The Call To Relationship - (Getting Back To The Garden)

What if the very habits that make your faith look strong are the ones keeping you from real connection with God? We open up a candid, practical conversation about the quiet war between religion and relationship—and why the difference can change everything from your peace of mind to the way you love people at home and at work.

We start by exposing the limits of ritual: how checklists promise certainty but can leave the soul empty when pressure hits. A stark real-world image—a tower raised on a compromised foundation—sets the stage for the spiritual teardown many of us avoid. From there, we press into core themes: intimacy over performance, grace over guilt, and a living friendship with God that reshapes motives, rhythms, and choices. Along the way, we unpack the rich young ruler’s unfilled life, the trap of spiritual busyness, and the subtle ways performance creeps into church, family, and creative work.

You’ll hear concrete steps for shifting from routine to relationship: surrendering control, practicing unhurried prayer that listens as much as it speaks, reading scripture for encounter rather than ammunition, sitting in silence to let God rewrite anxious stories, and rooting yourself in honest community that values fruit over flash. We frame these practices as doors to walk through, not grades to earn. By the end, you’ll have a roadmap to rebuild on grace—less frantic effort, more steady joy, and a faith that carries weight when life gets heavy.

If this resonates, share it with someone who’s tired of doing more and feeling less. Subscribe at Apple Podcasts and leave a five-star review here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/they-call-me-mista-yu/id1535535535

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Chapters

• 0:36 Welcome And Big Idea
• 2:12 Religion Versus Relationship Defined
• 3:37 Tearing Down Faulty Foundations
• 4:15 The Surfside Condo Cautionary Tale
• 7:49 Ritual’s Trap And Its Costs
• 9:28 Intimacy Over Checklists
• 11:06 Comfort Versus Growth In Faith
• 12:07 Representing God In Daily Life
• 15:13 Friends Of God, Not Servants
• 17:04 Grace Fuels Transformation
• 21:28 Performance Mindset Versus Presence
• 24:04 How To Shift: Surrender Control
• 24:54 The Rich Young Ruler’s Void
• 25:53 Practices For Real Connection
• 26:49 Why Community Matters
• 27:59 Returning To Eden’s Relationship
• 28:54 Calls To Engage And Next Steps

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:35

Welcome back to the Inspiration Station and your everyday edge podcast. I'm your host, Mr. You. Thanks again for joining us. I don't know where you are and what you're dealing with, but I'm grateful that you're here taking a chance to or taking a chance on me to listen to something that could be inspirational and potentially life-changing for you. So thanks again for jumping in. Definitely appreciate this time with you today. I was uh pondering uh this particular topic. Uh I guess it kind of just sparked what the episode is gonna be about today, but I all it's been probably over 20 years for sure, maybe even longer, where I've just had this visual tug of war with these two entities. One is religion, and the other is relationship, and I would always see them in some kind of power struggle, it could be in a boxing ring or on some kind of playing field or on an inner arena, religion versus relationship. And I really believe this with all my heart that this battle has eternal consequences. There are people around us, perhaps around you, that feel like they can get by with doing certain things and not doing certain things, God still gonna let them into the pearly gates and it's all good. But I I want I want to I want to go deeper than that because I believe that there's something a lot deeper than that at play here. Is your faith built on ritual or is it built on authentic relationship? One of the things that I know is a challenge for many of us is the idea of taking something that we've already built, finding out that we built it wrong, and then tearing it all down. See, I know that most people would never do that. I know most people would try to gloss over the fact that this hasn't been built right, so if I do enough good in the rest of this building, just perhaps God may be okay with it, and maybe God will just kind of just ignore all the other stuff that I did out of disobedience. I'm being facetious a little bit, but part of that is not because there are things that we have built. Search yourself and ask yourself these questions in regards to this. It doesn't have to be a ministry or organization, it could be a lifestyle that you built, it could be a career that you built. Any of those things apply, plus you can fill in the blanks. But are you willing, thinking about this in the light of what you have built personally? Those that are listening to this show today, are you willing to tear down what you built for years because it wasn't built right? I want to share a story. I shared this on many platforms, I even shared it on this one live and literal platforms and social platforms like this one. And I shared this story, and you can Google this and look it up, but it was always impactful to me. There is a situation in Miami many years ago, I forgot how many years ago it was, but you can when I say this next keyword, you can Google it and you can find it's pretty easy. Surfside condominiums. Now I don't know currently what's taking place with that, but the story resonates with me based on the times that I uh uh kind of experienced in in that time frame. And it was it was significant. It was powerful. It was powerful only because I really feel like it had a big lesson in it. But the the moral of the short part of the story is that the surf side commendance condominiums, one of the biggest ones in Miami. Massive, massive luxury condominiums. The short part of the story is this they actually had they they built this thing so high. It was massive. But the point was that they had foundational issues, and they did not tell anybody about it. So they built this condominium sky high, all this weight, all these floors, massive luxury condominium. But in the beginning stages of it, before it was built to the height that it is right now, they knew, they had foreknowledge of foundational issues, but they still kept on building. Now, people can talk about greed and money and all kinds of motivations, which I'm sure played a part in a lot of that stuff. And even years later, there were reports that they were in boardrooms arguing back and forth with each other about what to do next. Should we tear the whole condo down and rebuild it or leave it the way it is? And they had arguments about this stuff not for a few weeks, not even for a matter of months. They had these arguments for years in closed-off boardrooms, arguing about what they should do with this building that they know has structural issues. Now, Miami is a place that you know they have storms that come to that's Florida now. Storms come off of the water and it can be devastating. This is the kind of stuff that happens in this area. Now you can check out the whole story for yourself and see what's happened since then and all those things. But the point I want to make to you about this is that they knew before the building was finished that there was issues that could be potentially compromising, and they didn't do anything about it. And there were some situations that happened. I want you to check out the story for yourself. I don't make a show about the entire story. I want you to check it out for yourself. Surfside condominiums in Miami. Check it out. You see what I'm talking about. What happened to the people? You're gonna hear what happened to the people that lived in these condos that had no idea they had an issue because nobody told them that. Only the builders and developers knew about it, but they kept it under wraps and they argued it behind closed doors amongst themselves, while the people who were living their lives in this place pay a cost. I want you to check it out for yourself. Surfside condominiums in Florida. Check it out, okay? But I brought that story up for a very important reason because religion and relationship are not the same, and one of them is a strong foundation, the other one is detrimental. Anytime that you build something out of a ritual, you always end up on the losing end of it. I don't care what it is and where you are, you always end up on the losing end of it. Wow. This is crazy. I can think of so many situations and scenarios that I can describe, but I don't know which ones are good for me to talk about here over the air. Religion says do more. Relationship says come closer. People who I know who are very religious, they check all the boxes, they do all of the do all the do's they do, and all the don'ts, they don't do it. They they got that stuff covered. But from a place of intimacy with God, relationship with God, they don't have it. Let me use an example for those of you who may not be biblically inclined. I'm not leaving you out because this is still a message in this for you. Let me put it this way, because I know that uh Valentine's Day is coming up for and a lot of people get involved in that. I personally do not, but many of you may do that. Think about your spouse. What would you say if every year they kind of get they gave you the same thing? Every single Valentine's Day, they gave you the same thing. For your birthday, they gave you the same gift. It's uh practical, you probably need it, but it's the same one every year. How would you feel about that on the other side as the receiver? Don't lie to me today, because I know you wouldn't like that. I don't think you'd appreciate it, even though it came from perhaps a good place. You wouldn't appreciate it. Because it doesn't, the decisions that that person made to give you those gifts, it didn't change with the relationship. As you evolved, they didn't evolve with you, they stayed in the same place they were, doing the same things. When Jesus came face to face with the Pharisees, the religious leaders of his time, he gave them a harsh scolding, for lack of a better word. He vilified them. Why? Because they lived in the land of ritual, they lived in a place of religion, they didn't evolve in relationship with God, they didn't change and grow with him. As God moved, they didn't move with him, they stayed where they wanted to be in the comfort of ritual, in the comfort of religion, and they didn't evolve. And that's why Jesus laid waste to them verbally because they didn't evolve, they didn't grow as they're supposed to spiritually. If that spouse puts you the same thing all the time, even though you know, you know that the things that you need and you're growing as a person, you're changing your mind about what you like and what you don't like anymore, and you're evolving as a person as you should. But that other person is not hearing you, and they're giving you the same thing they feel comfortable giving you because it's less work on them, they don't have to do too much, they don't have to grow but so far, they can keep it simple, and they can always fall on that old phrase, you know, uh, it's the thought that counts, and they can kind of hang out there. That's what religion does. We stay in a place that we are comfortable with, we show up on Sunday mornings or Wednesday nights or whatever, and do the normal thing that we always do, and we don't go any further than that. We walk out of that building in our households. Nothing changes. We're not evolving, we're not growing, we're not reading differently, we're not studying differently, we're not listening differently, we're not praying differently, we're not fasting differently, we're not doing anything different. Everything is exactly the same, and you want to know why God's not blessing this. You want to know why you're not hearing from God the way you want to. You want to know why you're not walking in all the prosperity that you know should be yours, and you wonder why. Because there's a battle, use that figurative boxing ring again, religion and relationship. And you're on the wrong side of that battle. You're on the religious side, you're on the ritualistic side. You're trying to do more at church, you're trying to do more in the community, you're trying to do more in the family, all up in everybody's business, trying to solve everybody's problems in the family, trying to be the glue in the family. But relationship is not being established. And I'm talking about all those things, but at the end of the day, I am really actually talking about your faith and where you are and where you're not. We have to have an authentic connection with the divine realm. That's where transformation happens, that's where intimacy happens, that's where favor happens. If you're trying to deal with rules and routines, it just brings guilt. Trust me, ask me how I know. It just brings guilt and you and shame on top of that. And you never really get to the deeper place where you are really transforming, you grow. I've mentored and counseled people for the past 20 plus years. It's been more than that now, I think. It's been 25 plus years. And I hear the same thing, and it all stems from people trying to be religious and doing the ritualistic thing. Ask them to grow outside of that and step out, and they start to quiver, they start to shake, they start to fall back because their faith is rooted in religion and it's not rooted in relationship. Please hit me with the right heart today. Christianity is not a religion. If you think that, you're probably doing it wrong. Christianity is not a religion, it's not something that man can dictate and put uh boundaries on. Christianity is essentially a relationship. It's saying I join myself with God. I align myself with God. When I walk around at the supermarket, at the movie theater, at the grocery store, I said that twice, a supermarket grocery store, same thing. At the mall, in my workplace, I represent the one that I'm aligned with. He's me and I'm him. That's relationship. When my wife goes out and runs errands or goes and does ministry work, she represents me. She represents me. And for me, that that's a that's that's a badge of honor, but it has a responsibility and obligation with it. You can't go out there acting fool and start punching people. You represent, you're bringing drama to my house. So for all you young folks that are living with your parents still, think about that. You represent them. Is that who you want people to think you are associated with? Do you want them to think about your parents in that light? Think about that because all you guys are out here in places and areas of influence and circles of influence, and guess what? You represent the king. How's that looking right now? Would he be pleased with what he sees when he looks at you? Would what you do screen personal connection with God through Jesus Christ? Would it show intimacy? Would it speak of spiritual growth and transformation? Or would it just be this person's always faithful? He's always here, he's always opening the doors and locking the doors. He's faithful, ritualistic, religious. Faithfulness is not religious. But if that's all there is, faithful works, faithful routines, faithful rules, then that's all it is. It's religious. John 15 and 15 says, I no longer call you servants, I call you friends. That's deeper. Can you catch that? The servant part, there's only a limit. And and Jesus even spoke this in a different part of the scripture. That with when we come to servitude, you don't know all that the master's doing. But when you become a friend, you know everything that the master is doing. You are privy to everything, you are interconnected, and that's what God is calling for. Friendship, relationship. He wants that with you. I know this is gonna go over a lot of folks' heads, and I know good and well we're not gonna solve that problem, that particular problem in this episode today. I know it's not gonna happen. So forgive me, we'll get into it. If you want to talk to me offline, ask me some questions, message me, DM me, whatever it is. I'm totally open to that. Put it in the comment section of the Apple Podcast, however you want to do it. I'm definitely cool with answering those questions. But just understand this part though. Understand this truth from my perspective. God wants to have a relationship with you. He's not a God that gets angry at you and throws lightning bolts. That's not real. That's not the God of the Bible. He wants to have a relationship with you. Does he care if you pray? Yes. But he doesn't condemn you if you miss a prayer day. If you don't get up at 3 o'clock on that one morning, he doesn't condemn you for that. Should you tithe? Should you serve? All those things he cares about, but he doesn't condemn you because he loves you. It's not obedience driven by guilt. It's a transformation that's fueled by grace. I'm gonna say it again for those in the back, you can put that in the comment section as well. It's not obedience driven by guilt. It's about transformation fueled by grace. I know several people who might be listeners, friends of mine, feel burned out because they feel like they're trying to earn God's love. And I'm like, that's the wrong motive. There's nothing you can do to earn it because everything that has been a cost and a consequence has been paid. You can't earn it. All you can do is just enjoy the fruits of the relationship, but you gotta enter into it first. AW Toza had this awesome quote. He said, The greatest enemy of Christianity may be religion. Oh my god. That's incredible. Ask yourself this question. Let this be kind of your takeaway for today. What was a turning point for you personally when you realized that God's love wasn't conditional? Drop that in the comment section, whether you find in this episode, whether it be on social media or on Apple Podcasts, or if you're listening to our show, they have a comment section there. Drop that answer in there. I want to hear this from you guys. I'm really interested in this. What was the turning point for you when you realized that God's love wasn't conditional? In my personal experience, that's all I'm sharing from today on this episode. I believe that God desires intimacy and not performance. As somebody who has been who spent some years in the music business, if you are if you watch and listen to our show at all, you know you've heard some of the stories. I've shared quite a bit of them, probably more than I should have. But I've been in that world for a while. So a lot of the big names you hear that are going through troubles and traumas and and all kinds of things, I I I was familiar with these people. We cross circles and paths a time. Or two. I wasn't doing what they were doing. I wasn't at nobody's parties. Don't get me wrong. But we cross paths professionally. Okay? And I understand the power of performance. But now, I mean, you guys have been on my YouTube, you've seen uh some of the videos and some things from our church, and even from previous churches where I've ministered and song. You can you can find that kind of stuff, which is crazy to see it now. But I'm very careful about avoiding the performance trap. What I do in my secret closet, that's what I bring to the platform, whether I'm singing, teaching, or whatever it is. And I believe that pleases God because performance doesn't. Performance just tries to open the door for you to be lifted or you to be exalted. And that's really not where things should be. It's really not where you should be. So I want to encourage you with a few things before we close the episode out today. So one thing I know this is gonna be a hard one for you. Some of you may hear that what I'm gonna say and say, Oh, that's not me, I don't do that. Let's just pretend that you do, okay? Take the advice anyway. Surrender control. Put that in the comment sections or hashtag it if you want to. Surrender control. Stop trying to earn grace, surrender control, stop trying to earn favor, surrender control. You want to know how to shift from religion to relationship? Surrender control. It's not about the things you do, it's about relationship. You know how we know this? Read the story of the rich young ruler. If you don't have a Bible, you don't know how to navigate the Bible that well, it's totally fine. Google the rich young ruler and the Bible, and you'll see the passage come up for you. He did all the right things in life. Everything that you probably are doing, all the right moral responsibilities. Don't kill, don't steal, don't cover that neighbor's wife, that kind of thing. He did all that stuff since he was a little kid. So why was he chasing Jesus down here in these streets? Why was he still searching? Because that there was still a void that wasn't filled. That's proof. If you need any more proof that religion can't match up against relationships, use that as your basis. The rich young ruler in the Bible. Look it up, Google that, and I guarantee you, you'll see the answer that I'm talking about today. He did all the right moral things in life, and he still had a void, and he didn't know why it was so empty, why he felt so empty in life. And Jesus answered it by saying, Give up all of your stuff and follow me. And you have peace. You have that contentment, that void to be filled. But he wouldn't surrender control. So he walked away very sorrowful because he had many things. He wouldn't surrender control. Next thing, spend time with God. Spend time in prayer. If you don't know how there's people who can teach you how to make this transition, I'm somebody that can help you. If you trust me with that, I can help you with this. Spend time in scripture, spend time in authentic, quiet and deal with some stuff. Deal with them thoughts that ain't right. I can help with that. That sounds complex on the surface if you don't know anything about God or spiritual things. So I'm willing to have the conversation with you offline if you'd like to, just to protect your safety, protect your identity, that kind of stuff. Message me privately. Happy to have that conversation with you if you are open to it. And lastly, join community. That's going to be how we're going to end the show today because community is a big part of this. Religion versus relationship. That's the battle that we're fighting. But community is such a big part of the winning side of this. Because a lot of folks that I know, they seek relationships that don't have authenticity in it. They may be honest and they may even be really basic and simple, but they don't have authenticity for what they need in life. But they run to it because it provides comfort. It's a temporary salve for whatever they go in, whatever they're going through. But God's not inviting you into some kind of system or organization. He's inviting you to come face to face with a savior who loves you for who you are, despite all the stuff that you've done in life. He's inviting you into a place of relationship. He didn't come to start a religion or a movement. The spiritual leaders of Jesus' time thought that. That's why they rejected him. Because they thought he was coming to bring a new religion. To come and overthrow the Roman Empire and bring in a new religion. To be their king, but he came to bring relationship and bring you back to the place where we started. Even I would say the Garden of Eden. The relationship. Adam walked throughout the garden day after day talking with God, communion with God. Sounds crazy to some of you in modern times, but that's what was happening. God wanted relationship with us, and he still wants that today. And that's why everything that's happened in scripture from Genesis to Revelation brings us to this now. Because he wants relationship with us, he wants relationship with you. So today, your call to action is to send me a message. If you want to have a conversation about this, send me a message. If you don't want to have a conversation, give us a subscribe on Apple Podcast. Drop some love and a Firestar review in the comment section. Let us know this resonates with you. Share your story if you want to, so that others might be blessed. But here's one last coaching point for Mr. U today. Stop trying to build your own empire. Just stop it. Stop building walls and building doors and start building bridges. Wherever you are and how you're listening to the Inspiration Station and the Everyday Edge Podcast, I'm Mr. U. So grateful to be here with you. Thanks for watching and listening. Drop us a five star review in Apple Podcast. Subscribe on our YouTube channel. Show some love. Have a great day.