54: Creating Cozy Escapes: Mallory Thomas on Love, Books, and Balancing Motherhood

Dive into "Badass Books and Besties" as Brianna interviews romance writer Mallory Thomas in an inspiring, heartfelt episode. Mallory shares her journey from content creator and mother to published author, revealing how real-life moments pushed her to trade screen time for storytelling and reconnect with her passion for soft, swoon-worthy love stories. This episode covers her writing process, balancing family and creativity, overcoming challenges, and her unique Where Is Your Somewhere Project, where readers track her book’s global reach. Plus, get a sneak peek into her upcoming fiction and nonfiction releases, including "Somewhere Along the Line" and "Bottle Service." If you love cozy reads, author insights, and uplifting conversations about carving out space for yourself, tune in for book vibes that leave you warmer and more hopeful than your social feed.

If you'd love to follow or keep in touch with Mallory, you can find her here: 

o  Website

o  Instagram: Mallory Writes

o  TikTok

o  Where is Your Somewhere? 

o  Instagram: The Formula Mom

o  The Formula Mom Website

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Badass Books and Besties podcast. I have Mallory Thomas on here. Welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

Yes, most definitely. Mallory Thomas is a writer and reader of soft love stories that make you swoon, squeal, and blush. I love that so much because those feel-good stories are what we need, especially now. When she's not writing, she can be found picking up after her two kids, joking with her handsome husband, and planning trips to the beach. She's also a baby formula expert and content creator. She strives to write books that are better than your phone. And I think we all really need to hear that. She hopes the time spent reading her books will leave you feeling happier and more hopeful than time spent on social media. And oh, I agree so much with that one. I would love to hear more about this perspective, especially since I absolutely agree that we spend too much time on social. So I'd love to hear what inspired this movement for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Yeah. So uh my day job, it's mentioned in my bio, I'm a content creator. And so I spend a lot of time on my phone. And in my head, it's justified, right? It's my work, it's how I make connections, it's how I bring in money, all of this. But I didn't realize that for my kids, they don't know that. They don't know that I'm working versus playing games or, you know, being on YouTube, like they might be on their iPads. And and I had this moment, gosh, two and a half years ago now, and my daughter was in kindergarten where she came home for Mother's Day and she had one of those booklets that they had made at school and it's fill in the blanks. So, you know, my mom's favorite color is orange. My mom is 59 years old, or you know, whatever they say. Um, my mom loves to do laundry, you know, all of that stuff that they say. Um, so I'm flipping through it and it's very sweet, very endearing. And then I get to the page that says, My mom is really good at, and she wrote, Looking at her phone. And there was this stick figure drawing of me with a little rectangle in my hand. And I was just horrified. I was like, this can't be my legacy, you know. I mean, I I cried about it for probably like three days, and then I was like, something has to change. Something has to change. And I need my kids to see me reading. I want them to be readers. Instead of being on my phone, I want them to see me reading a book. Um, and so I quickly started reading fiction again, which I had not been reading in probably like 10 plus years. I had been reading like self-help and parenting books and memoirs nonfiction. So I started reading for fun again and then quickly realized that like uh I still had a passion for writing that had been buried for years and years at this point. And after doing so much reading, I was like, maybe, maybe I could write something. And the idea of my kids seeing me create something and not just be a passive consumer also felt important. And so I started writing. This would have been just over two years ago now, and it has been such a journey since. And I I tell my daughter, you know, she's my oldest, she is the catalyst for all the best things I've ever done, uh, including this.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

I really love that story because I resonate with it so much. I remember years ago, I think our children are the same age, or my daughter is the same age. And I remember I was asking her help for something, and she said, Hold on a minute, just one minute. And I thought, where is that? Oh, I'm pretty sure I have said those exact same things. And she's also the catalyst for so much because after she was born, I started reading to her every single day. And I realized, wow, I really love reading aloud. And then suddenly I got into a book selling business. And then I thought, oh my gosh, like this is exactly what I love to do. It's getting my passion back to reading. And then every time I thought about the next step, the next step, I thought, I want to do something that provides me more freedom. I want to be there for my kids. And it's amazing how you don't think about it before you have children, but then as soon as you do, it opens up this incredible world of, oh, I have so much possibility. And I love that it inspired your writing journey. And so, what did you start to write about as soon as you realized you wanted to do that?

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Yeah, so I had this moment, it was on my birthday two years ago. I was turning 37, and I had a little bit of a midlife crisis of just like, what where am I going from here? You know, what am I doing? And um, you know, with that idea in mind of what would I want to read that more compelling than scrolling TikTok at 9 p.m. after bedtime when I'm worn, you know, worn out. And really just started with a list of my favorite things in a book, which is a compelling love story, a bit of escapism. So, you know, it's not as heavy as the real world, um, a setting in my favorite city. So I did Chicago for that first book. Um uh found family and you know, close friends that are, you know, the relationship between the friends is almost as important as the relationship between the love interests, a little bit of spice, you know, because yeah, I gotta have that 14 years, it's good to, you know, it's good to reconnect, you know, to that part of your life. Um, and so I just started sort of piecing together. Uh, and I also love a fake dating story. I love that it's my favorite trope. And so yeah, I yeah, I started saying, like, you know, I bet if I write the book that feels exciting and compelling to me, that there are likely other people in the same situation that feel stuck to their phones, that don't feel like they even know what they even like anymore in a book because it's been so long, that it might appeal to them too. And so um, I am lucky that that hypothesis seems to have turned out correctly.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

Yeah, and I really am intrigued by the concept of the fact that you want that escapism in books because that's exactly what we all want. We want to find a new world that we can step into out of our own, even if we love our lives, we still want that. Can you just give me some love story that's going to excite me in more ways than one?

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

And just give me that feeling of, oh, I can go inside this love story. And some people feel like if they have something a little too hallmarky, they might think it's not believable. So when you write, do you add that element of realism that this is something that you could have, or is it a complete escapism of this is the perfect world that you could have with a relationship?

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Yeah, I think for me, I try to find a balance. So I want it to feel reasonable that a person could put themselves or envision themselves in the story. Yeah. But still, I want everything to be a little tidier than what we experience, you know, day to day. So we're still, you know, talking about themes like grief and trying to rediscover yourself after a breakup or a job loss, um, you know, dealing with complicated family dynamics and things like that. But you gotta have the guaranteed happy ending so that you and and the reader know that it's worth a little bit of angst in the middle. Yeah. Um, and I try to stay away from like the big social topics that feel so heavy right now. Um, so there's lots of some, not lots, but some interpersonal challenges, but not like the huge, heavy, you know, war or um, you know, things like that.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Yeah, and staying with those things that are making us feel comfortable because we have so much of that outside in our real world. We want to take a step and go, this feels like a comforting warm cup of coffee or a nice walk on the beach, since you love going to the beach as well. And so I do. Yeah, so I'd love to hear more about your book and what readers can expect and what really was your most memorable moment writing it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

So my book is called Somewhere Along the Line. It's available on Amazon, Kindle Unlimited, Paperback, all those, all those lovely things. It's actually coming to audio in November too. So if you're an audiobook listener, uh are you narrating it as well? I am not, thankfully. Okay. I I don't know if I could. I think I'm too close to it. And I also think I would just kind of like, I might die a little bit instead trying to read it. So it'll be dual narrated, which will be great. Um, but yeah, so I I call it a you know 90s slash early 2000s style rom-com, tons of banter, like kick your feet, spice, meddling best friends. There is that fake dating element, and it takes place in a city. And so it's a fall book, which is great for right now. And instead of those, those sort of like, you know, small town corn maze vibes, it's got more like a brisk walk downtown and stepping on a crunchy leaf and feeling like the warm sunlight shine through a window on a cold day, like those sorts of vibes. Um, and so it's yeah, it's just everything, everything that I love. And I do think it makes you kind of feel wrapped up warm and cozy, you know, to get to the end.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

Yeah, and I love that to have a warm, cozy feeling as you're reading. And whenever you were writing it and after it was published, what was the most rewarding part about bringing this book to life?

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Yes. Okay, so I started a little side project along with it, um, again, inspired by my daughter, where I put a QR code in the front of the book and asked readers to scan it and log their location for where they're reading. Yes, I saw that. That's amazing. So we're calling this the Where Is Your Somewhere project. And um, it has been absolutely incredible to see. And my daughter likes to ask me to log on and see what new places have been logged. And again, I just wanted her to see sort of the power that even though it's a book, it's a physical object, it's not interactive in the same way that a phone is, that you can have this connection beyond just you sitting in your room reading the pages. And so, um, at this point, we've got uh little tags on every single continent, including Antarctica. We had a great experience with somebody um who was going and I was like, Bring the book.

unknown 10:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Um, and that's been really fun and rewarding. And also just seeing her be my biggest fan, where she'll be like, Did you know my mom wrote a book? Did you have you have you seen this book? You know, she um she's so supportive, and that's been really, really rewarding and sweet.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Oh, I love that so much of adding in the element of bringing her to see this is what is possible in your life. This is what you could do, and to see your failures, your successes, and then to also get just as excited. And it reminds me whenever I had published my book, which definitely had some spice, and you know, my daughter said, Can I read it? And I said, No. And she told her kindergarten teacher about it. And she said, Oh, my kindergarten teacher wants to read it. You know, can I get a copy? And I said, She can find it on Amazon if she would like. Not sure if I want your kindergarten teacher knowing. But it's amazing to feel that support because they're so little and they're so just celebratory about you that it inspires you to go even further. And so the fact that now you know that it's around the world, I feel like that's gotta be such a such a great feeling to know that other people are reading it and loving it and then sharing it with others around the world.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

Yeah, it it really is. It's amazing. Um, it's it's kind of wild to think about that, you know, this book exists on people's shelves all over. And and I think that's the fun thing about a book, too, is you never know where it goes beyond the first person. So somebody might log it here, but then they might give it to a friend and they might read it and maybe log it, maybe not somewhere else. And and this idea that you create something and then just sort of gift it to the world and it it, you know, once it's out of your hands, it belongs, you know, not to you anymore. And it it goes wherever it's supposed to go. So yeah, it's really special.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

Yeah, books are a gift to the world. And when we have them inside of us and want to share it, it's such a beautiful thing to really let them experience that. So when you feel that, how would you define success as an author and in your life in general? Do you feel like knowing it's out there is successful or what would show you that it's absolutely successful?

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Yes, this I think is something that I struggle with. I'm an eldest daughter, I'm kind of a you know, perfectionist of people pleaser. And it's been a process for me to try to figure out how do I define my own success because I can't define it based on hitting a bestseller list or getting a large advance, you know, those sort of like traditional metrics because I'm just not operating in that playing field at this point. Maybe in the future, you know, we can manifest it, but that's not where I'm operating currently. And so uh I created a list of basically smaller benchmarks that I wanted to hit. And I mean, it started with like selling five books, you know, it's on Kindle Unlimited, so getting 5,000 page reads, and then it scales up from there. Um and it's good for me to go back and look at that because especially I'm still on social media, and it's easy to be, you know, to compare yourself and to see other people's success and be like, okay, well, my book hasn't, you know, it doesn't have five million page reads. So I, you know, it's not successful. Um, to go back and really look at those smaller um wins. Even just, I mean, I had a box on there for like somebody on social media makes content about my book uh sort of organically, you know, things like that. Um I think the biggest success though, and maybe this is corny, but I think the biggest success is just having the courage to do it. I think what I realized in this process was that it has been so long since I have done something new and challenging. You know, we're adults, we generally just don't have to do things that are hard for us. And we ask our kids basically every day to try new things, right? Yeah. Um and so I think success for me is less about the the measurable outcomes and more about just taking the leap to do something for myself that's not, you know, in service to my job or in service to my family, but just something for my own development, for my own enjoyment. Um, yeah, and challenging myself in that way.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Oh, that is so fantastic. Instead of placing some outliers, some metric of, oh, I sold this many or I made this much. It's more about the fact that you did it because people have the idea in their head, they want to write a book, but then some never make it to that next step. And then some do make it to that next step and then never get it published. So to leave that legacy and then to have your daughter, you know, so proud of you makes you just as excited. And so I wonder in your journey with that positivity, have you had any challenges where you thought, oh, okay, to make it even better for that? Like have you had anything that just made you just feel that this was a difficult process?

SPEAKER_01 15:40

Yes, yeah. I think I think I thought it would be easier to write a book than it is. I think, you know, you have the idea in your head and you get started and you think, well, I just have to get this idea on paper. But most of us in our school lives and our work lives have never remotely written this volume of content. And and, you know, it's it felt a little like playing Sudoku, where it's like, okay, if I insert this thing here, I have to tie it here, but I don't want it to show up here, you know? It's kind of like a spider web. It's a good example, yeah. I have never run a marathon, I have no interest in running a marathon, but I have to believe that writing a book is kind of like a marathon, which is when you're in it, you know, and you're deep in the actual work of doing it, you're like, why am I doing this? This was supposed to be fun. Like, I am putting myself through this for fun, but then you get to the end and you're so proud of yourself and you're so thrilled with what you've accomplished, and you get that endorphin rush because you did something hard, and then you're like, okay, maybe I'll do it again. Yeah. That's that's sort of the undulation that I've experienced where every time I get into really the thick of it, I'm like, oh my gosh, this is so hard. Like my brain doesn't want to work like I want it to work. And it, you know, some days it's really a slog, but it's it's worth the effort, I've found.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

Yeah, I love that. It's worth the effort. And do you find that you're balancing your time well? Because when you mentioned that feeling of, oh my gosh, I have to get through this. But then sometimes you'll go to write and you'll say, Oh, I could just keep going and keep going and keep going. Yeah. And so I've mentioned before to other authors when they say, Oh, people will think, Oh, you've written how many words? And I thought of El Woods like, what? Like it's hard. Suddenly you have those moments where you're thinking, okay, I've got to describe this scene.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Uh, I've got to use sensory details. Like, I can't remember a single word to describe a smile other than smile. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

Just don't say smile with your teeth or with the bottom teeth or something. I've always seen people make fun of that one. And I think that balancing it with your regular life, how do you say to yourself, okay, I know I want to write. Do you give yourself deadlines or do you give yourself a schedule?

SPEAKER_01 18:07

I try, but I also try to give myself grace with it. Um, that first book that I wrote somewhere along the line, I wrote almost entirely from like 8 p.m. to like 11 or midnight. Um, after the kids were in bed, after you know, I'd done all my work stuff and home stuff and life stuff. And I got it done. But I afterward I was like, I can't do that again. That is not sustainable for my life and my quality of life. Um, you know, not having any real downtime and you know, staying up that late and then you know kids are up early. And so um, since then I've tried to be much better about identifying pockets of time during the day. So I actually scaled back my work hours. So I'm off on Wednesdays now. So um went from full time to slightly part slightly part-time, but still enough to keep my benefits. Right. Um, so now I have Wednesdays off, and that's been so helpful to manage all of all this stuff and get some writing done. But then I think I also have started to give myself permission to write bits and pieces. I prefer to have a chunk of time where I can write a whole scene. I don't love to step away mid action and come back later. It doesn't feel like nice and settled for me. But I've had to give myself permission to be like, if you can get 80 words down now, get them down now. If they sink, come back and fix it later. Um, this idea that like it's just one word at a time, whether you're doing one word or whether you're doing 500 or whether you're doing 1500, you just have to get the words down and then you can go and fix it up. Um, so I think that's helped too. And I mean, sometimes that's like in a note on my phone when I'm in carpool line, just like jotting down a couple of ideas or a handful of words, um, giving myself the flexibility that I don't have to be so like rigid has been helpful.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

Do it messy, do it messy. You know, when people say I have to come up with something perfect or I have to make sure that this is spelled correctly or that the grammatical things are correct. And I just ask them, take a deep breath and just write. Because when you mentioned those 50 words, those 10 words, that was more than you had before. And I also love that you said riding in the car line, because sometimes um, whenever I have an idea, I'll immediately take out my phone and voice note it. And sometimes I'll go back and say, oh no, my voice note did not come across correctly.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

Yeah, like what was that?

SPEAKER_02 20:42

Yeah. And I think just constantly coming up with ideas is really amazing, especially if you keep doing it. So once you start, it's almost like your body says, Oh, okay, or really your brain. It says, Oh, okay, we're we're doing this. Well, here's another inspirational idea. Here's another one. And then you start to notice things in your life that give you those bits of inspiration. And that's the most exciting part. So it's oh, absolutely just starting and doing it messy.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

Yeah, yeah, I agree. I think I can't, I don't even know who said this, but this idea that you can't edit a blank page, you know, you wouldn't. Oh, oh my gosh, I just used that quote yesterday that is very cosmic. Yes, like you just you have to get something down and then you can make it what you want, but you have you just have to get the words done first.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

Yeah, I love that. So when you think about your writing process and how you've created your different stories, what would you say is your very first step when you say, Okay, I've got this idea. What do I do next?

SPEAKER_01 21:43

Yeah, I think for me, it's easiest to create the characters first, to really think through who they are, what they want, what obstacles they face, what they believe about themselves. Um, and then to decide, okay, where am I going to place those characters? Because if I Have a good sense of who they are, then that help informs what they are going to do in certain situations. I have tried to work backwards to be like, this is the story I want to tell, and I'm going to use these two characters and try to tell it. That's much harder for me to work backwards that way, to try to like build the character around the story. It's much easier for me to build the story around the character. Um, and I would say I do kind of a mix of plotting and what they call pantsing, where you're just like flying by the seat of your pants.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

I try to have a loose outline, but I also try to give sort of the story in the character's breathing room, where as I'm writing, if it feels like it wants to go in one direction, or if it feels like things are evolving, or the character, now that I know the character more, now that we're halfway through the book, would do something different, then I go in that direction. I see how it feels that way. Um yeah, I would say that's that's generally the process. But I also, again, I try to give myself grace to to follow what feels like it's working for any particular story.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

That's so fascinating to start with the characters first, because I always go with, okay, what is my story? What do I want to tell? And then I think of the characters. So when you think of a character, what becomes your inspiration? Do you just suddenly come up with an idea or do you get ideas from other books or TV shows or anything like that?

SPEAKER_01 23:26

Oh, this is a good question. Um I would say more often it's something real life, um, maybe a situation that I can envision, and then, you know, what a character who's facing that situation might do or might be like. Um because I am a little bit older, I can't do like college romance anymore. I can't wait there. So I do tend to find myself gravitating toward characters that are a bit older, that are facing, I don't want to say like more mature challenges, but you know, that might be going through things that are on my radar or the radar of my friends, like kids or wanting kids, or infertility, or the death of a parent, or feeling stuck in your job because you've been doing it for so long. Um, or you know, this idea of like, well, who am I now? That I've, you know, am approaching 40, things like that. So I think I think that's sort of where I start and then yeah, build the story around it.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

You're absolutely right about the younger generation, because when I think, oh, I would love to be 23 or 24 again, and then I hang out with someone who is 23 or 24, and I think I feel old.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

I am ancient. I am ancient. I know. I know, and and I will read that stuff, I will gobble it up and I appreciate it. But I just like it's so hard for me to put myself back into the mind of somebody who's 23. Um, so I tend to skew older.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

Yeah, especially when you start reading their stories and you think, did I ever feel that way? Was I ever that perspective or have those perspectives? And I think when I was younger, I had all of these ideas of life and you know, relationships and love. And now as an adult, I can't even imagine being in any of the relationships that I was in in my early 20s.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

No, now I, you know, my daughter's nine, so she's she's got plenty of time, you know, knock on wood before the dating and all of that starts. Yeah. But now I look back and I'm like, who let pay schoolers have hormones and be missing and more? Like they're oh, their brains are just not, you know. But that's that's that's the fun of it though, right? Like having that sort of abandon because you don't know better when you're young. So it's fun, but just for me personally, it's hard to get back into that mental state enough to write to write like that.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

Oh, and I think about my daughter being seven and thinking, oh my goodness, when is she going to start coming home and saying, Oh, there's a boy I like? And it reminds me um when uh when I was in, I think it was a few years back, she had said something and she said, Oh, this this young boy asked me if I liked him. And she said, You're annoying, get out of my face. And I was like, good answer, you know, and not to, you know, not to uh assume her future dating, you know, whoever she wants to date, you know, boy or girl, but still I'm like, okay, at least I know. Please let me have some time before I'm ready to handle that.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

I know, I know it's wild.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Yeah, and I think that's a great segue into one of my favorite questions that I always love to ask guests is what does being a badass woman really mean to you?

SPEAKER_01 26:52

Yeah, that's such a good question. And I think, you know, you could have asked me this six months ago, two years ago, 10 years ago, and I probably would have given you a different answer. But I think for me right now, it's making space for myself. So there are certainly enough responsibilities for everybody else in my life that I could dedicate the entirety of my life, the entirety of my time and energy to what my boss needs, what my husband needs, what my kids need, what the school needs, what my parents need. Um and I would be, you know, it would be understandable for me to do that. Um because I love, you know, maybe, maybe not so much my boss, but I love all of those people. She's great. Um I don't love her the same way as everybody else, obviously. Um but yeah, it would be justified for me to fill my life, excuse me, a drink of water and then I'll continue. Yeah, it would be justified for me to fill my life with all of those responsibilities, um, sort of in service of other people that I care about. And I think what makes me a badass woman feel like a badass woman is saying, even though all of those are really valid uses of my time and energy, I am also worth my time and energy. Yes. And whether that's taking time to write or taking time to go on a walk or get a massage or call a friend, um, you know, at this stage in my life, I have to be really deliberate about carving out that time, or else the time just evaporates. It just disappears into the ether of all the needs. Um, I think that's that's the most badass thing I can do at this point is to value myself as highly as I value these other people that I care about. Yes, and being deliberate in your time.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

Because I heard I once heard a video where the man said, Whenever you are pleasing others, when have you thought about yourself? And I thought, oh, oh, um, I haven't because I've been consistently thinking, what does everybody else need? And I do think showing our children that same perspective is so important because if you give yourself to your kids 100%, you know, that's your choice 100%, but you want them to see that you still have a life. And so I will still do things, I will still travel or go off with friends, or they know that every single Wednesday I'm hanging out with my sister-in-law, you know, they say, okay, I know you're going out tonight. And I think it's important to have your own time because that makes you be able to approach life in a more fun and calm and present way. And so I feel like what is a fact about you that some people might be surprised to know or something that you do like to do in your free time?

SPEAKER_01 29:48

This is a great question. Um, so this may this is maybe a silly fact, but I have an identical twin sister. And what's been really interesting is uh with my job as a content creator and also now, you know, doing promotion for my books, my face is on Instagram and TikTok and social media a lot. And my poor sister, she did not consent to any of this. She did not consent to her, you know, her face being public. And so sometimes she gets stopped on the street and people talk to her, and she's like, Nope, I am not who you think I am. Um, and so that's just a little, a little fun fact. But thankfully I have her support. She has not been like, you need to stop doing this because I can't live like this. Um, so that's a fun fact. And then um, I also just like to cook. And I love to cook when it's not a responsibility. So I don't love to cook dinner every night. I don't love to be like, what are we making and what's everybody gonna eat? But I love on like a Sunday afternoon just getting out the recipe box and just being like, I'm just gonna make something and just again for for myself, for the enjoyment of it. Um, you know, if the kids eat it, they eat it. If not, they don't, it's fine.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

Yeah, I think that's fantastic because I'm just like that. I would love to cook or bake more, but I don't want the okay, I just got off of work. All right, now what are we eating? You know, then it takes away the fun of it. But I think I think for me, I would probably cook more if I could just have someone take the recipes, look through my pantry, tell me what I need to buy, and then go buy that for me, come home and then let me do all the fun stuff. Yes, and then someone else cleans it all up. Yes, that would be the thing. I feel like it would be perfection just to be able to cook more, but then not have to do a lot of the pre-work to get it.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

Absolutely. It's the thinking that kills me, the constant like, what do we have? What do we need? When's it gonna expire? Who eats what? Um, yes, what do we have on Wednesdays? And can I do I have time to make that on that day with gymnastics? Like, yes, the thinking is what kills the fun for me.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

The thinking is what kills the fun. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

Yes, feel free to quote.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

Yeah, I feel like that was a great uh quote to live by. The thinking is what kills the fun. So let's just go for it and do it.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

Yeah. Well, I know we talked about your book earlier, and so I'd love to know if you were to write another book or if you have another book coming out, what is your current project?

SPEAKER_01 32:20

I do, yeah. So I actually have two. I have a nonfiction book coming out in February about baby formula. Um tied to my day job. Um, so if any, if any listeners have a baby, you know, do in the winter or spring, it's called Bottle Service. It's coming out February 24th. What a great. I love that. I know. And that that was such a fun experience. It's such a different experience after writing the novel first. Um, in some ways, easier because you don't have that sort of spider web of plot points and whatever, um, much more straightforward. But then, you know, I also had all the citations. And I was like, oh, maybe it's better in fiction where I can just make things up. Yeah, make some love one. So that's coming out in February, and then I have another romance coming out in July called Double Standard. And um, it's another fake dating romance because I just love it so much. Uh, but in this one, it follows an up-and-coming actress who gets caught up in a scandal with, uh, or a you know, a supposed scandal with a married co-star, and she decides to fake date his stunt double who looks like him, to try to sort of undercut the press and change the narrative. And of course, they fall in love. So that one's coming out in July. I think it's July 26th or 28th, whatever that Tuesday is, the last week of July. Um, so I've been deep in work about that. And then I also literally three days ago was like, maybe I'll just write a little holiday novella. Um, so yeah, we'll see. We'll see if I can pull that together in the next like couple of weeks. Um yeah, just again, just trying to have some fun, you know, those other two books are contracted. And so I've been on deadlines and I have responsibilities to other people than myself for those. And so, even just this little project, this little holiday novella, being like, I'm just gonna write something for me and for fun, and you know, if it happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, it who cares, you know? Um getting back to that place of being more sort of free about it.

SPEAKER_02 34:24

And I love that you're writing nonfiction and fiction. Do you feel like both of them are pretty easy to or not pretty easy, uh pretty similar in concepts of how you approach them? Like, okay, I know I have this deadline, write this much, or do you find that one is just easier to approach?

SPEAKER_01 34:41

Yeah, it's a good question. With the nonfiction, I found myself being much more of a plotter. So being really um specific about like, okay, in this chapter, I want to cover these topics, I'm gonna break it down into these sections, bullet point, bullet point, bullet point, you know, and then I'll, you know, turn it into something narrative from there. Um and in some ways that was easier just because I know, like, okay, I'm today I'm gonna sit down, I'm gonna write this. This is how it's gonna go. Um, and being a subject matter expert in the baby formula area, it was like, you know, the the stuff is already in my head. So it's just a matter of getting it done on the on the paper. Writing a novel, you have the general idea, but how to flesh it out could go any number of ways on any number of days. And so um I think in general, outside of the citations, which may is just a skill set that is not top of my list, um, the nonfiction was a little bit easier just because it was so straightforward. It was just, you know, here are the ideas, here are the facts, here are the topics, and now I just have to write through them. It felt much more linear, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:56

Whereas writing the fiction, sometimes you get tangled up and you're like, you follow this thread and you're like, that's not quite right. I'm gonna, you know, try a different angle. You know, it's much more meandering, I think.

SPEAKER_02 36:07

So, what would be the concept that readers would expect from bottle service? What would be something that you'd want them to take away after reading that?

SPEAKER_01 36:15

Yes. Oh, you know, it it fits into so much of that we've talked about already about parenting, but just this idea that you know your family best, you know you best, and you shouldn't feel guilty or shame around making the choices that serve you and your family based on the needs and the contexts and the uh just the factors that are unique to you and your family. So it's split up, sort of it follows your first year postpartum and the feeding questions that parents tend to have, you know, from choosing a formula or you know, nipple confusion or introducing solids, or you know, how to switch to whole milk at the end of the first year. But the content is broken down into three sort of uh categories or buckets. So there are, you know, chapters that are educational in nature, then there's little uh quick tips, so actionable things that you can do today to make your life easier. And then there are mom notes, which are just like vignettes about how you might think about this season of your life and and feel more like yourself and um figure out what's important to you and things like that. So um it's a guidebook, but it's also a little bit of a memoir of sorts of my own, you know, postpartum depression and postpartum experience with that. Again, my first, my first girl, who, like I said, is the best, the catalyst for all the best things I've ever done, including this book too.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

So yeah, uh it's and and knowing all of that information as a new mom, you know, there's so much various information that you can find online, but it was very conflicting. And I remember I had read what to expect when you're expecting, and I had taken all of the notes and taken screenshots and pictures, but then when I was in it, I thought, oh, what do I do now? And I think to have a book that literally says, Hey, if you're experiencing this, here you go. And I was a uh breastfeeding formula mom. I was the one who pumped and pumped and pumped and still, you know, didn't have as much as I wanted to. So I had to supplement. And I remember going into it thinking, would I feel upset about this? And I thought, absolutely not, absolutely not, you know, because obviously I want to feed my child and that's what's most important.

SPEAKER_01 38:40

Yeah, it's you know, it's just such an emotional decision for a lot of people, um, you know, because it's related a lot of times to your own feelings of self-worth about what you can and can't do, you know, your concern about your baby and their health, you know, what does this mean about me as a mom? Like it, you know, it can get really tangled up in lots of different feelings and thoughts. And so, um, you know, what I found in 2016 when I was a new mom was the same thing that you found, which is that there was a lot of conflicting information. A lot of the formula information was like, don't do it if you can help it. Breast is best, is what they would always say. Yes. Um, and so it's really the the guidebook that I wanted and needed back then. And so um, you know, she'll be almost 10 when it when it comes out. So it's been, you know, quite the journey since then.

SPEAKER_02 39:34

And telling your story about postpartum depression, I also think is so important to share with the world because sometimes that is not something that's I say sometimes because maybe it's more talked about now than it was when I had my daughter. But I had a friend reach out to me on Facebook and she said, Hey, just FYI, I want you to know that I experienced postpartum depression. Not saying that you will, but want to let you know that if you ever have these feelings, I'm here. And at first I thought Oh, that's so good. Yeah. And at first I thought, I think I'll be good. You know, I'm generally happy. And then I started to have feelings and I thought, I need to email her. And I said, Hey, I'm feeling very uncomfortable. I have this. And she's like, hey, let's talk about it. And I think knowing that you're not alone is such a blessing because then you say, Okay, these feelings, I'm not crazy, you know, because you end up thinking the weirdest things. Like I remember one day being at home, and I said, Oh, well, my husband's playing with my daughter. Do they even need me here? I think if I just left and then I thought, what is wrong with me? Get back to it, you know, go over there and play with them.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

Yeah. And then, you know, so many people then you feel judgment about having had that thought, and you're like, what is wrong with me? Yeah. Um, I have found that over the last, you know, I've been doing this work um on Instagram at the Formula Mom for the last five years. And it's so clear to me that when you're just honest and vulnerable about your experience, that it it frees people up to be honest and vulnerable about their experience. And then it becomes sort of this contagion where you know people feel like they're not alone and they feel like they're not broken and there's nothing wrong with them, and um they feel free to ask the questions that they need to ask without feeling like they're going to be judged for it. And so um, it is a little scary to think about the book releasing and to, you know, to be that vulnerable on paper permanently, you know, like we talked about, once a book is released, it exists beyond you. Um, but I think it's really important. So I'm excited to see how it's received and and hopefully it's helpful for folks.

SPEAKER_02 41:38

Absolutely. And how would you like for the nonfiction book as well as your fiction books? What impact do you hope this has on readers? You know, what would you hope for them to learn? Obviously, with the bottle service, you hope that they recognize that they are heard and seen. And so, what impact do you hope your books have on readers?

SPEAKER_01 41:58

Yeah, I would say whether it's the fiction or the nonfiction, I want people to come away feeling warm and fuzzy and like they've spent some time with a good friend. I think that's that sort of encapsulates it. Um, I want them to be able to see themselves in the words. I want them to feel hopeful. Um, yeah, I think that that's it.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

Yeah, and I love in your bio when you said, I want them to squeal and blush and yes, yes, good feeling. You know, like it's just a warm hug. I just love that because sometimes, as we mentioned, we want those books to be an escape. And while the other books about difficult concepts are great to read as well, because it gives you that feeling of knowing what's going on in the world. But sometimes that escape is all that we need. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, fantastic. Well, I have loved this conversation and hearing all about your journey as a writer and the books. I'll make sure to put them in the show notes as well. So where can listeners go to learn more about you and your work?

SPEAKER_01 43:05

Yes, absolutely. So I am at um Mallory Thomas underscore rights on social media, so Instagram threads, TikTok. Um also at the Formula Mom on all of those platforms for my formula work. And then um MalloryThomas.com has links out to to everything. Um, but yeah, and even though I'm trying to be less active on my phone based on the experience I had with my daughter, I'm still I'm still on there a decent amount. So that's where people can find me the easiest.

SPEAKER_02 43:35

Oh, yeah. Well, it's you know, it's a platform that we use to communicate with others. And as long as we schedule it right, then you know, she'll know that it's all for a good purpose and knowing that you're promoting all the work that she's also promoting on her own.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

Yes, absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:49

Yeah, amazing. Well, thank you again so much for this conversation. I've really enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_01 43:53

Yeah, thank you for having me and give me the opportunity to share. I really uh it's really been a great, a great conversation. I enjoyed it. Yes, absolutely.