Episode 23: New Year’s Resolutions Aren’t the Problem: Being a Dickhead About Them Is

New Year’s resolutions get a bad rap. And honestly? They don’t deserve it.

In this episode, we’re talking about why wanting more for yourself is not the issue, why cynicism isn’t wisdom, and why we need to stop yucking other people’s yums. This is encouragement with a little spice, plus some real talk on how to actually keep a resolution by focusing on the process instead of the outcome.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why New Year’s resolutions aren’t the problem and why being dismissive about them helps no one
• The difference between outcome goals and process goals (and why process always wins)
• How outcome obsession in trail running leads to burnout, overtraining, and injury
• FOMO goals vs goals you’re actually excited to work for
• Why signing up for races too fast or for the wrong reasons usually backfires
• What you can control when motivation fades
• How being encouraging costs nothing and matters more than you think
• Why “don’t yuck the yum” should be a rule we all live by

If you’re heading into a new year with a goal, a spark, or even just a quiet curiosity about what’s next, this episode is for you. And if you tend to roll your eyes at January goals? It might be for you too.

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• Atomic Habits by James Clear

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey y'all, welcome back to Dirt Nap Diaries. I'm your host, Brittany Olson, trailrunner, women's trailrunning coach, hype woman, and professional overpacker of mid-run snacks. This show is for the everyday trailrunner, the ones training on real-life legs and real life time. You've got work, relationships, laundry, pets, a group text that never shuts up, and maybe a big goal sitting quietly in the back of your head that you're not totally sure you're allowed to want. You're not out here chasing podium spots, you're chasing finish lines, sunrises, and maybe a little sanity. This podcast is about trail running, but it's also about navigating life. The hard seasons, the joyful ones, and the ones where everything feels like too much. So let's get into it. Alright, it is now 2026, the new year. I remember last January felt like the longest month ever. Um, and then the year just flew by. So we'll see how this one goes. But I have been off work for two weeks, so uh I hate saying I'm not looking forward to something, but I don't want to log back into my consulting computer. But it is what it is. So um hoping this January is a little bit better than Lara, a lot better than the last one, but so far hasn't started out great in terms of our uh country. But that's not the point of this episode, just letting you know that I'm in my fields right now about a few things. But uh this episode's gonna be about New Year's um resolutions. And before anyone rolls their eyes, let me be really clear and upfront about this. Resolutions aren't the problem, goals aren't the problem, wanting more for yourself is not the problem. The problem is how we talk about them. Um, it's how fast we jump to outcomes, how we focus on outcomes and the goals, like the at-end result rather than the process. And the problem is also how comfortable people feel shitting on other people's excitement. Um, I have an athlete Kirsten who said uh yuck, yuck their yums is what she calls it. So yucking their yums uh is a bunch of bullshit. Um so this episode is gonna be, well, first of all, don't be a dickhead about people's uh New Year's resolutions or any kind of resolution somebody, you know, has. It could be in the you know, middle of the week on a Thursday, right? Um this episode it's gonna be calling, calling people out who are doing that. It's also gonna be um tips and like encouragement on how to keep that New Year's resolution or any kind of goal, really. Like when I say New Year's resolution, like it could be any goal you set for yourself. There'll be some tips in there. Um and just like giving yourself like if you have people who are yucking your yums when it comes to these like resolutions and these goals, um, how to work through that. And not necessarily with them. Sometimes those people are just assholes in the year there's nothing that's nothing gonna change. But hopefully you feel encouragement to stick to what you want, and that in the meantime you can learn a little bit from this about um how to do it. So let's get into it for sure. So this is just kind of we'll call them some friendly reminders. If someone wants to start on fresh on January 1st, that's allowed. If someone has one small thing that they want to change, that counts. It doesn't have to be some big goal. I I actually encourage like focusing on the smaller things first. Um, because small changes do lead to bigger results there. So also, I mentioned this early. If someone is excited about a goal, you don't get a gold star for being cynical about it. You never get a gold star from me for being cynical, really. Just so you know. Yes, there are times whenever maybe I sound cynical, I found sound upset about certain things that are going on. I don't try to hold those things, it's like try to hide that from anybody. But like being cynical about someone's else's excitement or happiness, you don't get a gold star for that. Okay, so just stop. And being jaded is not the same as being wise. So just because someone sets a New Year's resolution or does something else that you don't think they can do, um, that doesn't even mean they're jaded. It probably doesn't mean they're jaded. I'm 99% sure that doesn't mean they're they're jaded. It just means they want something maybe they've been thinking about for a while and they finally put it out into the universe for other people to hear about it. So just so you know, here's a little bit of truth here for you. People don't quit goals because they start in January. They quit because they don't have that support, the structure, and maybe even have set some unrealistic expectations on how things look and when things should, you know, you should reach that end goal or these many goals you set along the way. So the whole point of this is, like I said, really to like get you to stick to what you really, really, really want. Also, how to like just ignore those people who are going to yuck your yumps because you will meet those people along the way, whether they're currently in your life, whether, you know, you meet somebody new, whether they're at work, whatever. You've got people who are going to be negative about this. And, well, they shouldn't be. I mean, if you really, really think about it, I was talking to one of my athletes, Catherine, about how I'm excited about doing this episode because, like, you know, it's just, it's, it's so many people are so negative towards people who finally put it out into the universe, like, I want to do this, and then you get, and it could have been very, very hard for them. And yet, they still like put it out there and people are still discouraging them. But like Catherine had mentioned, like, you know, there's there's like group runs and workout groups, or even just individual workout people who are like, oh my gosh, I can't wait for people not to come to the gym. Not gonna lie, like a few years ago, I remember sometimes in January at the gym I was in when I lived in the East Valley, like it was like the beginning of the year, and I was like, shit, I gotta find a different time to work out because like I I can't handle the crowd of these people. It was a smaller gym, but it wasn't me discouraging others. It was more just like, hey, I gotta find a different I gotta find a different time right now because the the equ the equipment I need is not available. But and it does get busy, right? Because people set those New Year's resolutions. There's also a lot of New Year's deals at gyms. But saying the fact that I can't wait for people not to come to the gym is extremely discouraging. Um, people can feel that. People look at you like when you're at a gym too, and it's like, are they irregular here? Are they new for the new year? Like, fuck you, right? Um, you don't own the gym. And this is a quote, unless you have one in your home from from this is from Catherine, because yes, you don't own the gym. They're paying a fee. Who knows what what they're paying, right? New Year's specials, but everyone has a right to take up the space. And it doesn't matter if someone's starting again or if it's this time of year or if it's their first time doing it. It doesn't matter. They're trying. Um, versus those who aren't even trying not to be an asshole, right? Like they're they're just like, nope, nope, I'm gonna be cynical because that's what I do. So anyway, thanks, Kathleen, for the input. Literally got that like five minutes for this episode because I was telling her I was excited about it and we were chatting about running. Um, so yeah, so we are really gonna dive in. Uh, but um, let's think about like this is where I see it like all the time, like, or what I see all the time with a lot of trail runners is that outcome um obsession. So I mentioned that already about like, hey, like, you know, we it's very hard to stick to New Year's resolutions. And there's there's not just New Year's resolutions, but goals. And a lot of times it's because we're so obsessed um with the outcome. I talk about this a lot in my Trailblazer group program, but like we can't necessarily control an outcome. I mean, we can't. Um maybe your your New Year's Eve resolute or your New Year's resolution is, hey, like I'm gonna lose 20 pounds. Just using a round number, whatever it is. It is perfectly fine, acceptable, and all that to have a goal to lose weight, whatever that is. I do like specific specificity, but like you could be doing like the things that like you need to do for yourself. You maybe you're controlling portion size, maybe you're completely like revamping how you're eating, maybe you're looking at different ways to work out. Like that's the process pieces that you control. What you're putting into your body, the output you give, those types of things, you know, when you wake up, you know, all of that are within your control, right? So say you make all these changes, right? Hopefully it's small changes at a time, not just one, because when you try to make huge changes, they they don't stick typically. So you're making all these small changes, and then at the end of say you said, you know, you want to lose 20 pounds and you know, six to eight months, and at the end of eight months, you have lot you feel amazing, like you're running faster than you ever have, you're you're lifting um heavier than you ever have, like you have more energy, it's easy for you to get out of bed, all of these things, and you lost 14 pounds instead of 20 pounds. People get very discouraged by that number, right? Again, I'm talking about weight loss, we're not gonna talk about weight loss the whole time, but everything else you have done, everything you can control has given you so much, but you didn't hit that goal. Now, I've worked with a few people, it's like their minds are like, you know what? No, like I feel great. Look at me. Like I feel good, my clothes fit better, all of this stuff, I'm cool. But then you have some people who see that and will literally just be like, nah, like I didn't hit my goal. So what they do is they either stop what they were doing completely, or they go to the other extreme and like try to um not eat as much, try to work out harder. So basically punishing their body instead of loving the body that they have built. Um, so that's like one way that people, when they focus on the goal, they quit after that or they go to a different extreme too. Um, another thing is people have this thing in their mind of like, yes, I might have like 20, I want to lose 20 pounds, but if they don't get enough results quick enough, they quit too. So after like, you know, two to three weeks, if they expect to lose a certain amount of weight and they didn't, and they give up, right? And our bodies are different. Or certain times too in the beginning, especially when you're like cleaning up um a diet to eat different things, um, eat more whole foods, like you can lose a lot of like bloat and weight like quickly, like even water weight and stuff. You can and then all of a sudden, like a month later, it's not coming off like that. Um, and then people do give up again because we like that instant gratification. That's what that is. We like things have to happen instantly, but that's not how it works. Um, so that's the whole like outcome obsession that I'm talking about. Like sometimes people want to be able to like run a mile faster, they want to do a 50k where they run in a certain time, you know, they have all these things too, but like the outcome, it cannot always be controlled, is the whole point of this. But the process you do to to work towards that outcome is way more important to focus on. Um, a lot of people will sign up for a race to um basically they say like to motivate them towards that goal. Some people will sign up for multiple races um to like reach that next goal to before like talking about it, before thinking about it, um, before discussing with their coach. Yeah, who's hearing me on that one, y'all? I know some of you, you might athletes are here listening, but like you're signing up for the race because you're trying to use that for motivation. But when what happens is motivation is fleeting, I've mentioned this in prior episodes before. Um, and if you haven't built a foundation or you don't have the right reason why you want to do these races, a lot of times, like maybe you'll still do the race, but that goal kind of slips to the wayside because you're focused on this, and then you get into it and you realize, like, oh shit, like that's not really what I wanted, or like I was using this for motivation, now I no longer have motivation, and I'm stuck doing this race that I really am not on fire for. So, um, another thing like with trail running too that I see is just like they're fixating on a distance or a pace or finish times instead of the work. So, what I see more than anything, and this is not this is not new. Um, anybody who knows me, anybody who's been a distance runner at all, like they a lot of people think working harder uh means that they are going to get faster. I mentioned this a couple times too in past episodes, where you most of your runs will be at an easy effort. Like that's where especially like when we see well, most runs in general for any kind of running, but like running ultra distances, like we're not putting our foot to the foot all the way down that accelerator whenever we're we're running these long, long distances. Even with trails, like in general, even if you're not running long distance, a lot of times like you're not just taking off at that sprint, like you would say for like a road 5k, and there's nothing wrong with road 5Ks, it's just different training than the longer distances on the trail. So you focus on like, okay, like if I push harder, if I do this, that means, and I can go this for this fast for this long, I'm gonna be able to finish this race, you know, by this time. But that's the wrong work. And you're not focusing on the work. You're like, man, if I do this, this, and this, like I will like my finish time is gonna be this. You need to focus on either what your coach is telling you, if you have one, what the plan says, whatever research you've done, like most of your runs should be easy. So if all you do is fixate on, like, I need to finish it this time, so I'm just gonna push myself harder, you're outcome obsessed, and you're actually probably not gonna get that outcome because you're not working your body in the right way. Um, wanting that hundred-mile buckle or that ultra like finisher's award without respecting what it takes to earn it is something else that I see it. And that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be at the start line. It doesn't mean you don't deserve to take space to actually run or anything like that. It means that you're focused on that prize again, that outcome instead of like what it is going to take to like get to that finish line healthy, uninjured, where you're able to recover quickly, all of those things instead of again respecting like what it takes to get there. So, and look, look, like I'm not saying excitement isn't the issue, right? Like, it's okay to be excited about stuff. So that is not not an issue at all. But the issue is skipping that what I'm gonna call that boring, unsexy middle, right? The actual steps it takes to get there, whether it's for a trail run, whether it's for something in life you want to change, like it could be reading more books or reading different types of books, whatever it is, but the actual like stuff in that middle can feel very boring and unsexy, and that's what we don't like as human beings. It is what it is. But it's how people over-train or undertrain. By the way, I'd rather have people under train than over-trained, because overtrain leads to so many worse end outcomes for you. Um, it's how people get hurt, though. It's how people burn out and decide just like maybe I'm not cut out for this, instead of looking back and seeing, like, oh man, like the work I did wasn't the right work for me. So just so you know, you are cut out for it. You just can't rush it. You've really got to focus on what that process is and not be obsessed with the outcome. Okay. So this is the heart of it though, right? The process. And this is this is how this is really like where I'm gonna get into. We'll say those tips about like how to keep that New Year's resolution, um, what and uh and any goal in particular, and just like what it means to have an outcome goal and then what process goals look like too. So um I've explained this a lot to to my athletes too. So hopefully it resonates with you. But outcomes goal sounds like, you know, I want to run a 50K, I want to lose X number of pounds, I want to be faster, I want to be stronger, I want to be better, whatever better is for you, I want to read more books. Um, I want to get outside more, I want to start swimming. Um, I want to cycle. Um, you know, all of that like are more like our goals, right? Like cycling, yes, can be a process, right? But if like the ultimate goal is to cycle like three days a week, that's really an outcome-based goal. Okay. So our process goals sound like, you know, which I already just alluded to. I always get ahead of myself. I can't help it. I've got bullets, I'm not great at following them. But process goals sound like uh I I want to run three days a week in the morning, right? You can be more specific about the time and all that stuff, but it could be I want to run three days a week, even if it's not perfect. I want to strength train consistently and not overdo it. And like I need to start strength training two days a week so I can make sure I get into the habit and I'm not too sore. Uh, another process goal is I fuel every 30 minutes during my runs. Um, on my during my long runs is probably more specific there too. Um, I go to bed earlier more often than not. Now that's a process goal. I don't want to say obviously, but like a lot of times, especially if if you're a night owl, um, or if you just don't go to bed earlier, it can be very difficult to get on that schedule. So it could just be like, okay, like, you know, three days a week, I'm going to focus on getting to bed earlier. Um, and then hopefully eventually that does transition over to like a steady bedtime and a steady wake-up time, right? But that is still a process goal. Um, another process goal is checking in with your body instead of ignoring it. Uh, like there's no outcome with that. It's just like maybe your outcome again is to run that 50k, like I mentioned, as one of that could be the goal. But instead of just like running and like looking at the plan and not thinking intentionally about how your body's feeling, you check you, you, you make an effort to check in with your body instead of ignoring it. Maybe because you've had a 50k result that wasn't what you wanted. Maybe you've tried to do a 50k before and you you didn't finish or you didn't even get to the start line because you realize you weren't checking in with your body. Um, so that is definitely a process goal and it's very important for ultra running. So, but the things like you have to remember with the again, those outcome goals is you don't control the finish line, you don't control who shows up at the start line, you don't control anything except the work that you put in prior to going into the race, and then also what you do during during the race. Like that is what you can control. Like you may have the best race of your life, ran like faster than anybody, like than anybody had except for the top four people, right? And you ran really well, but those top four people are faster than you. You cannot control those people. They are coming to the start line and they're doing what they can do too. So you control basically how you show up today. So whether that's at the race line, whether that's during your training, each and every day, each and every minute, each and every hour, each and every thing that you do is something that like you can control. Yes, you have work meetings. Please do not take me as like everything like I can control, like she's being totally dumb here. No, like I get it. I have work meetings too. I have things that I have to do, but like you do control how you show up to that day, whether it's with the positive attitude, um, whether it's with the bullshitty attitude, uh, whether you're gonna be cynical, whatever that looks like, but you do control how you show up each and every day. So I do feel like trail running has taught me a lot. And I feel like if you are a trail runner, it teaches you pretty fast too. Like you can't just force, force a climb. Like you can't just be like, hey, like I'm gonna run 20 miles and I just started running. Like, that's not how it works. Um, I mean, you can, people do it, but it's not not good for your body. Um, you can and you can't shortcut the fitness and you can't bully your body into adapting faster. So I will I know some people who have asked about fasted running. I am not a fan, so there's a lot of science behind it. Um, a lot, a lot of science. Um, but that's what when I think about bullying your body, that's what I mean. Like people who are either like trying to eat less and run more, which then impacts performance. Um, people who are trying to lift like five or six days a week and not focused on their performance, but they are focused on like that outcome of losing weight or running faster or all of these things. But as you bully your body, it's not gonna help you actually. Like it does the opposite. So it is important to focus on the process. So how can you focus on the process, right? Because it it's it's more of a mental thing, but there are things you can do. Um, I've given these tips for other things too, but writing down the plan. Like, what is it you have? I, for my athletes as a coach, I typically make a week or two in advance. It really depends on my schedule, their schedule. I have some athletes like, hey, I've got like this coming up and I need to see what it what it could look like, or approximately what it could look like in a month. I don't like to do that because it can adjust, I can I can adjust it based on feedback, so like it might change a little bit. But there is always a weekly plan out there for them to see. If you are not coached, um, or if like you just don't write things down, have Have your calendar like updated, whether it's a digital one, whether it's in writing, um, whatever it looks like, but it does need to be specific. And I'm not gonna go into these SMART goals. We've heard about SMART goals, and if any of you have been in corporate at all, definitely have heard a way too much about SMART goals, but it is being specific about it. And you can a lot of times, like how I started out doing this too, when I found myself like falling off, like especially in my like late 20s, um, I would take just the calendar and I was very, very specific. Like, I'm waking up at this time, I'm going to the gym at this time. Um, at the time I wasn't a runner, so like, you know, but then I would have like, well, here's my here's my work day. Um, I'm working, you know, we'll just say eight to five. I don't think I ever worked eight to five. It was always like seven to three. But either way, like you'd have your here work schedule, you'd block it off if you had to pick up kids from school, um, if you had like a family dinner every Friday, you know, whatever that is, you fill in what it is you have to do. So the I call them like the must-do's, have to do's, whatever you want to call them, which typically for a lot of people is like work, you know, kiddo pickup, uh, doctor's appointments, like those types of things. And then from there it's like, okay, you know, when can I do my run? A lot of people, it's in the morning because in the morning you don't have decision fee, feed fatigue. Geez, decision fatigue. You just get up and you get moving. So there's not this huge thought around it. Um, and it's there in your calendar. It doesn't have to be running. It could be reading, it could be stretching, it could be yoga, it could be biking. Whatever it is that you are trying to do, a lot of times it's best to do it in the morning before the rest of the day has hit you. First of all, again, I mentioned that decision fig. You start making decisions throughout your day and your willpower is drained. Like that's just how it is. So a lot of times by the end of your workday, you are feeling some kind of way. Not everybody. Um, I had somebody in Trailblaze her who was amazing. Hi, Amanda. Um, she uh gave herself permission to run at night because she that's when she's like awake, you know, that's when she feels her best. And she does it at night. So this is not me saying you have to do it in the morning. It's just a lot of people with the capacity they have in their life and how their brains work and how they're wired, mornings work better when it comes to like running or doing something new because then there's not an excuse later in the day. I swear I have pushed a run a couple times to like after work, and almost every single time it doesn't happen because something comes up with work or with whatever. So just finding the best time of day for you to do whatever this new like habit, this new goal, whatever it is, whatever that process you need to get to whatever New Year's resolution you set or whatever outcome goal you set, you need to focus on that to figure out where it needs to go, right? You have to be realistic. There may every time I've met with a new athlete, I'm just like, what day are you absolutely not going to work out? Or do you have a day that you will absolutely not do that? Because maybe it's a family day, maybe it's just just a day they know they're not going to because of work or whatever. So it's being very, very realistic about how your life is set up. I mean, it's also asking, I think I mentioned like before, a lot of times people don't keep their um resolutions because of lack of support. Um, or even worse, like I guess we'll call it negative support, those cynical people who are trying to bring you down, who yuck your yums. Um, and those are people either, I mean, sometimes you can't get away from it, unfortunately. They're a big part of your life, but you do have to learn to ignore it. And I don't have any big tips on how to ignore it. I've been pretty stubborn with certain things, and I'm just like, there are some days where it gets to me, but it doesn't last for long because normally it actually fuels me. I'm like, this motherfucker doesn't think I can do it. Or they're insecure about their selves, and that's why they're saying that. And guess what? I'm gonna do it just. I mean I'm gonna do it for me because I want to do it for me, but I'm gonna do it just because you pissed me off. So maybe I use that fuel for a little bit. A lot of times we have to use different things to get us going, right? I hate the word motivation, I know, but there are times where I do yet let a feeling like get me going because I need that sometimes. So don't ignore the feelings that you're having there. If somebody pisses you off, if somebody brings you down, whatever, like figure out what you need to do for you. Um and don't always rely on somebody else for support too. Like, I have several supportive people in my life that I have met, especially over the past couple of years. And like, so there are times, right? As I'm feeling down and I am open with like some of these people, I'm just like, man, this is going on. And like I just, you know, I need encouragement. I don't necessarily like I need encouragement, they just know me well enough to know like it's really bothering me. And um, by the way, it's good to have those people. But guess what? They're not always gonna be available in each and every moment. So you do have to learn to do some things like on your own. And that's part of my trail running coaching too, is like, yes, I'm programming women, like their calendars, what how to run, what to do, all of these things. But my brain is also like hoping that what I'm doing and what I'm explaining to them is helping them build confidence and do these things. So if something goes wrong, like during a race, or even something goes wrong in life, they have the tools they need to be able to push themselves through that, to be able to support themselves. Do I believe people should support themselves 100% of the time? I do not. Like, I like to think I can, but I've had to lean on people many times for help. Um, and this goes for ultrarrunning and life, right? Both are hard. So you do need your people, but you don't need the people who don't support you. Those negative support people are some of the worst people to um be around a lot of the time. So, you know, you've got to find a way to work through that again. You can use that, you can feel the feels to like fuel you sometimes, and sometimes it's just ignoring it. And maybe you need to have a conversation, especially if it's somebody who is a like big person in your life and that's just how they are. So, pro tip right there. So you've built out like this calendar, you've built out like this plan to see how it works. Um, you know, you're working through these negative support people you have your support group too, but you're also working on like yourself how to support yourself when things get challenging and you don't have somebody to talk to, which is something I think everybody should do, like I mentioned. Um, but also what we focus on, which is something I mentioned too, is making small changes. Um, I would say one of the first habit books I read, I don't think it was the first one, but I can't remember the one before that. But Atomic Habits was the first one I read by James Clear. Um, and it is still, in my opinion, one of the best habit books that I've read, and I've read several. The power of habit is also good. But like it talks about making um small changes. So you can call those small mini goals, small process goals, whatever you want to call that. But if you make these huge like changes, say for example, and we're just gonna go back to weight loss. The reason I bring up weight loss so much, first of all, is I want you to know it's okay to want to lose weight. Um, it is okay. Some people like, love your body. I do agree with loving your body. You can love yourself and still want to lose weight. So just so you know, it's also just an easy example to use because I feel like a lot of us have women of, as women have been there where we've wanted to lose the weight. So using that as an example, um, what people will do is they will completely overhaul their diet and decide it's all or nothing. So they have to be perfect, so they can never have a potato chip or a French fry or ice cream or a cookie. And then they will also start working out too much. So they've been working, say they've been like walking a couple days a week and they decide to switch to running five days a week and lifting weights, you know, three to five times a week. So they've overhauled their diet completely with perfection. And now they're pushing their bodies um so hard that they're probably feeling some extra soreness too. At the same time, in the very beginning, when people do that, they start seeing results. They start seeing that weight come off very quickly, right? That's I'm not saying everybody has this experience, but a lot of times weight's gonna come off in the beginning when you make a huge change like that. But guess what? It does slow down. First of all, if you are trying to be more active, your body needs the right fuel for you. So if you are perfect with your diet, but yet, or when I say perfect, I mean it's it's your version of perfect. So you're eating like fruits, veggies, you know, proteins, lean proteins, all that stuff, but you're not actually fueling yourself for the performance that you're doing, whether it's, you know, running three days a week, five days a week, and lifting weights, your body doesn't like that, and you're not gonna be able to keep up on that schedule. Um, you're gonna get tired, you are going to stop losing weight. Um, or if you go to the excessive, by the way, this is not like if it is like you could continue to lose weight in a very unhealthy way, and that is bad on other parts of your body. So you might be looking better, but there's things happening that aren't making you feel better. Uh, so like, but all of these things, so but normally what happens is they start the the the weight loss slows down or they start to feel sluggish. And instead of re-evaluating and figuring out, like, this is oh my gosh, this is what is um happening. Like, hold on, let me see what I'm doing. Like, I need to back off, I need to give myself some grace, I need to eat that cookie that I want to eat. I want to eat a couple of French fries here. Um, actually, I need to eat more. Maybe I shouldn't be working out as much. That's not where our mind goes. Our mind goes that all or nothing mindset. I'm not saying every single person is there, every single person has been there, I've been there, but that's that perfectionist piece. So if I can't do it this way, all right, I'm just totally gonna fall apart. And that's where a New Year's resolution falls apart, right? You stop getting the results you want, you're not feeling great, and instead of reevaluating what you're doing for the for the what with the process that you're doing to get to your outcome, you just kind of shove it aside. And then next year, maybe you make a similar New Year's resolution, right? Or you make that uh res I mean you don't make a resolution, but you make a goal a little bit later in the year, you do the exact same thing, expect a different outcome. Outcomes the same, you quit, and there's a cycle, right? So how do we make these small changes? Well, it depends on your background, your experience, who you are, your I mean, it depends on finances, right? It depends on so many things. But again, this is just the weight loss commercial commercial. Oh, this is the weight loss example, um, because it's just an easy one for me to talk through. Um, just a good analogy with that. So if, you know, you're like, if you say, for example, last year, you know, you walked. You didn't run, you you are a walker. Totally fine, by the way. Walking is underestimated. Everybody should walk, it is very good for us. But for New Year's, you'd have made a goal that you want to run a half marathon. We're gonna say in like October, just making up a month here. Um, and on top of that, you also want to lose those 20 pounds. So that's two goals, which is totally fine. And a lot of times people will will um uh pair up like a weight loss goal uh with like a a race goal or or or something like that. I hear a lot of those at the beginning of the year. Um, so your goal is to do those two things, right? So instead of just jumping in and being like, I'm gonna run five days a week and I'm gonna lift this many days a week, and I'm gonna eat healthier and less, your body's not gonna like that, first of all. First of all, you're moving more. So your body, and maybe, maybe you were already overeating too, right? Some of us have fallen into that. I know I have before. But like, so you're like, you know what, like I am fueling enough to like run way more than I should. So you do want to back off, but you don't want to be in, you don't want to do that whole 1200 calorie diet thing. That stuff's bullshit, by the way. Do not go down 1200 calories, by the way. There's an influencer online right now who is below a thousand calories and she's pushing that. So just don't don't go below a certain threshold there. Um so so 1200 calories, bad in conclusion there. But what you do is you start looking at your week and you're like, okay, I am going to meal prep for the week. Um, and it can be like the lean proteins, it can be broccoli, you know, it can be rice, sweet potato, whatever it is that you like to eat, make stuff that you like to eat. And that might sound simple, but I know people who are like, well, I went in this and found this meal plan and I used it, and I don't like half the food I eat, so I always dread eating. You don't want to dread eating. Like you don't want to not, I don't want to say not be excited. I like to eat, so I get excited about it, but like you don't want to be making stuff that doesn't make you happy either. Like food is fuel, but food, food is also pleasure, right? Food, there are good things about food outside of fueling yourself. So making sure you have food that you like throughout the week, making sure either you have a meal, some people call it cheap meal, but but a meal that's not completely like strict, making sure it's like, hey, I had a cookie, who fucking cares? Having those things are very important to be able to actually stick to what you're doing to hit your goal. Again, we want to focus on the process though. If you do so many good things and you lose 14 pounds instead of 20 pounds and you ran a half marathon, you won. You won. And that's what you need to remember with this. You did the process, you did these things, you should be proud of yourself. And you won that. Like you did that for you. And how that works is like doing those small changes. So again, it would be instead of running, I didn't mention this either, but instead of running like five days a week, it's probably best to start at two or three days a week for like 15 to 30 minutes. And it could be jog walk, depending on who you are. Like the reason I don't give specifics here is because if you are like a former athlete, I have never stopped moving in some could, but I haven't always been a runner. I was able to jump into running a little bit like more, but because I had an athletic background and I'd always been moving, I've been lifting weights for years, right? So you could have that where you don't have to do like 15 minutes. You might be able to do 30 minutes and be fine. You might be able to do 45 minutes, like a little bit quicker than others. But if you come from like, say, like no, no weightlifting and only walking, it's best to probably do, you know, two or three days a week, 15 to 30 minutes, walk run for a couple weeks. And a lot of times I say do that for a couple weeks to get into the habit. If you are going to be working out in the morning, so say you are going to run in the morning and you are running for 15 to 30 minutes for two weeks and you have found the day that works, that helps form that habit, right? So a small change and that shift can help you form that habit to be that morning runner if that's what you want to do. Um, it also means lifting. Like I would say two days a week. Uh, I know some people who started with one day a week because the gym was so intimidating. Um, and that was just for their anxiety, that's what they needed, and that's fine. It's a starting point, right? You want to start out with small goals because when you do those small process goals, it helps grow. And then you can grow and grow and grow and get more. Because as you are training, right, those running days can go to four days a week, five days a week, and those runs get longer. That weight lifting, right? You learn form, you do all these things, and then you go to two days and three days a week, maybe. And then like you start lifting heavier. So all of these small changes allow, first of all, your body physically to adapt to what's happening. So you won't hopefully won't get injured. I cannot promise, you know, you won't get hurt. But like doing these right things for you in small increments means your body's gonna be able to do this and it's gonna be sustainable. The same goes for the mental, psychological, emotional side of things too, right? Your brain does that fight, flight, or freeze thing. So if you put too much on it, it's not gonna want to do what you want it to do. So you've got to keep that in mind. That's why small changes are important. Um so small changes, yay, atomic habits. Uh, read the book if you want to. Uh ask me questions about that. But that's my little spiel on like making small changes. And again, focusing. That's focusing on the process instead of the outcome, right? Because we can't always control that outcome. All right. Now, got a little bit more. I always do, don't I? But let's talk about like FOMO too, versus like goals that align with what you value or what you want to do in your life or a change that you want to make. Um, so FOMO goals are just like signing up for a trail race because everyone else is doing them, right? Your friend said, let's do it. Trust me, I have plenty of friends who try to get me into races. I'm very good at saying no. I'm pretty sure they want me to say yes quite a bit, but I I have my own goals and I have my own races that I want. So, but signing up for a race at a FOMO means your why is based on somebody else. To sign up for a big race, especially when you get into those longer distances or a new distance for you. Um, it's better to have a why behind why you're doing this race, right? Like, why do you want to do it? Is it because it's in a different state and it's beautiful and like you've always wanted to go here? You know, is it, you know what, this is gonna be a harder race, and I want to be able to push myself physically and mentally in a way I've never done it before. Like, what is that why? Is it, you know, I like the whys to be more positive, but is it because some your ex told you you would never be able to fucking do this, and you know what, you're gonna fucking do this? You know what? That could be your why for that moment. Hopefully things get happier for you as you start running and you feel happy about what you're doing for yourself, but I don't mind that being a starting point. Um that this along with the signing up for the races for FOMO, like it's also chasing distances you're not actually excited about. Um, I have had many adhes be like, you know, maybe they've done a 50K or 100k or a half marathon, whatever it is, and they're like, oh, and they'll like, uh, like, okay, like I guess the next step's 100k, or I guess the next step's a hundred mile, or I guess the next step's a marathon, you know, whatever that is. Um you don't have to chase a distance like that. I have a friend, uh Courtney, who she's like, 50K is my distance. That's as far as I'm going. She's like, the training to do anything more takes too much time. Um, the day, like, will be totally gone if I run more than a 50K. Like, that's just how it is. And she knows this about herself. So she doesn't chase a distance that she's not excited about. So you've got to be excited about it. And that rolls up into your why and it rolls up into what keeps you moving. If you are excited, if you are stoked, you are more than likely to stick with what you signed up for. All right, so that goal. Um, and then saying yes to things because it feels like you should. So part of that is that distance, it's kind of the distance thing I just mentioned about you feel like you should. Like, well, I've run a 50K, I should do a 100K or I should do a 50 mile or whatever your next step is, right? Um, oh man, my friend who I started running with is at this, is doing this now, and I should do this too, right? Don't should yourself. That's all there is to it. There is no should when it comes, especially as adults, right? We are adults, we get to make our decision. There is no should. It is like, I want to do this. Like, you know, I I would really enjoy like going to Utah and running this one race. I would really enjoy like going um into the Alps, you know. I'm going to the Alps next July, or actually this July because it's 2026, but like doing those things because you want to do them, not because you should. So here's how you check it, right? If you're not fired up about it, uh, especially the work, the goal is gonna feel heavy real quick. So you gotta be fired up about that, that goal because you don't want it to be heavy. Um also, but if you're not fired up about the actual work you're gonna do, that can be very difficult too. Um, because then it's it's drudgery, right? You're like, oh, is it dredgery? Is it drudgery? If anybody wants to uh DM me and tell me which word I should use there, um, I'd be grateful. Um, but you've got to have, first of all, if you're setting a goal, have fire for it. It's gotta be exciting. But also you've got to get fired up about that work too. And maybe that's reminding yourself what the goal is. The goal is not the focus, that outcome goal, outcome goal. The outcome is not um really like shouldn't be the focus the whole time. But if sometimes the work feels too hard or you're feeling some kind of way, think about why you set that outcome goal. And like an outcome, like I said, in my opinion, it's more important to be like, I want to run a 50K in like sub eight hours. Maybe that's your goal, right? That's your goal based on you. You could you should not be setting an outcome goal, and I realize I didn't say this, but like an outcome based on other people. You should not say, I want to finish in the top three at the next 50k. Now, why shouldn't you say that? It's what I mentioned earlier. You can't control who shows up at the start line. Um, maybe you have some stomach issues, you know, whatever it happens to be, you need to focus exclusively on you. This is where you should be selfish. My run is my run. My race is my race, and that's all there is to it. So you need to focus on that. Um, my athlete Renee, in in October, she ran um the Jackass31K. She had set a goal um of sub four hours, and that was her goal. And yes, she did say, I think, man, Renee's gonna kill me if I can't remember this. Maybe not kill me, but like in a top, and in the top, and a certain top, uh, I want to say top three in her um in her division. And then I went, I thought it was like top like 15%. Maybe that's how she feels. Was top 50 spread overall. But either way, the whole point of this, her goal was sub four hours, period. Like, yes, the goal was was I hope that sub four hours gets me into like the top three in my division, right? But the goal for her was the sub four hours, right? So it's okay to be like, you know what, like I want to hit sub four, and hopefully, like it gets me in a top three spot. But if your goal is like, I want a top three spot, and that's it, you need more than that. You need to say, like, this is the goal for me. So just keep that in mind when you think about when you're setting that goal. I should have mentioned that earlier and I did not. But also, so let's go back to like if you're not fried about that goal, how it feels heavy pretty quick. Um, it doesn't mean that goal is wrong. It doesn't mean maybe it's wrong for now, but it doesn't mean it's wrong forever. So um when you think about it, like you gotta be like, I set this goal. Maybe it's the wrong time, you know? Maybe like you're switching over jobs, maybe you got a promotion. Um, maybe you're stepping back from work a little bit because of some reason. So you're making less money, and financially it's very hard to invest in yourself like that. All right, y'all. I just about died coughing there. Um, I hope I cut all that out. I tried to edit it actually right away because I couldn't stop coughing. So I figured that was a good thing to do with my time, but uh, whoops. Um, so my allergies have been crazy since we got this rain here over the past couple months in Phoenix, but I'm not mad about it. So anyway, I think we're talking about goals, like it might just be the wrong time. Um, and sometimes it's not even the wrong time. It's trying to figure out what works for you, right? But like we want to make sure the goals are aligned with you and not due to like FOMO um and just other people what they're doing, right? It should be the focus of your goals, should always be for you. All right, I don't know what's going on. I just had another coughing fit here. So I know you guys don't have to hear about it because I edit it out, but uh man, it makes me lose my train of thought and oxygen, lose my brain. So when it comes to these goals, whether you have to adjust them, whether they're gone for now and you keep them in your back pocket, this doesn't mean you're quitting. This doesn't mean you failed, it means you're listening, right? You're being realistic. That's the whole point, right? Those that's part of like the smart goal, right? Is realistic. Is it realistic? And that is probably one of the first things you should ask yourself when you're doing something. And again, sometimes in the moment, it may be realistic, but something happens, right? Anything can happen, right? Like you could get pregnant, right? That happens, and that can adjust how things look for you and for your life for the next several months, like next couple years, like it's a big thing. You again, changing jobs, whatever it is, but you have to be realistic. And just because you make an adjustment doesn't mean you failed or you're quitting. You're like you're being real about what you need for you, and that's so freaking important. So, because if you're making it real for you, it does make it easier to continue going and going towards that outcome you set for yourself, right? Okay. So this is where uh we won't call it my soapbox, but like being encouraging costs you nothing. So, like, we are transitioning now from like process goals versus outcome goals, um, like how to do it, that tactical piece of like setting up like a calendar, even or a plan or whatever you need, um, being realistic about yourself and going to like this is for everybody too, but either way, but like encourage uh being encouraging of others who have set these New Year's resolutions or who have set a goal for themselves. And again, it's not just New Year's, it's anything. Being encouraging really does cost you absolutely zero pennies, just so you know, zero, zero things. Um, so why? Well, first of all, because you shouldn't be an asshole, period. I mean, that should be where I end this, but you know I'm gonna give you more than that. You don't know somebody's backstory. Like, you don't know what somebody's been through. You don't know if there's been injury, you don't know their mental health struggles, you do not know emotionally what they have been through. You do not know someone's backstory. You may even have a friend rethink you know their backstory, and you don't know the whole story. You don't know what's going on right up there. You just don't. So maybe they've fought through a lot to even get to the gym or step outside in running shoes or go to the store and buy clothes so they can work out. Whatever that is, you don't know someone's backstory. Um, and you being discouraging can trigger them in some way, right? And you can be like, oh, that's on them. They need to like figure things out. I agree, people need to go to therapy and things like that. I have been, but you don't need to be part of the reason that they are not stoked about something anymore. Don't be an asshole. You don't know how long somebody's been thinking about this. Um, I know as women, we tend to hold our goals back. Um, we've gotta do this, we've gotta, we've gotta be ten times better than a man anyway, but then we've also gotta be like, okay, like I have caregiving responsibilities, I have to keep the house clean, I have to pay the bills, I have to do all these things. Men, if you're listening, I'm not saying none of you do that, and I hate that I have to freaking do say these things, but like, not saying none of you do this, but so much research shows how much work women actually do outside of their job, too. So there is research out there. Do your own, but like this is just being, we'll call it more general so you can hear it. But women, if you're listening, you know I'm talking about. So, but you don't know how long they've been thinking about this. This whether with this goal, the process, all of that. It could be they've put it on the back burner for so long because they needed to do steps one, two, three, four, five before they could like allow themselves to even want this, right? So this could have been a long thought, and then you comment and shit on them. Like, don't do that. Encourage them. Um, you don't know how big it was for this person to even like say it out loud. Um, to be like, I'm going to run a 50k. I'm going to um lose 20 pounds in six to eight months. Um, I am going to um take swimming lessons as an adult and learn how to swim. I am going to uh start reading two books a month. You're like, is that a big goal, really? Yeah, it can be. It is very hard when things get busy, as you guys know to adults, to make time for a new habit or even like do more with like a habit you've already had. So to say somebody's been running like 10Ks for so long because they knew they didn't have time to train for something longer. Um so like they finally came out and said, you know what, I want I've wanted this for years. I've wanted this big thing, and this is what I'm gonna do. And you don't get to decide if it's a big thing, they decide if it's a big thing for them. So encourage them. Encourage them. So if someone shares a goal with you, shares a resolution, shares whatever it is with you. It's not your job to predict their failure, to flex your experience. This is not about you stop centering yourself when somebody comes to you. It's a very big thing. There's a very big difference between being relatable and being like, oh my gosh, like if somebody says, hey, I'm gonna run like my first half marathon, oh my gosh, just be like, yeah, like that's so cool. Like when I remember signing up for my first half marathon, it was exciting. How was you like, how do you feel? That's okay to do, just so you know. That's not flexing your experience. You're being relatable, saying, I've been there, and it makes it can make that that like uh dialogue open up a little bit more knowing somebody's been there. What I mean is the one who just starts talking and talking and talking like I'm doing right now, but about how they've done it and what they've done, and it centers, it centers on them. I am very big, if any of my athletes tell you this, I'm very big on having that relatability and having conversations about, yeah, like I've been there, or yeah, that makes sense, or that that's okay again. It's being like, oh, well, yeah, like if somebody tells me they went 100 miles, they want to do a hundred miler and I start talking about my DNF at Mogue and start going through it, like that is like too much. Um if somebody comes to you, and granted, this is my coaching cap. So whether you're a coach or not, but if somebody's like says, like, you know, I want to run by my, I'm gonna run this hundred miler in October. I don't know why I keep using it October. It's probably because it's a nicer month here, but like I'm gonna run um this race in uh October and this this hundred miler, and you're like, oh man, that's awesome. They're like, man, that's a great commitment. Like, man, like I man, I've ran my first hundred miler and I didn't realize how much time it took, but it was totally worth it. That's something you can say to somebody. Going into details about your experience, it's not. Why am I repeating this over and over? Because I have had so many conversations with people where I it really the conversation is about like what I want to do, what my goal is, and somebody like talks over me and starts talking at me, and then I don't even want to have a conversation anymore because it's become about them. So, do I think the world centers around me? No. But do I think all of us deserve time where we are heard, listened to, and people are there for you? Yes. Okay, so don't flex your experience. That is not your job. And this is what people say. This is a generalization of what people say, but like this is there are different variations, but this is exactly how it sounds. It's not your job to say, we'll see how long that lasts. That's yuckin' the yums right there. We'll see how long that lasts. Um, so let me tell you, there are some like nuances. This, for example, if you know somebody, if you've known somebody for a long time, could be married to them, could be friends for life, could be a sibling, whatever it is, but some of you've known for years and years, and they continuously set these goals that like they never do, right? They they never act upon them. They do it for a week, right? But it's still not your job. I say nuanced, this is still not your job to see, we'll see how long this, to say we'll see how long this lasts. Remember how I mentioned earlier, like a lot of people don't see these resolutions come to fruition because, well, part of it is like they set the goal too big or they can't focus on the process, but the other one is lack of support. Think about like how supportive have you ever been to this person, really. If it's a person you've supported for 20 years and they've never acted on something, it's very different. But like saying we'll see how long that lasts, who does that benefit? Period. Nobody. It doesn't benefit you. Maybe it makes you feel a little smug, but that makes you an asshole. And what did I say at the first part of this? Don't be an asshole. So, what is it your job to say? That's awesome! I'm rooting for you. How can I support you? Holy shit, is that that hard? Right? It's not to roll your eyes, it's to be encouraging, right? Like, and you may not be able to support them because like they tell you something that you have no clue on, right? Maybe they want to start ice skating. I don't know what it is, but like, whoa, maybe, you know, what can I do for you? Like, what does that look like? Tell me more is a great one if you're really not, especially if somebody tells you a goal that like super surprised you. Um, because that can happen, and there's nothing wrong with being surprised by that. You're just like, hey, tell me more about that. That sounds cool. Like, that is what it is. That's what it's about. It's being supportive, it's being positive, it's not being cynical, it's not being an asshole. So that goes for running, that goes for life, and that goes for literally everything. So here's what I want you to hear as we head into this new year, this 2026, which hopefully is a lot better than last year in terms of certain things. You are allowed to want something more, you are allowed to start on January 1st, you are allowed to change your mind, you are allowed to go slow, you should go slow, and you are allowed to care deeply without having it all figured out. And you don't need permission from the internet, your coworker, or the most jaded runner in the group chat. Focus on the process, stack the boring wins, respect the work. And if you see someone else doing the same, don't yuck their yum, don't be a dickhead, be encouraging. We all do better when we feel supported. Now, if this episode hit home, share with a friend who's fired up about a goal for next year or this year. I keep saying next year, gosh, it's 2026. I haven't had to write it down yet, maybe that's why it doesn't stick. Or just share with someone who could use a little reminder to be a little less shitty, you know. Give them give them a little bit of passive aggressive right there. You know, hey, listen to this buddy, you're an asshole. Uh, but you know, also make sure you're following or subscribed or whatever it is. If you're listening, please like leave a rating or review. Um, it does help reach more and more people that way. And it's nice to really read those nice reviews too. It makes me feel real big in my heart. But until next time, uh go move your body, drink some water, stretch your calves, and if you're running while listening, loosen your shoulders. You're welcome. Good effort, positive attitude.