Episode 54: Alone on the Trail: Why Solo Miles Matter

A text from one of my athletes got me thinking about solo running, and it turns out I have a LOT of feelings about it. Some of you won't run alone, ever. Some of you love it but won't admit it to your run crew. And some of you are the friend who keeps saying "come with us!" until it stops feeling like an invitation. In this episode I'm making the case for why solo miles matter, for your training and for your life, and I'm not doing it with a "just get over it"...fear of running alone is real, especially for women, and we're talking about how to work with it, not around it.

In this episode:

• The 4 types of runners when it comes to solo miles... and which one you are
• What always running with others actually costs your training
• The voices in your head, and why race day is a terrible time to meet them for the first time
• How solo runs build boundaries and confidence that carry into the rest of your life
• Practical steps to start running solo if fear or nerves are holding you back
• Your homework (yes, there's homework this week)

Links & Resources for This Episode

• Stability in Motion (SiM) - SiM is all about reminding people how
  to be playful, creative, and enjoy life
• Follow me on Instagram
• Visit my website: www.sunrisetrailscoaching.com
• Want to work together? Learn about 1:1 Coaching
• Free guide: What’s In My Pack? Download here

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey y'all, welcome back to Dirt Nap Diaries. I'm your host, Brittany Olson, trailrunner, women's trailrunning coach, hype woman, and professional overpacker with a mid-run snacks. This show is for the everyday trailrunner, the one training on real life legs and real life time. You've got work, relationships, laundry pets, a group text that never shuts up, and maybe a big goal sitting quietly in the back of your mind that you're not totally sure you're allowed to want. You're not out here chasing spoke po uh podium spots, you're chasing finish line sunrises and maybe a little sandy like I am today. This podcast is about trail running, but it's also about navigating life. The hard seasons, the joyful ones, and the ones where everything feels like too much. So let's get into it. Alright, y'all. It is still my birthday month, less than a week until the day. August 17th is the day. Mark your calendars. Uh I love birthdays. I love my own birthday, so super exciting. I'm going to a Mercury game on Sunday. Tarasi's jersey's getting retired, so it should be a good time. Uh Arizona Wilderness Brewery visit afterwards. So that'll be probably the big birthday celebration. But um either way, the month is still happening. The month is going on, so keep celebrating. Yay. Uh outside of the whole birthday month, um, you know, still running. I actually biked um Peloton, I guess I should say, on Sunday, and I will do that today too. Had a little bit hip, hip flare-up. Um, who knows? And nothing like no acute injury, just more of a hey, we do really hard things, and sometimes things happen. Um, and I've been traveling and I did Coca-Dona and I have Moe coming up, so I've still been running. So no concerns really for my PT. We just worked it, so it's a little sore, did some needling, did some soft tissue work, uh, worked on some different movements. Um, because it just seems like there's a little bit of pinching going on. So outside of that though, things are same oh, same oh. So we're gonna jump into this episode. Um, I always say this one might not be too long, but I don't think this one's gonna be as long as the last one. But uh I've got I've got a couple texts recently from athletes talk asking about solo running, um, and two very different athletes in terms of like how they like to run. Um, some people really enjoy like running in groups, uh, others enjoy the solo part of it, but what I'm gonna talk about is why solo miles actually matter, why we should all be doing this. And yes, I do actually have strong feelings about this. Um and uh just like acknowledging like that it is sometimes hard uh due to fear being uncomfortable, and there's other reasons too, you know, just not knowing the trail system, um, you know, and so we just want to I want to talk through that. Um, so so you know, like, okay, this is why it's important. I also understand that it is difficult and it can feel um very like scary, um, and trails are very different than roads, so that can be a different conversation too. But also, like, hey, why this matters in lives, like how the confidence builds through that. So, um, let's talk about four different people though. I don't know if you four people are listening right now, but this is who I like picture in my head when I think about like solo running, either whether you have an issue with it, whether you like it, but person one just won't run solo. They will uh wait for a buddy or they absolutely have to have a buddy, um, and they won't keep asking until they have one. They will actually skip runs if nobody is free. Or they will just skip their trail run and then they will run on a treadmill or run on the road because um they don't want to run solo on the trail. Um, and then basically their training lives and dies by another person's calendar. There's person number two. Love solo running but can't admit it, and I don't mean can't admit to themselves, but to others, maybe even their coach. Um, makes up excuses to skip group runs instead of just saying, I need this one alone. Um, so it can be very difficult to say no to friends, especially friends that you love so much and you do enjoy running with, but you can't run with them all the time because you love your solo time. Doesn't matter why you love your solo time, but you love it. Uh person three is the pressurer. This is one that really that really gets in my skin. Well-meaning, but they say come with us on repeat, and it becomes very if the it just becomes super, super pressured. So instead of just taking that no, they will continuously pressure someone to say, come with me or come with us. We're doing this group thing. Uh, normally the pressure typically almost always runs with people. Or they struggle to find people to run with. Uh and then person four, I call it's the working, the working picture. Uh the person who runs solo when they need it, they have friends to run with when they want to, and who's group who when they run with a group of people, they're honest about their paces and they're totally fine like splitting up or waiting at like critical uh turns and stuff so nobody gets lost. But this is like this is pretty much so what I will consider like where where I like a lot of runners to be, where yes, like they will run solo, they're great with it. Um if they want to run with friends, great too sometimes. Um, but then also like when they are in this friend group, they all have this agreement of like, hey, like I'm gonna end up going ahead because of this, I might have to fall back because of this, I may be doing a different distance or time on feet. Um, but it's very like healthy to be that way to be able to do all the things. So not everybody is there though. So um think about it though, like which one are you out of these four? Like which one most aligns to who you are? There is no wrong answer, but just think about out of those four, yes, there could be subcategories within these, but um and you could be maybe more than one. You could have personal personality, uh, there are multiple personalities, uh depending on the week. Uh I know some weeks, like I definitely need more solo time. Um, and I run a lot of solo miles, y'all, so this is kind of you know a big, big thing for me. But like, you may just have a week where it's just been really crappy and you work at home and you just need some people around. Um, and then the next week you're like, I need solo. I have been around people too much. So that's the multiple personalities. But just as we're going through this episode, think about which one you are and where you really want to be. And maybe that changes in this episode after I talk about it. Maybe it doesn't, but just keep it in mind as we go through this. Um, so let's think about too, like, why do these solo miles um matter so much? This may be the longest section too, because I want people to really understand like why these solo miles do matter for your running, and then we'll break it down into hey, why does this matter for life too? Um so when I think about solo running, one of the things that comes to mind are are the group runs, which are fun. It's how I started trail running, was going to group runs. I didn't start solo running actually for a long time because I was scared of snakes and getting lost on the trail. Uh, and uh there's also just a great group of people that I have met and they were they're still amazing to run with. Um, but at that time it was just felt even more amazing because I had no idea what I was doing, and I could have people show me the trails and get to the snakes before I did. So um, but when I think about group runs too, a lot of time, like there's there's there's conversations going on, right? There's uh distraction, uh, there's pace matching, all these things. Are is the are the distraction, the conversation, sometimes a good thing? Yeah, like sometimes just like, man, like I've been around my kids all day or all week, or um my kids the first week of summer, you know. Um, or it's just been one of those times it's like, I just need to talk to somebody who is not at work uh because I don't want to talk about the work stuff. Uh the pace matching can be a detriment because we in in our own um we should be in our doing our own effort. And a lot of times when we're trying to match somebody else's pace, we're not in the effort zone we need to be in. Um, but a lot of times with this, like these things, these group runs where it's drowning things out where there's conversation distractions, it does feel nice, but for me it's what I would call I did I did a borrowed confidence slash earn confidence episode at one point, but this is kind of like that borrowed quiet, and it's not like this earn quiet that you have. So maybe you're like quieting your mind from other things by getting a distraction, but you're not actually sitting with what's going on. Like when I know when I go out there for like solo runs, it is there's a lot of things I'm processing in my brain as we move. It helps us process things. Sometimes it's happier things, sometimes it's sad things, sometimes I'm thinking about what the next podcast episode's gonna be. But in those quiet times, um, it's very different than when you're with a group who is like quieting different things in your brain. So um that's why I start talking about group group runs because there's nothing inherently wrong with going on a group run sometimes. There are just things that happen out there that if you're constantly in that, you are never in yourself, like you were never within yourself there. Um, there's also many training costs of always running with others. Um, your effort stops being your effort. And I already alluded to that in in just like a couple minutes ago. When I program my athletes, I am programming based on them, their unique goals, uh, their experience, their background, uh, prior injuries, um what kind of distances they've run in the past, uh, where they eventually want to be, even five years from now. Like things that I know, anything that I know, um, life stress, work stress, uh everything that I know, my my programming for them and their effort level, and when they do harder workouts, those interval lengths, length of time, all of those things, like those matter in terms of how I'm programming people. But so when your effort stops being your effort, that causes some pretty big issues in terms of training. Does that mean you won't finish your race? No, but does that mean you're gonna hit your goals? I don't know, I can't tell you. Does that mean you might get injured because you're chasing somebody down? Could be. Could you have burnout because you're not running your own thing and you're mentally feeling in such a way that you're like, I can't keep up with these people, and ah, it makes me so mad, or oh my gosh, like I want to run faster, but I'm trying to hold myself back from my slower friends. So it can go back and forth. But when you're running with faster friends, every easy day quietly becomes a moderate day, maybe even a higher level day than moderate. Uh recovery gets harder and you dig a fatigue hole, you can't see until you're in it. And a lot of times when you're doing this, you might not even notice right away. Eventually you notice because your breath is coming too quick, but then at the same time, you're not intentionally thinking about your effort too, because you're with friends. So you are there, you're running harder than what you should, uh, everything gets harder, and then until and then it's it's not that it's too late, but you're normally gonna start feeling fatigued. And even if you're being coached, they're not gonna know that unless you tell them. But we you can't always tell what a person's effort level is based on pace. If I have an athlete who's out doing a road run, um, and their pace is normally say like an easy like 10-minute mile, we're using uh just round numbers here, and then one day like I look and they did like a nine-minute mile over that same exact uh time frame, same exact thing, and same exact effort. To me, that's like holy shit, like that was just like three days ago. Why does this look like that? So, my running that does trigger something, right? However, when it comes to trail running, it's a bit harder to see because you have to look at elevation profile, you would have to know the terrain. Uh, you there's so many different aspects that a lot of times pace is not indicative of how much effort someone is putting in. So if you are running faster, your coach is not gonna know unless you tell them. And if you're not being honest with yourself, you're not gonna know. So, again, that's when those easy days become moderate, the recovery gets harder, and you dig a fatigue hole. When you run at those with your slower friends, uh your quality, your quality days lose their edge. Um, and over a whole block, that can actually make you slower. So running with faster friends all the time and trying to push yourself can make you slower too, because you're more prone to injury, little niggles, um, again, that recovery comes harder. This can be the opposite, where you're just never pushing yourself where you need to be in your effort level, and you can be slower too. Um, again, that would mean not hitting your goals, potentially not making a cutoff, all of those things. Again, this is whenever you're doing these things consistently. You're running with faster people consistently, you're running with slower people consistently. Um either way, you're running based on someone else's training and not yours when that happens. Again, there is nothing wrong with running with people sometimes, but doing it all the time will have an impact. I love it when I have athletes who uh have their rabbit with them whenever they're doing a hard workout and they find themselves struggling to push as hard as what they can. I love that kind of thing because that's awesome when you have friends who can push you. Um, but what I'm talking about is that consistent day over day over day of training where you're not getting the work that you need for you. Then we start getting into like the race specific specificity piece of that, right? So as you get closer to your race, especially when you're in the endurance block, we'll say the last like it depends who you are, eight to sixteen weeks of a training block. Um, you are gonna be more race specific in your training. You're gonna wanna get the vert per mile that that you need. You're gonna wanna be on uh train that's similar to what you're running on uh for the race. So basically as race specific as possible, if you can get on course, great. That's amazing. Um, but your race has these demands. The the climbs, the fueling, the rhythm, all of it, right? If every run is a social compromise, you show up on race day having trained for a race that doesn't really exist. You're not training for yourself. So let's talk about like getting on course, right? So I uh love to get on course. It's really nice if you can get on course and it's like a point-to-point and you don't have to loop and you can have friends who can park a car on one end and you can park on another. Like that's fantastic. Those are great things. Uh, when I do runs uh like that too, because I have done plenty of them, if I'm feeling like I'm slower than I've told people to keep going because I've seen people slow down from either I'm having a rough day, it's hot, whatever it happens to be, and I will actually just be like, hey guys, like I know where I'm going, navigation's in my watch, please go ahead. It's actually distracting me a bit because I know you're waiting on me and I'm just having a bad day. There's other times where I'm out there and I'm faster and I'm just like, hey guys, I'm going ahead. Uh, you know, like I will rate wait at like a critical turn so nobody misses it. That kind of stuff. So, but I will also go out solo and do those things if I can't do it point-to-point with friends. Like, I will go out and do that. Um, I have met people and I have worked with people who will not go out to a different uh place or a different trail or get somewhere that's race specific on their own because they are nervous about being on their own. Is that valid? Yes, we're gonna talk about that in just a little bit. However, there are ways to work through that so you can be doing these things, so you can get on course when you want to, so you can feel what it's like to run solo. Because guess what? When you're out there racing and running, sometimes you are solo. You can be in a huge trail race too, and you can be solo. I have found road races, I haven't done a road race actually in quite some time. You're rarely solo, it seems like, but like trail trail running, there's a lot of times where it's solo, and the further you run, uh it gets into the nighttime, you know, it can be nerve-wracking, you might not have a pacer with you, whatever it is, but like that is important, that is one of the importance of like being able to run solo and be getting in those race-specific pieces while you're solo because that can happen during race day. Um, and that can like that's how a lot of like trail running is too in general. Like, I know I moving to the west side for me in uh here in Phoenix, I do a lot of a lot more solo running than I did before because there are less and less people like out here that that run at the white tanks and run at the Australias. Um, so like, and I'm okay with that because I was already running solo, but it's very different whenever you're out here and you're like, oh, actually, there's really not a choice. There's nobody out here except me. Um, so that is one way that I got used to even running more solo miles. It's like, well, it's just me. Okay, and I also enjoy it. But it's not just about me, but what I just want to, I want to be very like specific here because I have a lot of people like, well, like this, this, and this, and I hear a lot of reasons and I hear a lot of excuses, and it's like, okay, I get it, you like to see your friends, or like you are nervous, but there are so much good with being able to run on your own for your race, whether you're running at a race like specific, like training run, um, whether you're out there doing uh work harder workouts, like it is good to have some of that time by yourself. Um, like it's a it's a lot of it's about running in your effort level, and a lot of it is about, hey, you're gonna be solo sometimes during race during the race, and nobody's there chatting you through it. Um, if you've never trained alone um in your head, the race is your first introduction to those voices that are in your head, and that's a terrible time to meet them. Yes, we have voices in our head, don't we all? I don't know. I don't know if it's a if it's if they're good or bad, but they're up there. And so if you have been training with people so much, you have never sat in that what I would call like uh silence, but it's not 100% silent because your brain is going. I find myself normally liking that time. Occasionally I rage run, something's really pissing me off, but for the most part, in that it's a great time to just like let those thoughts flow and let them go. And you can like some thoughts come in, you're like, I just don't even need to think about that, go away. And other times it's a great time just to process stuff. Um, so you've got that going on and you've got all these voices in your head already. Um, I don't know what they sound like, but we've all got them. Uh, but if you're waiting till race day and all of a sudden you have that, those voices, because you're gonna get some voices in that are gonna tell you, like, you you can't do this, you know, this is too hard. You are gonna experience that during training when you're on your own too. And that's where you can work through that. And then you get done with the training run and you did it on your own, and you have that confidence built of like, oh, I did do it on my own. Sweet, awesome, yeah. But if you're doing this on race day, you're not having that, you didn't have that experience of like finishing a run solo. This is your first time. So those voices be can become very, very overwhelming. So you are in those solo runs, you are basically training your brain and those and and training like when you hear those voices, how to work through that and what that looks like. So also in terms of like working through things, solo runs build in like self-pacing, self-fueling, self-problem solving. You're no there you're not outsourcing decisions to uh someone you're with because you're not with anybody. So again, I train most my people and most trail running coaches should, and I believe hopefully they do, uh, should train on effort. So like, but there are times too when you get in your head out there when you're by yourself. Like you're like, okay, I'm at an easy effort, I'm at a three right now, okay. I could go to a four, and that's fine. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh god, but look, my pace is like a 13 and a half minute mile. I should be pushing harder because last time at this effort level, I was doing an 11-minute mile. And wait, wait, but wait, the trail, the trail was definitely like a little bit flatter. So so, right, so you're going through all of these things. So when I talk about self-pacing, that's what I mean. Your brain is going through all of these things, right? So you can work through that though in training runs when you're solo. You can be like, wait, this is my effort level. This is where I'm gonna be. That pace is what it's gonna be. There's nothing I can do about it, but I can control my effort when I'm doing these things. Self-fueling. I love working on fueling when I'm by myself. I will try actually more different things when I'm alone than when I'm with somebody because if my stomach's gonna revolt, if something bad's gonna happen because of something I'm trying to eat, I don't want to mess up somebody else's run, first of all, and I also don't want them to have to deal with me depending on like what it does to my stomach. I have a sensitive stomach, uh, so sometimes food does not sit right with me. But that's part of it too. So whenever I'm working on my fueling, I do like to do some things alone because it helps just me. Like, not I don't I'm not gonna worry about s other people when I'm doing that. I'm gonna think about just myself. So that's another big part about solo running, just being all think about yourself out there. Um, being able to be like, this is what I'm gonna eat. And also like thinking about that finish line. So when you're out there, there's all these different mental aspects that are going on, physical too, but so many mental aspects you're working through, right? Like the problem-solving piece of it too. I um have puked in races, I have puked in training runs a couple times, it happens. Um, but whenever uh at Coconut, whenever I started puking, I had puked in a couple of training runs. I'd actually puked at Moog that I DNF'd um the prior year. Uh but what what I have been noticing as since I've been like solo running so much too, and I've puked a little bit over I haven't actually puked on a run a little bit, but when I did, I was able to work through that on my own. I was able to keep eating, keep drinking, and I was all by myself. If I had not been able to practice that and have that like mental strength, it would have been a very different Coca-Dono for me, possibly a DNF. So it is important to know how to work through different things when you're out there. Of course, if you fall and you have a bone sticking out of your leg, you're gonna need some help. Don't get me wrong, but there are things out there that happen, whether it's fueling or hydration or just being in your head, or like, man, like things are just getting a little bit too sore too early. You can figure out how to work through those things by running solo on the trails and training. So important. Um, and just so you know, group runs are not the enemy. Not at all. Uh they're great for easy social miles, like motivation, even some long-run company. The problem is all of your runs being group runs or being with even if it's one other person, right? Um, um, that becomes like that that's a tool, it's not a default. Uh so again, why do I keep bringing this up? Because I don't want people to be like, well, then I guess I can't run with anybody ever again. Uh that's that's to the extreme. But it is hard whenever you are constantly running with people to uh either overcome the fear of running alone and then bouncing into like working through challenges, working on effort levels, working on all that problem solving that's that's gonna happen out there. So um my my solo running, uh part of the reason I like it so much is like I am a person who is constantly like working, uh whether it be my consulting job, whether it be coaching, um, whatever it happens to be. I am imagine that I can monologue, but like, you know, I am constantly either like on my phone texting somebody back, on my computer, emailing or texting, uh, working on um content, uh, typing marketing stuff for my consulting job, like all of these things. So, like the solo running for me initially just started as like a way just to be like, I just need to be out here by myself. Um, and that's whenever we're gonna say that like I I started hearing all the different voices. Um, and some were negative, some were positive, some were pretty just neutral. Like, this is what I'm thinking about. It's this is where like running is where I come with podcast ideas, or the ideas come to me, but like what I want to say. Um, it's also a place where like I work through, like, man, this has stressed me out, like, oh my and sometimes it's like, wait, I was kind of a bitch that day to somebody, I need to go apologize or you know, those are things that happen in my brain when I'm out there alone. And then other times I start thinking about, okay, I'm going up this hill, I started hiking, I could actually run right now, get running, and you'll still be in your effort level. And there's other times where it's like, how are you gonna finish Moog with how you feel right now? Um, every morning right now has been very difficult for me to wake up. Part of it's the heat, part of it I think was just the long vacation we took, which was amazing. And part of it is like I've been moving for quite some quite a bit this year, like with Coca-Dona, uh, Mount Blanc, and now Mogue. So like I'm looking forward to a break. But what happens when I'm out there then is like right when my alarm gets off, even it's like, why am I doing this? Why am I getting out of bed? And then when I'm out there on the trail, even sometimes I'm like, okay, just move those legs. And as I'm moving my legs, I start to feel better and better, and I start thinking about that moog finish line, or I start thinking about, hey, I'm gonna program this athlete this way because they told me they want to work on their hill running. Like, and so all these thoughts start coming to me as I'm moving, and I end up being happier by the end of it. So even though I get that negative, those negative voices at times, still the movement and running solo helps my brain process through that. So, as you can hear, a lot of this is mental. Yes, of course, if you are running faster um to keep up with people or slower, that has obviously physical impacts, but then there's a very I feel like the biggest component is that mental component. So, um, but now, so that's like why that matters for running. There is I could dive so much deeper into that, but that's like the overarching picture of this. I may try to do an episode on race specificity and solo because it does matter quite a bit. Um, but for now I'm just gonna leave it there. And I'm gonna talk about why. Why this why does this matter like in life? I haven't done a life parallel, I don't think, in a while on my podcast when it comes to some technical stuff with trail running. So we're gonna talk about that. So being alone in your own head is a skill in itself. Um I'm actually an extrovert, yes, haha, imagine that. Um, but I had I actually have always enjoyed my alone time. I've always been a very big reader. I used to write a lot more than I do. Like I did enjoy it, but I still had my social time. But I feel like being alone, like, was always something that I did, and part of my because I have four brothers and sisters too, right? Like, you know, five kids in the family, always you know, numerous cousins, just busy, busy, busy. So, like, my need to be alone, like I've oh I've been able to do that for a long time, but it is a skill to have, and uh, most people do avoid it. Um, they don't like that feeling because when you are alone, you actually sit, you sit with yourself, right? You you actually have to sit with feelings. Um, and I don't even just mean being alone like from people, I mean having something in your ear all the time. Like there's oh you always have a podcast going. Yes, I hope you're listening, but like you have podcasts going. Um, you're on your phone, like just scrolling and doing stuff. Um you're listening to music. You have television on in the background, right? So like it's not just about people, it's about like just being like around things all the time and always being uh interacted with in some way or another. Even if it's passive, it definitely has an energy suck to it, too. And you're not letting those voices like in your head. So those trail voices that I talked about, they have life versions too. You know, they're gonna tell you like, you're behind, it's too hard, everybody else is doing better, right? You're gonna have the negative, you're also gonna have the positive ones too, but like you're gonna have some of those that are like, fuck, I don't know if this is useful or not. Like, am I behind? Is this too hard? Why is everyone else doing better than me? Um, but you will have those, and a lot of times that we do instead of like addressing these things that are happening in our brains, we will shove a podcaster here, we will listen to music, we will call somebody. Um, and am I saying don't ever call anybody? No. I actually the other day, man, I am struggling with how our country is. I am feeling a hundred percent exhausted almost every single day. Um, and I reached out to my friend Kath and just like let her know, man, this is what I'm feeling. I don't know if I'm depressed, I don't know what's going on. And it's what I had mentioned, um uh I had mentioned it in uh um email to my athletes recently, and like it was just like what the things that are going on like in our country and like especially like people who are empathetic and who are very in tune with it, we aren't made to have to deal with that. Where am I going with this? You're you're gonna see. Just hang with me. But like there is so much going on, like just in j like just just in our country, right? There's just things and then we're we are hit with social media and media, and things just continue to we keep like just being hit with information, hit with things, trying to figure out what's true, what's not true, trying to realize it's okay to rage because there's some bullshit going on, and also trying to keep your own piece of like I need to take a minute and unplug, right? So all of these things are happening, and then instead of like actually sitting with it and be like, why am I feeling this way? Why am I so tired? Why is all this happening? Like, we put something in our ears, we put something, you know, for us to see on the screen. We avoid what it is instead of sitting there in our own silence and being alone. So that's what I'm doing, by the way, guys. Sitting sitting in some silence, trying to figure things out, putting the phone away, not having music on. Um, occasionally I do a little background like yoga music just to like do that, but like really it's really good to be able to just be alone, period. That means like nothing going on. Um, but again, what I mentioned earlier is like, hey, you don't always have to talk to somebody all the time. That's what I mean whenever I say hey, but you might want to reach out to somebody when something feels real bad, because I was feeling pretty bad when I finally said something to somebody. Um, and I wish I had said something a little bit sooner. So I'm not saying don't say a word to anybody and just stay silent, but you also need to sit with your feelings and figure out what the heck's going on up there. So yeah, I'm not a psychologist, but I really want to be one now. So so think about like how you have these these different these trail voices, or these trail voices have these life versions, and then think about how those solo runs are reps for sitting with discomfort without escaping it or needing someone else to fix it, right? Sometimes you just sit with things, sometimes things are uncomfortable, and maybe it's something that needs to change in you, and maybe it's just something that doesn't need to change, just something like I'm just uncomfortable with this, and so that's just how it is, right? It is human to not be have the exact same comfort levels as somebody else. But what those solar runs teach you, they are those reps, they do help you like think through things. Um and you so and you can't escape that. You are out on your own. Hopefully, you don't have cell service where you're trying to text somebody when you have a thought. Just stop using your cell phone for that. Um, use it if you're if you if you need it. Uh but like and stop thinking like you need someone else to fix things always. Again, sometimes some things don't need fix, and sometimes you need to figure it out on your own, but those solo run reps are gonna help you be able to sit in the discomfort without escaping it and without thinking, hey, I need to go to somebody to fix this. Again, sometimes there's not a fix, sometimes you can fix it yourself, and maybe you eventually do need to go to somebody, don't get me wrong, but the solo reps do help. And if you're thinking, like, if you're that person number two, that one is saying, like, I'm running this one alone, that's a boundary right there. You have set a boundary, it can transfer to everything else, right? Boundaries are very important. I am working on those too. Yes, with an embodiment coach. Hi, Kate. Um, she's amazing. Uh, Stability in Motion is her company. I am actually going to link her in the show notes. She is amazing. Um, but like it does, like you just saying, I'm running this one alone, you don't even have to give an excuse. I think that's what a lot of times, especially us women, will do, is we have to like have some kind of story or something. And I do understand that because I tend to not want to disappoint people. I'm a people pleaser and it's very difficult. But being able to set that boundary of, hey, I'm running this one alone, that's it. That's all I gotta say. If you have friends who pressure you, and they will, I know I have friends who do it too, so this is not me saying they shouldn't be your friends. Um, but I'm running alone, and that's it. And just go do it by yourself, even if they pressure you. Hopefully they eventually stop, and that might be a conversation to have with your friend who, if somebody who does that to you a lot. But again, that can help you set other boundaries you need in life or at work or whatever you need them for. Um, I used to struggle to say no a lot. I still struggle with it sometimes. I also struggle with saying yes still to things I shouldn't say yes to. But again, like the the the running solo, those reps saying those things, saying I'm gonna run alone today, that is a that is working on boundaries, and that is so important, especially for women who are people pleasers and perfectionists, and all of that. And I'm not saying a men can't, a man can't do this, but I am a woman and I know what it's like to be a woman, and I know we are taught to be people pleasers and perfectionists. So this is one way to work on those boundaries. Um, for person number three, right? Three is the pressure that I just talked about. Um, letting someone be alone is a skill too. Um, a decline invite is not a rejection of you. So why am I bringing this person up when I'm talking about solo runs? Well, more than likely the pressure is always or almost always running with somebody else or a group of people, right? So being so first of all, letting someone who said, Hey, I want to run alone, I'm running alone, just leaving it at that and not trying to invite them again, or at least again, like for that run, right? You might invite them a week or two later too, of course. But like letting them be alone, because but a lot of times what this person three will feel as as the pressure, especially if they already have a group going, which means they they already feel like they're safe because they have a group, they feel it's a rejection. Um, and that is something it's not a rejection of you at all. That declined invite is for say that person two wants to run alone, they just want to run alone. It's nothing against you. I mean, it could be, don't get me wrong. I don't know who's listening, but like for the most part, it is just a person who wants to run alone. So don't take it as a rejection. Stop pressuring people. And also, if you're always running with somebody as person three, figure out like what you need to do to be able to run alone, which is what the next section is on. Yay! Um, so many times uh the reason we never run alone, it's it isn't scheduling, it's fear, and that is real. Like that is so real. Um running solo can feel very scary. Um, I know there are times I will actually start a run, especially as the uh fall gets closer and closer, our morning hours are darker, so I'm in a headlamp more, or even I will feel my adrenaline kind of pick up just a little bit at the beginning and my breathing's a little unsettled. So fear is normal when it comes to this. Um in my in my opinion, and what research shows um is that the roads themselves are more dangerous than the actual trails in terms of people, especially. Um so if you are nervous about people, whether it be a car hitting you, whether it but be somebody um that could assault you, whether it be somebody who just like hurt you, whatever it is, like those are very valid and those are more than likely, or more likely, not more sorry, more likely to happen on the road in a in a public space rather than the trail. So not saying that to invalidate your fear fears, but that is out there. Like if you want to look at the research, you can, um, but that is like how it is too. So when I ha what's what's crazy to me is I have talked to many trawners, not just athletes but friends, who are more likely to run on the road alone than on the trail alone. The trail seems more more scary. I mean, it'd be for I think it's more for animals. That's what I'm because normally when I ask them, like, hey, why? And they're like animals, and I'm like, okay, it's valid. Um, but at the same time, when you look at risk, the risk on the trail is, oh, I'm gonna hit toe tap and I'm gonna fall and I might have to get stitches. You know, like those kinds of things. Because trail running is a different kind of hard than what roadrunning is. Um, so road running is definitely one though that has uh more risk in terms of uh what we women tend to fear. So now think about like that being like a white woman, like there's fear, and then like even more so as a non-white woman, right? That risk calculation is different, and pretending otherwise would be a coaching malpractice, in my opinion. So keep it in mind, like it is it is valid, it is normal um to feel that way, and then also more so as like as non-white women, they actually experience a lot more danger and threats and a lot more discomfort. Um because, well, we're the the running endurance community is a white community. So just throwing that out there just so you know. Um, but and this is not just a get over it type of like here's how you actually do this. This is your fear is legitimate, and there are ways to run solo that do honor that fear. Okay. So it's gonna take a minute if you are very fearful of running alone, uh, especially if you're fearful of like just running in new places. So say you run solo all the time at a certain place and you really want to go to a different mountain, um, or you go on vacation, you're the only one there who runs, right? So there can be nervousness with that too. Um, but for the nervous ones or the fear fearful ones, like let's work on like making that solo. So, how do you do that? How can you make yourself more comfortable? I feel like a lot of these are fairly simple ones, but also normally simple is better. So when you think about like if you're one of the nervous ones or one of the fearful ones, like share your live location with someone, tell them the route and the window, and and let them know when you're done afterwards. That's always a good, like, great starting point. There is so much technology out there where you can save that location. Um, and you know what, I feel like sometimes I remember when I first started trail running alone and I was like, I'm gonna tell this person my route, and they have no idea what that route means, right? But if you tell that to them and you share your location and you let them know like the approximate window you're gonna be there, if they haven't heard from you, they're at least gonna be like, oh my gosh, this person had a run at the white tanks on uh they said they were doing the mesquite loop. I have no idea what that means, but that's where they said they were going, right? So at least you have that information and somebody has it. So if something does go awry, even if it's more like you fell and tripped and you sprained your ankle and you just can't get back quickly and you don't have very good sales service, at least someone knows where you're at and when you are going to be done. Um, choose your conditions. What do I mean by that? So I think you know right now it's summer here. It's summer in uh the United States, and it is very hot in Arizona. So we are not typically running a whole bunch um like later in the day. Uh sometimes our long runs will go into the daylight, of course. Well, normally they will. But um, what I mean by choosing your conditions is like, hey, like if running with a headlamp is gonna make you even more nervous, like pick daylight. Pick populated trails, uh, pick routes you have you know, um, and busy your trailheads. That's a great starting point. Now, the whole goal of starting there would be eventually to try some different trails, like and and go to places that maybe aren't as well traveled. I went to a trailhead I had only found in research I went by myself for the first time in the spring, and it felt actually really, really good to do that, but I would not have been able to do that day one. Like it was doing all of these other littler, smaller changes to get me out there. So again, if you're uncomfortable running in a headlamp, and I don't know if too many of you are ever comfortable running in a headlamp, uh, but like daylight, populated trails, routes you know, busier trailheads, do that, right? Because you're you're still out there solo, but there's still some people out there um that you will see that can that can give you that that that feeling of at least a little bit of safety. Uh if you run with music or podcast or whatever, again, I actually wouldn't mind if people would run solo without music or or podcast at times. I think it's really good to sit uh with what thoughts you're having, with those voices in your head, and music and podcasts don't always allow for that. But if you do run with music, one earbud out for sure, or using those bone conductor ones, the um shocks, uh is totally fine, but you want to be aware, right? You want to be able to hear animals, you want to be able to hear other people. Um, not because people on the trails are there to attack you, but because like if they come around a corner and you run into them, it's kind of like, ah, it's scary. Um you can hear mountain bikes. Uh, but it is so you can hear things. Um again, like, and here's the deal, people can run their own run. So if you listen to music all the time, don't let me like take that away from you. If that's what gets you out and moving and running and happy, do not let somebody like me say, hey, no music at all. I do want you to not have your music turned up super loud um and have those, like I said, those shocks, um, headphones or one ear button so you can actually hear what's happening. Um, that's just safety in general, right? So don't let me take that away from you. That is something that actually does get you out the door. But if you are getting more and more comfortable or um if you're feeling like less and less fear, I do encourage you, hey, let's try some no music, no podcast, no anything. Um that way you can actually sit and feel that quietness and actually really feel those voices and hear those voices. So, no, I'm not crazy, but we all hear voices. Um and start with something short and easy in solo. A familiar route. Again, nothing brave. Um, although I think it's brave if you're scared and you go out there and do it. But don't try try some hero run. Don't try a long run for a solo. Do do whatever your shortest run is that week and go do it on a familiar trail. All by yourself. Expect to feel weird. Weird is not wrong. I think some of us when we're like, oh, I feel weird, ugh, I feel this way, I feel ugh, like our first thought is this is wrong. That doesn't make it wrong, it makes it new, it makes it uncomfortable. So keep doing it for a few weeks. Even if it's one short run for like two weeks, and then and then two for another two weeks, it's two short runs. Whatever that is, like make these small changes. Um atomic habit, some of that book's really good, some of it's kind of meh, but like one thing that I agree with, and I think the power of habit also teaches this too, is small changes. So do these small things. Um do it on your terms. All right, don't worry about what somebody else is doing. Um, do this on your terms. And if you need some accountability and just be like, hey, I want to do this, say you have a friend you've always run with. Tell this friend, be like, I need to, for the next two weeks, I want to do my Tuesday run by myself on this trail, right? And there's no problem having an accountability buddy for that, right? Be like, hey, I'm not meeting you, I need to do this on my own. And hopefully they understand that. But it is helps, it does help grow. Like that's gonna help you grow in life and in running. So doing it scared, doing it safely on your terms, that's its own kind of training for real. So facing that fear out there builds something you carry everywhere. So again, like take small steps though, small things. It's okay for it to take a little bit, because it is gonna be feel weird for a little while. And just remember, like, a solo run isn't running without support. Like, it's really the same as like as as you know, training for for anything. Like when you're doing hill repeats, right? You're going back and forth, back and forth, and like maybe you're not running with anybody in that moment, but it's not like there was no support getting you to that hill. Or like, you know, when when you go home, like somebody might ask you about your run, right? So don't think about solo running as like, I have nobody, there's nobody supporting me. Ah think of it more as just like, man, I'm I'm learning a skill here. Like, I'm learning a skill. Um, and I do have different kinds of support. They're just not right in my face or right up my ass when I run all the time, right? It's different. So, alright, so that was for that nervous, fearful one. That was kind of the long one, because I feel like that most people who are not running solo at all, it is more out of nervousness and fear. And again, that is valid, but let's figure out a way to work through that. Alright, so for that, for that closeted solo lover, the one who really already loves to run slow, practice saying one sentence, whatever that sentence need to be. I'm keeping this one solo, I'll catch you in a week. I'm keeping this one solo. I'm running this one alone. No excuse, no apology. That's it. You don't there's no need to apologize. There's no need to make an excuse. And if you want to, if you're like, hey, I just really enjoy running solo for the most part, and I'm gonna keep these runs solo always, and then like this one I'll pro I will normally run with somebody. That's cool. That's that boundary setting. Um, it protects your workouts and it protects your solo runs, right? So again, part of the reason that I'm calling it a closeted solo lover just because they don't want to like rock the boat too much, but it helps set that boundary and it helps people know that's what you want to do. If a friend is not your friend anymore because you tell them you want to run solo for the most part, then they're not really a friend, okay? So try not to worry about that too much and just be clear on what you want to do. And if they ask why and you're comfortable saying why, like, more than more than the why is just like I just like to run solo and run at my own pace, run at my own effort without worrying about anybody else. And I like how my brain works out there. For me, it's a huge stress reliever out there. So, so protect your workouts, protect your solo runs. That's what you do for yourself. For the pressure, right? The one I mentioned earlier. Um, the one the one who doesn't likes to invite, invite, invite, invite, and be like, hey, this so so-and-so is gonna be here. Hey, look what we're doing afterwards. Hey, like all this. For that person who, if you're the pressure, invite once and let it go. Stop asking multiple times for one run. I'm not saying don't ask somebody again, right? I'm even a person who runs with people sometimes. Like, I like to be asked, I just don't like to be pressured. So avoid that pressure. Uh normalize asking. Want company or want it solo? Uh my friend Courtney, she's she's done that with me before because she has realized my personality. She goes, Hey, like, are you running anywhere along Saturday? She's like, and she'll be like, Do you want company or you want solo? Like, like she she because she knows. And that's is such a polite way to show, hey, I'd love to run with you, but I also understand that you're a person who likes to run solo too and might need that time. So normalize that. And if someone tells you they're scared to run alone, that's a moment for support and not a recruiting opportunity too. Just keep that in mind. So don't constantly pressure somebody to run with you. And if they're scared to run alone, though, don't be like, oh my god, this is my time to latch on, and then I can run with them all the time. Because that's not the whole point of it either, right? Like, we want you solo running if you can. Like, we want everybody to try it out. So, um, and again, there are people who may run with a group every single run, and that is their thing, and I'm not gonna stop somebody from doing that um who I don't coach. I am not that person. I am like, dude, some of us go out to run because we need to chat, because that is our one time that we are not a spouse, a mom, an employee, whatever it is, like this is our our time. So, like, this is not it, this is not me trying to diss anybody. I'm just saying if you have your own goals, you have a race you want to do, there are certain things that you have lined up, and if you are paying a coach too in that same time, you gotta run some of those things solo. And I will always encourage my athletes and my friends to do some things solo because I think it's very important for running and very important for life. So hopefully that helps. But let's think about like we talked about like why those solo miles really do matter, the type of people like that the the the four different type of people that are that are runners um and how they think, uh, why it also matters to in life, like how that it's a skill set that does help being able to do things solo and being able to sit with those those voices in your head and all of those thoughts. And then how to actually do it, which is really making some small um changes, like, and then continuing to build on those small changes. That's like everything in life, right? So, um, you're gonna be out there though, and you're gonna hear those voices. Sometimes they're gonna say it's too hard, it's too sleep, you're too slow, it's too hot. They don't go away. Not at mile five, not at mile 250. Like, you don't beat them, you just get to know them. Uh, and the only place you get to know them is alone, out there with nobody to drown them out. So I am gonna give you a little homework, which is not normal for me, but if you've never run solo, do run the one r one run this week. Solo, just you. Short, easy, familiar. Um, if you secretly love running alone, even if it's not a secret anymore, tell one person the truth this were this week with no excuse, no apology. I just need to do this one solo. That's all you gotta say. And if you're the one always dragging people out the door with you this week, let somebody off the hook. The trail will teach you if you let it get quiet enough to hear. Alright, y'all, thank you so much for being here and spending time with me. If you love this episode, make sure you download it, follow the show, leave a rating or review um on the app you're listening to, share with the trail friend. It does help this podcast reach more people like you. Now, go move your body, drink some water, stretch your calves, and if you're listening while running, loosen your shoulders. You're welcome. Good effort, positive attitude.