Ep.14: Tenacious Folk w/Jake Polin

Comedy is a mirror and a map, MO’s long conversation with stand-up comic Jake Poland traces both. They start with the personal—the tired voice after a great talk, the open mic nights in St. Pete and Tampa, the strange little signs that push you back on stage—and quickly find the bigger story: comedy as a daily reset. Jake insists the craft restarts every day. Yesterday’s kill doesn’t pay today’s dues, and last week’s applause won’t help if you coast. That tension creates a practice built on honesty and perseverance. It also exposes the real cost of choosing art over certainty: sleep debt, shifting friendships, quiet finances, and the unglamorous grind between laughter and silence.

What keeps someone in it? @IamJakePolin leans on a sports engine. He grew up on baseball where a .300 hitter is legendary even though seven of ten at-bats end in failure. That framing transforms a bomb into feedback rather than fate. He records sets, listens back in the car, and lets the tape tell the truth. He writes by riffing: outline a premise, talk it out on stage, find the sweet spots, cut the dead air, then tighten until the idea is both unique and relatable. He avoids fleeting references, reaching for material that will still hit in ten years. There’s a purist streak in him—less posting, more building—because the goal isn’t to be seen; it’s to be undeniable when you are.

By the end, the throughline is clear. Comedy is not an escape from life; it is a way to live it more honestly. You show up, you reset, you fail, you cut, you try again. Respect follows rigor. Money follows momentum. And if you hold your nerve through the quiet seasons, the work becomes its own reward—rich not in cash today, but in truth you can spend tomorrow.

If you’re chasing a craft, or trying to hold your nerve through a quiet season, this one’s for you. Press play to hear how the comedy reset builds a life, why respect might be the best metric of success, and how to keep your humor when the world asks for certainty. If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review.

What’s your version of “made it,” and what keeps you going if no one’s watching?

Instagram: @tiam.podcast & @joyscout.mo

For Guest Inquiries, collaborations, and questions:

Email Mo: mo@joyscoutstudio.com

“Don’t get Deterred, get Inspired”

Chapters

• 0:00 Host Intro And Why Jake Matters
• 3:44 Warmups, Tongue Tricks, First Big Laughs
• 8:39 Signs To Go Onstage And Early Wins
• 12:26 Comedy As Daily Reset And Progress
• 18:34 Parents, Taste, And Writing Jokes That Last
• 25:20 Perseverance, Shortcuts, And The Long Game
• 31:22 Baseball Mindset And Handling Bombs
• 37:06 Process: Riffing, Recording, And Cutting
• 42:00 Freedom Over Corporate And Life With No Map
• 48:18 Recognition, Scene Roots, And Staying Local
• 53:40 Leaving Mortgage Work For The Mic
• 58:26 Love, Security, And Roles In Relationships
• 1:07:20 Phones, Expectations, And Trust Erosion
• 1:14:12 Honesty, Emotional Safety, And Boundaries
• 1:21:40 Cliches, Social Media, And Real Risk
• 1:28:05 Purism In Craft And Posting Less
• 1:32:40 Coffee Opinions, Words, And Time
• 1:39:20 Age, Birthdays, And Celebrating The Journey
• 1:45:18 Merit, Money, And Direct Charity
• 1:50:08 Black Mamba, Mantras, And Staying Positive
• 1:55:12 Roller Coasters, Respect, And Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:02

Today is a lucky day because you get to listen to a conversation that I had with a stand-up comic whose name is Jake Poland. As maybe you can you can hear in my voice is that even towards the end of our conversation, I could feel my that my my like throat was tired. I'm not gonna and that's not the best sentence I ever said out loud. But towards the end of our conversation, I could feel that my throat was scratchy and it's been uh you know quite a few days since we had this conversation and now I'm sort of reflecting on it and my my voice has shot and my throat has maybe seemed um you know, healthier afternoons for sure. I I don't know if it's a cold, it's probably a cold, but I don't know. That's my it might be uh it might be irresponsible podcasting, but sometimes you just have to show up and you have to talk about the conversation that you had that you really enjoyed. Um when I was doing uh the open mics for stand-up in the St. Pete in Tampa area, I uh saw Jake quite a few times um at the gimmick in the gimmick comedy club in Igor. And you never know what type of conversation you're gonna have with somebody like outside of the atmosphere of which in this case really the industry of comedy. And so, you know, it's been uh a couple of years, I think, since since I met him on that track, and then you know, you start following quite a few people on on Instagram, and I was excited to I was excited to talk with him. And I think the conversation is really honest and that's something that I so deeply admire about anybody who's who's willing to go and have a genuine conversation with somebody with and I think that's what we did, and we talked a lot about uh the bravery that is uh found in pursuing comedy, but also as you know, comedy is a great metaphor for life. It's just you can see things as funny or you can see them as tragic. You know, I have to think of the I often I often think of the FS being masked. And you know, if you've ever laughed so hard that you've cried, or you've ever cried so hard that you've laughed, you know, that you you find this moment of euphoria because you've released this uh this grief or the sense or or this exhilaration or whatever it is. Like it's just a circular way of being. If you keep going, you will find yourself out through the other side into uh what very physically can feel like the same emotion, but it has a different meaning. And and I think with comedy, you still use your life experiences and you gift them to an audience that is either gonna receive it and and laugh so hard, or you know, it's not gonna be your night and it and it doesn't matter because you just keep going. And a lot of creative stuff I know in any industry that they find themselves in right now, they just gotta keep going, whether or not they're getting the the validation of the laugh or the compensation or whatever it is, like when you believe so deeply in what you're doing. It doesn't matter. You just keep you keep showing up. So I hope you find this conversation as inspiring as I did. And this is Jake.

SPEAKER_01: 3:44

Is that how you do your vocal warmups before you're gonna do that?

SPEAKER_06: 3:46

No, you honestly want to hear my vocal the only vocal warm-up I do.

SPEAKER_01: 3:49

I do.

SPEAKER_06: 3:50

Abity yobbiti yabbity yabbiti yabbiti.

SPEAKER_01: 3:52

That's what you do? That's what I do.

SPEAKER_06: 3:53

Abiti. Abiti. Me and my friend used to do this.

SPEAKER_01: 3:57

Why do you do that?

SPEAKER_06: 3:58

Like, it's just we cracked up one day because I said that like a thousand times when I was like abbity yabbi yabbi yabbi. And uh it kind of works. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 4:06

I kind of like that. I try to do the it's really it's like I understand why people do it that way because it's really hard where you go. It's like yeah, yeah, yeah. You've gotta like you gotta get them moist.

SPEAKER_06: 4:18

Can you roll your tongue? Your own.

SPEAKER_01: 4:20

No. Oh yeah. Every if for my entire lifetime, that will never cease to disappoint me when someone asks me that. Can you you could probably do the tongue curl though, right? Because everybody that can roll their arms can do the tongue.

SPEAKER_06: 4:33

I can touch my nose with my tongue.

SPEAKER_01: 4:35

Oh. Yeah. Is that what you do to impress curls?

SPEAKER_06: 4:38

Yeah, I'm seven. Probably work on the playground, making buggers out of my nose. Like, employees feel great.

SPEAKER_01: 4:47

Maybe you made friends that way.

SPEAKER_06: 4:48

I probably did. I stuck a rock in my nose one time. And uh I made the nurse mad because um I couldn't get it out and I was trying to pick it out. And she was like, Have you tried blowing it out? And I was like, Oh, that's a good idea. And then I did that and just did it on the floor.

SPEAKER_01: 5:03

Did she laugh?

SPEAKER_06: 5:04

No, she was really mad. Because I just snot rocketed a rock and bookers on the floor.

SPEAKER_01: 5:08

How old were you?

SPEAKER_06: 5:09

Probably like seven.

SPEAKER_01: 5:10

Seven. Do you remember the first joke that you told that was like definitely the best laugh?

SPEAKER_06: 5:19

Uh I remember one. I don't know if it was the first. I was I definitely did a lot of jokes in the class because I was like that, but oh, in sixth grade.

SPEAKER_05: 5:27

Sixth grade.

SPEAKER_06: 5:28

Miss Snowden's class. Yeah. She was like doing a thing where it was like spelling tests and definitions, you know. And then and then the word was ancient. And uh she called on me and she was like using it in a sentence, and I was like, Miss Snowden is ancient. And the crowd class practiced.

SPEAKER_03: 5:45

Did she like it?

SPEAKER_06: 5:46

She she she did laugh. She was pretty mad, but she laughed. She was old. It was a great joke.

SPEAKER_01: 5:51

Yeah. That is a great joke. That's a really great joke. So that's like one of your core memories of it.

SPEAKER_06: 5:56

That is a memory, yeah. Because the class really erupted. I really got it.

SPEAKER_01: 6:00

Ooh, erupted.

SPEAKER_06: 6:00

Yeah, it was good. It was good for sure. I don't know. I did a lot of that. Eruption. Yeah, I erupt. I erupt. They used to call them the volcanoes.

SPEAKER_01: 6:12

Well, you have to know how to do it, I think, to make other people do it. You know, it's a responsible eruption.

SPEAKER_06: 6:17

I'm very responsible when I erupt. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 6:21

I think I was in like sixth grade actually, when I genuinely remembered making somebody. I was like, oh shit, you can just like delight someone with like a very quick passing of saying something. But it was my little brother, and we had picked him up from school because he was in elementary school. And I was in the front seat and he was behind us. And, you know, apparently my dad at the time was like packing my brother's lunches every day and writing little notes on his. It was super cute, but he never did that for me. And I and sitting there, I felt so I was like, really? And I was like, man, you know, the only thing I ever get is just blank empty napkins. And whatever the delivery was of this line, my brother like laughed so hard because it was just like he understood that I was heartbroken, really, you know, and yet it was just making fun of it in a way that made it wait palatable.

SPEAKER_06: 7:14

Now, why did you not get notes?

SPEAKER_01: 7:16

Well, I think honestly, he wasn't really home during that part of my childhood. Like he was working all the time, so my mom made delicious fucking lunches, but she didn't write jokes on her napkins either. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's kind of like my brother got jokes on his napkins. Like my dad was priming him to be funny, I feel like.

SPEAKER_06: 7:35

Then is he funny?

SPEAKER_01: 7:36

He's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_06: 7:37

Okay, so we're talking about well, you're the one who who does comedy, so I haven't done it in a while though. Well, has he never done it?

SPEAKER_01: 7:45

No.

SPEAKER_06: 7:45

Well, then he stinks. Just kidding. It's your brother.

unknown: 7:49

Kyle, you're great. Don't listen.

SPEAKER_06: 7:50

I'm kidding, Kyle.

SPEAKER_01: 7:51

Just kidding. Sometimes brothers can be a certain a certain way. Um, I have an anecdote to tell you.

SPEAKER_06: 7:59

Okay. About like anecdotes?

SPEAKER_01: 8:01

It was, I mean, I'm pretty sure it's an anecdote if I know what anecdote means. I was, I mean, you, I know, I feel like you're gonna know the story, but it was like I was on my way to the beach, and it was like a night that was gonna be open mic night at the gimmick, and I didn't know if I wanted to go just because like it was just getting, you know, I was dealing with that nervous system shakeup where I was just like, sew in my feels, you know. So I'm like driving on the road and I stop behind this like stoplight, and then I look at the fucking license plate in front of me, and it says, make them laugh. Like it's like M-K-N and then L-A-F or something, you know. So, and I was just like, Okay, all right, maybe I'll go. I go to the beach, I do the whole sun thing, I get you know, a good vitamin D dose, feel a little happy in my skin. And then on the way back, I'm driving on the two-lane boulevard, and someone is driving alongside me, and I look over and it's you, and you're just like laughing. You're like, hey, are you coming up in my tonight? I was like, I do.

SPEAKER_06: 9:05

Yeah, I guess, I guess I am.

SPEAKER_01: 9:07

Yeah. What a sign.

SPEAKER_06: 9:08

I know you were supposed to go that night.

SPEAKER_01: 9:10

Double signs. I think that was a good night too. Like that was a really good night.

SPEAKER_06: 9:13

Yeah, do you remember how your set went?

SPEAKER_01: 9:15

I remember that I felt really good about getting through what I wanted to say and not getting distracted along the way, which is something that is very easy for me to do.

SPEAKER_04: 9:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 9:26

And I think with the way that I had been going about it, that there was so much storytelling involved. And I just wasn't at that level of like quick, short doses. I think, you know, if I went back in that atmosphere, like shorter, more controllable doses of what I'm trying to say versus like I have an A and a B and a C, and I gotta get to D and the next five minutes and you know, to feel rushed along the way is not very fun.

SPEAKER_06: 9:51

So Yeah, it's hard.

SPEAKER_01: 9:52

It's really hard. It's very hard. What's your what's some of the what's the biggest lesson you think you've learned this year in your comedy career?

SPEAKER_06: 10:02

This year?

SPEAKER_01: 10:03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06: 10:05

I don't know if there's a specific lesson this year because it's all the same. It's like comedy just doesn't, it kind of restarts every day.

SPEAKER_04: 10:14

Wow.

SPEAKER_06: 10:15

You know, like you kind of have to take what you've gotten, but you just kinda have to restart every day. It's like that type of art where you can't rely on the past. Like past success or whatever. You kind of just start over every time.

SPEAKER_01: 10:33

Because it's you you have your reserves though, right? Like like things that have worked. If maybe you feel like you've skipped a beat or if you're feeling really good, or there's certain things that you kind of fall back on where you're like, no, I get to have it.

SPEAKER_06: 10:46

Yeah, you have your jokes that you know are but like relying on that doesn't progress you at all. You know? You have to like treat those as work in progress.

SPEAKER_04: 10:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 10:56

You know, it's not like I have a special coming out and I'm like doing this joke for the last time before I throw it away. You know, so it's all work in progress. You have to continue to find these things that like I truly focus on because I do stand up so much, and then there are people that see me, like, you know, more and more often now that have seen me before because they come out to shows all the time, and like you know, you really try to have new stuff for them. Yeah, you know, yeah. I don't like the feeling of doing something again for these people, and sometimes you have to, but that's that motivates me.

SPEAKER_01: 11:41

Is there a joke that you feel like is always gonna be something that you'll enjoy bringing back? Like, you know, if you saw one of your favorite comics and they were, you know, they have a joke that they do that you would love to hear, type thing in like live. Is there something for you that you would bring out, you know? Give the fans what the fans want.

SPEAKER_06: 12:00

The fans have weird opinions, by the way.

SPEAKER_01: 12:03

Do they?

SPEAKER_06: 12:04

Sometimes they'll like people will come up to me and they're like, I love that one joke about the forks. And I'm like, wow, really? That's like wow. He's like, I told my daughter about that one. I'm like, wow, that's I don't even do that one anymore. He's like, you should do it tonight. And I was like, I don't think I'm gonna do it tonight.

SPEAKER_01: 12:20

That's funny.

SPEAKER_06: 12:22

Uh yeah, maybe. I don't know. There's some there's some that I'm very, like, very happy with. Very happy with. And some that I'm like, eh.

SPEAKER_01: 12:33

What is what what gets you to happiness with it? What's the of is there boxes that have to be checked, or is it just kind of like a friend that you want to keep having around?

SPEAKER_06: 12:42

Like what is the I feel very happy when I when I know for a fact that it's a very unique uh opinion um on something very relatable to people. That's that to me is a successful joke. Or a successful thing I want to talk about. I don't like talking about things that one aren't relatable and two are just e like irrelevant.

SPEAKER_04: 13:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 13:04

Like I like to be goofy, but I also like to talk about things that in ten years will still be funny.

SPEAKER_04: 13:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 13:13

You know, like it's just a thing that everyone does. The human experience. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that that to me I feel very proud of.

SPEAKER_01: 13:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 13:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 13:23

I think that's something very much to be proud of. I remember there was a I don't know if it was overmike or it was a show. But you no, you definitely brought you invited your dad or your dad came. I remember. And I don't maybe this is a a something that happens a couple times in your experience. But I remember that your set was like particularly I mean, it was funny, of course, but also super there were some raunchy moments too. And it like landed, it was a good, it was good. And so like the the room was there, and I think everybody also loved that your dad was there. Like it was def we were all in a moment with you, but it reminded me that there are definitely times where have you regretted inviting someone to a show? Have you just been like, oh fuck, I kind of wish they're not here right now?

SPEAKER_06: 14:10

Uh, I don't really invite many people. I mean, my dad has seen me, my mom's never seen me. Um, he's the only family member that's ever seen me. I mean, I don't my family doesn't live here. So it'd be hard for them to come all the time, but um No, I don't.

SPEAKER_01: 14:28

Would your mom come?

SPEAKER_06: 14:29

Yeah, she would, but you know, they they're only here once in a while.

SPEAKER_01: 14:33

And um Would you shape your comedy to kind of I kind of shape my comedy in general for that?

SPEAKER_06: 14:41

Like I want I mean, I like I want to make comedy that I'm proud of, and I know if I'm proud of it, then they'll be proud of it.

SPEAKER_04: 14:49

Wow.

SPEAKER_06: 14:50

Like there are jokes. I've told them a bunch of jokes in person and over the phone that I do, and those are the ones that I'm like, I feel proud of.

SPEAKER_04: 14:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 14:58

Because I'm like, I know you'll laugh at this.

SPEAKER_04: 15:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 15:01

And uh yeah, if I'm writing jokes that I'm like, oh, my parents are gonna be like, oh, then that it's probably not a good joke anyway. You know, they have great sense of humor, but both of them? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 15:12

So do you think you got it from is there something that's more suited for your mom than your dad when it comes to your the way you think things are funny? You're like, oh, I got that from my mom, or I definitely got that from my dad.

SPEAKER_06: 15:24

I mean, yeah, my mom they have different comedy tastes.

SPEAKER_05: 15:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 15:28

Uh my mom doesn't like like filthy or stuff. I think my mom's favorite comedian is like Jim Caff again. And she doesn't like Pat Williams. I know that.

SPEAKER_01: 15:38

Okay, okay. Well, what about your dad?

SPEAKER_06: 15:42

My dad likes a lot of the shit.

SPEAKER_01: 15:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 15:44

He has he has they both have very good sense of humor, but she's a lady.

SPEAKER_01: 15:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 15:50

You know.

SPEAKER_01: 15:50

That's so funny. I I feel like with my mom. I definitely have some of the raunchier humor that I have. Like she wouldn't sometimes she like laughs because she she is that person. Like she has, she's a very I mean, I got my sexuality from my mom, like 100%. And so like I know there's moments where she was like, okay, like she doesn't want to laugh but she's laughing. And then moments where she just can't like help herself. And then she'll make a joke, and I'll also think it's funny because of like what we're actually saying. So I definitely appreciate that I got that from her. Whereas my dad, like, if I make him laugh, I know that I've said something that transcends because he's so deadpan, you know, like always there to help and to love, but definitely emotionally unavailable at times.

SPEAKER_06: 16:38

So yeah, my dad's real real favorite comedian is himself. That's that's a good dad quality. He never laughs harder than when he makes a joke that's funny. That he is crying laughing. He's choking.

SPEAKER_01: 16:51

Dude, he just makes fun of me a lot. That's really is that something that you find endearing? Yeah, I think it's very endearing.

SPEAKER_06: 16:56

I think it's very because it's all it's all, you know, fun. But yeah, he makes fun of me a lot.

SPEAKER_01: 17:03

Is that why you have thick skin?

SPEAKER_06: 17:05

Uh no. I have very thick skin. I don't know if I can attribute it to that. I think playing sports helped a lot.

SPEAKER_04: 17:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 17:14

I think um I think probably being like shorter helped. Um I think a lot of things. I think my my schooling.

SPEAKER_03: 17:26

Your school.

SPEAKER_06: 17:26

Like going to school in like DC. That was really big.

SPEAKER_03: 17:30

How long were you in DC for?

SPEAKER_06: 17:31

That's where I grew up.

SPEAKER_03: 17:32

I I have your whole childhood.

SPEAKER_06: 17:33

So I went to like DC public schools. I went to like like my elementary school was very white school, but then seven through twelfth was like you know, like 35% white or something like that. So, you know, I grew up with all different types of people and like learned how to like joan on people, which is like the word in DC for like being like with your big ass nose, you know, like nostrils or like double barrel shotgun, you know, like neck ass type of language.

SPEAKER_04: 18:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 18:01

So I learned how to do that. You gotta spar with the best of them. I learned how to spar. My parents gave me a lot of strong qualities. It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with your with your parents, which I would not say, you know, all comedians do uh it's very complicated, but overall, yes. I I'm I am eternally grateful for my parents. They both are very strong willed, and they both have like a hundred out of a hundred perseverance in their own ways. And I definitely inherited that. And uh I'm extremely grateful. They they pretty much gave me everything I'd ever need to be successful. Like it it's up to me at this point. Yeah. You know, like they gave me what I need.

SPEAKER_01: 18:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 18:51

And if if I don't succeed that I blame myself.

SPEAKER_01: 18:55

You seem like you've got a very level head for I mean, from what I can see as far as what your palette is for success, like how you maybe define success for yourself. It seems super genuine. Like how would how would you define success?

SPEAKER_06: 19:12

I mean, I just I genuinely just I wanna be a great stand-up comic. Like I think that I you know I know that I'm good.

SPEAKER_04: 19:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 19:23

Like I know that I know what I'm doing. That doesn't mean that it's like guaranteed, or but I I think I'm funny. I think my peers think I'm funny. And um, I just want to be great at the craft. Like, money isn't anything that really motivates me. I need money, I'm broke as a bitch. But uh But that's not what success is to me. Yeah, like the money if I make money, that means I am successful. But to me, I just want to be respected. You know what I mean? Because that if if people respect. Respect me, I know that I'm doing because I know I'm gonna do what I want to do. So if they gravitate towards that, then I know I'm I'm successful.

SPEAKER_01: 20:09

I feel like one of the things with the comedy scene that hasn't I wanna say like maybe aged well is that like, you know, 30 years ago, even like maybe 15 years ago, you could fucking have you know you could have rent, let's say, for$300 or$500, and you could be doing some in-between transitional work in order to have a place to maintain and to sleep and to fucking, you know, prosper. And then you could fucking still be hitting mics and going around and you can maybe juggle the I think the inconsistency of the nightlife and what the craft really like asks you to be and like your sleep schedule. And like, you know, I know a lot of comedians maybe aren't the healthy with with like mind and body, but I also feel like there was more time to just exist because you weren't grinding, and now like holy shit, a lot of the grind time is like spent so so far away from not just you know comedy, but any creative fucking pursuit where like you have to struggle and the sacrifice is so great right now to go after what you want. And there's it's so hard. Like, I mean, for myself myself included, where that internal fucking monologue is just like, are you succeeding? I know you're going after the things you want to go, but like fuck. Some security and and you know, a paved path would be would feel really nice, really, really nice right now.

SPEAKER_06: 21:32

Yeah. I mean, I think that's what separates people. Like, I think it's twofold. Like, that's uh above all, outside of like being funny, that's genuinely what separates people is like the ability to push through these years of like Yeah, like killing in like nowhere, in like darkness, like who cares? No one knows about this. You know, you like tell people, yeah, you're a comic, and it's like, oh well, like why don't you post your stuff, you know? It's like, well, I mean, just trying to really succeed. I'm not trying to my goal isn't to just be seen. It's like to be seen when I'm like the shit. You know?

SPEAKER_01: 22:14

I love I love that.

SPEAKER_06: 22:16

And then back to like success, it like I do want to be respected, but like success is internal. You know? Like you do have to keep that in mind because if you chase the external, like it's ever changing. Doesn't you know? Because if you keep doing what you gotta do and you're doing the right things, then hopefully it works out.

SPEAKER_01: 22:41

What do you do in moments where it just feels I guess I don't want to project too much on this question, but I think when there's moments where you are persevering, like that is just the number one skill that is required in moments where you're doing all the right things. You're definitely showing up, you're doing the thing that you said that you would do, and so, but then there's this this like now the gears are turning and the wheels are going, but now you have to maintain your track, I feel like. Where for for me, I guess one of the things I struggle with is like, okay, well now I'm doing all the things, but there's a sense of mundaness that sits in in that moment where I'm like, you just gotta keep going and wait for the next thing to like show itself and to make sense. Like, do you is that is that is that a problem for you?

SPEAKER_06: 23:28

I mean, it's not it's not much of a problem for me because I don't look at things in short-term doses.

SPEAKER_01: 23:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 23:36

You know what I mean? Like that that's a shot's fired.

SPEAKER_01: 23:40

I don't know. You said you're projecting.

SPEAKER_06: 23:42

I'm projecting on your projection. Um, no, but I'm saying, like, you know, if you look at it in the s in the short term, yeah, yeah, you're gonna get it'll get you down. I think for me, one thing that really helped me just like I played baseball. That was that was like my first love. Baseball.

SPEAKER_03: 23:59

Baseball.

SPEAKER_06: 24:00

Played baseball every day of my childhood. That's all I did. All I do now is comedy. All I did was baseball from like age four to 17.

SPEAKER_01: 24:07

Did you like where did you play?

SPEAKER_06: 24:09

Um uh I just I played like travel baseball and for you know for my schools and stuff.

SPEAKER_01: 24:14

Sorry, I meant like out on the field, but oh where I didn't know I didn't know. Like I said, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_06: 24:19

I was a second base, and I short third base, and I played and uh I could play anywhere. But baseball, yeah, very much like comedy. Baseball's a fucking itch of a game. It's like I don't know if do you know baseball well?

SPEAKER_03: 24:33

I played I played baseball.

SPEAKER_06: 24:34

Yeah, so like in if you make the Hall of Fame in baseball, you batted 300 for your career. That was your batting average. That's like a baseline. That's really good. Yeah. So that means you gotta hit three out of ten at bats.

SPEAKER_04: 24:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 24:47

So seven at bats. Oh and you're like one of the greatest players ever.

SPEAKER_01: 24:53

How does that transcribe itself to to cover the what's the batting ratio, you think?

SPEAKER_06: 24:58

Like I mean, you do want to like kill every single time, but that's not realistic.

SPEAKER_01: 25:01

Okay. So killing is essentially.

SPEAKER_06: 25:04

I mean, yeah, you want to hit a home run every time.

SPEAKER_01: 25:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 25:07

But it's not realistic.

SPEAKER_01: 25:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 25:09

You know? And um so that was something that I experienced not doing well, and then you have a game the next day. Or like you struck out the last hit bat, and then you're up again, and then you struck out three times, and then you're up in like the last inning, and you can win the game. So it's like if you spent the last whatever innings pouting, you know, then you get up with when the game matters, and you're like, oh, whatever, I'm a bitch. You learn that it's like a skill to stay strong.

SPEAKER_01: 25:40

Awesome. It's such a skill. But how do you I mean, do you have moments?

SPEAKER_06: 25:46

Of course I do. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01: 25:47

What does your moment look like?

SPEAKER_06: 25:48

My moment looks like I'm listening to like Simon and Garfunkel in the car. Like I'm listening to like the boxer.

SPEAKER_04: 25:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 25:56

And I'm like, you know, like that's that's my moment. I'm driving the car fucking sad. I'm like, damn, this song's great. Like, I'm a rock. I am an island. That's that's it. And then I get out of the car and then I go to sleep, and then the next day I'm like, all right, yeah, let's not listen to that today.

SPEAKER_04: 26:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 26:14

But like, yeah, of course I have moments.

SPEAKER_04: 26:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 26:17

You know, life is tough. I'm not, I'm not in vi I'm not invincible. My life is way more complicated than I am uh opening it up to be. But like, that's not something that I can like let dictate my my emotions. What are you gonna do? What is a man to do?

SPEAKER_01: 26:36

Yeah, what's a person to do?

SPEAKER_06: 26:38

Poor person, I apologize.

SPEAKER_01: 26:39

No, that's okay. I mean, I've never been a man, but I certainly grew up in a very masculine household. I feel like there's that that glorifying moment where if this was a film, at le at least for myself, like this is the montage scene where like you just keep fucking doing the thing. You know what I mean? Like, I just feel like the last two years have been such a montage of like a lot of repetition, hoping the next thing like connects, and just being like, this is this is this is a practice and trust and faith and and knowing what you want, and it gets clearer and clearer, but then there are definitely moments where I feel, yeah, like I could have like I love a shortcut, you know, send me a shortcut, you know? If that makes sense. Unless that's too vague, but I think it's the the path. I mean, whether it's entrepreneurship or artistry or performance, whatever, whatever the fuck it is, it's not. You don't have a hierarchy, and there's nobody saying, you know, you're gonna get a fucking bonus, and there's no one saying you're about to get a great opportunity. Like you just it just happens when it happens. There's no trajectory, you're just in it. And sometimes it feels like a fucking void, and you're like, I chose to be here.

SPEAKER_06: 27:47

It's crazy, and you have to like justify it. Yeah, and uh but that's like what I was saying about the short term, because it's like, yeah, movies in an hour and a half.

SPEAKER_01: 27:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 27:55

Like let's say five minute montage. Say we live in a hundred years.

SPEAKER_03: 27:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 27:59

You know? So it's like you're you gotta think of the movies that long. So like the payoff is uh maybe a decade of five years, like you know, it's just at a different time frame.

SPEAKER_01: 28:12

I do you ever have that conversation with like your future self? Like, I mean, I'll have one with different versions of me that I imagine are gonna take place at some point, even if it's just a fucking age, you know, like if I'm 80, 85, whatever it is, I'm just like, hey, is there anything I should be doing right now that like you know I'm not doing that you would really like that I did? Like I try to have that perspective where what is the thing that I would so be enjoying about, you know, my 35-year-old self, essentially. Like, what would well what do you want me to be doing?

SPEAKER_06: 28:43

It's a good question.

SPEAKER_01: 28:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 28:44

I don't really think that way.

SPEAKER_04: 28:46

You don't think that way?

SPEAKER_06: 28:47

I don't think that way. I think I'm very in the present. I try to be at least. That's the only successful way I've ever figured out how to be like remotely.

SPEAKER_01: 28:57

Don't you think that's kind of a warp of time though, where you're like, Time doesn't have to be a little bit more than a little bit. Well, my 85-year-old self might not exist, but I'm still trying to have a perspective moment where it's like, you know, lens after lens after lens that brings me back to this moment where it's like, yeah, be present and enjoy this part, enjoy your body, enjoy the sunlight, enjoy dancing, whatever, whatever it is. But there's a thing in yoga where we say it's it's just yoga. Like, you know, when you've been doing it for a while and you uh expect a lot of your practice and you kind of want it to go a certain way, it's like calm the fuck down, dude. It's literally just yoga. It's gonna be okay. You didn't have a great you didn't have a good practice day, but you showed up. I think that for me is like the baseball metaphor where it's just it's okay. Like you just live in your life. It doesn't, it's not all gonna be the daisies.

SPEAKER_06: 29:44

No, I mean it's all and like but here's the thing if there's no happiness without sadness.

SPEAKER_01: 29:50

What is your I mean, do you think your resting state is just groundedness, or do you have something that pushes? Because, you know, for a while for me, I would say a sadness, which is like knocking at the door, and I would so actively have to to do the right thing, have the right workout, have the right conversation that would put me in a mindset that was like, I am content, I am okay, you know. So I don't know if you have an emotion or something that's kind of your resting default.

SPEAKER_06: 30:20

I mean, I would say I don't know what my resting default is, but like I try to be as grounded as I can and just like ready for what comes my way. But yeah, I mean, we all experience these crazy emotions, you know, and it's like but that's why it's like there's no happiness without sadness because there's no good without bad. So like when the bad comes, it's not like oh shoo bad. Like you address the bad, and then on the other side, the good happens, and like vice versa, and you know, things are just so many things happen to us. It's hard to focus on what else other than the now. Like, I ain't no fucking monk. No, you know, I get I think that helps me in comedy. I'm very passionate, I'm very opinionated, I'm very like like I get I get mad, I get, you know, like yeah, things drive me for sure. I'm very competitive.

SPEAKER_01: 31:16

How has your comedy changed? How long have you been doing stand-up?

SPEAKER_06: 31:20

Um on the 28th of this month, December, it'll be three and a half years.

SPEAKER_01: 31:25

Fuck yeah. Okay, okay. How how do you think your comedy has changed?

SPEAKER_06: 31:30

It's changed a lot. I mean, I actually have some things to say. You know, when you first start, it's like you have things, I guess you have thoughts, but you don't know how to like formulate it in any like way that resonates, you know, and I've like actually built at least some material that, like I said earlier, that is like relatable. Yeah. I like talking about men and women.

SPEAKER_01: 31:54

Like relationships. I like relationships. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 31:57

Cause I think that spend a lot of time in that, you know, like thinking about that or in that and like the differences between us.

SPEAKER_04: 32:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 32:08

And um how annoyed I get. That's I mean, because I get really, really annoyed.

SPEAKER_04: 32:14

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 32:15

So that really drives me to talk about how annoying uh some women can be. So uh I like talking about that because you know, everyone experiences that on both sides. You know, wives are annoyed at their husbands and husbands are annoyed at their wives, and um what's your process?

SPEAKER_01: 32:32

Like, do you have a process? I feel like that is such a almost douchey question, but you can answer however you like, like a way when it comes to I think everyone's different.

SPEAKER_06: 32:40

Yeah. I think for me, what really works is uh I like to have premises of thoughts or like observations or experiences I have. And then I like have like an outline, but I'm not a very good like pen and paper writer.

SPEAKER_03: 32:58

Ooh, okay.

SPEAKER_06: 32:59

Like I'm very what works for me is I like to like riff it out on stage.

SPEAKER_05: 33:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 33:04

And that's how I start. I've heard comedians talk about that before, so I'm I think I might have even heard like Louie talk about it, but like I think this way.

SPEAKER_04: 33:14

This is how I think.

SPEAKER_06: 33:15

And um and that's how I talk, obviously. So I want to think the way that I would talk. Like writing, it's I'm not it's not the same like muscle for me. So I come up with the outline of it, like this is where I want it to go, and then you know, I'd rip it out and I find the sweet spots, and then over time you kind of like cut the things and figure it out. So that's that's kind of my process, I would say.

SPEAKER_01: 33:39

You know, I think that's a pretty ingenuity process. I mean, yeah, I know I feel like a lot of people have asked. I think I'm you probably have this, but like when anyone that you know that anyone that knows what you're doing as far as comedy or knows that you've like done an open mic or stand-up, like they will ask, or they'll have this something will go off in their head and they'll be excited, like I've always wanted to do that. Like it's one of the bravest things you can do when it's so scary, I think. And they immediately are just like, but I don't understand how to write a joke. And and I think every time it's just kind of like you say funny shit all the time, just start there. Like the next time you say something that was like funny, write it down. That's I think that's what I always say. It's just like just like write it fucking down. It doesn't mean you have to write it the rest of it out, just like write that one thing down and come back to it. And I I think to agree with you when it comes to something that I'm like working out, I definitely record. I definitely just record and then I see how long it goes, or like, you know, and I listen back too because I'm like, oh shit, that was like pretty funny. Or I listen back and I'm just like, how am I? I stopped listening to my own recording, you know what I mean? Like it's kind of a good judge. And like if I've zoned out my own recording, I'm like, I don't know if there's anything here.

SPEAKER_06: 34:47

No, it's best shot trapper because I remember when I first started, I would record myself and listen in the car, and I swear, like so many times I got off stage being like, I was fucking great tonight. Like let's go. And I would listen in the car, and I legitimately would be like, I could have sworn they were laughing there.

SPEAKER_03: 35:04

Oh man.

SPEAKER_06: 35:05

God damn. So it is it is important to do that. Yeah, but uh yeah, it's such a long process. Yeah. That's like the perseverance part of what separates people because people are like, they want the instant, like, oh, I don't know how to write a joke, and then they're like, Oh, like it's like no one really does when you begin.

SPEAKER_04: 35:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 35:26

Like you you maybe know how to write like a joke, but you gotta then perform it.

SPEAKER_01: 35:31

I mean, I think it's that formula you're talking about where we all want I mean, and you know, most people are pursuing career paths that are predetermined, and they need that in order to feel safe and secure. And so, like to step out of it and be like, no, like you actually make your own math here. You make your math and you find out what works, and then you write whatever it is that has to, you know, it's gonna make your fucking project fly or whatever. Like, you don't get you don't get a formula or a blueprint, you know. You just get to get inspired by people, I think.

SPEAKER_06: 36:00

That's yeah, part of the reason why I do this because like I did work shitty jobs in like corporate type of shit, you know? Like and I just don't want to do it. I genuinely never want to tuck my shirt in again. Like that motivates me. I have no interest.

SPEAKER_01: 36:15

Interesting.

SPEAKER_06: 36:16

I genuinely never want my shirt to be tucked.

SPEAKER_01: 36:18

I do. Do you feel like you identify? I'm gonna pause this one real quick. Is it getting hot in here? Because I can blast the AC for like 10 minutes. Okay. I just feel like you've got a long sleeve on and I don't fear good.

SPEAKER_05: 36:30

I'm totally fine.

SPEAKER_01: 36:32

Okay. Um, what did you just say?

SPEAKER_06: 36:38

What did I just say? What do you think it was good?

SPEAKER_01: 36:40

I can maybe just go back and corporate like Oh, corporate and not tucking a shirt in.

SPEAKER_06: 36:44

Oh yeah. That motivates me. Shit. I don't want to do that. I I like the un I like the uncertainty of uh comedy. Like as in like I like that it's not defined. I don't like structure. I hate rules. I was a bad student, you know? I hated it from the beginning. Like I never liked the authority or like getting told what to do.

SPEAKER_01: 37:06

Yeah. And um okay, is there a spot where you feel like you do like being told what to do? And you know, just embrace that how you're like, you know, whatever facet of your life. But is there some place where you're like you're fucking, you know what I mean? Like there are moments where like if you're trying to learn something where you would much rather someone just tell you how the fuck to do it, or if you're just like, back off, I learn by trying and failing.

SPEAKER_06: 37:35

I don't know if there's ever a time I like being told to do it. I fucking hate red lights. I can't stand a red light like past if it's dark outside and there's a red light and there's no people around, I fucking can't stand it.

SPEAKER_04: 37:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 37:47

It makes me so angry. That is that you just sit there and there's no one around. It's like I just have to sit here for 40 seconds just because that's what the rule is. Like, what are we talking about?

SPEAKER_01: 38:00

Have you do you ever blow them?

SPEAKER_06: 38:02

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 38:04

Do you and so I am blew?

SPEAKER_06: 38:06

It's a stop sign at that point.

SPEAKER_01: 38:07

I fucking blew when I remember I had to, it was like in college and I had to drive up to my university. It was like right before it started. It was a two-hour drive. And I was leaving, you know, my boyfriend's house at the time at like 3 a.m. and I get to the end of a street and it's a red light, and no, it's 3 a.m. So there's no one fucking driving, and I'm like tired and angry. And I'm like, I'm just gonna do it because I've seen him like turn right on this thing again and again. And as I turn right, a police officer comes like sprinting over the hill. Lights on, I know, and then we get to the bottom, and I tried to like speed up. I literally I tried to lose him, and then he starts screaming at me. It was not a good experience.

SPEAKER_06: 38:43

Wow, you tried to run from a red light turn.

SPEAKER_01: 38:46

I no, I just could see that he was coming up, and then I was going down a hill. This was this is in Delhi, Cincinnati, and so it is like it is like valley, peaks and valleys. And I, you know, that was the first time that I tried to do the crying out of a ticket, and it just exasperated him. No. And so ever since then, what I've done is just like I say exactly what I did wrong, and I'm like, yeah, I totally understand. I'm just the most like Accountability. Accountability.

SPEAKER_06: 39:10

Whoa, you're unlike your kind.

SPEAKER_01: 39:12

And I feel like police officers love it, you know, because and you know, like you might be getting a ticket, but I'm not gonna do the yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 39:19

Like he just had an asthma attack and he can't breathe, and I'm I got a speeding ticket recently, and uh this guy can suck my ass. Oh, this guy said the most annoying thing ever. He was like, No, he was like, uh, yeah, we're stopping people if they're going 15 over and uh you're going 16 over, and uh and uh you know, just imagine if um, you know, a person was jaywalking. That's what he said. I'm like, all right, bitch, no one was jaywalking. And also if he was jaywalking, shouldn't have been standing there. Yeah. So what are we talking? You can't bring up hypotheticals.

SPEAKER_01: 39:50

If he was jaywalking, you could have got a new car, probably. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 39:54

Also, you don't get to bring up hypotheticals. Some of the law works.

SPEAKER_01: 39:58

And you know, I mean It would be different if there's a bunch of crosswalks, but the jaywalking comment is really unique. Where I'm like, so if someone else is doing something illegal, my illegal trumps they're illegal?

SPEAKER_06: 40:09

Yeah. Also, they there wasn't. So like there wasn't.

SPEAKER_01: 40:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 40:13

That guy sucks.

SPEAKER_01: 40:14

It does suck. How much was the ticket?

SPEAKER_06: 40:16

It's like 260 bucks.

SPEAKER_03: 40:17

Holy guacamole.

SPEAKER_06: 40:18

Every speeding ticket is like that. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_01: 40:21

Oh, yeah, that's a lot.

SPEAKER_06: 40:22

I think it's like 200 flat, and then they add like, I don't know, something.

unknown: 40:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 40:26

It's disgusting.

SPEAKER_01: 40:27

It's really, it's really a great.

SPEAKER_06: 40:28

It's disgusting. Also, it's like, go fight crime, dude.

SPEAKER_03: 40:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 40:32

Like, what are you though? Like an adult home monitor at that point. I'm running in the halls.

SPEAKER_01: 40:37

Hypothetical pedestrian. Hypothetical pedestrians. I feel like you don't have any respect.

SPEAKER_06: 40:41

Walking on the street. Yeah, that bothered me.

SPEAKER_01: 40:44

I'm I feel like that would bother you. Oh, I was very mad.

SPEAKER_06: 40:48

I was so mad. I was supposed to feel like had to be somewhere quick, so I okay. Yeah. I was so mad.

SPEAKER_01: 40:56

I thought you said you stayed in the moment and you're present. What do you say? Yeah, my present was get there quick. Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 41:02

Yeah, I was running in the present.

SPEAKER_01: 41:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 41:05

Yeah, I was speeding. What do you want? Actually, I wasn't speeding.

SPEAKER_01: 41:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 41:09

There's no proof of that. There's no proof. That guy just gave me a ticket and thinks he's all that in a bag of chips.

SPEAKER_01: 41:14

I mean, saying 16 over is kind of interesting too, because I've heard you can kind of fight it by saying, Can I see? I need to see the speedometer.

SPEAKER_06: 41:22

Here's the thing. It's like the fighting, it's like so much effort. I gotta go to quarter.

SPEAKER_01: 41:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 41:27

Then I tuck my shirt in.

SPEAKER_01: 41:30

Well, what did you say? He could suck your ass. Maybe you should have offered and you could have gotten out.

SPEAKER_06: 41:36

Sucking my ass. Fuck, I forgot to say that. That would have definitely worked in my favor.

SPEAKER_01: 41:42

I think so, actually. From what I know about police officers.

SPEAKER_06: 41:46

They you're telling me they they suck ass.

SPEAKER_01: 41:48

Well.

SPEAKER_06: 41:48

That's past the point of kissing ass.

SPEAKER_01: 41:50

That they enjoy it, not that they suck.

SPEAKER_06: 41:51

Oh.

SPEAKER_01: 41:52

Thank you for your service.

SPEAKER_06: 41:54

You guys are great.

SPEAKER_01: 41:55

I mean, you are I've met some great police officers.

SPEAKER_06: 41:57

No, no, no, no, no. They you know, you do kind of.

SPEAKER_01: 41:59

I've met some very terrible ones too.

SPEAKER_06: 42:01

So you do need 'em. You do need you don't you need some sort of that.

SPEAKER_01: 42:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 42:07

But like they they're a little aggressive.

SPEAKER_01: 42:12

Um okay, I so earlier before we recorded, I asked if you were if you had a spiritual aspect to your to your life. Do you do you ever think there's moments like that where it's like, this is happening for you, okay? You were going too fast and you're not supposed to get there when you think you're supposed to get there.

SPEAKER_06: 42:28

Oh, I've thought that before.

SPEAKER_01: 42:29

I'll just pull you right over.

SPEAKER_06: 42:30

Like it protected me from something? I'm sure that happened.

SPEAKER_01: 42:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 42:34

That's definitely a thing.

SPEAKER_01: 42:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 42:35

I truly believe in karma.

SPEAKER_01: 42:38

Ooh, like C-A-R-M-A karma. Yeah, got it.

SPEAKER_06: 42:43

That was pretty funny.

SPEAKER_01: 42:45

You meant to say it that way.

SPEAKER_06: 42:48

That was good. Uh yeah, I believe in that and the other. Yeah, I think karma is real. Like that is real, real. I think that's how you like the universe balances itself.

SPEAKER_01: 42:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 42:59

I think there is tabs.

SPEAKER_01: 43:01

Ooh, I like that tabs, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 43:03

Like you kind of have a score.

SPEAKER_01: 43:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 43:06

Like it's like, because we probably, you know, shit, if we're in like a some simulation thingy thing, there's gotta be some score.

SPEAKER_01: 43:13

Yeah. It's not as simple as just like some sort of predetermined amount of numbers. Like maybe there's far more accountability involved where things do balance themselves out based off of, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 43:25

They got to. I think if you find like a hundred bucks on the ground, like you probably you probably earned it.

SPEAKER_01: 43:30

Ooh.

SPEAKER_06: 43:30

You probably earned it.

SPEAKER_01: 43:32

I like that too. But man, I I can't remember the last time I found money on the ground. Like that's when you know you're not you're not in a great economy when like there's just not even cash to be found on the ground.

SPEAKER_06: 43:43

Yeah, that's dark to the future when there's no cash. We gotta find on the ground like a fucking uh uh uh like a 25-digit code.

SPEAKER_01: 43:51

Yeah. Yeah, and just a QR code that's like follow here.

SPEAKER_02: 43:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 43:55

I don't know. There, I remember in in high school when I would go to like festivals or whatnot, and that was the thing to do like on Friday night to go to some other school's like festival, you know, try and meet some guy from another school.

SPEAKER_05: 44:07

Nice.

SPEAKER_01: 44:08

And I would just walk around and like because there'd be the the ground would be littered with tickets that people were like scratching off or whatever it was. It was like covered, and there would just be money all the time. Like I would make like 50 bucks just walk around and like here's a 20. You know, I remember one time I found a 50 and I was just like jackpot.

SPEAKER_06: 44:23

Oh, just because they're like dancing around and shit?

SPEAKER_01: 44:25

Just because the ground, yeah, because they're just having a good time. Damn. And at the festivals used to be like mostly cash anyway. It's like you weren't swiping cards. And I mean, it's supposed to be the 2000s, so it was just like, you know, it was a great time to just make a little extra money as a kid. It was a fun time, and now now yeah, you wouldn't find anything on the ground, you'd just be looking at paper.

SPEAKER_06: 44:44

Dude, metal detector guys are wasting their time. Just go to a festival. You don't even need the detector.

SPEAKER_01: 44:49

I know you don't. But I just don't feel like people drop drop money anymore.

SPEAKER_06: 44:53

It's a sad money's hard to come by.

SPEAKER_01: 44:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 44:58

Yeah. You come by money, it'll be hard.

SPEAKER_01: 45:03

You think so?

SPEAKER_06: 45:04

I don't know. It doesn't, yeah, it's hard to find.

SPEAKER_01: 45:07

Like legitimately? Just the the cash part. Like legitimate physical cash part.

SPEAKER_06: 45:11

No, just in general.

SPEAKER_01: 45:12

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 45:12

But both, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 45:13

How do you feel about mindsets and belief systems?

SPEAKER_06: 45:16

Just in general?

SPEAKER_01: 45:18

Do you subscribe to the more you feel about something is the way that that will be? Oh, you can't. You know, I love money in the night, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 45:29

I believe in that. Yeah, you can do anything you want to do.

SPEAKER_01: 45:32

How do you practice it?

SPEAKER_06: 45:34

You do the thing that you want. And you you persevered. Well, you yeah, you have to like genuinely want it and act upon it and speak it.

SPEAKER_04: 45:44

You know?

SPEAKER_06: 45:45

I think I think saying things is very like like choose your words carefully.

SPEAKER_01: 45:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 45:50

I do think that's important.

SPEAKER_01: 45:52

When did you start um identifying as a comedian?

SPEAKER_06: 45:55

Identifying. Oh, that's the new thing.

SPEAKER_01: 45:58

Uh I know, as I said, I mean when you know, yeah, when did you start identifying? Identifying loud.

SPEAKER_06: 46:04

Uh three and a half years ago.

SPEAKER_01: 46:06

So right out the gate you started saying it?

SPEAKER_06: 46:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 46:09

I mean, you know, as you should, but I'm I mean, yeah, obviously. Yeah, some people are like, oh, it's stolen valor and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_06: 46:15

And I do get that. But it's like if you played uh like, I don't know, baseball, it's like I'm not gonna be like, yeah, I started playing baseball at 21 when I joined the major leagues, started playing when I was four.

SPEAKER_04: 46:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 46:28

So yeah, I believe that's important. Like, you gotta it you are what you are.

SPEAKER_04: 46:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 46:35

Just because you're not getting paid, and just because you're doing comedy to four people drinking kaba at a kaba bar who don't give a fuck about you, you're still technically doing comedy. You have a mic in your hand.

SPEAKER_04: 46:47

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_06: 46:48

And uh you're standing up there and saying jokes. So, like, yeah, it is what it is.

SPEAKER_01: 46:53

Yeah, I mean, I'm not pushing back against that at all. I think I feel that way about whatever, whatever the fuck you're doing, especially when you're doing something hard when it comes, like if you're I mean, other than writers, like, you know, I think a lot of people say they're writers, but they're not writing. So I'm like, it's the worst type of writer is a writer who isn't writing. So get to it, you know. But yeah, I feel like artists are artists all the time, you know. I feel like music, like you're just it the moment you start doing the thing, like you get to say that that you're it. So, I mean, I I agree, it doesn't matter if you're getting it doesn't matter if you're getting paid, it doesn't matter if you know you've got a busy calendar season, like you are what you say you are, and I think it really helps the more you speak it proudly and like that energy that you're trying to bring forth to say it. Yeah, I fucking do comedy. That's yeah, it's and it feels really fucking good to say that. Like it's a different level of good, I think.

SPEAKER_06: 47:50

Absolutely. Plus, it's like you are putting yourself out there to be embarrassed because yeah, like you can say this, but then you have to prove it. So like you can be like, Oh, I'm a comedian, but then if like you're dog shit and get on stage and they're like, Well, that's embarrassing that you call yourself that. So like now you're opening yourself up to to like proving to these people that you are what you say you are.

SPEAKER_01: 48:13

I think I learned that lesson the very hard way.

SPEAKER_06: 48:16

Everyone does. It's yeah, it's hard as shit. It's also like not only do you have to be funny and uh like write all this stuff, but like you have to be fucking energetic and on it at like the time that people are going to bed.

SPEAKER_04: 48:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 48:31

Every night.

SPEAKER_01: 48:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 48:33

You know, like that's just hard in general.

SPEAKER_01: 48:36

It's really unnatural. I mean, it's like genuinely unnatural, I feel like, to for a lot of people. I mean, some people have do you know how many hours of sleep you need? Like, is it something you're privy to?

SPEAKER_06: 48:46

Um, I think yeah, you probably should get around like seven.

SPEAKER_01: 48:48

Seven? Because there's like like the whoop app or like the nerving or whatever. And literally, I know. I mean, I know, but also as a female who has a totally different way of biologically being. When I learned that I needed nine hours of sleep to feel my fucking best, I was like, wow, this makes sense as to why doing like late night things was like the next day would just be like I'd be riding off of a high if it did go well, and then suddenly just crash, like like energetically crash and feel very bad. And it would be I would just be like, You got sleep, why do you feel this way? Like go to the gym. And then it was like, no, you didn't get anywhere near the amount of sleep that you need. And also you're on a deficit right now, dude. So you're gonna have to chill the fuck out.

SPEAKER_06: 49:32

I've been on a sleep deficit for three and a half years.

SPEAKER_01: 49:34

So you just thrive on the sleep.

SPEAKER_06: 49:36

Do you I mean sometimes. Sometimes I'm tired as shit.

SPEAKER_01: 49:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 49:40

Um I don't sleep as much as I could. I mean, I all I do is like work. I work and do comedy.

SPEAKER_04: 49:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 49:47

That's kind of all I do.

SPEAKER_04: 49:48

What do you do when you're not doing it?

SPEAKER_06: 49:50

Doing what?

SPEAKER_04: 49:51

It.

SPEAKER_06: 49:52

It?

SPEAKER_04: 49:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 49:53

Uh drinking coffee. Writing, trying to write jokes.

SPEAKER_01: 49:58

I think that's the the most I've seen you out in the wild, like not doing a comedy, is definitely like with a coffee of some sort. I think I've definitely come out of the coffee shop.

SPEAKER_06: 50:07

I like going to the coffee shops. It's a good place. That's a great coffee. I like to observe, you know. I like being like an outsider in in in the game.

SPEAKER_01: 50:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 50:17

I kind of look at my look at myself that way.

SPEAKER_01: 50:20

How do you feel when you're recognized?

SPEAKER_06: 50:23

It's kind of cool.

SPEAKER_01: 50:25

Come on.

SPEAKER_06: 50:26

It's cool. It is cool.

SPEAKER_01: 50:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 50:28

I mean, it happens because we're in a small town. No, we're not in a small town, but like I mean, it's getting big, but it's not big.

SPEAKER_01: 50:34

It's big and small at the same time.

SPEAKER_06: 50:36

And we do comedy so much that everybody starts to know each other very fast. People do recognize you, I mean, when you're walking down the street, and that's cool. I mean, it doesn't really mean anything.

SPEAKER_04: 50:46

Mmm.

unknown: 50:47

Interesting.

SPEAKER_06: 50:48

Because like, what's who cares at that point? Like, I do want to get recognized as like on a bigger scale.

SPEAKER_04: 50:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 50:58

So the smaller scale's like cool, but yeah. You know?

SPEAKER_01: 51:03

Have you done things elsewhere? Other cities, other places? Not really. Are you trying to?

SPEAKER_06: 51:10

Yeah, I'd love to. Yeah. But um then like a little bit in DC and that's about it. But otherwise, just just all around Florida. But I mean, I you know, I there's so much to do around here, but like doing it elsewhere uh would be nice if I was like part of the big thing.

SPEAKER_04: 51:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 51:32

But uh on a smaller scale, it almost doesn't even matter at that point. Like going to like Minnesota to do a 50-person show. It's like I can just do that here. Yeah. So it's like there's really no point.

SPEAKER_01: 51:45

I would like to push back there. I think maybe there is something. I think maybe, you know? Because like you just never fucking know who is gonna be in that room.

SPEAKER_06: 51:54

That's true. I mean, that's true.

SPEAKER_01: 51:57

But I just mean in terms of like But yeah, keeping with the momentum of probably doing good work and and hitting. I mean, I feel like I from my from where I'm standing, the whole Bay Area really does seem to be blossoming in the comedy ceiling. There's so many fucking opportunities.

SPEAKER_06: 52:15

I can't imagine anywhere else.

SPEAKER_01: 52:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 52:17

I don't know if it was destiny or what, but like the fact that I just ended up here on a whim is crazy. It's actually crazy.

SPEAKER_01: 52:25

What was the whim?

SPEAKER_06: 52:26

It was just a whim.

SPEAKER_01: 52:27

You're like Tampa.

SPEAKER_06: 52:29

I had one friend here I went to college with.

SPEAKER_01: 52:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 52:33

Great guy. I love him so much. And I visited him. And um I wanted to move. I wanted to start my comedy career. I would like sit at this coffee shop in DC and I'd just like write for like three months. With your pen and hand? Put the hand okay. And I was like working a job I fucking did not like.

SPEAKER_04: 52:51

What was the job?

SPEAKER_06: 52:52

I was in mortgage.

unknown: 52:53

Mortgage.

SPEAKER_06: 52:54

It was in mortgage.

SPEAKER_01: 52:55

Cause and uh He taught you something though, right? Like, what's the thing that you're like, well fuck? I did learn a thing.

SPEAKER_06: 53:03

No, the best the best lessons in life are to learn what you don't like.

SPEAKER_04: 53:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 53:07

Those are way better than learning what you like. Figuring out what you don't like is clutch. Cause cause it motivates you to find what you like.

SPEAKER_01: 53:15

What was the thing that you were immediately like, well, this fucking sucks about mortgage?

SPEAKER_06: 53:19

Well, I just I was like, I got out of college and like just did like sales jobs.

SPEAKER_04: 53:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 53:23

I had a very cool sales job back in the day.

SPEAKER_04: 53:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 53:27

But um I just did that. And like you make like pretty good money, but you're just kind of like on like the treadmill of mediocrity. You know, where you're like going the same speed and then you look back like 10 years later and you're like, damn, I kind of just doing the same shit I was doing before. Yeah. And um I don't like that. That's yeah, like I don't like the boring life. I like the thrill.

SPEAKER_01: 53:54

I like um there's a different caliber, I think, when you start doing not what's asked of you, but like what you truly want to be doing. It's a different caliber. And I feel like when you're in rooms with other people who are not doing that, it becomes like really palpable. You know what I mean? Like I don't I don't know if you feel that, but like when some people aren't are on the trajectory that is more predetermined or whatnot, like there is a void there sometimes when I'm like talking to them and I'm just like be compassionate, open up, like try to see where you can connect. But like there's there is like they are secure and there is kind of a shield around them in a way where they like where when you start talking about what you're doing, like I think it's very hard to truly connect. Either gonna be inspired because like you're gonna be their gateway drug, where they're like, fuck, I need to start doing the thing I want to do, or they're just like, I don't understand, does not comprehend, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06: 54:46

Like shit. I mean it's hard because like what I'm doing is not for the faint of art. Like life grabs you by the balls, yeah. You know, like you kind of have to make a decision, yeah. You know, because not everyone could do what I'm doing. Like, um, you know, like so security's nice in life. Women love security. They don't like a dude like me right now.

SPEAKER_01: 55:12

Well, I think there's uh more as a female to need security for, but I feel like even that's being changed, like maybe that'll change in time.

SPEAKER_06: 55:23

I don't know, maybe I think that's annoying. I think that's okay. I think that's probably a good thing. And um, but it's like, yeah, I can't be like the the normal thing in my current lifestyle, and that's a decision I made and I'm happy with because I do see I do believe in myself.

SPEAKER_01: 55:45

Do you ever feel like it would it chose you in a lot of ways? Like, could you unchose this thing? Or is it just like no, it's this it's stuck to me. Like it's the it's the thing.

SPEAKER_04: 55:53

No way, this is it.

SPEAKER_01: 55:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 55:55

This is it.

SPEAKER_01: 55:56

So has there been any moment in like three years that you were like just that kind of trip up where you're like I've had some, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 56:03

I mean, I mean, I've had uh yeah, I've dealt with whirlwinds in certain situations. Uh that to combo for another day, but like but yeah, I mean it's also like Yeah, you have to make a decision. Yeah. Like I'm very stubborn, but I believe in myself. I genuinely believe in myself. I'm I find I'm very good at knowing what I'm good at.

SPEAKER_04: 56:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 56:35

I like I'm delusional for sure. Like, like um my Yeah. And you have to be kind of, but I'm not like crazy delusional. I'm just like the guy who's like down 10-1 in like a basketball game and I'm like talking shit. Like, because I'm like, I'm out and the game's to 11, and I'm like, yeah, I'm still gonna win. Like that's kind of that's the crazy I have. But um, but I believe myself.

SPEAKER_01: 57:04

I I feel that's I think you're putting out all the things that are necessary for anybody to do literally anything that's very scary, but perseverance definitely and like the believing in yourself is like the next part. Because you can keep persevering and still not feel good. But like if you truly believe in what you're doing, that is really gonna set you free. And I think the delusional part, like definitely don't want to get into a conversation about Donald Trump, but I will say that I fucking think that he's the most inspiring person when it comes to delusion. Like, because like if you just fucking like you don't have to be a good person, you don't have to say the right thing, you don't have to do anything that is is expected, but you can get to where you're going as long as you fucking believe in it. And I'm like, wow, that's really really inspiring.

SPEAKER_06: 57:52

No, yeah. I mean, you kind of just have to like not care about others' opinions because like even if you just talk like comedy, like no one understands it's like explaining what I do is insane to like someone who doesn't get it.

SPEAKER_01: 58:10

Do you ever just not say that? And you're like, I don't want to go into this right now, you know, where you're like, what can I give you that will just bypass this conversation or everything? Yeah, I just don't even care. Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 58:18

Because I'm like, it doesn't even, it's not even worth my time to explain. Because like at some point, it will make sense.

SPEAKER_04: 58:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 58:26

Yeah. So it's like, what I'm not, it's like that day when that day happens, and I'm like, you know, financially successful, yeah. Then people will be like, oh wow. Oh yeah, you really did yeah. It's like, yeah, I was doing that the whole time. Just because like you're not.

SPEAKER_01: 58:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 58:44

That's why success is like fickle, because let's say three years from now, I'm like financially successful in comedy. Does that make the six years I wasn't successful? You know? It was all part of the same project.

SPEAKER_01: 59:00

I mean, it's all the same ladder or whatever you want to do.

SPEAKER_06: 59:01

And I couldn't have got there without it. So what is that definition?

SPEAKER_01: 59:07

Yeah. I mean, it's programmed, I think, in us to have a weird comparison of what it is, but I mean the financial part is I think it's just very obnoxious because I don't know. I think it makes it worth it in a lot of ways that maybe would make it very scary, like to you have to really fucking want something. You have to really want it, and it really asks you if you do to not have that financial backing. And so there's like such a purity that's just filtering out the bullshit. Cause yeah, there's some tracks I think that you're like right away you'd be like, no, I'm good. You know, there's certainly I mean, I've had a couple jobs that paid really good. And I was like, Yeah, this is I can do this for a while, but then even then, man, it just like The walls like closed in so fast. And I was like, man, even this isn't worth it.

SPEAKER_06: 1:00:05

I might still I might be in the negatives in comedy if you just account for like gas and like traveling and stuff like that. Definitely sleep negative.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:14

You know, like well, are there any other negatives you feel like as far as like socially or romantically?

SPEAKER_06: 1:00:21

Uh it significantly uh impacted uh yeah, it has.

SPEAKER_02: 1:00:27

Um and then you know uh yeah, it's hard.

SPEAKER_06: 1:00:35

It's hard to um give it it is it is hard to give a woman um necessarily the things that she fully needs. You know.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:47

Have you dated comedians?

unknown: 1:00:49

No.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:50

Would you date a comedian?

SPEAKER_06: 1:00:52

No.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:52

Yeah, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_06: 1:00:54

No way.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:55

Why?

SPEAKER_06: 1:00:56

That sounds horrible.

unknown: 1:00:57

Why?

SPEAKER_06: 1:00:58

I don't want to do that at all.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:00

Yeah. Also, like you do it and you're like, am I gonna date in the industry? Am I doing it in the trade? Or because you've seen so much of the man behind the curtain where you're like, um, I'm okay here.

SPEAKER_06: 1:01:11

Yeah, I just don't want to like mix that. That sounds horrible. Yeah. Like uh, it's just a weird business. It's like, I don't know. I I think in a relationship, it's better to have like I'm like the the funny person? Not that you're gonna be funny, but yeah, it's like I'm doing like the entertain. It's basically entertainment.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:01:35

Two is too much. Like you kind of want to even out. Like you can be, you know, more normal than me.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:42

What do you think your ideal is as far as that counterpart with whatever you know what I mean? Like, what's that feeling?

SPEAKER_06: 1:01:49

Um just a woman who uh sorry.

SPEAKER_03: 1:01:56

Do you hate this question?

SPEAKER_06: 1:01:57

Uh yeah, because then it like makes me like uh as good as I am at talking, like it's funny. I'm very good at like obviously talking and being on stage and saying all this shit. And then when it comes to like like personal stuff, I'm like my dad, where I'm just like one-word answers, yep. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. Yep.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:15

Come on, Jake, come to the stage, front and center.

SPEAKER_06: 1:02:18

Uh yeah, it makes it hard. I mean, it has uh it has very much impacted a past relationship of mine, a current relationship, I suppose, but not in that sense, but um yeah, and uh there's other factors involved, but yeah, I think you just want someone that believes in you.

SPEAKER_04: 1:02:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:02:39

And like allows you to trust you, you know. And um I think those two things are very important. Because like I said, I mean, like, I'm not financially successful in comedy. So a person would have to believe like I'm like a lottery ticket.

SPEAKER_03: 1:02:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:03:00

You know, I think women do think of men that way. You kind of do choose a lottery ticket. So you kind of gotta believe you got the right numbers.

SPEAKER_04: 1:03:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:03:11

And uh, and then one day you you cash out or like you're like, oh shit, that's my man. I knew he was gonna be like that, you know?

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:20

And then that's cool because then that woman I mean it really fucking I think it's the same thing, like the filtering out of the noise. I mean, you're really gonna find if someone truly believes in you. It's like the real thing because those factors, yeah, those could get in someone's head. I mean, I'm fresh out of a relationship where I think it was super challenging for him to understand what I was what I'm doing. And I think he like does not come from that world at all. Like, you know, comes from finance world, like totally different. He's playing with money every day. And and I think that it's good, it's good to be in that environment too, to just be like, oh yeah, you can just you can actually just step into the flow if you wanted to. You could just step right into the flow of of money and play a game if you want to play it, but I don't want to play that game. Like I, you know, I just want to do the thing that I'm I'm doing. And it does suck, I think, for someone to to like really care about someone and to love someone and for them not to see like you know that they don't see you, like they they see something and they love it, but like what they can't see, they can't understand. And that like it doesn't matter if you're good, it doesn't matter if you're if you persevere, it doesn't matter if you believe, like they just they need something so much more substantial, you know. Yeah, and yeah, that I think like it's it's a bummer. It is unfortunate.

SPEAKER_06: 1:04:44

Yeah, it's very unfortunate because like it's kind of the society dictating those relationships because you're not doing like what the normal thing is that people do.

SPEAKER_04: 1:04:57

No.

SPEAKER_06: 1:04:57

Where it's like you go to work and then you come home and then you have dinner and then you go to sleep.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:04

And then you like hang out for a couple hours.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:06

And then you drink on the weekends.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:08

Yeah, well, and I don't really even drink.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:10

And uh I'm kind of projecting. No, but I know what you mean. That is kind of the standard thing.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:14

It's like work and then yeah, Friday night, like get obliterated because you were stressed out from work.

SPEAKER_04: 1:05:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:21

And um, yeah, a lot of people just want to do that.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:24

Yeah, a lot of people do. Buy a boat, get away with the boat. That's sometimes that's that's a part of the trajectory, I think, in St. Pete in Tampa. For sure. Buy boat.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:34

I would love boat money.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:35

I had a girl one time like I can see you living on a houseboat for sure. I can see you really rocking that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:41

I'll take a fucking houseboat. I'll take a boat house. I'll take a look.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:45

I'll just take a house. Yeah, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:48

That would be great.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:48

Vision board it.

SPEAKER_06: 1:05:50

I would love I would like a like a lot of things. But um, yeah, one time this girl, I was sitting next to her at like a coffee shop bar like a while back. And she was like kind of flirting with me. And then she was like, like, very flirty, and then she's like, oh well, like, you know, if you buy me a drink, then like, you know, blah blah blah. And I was like, I'm not gonna buy you a drink. She's like, Well, if you don't buy me a drink, I'm like, Alright, well, I'm not gonna buy you a drink.

SPEAKER_04: 1:06:24

Not gonna buy a drink, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:06:25

And uh it's like, what is that? How like what is that?

SPEAKER_04: 1:06:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:06:28

What am I buying you? What is the buying a drink thing? I why do I have to buy you a drink? I don't even know you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:39

Can I have a can I say where this is coming from as a as a female?

SPEAKER_06: 1:06:43

Yeah, sure, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:44

There's definitely a little bit of that, I feel like I guess I I feel like I grew up when I first got my my first job back out of college and I was making bank and I was doing well. I definitely had this moment where I wanted to pay for everything. And I was like, you don't have to pay, I actually got it. And so I would like pay for this person, you know, this guy or whatever, over and over again. Whoever it was, it was a first date, like friends, and I just felt really good about that. Like I wanted, I didn't want someone to think that they had to take care of me. And so I went through that, you know, that experience. And then I think in the last couple of years, because financially it's been churning and challenging and like the most humbling experience of my life, I have come more into that sort of receiving mode where I'm like, okay, well, what does someone how is someone trying to show up for me? And I I've like noticed with a lot of like online female culture when it comes to dating, where like the the girls do want the guy to show up and offer to do that thing because it shows, like it shows that you're willing to be generous. And so I think the easiest way is generous with money. And like not everyone is in a position where like I'm you know, I'm not buying drinks for everybody out here, but I think like for a lot of especially I think girls of a certain age, like there's a thing there where it's like, okay, well, you're clearly not like you want it easy, so I'm not gonna give it to you easy, you know. Yes, well, no, not it, but like whatever in the transaction is.

SPEAKER_06: 1:08:11

Don't get me wrong, I'm very traditional in terms of that. Like, if I'm dating you, I have no I was you don't have to drop a dime. I genuinely don't even care. But like it just annoyed me that I never met this girl before, and we're sitting and she's like, Oh yeah, just buying me a drink, and then I'm like, I don't know you, this isn't a date. Like, but in terms of that, I do believe, yeah, um I'm happy with a man financially being supported. The problem is, like, I think back in the day, I think women were a little more understanding of like, okay, if he's providing this part, then I provide this part.

SPEAKER_04: 1:08:49

The balance.

SPEAKER_06: 1:08:50

Then we meet in the middle, and like, you know, you kind of like this part is very important, the financial part.

SPEAKER_04: 1:08:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:08:57

Extreme, especially if you're reliant on that.

SPEAKER_04: 1:09:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:09:00

So like then you have to understand the value of that. And I think the value of that is not understood anymore. Like in with a lot of women, and I'm gonna say all women, but a lot of women don't understand, like that's really important. Like, you can't live without that part. So if I'm providing this, then and you're not like understanding that this takes a toll on like and if you have money, money, yeah, then that's easy. But like if you're working for that money, yeah, then there has to be some sort of understanding of like and um So I'm cool with that, but there's gotta be the understanding.

SPEAKER_03: 1:09:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:09:38

And that's lost. That is totally lost. Like the roles of traditional like relationships.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:47

You think it's totally lost?

SPEAKER_06: 1:09:48

I think, yeah, it's big time lost.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:50

I think they're being rewritten a little bit, but I mean, I think I do agree because we're coming off of a time in which I think a lot of women were, you know, like people are women are becoming far more financially stable, getting into workforce, changing the way the industry works in any industry, especially as more females filter into it. So, like a lot of women aren't really looking for a partner to do those things, but they do want their partner to be able to like rise to that occasion. But also, I think, yeah, there's this little bit, there's a certain type of genre of female that is like, no, no, I'm good on the working part. I actually just kind of want to be the receiver, the recipient of like your work.

SPEAKER_06: 1:10:30

And that is what I I would prefer.

SPEAKER_01: 1:10:33

And I think that that female the majority of that mindset is not grounded in reality yet. Like they just think because, you know, because you are pretty or because you do dress well, or because like, you know, you're you are the package is like physically there, but like none of the none of the other qualities are there. Like none of the person, none of the experience, none of the things that like one of those. The gratitude. Yeah, the gr the gratitude that's like I'm gonna do these things. Correct. And I think that people and like a lot of girls reject that because they're like, well, I don't have to do that. That's not like I don't I don't have to be the I think the things that they associate that with are not things that they want to do anymore because they see that as um what's the word that I want? Like anti-feminist, essentially, you know? Yeah. But like when you take away the the gender role of it, if it was reversed, and let's say the guy was more the recipient of some girl's like kick-ass, you know, business, I would imagine that that guy would be bringing home the bacon and the emotional aspect of things, or you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06: 1:11:34

Like really be believing, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:37

There has to be that. That's it.

SPEAKER_06: 1:11:38

And we're both not built, we're just built differently. So it's like that is what you're better than. Like you're the you are a nurturer by nature.

SPEAKER_05: 1:11:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:11:48

And like a man is more like the haunter-gatherer, like he gets the resources and provides that for the family. Yeah. And like it works in unison. Like, you know, and when he's out hunting and gathering, like you're protecting the home and taking care of, like, you know, the the children or whatever that is, and then like when they come home, it's like this thing, and yeah, that's super loss. I think phones have screwed that up too.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:17

I think like the fact that you leave home and then you're in communication like instantly, I think that's not good for us because it's like because there's a void, there's like a phone that kicks in immediately where you're like, you're like, but the phone is right in their hand. Why are they not talking to me? Yeah. And they're saying, Why are you not checking in? Why did you not read this message? What happened? Why didn't you answer? Or whatever, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_06: 1:12:39

Yeah, I think like back in the day when it's like, uh, let's say the dad worked nine to five, and then he gets home at five, and you haven't talked all day, or maybe you talked on the phone one time, yeah, and it was like, dad's home. It's a big deal because you haven't seen each other, you haven't talked in eight hours.

SPEAKER_05: 1:12:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:12:53

And now it's like, oh, he leaves, and then we're just talking throughout the day, and then you get home and it's like, oh, you don't even have anything to talk about. You talked about everything already.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:13:00

And it just dulls the shit.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:04

I feel like there's a huge responsibility to keep things fresh and to have legitimate boundaries as to what you want and a partner. I don't like, you know, I don't necessarily I definitely don't want a traditional household for myself, but I also don't I don't shit on any guy that wants that. Like I think you're allowed to want what you want, and there's totally merit, there's a lot of merit in and wanting specific types of like roles to be played out, you know. And I think there's also like a genuine sincerity and like wanting it to function that way. But I don't know, people just have to know themselves. Like you have to really know what you want and not take it personally too, like, you know, if we were on a date and you said that, I wouldn't just be like, well, fuck you, like that's not the life I want. You know what I mean? I would just be like, cool, that's I don't I don't prescribe to the that way of thinking. But I also know that that's a totally functional and and valid way to want that home life to to work, you know. Like it works for a lot of people for a lot of really good validations.

SPEAKER_06: 1:14:00

I don't think it really works any other way.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14:03

I disagree, I think. But not everybody's meant to like get married and not everyone's meant to have children. Like I definitely like the village aspect where like you have a community and people have specific functions that they are really fucking good at. And you like bring it forth and you're supported and you're not, you know, exiled when you're not doing the thing like you're cared for when life comes at you.

SPEAKER_06: 1:14:24

Well, I just think like expectations are real like those that's what ruins relationships.

SPEAKER_05: 1:14:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:14:31

And I do think um call me sexist. I think women have like very uh somewhat delusional expectations at times.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14:43

If we're gonna be, you know, polarized. Like, I mean, you know, I've I've talked I've heard some guy friends of mine that I adore. But when they talk about what they want, I'm just like, even if you fucking had that, you would still be looking. Like there's just this like need, this like, and a lot of women do this too, but it's like this this desire has absolutely overtaken the reality of the situation, where it's like you can't even get to where they are because you've just diluted this whole fucking thing with your expectation or your perfect guy or your perfect woman. It does, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:15:13

On both sides it does, but I mean I think that like men are a little more simple when it comes to it. Like what we want. We genuinely want like someone to be loyal and just like kind of the loyalty is such a big one. Yeah, it's so interesting, and not even just like sexually, I think just like as like the back to like believing in you. Yeah, it's like you're kind of like the just the rock of for the man in a way. Like when he's doing like if I'm doing my thing, you know, like the trust that that person has your back, like it's like a good friendship, yeah, you know?

SPEAKER_01: 1:15:54

But yeah, I do know. I do know. Sometimes the friendship aspect I think can be a little domineering as well, though. Sometimes I think we expect our partners to be like our best friends, and it's like it's okay if they're not, you know, it's okay if they're like I think you have your friends for a reason. It's wonderful if your partner is for sure your fucking friend. I think that's amazing, but in a lot of ways, that is what your friends are for.

SPEAKER_06: 1:16:20

Yeah. I just mean friends is in like I've had the same best friend since I was like four.

SPEAKER_04: 1:16:25

Whoa.

SPEAKER_06: 1:16:26

And it's like uh there's never like a fear of mine where it's like I know they don't have my back, I would always have their back, like no matter what. And obviously they're just like guys over like you don't have the like relationship aspect of it, but it's like that is the perfect bond. And like if you can replicate that with a woman, then it's perfect, nothing will ever happen, but then like it's not like that all the time, it just like gets complicated and like expectations, and then you get into like fights about these things, and it's like they don't you don't feel like you're welcomed like the way you deserve a lot of times. Like when I see if I see my friend that we've been best friends forever, I just know it's gonna be cool. Yeah, like I'm not worried about like oh, is he mad at me? Yeah, and like you'll date a woman and you just will like walk in and it's like what did I do? Yeah you know, like that's not trust. No, that's what fucks up relationships because you just you just get like an onslaught of like, I don't even know what you're mad at, and then you gotta do like a Rubik's Cube to figure out what you're mad at, and um it's like no one wants to do that, and then it's like it's not even a big deal, regardless, and now we're compiling things, yeah, and like and then now you're now as the man you're coming home, right? And you're like you're not trusting of it because you're like, oh, is today gonna be the day? Is this gonna be a good good good like welcoming or a bad one? And then you're now you're stepping on eggshells, yeah, and now the whole dynamics all screwed up and like you know the dynamic is everything.

SPEAKER_01: 1:18:09

I I have I have learned that the thing that is the most important for me getting through because I think I used to be that way in dating, where I would be standoffish, you know, if something was bothering me, then I would kind of just think no, nothing's bothering me, it's something clearly is bothering me. And and yeah, talking about it is the easiest way to get through it, but there's also like a receiving factor that has to happen on the guy's part, which like very few men can legitimately do, which is like not take it personally because it's maybe not personal, but it's like this is the thing that I'm feeling, and then you may just be able to talk about it and not make it your fault unless you clearly fucked up or something. But like to be able to be like, this is what's happening, this is why I'm thinking this, this is why I'm feeling this. You know, what what do we do here? How do I feel better? And I think for the guy to just be like, okay, like let me hold that. And that's like the best quality ever. Like when you have that, it's so good because you it's like a different type of security where you're like, yeah, I can feel what I'm fucking feeling, and it's not gonna polarize this guy. But I do know on the same front that like I know many men that can't do that because he's in the same spot as that girl is when she can't talk about what's bothering her, you know, and I think it's everybody has this, it's not a guy or a girl thing, but like being able to talk about what you're feeling and to have someone actually reciprocate is a genuine quality that most of us never learned, and it's really hard to get through, especially when you like someone, because it doesn't matter how much you fucking love them, how much you show up, like if you can't put the time in and the perseverance, like it's not gonna get better. It sucks.

SPEAKER_06: 1:19:46

Oh, yeah. I mean it it's hard to like, but and it's hard to be on the same page at times, you know? And yeah, when you open up, it's I think I would say one quality that's difficult. About a woman is like men don't really get the opportunity to open up because it really kind of is used as a weakness. Like you don't like that.

SPEAKER_01: 1:20:10

You mean like against you, use against you?

SPEAKER_06: 1:20:12

Like you said this thing when you were being honest that I feel like it's kind of a lose-lose because the problem with women is like just being honest based on my experience. Like if you open up to a woman about your troubles, you're struggling in this, you're sad about this. You it is kind of looked at as a weakness. Okay. Yeah. It really is. And then the problem with that is if you're not opening up to that, then a woman looks at you as like, oh, everything's all good with you, but you don't care about me because I'm doing I'm doing this, and you just everything's fine with you. So you kind of like get trapped in a situation where you can't really win because you're either just sturdy and it and it appears to her that like, oh, you're just everything's good with you. Like you have no problems, but if you open up about those problems, and it's like, oh, look at this weak sack of shit. How are you gonna protect me?

SPEAKER_01: 1:21:05

Yeah, I mean I mean that's a really unfortunate experience to have, I think. And I don't think it's that way for everybody, but I think it sucks that you have experienced that or that anybody really experiences that, because it sucks not to be caught, you know, and not to be able to. I've certainly dated before where I have a tendency to attract people who are deep feelers and can be very emotionally unstable. And the moments where they're like, oh shit, I can tell you things, they'll open up the floodgates, and then they'll never get out of that spot, they'll never get out of there. Like they like open it up and now they're always here. And I'm like, I need us to be able to be back up here. Like I need you to be to say what the fuck is going on, and like we can talk about it, but I need you to put it down and like come up here. And I remembered so many times just being like, oh no, now it's just depression. Like every time we're together, it's just a sadness versus like being able to. I don't know. I've always wanted someone that can swim in the deep, but also knows how to play in the fucking shallows, you know. I don't know, like does that. No, I know what you're saying, yeah. Yeah, like some people just can't come back to shore after they like say the thing and it's great water analogies.

SPEAKER_06: 1:22:16

You went from a pool to an ocean.

SPEAKER_01: 1:22:18

Pisces, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:22:19

That's pretty good. Uh yeah, I know what you mean. It's complicated, man. We're just different. And like I think I think back to what we're saying, like, I think it's just lost on people how different we are.

SPEAKER_01: 1:22:31

We're not that different, though. Like, we're so different. But like there's a lot that's the same. I think that's the thing to really fucking focus on, which is a lot of the same, but the same is that you don't want to have your feelings hurt, and like your feelings matter, and also not everything that you're feeling is reality, and not everything you're feeling is my fault, and not everything I'm feeling is your fault, and also like is it okay that I still feel like you did this fucking thing and you hurt my feelings? And can you hold that? Like, I think that's literally what matters the most, and it gets exhausting sometimes, I think, for most people, like when they don't want to do it anymore, you know?

SPEAKER_06: 1:23:05

Yeah, I mean, obviously, if something like cra bad happens, that's different, but I'm just talking like I guess in like the basic inner dynamics, like I think we're very different, and that's okay. Yeah, and that's a problem, is that like it's not perceived as okay as much, I think, as it once did. Like understanding differences is more important than like realizing similarities because interesting.

SPEAKER_01: 1:23:32

That's I don't agree with that, but I like I like that as a thought exercise. Like I you definitely need to know why you're different because it's super important, but I feel like in order to connect, you really have to know you know what I mean? Like, love will transcend all if you can just find the compassion to do it.

SPEAKER_06: 1:23:48

And that's finding sometimes you think so.

SPEAKER_01: 1:23:51

Sometimes what's the quality that you love the most in a female? Like what's no, don't answer that. What is the thing that you love the most about women? The thing where you're like, then no that's not a thing that you love in guys, but like for women, you're like, I love this this thing.

SPEAKER_06: 1:24:08

Um I mean I think like I love I love my mom. I think my mom is um like above all, she'll just do anything. Like that I like if all when it comes down to it, she will do whatever it takes to make that like boy happy. And uh that's that's an endearing trait, and and she I think my parents have a beautiful marriage, like they really do. I think I'm spoiled in that sense. Yeah, and um, I think it's also it's like a gift and a curse because like that's your perception of what relationships should be. So then when you encounter in the real world, like it's you realize like, oh, that's like that's an outlier. Yeah, it really is, especially in this day and age, and um, so you're expecting that, and uh it's har it's hard to find. Like people aren't like they're just devoted to each other, yeah, and they play like different roles and they're cool with that, and uh they just got each other's back, and um even when times are really tough, and like they have been extremely tough, and uh there's just there's never like a a abort button, you know, like that's that's the thing that I that I really endear in some relationships. Like there's just some people just have this eject button, yeah. And like I've found that when walls close in. Yeah, it's like oh we and it's like it's not like we can just survive together. It's not yeah, like if that's even an option, then like you're not doing this right.

SPEAKER_01: 1:26:10

I think people are afraid, I'm just so afraid. I'm doing of especially when you come from families that you were like, wow, my parents should not have been together, and you see that and you get afraid that you know you're choosing this path. That if you endure, if you keep if you keep showing up that you're you're fucked, you know. I think a lot of people are really afraid of committing to the wrong person. And especially if loyalty is a trait that you inhabit easily, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:26:39

Yeah, I mean, and also it's like the the expectations have ruined relationships because the problem is like it's like yes, there are ally relationships where like this guy makes a million bucks a year. Yeah, so you're good financially, like the but the most relationships you are gonna struggle. Yeah, you're just there's a period of time where like you will have to struggle together to get to this thing that you guys both envisioned. Yeah, and they're just it's not like that anymore. People don't want to struggle, like it's instant gratification. So if you're not like if you're like going up to a girl and you're like, yeah, I'm pursuing this thing and like in whatever time, but they don't want to be along for that ride. It's hard to find that. Yeah, most of them are not down for that, but it's like that's the reality of life, like so you're basically throwing away this shit because I don't have what you want right now, and it's like most people don't have what you have right now, yeah. But what you have is like a potential for even better, because like you survived together, and I think my parents did that, like they started from nothing, and um over time things worked out, you know, and like that's the most beautiful story you could have. Why would you want anything different than that?

SPEAKER_01: 1:28:05

I mean, I understand why people want different things, but forever feels scary if all you're met with is uncertainty. And we're just pre-programmed to highlight all the uncertainty right now. And uncertainty feels super terrorizing to most people. Like they don't want to be uncertain about anything, and yet I don't know. I feel like in dating, whenever there was a certainty, if I was like, oh, I feel certain about this person, it was never, it never worked out. It was a very bad relationship. It was a very, it was like a very painful outcome, you know. Like that certainty is a very bad feeling. Like you think it's a good one, but it's not basically like a certain death, essentially, is how I like how how I see that feeling. But the uncertainty, that's healthy. Like, it's like you know, you're allowed to doubt things, you're allowed to question, you're allowed to have conversations that aren't the sexiest, you know, and you're allowed to not know. I think that's that's good. That's good dating. But I agree with you about that's like what I said.

SPEAKER_06: 1:29:06

Women like security. Women need security.

SPEAKER_01: 1:29:09

And um you do have to provide that, but like there's different levels of there's different types of security, yeah. If that's what you're saying.

SPEAKER_06: 1:29:17

Yeah, like obviously if you're like if you're like in a shoebox and like you're but like the security of like that you got each other, that's the best thing you got. And like there's no s like people would throw that stuff away. People will absolutely throw that stuff away because um of their own individual uh insecurities, ideas or whatever it is, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:29:43

Yeah, they will. I think that yeah, knowing your values is pretty important. A lot of people don't actually know their values. Like a lot of people don't know what their values are, they think that they do, but if you had a whole fucking list, they would be like, oh, that's surprising, you know?

SPEAKER_06: 1:29:59

Oh, I couldn't.

SPEAKER_01: 1:30:00

Like someone thinks that value or that that love is maybe their core value, and it doesn't even make the list of five, really.

SPEAKER_06: 1:30:05

Because you're like, no, there's no value.

SPEAKER_01: 1:30:07

Love's not even love is a value?

SPEAKER_06: 1:30:09

No.

SPEAKER_01: 1:30:10

Well, what is love?

SPEAKER_06: 1:30:11

Love is like the the things I already said. Like loyalty, like um uh perseverance, um, like understanding.

SPEAKER_01: 1:30:21

Okay, so how that's what love is. So that's how that's how you accept love, and that's how you get love.

SPEAKER_06: 1:30:25

No, that's what love is. Love is not like a thing.

SPEAKER_01: 1:30:28

But I mean I guess I wouldn't define it that way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:30:33

To uh it's unconditional. But like most love is conditional. So it's not love.

SPEAKER_01: 1:30:40

Liking is conditional, I think. Which is why love is so important. Because there are moments moments for me where I have been dating someone and I'm like, wow, I really love you, but I'm not like you right now. I do not like you. Yeah, that's most marriages. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:30:58

That's but that's what's that's kind of what you're supposed to do. Like, yeah, of course you're not gonna like the person that you see every every damn day, but like you're not gonna break up with them because you don't like, oh, I don't like you because I see your ass all day. Like, yeah, of course. You're gonna get annoyed with me, but like that doesn't cause grounds for like Yeah, the love is like under like because then you start to focus on the negatives, and that's not even a healthy way to live anyway. So you're you're basically like kind of um sabotaging yourself. You know?

SPEAKER_01: 1:31:33

Self-sabotage. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:31:36

Yeah, in other words, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:31:37

Yeah. That I think happens a lot for most people who are a lot of people. Even if it's fucking good. Man, how many times have you had like a friend that couldn't stop talking about someone that they just met overseeing and then suddenly it was just done, like it was over. Have you like, what happened? And they're like, well, this happened and it's never valid enough. But it's just whatever happened in their head between here and here, done out.

SPEAKER_06: 1:32:03

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's it's crazy, man. People get really hurt by uh things like that.

SPEAKER_01: 1:32:10

It makes it hard to trust for sure.

SPEAKER_06: 1:32:13

Yeah, it really you get you can get really um betrayed.

SPEAKER_05: 1:32:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:32:20

Right? It's um like I always say, women be tripping, man. Women be tripping.

SPEAKER_01: 1:32:28

Men keep stick sticking their foot out, you know?

SPEAKER_06: 1:32:33

Nah, it's usually like it's like you trip on your own feet. That's really what it is. It's like walking and you hit like the little sidewalk that's like a little raised, right? And then you stuff your toe.

SPEAKER_01: 1:32:42

Damsel in distress, that always works out in the movies. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_06: 1:32:45

Yeah, that's the problem. Life is not a movie, and movies are that is such a big problem. The rom coms have ruined shit.

SPEAKER_01: 1:32:53

I know, but also there's a lot of validity to cliches. Like cliches happen all the time and they exist for a reason. Yeah, but I think there's like something to that for like a life experience where it's okay for a cliche to actually mean something really good. And you you know what I mean? You don't have to shit on something because it like happened a certain way. Yeah. But also we hate it, you know.

SPEAKER_06: 1:33:18

They don't have sleepless in Seattle like a year later. Like they kiss at the end and then they roll the credits. Like a year later, she's like, Oh my god, you're so annoying, pick up your fucking clothes.

SPEAKER_01: 1:33:31

Well, it's a genre.

SPEAKER_06: 1:33:33

Yeah, but it's a it's like a fantasy. It's a fantasy, that's what it is.

SPEAKER_01: 1:33:37

And an experience to guide you. I mean, because I have rom-com moments. I've had so many rom-com moments in my life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:33:44

Moments.

SPEAKER_01: 1:33:44

And I would string all those together and tell a story. But I've also had the, you know, terrorizing moments that would be a very epic thriller, I think. And the really sad ones where people cry in a theater.

SPEAKER_06: 1:33:58

Yeah, but they're all moments.

SPEAKER_01: 1:34:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:34:01

So it's like, but people look at it as like, that's my story. Yeah. And then the bride gets married, and all the girls in the comments, like, oh my god, most beautiful bride I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_01: 1:34:10

I know. It's it is it's challenging with wedding culture. I mean, for a lot of people, that's the day that they get to shine the most. So it's kind of sad, actually. Like, that's the day where they like, you know, if that's your trajectory, a lot of women is particularly get really excited about wedding day.

SPEAKER_06: 1:34:28

I think they should ban can ban social media on weddings.

SPEAKER_01: 1:34:32

Ooh.

SPEAKER_06: 1:34:33

Yeah, let's see who wants to get married now.

unknown: 1:34:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:34:35

I mean, that's fucking everything.

unknown: 1:34:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:34:38

Do you think people were doing van life if they didn't get to show the world that they were doing van life?

SPEAKER_06: 1:34:42

Yeah, girls like that.

SPEAKER_01: 1:34:43

I mean, who's gonna do this if you people aren't watching? Like, how many things that people would be doing if someone was not watching them do it?

SPEAKER_06: 1:34:50

Oh, it'd be 98% of people.

SPEAKER_01: 1:34:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:34:54

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 1:34:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:34:56

I saw a girl, this made me mad. She uh was like traveling, and then her comment was like, like, life's too short to take risks. I'm like, you're traveling. You have money. Like that's not a risk.

SPEAKER_01: 1:35:07

Yeah. Now to not take risks. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 1:35:10

I'm like, that's not a risk. You're just like enjoying the luxuries of money. That's the least risk ever.

SPEAKER_01: 1:35:16

Just using a quote to fill content and having no real hold on what it means.

SPEAKER_06: 1:35:22

Yeah, to try to act like you're not just having an awesome time. Like it's somehow like you take like doing this brave thing.

SPEAKER_01: 1:35:32

I know. It's kind of sad actually, if you think about it, because uh if someone legitimately does feel that they're doing this it's not that maybe you're not, but also would you be doing it if you weren't supported in every facet of the way? Like there's a lot of stuff that people wouldn't be doing if it really came down to having a choice between yeah, financial security or not. Like I heard a I had an interview, I really love listening to actors talk about their craft in the industry. And they were talking about LA just mostly being kids and and you know, actors whose parents are like totally paying for them to live in LA. Like they're pursuing this thing, but they can because the industry is now one that you have to like be bought into or like grow up into, because like to go out there of your own accord. I mean, you would have to have such a sacrifice as to how you're showing up and like what you're willing to go without if you were doing the full fucking Monty, you know? Or have a fucking Yeah, yeah, career path that gives you time to to audition and try out and push hold.

SPEAKER_06: 1:36:37

Oh yeah. Oh, let me just say this because this annoyed me too. Uh how about a person, it's always a girl, but uh who's on like a beach and then she's like post like on island time. And it's like you're not on island time, you post it on the internet. Like if you were on island time, you'd be fucking drinking a coconut and no one would know where you're at. That's not island time. So sick of that shit. So sick of it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:37:00

Yeah. Don't interact with those ones. I don't, I just look.

SPEAKER_06: 1:37:04

I mean, they follow them and then you see it, and you're just like, it's so annoying.

SPEAKER_01: 1:37:07

It's like disorienting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:37:09

You literally, it's like, oh gosh, I hate it.

unknown: 1:37:12

No.

SPEAKER_01: 1:37:13

I I one of my one something I gripe about is that especially in the design world and like the graphic design world or logo design, whatever it is, like I people will talk about like clients that they've signed or whatnot, or like projects that they're working on, or like how much they're making, and they'll and their whole industry, like how they're supporting themselves is really just talking about what they're doing. But like, if you look at what they're doing, it's really bad. Like it's not good design, it's real shit. Like it's absolute garbage. And I'm like, man, you're just it's like insane to me where I'm like, man, where are the good designers? And the good designers usually aren't fucking talking about what they're doing. They're out, you know what I mean? That the really great designer is asked, you know, someone asks for their portfolio and they're like, fuck, okay. And it like puts a fucking I put everything on hold to like catch their portfolio up to speed because they're not on the sidelines, like showing the world what they're doing. They're actually doing it, you know, which I think kind of goes back to what you're saying about comedy where you're not putting all this effort into like showing the world your jokes online because you want them to see it and the real fucking arena.

SPEAKER_06: 1:38:16

Well, yeah, you just want to become you want to act.

SPEAKER_01: 1:38:18

And also you don't owe them anything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:38:21

Like that's what I like. Yeah, I like being good at stuff. That's what makes me feel good. You know what I mean? Like, it's not about like showing them, it's like actually earning it. I am a purist. Yeah, and that's the sports in me. That really is. It's like, yeah, that's why you practice.

SPEAKER_03: 1:38:38

How do you take your coffee?

SPEAKER_06: 1:38:40

Yo, I was I drank black coffee. I'm straight up. I drink black coffee from the second I started drinking coffee, let's say say 12 years.

SPEAKER_01: 1:38:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_06: 1:38:54

I just started drinking lattes with whole milk.

SPEAKER_01: 1:38:59

Recently?

SPEAKER_06: 1:39:00

Oh, they're so nice. I just love the whole milk in there. I never knew. I was drinking black coffee for 12 years. These lattes have changed my life. Yeah. Little pricey. And then these bitches want to get 15% tip. It's like, bro, chill the chill the shit. I know. Chill the fuck out. But these lattes, these theme the shit up. Shit, I'll take the love little um fucking symbol.

SPEAKER_01: 1:39:21

Yeah. Put a design, put a little leaf in my cup. I I have a theory that the the most hardcore, the most pretentious of coffee drinkers is actually the black coffee. Pretentious. Yeah, because like you can say that you love I mean espresso is definitely elitist. Like I like to say espresso or feeling. And I give you I give you some really just basic ass coffee because that was what was available.

SPEAKER_06: 1:39:47

But I was gonna drink it, but then you hit me with this polar.

SPEAKER_01: 1:39:51

Oh, okay. I just wanted you I just didn't know where your levels were, and I wanted you to get it. I didn't know either. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:39:55

But this is As you can see, I've got three to two.

SPEAKER_01: 1:39:58

Also, these those. Is a cortado and it still has something in it. Like if that I will ration out.

SPEAKER_06: 1:40:04

Oh, it's pretty good.

SPEAKER_01: 1:40:04

It's got like three shots in it, I think.

SPEAKER_06: 1:40:06

It's just espresso.

SPEAKER_01: 1:40:07

Blonde espresso. And then it's got um what happened to black milk? It's got a thick S. I mean this is oat milk, and it's like a brown sugar oat milk.

SPEAKER_06: 1:40:15

Oh, your note. Oh, they gave me oat the other day and it's had a whole biox in it and uh I'm gonna tell you something. Never do that to me again.

SPEAKER_01: 1:40:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:40:23

I I I wasn't that I wasn't a fan. Also, oat milk costs more than whole milk.

SPEAKER_01: 1:40:27

I know. They just make it this way. This is actually how Starbucks makes this one, but I like coconut milk. Honestly, it's worth that.

SPEAKER_06: 1:40:34

Coconut milk.

SPEAKER_01: 1:40:35

I think coconut milk, because it's the realest one other than milk. Like other than milk. You have to milk, you you know, you just get the it doesn't bother you that it's not milk. But coconut milk is sh actually from a coconut. So like you're opening it up and you're getting out all the stuff, and so it feels like the purest version, whereas oats, you're like steeping them. You know, it's like it's not, and it adds so much additives. So I'm not really on board with almond milk or oat milk, but yeah, they don't get to use the word milk. I know it's what I'm abusive. It's very abusive.

SPEAKER_06: 1:41:04

Yeah, it's like fucking stolen valor.

unknown: 1:41:06

No.

SPEAKER_01: 1:41:07

That's why words are great. You can just use them however you want, and you can make it a thing, and then it'll make you question everything that you knew to that moment.

SPEAKER_06: 1:41:14

But words are great. Yeah, English is bananas.

SPEAKER_01: 1:41:17

English is bananas.

SPEAKER_06: 1:41:19

It is. There's too many words. I was just thinking about that.

SPEAKER_03: 1:41:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:41:22

Too many words.

SPEAKER_03: 1:41:23

And also not enough.

SPEAKER_06: 1:41:24

Well, there's so many words that that are specific to one thing, and then there's words that like have the same meaning. So it's like or the same the same word has different meanings. I'm sorry. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01: 1:41:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do I do know. I do know. I I'm trying to think of one right off the side.

SPEAKER_06: 1:41:45

Stub your toe.

SPEAKER_01: 1:41:46

Mmm.

SPEAKER_06: 1:41:47

Jam your finger.

SPEAKER_01: 1:41:49

Okay. They're specific to that for some reason. Oh, I thought you were maybe saying that the word jam. Hold please.

SPEAKER_06: 1:41:59

It's jelly.

SPEAKER_01: 1:42:00

Well, yeah, like you can jam is it's you can be dancing to some fucking music, you know, jamming.

SPEAKER_06: 1:42:06

Yeah. Um I mean so many games.

SPEAKER_01: 1:42:08

Yeah, there's a lot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:42:10

So many.

SPEAKER_01: 1:42:11

You know, one that I heard recently that I really fucking liked was the word rich. Because yeah. And it was she was talking about one of the characters that she is playing, and she said that she was very rich, like she has she's very rich. Like she's got a very rich landscape inside of her. And so, and I was like, oh, fucking I just love that. Yeah. But it felt like it was combining the word rich as in like rich as fuck, like having a bunch of money, and then also like the word rich as in texture. Like it's the this cake has great combo. But it's like both in the same sentence, and I was like, I really, really enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_06: 1:42:49

Yeah, that's I mean, there's it's just it's getting out of hand, honestly. You think it's felt like time's just going on too much when we're like we don't have enough words.

SPEAKER_01: 1:42:56

We don't.

SPEAKER_06: 1:42:57

So it's now like each word just is like a new thing every 10 years.

SPEAKER_01: 1:43:00

We need it to be almost immediately, too. Because like, how else do you know where you are in time? And how can you judge someone for the words that they're using? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:43:10

That's that's there's no way we're in the year 2025, I'll tell you. Oh, yeah. That's real. What is up with that?

SPEAKER_04: 1:43:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:43:18

What are we talking about? How are we in that year? How do we know what I mean? What are we talking about? We don't know anything.

SPEAKER_01: 1:43:24

How do you feel about age?

SPEAKER_06: 1:43:26

Age is you just are there's old young people and there's young old people.

SPEAKER_01: 1:43:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:43:32

So what is age?

SPEAKER_01: 1:43:34

I definitely think it's limiting belief. Like, I don't think it's very helpful.

SPEAKER_06: 1:43:37

I think you get old when you start saying you're too old for something.

SPEAKER_01: 1:43:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:43:41

When you're like, oh, you want to go play bass, but it's like, ah, I'm too old for that. Well, yeah, now you're an old fart.

SPEAKER_01: 1:43:47

Yeah, I've noticed that people when the people start talking that way, I'm like, oh no. Like there, because I can hear that there's like a little bit of joy as if they get to like stop doing something. So they're like, oh no, you know, I'm old now or something. I'm like, what are you talking about? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:44:02

I don't like that.

SPEAKER_01: 1:44:04

You know, there's things that maybe I'll outgrow. And I think that's a healthy fucking that's a growth mindset where I'm like, yeah, I'm not gonna do this avoidant man thing anymore type thing. You know, like I'm not I'm not gonna do that actually. I think I've outgrown that.

SPEAKER_06: 1:44:16

But I don't know what that's here's a here's a little conundrum women have. Okay. Women hate getting older, right? They hate telling you your age, but god damn, their fucking birthday is the biggest damn celebration of the month. They get birthday months.

SPEAKER_01: 1:44:30

I think people should have birthdays. Do you know like birthdays?

SPEAKER_06: 1:44:33

You know birthdays.

SPEAKER_01: 1:44:35

I don't know. Birthdays are great. Yeah. Birthdays are birthdays where I don't want to celebrate.

SPEAKER_06: 1:44:40

So yeah, I agree. I don't it's just another day. I think it's I think it's important. I think that because what is it?

SPEAKER_01: 1:44:45

Some people don't have things to celebrate, honestly.

SPEAKER_06: 1:44:49

You should celebrate your your successes.

SPEAKER_01: 1:44:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:44:53

Celebrate your joys.

SPEAKER_01: 1:44:54

What's something you want to celebrate about yourself?

SPEAKER_06: 1:44:58

Celebrate my new jacket I got. Oh fuck yeah. Tell me about it. This guy gave it to me for free.

SPEAKER_04: 1:45:07

Damn. What's it look like?

SPEAKER_06: 1:45:09

It's green.

SPEAKER_04: 1:45:10

Okay. Like a bright green? Uh like a dog or green.

SPEAKER_01: 1:45:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 1:45:16

Uh, it's pretty nice. We can celebrate that.

SPEAKER_01: 1:45:19

You're gonna wear it tomorrow when it's like 50 degrees in the morning.

SPEAKER_06: 1:45:21

Uh, I wore it this morning actually. I woke up and I needed a little jacket and uh just threw that puppy on and uh I felt good. I felt real good. I was very happy with it.

SPEAKER_03: 1:45:30

I really like that for you.

SPEAKER_06: 1:45:32

Thank you very much. Thank you. Uh yeah, just just uh celebrate my journey. How about that? That's the gayest thing I'm ever gonna say. Uh but uh because one day, one day this shit's gonna be good. It'll be good.

SPEAKER_01: 1:45:46

He's already rich.

SPEAKER_06: 1:45:48

Yeah, I'm loaded. I'm loaded. I am rich. You are not in money, but I'm rich in other things, and that's more important.

SPEAKER_01: 1:45:56

Rich as fuck.

SPEAKER_06: 1:45:57

As long as you can eat enough to uh be good. Sometimes I sometimes I don't.

SPEAKER_01: 1:46:05

You're rich in truth. Okay, and that sounds like such a hashtag, but like I legitimately.

SPEAKER_06: 1:46:10

Are you talking about me in general?

SPEAKER_01: 1:46:11

Yeah, like you're doing what you want to do. That's the realest fucking richness you can have, is to not be putting on a show.

SPEAKER_06: 1:46:19

Yeah, I wish I had a truth bank account. That'd be sick.

SPEAKER_01: 1:46:21

I know, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:46:22

Dan, that would be a great bank account. I wouldn't uh I wouldn't have to pay a f uh a monthly payment every month like I do.

SPEAKER_01: 1:46:28

Would that be like a meritocracy or something where you just kind of like save someone else's like, yeah, they're not very no, they're not living in truth. You just kind of decide other people's other people's like financial status. I wish we lived in meritocracy.

SPEAKER_06: 1:46:39

That'd be nice.

SPEAKER_01: 1:46:40

Do you want to?

SPEAKER_06: 1:46:41

I think everyone should. Oh, okay. That's that's the perfect situation.

SPEAKER_01: 1:46:45

My understanding of a meritocracy is when you kind of collectively decide on someone else's.

SPEAKER_06: 1:46:50

No, opposite.

SPEAKER_01: 1:46:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 1:46:52

What what it's no meritocracy is when uh the best. Like uh sports is the best example of a meritocracy. Okay. In the purest form. The best players uh the best are the best.

SPEAKER_03: 1:47:04

Yeah, but who decides on the best?

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:06

Like you would argue that like like um maybe politics isn't a meritocracy. Like those people are more chosen by some interests.

SPEAKER_04: 1:47:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:17

Or like uh like Hollywood.

SPEAKER_04: 1:47:20

Right.

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:20

Like uh are they the best actors really? Is there not someone who's better than that?

SPEAKER_01: 1:47:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:25

But like if you take like your high school sports team.

SPEAKER_01: 1:47:27

Truly on performance.

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:28

And there's 10, they need 10 players.

SPEAKER_01: 1:47:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:31

The best 10 players are most likely until like a coach is like, oh, I want my son on the team, and his son sucks. That's not a meritocracy.

SPEAKER_01: 1:47:40

Because that's is a meritocracy more of like a ranking system, though?

SPEAKER_06: 1:47:44

Where it's it's just when there's like a free, it's just a free competition and the best people rise to the top.

SPEAKER_01: 1:47:50

But I feel like sports especially work in that way because there is a system uh like what we talked about with baseball that you have and you can bat 300, and that's kind of like you're doing a measurement.

SPEAKER_06: 1:48:00

Yeah, there's a measurement that you can face.

SPEAKER_01: 1:48:03

Yes, but in other words, a meritocracy could be very wrong, too, because you could have a a system, a merit system, I guess that's not actually beneficial for everybody. Right?

SPEAKER_06: 1:48:13

In a pure meritocracy, that's that's the most ideal situation.

SPEAKER_01: 1:48:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 1:48:17

The problem is things get in the way of that. Money get in the way of that, people's interests get in the way of that. You know what I mean? It's like it's like if you're working at a job and then this dude like hisses ass and he gets the promotion. That's not a meritocracy. That guy sucked his sucked some ass to get to the top. So it's not it was the best candidate didn't get the promotion. That's not a meritocracy.

SPEAKER_01: 1:48:38

It wasn't a merit-based but if it was all based on ass sucking, then he's exactly.

SPEAKER_06: 1:48:45

Yes, if he's sucking ass fantastically, then I understand in the ass sucking in business you want to do.

SPEAKER_01: 1:48:50

And he perseveres.

SPEAKER_06: 1:48:51

He perseveres through a hairy ass, and those showing up. That guy sucks the shit out of those asses. Um so yeah, that that would that's what that is.

SPEAKER_03: 1:48:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 1:49:01

Yeah. But we don't live in a maritime. No, I know that basically.

SPEAKER_03: 1:49:04

I know that.

SPEAKER_06: 1:49:04

Obviously.

SPEAKER_03: 1:49:05

I do know that part.

SPEAKER_06: 1:49:06

I mean, it's kind of impossible. You can do it in like small Increments. Like, yes. Controlled environments. Controlled environments. But then when the when the money gets involved. Money be corrupt and man.

SPEAKER_01: 1:49:21

No, it can be so good too. People are doing good things with it. People are doing nothing with it, and some people are doing very selfish things.

SPEAKER_06: 1:49:30

I'm sick of big charities.

SPEAKER_03: 1:49:32

Ooh.

SPEAKER_06: 1:49:34

Okay. That really bugs me.

SPEAKER_03: 1:49:36

Why?

SPEAKER_06: 1:49:36

Because it's like give it to someone.

SPEAKER_03: 1:49:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:49:39

What happened to that?

SPEAKER_03: 1:49:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:49:41

Like give it to the guy on the street. Why doesn't he just get the charity? Like, I don't like giving to this like broad company charity where like the CEO of a charity somehow makes a million bucks and it's like, where's the money even going? You know? Just give it to a guy. That's charity.

SPEAKER_01: 1:50:01

That is charity. What is something that you like if you know when you hit this moment of just everything aligning and you're feeling fucking you're feeling a thing, like the three years from now, or one year from now, or whatever it is, when you're like everything's showing itself and your world's kind of reflecting your inner landscape, right? And it feels good and solid. Like, is there something that you're gonna see in other people, like right now in the grind, that's gonna stick out to you? We're gonna be like you in other people. Yeah, is there gonna be a thing? Like, what I don't know, but I feel like if someone was in my position, like I would know what to give her. You know what I mean? Like if I saw her, I'd be like, oh, I know how to help you. Like, do you have do you know what that is? Like, do you know how you're gonna help?

SPEAKER_06: 1:50:43

I don't know if I understand the question, to be honest. Well, I like to ask complicated questions, but I I also I think it changed along the way, so I just genuinely my dream is to be uh a headliner, yeah, make uh whatever substantial amount of money, uh, provide and be the best like dad and supporter and uh just help other people. Like I just wanna I like I love giving a dude like I wish I could give a guy, a homeless guy, a hundred bucks every time. Yeah, I wish I could do that. That would be so cool. I would love to do that. Yeah, but uh I can't. I can give him a buck, yeah, sometimes a five, but like, yeah, that's that's what I want to do. I just want to just make a lot of money, drive like a shitty Toyota Corolla. I'm good, I don't care about that, and uh live in a cool spot, I guess, whatever, and then support the people I love, and then um my boy Black Mamba down uh on Central Avenue because that guy's the man. There's a guy named Black Mamba, this homeless guy.

SPEAKER_03: 1:51:53

I think I have heard this. Tell me about him.

SPEAKER_06: 1:51:55

This dude is such a fucking legend. I love this guy. He's this homeless guy. I see him all the time. I always buy him food if I see him, right? This dude, like, he just walks around and says, uh, he says, stay positive.

SPEAKER_03: 1:52:09

Stay positive.

SPEAKER_06: 1:52:10

Then he just keeps saying that. Like, obviously he's got a little something wrong with him. But like, I'm like, this guy is like, think about that. This dude is homeless, weighs like 90 pounds, because he's you know, probably not too much, yeah. And he's just saying stay positive. I'm like, this is the greatest guy I've ever met in my life. That's crazy. And then I'm complaining about shit. How are you gonna complain when black mob is down the street hungry as shit, staying sorry saying stay positive?

SPEAKER_03: 1:52:43

Do you have a mantra? Or is there something that you kind of like? Stay positive.

SPEAKER_06: 1:52:49

Uh nah, I don't have a mantra, man. I don't know what my mantra would be. No.

SPEAKER_01: 1:52:55

Well, do you have anything that like gets you through a moment where or you just think about it, or there's some sort of like catalyst that like gets you back on track and moments of I don't know. Doubt or or I don't know. Maybe like when you if your head gets too big or whatever it is, you know, there's something that kind of you turn the switch on and it helps you through the moment or it gets you back on track.

SPEAKER_06: 1:53:18

Just rub some dirt on it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:53:19

Just okay. Rub some.

SPEAKER_03: 1:53:20

Oh wait, is that the saying? Rub some dirt on it. Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 1:53:23

Yeah. I mean, that's if you fuck up. I mean, yeah, if your head gets too big, I guess. That's that's not good. You gotta fucking get back to it.

SPEAKER_05: 1:53:30

Has it happened yet? Um he smiled. No, I'm sure there's moments, but like never like, yeah.

SPEAKER_06: 1:53:39

But it in okay, but like even if it does, it doesn't matter because comedy is such a brutal like endeavor. Like it's and just deflate and Yeah, you'll be doing like a dog shit show and then you're like fuck, and then you're back. So yeah, it doesn't even matter.

SPEAKER_01: 1:53:55

So you're really good at riding a roller coaster.

SPEAKER_06: 1:53:59

Yeah. Yeah. I'm good at riding, I'm not real roller coaster. I'll throw up. I threw up on a swinging ship one time.

SPEAKER_01: 1:54:05

Wow. Yeah, I get annoyed. Like projectile or just romantic.

SPEAKER_06: 1:54:10

Yeah, it was very romantic. Uh but um, yeah, life's a roller coaster and uh you just got a riot.

SPEAKER_01: 1:54:17

And it's like And you are, you are writing it.

SPEAKER_06: 1:54:20

Thanks. I appreciate it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:54:23

And that was Jake Poland. If you are in Tampa or St. Pete and you want to see some comedy, hear some comedy, laugh, giggle, um, feel inappropriate, lit up, inspired, all of those things you should see. Jake um he is doing many shows all week long. And so I'm gonna drop his handle here in the details of the episode. And you can also probably uh find him at The Gimmick or St. Pete Comedy Club. Uh uh lots of lots of opportunities. I uh really appreciate the Jake that you uh had some time to talk with me. Um I felt uh I felt seen and understood. And uh although I do not agree with Jake on some of his viewpoints as far as like relationships, I I definitely understand. And appreciate that everybody wants what they want. And I mean that's the type of world that I want to live in where you can you can want what you want and uh it could be the right thing for you. So funny people are wildly inspiring because they're usually saying the thing that most people are afraid to say and hopefully you can head out into your day or into your evening or into whatever part of your life you're in at this moment and feel a little bit of that energy and and say the thing and maybe get a laugh or maybe be okay with the silence.