Episode 44: Cocodona Mile 176 to the Finish: Left on Birch

Made it! The final stretch. Mile 176 to the finish line at Heritage Square in Flagstaff.

This episode covers the solo section through the Foxboro habitat where I was navigating a tracker scare, chatting with a woman from the UK named Jen, and trying out AirPods for exactly 30 minutes before deciding music just isn't my thing out there. Then Amanda, my very first athlete and longest client, shows up at Munds Park to pace me through the coldest night of the entire race. We talk about who she was when she first came to me and who she was that night in the dark, and I will just say she crushed it.

From there it's Cat coming back for a second leg, egg and bacon burritos at Walnut Canyon that I absolutely inhaled, Meg pacing me seven miles we both remember fondly, and Wayne, if you've watched the Golden Hour you know, who we passed about a mile from Wildcat Hill. Then it's the gear check, the buckle moment I didn't see coming, and 19 miles solo over Mount Elden in the dark with nothing but a headlamp and some hallucinations for company.

In this episode:

• The solo Foxboro section, a tracker scare, and 30 minutes of AirPods before I gave up on music entirely
• Amanda, my first athlete, pacing me through the coldest night and every dirt nap in between
• Crying on a hill because I was just tired and Amanda not saying a word, just keeping me moving
• Renee at Fort Tuthill, five minutes before her own race start, and why that hug hit so hard
• Cat coming back a second time knowing she'd miss my finish for her son's piano recital
• Egg and bacon burritos at Walnut Canyon and the moment I just completely lost all table manners
• Meeting Meg for the first time at mile 227 and how easy it was
• Wayne and the ultra lean, if you know you know
• The gear check guy who told me to go get my buckle when I left the aid station
• Mount Elden in the dark, alone, hallucinating ships, legs shaking on the edge
• Left on Birch and everything that came after it
• What 253.4 miles actually taught me about time goals, gratitude, and showing up for people

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Transcript

0:00

Hey y'all, welcome back to Dirt Nap Diaries. I'm your host, Brittany Olson, Trailrunner, Women's Trailrunning Coach, Hypewoman, and Professional Overpacker of the Mid Run Snacks. This show is for the everyday trailrunner, the ones training on real life legs and real life time. You've got work, relationships, laundry, pets, a group text that never shuts up, and maybe a big goal sitting quietly in the back of your head that you're not totally sure you're allowed to want. You're not out here chasing podium spots, you're chasing finish lines, sunrise, and maybe a little sun sanity. This podcast is about trail running, but it's also about navigating life. The hard seasons, the joyful ones, and the ones where everything feels like too much. So let's get into it. Alright. We are now into the uh third, kind of fourth episode about Coca-Dona, but really the third um uh recap of the race. Uh but first personal update, nothing huge. I got a little bit of a cold. You can probably hear. I've been told people who could talk to me over the past couple days can hear it. Um so Sunday evening I kind of was like starting to feel it. Uh, and then I was gonna record this podcast and I just kind of went downhill. Never got bad, but if you guys know how annoying colds are and how you get that sinus pressure and how it makes you have brain fog, that's where I've been. But feeling a lot better today, just have that residual bullshit that just never wants to go away. So, but feeling better, not a big deal. I went through that whole training block and race and even right after without getting sick, which your immune system goes down, so I was kind of surprised. So sometimes this stuff just happens, but uh yeah, excited to out about this. Um, I have been slowly getting back to running uh this week. I should be on the trails a little bit more. Uh my longest run is like 90 minutes this week. Um, so still enjoying that uh period of like not long, long runs just yet. Before my hundred-mile training ramps up, um, but still like looking forward to getting back on the trails. I'm definitely getting that itch to to start up again, but it's been a really nice, just relaxing time. Um, I've had more time to read, uh, more time to chat with like athletes. I've been having some uh time with friends, just stuff that's a little different, and it's nice. Greg and I went to a couple concerts. We just went to Thievery Corporation in Tucson this last Thursday, which was awesome. We have another concert in a couple weeks, actually, less than a couple weeks, about a week and a half in Tucson again at the new Vinilla La Rosa. So all kinds of good stuff. Um, so as you can tell, always busy, but always doing a lot of fun stuff that uh I like to do. So I'm gonna keep it that for sure. But that's it for now. I'm sure it'll be more personal stuff as I go through this episode, as we all know. But we are uh, if you remember last week, we uh stopped stopped with um Kristen leaving me at Schnebley Hill and where Greg made sure I was clean and all of that good stuff. And I also got uh a couple blisters I had to pop. They can they cannot pop your blisters for you. The EMT slash paramedics cannot. Um you have to do it yourself, but they give you a little thing to pop it and then they will tape it. Um I think I see with infection or and liability, and I don't know what it is. But either way, I pop it in front of them, they show me exactly where to do that, and then they tape up my feet. My feet actually did really, really well. Um, I think the only reason I got any blisters at all is because of how swollen my left foot was and my toes wouldn't bend eventually, and my ankle wouldn't really bend. So a lot of pressure, more pressure went onto my right foot. And I had a couple blisters, not that bad though. Like I when I remember I took out my shoes after the feet, after or to after the feet, after the race, and everybody's like, your feet don't look that bad outside of like the massive left foot that was just looked ridiculous. But like the actual like redness, hot spots, and all that for 253 miles, it really wasn't that bad. So anyway, but got my feet taped here just to make sure like didn't get any new blisters and wasn't wasn't feeling like pain when I was out there. Um, and so this next section is uh Shneabeli to Muns Park. It is, if I remember correctly, like 14-ish miles. Um, and it is a solo section, so no pacers allowed through this Foxboro section. Um, it has to do with a Mexican spotted owl habitat. It's why we didn't get pacers at the end either the last 20-ish miles. Um because you uh because they are nesting and I don't know, just just stuff. So we just have to be quiet. It's a very weird thing for us to have those limitations because they let um ATVs, you know, those like side by sides, four-wheelers, they let them go through there as fast as they want, um even though it's the same habitat in the same place. So neither here nor there for now. But anyway, it was definitely like running alone. It's a very runnable section, so there was I did um jogging and walking though throughout, um, just because again, like first of all, you're so far into the race, you're already at 176 miles when you start out, which is a long way to go, if you're wondering. Um, so there was um definitely like walk runs. Uh I at one point my tracker, this is where my tracker um got messed up, and I'm not sure exactly what happened, but at one and my phone was in airplane mode um at one point apparently, and I found this out um because I went out of airplane mode, but Greg had been texting me and calling me, and it looked like I was like six miles off route. So like I was completely off route. Uh he had left voicemails and I went out of airplane mode because I think I'd I'm guessing I went to like a low point because anytime I started getting having some doubts about stuff, I would go out of airplane mode and see the text messages that are coming in for people cheering me on. Uh so anyway, I see these um messages coming through, and it's like, hey, like you're off course. Hey, like uh you you have to go back where you got off course or you'll be disqualified. And I'm like, dude, I'm on course. I I did I did I can't remember I text him or I called him, which is weird. I should probably know this, and I actually don't know what I did, but like I had been seeing um the era of Ipa Flags to mark the course. Um I'd been going back and forth with a couple of people out there who were on the exact same route I was on. You know, I'd probably saw like six or seven people the whole time I was out there. I'm not sure if it was that many, but it seems like that. Um we were kind of leapfrogging, and um, yeah, so either way, I was on course the whole time, it just looked like I was way off, so it kind of freaked some people out, but my tracker just needed to reset, which did not get reset at the next spot, but in a few other spots just because um they didn't have, I guess, the reset tools. I have no idea. But either way, I was fine. I was on course. Um, like again, like I already mentioned this is a fairly runnable section. Somewhat rocky in some parts. You know, it's never super smooth, I feel like, whenever we run these, but there are there are a few little smooth spots. But uh, so we uh or we, I say we, I just kept I kept moving. I actually at one point I saw a guy who kind of looked like he came out of nowhere, but he probably just had laid down, taken a dirt nap, or sat on a rock. Um I went by my and he had came out and he walked a little bit. Then I see him sit on another rock, and then when I was coming by, I was like, man, that looks like a really good rock. He's like, that's the problem. I keep seeing really good rocks that are just calling me to sit on them, so I go sit on them, and then I get moving in, and then I see another good rock, and I sit, and then I get moving again. So his his rock sitting was kind of like the dirt naps I had had. It was just like just sitting down for a little bit, getting a reset, and then going again, because at that point it's just getting harder and harder um to be out there. Also, while I was out there, um I met a woman from the UK, uh Jen. We are now friends on Facebook, yay! But um she was out there doing her thing. We were just we were just we chatted for a bit. Um I don't even remember exactly what we all chatted about, but she was uh we were both just really excited to be out there, and it was good to actually just chat with another woman. And we went back and forth a little bit. Um she ended up s uh finishing, I know, a couple hours before I did. Um and I didn't see her again after we got to the next aid station, which was uh Muns. But um so happy she did amazing and she finished. But it was just there was so she was one that I actually talked to for at least a little bit of a period of time because by that time about the only people I'd been talking to were my pacers. Um and the any conversation I had with anybody else was very, very short. So it was actually pretty uplifting to talk to somebody. On this section, I actually got out my AirPods, which I keep I kept on me um for s for all that race just in case I needed them. I rarely listen to music or podcasts whenever I'm running on the trails. I do on the road all the time. Um, so first I tried a podcast that I like, and it definitely I couldn't focus. Like that was like I couldn't do anything, so then I put some music on, and I think I left it on for maybe, maybe 30 minutes if I'm being generous, and then it just it's not my thing out there. Like it was very, very distracting. It didn't, it wasn't bringing me down, but it wasn't uplifting me either. So put those away. So out of that whole 122 hours I was out there, I had 30 minutes of music um while I was alone. But um, so as I'm going through the Foxborough section, eventually you do hit like you do hit concrete uh pretty close to where the Muns Park aid station is. So um I'm just on concrete, walking, jogging, um, trying to run a few of the downhills. I kept thinking the aid station was closer than what it was. I don't know why, if if I was just confused, or if I just wanted to be there, or if my mileage was off, or whatever. But just kept trucking along, and then as I'm getting closer, you actually go underneath um the I-17. So it's very weird because you're in in nature with all these like pines, because you're in Flagstaff and you're on, you know, trails. These are these are not single track trails, they are like ATV trails, um, jeep trails, all of that. And all of a sudden you're just like in town and you're running underneath the I-17. Um, so very interesting kind of it's it's just so different. Um, and it was getting dark as I was heading in uh to Muns Park. So I knew I wanted to get there because I knew I had a pacer there, but just kept moving. And then when I get to that thing, I see um James and Sue and Heidi and Amanda and then Greg. And oh my gosh, I'm gonna forget. I'm trying to think if Adam, Amanda's husband was right there. I did see him there. I just can't remember if he was right there, and then Heidi's husband chat. I just can't remember if they were there or if I saw them at right at the eighth station. Um, anyway, but I did see all those people sometime when I was there. Um went in. I definitely ate some more ramen. Like we got to the van, ate some more ramen, uh, because that was my jam, as we all know. I think I actually had some banana there too. Banana was definitely something that kept um going down. I knew I wasn't um gonna like sleep, sleep there. Uh, but I do I did like sit in the van for a bit and like lay and chill. Um, this is where there are some times where I'm like, meh, I probably could have got up and went went, you know, got going a little bit earlier, but I also was just feeling just doing what I could do, you know. It's very hard. I think any 200 miler is obviously hard, but your first one, you've learned so much about everything and how your body's gonna respond to that much movement, being awake for that long and all that, and mine was I'm not gonna sleep that much. So, um, but ate, did all that, um, talked to James and Sue for a bit before I relaxed, uh, and then, you know, got ready to go again for the night. Uh, had to have uh more layers with me because this section ended up being the coldest one, which is pretty normal. The next section goes from Muns Park to Kelly Canyon, which there's an aid station there, and then you go from Kelly Kelly, no crew, and then you go from Kelly Canyon to Fort Tuthill. So that whereas you're on your way to Kelly Canyon and out of Kelly Canyon, it is very, very cold. I don't know what the temperature was, but it was cold, but we'll get to that. Um, but at that aid station again, there was their Heidi was there, Amanda, um, who was not a planned passer, but had told me in advance, like, hey, I'm bringing my stuff in case you need me there. Because of my timing, it worked out really well. Um, Kat had already arranged that Amanda was going to pace me from that section all the way to Tuthill. And um, so she was there, all ready to go. Um, like I said, Chad, Adam was there, Greg was there. Uh they have this little I don't even remember whose tent it was, but there was like a little tent there that hung out there for just a little bit. Uh but then uh we Oh, I saw Simmy there too. Yes. I don't know if Simmy listens to this, but Simmy was there. She had uh unfortunately DNF'd the 125, but she is an amazing woman, um, and she gave me a big old hug right before I actually took off with Amanda, so that was super awesome. Uh she had came out came out just to find me, so it really helps whenever I've I've mentioned this throughout the these episodes to have somebody like come out and find you and search you out just to say like good luck or like you're crushing it and giving me a hug. Like it means so freaking much. Um so got a hug from her right before um was taking off with Amanda. I mean, literally right Friday, I almost missed her. Um so then Amanda and I take off into the dark from um Muns Park uh to uh Cali Canyon. So Amanda is um one of my athletes. Uh I she is actually my longest athlete, my very first one. And uh when I first started coaching her, um she didn't she was she didn't want to run at dark alone, like and these are not these these are not um abnormal things, like it can be scary, especially in the mornings. And when I when I had signed her, um I hadn't met her in person, which is pretty normal whenever you do uh running coaching. And I was out doing a uh run early in the morning uh and it was dark, so I had a headlamp on. And I'm running uh from Black Rock Loop at White Tanks to back towards my car, and there's a parking lot there, and I was running through the parking lot and I saw somebody standing there. Again, couldn't see him because just the headlamp on, and I just said good morning, like I always do, and they were like, morning, and I just kept running, and I was running up Mule Deer, and all of a sudden I see that light, I see a light go on, and then like somebody running, not close behind me, but I could tell they're running the same path I am. I was just like, okay, whatever. And then I get a text a little bit later, and it was Amanda texting me, letting me know that was her who was in that parking lot, and I was like, Oh my gosh, like you should have said something, but she let me know, like she had been in her car for like 20 minutes trying to like hype herself up to get out and get moving um in the dark, and then she had got out of her car and was like standing there, just like hyping herself up, and then when she saw me just run through, um, she's like, Okay, I just have to take off and do it. Um, so anyway, I'm telling you that story because first of all, you know, that was the her like working through the darkness and like moving through, and then she uh paced me through the entire night. Like it was dark the entire time until we almost Tuthill. So somebody who was like very scared to run at night, we were running in unknown territory where we were at um from Mun's Park all the way to Tuthill, and she came out and she did a fan friggin' tastic job. We did some um run walking. Uh she made sure that when I needed a uh dirt nap, that she covered me up um with her emergency blanket. So so many good things from that. But we I actually just texted her today and I was like, man, I keep wondering, I keep wanting to go do that section of the daylight because I have no idea where we were or what it looked like. We just went into the darkness. Um and in in that time before we got to Kelly Canyon, I actually saw I think I'm pretty sure that's where I saw the sign that said two marathons left. Um so you know, 52.4 miles, I believe, is what that math adds up to. Um, which is crazy whenever you you see that sign. Uh, but it's like wow, two marathons left compared to what I've already done. Um so we did get a picture of that with that. Uh but yeah, we just we just kept moving through the night and we talked uh and chatted and we get to and I was getting I mean, I was so tired. I mean I had laid down a few times and she was there and she said every time I would lay down, like, and she had to wait. Sometimes I'd wake up before she would like move me or like tap me, but a lot of times like people would just especially as we got closer to Tuthill, um, people would like pass me when I was sleeping, and then as soon as she woke me up, like I would just jump up and start moving again, and then pass those people back. Uh so sometimes you just have to do that, by the way. Like, if I had tried to keep trudging along without laying down, I probably could not have like caught those like kept the pace that I was moving. So my moving pace was actually pretty good, which I didn't know um until a few days ago. Uh I'm telling this now, this might feel like a tangent, but it's part of this, is all my patients are like, you're moving so well, you're moving so strong, and I was like, whatever. In my brain, whatever, bullshit, like I'm not moving that well, like it's taking me forever. Um and I wasn't negative, like that much out there, but more my head when they were like, You're moving so well, I'm like, oh, they're just shitting me. Um but then when I look back, my moving time was great. I just had a lot of stoppage time. So it made me feel good because it knew I knew my legs were strong, you know, I was mentally able to push myself and that. So like she was out there just encouraging me the whole time. Um, and then like so we saw the two marathon sign, and then we get to Kelly Canyon and they have a a fire there. Of all things, Kristen, my other pacer, was actually volunteering at that aid station, and it was very busy at that time. Um they had tents where people could sleep, two cots per tent, and they were full. I did not plan on sleeping there anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. But like there were tons of people around the fire, um, chairs, all of that. Um Amanda got me to eat, um, some ramen, of course. Uh, but it was uh it was very, very cold there. Um so we didn't sit for I don't think we sat for too long. Um Amanda talked to like a couple of the people there. Um but it was just more of like it was it was cold. I was tired, and we got moving, I think, fairly quickly compared to a lot of people were hanging out there for quite a while. Um so we took off from Kelly Canyon and leaving there was very cold. Um and I found out about a week or so after she had paced me, she goes, Well, I couldn't say this at the time, she's like, but I was freezing. Um so she's like, My hands were so cold that I didn't even want to eat because I'd have to like open my gels and and get my fingers cold. So um, but it was, it was uh it was cold. It was cold there. So uh but she was definitely a trooper out there. I had no idea that she was cold at all. Um again, she woke me up from from dirt naps without a problem. She let me take dirt naps when I needed to. She asked me if I had practiced those, and for me, there was no way to practice them, but she's like, man, she's like, I would put my pack down, your head would hit it, and you would start, you would fall asleep, you'd start snoring like immediately, like you were out, and then she'd wake me up in seven minutes or five minutes, whatever we chose, and I would be up again. So um those little dirt naps are what saved me. If I ever do a 200 mile again, like it's gonna probably be dirt naps all the way because I cannot sit or I cannot just lay and sleep for a couple hours. I have heard from a lot of people who said they slept two to three hours and it helped them out so much. And I think I'm just one of those people who might not be able to do that for whatever reason. So, um, but we did. I took a couple um dirt naps as we got closer to Tuth Hill. Um, and I knew we were getting closer. It was definitely getting lighter out too. So um I was like, and I it was weird because I was like, I actually don't even know how to get into Tuth Hill the way we were going, I know a different way. So I was like, we've gotta be getting close. And I remember seeing that, like, when I knew we were there, I could see some buildings. I'm like, okay, we are almost there. And we get in, Amanda and I like are heading towards Tuth Hill, and all of a sudden I see there's a start line, and I realize the Flagstaff Crest 40, that race is about to start, and uh my athlete Renee was in that race, and it was like five minutes till seven, and they start at seven. I was just like, I said something to a man, and she knew I wanted to get there and take a nap. But I was like, we gotta find Renee, like she's she's here somewhere, and there was no way I would have found her. However, Renee was looking for me because she hadn't saw the time and had been watching my tracker, and she she says she saw us come up and she came up and gave me like the biggest hug, one of the only few times that like I really like teared up, but like she gave me a big hug right before she got she started, and it really did like it lifted my spirits. I was so tired, but it was so good to just see like someone I had coached, uh, someone who I consider a friend, um, and someone who is just like emotional for me too, um, because you could feel that emotion um from her. And it was just like one of those moments that I definitely um needed at at that at that moment. Um I probably needed a lot of hugs throughout there, but yeah. Oh, and I say I only cried a few times. I will say there was one point Amanda and I were hiking up a hill, and I just had tears rolling down my face. Um, because I was just tired. I was tired, nothing was hurting on me, like my ankle was swollen, like I mentioned it, but it didn't hurt. But I just had like tears rolling down my face because I was just tired. Like you just get out there and it's like I just want to sleep. Uh, and then you can't sleep, at least for me, that's how it goes. And then so you just keep moving um and move and move and move, and you're part of a part of your body's like, let's just stop. Probably a big part of my body was like, just stop. Um, but I just cried and kept moving, and Amanda didn't say a word, she just kept me moving. So that's what you need in a pacer, by the way. You don't need somebody to baby you at the time, you just need to keep them to keep you moving. So cried there, teared up when I saw Renee, uh, but still like that was a moment that I definitely needed, a moment I will not forget. Um and then I think I went into the actual Tuth Hill Age Station just very briefly. I might have gone P actually, now that I say that. And then got to um Greg was there that said that's a cruise spot, and um Kat was gonna take me from there, but got to the van and definitely like chilled, tried to sleep, didn't get much sleep, of course, because that's just how it goes for me. Uh this is a theme, right? Uh move and try to sleep and not sleep, unless I'm taking a dirt nap. So um uh I said goodbye to Amanda there too, uh before I laid down. Uh and again, like I knew Kat was coming and she wasn't there yet, so it actually worked out really well because I did want to lay down. Um so uh it was great that uh so I got up and like Kat's there. Uh she she was eating, I was eating. Uh I went and got my feet taped again because some of the tape was just coming off. Um because, well, your feet are just always busy. Um, so I knew that, you know, I knew she had a busy like week and weekend already. Like she had came out to pace me, um, had to go back home um to put her uh to put her son to bed and all that. And I also knew like he had a piano recital um the next day. So like it was all I knew she had a whole bunch going on and it was like, gosh, she's doing so much for me. Um, which made me feel really good. Um and she's like, no, like I want to be out here. So um, but it is, it shows the sacrifice that people make to be out there to support you, which is absolutely amazing. So um from here, and this one, I don't feel like it feels cloudy, but I do remember just being exceptionally tired, more so than I had been. Um so we are at well when we leave Tud Hill, it's it's broad daylight, like it is you can you can see everything. And it the temperatures actually weren't that hot. I want to say it was like I thought she told me it was like 74 degrees, but it was just so exposed that like it feels hot. So um we left when we left there, I was like, I know it's gonna be warm, it's gonna be fine, but I mean it It was and it was fine. We made it, but it was warm. At one point, she's like, oh my gosh, I know where we're at. When we come up here, like we're gonna hit a whole bunch of shade. Well, the race course did not veer to the right, it veered to the left, so there was not a whole bunch of shade. So psych. Um, but uh, you know, that's just how it goes. So it's a very if anybody has been to um Arizona at all, and yes, there are different parts of Arizona, but a lot of Arizona in general is exposed. Yes, there are pine trees in Flagstaff, there are pines in other places too, Prescott. Um, there are mountains in other places, the White Mountains, um, and Greer, but you still have a lot of exposed, and it can be a beautiful day or the temperatures look amazing to a lot of people, but with where we're located and how much sun gets to us, it feels very, very warm when in other places it might not feel so warm. Um also I have been moving for a long time, so my body temperature is up just from all the things that I'm doing. Um, so um, but as we're as we're hiking, I I remember going past a couple and then like I feel like somebody passed me. We didn't see many, very many people. Um I know at that point we weren't seeing a lot of people outside of each other. Uh, and I know I don't think I was down now, but I think I did struggle to carry conversation, and I think Kat carried most of the conversation, which is good because she has a lot to say and she is fun. Um, so luckily she could carry the conversation without me having to say a whole lot. Uh I definitely had a couple points. I thought I felt a little bit nauseous, but I did not puke. I didn't puke again actually since Tuesday night. Um, so we just kept moving and talking, and I wish I could remember some of the specifics right now. Uh some stuff was private, some not sharing, but uh there was just like just lots of just like catching up and and you know, most of us adults don't get that much time together. Um we just don't, even when we plan a happy hour or a dinner, there's always so much more to say, but we had so much time out there that we just boop got to talk about all the things. So it was then that um the next section, which is about seven miles, um that's when Kat's like, well, I think we're gonna have like Meg uh Coon um come and like pace you. And I had not met Meg, but I had also heard so many good things about Meg and I trusted Kat. Um so I was like, okay, cool. Like I just need to get to the next place and the next place, and then you know, just just I just need to keep moving forward. Um, so we're getting closer to uh Walnut Canyon, which is the next aid station. Um and Kat's like, remember my rule, and her rule was you have to jog into the aid station looking like you've been jogging slash running the entire time. So we jogged into the aid station, um, making it look like we had been running for a lot longer than what we had. So you always have to, you have to be pre- you have to be prepared, you have to be smiling. You know, who knows if there's gonna be a picture coming up. So Greg had everything set up really close to where we came in on the single track. Uh so I got to like sit down, eat some more stuff. I ate this is a place that has egg and bacon wraps, and it was what I was thinking about for a while. So there were two spots I was really thinking about. One was the hot dogs that I ate, and I was actually with Kat at that time too that I ate in Sedona, and then these egg and bacon wraps, burritos. Um and I ate, I think, three of them and had one to go. Um, and I mean I just stuffed them in my face, like there was no stopping me. They were warm and salty and so good. Um, and like I it's not when you can eat like that at that moment, it is so good and you need that energy. So we didn't this is one of the shorter stops too, but um got everything, like ate as much as I could, um, had my uh had my pack refilled, all that good stuff. Every aid station and or every cruise spot, Greg made sure my pack was filled, um, made sure I actually had scratch, like I mentioned in the last episode. That's when I realized like just tailwind was not was not gonna get what I needed for sodium. Um so got that taken care of. Uh and then Meg and I took off from Walnut Canyon to Wildcat Hill. Um and this, like I said, it's a seven mile section. Um it's really actually it's it's not like a super exciting section, but we hit it right around the time the sun was setting, so it was really, really pretty. Um and the weather was super nice. Um, so we just well, and since we didn't even know each other, we just started having a conversation and we just it was easy. Like it was super like she kept me moving and we moved at a really good like clip. Um, it was solid. Uh, and like so it felt really good. Um, and we ran into um I don't know, some of you have watched probably that that golden hour, but we ran into Wayne, who was the unofficial um last finisher. Unofficial means it was over cutoff time, but he did cross the finish line, and he had the ultra lean. Um, so we actually saw him out there about a mile or two from Wildcat Hill. And um he was just uh he he was standing there and we were like, Hey, what's what's going on? He's like, Oh, he's like, I'm getting the lean. He's like, I'm just trying to get my stuff together, stretch a little bit, you know, and Meg and I kind of look at each other and she's like, Do you need anything? And he's like, No, there's there's really nothing you could do for me. Like he's like, I'm just gonna do what I can and all that. And Meg's like, Are you sure? And he's like, Yeah, don't worry about me. So, um, it was crazy because he's the guy, and I if if you if I guess if you guys have watched the Golden Hour, you know what I'm talking about, but he had the he he was leaning so bad on the way to the finish. I don't know how he made it up and over Eldon, um, just pure grit. But that was a very emotional finish, which I was there for his finish because I was there for that last hour. But like walking past him and seeing him, it's like we both, Meg and I both knew like something's going on here. We didn't feel like he was like in imminent danger, or we would have done something else, but it was just more like something's going on here, like this guy's this guy's gonna be in for a struggle, probably. Um, which we her and I, we actually I took uh Kat, Meg, and Kristen. We actually went out and did uh did a little dinner and stuff and we talked about talked about that, uh, Meg and I, but how we both kind of have that same thought of just man, something's going on. But again, I don't know how many of you are travel owners listen to this, I hope a lot of you, but uh, for those of you who aren't too, uh travel owners, we will typically not leave somebody behind. Like if somebody is actually like in trouble, we're not just gonna keep moving, we're gonna figure it out. Or if they're in trouble, and like again, if we're close to another aid station, we would get a medic to help. Um, but in this instance, it didn't feel like he was in trouble, it just felt like something was up. But we told him bye and we kept moving. And then I get to Wildcat Hill uh with Meg and Greg's there, of course, his crew, and then James and Sue and Noel, uh Noel, who is um Meg's boyfriend, and then we had uh Marcel and Hillary there. Marcel had actually DNF'd the 250. I hope he gets back to do that, by the way. But he um he was also there. So again, like there's some video of actually that, and that was so cool. I got like hugs there, um, and that was really cool. And I uh ate some food there. I started to get cold, so I told everybody bye except Greg, and we went to the van uh because I needed to um change. I needed to make sure I had all of my um weather gear, all that good stuff before I left. So I did I did lay down for a bit. At that point, it was just like I'm gonna chill for a little bit. I have time to get up and over Eldon. It's gonna be dark, and that's just how it is. Like, so Eldon, it's kind of a it's kind of a it's it's it's not easy to go up and over. I enjoy the up as always, but we go up the longer side. Um, so I think and I am trying to remember now. I should have looked this up before I started this episode. You go up one side and it's four miles up and it's two miles down. But you are losing, so when you're descending, you're losing the same amount of of um how much you went up, you're losing that amount going down, but in half the mileage. So it's a much steeper and it's a much more technical downhill. Um, so that's just preparing you for what's gonna happen. But right now I'm still at Wildcat, and at Wildcat, get everything ready, chill out, try to sleep just a little bit. Didn't work. Imagine that. Theme of this, theme of this uh Coca-Dona. Uh but we get all of my cold weather gear ready. I went ahead and put on pants because of the top of Eldon, it's normally quite a bit colder. It was not, by the way, but because of how big my ankle was, I could not have taken off and put on a shoe all by myself. Um it was just too hard. What was great is my ankle still didn't hurt, so like putting it on, like Greg having to shove that shoe on my foot, I didn't really feel it. Uh, but it was just like really hard to um get on. So I put on put on pants because I thought it might be cold at the top. Uh, we get my shoe on. Uh I don't even know if we were tightening it at all. I think my literally the shoe was just on my foot uh by this point. And we go to do the required gear check, and the guy's like listing everything, you know, do you have this? Do you have this? Do you have this? And he's like, okay. He's like, one more thing, what else? And I was like, my whistle? Because we had to have a whistle on us. Most packs, by the way, have a whistle attached to it. And he didn't say whistle, so it's like, my whistle. I thought it was being like, he was checking me, you know, just see if I knew. He's like, nope, and he's like, Your buckle, you gotta go get your buckle. And I was like, that is I about lost it right there. Like, that's when I was like, oh my gosh, this is really happening. Because I had the next 19-ish miles solo, um, all by myself, just all by myself. Um, which uh is daunting, and at the same time, when you're that tired, you just kind of know you gotta keep trudging along. Uh so after that, like that guy said that, that was pretty emotional. Um, and uh then I left. Just headed back out there um towards Eldon. And this time um, going towards Eldon, it was a little bit different than what I had done in the past, and honestly, going up there, it wasn't all different, but it I had never done it at dark, and a lot of it felt completely different. And there were so many times where I felt, and I probably was, where I was just on the edge, and I remember looking over to my left several times. There's times you can look to your right, by the way, but I remember specifically climbing up Elden and looking to my left and seeing absolutely nothing, even with the headlamp on. Like, I was like, I will just drop into nothing if I fall off the edge of this. Um, and being out there, you know, five days already. It's kind of scary. Like, when I look back now, it's actually scarier than what it was in the moment because I was so tired. But like, you just keep climbing, and there were a couple times where actually, luckily, I found some spots where I could stop and just like lay down, and I wasn't laying down to sleep. I was, I think, having, and when this is just me looking back on it, maybe some adrenaline rushes, even. Um, because I remember a couple times, like I felt like I was getting nervous about being close to the edge, and like my brain was going a little bit too much about falling, and my legs were shaking just a little bit, like it felt like they were just vibrating. Um, and they might not have been physically vibrating, but that's what it felt like. And I remember just like kind of sitting down a couple times, sometimes laying down, and again, not to sleep, just because I felt like I was shaking. Um, and again, it wasn't even cold up there, which was crazy. Um, that's the one thing I was like, man, I wish I would have crossed the line in my shorts because I love my own legs, by the way. If anybody's wondering, I don't have the biggest confidence in everything of my body, but I love my legs, but didn't get to show them off my finished line photos. But that's that's a story for another time. But anyway, um, but finally got to like up to the top, like tree line, all of that. And then I kind of got when I got there, I was surprised. Uh, only because it didn't feel like the Elden I had climbed before. And like I said, it started a little bit different, but it definitely like getting to the top, it was the same way I've done it before. But um, it's weird, like when you're first of all when you're that tired, but also whenever it's dark, things feel very different, and that felt super different. So when I did get up to that tree line, I was like, whoa, how am I here already? Even though it felt like it also took forever. But talked to a couple people because I was seeing a few more people. Uh, and just like kept moving. Um before you get there's actually towers on top of of Elden. Before you get to those, you actually go down for just a little bit, and then you kind of have a little bit of a steep up going up. Um, a steep up going up, that makes sense. And I actually felt really strong on that up, and it's not a big up. Like it's not like it's like miles and miles long. I don't even know how long it is. It's I don't know, two tenths of a mile, maybe. Um, but like I just felt strong going up when I passed a big group of people, uh, which made me feel good because I was getting, I remember, I was tired. There was no getting. I was I was just tired. Um so it's just one of those like little boosts I needed. Um so but like when you have those boosts, it is really nice. But going down was going down was what a lot of people were thinking about, um, especially those of us who know that because like I said, you're going up four miles, and then in half that time a distance you're going down and you're losing that amount of vert that you actually did. So it's steeper. It's also the technical side, there's like boulders that don't move. It's very uncomfortable. And I've like I said, I've run down it before, um, not quickly, but this is gonna be slower. But they do encourage you um to be like, hey, like if there's somebody you want to tag along with because you can't have a pacer, because you know, it is you're deep into a race, do it if you can. So there was a group, there's a group of four women that I did join for just for a bit, actually for about 45 minutes or so, maybe an hour. And I finally I was like, I I felt like I needed to move a little bit faster, like I could feel things kind of start to tighten. Um, so I finally just like, hey guys, I gotta get moving a little faster. And I actually headed down Eldon pretty darn fast after that. Um so just kept moving, uh past some guy that was out there, uh, ended up going past um somebody else who had just laid down. I knew we were super close. There was one more aid station before the finish, and I knew we were close to this Trinity aid station, I knew it. And I get past this person, I realize like I'm hallucinating a little bit again. Like I'm seeing things that aren't there. I'm seeing like people that I think I can touch and they're not there. I'm seeing these ships going across in front of me, um, and they weren't there. And I was like, okay, I've gotta lay down. And I laid down for like five minutes, just so I'm like, I am so close to this aid station. Just just like get your mind right. Uh so I did when I laid down and I got up pretty quickly, and then I just like kept jog walking towards that aid station because I knew it was close, and it was. And I get to Trinity, I get there, the woman who I ended up um knowing who it was, but not in that moment. Her name's Tanya, like I have followed her on Instagram, you know, like I but so I didn't know her as a as a as a friend, but like I knew her, and since then we've DM'd and stuff, but I was like, oh my gosh, like that's who it was, but it's funny because I saw her and it didn't even cross my mind. And then another guy came in around the same time we did too. So Tanya had decided to lay down at that aid station. They did have a cot there because she was hallucinating, she needed to get her mind right, and she had time um to do that uh and still finish. And I got there and my mouth was tasting so funny. I don't even remember when my mouth started tasting funny, but I was brushing my teeth every time I saw crew, and my mouth just had a weird taste for so long, and I'm sure it was all the sugar I was taking in and all the ramen um and all the electrolytes, but I mean my mouth has never felt like that before, and I hope it never feels like that because it's really gross. Um, but I get there, I tried to drink coffee and it was not going down, so I ended up having a couple of um a couple of cups of coke and then a couple of like banana pieces, and from there, there on out, I knew I wasn't gonna eat anything else. I knew I was not gonna eat another gel, I knew I was less than four miles from the finish, and I was not gonna eat. I was gonna use that caffeine, sugar, and banana and get to the finish. Um, and at that moment too, I decided I was gonna take off. Like I was going to run and I was just gonna do it and it didn't matter. Like, just keep running. Now I did have some walking spaces in there. I actually haven't looked to see how my time between those last- Now I'm gonna go look after this, how how fast I was between those last like 3.9 miles. But I'm not saying I was running six minute miles, y'all. Like, it feels like you're running hard whenever you're not running hard at that time, or whenever you're not running as fast as you normally would, you are running hard. But um, but I I freaking like took off part of me, and it's funny I told people this. I was thinking about um how like I want to get there and I want to get there before too many people are gonna be at the finish or finishing behind me because I want to get pictures. Like, I want to be there, I want to have that moment and be able to bask at that finish line. And if somebody had finished within two minutes of me, I probably wouldn't have cared honestly that much. But like in my brain, I was thinking, I want to get there, I want to get some pictures, I want to get some pictures of my people. Like, I want I want that moment. I want that moment for me. Um and I did get that moment, but look at so what it is is I actually knew that last part of the course pretty well. I had paced um Ashley to her finish last year, so I was this one I knew I had clearly, even though I did it in dark with with Ashley, I could clearly knew where there was a climb and a descent and all of that. So I'm running, I could feel my knees, especially on the descents at that time. Um they didn't feel terrible, but they didn't feel good. So I'm jogging, running, whatever you want to call it along, and I'm getting close to Buffalo Park, and there's uh there's a drone following me at some point. Um, and I was like, okay, like cool, whatever, because it was just there. And I keep running, and all of a sudden I see Kristen, like really close to like the front of Buffalo Park, and I gave her a big old hug. Uh she was jogging it in with me. At that point, we could have like Pacer's crew, whatever, right there. Um, so she was there, and there's a bathroom. She's like, you know the bathroom. I'm like, you know what? Why not? Why not take a minute to go to the bathroom? So uh it's funny because when I started heading to the bathroom, the drone totally just like flew off. Uh, which as it should, why would it want to stand over a bathroom? But like, did that. Um, and then now I can't remember if it's before I went to the bathroom or after, but um Brian Slavin, um, Megan Slavin is my uh physical therapist. Her husband was there with their dog Strider, and he got a he got a big hug from me too. But he was out there, which was pretty cool. Um, not waiting on me, he was just out there. For another reason. I actually don't even know why he was at Buffalo Park now that I say that. Hmm, gonna have to ask that question too. But uh, so anyway, but leave the bathroom and then uh we just start running towards the finish. Um and I was feeling pretty darn strong um at that moment. Uh at one point though, Kristen and I were running down a hill on the road, and my knees were feeling that road pretty good. And at one point I was like, okay, I gotta walk for a little bit. Even though I wanted to run, I was like, okay, we're gonna have to walk for just a little bit because the knees are definitely feeling the pressure of this road and of the 250 miles I had already run. Uh so I can't think of all the streets that I had turned on, but at some point I believe I took a left-hand turn, and all of a sudden, um, Meg was there who had paced me those little those seven miles um that I had talked about earlier. So uh it was just kind of like, hey, like, I know you, but her and Noel were gonna do um Humphreys, I believe, that day, but they saw that I was finishing and they were able to get there, and they saw they were able to see where I was, and I found out at at the the dinner we did together that they they had actually gone to Buffalo Park because they thought that's where I was based on the tracker, but I was actually closer. So they went to Buffalo Park and then they had to drive back and they found me, uh, which was really cool. And then so Meg joined Kristen, and then by that point, um the last I want to say it's the last half mile or so, I'm really not sure how long it is. Uh, but uh they have a camera guy out there, which is super, super cool. And if any of you have watched this, I'm assuming some of you at least have watched some of Coca Donna, they do like, they record your finish, so you have that memory, which is really freaking cool. And they're talking to you and they're cheering you on, and like I've got my people there, so I'm talking to Kristen and Meg too, and I'm picking up speed. Like I know I am because I'm like, I when I saw that guy, I'm like, I am so close to this finish, like I am so close, and it's a very weird feeling of like really wanting so badly to take off your shoes, but also never wanting this to end because it is such a surreal thing to be in. I mean, I know it's real, I know it happened, I know I did all these things, but it's very different because I knew I wanted to be done, I knew I wanted to sit down, I knew I wanted that buckle, I knew I wanted to just like sit with this, and then at the same time I knew like once it was over, it was over. Like all the training, everything, like once that race is done, like there is there's no going backwards and like redoing that. So, um, but it kept running and I and I did. I picked up my pace. Um, and then I realized I might have picked up my pace a little too early, so so slowed it down slightly. But um, I remember I was like, I remember asking, I was like, where's birch? Where's birch? Because the the saying is left on birch, because once you take that left on birch, you're almost a heritage square. And you get when you get down birch when you take that left on the birch, you just know you're about to take a right hand turn to go into heritage square. And they're like, it's it's just up here. I'm like, What? There were two lights, and I was like, the first light and the second light, and they're finally like the second light, and I'm like, okay. And I was just moving. I mean, I just kept moving. I was like, I hope there's no cars coming when I cross these streets. Luckily, it was early in the morning on Saturday, so there wasn't much traffic, and I could keep moving. One car actually stopped for me, even though they had a green light, uh, which was great. And I remember I took that left on Birch and I was like, where's the right hand turn? And I was like, where? And there's a short, tiny little timing mat strip, and they're like, it's where that blue strip is, and I was like, okay. And um, I hit it, and I had asked, I had no problem with anybody coming out and running from Buffalo Park to that point with me, but I had asked Greg to let them know, like, I want that finished shoot to myself. Like, that is that's my spot. I want that finished shoot. I want it, I want it, I want it. And I'm guess I guess they knew that I Greg relayed the message, and like I got to take that finished shoot all the way down and cross that finish line at what I felt like was a pretty good sprint. I don't know if it was, but it felt pretty fast. Um, and yeah, and people were there, and I got my buckle. Um, Greg was the first one to hug me. He was actually standing off the side, and I was like, where the heck is he? Um, and then like I I can't even describe the finish. Like, I did not cry. There were people there. Amanda was there, Heidi was there, they were teared up, Karen was there, Joanna was there, one of my athlete slash friends who had just finished the 125. Um Jeremy was there who had met me out at Jerome. Uh, like it was just like so many, so many like people were just like there and waiting and to give hugs and to just just like be there and celebrate. Uh Joe Corcion was there. Um I am coached by Liz, who is on his everyday ultra coaching team. Um, so he was there. I got to give him a big old hug. Uh and then the race director, Steve. Um, it was funny as I was actually running into the finish. Was thinking about hey, I get a big old Steve a big old hug from Steve, um, who was the race director there. So um, I don't remember who handed my buckle. Some dude handed me my buckle, and then Steve gave me a really big hug. Um, and then I got to take my finisher's photo. Um, all that still seems like a blur. Like, I can see the pictures I have of people who who were there. Um, Noel was there, um, just like James was there, Sue was there, um, all these people, um, some people who I'd seen throughout the race, some people like just at the finish or at one other spot. It doesn't even matter, it's just the fact that they were there. Um and that finish line, like moment, I wish I could say like everything is just like I felt this clarity, I felt this, and it's not that I wasn't clear, it's just more it still is so crazy that I had ran over 250 miles and crossed the finish line, and here I am holding a buckle with all my support. Um and like I'm just here. Like I had stopped moving and that was it. Like that that that was done. And there was no like disappointment, there was no like anything, it was just more like wow, okay, like I'm done. And I couldn't stop smiling again. There were there were no tears for me, which I was expecting to cry, and I had no tears at all. Um, I just like could not stop smiling um at all. So it was just kinda crazy because I feel like before I I've been an athlete for for years, guys, for I mean, since I was a kid, I've always been competitive. It is, I mean, I wasn't even close to my time goal, and it had no impact. It had no impact on me during the race. It had no impact on me when I crossed that finish line. Like, it didn't make me feel like a lesser athlete because I didn't hit my goal time. Um, but I felt a heck of a lot of gratitude, like, for my body, for my mind, and for every person who showed up there for me. Like, that's what I was feeling. Um, I did it, and I had so much support and so much love going into that. Um I don't know. I feel like there should be some like moment of like, hey, like, what did I know what did I want to know know about myself now that I didn't know at the start line? And I don't know. I d I don't have anything like that going on in my brain right now. Um, I think a lot of things in training gradually put me to where I was where like when that time goal went by and it didn't impact me, I think a lot of that happened in training when I realized like I'm doing the work to cross that finish line and I can control the process, I can do the training, I can run, I can lift, I can, you know, eat this way, I can practice my eating, I can practice my hydration, all of these things I can do and I can control that, but you can't control that outcome. And I think that's just where my brain went. It's like you've done the work, Brittany. Um, all you've got to do is keep moving, and if you don't hit your time goal, that doesn't take away from all the work you've already done. And that's maybe that's what I took away from it. I don't know. But um, yeah. So again, like I didn't even hit my time goal, it wasn't even close. But I crossed that finish line, um, completely happy. Um, I was genuinely and completely just full of gratitude, of love for the people who gave up sleep and drove mountain roads in the dark and came back a second time and showed up in drome and at the river and at the finish line, just to say I'm here. And 253.4 miles taught me this. The goal on papers isn't really the point. The point is who you become getting there, the point is who shows up for you, and the point is finding out who knows, somewhere around mile 190 on the coldest night, um, six minutes on the ground of sleep, whatever it is, but that you're so much more capable than you think you are. So now it's time to go find that out for yourself. Alright, y'all. Thank you so much for being here and spending time with me. Um, that's it for Coca-Dona. I told you I'm gonna do a QA, so you will see my contact information in the show notes. If you have questions that you want answered, um, reach out to me. Uh, that will be the next episode. I'm gonna talk a little bit about my recovery. Um, I've had a lot of questions about the recovery and how kind of I've actually been able to chill out and I've been okay with that. Like I didn't feel the need to keep moving. Uh and just any questions you have. I've already got a few um out there. Uh there's some repeats already, so but that will be the next episode. But if you love this one, make sure you download it. Um, make sure you follow the show, leave a rating or a view depending on what app you listen to this through. Share with a friend. It really does help um this message reach way more people. Now, go move your body, drink some water, stretch your calves, and if you're listening while running, loosen your shoulders. You're welcome. Good effort? Positive attitude.