Bar. So I'm gonna be sharing that on the gram of like things I did in my first trimester. It was just a bunch of my intros to the classes I filmed. Yeah. I I thought so. I'm proud of myself for that.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

I'm proud of you. Thanks.

SPEAKER_05 36:31

You know who can never do what we do? Me. Our husbands. Truly.

SPEAKER_02 36:39

I could never film X plus while pregnant, or probably at all. But our husbands cannot even take one class, a 30-minute one.

SPEAKER_05 36:49

No, no, no. They would no, that's too much pressure for their little brains. And speaking of pressure, we are in the process of being homeowners very soon. I guess it's like official. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

I mean, it's only not gonna work out if you find something bad with the house during your inspection that's like they're not gonna pay to fix, or and then it's just like an absolute like there's like black toxic or something. We pulled out of a house in escrow once, and it was because it was a flip. It was before right before we bought this house. It was the first house during that cycle we were um in escrow on, and they had opened up the floor plan, made it like modern fire style, like everyone was doing like a couple years back. And coming from construction background, I asked to see, like, even if you didn't permit it, because whatever, that's not you know, you do you, but at least show me like the structural calculations that this like massive beam you put in to take out all of these lead-bearing walls, like was calculated to support the weight of the roof. Like we live in earthquake country. I want to make sure we're okay. Yeah. They couldn't provide that. We had the best inspector. She they had installed a tankless hot water heater right below the gas meter, which apparently there's some, like, I don't know if it's like a firehouse or something. There's something you're not supposed to do with that. Yeah. And then she put a marble outside the front door, like on the kind of paved area.

SPEAKER_04 38:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:26

And it rolled straight down into the house. And she's like, if you get a heavy rain, like however, they re-slipped the yard. Yeah. And then flipped it. Um, if you she's like, if you get a heavy rain, your house is gonna flood. And then the kicker was, I mean, all of those were like major enough to like be caution items. Yeah. They made it seem like the roof was new. Like, I don't think they ever explicitly said it was new, but it was like kind of the they use like tricky words around it. And she's like, no, this roof is super old. They just painted it black. And like they painted the shingles. So we pulled out of that one, but there's other like the other houses we've bought, and there's there's issues with them, and you negotiate with the sellers and if they're gonna pay for it or if they're gonna give you credit, or sometimes they're just like, Yeah, no, we're not doing anything. Like this house, we got very little credits, but there were 17 offers on it, so we didn't have a lot to like negotiate with. So yeah, you know, I think it's like you're good.

SPEAKER_05 39:30

Yeah, I think we're good. Um, but man, what a fast four days.

SPEAKER_02 39:36

So my oh my god, yeah, that happened in like less than a week.

SPEAKER_05 39:40

Yeah, less than a week. So on the common theme of what we've been talking about, of our husbands not being able to handle our lives if rules were reversed. So when I was in California for work, I had been telling him, like, we live on the third floor of an apartment building.

SPEAKER_03 40:01

With no elevator as an apartment building.

SPEAKER_05 40:03

No elevator. Two massive dogs. And so I had shared with him, I was like, hey, like, I don't know how I'm going to physically do this going up and down these stairs with a newborn with two massive dogs that need to be walked and have to use the bathroom on a regular basis. Like, what am I gonna do before I go to bed? And they have to go to the bathroom. And the baby's sleeping. Yeah, and the baby's sleeping. Like, I can't just leave the apartment and like leave a baby by itself, you know? He's like, you'll just strap him into you and you'll just go down. I'm like, Oh no, sir. No, I was like, dude, what? And so um I left for quite some time, like almost two weeks. And he was home by himself for a week, which is unheard of. And he called me like two or three days into him being by himself. He's like, Yeah, so you're extremely right. Like, there's no way you're gonna be able to do everything on your own. I was like, Oh, you don't say you came to that realization. Glad you came to that realization. So uh he was sharing with one of his bosses at work, and he's like, Well, actually, my wife is a realtor. Like, let me give you her contact information and she'll give you all the details. She is efficient. I love this woman. And oh, sorry, she's having a bad dream. Poor girly. Um, she's very efficient, as a realtor should be. She immediately started sending him a bunch of homes. She's like, just tell me the locations, what you're wanting, and I'll send you some listings. And of course, like, my husband does not respond to text messages. You're lucky if you get anything.

SPEAKER_02 42:05

Why would she text him?

SPEAKER_05 42:06

Exactly. Like, I feel honored just to get a phone call from him.

unknown 42:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:12

So proof of life.

SPEAKER_05 42:14

Proof of life. Like, yeah. And so I got home and he was like, Oh yeah, uh, I've been in touch with the realtor. I was like, What? Like, do you want to show me the home she's sending you? It's like, oh, yeah, on with the dogs.

SPEAKER_02 42:29

And he was like, We need a house.

SPEAKER_05 42:30

Yeah. And so he was showing me some of the stuff. And some of the homes he was showing me are things I've been like looking at on Zillow since for the like the last few months, because this has been in my brain ever since I found out I was pregnant. I was like, I cannot live here with child. And so I was like, okay, well, let's schedule a time to like meet with her. He's like, I'll just give you her phone number. And so I texted her right away. I was like, Hi, it's me. I'm wife of band that does not answer the decision maker. Yes, I am the decision maker. Um, send me all the stuff. This is what we're looking for. These are the areas we want to be in. We're pregnant, we want to be in eight out of ten school districts, preferably 10 out of 10. Yeah. And so, obviously. And she's like perfect and just like right away started sending me stuff. I was like, perfect, liking all the ones that I wanted that were like within what we were looking for. And she's like, um, when's his next day off? And I was like, huh, well, I really don't know. And so she's like, I'll check with my husband. She's like, okay, so he has these two days off. Can we go look at these listings in those two days? I was like, can we do it in one day? Because we just, yeah, need to get it done because the next day would be like a day for us to. Think about things and make decisions. Anywho. So we spent a whole day looking at homes. We went all over Knoxville, Tennessee. We saw all different types, all ones I was like, yes, immediately no, yes, immediately no. And a lot of them had some acreage. And we thought we were people that wanted to be on pieces of land. Which sound sounds nice, but I was so happy that his boss came along for the ride with us with his wife. She's like, I can't persuade you on anything because like this is your guys' decision.

SPEAKER_03 44:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 44:40

And he's like, but I can. He's like, the last thing you want to do, he was telling this to my husband, the last thing you want to do coming home from a work trip is yard work. I we witnessed it. Like these men do not want to work when they are home. Clearly. They can't even have a dish. No, they come home from work and they go straight to the couch on their phone or go take a nap or on the computer and start playing games.

SPEAKER_02 45:12

Like there's no way five acres of grass. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:15

No. And um like maybe when he retires and he has nothing else to do, yeah, but not right now in this moment in time. And I'm sure as hell being pretty much a single wife and a single mom that's going to be that's married, but that's how I live my life. Um fully committed though.

SPEAKER_02 45:36

Um you are just alone a lot, and it's it's the reality. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:44

I sure as hell am not mowing the lawn. I'm not taking care of the acreages that we would have. Yeah, I'm not taking care of the estate. No, no, no. And so yeah, we came across a final home. It just kind of wasn't even on our list. It just so happened to be the neighborhood that our realtor and her husband live in. And they're like, hey, like, do you want to check this out? Like, we love our community, it's super close to everything. Um, and so we went, fell in love, put in an offer the next day, and started a little bidding war for a few hours. We had four days to get this done because my husband was about to leave again for who knows how long.

SPEAKER_03 46:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 46:35

Yeah. And so I was like, this needs to be done by Sunday night. Yeah. And if not Sunday before 6 a.m. Monday morning. We got the call and message right before then. And wow. I was like, okay, I have full permission to sign our life away and write out some checks. And yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:05

I Garrett is so excited too for your house. I was showing him the listing, and he's like, Oh, they can get a boat. And they can get, I was like, Oh, yeah. Like, yeah, we're doing it. We're getting a boat. You're coming out. Yep.

SPEAKER_05 47:17

Yes. We there's a golf course on our in our community. Yeah. I don't know how it says 12 holes. I don't is that a lot?

SPEAKER_02 47:27

I don't think that's a normal golf course.

SPEAKER_05 47:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:30

No, I know nothing. 18. Yeah, I know nothing. I think they call those executive courses with if they're less than 18. Yeah. Because like an executive could play it on their lunch, break. Yeah. Uh maybe that's just nine. Because a normal course is 18. I don't know. Men have golf drop us in the chat.

SPEAKER_05 47:49

We'll need to get a golf cart because when we were walking around the community, there were people just like zooming around on their golf cards. And that's always been like a little flex and goal in the back of my head. Like, I want to live in a community where I just like drive by golf cart over to someone else's house or to another gym or the pool or like whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a whole wellness center. There's a whole like private marina for the community where we can walk the trails along the lake. We can dock a boat, launch our kayaks.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

No, you're so set up there. And yes. You know what I bet your community does? I'm just speculating. I bet you, because my parents' community does this for 4th of July, a golf cart parade where you decorate your golf cart and you go on a parade. I'm gonna bet your community does that. Oh, probably.

SPEAKER_05 48:49

Yeah. They were telling us that holidays are a big deal in the community. I'm like perfect.

SPEAKER_03 48:56

I'm ready. You love a holiday. I love a holiday. Anyhow. Well, that's fingers crossed, everything goes well. Yeah. You know what's funny?

SPEAKER_02 49:09

I have a similar story of men not believing us in our home struggles. So we have a series every year. We kind of do a little bit to our house. And um, this summer I had always planned to do my kids' bathrooms. My kids have a massive bathroom that is almost probably double the size of our bathroom. It's like the size of someone could live in it. It's a room. It's huge. When we saw the photos, the listing photos for about the house, we assumed it was like the primary bathroom, but it's not. And it's it's shared between the two kids' rooms and then a guest room. And we have guests at our Ava's room, essentially. We have either Ava and or my parents or like our friends Alex and Taylor, like at least someone, at least I'm gonna speculate two weekends a month. So it's a pretty pop-in bathroom. Yeah. And beyond that, we had a slab leak like a year ago, and we didn't want to repipe the whole house. We've been slowly repiping as we've done work throughout the house. But so we told them just run a line through the other line, which in theory was good. And they did warn us that this would happen. But because you're now putting a pipe in another pipe, the like space that the water has to travel is smaller. So we get almost no cold water pressure in that bathroom. If you flush the toilet, you cannot turn the sink on, and there's two vanities.

SPEAKER_03 50:39

Nope.

SPEAKER_02 50:40

Also, last year we were having problems with the sink, one of the sink strainings. We called a rooter out, and he was like, Yeah, the tree roots in this drain line are so thick, my tool can't cut it. Like, you need to replace the line. So it just like kind of drips. If it the kids brush their teeth, it it fills up halfway in and just like over the course of the morning slowly drips out. Yeah. The other sink worked okay. Well, the other sink a couple weeks, so Garrett had been trying to convince me, like, oh, let's wait another year. Like, why it I had promised Wyatt, I was like, You're gonna get your own bathroom. Like, she's you know, growing up and she's a big girl now and about to be in the double digits. And I was like, she needs her own space, you know? And so we were gonna give her an ensuite, and then Everett would share with off the hallway with the guest room. And so I was like, no, I already promised Wyatt we're doing her bathroom this year, like it's been a thing. We've talked about it for almost a year. Like, this is what's happening this summer. He's like, I think we can wait another year. And I'm like, no, like there's no water pressure. This sink won't drain. Like, we have basically one working sink. Well, what happens a couple weeks ago? The other sink starts leaking, and so we have to turn the water off to the sink. So now there's one sink that won't drain, water pressure just shit. And so he he calls me like one day because he works from home, and that's like he works in the guest room, and so he's using that bathroom a lot. He's like, Yeah, we really gotta redo the bathroom. I'm like, I think I've been telling you about that for about a year, but you know, I'm glad you had the idea.

SPEAKER_05 52:11

Yeah, they just have to experience it and live through the trenches of it on their own, and then it'll become realization, you know?

SPEAKER_02 52:22

Yeah. I'm glad you finally realized you you came to terms with reality is really what happened.

SPEAKER_05 52:28

Came it to terms with reality.

SPEAKER_03 52:33

I think we just segue. I told Ava I'm cutting us off at an hour 30 today. Yes. So we'll see. We'll see what happens. Our main topic. Let's do it. Great segue.

SPEAKER_05 52:47

Let's do it. Great segue.

unknown 52:50

Woo.

SPEAKER_05 52:51

Go right into it. So we are gonna be talking about meetings, micromanagers, and mental health. Because even after a life-changing announcement, your inbox still waits for updates by end of day. And I feel like we've fully experienced an inbox. Uh yeah. In our inboxes the last few weeks. It's just been oh yes. It's been popping. People have things to say. They have things to say, they want answers right away.

SPEAKER_03 53:25

They do. And they get them. It was funny. I uh I feel like I'll share this. Share it. If you don't like it, you can cut it.

SPEAKER_02 53:38

Um so we had a member reach out Alseen for a Zoom meeting with me, and I was just like, Zoom meetings all day. And so I gave her some times, and then she didn't respond. And a few days later, she I saw her like walking to the studio to take my class, and I didn't see her sign up in advance, and I was like, great. And you know what? We knocked out the conversation in 30 seconds in the studio. And honestly, thank you. And face-to-face conversations are so much better, and it was a simple request to change one class, and I was like, no problem, not a big deal. We'll do it.

SPEAKER_03 54:18

So this is why meetings are sometimes not necessary. Yeah, not necessary.

SPEAKER_05 54:29

It can be a conversation or an email or a text channel.

SPEAKER_03 54:36

Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. Call them.

SPEAKER_05 54:41

Except at the studios. Except at the studios. Every now and then I'll give someone a call because No, you do, but it's just like don't call and ask the front desk team.

SPEAKER_02 54:51

No, no, too.

SPEAKER_05 54:52

Yeah, yeah, no, no. For things. Don't they have a specific job?

SPEAKER_02 54:57

If you have feedback, then you email it. And and sometimes it's an email response, and sometimes it followed up with a phone call.

SPEAKER_03 55:04

Depends on the content, but yeah, depends on the context. Um yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 55:14

There is yeah, there was just a strain of like a week and a half of just like every single day. It was something. I was like, we were both being punched by these people every single day.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

I was like, whoa, one from the left corner, whoa, one from that corner, whoa.

SPEAKER_02 55:32

I'm pretty tough. And so when our last training and technique manager stepped down from her role, but stayed on as a teacher. We love her. Um, I was in one way super excited for this one specific part of her job that I love doing, which is the schedule. The schedule is like the game of ultimate human tetris, and it's figuring out 20 plus instructors, availability over two studios combined with the times that work for members, combined with the formats they're trained to teach in. And it is like the ultimate puzzle for me, and it brings me so much fulfillment, enjoy doing it. And so I was like so proud of this schedule. I was like in my mind thinking, okay, I'm gonna get teachers to only teach to the extent I can two formats per day. I'm going to try to stack formats and then put other ones at the end so there's less equipment changes. Like there was so much thought that went into this schedule, and I was so proud of it. It was like my first full quarter of scheduling after she left. Yeah, it didn't go well.

SPEAKER_05 56:45

No, no, it did not on paper from a business standpoint. Beautiful. Lovely. I looked at it and I was like, this makes so much sense. Yeah. However, we cannot make sense to people. You're trying it's hard to please everyone when you're and that's one thing, but um, when you're in a business where you have clients and a member base of some sort, you're not going to please all of them. And this is what drained me in like what it the schedule on its own. The teacher schedule, trying to appease everyone, it will cause any lead teacher or whoever's in that position to do that job to quit.

SPEAKER_02 57:40

Yeah, it's on the amount of hours I spent on it, and I actually enjoyed the process of doing it. Like it was literally figuring out a big puzzle to me, two big puzzles, really. Um, I enjoyed doing it. And then pretty quickly after we posted, I think it was the May schedule. Very quickly, we got like for most studios, we got multiple emails of like requests and complaints and all this stuff, and like this format change, whatever. And in my brain, and it's hard to articulate it to people that don't understand it. There's a reason it changed, and it changed for a reason that makes sense from a business standpoint. Now, that doesn't always mean it make sense from a client standpoint. Like, I totally understand that. Yeah. But I was so proud of like figuring out this massive game of Tetris and like Yeah to get, I think after that's just your sister, she's hung.

SPEAKER_03 58:31

I know. Very concerning. Pepper's proud of it. Yeah, she's barking at the haters.

SPEAKER_02 58:38

Um I think after the fourth email came through, maybe it was the fourth on the schedule. I literally texted Ava and our lead teacher, and I was like, I'm about to cry right now. Like, I feel like I can't please anyone. I failed. Like, this schedule makes so much sense for so many reasons that people don't understand. And at the end of the day, like I have to deal with it because this is a customer service industry. I was like, But I'm freaking done. I'm done. Yeah. I was the last couple of weeks because of how my company, my day job runs on a fiscal year from July to June, it's our business planning timeline. Some under a ton of deadlines. I wanted to get the schedule done early, which I did. Super proud of that for the whole summer. We planned out, I literally scheduled it all through August. And the amount of hours and brain power that was spent in that to get like immediate complaints of like, I wanted this format at this time. And I was like, but it doesn't make sense for this reason, but I can't explain it to you because you don't your client. And like I can't like explain to you in a way that makes it make sense and makes it feel good for you about why it makes sense. Yeah. But also, like, I'm trying to keep in mind like my teachers getting burned out of having to memorize three hours of choreo and a three-hour block of like different choreo and like different class times, like in this one.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:01

While they have like full-time jobs, while families, children.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

They have none of this is anyone's full-time job for the most part. There's a couple one-off exceptions, and we love them, and they are usually able to take on like a more complex teaching schedule. But at the same time, like I want my teachers to be happy and feel fulfilled. And like I know as a teacher, teaching three different formats back to back is a lot in the brain. Like, I cannot physically do it. So when I do have to do it, I am in the privileged position of being able to change one of the class formats and I do because, or I get one of them covered because like two is my max. Like that is just all my brain can handle. And then I know there's teachers like yourself or like others that are teaching like three to four different formats a day, and like I just can't do that. But whether or not you have a different job outside of this, like people's brains work differently, and I have to accommodate my teachers too. Like, because if there's no teachers, there's no classes. So it is what it is. So there's so many different things I'm like meshing together with that that I can't necessarily explain to clients. And so you kind of have to like take another look. And one of the suggestions actually did make sense, and we like were able to weave it in. And one of them was naturally gonna happen anyway because of a teacher change and a format change that that teacher was like able to teach, whatever. But it was just like it was a lot in like a three-day period of like being really proud of this human Tetris game I played in my brain, and then I coming up on a work deadline, I was done.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:32

Yeah, so I tapped Ava and jewels in.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:39

Yes, I took a lovely hiatus from the schedule because it got to a point where I was not well, and plus, like, you can't do any other aspect of the job fully if you're doing the schedule. Because that is, like you said, it takes up so many hours and people don't understand that. And I've had to have those conversations with members too, because they're like, Can you tell me why this changed? Like, it seems like you don't care, and you're just I'm like, you don't understand how much care goes into this. Hours upon hours, days we're gonna go.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:24

Taking to other people's prior feedback, like other clients. Like, we're trying to accommodate as many people as can. What I will say is we got uh Yelp review the other day, and when it was great, and one of the things that I love that she said, obviously, of course, the staff shout-outs which were lovely, um, was that she appreciated that we do change formats pretty regularly.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:46

And we don't just change formats to change formats. We change formats because there is a teacher availability change. There is some other logistical change of like trying to change out four different pieces, like sets of equipment in a 10-minute block of time. Like there are other reasons we're changing formats, it's not just like, oh, we think this will be here, this will be there. Like, that's not how it works. Yeah, but she does appreciate it because she gets she could only come in this one time a day, and she gets to like every month or whenever it happens, like cycle through different formats.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:19

So thank you. Thank you, personal feedback, Sheila. I'll say her name. Shout up, shut up, thank you.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:31

Um, but yeah, your inbox does not stop with the next one.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:36

I don't even stop as it.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:38

Yeah, that's it. Yes, and you know, yeah, we got hit with a lot.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:45

We got hit with a lot once.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:47

I'm like, don't they know I'm pregnant? Don't they know we're pregnant? We're pregnant, we're having a baby over here.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:53

We're having a baby over here, leave me alone.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:57

We're tired, we're doing our best. Um, but yeah. Why are we still in so many meetings, though? Yeah. Tell me about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:11

I think the meeting thing was in a response to COVID. Because I look back at my corporate life pre-COVID, and there were, I was hardly in this many meetings. Like, and I will say my current job's a lot better than my old one about meetings, but I think back and we were doing the same job that we were post-COVID. But because we could only talk to each other over the phone versus like before everything was in person, yeah. During COVID, it became much more required to have meetings. And then that just never ended. And so I remember there was times a meeting would be scheduled with people that were like physically in the same office as me, but it would be like a Teams meeting. And I'm like, just come ask me a question. Like, you don't need to like people got so used, whether if especially if they were in the office, the laziness of not wanting to get up and just like, oh, I'm gonna schedule something on their calendar and have a chat. I'm like, you're three doors down for me. Why are you yeah? Just come ask this question. Could have been answered in two minutes. Just come talk to me. But then our calendars get so stacked up with meetings because everyone's this has to be a meeting, this has to be a meeting. I'm like, really? Like, does it have to be a meeting, or could you put this in an email? Yeah, I guess there's an email. Relationships built during meetings, but not everything has to be a meeting. I think when we like overdo our calendars with meetings, you're missing out on a the opportunity to your actual job because no work actually gets done in meetings. Work becomes required as a product of the meetings. So you're not actually getting your own. Actual work done. And that means you're doing it in other times. And if you're like I was at my last company in hours and meetings like seven plus hours a day, that means I'm working at night or weekends, which my current job is a non-negotiable for me. And so I'm super happy that my current heavy is not meeting heavy. But um, so you're not able to do your actual job, and you're also cutting down on your availability for like in-person human connection with people that might happen at like the water cooler, or like just come up into my office and ask me a question for two seconds rather than blocking my calendar for a 30-minute meeting that becomes unnecessary. So I don't even know what we're talking about anymore, but I I feel like that that is my tangent on meetings.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:48

Yeah, just like meetings should have been emails. And I think there was a point with specifically the studios. We were having monthly team meetings on Zoom. Yeah. Like every single month. And now we've just reverted. I'd send weekly team emails that have now just they used to be very elaborate and it'd take me a lot of time. And then Katie was like, just make it simple, clean, simple. No one's reading it. I'm like, yeah, I know, no one's reading it.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:18

But like I literally told her, I was like, she was putting so much time. They were like in Canva and they were like, Yeah, these really cute prompts and stuff. And I was like, just put the basics, like the essentials of what they need to know, throw it in a chat GPT. It'll organize it for you in a way that's like viewer-friendly, easy to read, easy to consume.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:37

Has that worked? I think so. I mean, has it decreased the amount of time you spend on them?

SPEAKER_05 1:07:44

Yeah, yeah. It has, which is nice. Um, it's always I always do it, I try to do it Mondays, but it's always like the last thing I do of the day. And then um, but yeah, it's definitely helped. I know not all the team is reading it. Um, but hopefully it's helped just to be a clean visual of like, this is what's going on, this is what you look forward to. I don't need to put every single week our membership offers. You should know that already.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:16

Yeah, it's the same the whole month until closeout.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:19

Yeah, exactly. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:23

We've kind of debriefed everything and made it into something simple, something easy to read.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:34

Because I'm the same way too as an employee. If I'm sent something that's like way too long, I'm like, way too long, can't read. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:41

No, you I think there's some study that's like you have 10-ish seconds to like capture someone's attention.

unknown 1:08:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:48

If something takes them longer to than like 30 seconds to read, they're not reading it.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:52

Which I feel bad because since we're on the topic of micromanaging, I'm like you're that a micromanager. I feel like I am. You are. I am.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:04

I'm here to tell you this is your intervention.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:06

It is my intervention. I'm so sorry, team, but it's so hard because I'm so far away from them that and I'm such a control freak, but I feel like I do it in a very kind manner.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:19

No, you're not a mean one by any means. You're very kind about it. I think that you're leaning in and doing things that you don't need to do that they should be doing. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like telling them when it's someone's hundredth class, they should be able to check the schedule themselves and see that. Like, that's not you shouldn't need to be reminding them to do that.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:41

Yeah. I think it's just, you know, things slip through the cracks. I know what it's like being at that desk, especially at one specific studio that's a little bit busier. People are coming in, people are coming out. So people sign up last minute, and then you realize, oh no, that was someone's whatever class.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:02

Then you catch it on the next one.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:04

Yes, but then what I hate is when they it's always the wrong person that we miss because they will send a message about it. And so I yeah, I feel like I'm traumatized by the emails, by the inbox. But I like looking at what micromanagement looks like is the constant check-ins, which I feel like I do with my team a lot, but it's mainly because I'm far away. I'm not in studio, and so I'm just checking in, like, hey, how are you? How's everything going? What how's the morning? How's the evening? Like, how can I help you? Yeah. That type of thing. I don't want them to feel like because I've been in this situation before, that I don't care. And that the fact that I live far away and I'm not in the studio all the time, that I don't care about them. I don't care about what's going on. And so I think I go overboard in being so accessible, being like so like I guess nitpicky with the tiny details of things, because I just want everything to go smoothly, and I just want the studio to keep running smoothly. And I feel like the more detail-oriented we are, the better things will run as a whole.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:33

Yeah. I don't think maybe it is.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:36

I trust our team, but at the same time, I've been around this for so long now that you know people want to.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:47

I think that what you should do, I I know, but I also think it can not just with you, but just in general, come across as like a lack of trust almost. And so I think that picking certain people that are more tenured have been with us for a while, shouldn't need this kind of prompting as a good like test of like, yeah, maybe I still need to operate that way with this person, but with this person, I can give them a little more leeway and let them come to me if they have questions and not like prompt them as much, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:23

Right. But like yeah, no, that makes sense. I just need to step back a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:40

Well, like that one, the one day you took off last week to look at houses.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:44

Oh yes, kind of you it was beautiful because the studio is closed. Well, one of the studios was closed, so it was a great day. I was like, I have this uh the stars are alighting, our busiest studio's closed. I have like this one day of my husband's full attention, basically. It worked everything's aligned.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:07

But the other studio was fine. It operated.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:10

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That one's it's fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:14

It's fine.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:15

It's fine. Yeah. Um but how it can impact mental health too. So why unpredictability and over monitoring are so draining. It it's draining for sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:31

Well, it's draining for you, but it could also be perceived as being draining for the people that you're micromanaging, right? They're like, Yeah, I got this. Like, she doesn't have to remind me. Like, yeah, you know what I mean? And again, I'm not saying anyone, no one has told me that they feel like this with you. I'm just saying that as someone who was micromanaged before, yeah. Outside of Pier Bar, like I can see it was like, no, I got this. I'll come do you if I have questions. Right. And that's where it came across. And this was like a much more high-stakes thing because it was like my actual career versus like these are part-time jobs for people that they're fine. But just as like for other people listening, like it can come across as like my boss doesn't trust me. What am I doing wrong? That she has to always like check in, micromanage and check in on every single part of my day. That's how it can come across to others. Again, I'm not saying that anyone that works for you feels like that.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:27

They better not. They better not.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:30

They probably thumbs up your text if they do.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:32

Oh my god, someone thumbs up it yesterday.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:38

You know who you are. You know who you are.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:43

We get a lot of thumbs up.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:44

Maybe they are like secretly listening and know that it's a middle finger, and that's their way of like releasing.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:55

Could be, or maybe like it's changed and it's not a middle finger anymore, and we're just not in the know. Who knows? I refuse to see otherwise. It's the middle finger.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:06

It's yeah, it's not loving, it's not from the heart. It's not loving, yeah. It's not from the heart. It's like literally cool. Yeah, like cool. You hate me.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:18

Yeah, like that's the biggest F you you could give someone is that's what Ava and I do to each other when we're trying to annoy each other or we're legitimately mad at each other. Yeah. So you know, I know if Ava's mad at me, it's a thumbs up. It's a thumbs up, yeah. Bad day. What the other day we were in a group chat and I accidentally like went to respond to one of the texts, like, you know, the emojis pop up and you pick one of the things. Yeah. And I accidentally hit the thumbs up and I immediately went in and changed it to a heart. And then I posted, I was like, apologies for the accident. I'm like, fuck you. And so I don't think she had seen it. So then I had to explain, like, I accidentally thumbs up your text. I'm so sorry. Like, this is the neuroticness that it causes of like, it does. Yeah. No, I thumbs up a message.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:13

Busted up in tears because I was feeling you were. I was feeling myself that day, feeling all the emotions. Um, but how can one protect themselves with time and peace? Practical advice. I think you've given some great advice on this, just kind of push back on the unnecessary meetings. Um calendar blocking. Calendar blocking. That's something we you have spoken a lot about within your uh day-to-day and within your corporate job too, is just like calendar blocking.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:53

Um, when it's cultural versus fixable. Ooh. Oh. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:04

Um, like when do you need to have the meeting versus like when you cannot right, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:14

Yeah, just knowing those moments. Time. Yeah, the right times.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:20

Um any extra wisdom on this, my friend.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:26

I don't have a ton. I would just say, like, meetings are not always necessary. Don't be afraid to speak your mind and they are. Micromanaging your employees can lead to them feeling not trusted. But also, if you have to micromanage, this is actually why someone, I don't know if I should say this, but like he's probably not listening. My husband had to let someone go because like this person is a the type of person that constantly needed to be micromanaged. And after so many years of working for my husband, it was like, I just at this point in your career, you should not need this much hand holding in your day-to-day job. Like, it's just it's not working. I don't have the time for it. I'm doing a million other things. I'm managing all these client relationships. And like, if I have to handhold you through your job every single day, like there are some people that are not meant to be remote employees. This person wasn't one of them because they needed someone that was constantly gonna be on them. And that's just not the environment that my husband's company operates in. And so it's not possible for some people, but it's required of some people. Now, if it's not required of people, but you're doing it, that's when it can be a problem for them of like, I don't need to be micromanaged. And you don't trust me because you're feeling like you have to micromanage me and you're not giving me feedback about why you need to micromanage me or like why you feel that's that's uh and mental health, like protect it meetings, they take up too much time. Most of the time they're probably unnecessary, and all you're getting out of it is more work. So if it's not something that can be solved, an email or in a quick chat, pick up the phone, call someone, short, schedule the meeting. I think meetings are most important for like groupthink work, and I actually think groupthink has like a bad connotation, but you know what I'm trying to say. It was like minds coming together to brainstorm to find a solution to something. If it's something that's like a yes or no question, like that is self-explanatory. It doesn't need to be a meeting. Let's free up other people's time, let's free up your time, let's free up your mental sanity of like being able to get your actual job done in your day-to-day versus like having to have that push into your personal hours or weekends because you're bogged down by meetings. Amen. That's all I got. And now, do you have anything?

SPEAKER_05 1:19:46

No, I'm just you know, coming to terms that I'm a micromanager. Well, yeah, I as we were like going through it, I'm like, is this me? I don't know. Maybe. But I was like creating like excuses like, but you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:07

Well, maybe just do some reflection and being like, where can I start to pull away a bit? Yes. Because let's be real, you're gonna be going out on maternity leave. Yes. And I'm not micromanaging these folks, so we need to build them into self-starters of their job.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:27

True.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:28

They all do a fantastic job.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:30

No, they do, they're they're perfectly capable, and I know it's I I know it's everything you said of like you feeling disconnected because you're remote and like wanting to make sure they feel supported and all of these things. Like it comes from a hundred percent a good place. It's not because we don't trust them or we don't think they're capable, or they wouldn't be working for us. Yeah. Uh so it's just finding that way to like massage it into how you're working with them over the next few months before you go out.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:54

Yeah. True. True. So that's it on the main topic.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:03

We desperately, in the seven minutes we have left, because I'm putting the timer on us, um need to talk about Rhode Island.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:15

The Chef's here.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:18

Chef's kiss, it's maybe just as good as when Salt Lake City came out. It's better. It's better. The woman that they chose it, I mean Alicia. I she is Alicia. I love her.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:37

Someone who found her and hired her needs an immediate promotion at Bravo.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:41

Immediately promoted, like head of the network.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:44

Like just 10 out of 10. This woman is they're all fantastic. There is not one person on the cast. Rosie's kind of but like there's not stirs things up. So she stirs things up. If she stops that, she's gonna have a problem because the other ones have such wild backstories, or like yes, obviously Ashley Iconetti or whatever her name is is a crier, so she's always gonna have a place. But like, yes, Alicia, Liz, um Joel Kelsey, Joellen, like Kelsey's got her multiple boyfriends and amazing. Joellen's top tier, like top tier. She's not a fan. Fantastic. Rula is forgettable, but her husband's all.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:36

Yes, the husband of it all. I was dying. Did you see Sunday night's episode? Yes. With Rula and Joellen's conversation, and Rula's like, he's going to the gym every morning. And she's like, Does he look like he's going to the gym?

SPEAKER_02 1:22:53

Yeah. Does he look like someone that goes to the gym? No. It's so great. I really need someone to get his alleged mistress on a podcast because either she has legitimate inside information where she knows where he's gonna be when, and she's posting old photos to make it seem like they're together to stir up drama, or he's really still cheating on her. I suspect the latter because he was just arrested the other day, or like had charges brought against him for putting listening devices in his wife's car or something. So, not a great guy. I'm not giving him the benefit of any doubt.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:34

Insane. I would immediately leave my husband if I found that in my car. And isn't he a foot doctor? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:42

Okay, immediate red flag. If you like feet. Yeah. Red flag. Red flag. Gross. So we don't touch feeder on here.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:54

Um, yeah, no, they're for sure next on the divorce docket. I hope and pray.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:00

But their lives and their personalities, it's just uh, it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:06

The way they say words, the accents, like the whole. But he is ma. But he is ma. I can't. It's too bad. It is top tier. I had no idea Liz and Dolores were different people. They're the exact same person. They're the same person, and I love Dolores. Yes. And it is honestly one of the best works of art television has seen in the last decade. It is great. Bravo, bravo. If you are not watching it, I don't know what has your do, but this is your sign to watch it. It is, I can't say enough good things.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:47

Yes. Every woman on there, love you, Alicia. You are what I aspire to be.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:54

Like the way she casually dropped, she ran over a woman once, and like this, like all these car crashes, and yeah, I ran over a woman, so I can't drive a car. Yeah. The producer's like, wait, you ran over a woman? She's like, Yeah, I ran over a woman. It's like, oh yeah, she's fine.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:07

It's just it's the delivery without fine. I forget they eat the pizza pizza crackers. Pizza chips. Pizza chips. Yeah. It's just pizza bread with sauce. Yeah, it's what I eat.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:24

Basically, no cheese. No cheese. Yeah. Pizza chips. Who would have thunk? It is so good. I am dying now to see. So it's not like one of the best women on the show, but like Kelsey and her boyfriend. So her boyfriend I'm weirdly attached to because how so? But um his which one? Alleged the mysterious one, the one that's over shown, the one whose house she lives in. So his dad is allegedly this like judge on Instagram that's like the nice judge, and he's like, it's like Frank something. Like just Google Nice Judge on Instagram, you'll find him. Okay, like this little guy, and he like is just people like hope and pray to get into his courtroom and they film everything, and it's like a whole thing. He's like the judge Judy. Yeah, but he's nice and he like feels bad for people, and he like gives you yeah, like he's like very sweet. Like, and I had seen his videos for years of like watching it, and then I obviously did a deep dive of trying to figure out who this mysterious boyfriend was that lets her live in like a 16,000 square foot house by herself half the year because he's down in Miami with another girlfriend the other half of the year. I could never be me. Could never, honestly, though. No, you could never after today living half the year without my husband. Sounds like a dream, but not if he was with someone else.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:51

No, I've done it. Not he wasn't with anyone else, but I've lived almost half of a year without my husband and I could send my to 29 palms with Cody for like a month.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:03

I feel like that would be good. Honestly not, I don't even sleep alone.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:08

Anyway, we're digressing. But so I started doing digging of like who it was, and everyone's speculating that's her boyfriend and that's his dad. And I was like, oh my god, I know him. Obviously, we're besties. Um, no, I've just watched all of its videos on YouTube or Instagram. Um but yeah, it's I can't I'm interested to see what happens with that because the people of the internet figured out, at least allegedly, that it's his guys. Yeah, he has children that are a couple years younger than her. Right. Um I guess some media outlets like reached out to them and like, oh, you're just gonna have to see how it plays out on the show. And it's just interesting to see like what's gonna happen after how she's portrayed the relationship and how she feels about it. And then like they've never had a conversation about allegedly about her being able to date other men, but. He dates the other woman. And so now she's like dating this guy in the show. Yeah. Boyfriend number two is very like present in the show. But like living in this other guy's house, like it's so messy. I love it so much. It's so messy.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:15

And I feel like they did split up and she got kicked out, and she's having to live in the world. Yeah, she's gonna have to do hair and live in the real world and have to not have a housekeeper.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:30

Yeah. Can you imagine like going straight from like college or like living with your parents, never having a real job, into like a 10-year relationship with a sugar daddy and then getting the boot, and then like you're basically starting as like a young adult all over again, but you're in your 30s. And you're not hireable because you have no skill set built over the last 10 years.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:55

I mean, I don't have a sugar daddy, and that's how I live my life. It's just like a working divorce. Yes, but that's what's prompted me to keep working, is I can't assume like I just have a fear that he will pass away, which is not funny, but it's just like a fear. And so I have to like, and plus I can't, I mean his line of work that something that could happen. And so I have to live my life as though it could take a quick like flip and switch in a matter of like seconds or a day. So this took a dark turn.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:36

In a lighter note, Eva and I and our sisters, Jamie and Amy, did plan out in our group chat today how I'm spending Garrett's life insurance money. So did you do you have a you need to get a life insurance policy? We do, yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:51

We we did chat because we're going through a big purchess um of what actually happens to me. We had this conversation before he started another job, before he had this one, um, of what would happen if he were to well, I'm saying you move in with me and go see his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:13

But you would move in with me. It's probably a question.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:17

Yeah, I would definitely have to move back to California. It wouldn't make sense for me to be out here if that were the case. It's not gonna happen. Knock on wood.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:27

My husband How don't we get here? I don't know. We took a dark turn. You took a dark turn. That's what I like to do. We need to be done.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:36

That's what I like to do over here. I like to take sweet moments and turn it real dark.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:41

So, real husbands of Rhode Island. 10 out of 10. Top tier. Top tier. No notes. No notes.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:50

You girls are Chef's kiss. I would love to have your accent and just like have a quacka with you. Quacka. A quacka. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:02

She's a fucking hoa. Fucking hoa. But she is ma. But she is ma. So cool. It's so cool. So cool. Um, that's our program. That's our program for we're gonna do this again. In the near future.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:26

Yeah. We'll program a night. I actually prefer to film these in the mornings because I have more energy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:35

I shoppingly get like a second wind.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:38

Uh I get a second wind once we're filming, but I get I'm so drained at the end of the day that like the last thing I want to do is go sit in front of my computer for two hours, even though I love you so much and our fans, obviously. But um, I have like loved the morning episodes we've done. We tried to coordinate one this past weekend, just the timing didn't work. This weekend, my parents are in town and staying with us, and we've got like a whole agenda of kid events and things, so it's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:03

But we'll try for another evening next week. Cute. I'll be around. All right. Well, thanks for joining everyone. We will see you soon. I won't say next week because I don't know, but we'll see you soon.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:18

Bye. Okay.