Episode 40: There’s more than one win: Celebrating all the things

You trained for it. You showed up. And somehow…you’re still telling yourself it wasn’t enough.

In this episode, I’m talking about something I see all the time—runners finishing races (or not) and immediately going to what went wrong. Missing the point entirely. Yes, goals matter. Finish lines matter. But if that’s the only thing you’re celebrating, you’re ignoring everything that actually made you the runner who got there.

This one goes beyond race day. We’re getting into the invisible work, the real wins during a race, boundaries, and why this hits differently for women who are juggling way more than just training.

Also…by the time you’re listening to this, I’m somewhere out on the Cocodona 250 course doing exactly what I’m talking about in this episode.

In this episode:

•  Why feeling disappointed is normal—but living there isn’t helping you 
•  The “invisible work” you’re not giving yourself credit for 
•  What to actually celebrate during a race (it’s not just the finish) 
•  Why women showing up to start lines is a bigger deal than we talk about 
•  How boundaries in training and life are part of the win 
•  Solo runs vs. running with others—and why both matter 
•  Reframing DNFs and missed goals without throwing everything away 
•  Why tying your worth to outcomes will burn you out 

Cocodona Live Tracking and Live Stream

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Cocodona Live Tracking and Live Stream

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey y'all, welcome back to Dirtnap Diaries. I'm your host, Brittany Illson, Trailrunner, Women's Trailrunning Coach, Hypewoman, and Professional Overpacker of the Mid Run Snacks. This show is for the everyday trailrunner, the ones training on real life legs and real life time. You've got work, relationships, laundry, pets, a group text that never shuts up, and maybe a big goal sitting quietly in the back of your mind that you're not totally sure you're allowed to want. You're not out here chasing podium spots, you're chasing finish lines, sunrises, and maybe a little sanity. This podcast is about trail running, but it's also about navigating life. The hard seasons, the joyful ones, and the ones where everything feels like too much. So let's get into it. Alright, personal update. I mean, really, it's been all things Coca Donna this week. Uh packing, repacking a couple of things, uh, making sure the apartment is not just a mess so we can come back to uh some cleanliness, getting laundry done. You know, all the things you do before you go on a week-long vacation. Uh, my weeklong is just gonna be running 253 miles. So uh pretty excited. I have not reached my um anxiety mode yet, which is pretty good for me that it hasn't hit yet, especially for this big thing. I've been fairly calm. I'm starting to feel some kind of way this morning. Um, it is 9 o'clock Sunday morning, so one more sleep, yay, until a Coca-Dona starts. So less than 24 hours though. So uh feeling good. I know I will get more and more nervous as we get closer. I will probably not sleep much tonight, even though I will try. Uh race time 5 a.m., by the way, so you can uh live track that and all that. I will actually put that in my show notes too, if any of you are interested. They do a uh live stream too for the entire race, so it's really, really cool to watch that. Um, and I can't be addicting, I've been told. So outside of that though, like I'm actually recording uh early in the morning on a Sunday for me because sometimes it's Tuesday by the time I can get to this, but can't be recording Tuesday because I will be running. So by the time y'all listen to this episode, uh, I will be over 24 hours at least into the race if you listen on the day that I put to put it out. So um, yeah, it's kind of cool to think about. Um, so anyway, we are going to get into it. This episode is about celebrating all the things in running, not just PRs, not just the win if you hit a podium. Um, what I've been seeing a lot of is people finishing races and they're immediately going to what they didn't do right. People did deing effing act like the entire experience was a waste, so training and everything. And posts that just spiral into I suck, I failed, that wasn't good enough. So even if they're finishing in this race, even if they got a PR sometimes, I am still seeing like, well, I didn't hit this specific time, I didn't hit this specific um outcome. So I do want to start with saying, you're allowed to be disappointed. Like, that is not what I'm saying here. We work hard, we do long distances, like disappointment is okay to feel. That is what it is. You train for something, you had this goal, this thought, this vision, and it didn't go how you want it. And that's super real. We are human, we're gonna feel something. But there's a difference between feeling that, feeling those feels there, and living in it. And what I'm seeing more and more is people choosing to stay there. Um, they're replaying it, they're posting, they're looking for validation instead of actually asking, what did I really do here? What did I actually do here? Because if the only thing you're doing is measuring that finish time or whether you finished it all, you're missing just about everything else. Um, and that's what we're gonna talk about in this episode is not missing those things. Um, but also like why people can get in that that rabbit hole too. Um, some people I know like strongly, you know, they believe like they have failed and like if they don't do this certain goal, like that's it. It's it's a failure. Other people I do think when I've seen it, um, especially on social media, there's some intention-seeking behavior too. So I say like looking for validation, um, sometimes there's some attention-seeking behavior with that. So either way, it sucks though to be living in that instead of just feeling the feel that you're having and then moving from there, whether you take learning opportunities from it or whatever it is you do with it, but you it's okay to feel, but don't live in it. Um, so we're gonna expand on what winning actually is because finish lines do matter, goals matter. We're not gonna pretend like they don't. Um, but if that's the only place you're looking for that win, you're you're only focused on the outcome, which is something that we can't control. Um, we work our asses off and may still not have the outcome we want, but we can control the process, which is the work that we're doing, the effort we're putting in, the attitude that we have, the reactions to things, what we choose to do every day. Do we skip that hour? Do we happy hour? Do we go out to dinner with friends? Whatever that looks like, we control those pieces of the process, but not the outcome that happens. We have elite runners out here who have finished amazing races and they still DNF, right? So, like, we can't always focus on that outcome. So, what what you're doing is you're setting yourself up to constantly feel like you're falling short. Unless you actually hit that goal exactly as you wanted or do better. So, we're first gonna talk about the invisible work that's out there. Um, so this isn't race day. This is those random Tuesdays when you didn't want to go out and run. This is the early mornings when your alarm went off and you questioned your life choices. If you're an evening runner, this is where you worked a hard day, picked up the kids from school, walked the dog, picked up Cat Puke, and then still had to go for a run that evening. It's the days you chose to run instead of scrolling or numbing out. It's the times you didn't skip because it would have been easier. It's the times you said no to a happy hour because you had a long run the next day. It's a time you said yes to a happy hour because you just wanted to hang out with some people and talk with them. All of those things are the work that happens before race day. Um, there is way more we're doing, right? I mean, we are maybe taking a PTO day so we can get a long run on Friday to get on course, or we're flying somewhere, whatever that is, but there is so much work that goes into this that's not about the race day. Um, and that's the stuff that builds you into someone who can even stand at that start line. And all of those things are worth celebrating. The race is not where you become that person, it's where you show up from what you've already been doing. So I'm gonna go a little bit deeper here, not just with it's there's invisible work in this one too, but I want to talk about women here specifically um for a few minutes. There are still not enough women at Startlines. Um, I don't even know what the percentage is now. I haven't looked in just a bit, but there are way less women than men at Startlines, and we won't even get into today like how much like the non-white people are not represented in many startlines. So whole nother episode there, but this is just women in general, just so you know I'm being that's why I'm saying this so you specifically get what I'm talking about. And it's we're we're we're less, we're we're there less, not because we're less capable, that's for damn sure. I mean, I where there are women out there who are running and breastfeeding and are postpartum, and that's not the only like amazing women out there, but that's some examples I've been seeing lately of women who are doing these things, um, which shows that we are just way more badass. But why is it that we don't get we don't train for these things, or why are there less, or why is it harder for us to get there, or why do we see the same men running more races than women? It's because we're carrying more at home. We're managing schedules that aren't just ours. We're thinking about everyone else before ourselves. We're navigating safety, time, energy, all of it. We do a lot of that invisible labor in the background, the unpaid labor. Um, we do we carry a lot of the household responsibilities while also working. Now, men, whoever listening here, don't get don't get up in an uproar. Like, I get it, you guys do some of that stuff too. But women in general have those roles more and have more on their plate. Period. You you can argue with me all you want, but that is a fact. So when a woman shows up at a start line, that didn't just happen. She really, really made that happen. She stepped up, she had to do a lot of things, she had to set a lot of boundaries there to get her time in and not feel bad, and many times there are still some guilt for us whenever we make that space for ourselves. They had to negotiate time, energy, and all of that to get to the the pro to be in the process, to be lifting and running and doing all the things. Uh, we have to constantly think about our safety out there. I find the trails much safer than um the roads because, well, people there's more people on the roads and cars on the roads too. But for the trail, I mean there's rattlesnakes too, but like I do feel safer out there, but I still have to think about it. I'm still checking my car before I get in at a trailhead. You know, I am still locking my doors uh right when I get into my car. Those things. So we're still doing that. We are normally, whether it comes to having kids or not having kids, having pets, not having pets, we're responsible for the vet visits for those pets. We're responsible for uh making sure a kid gets their dentist appointment, all the things. So that gives you a little bit of what women do in our lives, but that's also why you don't see as many of them at races, because we have to be able to set those boundaries, but we also have to have support. So we're doing this though, like I said, through negotiating time and energy, asking for help, which a lot of us do struggle with because we are so used to handling all the things all the time uh for our partners, for work, for whomever it happens to be, or whatever company it has to be, we struggle with asking for help. And sometimes it's even harder when we ask for help and we don't get the support we need. I've got the yeses before and I've asked for support, and it's not really a yes, I'm not getting support I need, and it sucks. Or honestly, just doing it anyway and figuring the rest out later. Sometimes we don't even know we're setting a boundary, sometimes we don't even know what we're doing. We're just trying to make that space for ourselves. So we have to work harder than men to get to that start line typically. And I am not gonna back down from that, y'all. Argue with me all you want, but we do. We have so many other things going on outside of that training block that we have to get in and we have to do just to be able to get to the start line. So, anybody who's listening to this, if you have a woman who is a runner in your life, please support them, please help them out. Um, let's, you know, we try to ask for help sometimes, but you can tell we need help. If you're not pulling your weight, help out. Training for a race is a big deal. So, for women who are showing up the start line, for women who are starting to set those boundaries, for women who are just starting running, you deserve more of a celebration than whether you hit your pace or your goal time or anything. Just getting there was so much work. Okay. I got a lot to say about that. I'm gonna have to have to do a whole episode on that, that part of it, but that gives you the gist of what goes in on my brain here. So, now, what are we celebrating during the race? Right? Like, we think about the finish um a lot of the time. We envision the finish, which I am a wholeheartedly uh a fan of. I envision my I've already envisaged my Coca-Dona finish, like I don't know how many times. But so I'm all for that, but there's other things going on out there, and you can still be present in the moment and enjoy those things. Um, so what are you doing out there that has nothing to do with time? I'm gonna let you know the longer distance you do, the more you're doing that has nothing to do with time. But even if you're if you're doing a 5K, that's amazing, and there's still things going on out there. So, but here's things like staying steady when you want to go out too fast, pulling yourself out of those mental spiral uh mid-race feelings. Sometimes it's not mid-race, sometimes it's beginning, sometimes wherever it's at, but having those, starting to have those mental uh spirals. Eating when you don't feel like eating, drinking when you don't feel like drinking, adjusting your plan instead of forcing it instead of panicking. Um, again, you can feel your feels. Stuff's gonna go wrong sometimes. Stuff's gonna go really right sometimes, things are gonna go better than you thought, but you need to adjust your plan to you and how it's going rather than forcing a lot of things. Like forcing things is where you lose a lot of that joy in running, but it's also where you can lead to injury, burnout, um, and not finishing that race if you're pushing through a point where you should just take a minute and chill. Um hiking when it's a smarter move, even if your ego doesn't like it in the moment. Uh choosing to keep moving when everything in you wants to drop. And taking a second look around and realizing where you're at. Um for the trails, especially. I don't know. I don't think I've ever taken a moment stopped and looked around on a road race. Um, but I can't say I've ran too many pretty road races, and I've seen some pictures of pretty road races, so I just haven't done those. But on the trails, it is so easy to get in your head and just be looking down at the rocks, um, especially as you get tired, and sometimes just remembering to uh look up and uh look around and see where you're at. Uh, I've done the first 36 half miles of the Cocodona course twice. It is rugged, it is hard, but it is absolutely gorgeous. Like eventually you can see Lake Pleasant, which is a little low or a lot low, but you can see just so much stuff out there, and you can also see like how much progress you have made from where you started. So take a second, look around, and be in the moment too. So, but there are so many other things to celebrate. I mean, if you've had like food go wrong in a race and it's going right, like that's a huge thing for me. I've had I've had throw up all that. Like, it's not fun. But being able to um have those good things that happen and realizing like they are good, they are wins in the moment, or even if it's a couple hours later when you're starting to go into a dark place, you're like, wait, I've done this, this, and this already. Having those moments is super, super important. You are managing yourself for hours sometimes, sometimes days. Like, that's the race. The finish is not the race. Doing all of those things throughout is huge, and it's not just how fast you get through it, right? Um, and remember, there's gonna be moments, there's gonna be moments where your stomach is off. Maybe you're nauseous, maybe your GI system's just really screwed up, your legs feel like shit, your brain is trying to convince you to quit, your shoulders start to ache from your pack. You are tired of eating gels, even though your stomach's not having any issues, you are just have this mouth fatigue. Um, you start to get a sore in your mouth. You can do that when you have so many. Uh, you're like, you start to feel little niggles throughout your body, and you don't know what's actually pain and what's just because you've been on your feet for so long, and this is like known, or not known, but unknown, yet expected. Um, all of these things, um, and what you do in those moments, that's the win. And let me explain that win just for a moment, too, because sometimes your stomach can be so off and you are puking and everything is going wrong, and you need to pull the plug. I'm not saying one puke or a reset puke needs to take you out, but I have DNF'd a race because like I was puking so bad, I was seeing double, and I had dark spots in front of my eyes, and I was like, I'm not a professional. I don't even know if professionals should should uh work through that, but I didn't have time to sleep, I didn't have time to do anything, I was gonna be cut off anyway. Um, and I did choose to pull the plug on that. Sometimes I still think about it, but I don't live in it, and I don't I don't like post on Instagram about it all the time, right? But for me, when I look back, who knows what my body could have gone through had I could have kept going with nothing in me. Some people's bodies might be able to handle that a little bit better, I don't know. But in those moments, sometimes the win is pulling the plug. And that's okay too. That's not a problem. Um, because you have to do what's right for you, and you can't always just look at the clock and be like, I want I'm gonna hit my goal or I'm not gonna hit my goal. It's more about what you are feeling and what's going on with you in that moment. So lots of things to celebrate during that race. I mean, I've got there are more and more things out there. Sometimes it's falling and getting back up and keeping moving. So again, it's like there are times whenever you realize when you're out there that you could actually you've been walking. It's easy to start death marching, especially on trail races, I feel like, and all of a sudden you start doing intervals, running for 20 seconds, backing off for a minute, running for 20 seconds, backing off for a minute, just so you know that is time saving, big time. But getting out of that death march and moving, that's a win. So many things. I have so many things I could say with the wins, but like I feel like you guys are just you're you're getting what I'm saying here. Everything out there can be a win. Now, we are gonna get into a little bit about boundaries um because those are very important when it comes to the training block, when it comes to race day. Um, myself as a coach, I'm actually coaching some runners who are out there next week, too. One's doing the 250, one's the 125, and one's Flagstaff across 40. Um so I've talked to them all this week and I've I've been in touch with them, and I've been in touch with them over the last few weeks, you know, just making sure they're race ready because as of today, like I am no longer a coach for a week. Um, I will, you know, I don't that doesn't go away. I'm gonna get texts from my athletes say they've been amazing and super, super supportive. But like I've had to be like, okay, I gotta shut it down because I have to focus on me. I have to get my podcast out, you know, I won't I'll be running on Tuesday. But I did have to set some boundaries and put them out there. Um, and also like, hey, here my phone's gonna go on airplane mode. Hey, I'm gonna do these things. So, like, but it still is hard because like I'm kind of trying to shut off my coaching brain enough so like I can focus on me in this race too. So luckily I have amazing athletes and it's never an issue, but just so you know, um, but just so you know, like you don't just these boundaries can be for life and for training and racing, right? But I mean for racing there can be things like making sure you're not going out too hard, making sure you're not chasing someone else's pace, not blowing yourself up. Like that's like race boundaries right there. Um, for me, the main thing, like, when it comes to boundaries are the ones you have to set during the actual training block. Um, maybe you just choose that Saturday long runs are the best for you and your family, and that's the time that you have for that. You need to set that boundary. I always say build your weeks around what day works um for your long run the best, because those are key workouts. Um, so you know, it could be a Wednesday. I've had athletes who have had Wednesday as their long run, some have Fridays. I've had some who have Sundays. I have some who want every Sunday off because that is their family time. That's a boundary too for their training. Um, sometimes it's just the time of day that you need to do uh your running. Sometimes it's the time of day you need to do your strength training. Sometimes it's uh setting a boundary uh with your coach, letting them know like this is what I'm doing on, you know, this Wednesday and I can't do this workout. Whatever it is, like you have to make sure you know what works well for you, your life, and your running. Um, how I coach is like I don't shove your life around your running. You have your life, you have your work, you have things that are in your life, and I'm gonna make running fit into that. And that's how you should be doing it too. Because once you start cramming all the things in um without looking at all the pieces and figure out how to fit things around what your life is, you get burnout, you get you lose that joy, and then you don't even really want to run anymore. So, um, so I mean, think about that with life too. You have to set boundaries. Well, maybe you have to set boundaries, you know, to even to leave work. Um, some people have really, really crazy work schedules, and it's super, super hard. And even if you're not a runner, you can struggle to make the time for your family, making time not to be exhausted when you're with your friends and family. So these are super important. So I have found that the more boundaries I set with my running, um, it makes it a little bit easier for my life. And some people I met are vice versa. They started setting boundaries like with their work stuff. Um, they were working like crazy hours, and then from there they were able to build more uh boundaries like with their family around running and when their time was for running, and they were able to openly communicate better. And that's the big part of all boundaries with this. It is being able to communicate that. Now, you're not always gonna get the support you need. I can't I can't even like lie about that, but you can communicate, right? When we talk about the controllables, like I said, you can't control outcomes, you can't control how people are gonna react to you and your boundaries. So, but what you can control is setting that boundary and sticking to it, and hopefully there is some support for you along the way. And that is part of discipline, and that's self-respect. So, and that's actually what's going to keep you consistent. Um, so again, uh research does show boundaries are harder for women to set, so that is just a thing because we are relied on for so many things. So practice it, work on it, and communicate. If you have a coach, communicate with them too. Maybe they can help you with boundary setting. I know that's part of my uh coaching philosophy. I do help out with that. But um, the big thing is communicating, period. With with work with your partner, even with your kids, letting them know like why things are important to you. Like your kids seeing you do these amazing things, uh, being able to tell them because there are I've had people be like, oh, you don't seem stressed, or kids just become up to me. Like I've talked to a few of my friends, kiddos, um, and even my stepdad, they're like, You just seem like you're not stressed. Like, you know, you just seem like you're okay, like doing these things, and like you're just like moving through. And I'm like, well, I I feel stressed by the way, but it's more like I've just set boundaries around my life so I can fit the things in that I love um to it. So but yeah, that is what keeps us consistent. Alright, so we have talked about the the invisible work that goes on before the race, um, how women like don't just get handed this, uh, what to celebrate during the race, um, boundaries, all that. Um, now let's talk just a little bit. I want I want to mention this because I have um some athletes and even some friends who struggle to uh run solo. Um, and sometimes that's a need. So um, well, I just this is one I really want to call out because I feel like it can be deepened, especially for women in running solo. So this is not saying women go run with reckless abandonment. Like if you feel safe, just push, or if you feel unsafe, just push through it. This is not what this is about. This is just describing like why it's great to run solo and why it's great to run with others and why it's great to have a combo of that. So if you feel unsafe, obviously, please do not run by yourself. Um, and by unsafe, I mean you do feel like, okay, like somebody could like come and get me. I feel like I'm in day in like imminent danger at those things. Um, sometimes we are more nervous than unsafe. I remember my first few chill runs, I was very nervous. Um, and it was more um out of just like being alone, there's animals, that I didn't necessarily feel unsafe. So that's where I was different, that's where I kind of differentiate it. So, okay, but let's talk about like why why running solo is important. This is not, this is gonna be a quick hit too, but it helps build trust with yourself, with the process. It forces you to sit with your thoughts. I s I swear I've made several podcasts out on long runs. Um, but like it allows you to sit there with your own thoughts and feelings, work through things, work through challenges um on your own, like when you're out there. Um And that is super, super helpful in your races. Um you could also uh, you know, you know how we do that. We have an argument with our partner and then we come up with the perfect comeback when we're out there running too. So again, but just for us to sit with those thoughts out there. And it helps could figure out things without distraction. Whether it could help figure out who you are. Sometimes out there I have a whole bunch of clarity. That's where I get more clarity is out there running by myself without distractions. Um, I do not listen to music typically on the trails. I don't know the last time I've actually had anything in my ears. And by the way, you can run with earbuds out on the trails. That is not something I'm saying. Have it low enough so you can hear the people around you in the wildlife. Um, that's my only thing with having music on, but like outside of that, run your run. It doesn't matter. I don't care. As long as you're not blasting music through your speakers and you can hear around you, I don't care. Um, but what it does is when you're out there running solo, it does help you just it helps you be out there. There's no distractions. There's you're not really talking to anybody. Maybe you see a couple people on the trail you say hi to. But outside of that, you are out there as you are without distractions. And I I freaking love it. I run more solo um than with people, um, especially because I get up so early in the morning, I think. But also I enjoy that time. I need that time. And we are different speeds. I mean, one thing I'm gonna say, like, yes, there's all the mental things, but it helps you be in your own easy effort. It helps you be, if you're supposed to do a steady state run at like a seven RPE, it helps you be at that. Like you are running your own run, and you need to do that sometimes. Uh, I I do it a lot of the time, but like you need to be in your effort level. And if you are running with somebody who especially pushes your effort level up, maybe because they're faster, even though it's an easy run for them, it might feel harder for you. You could be over training. I see that a lot more with with runs like you're pushing yourself, or I see more issues with that when you're pushing yourself harder because prescribed efforts in your training plan, guys, are there for a reason, just so you know. Um, but like so it can help you have the time that you need to be in your effort level. And also, if you haven't figured out those effort levels, this is the time to figure it out too on a solo run. Um, so just keep that in mind. There's definitely mental and emotional benefits there, but there's also physical benefits of running your own run. And I enjoy that. Uh now running with others, right? Um, so I mean, I think it brings like joy, it brings connection. You can have shared experiences. We always laugh that we're sharing the world's or we're solving the world's problems. Um, but it is, it's nice. Like, and I do encourage these for easy long runs, easy runs in general, like whenever you are not pushing anything. Um, but it's nice, like if you have man a four to six to seven hour long run to have somebody out there, even it's only for part of the time, that is, it just feels good, right? So, but there's nothing wrong with it. And sometimes I've had some athletes who like to have somebody a little faster than them on their workouts. I'm okay with that too, like having somebody like get you because it it can be very difficult to figure out your effort levels, especially in the beginning, or if you're restarting, or if it's just been a while since you don't say a VO2 Max workout. So all you've got to do is have a little rabbit in front of you and you can chase after him and get you get your workout in. I also like doing those VO2 Max solo sometimes so you can also feel it on your own time too. But again, there are space for both of them. Um, why am I bringing this up now, like in the whole celebration thing? Um, because when it comes to running solo, a lot of women do not do this. Um, and I just think whenever women do it, especially the ones who have told me, man, like I'm nervous, I've not been to this trail, or I have been to this trail, but I haven't been like here at this time of day when it's like there's not as many people. Um, or um I've never been this far into the trail on my own. I think that needs to be celebrated, like to be able to go out running solo, and those solo runs teach us so much in that moment, but also can carry out into the real world world with like more confidence in yourself when you're doing things too. So most things we do in running do translate to life. That's why I keep like paralleling that because it just goes into my brain as I'm talking aloud. I'm processing as I'm as I'm recording, y'all. Um, and then also like running with others. Uh, I know a few people who have come to me and been like, oh, like I want to run with others, but I think it's gonna just screw up my whole training block. But like I have a friend who I really want to run with, or I have this group run I really want to go to, I have this workout I want to do, and all of this, like, I listen, I'm like, so what I'm hearing is you want to do it, but you're worried you're gonna fuck up your whole block. Well, I'm gonna let you know, running with friends sometimes is not gonna fuck up your whole block. Uh, I even said missing a couple runs in your block is like 1% of your whole entire training block. It doesn't kill you. In fact, if I have athletes who push too hard and they're like, I want to run with somebody, but they're a little bit slower than me, and I feel like it's gonna mess up, I'm like, dude, run with that person so you can learn to run easier. Like, that's a lesson right there. But that's also a celebration for you to just get out of your own head thinking you're gonna mess everything up because you ran with friends. Like, we we run and trail running, especially, but running this too. Like, there's community, and we like that. So it's okay. So it's good to have this mixture, and it's good to celebrate, especially when you've pushed through something, whether it's you finally ran solo on a trail or even on the roads. Um, or when you finally were like, you know what, like I got a lot of joy for this running. My friend does too. I want to run with them. And you did run out and you did have a good time. Like, that's a fantastic thing to celebrate. That is a win. Um, and knowing when you need which one, whether it's running with others or running solo, like that's growth. That's huge. So anytime there's growth, like celebrate. Celebrate the win. I'm not saying you have to go out and party and buy party hats, but if you want to, that's cool. Um, but like it is something that is is important. So I did hit that a little harder than I thought I would, but apparently I'm passionate. Who knew? Um, so why does all this matter? Like, why does celebrating really matter? And again, these aren't always big ones. So I mean, there's been times I ate so much on an 11-hour long run once, and everything felt good. And I actually I didn't like jump around, but I was like, that was the one thing I told my coach was right. I was like, this is awesome. Like everything felt good. That was my celebration, but it was a pat on the back. Like I for I forced the eating a couple times because I was like, meh, I don't know, my watch went off, but I don't know if I want to, and I felt so much better for I've done it, for doing it. So let's get into why why why why this matters um and why all even like the little celebrations are important. Um, if you only celebrate the outcomes, you're gonna constantly feel behind. Uh, you're questioning yourself every time something doesn't go perfectly, and you're gonna start try tying your worth to numbers. Um, and we can't do that. We cannot. I mean, we can, but it's not, it's not good. It's not mentally or emotionally helpful at all. And eventually it's not gonna be physically helpful because we're gonna be in our head so much, we're gonna start pushing runs too hard and we should be doing an easy run. Um, which means we're not gonna be able to push our hard workouts harder, so we're never gonna get any faster or stronger or more efficient. So, but when you are constantly feeling like you need to be perfect, those perfectionists, this is where everything really does start to go down. Um, and I don't even mean like physically. You could still have a good race and and you've beat yourself up for all these things, but mentally and emotionally, like, they're you're losing joy. Um, you're losing connection from people too. Uh, and if you are just like I said mentioned, like if you're tying your worth to like data, to analytics, to all of that, first of all, half of those data analytics that you're looking at are wrong. So stop looking at them. Um stop looking at the whole like Garmin gave me this number. Y'all know. My athletes know how I feel about data. I did a podcast on data. Um, but stop looking at those. Just be out there and do your best, put out that effort, all of that. But again, if you only celebrate outcomes, that's where you're just feeling like you're just basically a piece of shit. Because you're never ever going to be able to control that outcome. You can do the work to get a certain outcome, but that doesn't mean you can you can get that outcome every time, right? You can do the work. That's the process. So if you start celebrating that process, you're building confidence that doesn't disappear after one bad race or even one race that just didn't go as you wanted it to. You're gonna stay in the sport longer and have more joy, and you're actually going to enjoy it. Um, it helps you continue in a training block when things aren't going well. It helps you stay focused in a race when you're focusing on the process instead of the outcome. You can be out there racing. I've been out there before, and I'm like, I'm not gonna hit my goal. My second, third hundred K were just, I remember I was like, okay, like I can do this, I've done this, I've practiced this, and neither one of them I was even close to my time goal. And my time goals are very realistic, but you just keep moving and you stay present in the moment and you you celebrate that process. So you celebrate the training, you celebrate within each race of what you're doing. Um, because when you actually take a step back and look at it, there's a whole lot of work that you put in there. You worked hard to just be at that start line. You worked hard just to do that training block. All of that. You stop, you need to stop looking for outside validation to tell yourself that you're doing a good job. You've got to be able to do that for yourself. And that's why it's important to celebrate that process. Celebrate what you're actually doing and not only celebrate the outcomes, right? I'm saying not only celebrate them because you celebrate that finish line. Whether you hit your goal, whether you had a PR or not, it's a finish. Like it's something you did. It's something that you got a medal, you got a finisher's award, whatever that is, but you crossed that finish line. It's like when I talked about the LA marathon, that the 18 mile, um, how they let people cut off at 18 miles due to weather, you still celebrate that. Because you did, you made the right choice for you. Yeah, there's gonna be people who are still pissed about that, but you know what? You made the choice for you. So that's the big, like, overarching, like why, why it matters to not just worry about those outcomes and also not comparing yourself to others too. Like, haven't even got, I feel like it's an episode on itself, but we will look at ultra sign up and see who's there, and sometimes that will get in people's head of like, oh my god, like I'm gonna finish like way. I'm not gonna finish here, I'm gonna finish here, and all that. You gotta not focus on that. You have to focus on yourself. Celebrate the people who are out there though, too. Celebrate all those women who are who are towing that line. Celebrate everybody who is out there starting that race. But don't let other like you comparing yourself to others um get in your head too. That's not part of the process, that's not part of the outcome even. Like, you just can't pay so much attention to everybody else. So probably should have mentioned that earlier, but I don't even have my outline. It just hit me like I have a l- I have friends, I have myself, I have done this in the past. I've had athletes who are busy comparing themselves to other people who are signed up for the same race or who they know, and it's like, dude, not the same person, and you can't control what that person does. That person could have the best race of their life in the race that you do. That person could have a terrible race, right? You don't know, and it's really not your business. Your business is to focus on you, get your shit together, get your stuff done, celebrate yourself, and then also I'm all about celebrating others too. Alright. So think about this. A DNF, because so so when we think about, and I'm gonna say talk about DNFs, but even this is even not hitting your personal the the PR or even doing like what you wanted to do out there. Um, but remember you gotta remember is it doesn't erase your training, your effort, your growth. And sometimes the strong decision you make all day is to stop. Whether you've been cut off by time, uh, whether you've been puking and things aren't going right, whether you fell and something's going on with your knee and you don't feel comfortable going on. Um and sometimes again, like it's just the fact that you made it to the finish, but it wasn't what your goal was, or it wasn't a PR, or whatever it is that you set. It does not erase that training, that effort, that growth. Nothing is erased. Nothing is erased. You haven't crossed the finish line, so you're not even erasing the finish line because it wasn't there. Um so don't let it erase those things because that's what we can control. When you miss your goal, also when you're missing your goal, it doesn't mean you failed. Um, it means one variable didn't line up. You can have a great day and still not hit your time goal, especially if you're setting some aggressive time A goals for yourself. So, just so you know, even if you don't hit those goals, it's one variable. That's it. There are so many other factors in this, that is only one variable of that. Alright, so here's what I want you to take away from this. Um, if the only time you let yourself feel proud is when everything goes perfectly, you hit your goals, whatever, you got a PR, you're gonna spend a lot of time feeling like you're not enough. And that's not because you're not doing enough, it's because you're ignoring everything that actually counts. You're not just a runner on race day. You're a whole ass human who gets up early and stay or stays up late, makes hard choices, keeps showing up, sets boundary, figures it out when it's messy, runs through work and life stress, does all the things and keeps going when it would be easier not to. And that's the win. Not just the finish line. So yeah, celebrate your races, celebrate your times, but don't forget to celebrate the person who got you there. Celebrate the shit out of yourself. Because that version of you, that's the one worth paying attention to. Alright, thank you so much for being here, spending some time with you. Super, super grateful. Um, again, I will be running Coca Donna when this drops on Tuesday. Uh, it depends when you're listening, where I'll be at, but feel free to track me. I'm gonna put uh the link in the notes below. You can track everybody on that for the 250 and the 125. So um super excited, but again, super grateful you guys keep listening. If you love this episode, make sure to follow it, download it, leave a rating, a review, share it with a friend. Um, it does help these messages reach so many more people. So now go move your body, drink some water, stretch your calves, and if you're listening while running, loosen your shoulders. You're welcome. Good effort, positive attitude.