Musings: Have You Tried Patience?

Your plan can be solid and yet—fall apart. Mo begins with a simple question, “How does the word patience make you feel?”, then follow the thread into what happens when timelines slip, progress looks messy, and you’re tempted to decide it “isn’t meant to be.” If you’ve ever felt foolish for believing you could control the outcome, you’re not alone and you’re not broken. 

In this episode Mo talk’s about patience as an active creative practice, not passive waiting: the kind that keeps you learning guitar, writing music, painting, or building any skill when your results don’t match your taste yet. We get into the ego cycle that shows up mid-practice, the brief flashes of “oh wow, this is why I’m here,” and the darker moments when self-doubt gets loud enough to make you quit. Mo share’s the gentler, repeatable self-talk that helps her return tomorrow, take rest days without shame, and keep faith intact while she’s still in the mess of the middle. 

You’ll also hear how learning style matters, especially for kinetic learners who need movement and hands-on repetition to retain information, plus why structured lessons and fundamentals can actually create more freedom later. The truth of this episode is in the uncomfortable question of: Why do we need reassurance if we truly trust this will work out? If this hits home, subscribe, share the episode with a friend who’s building something, and leave a quick review so more creators can find it.

Instagram: @tiam.podcast &  @joyscout.mo 

For Guest Inquiries, collaborations, and questions:

Email Mo: mo@joyscoutstudio.com

“Don’t get Deterred, get Inspired” 

Transcript

When Plans Fall Apart

SPEAKER_01 0:11

How does the word patience make you feel?

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Have you told me that you had had a great plan and you'd been sticking to the plan, and yet the plan did not stick to you, and it fell apart, and all the sticky parts are sticking to other things, and things are sticky, and and yet there's confusion and a little bit of of sense being put together within the pieces that didn't really go together in the way that you thought that they would. And that this path is kind of becoming itself. And and yet you have a little bit of frustration because you're like, why would I plan anything? If it wasn't, if it if it's, you know, like what a what a fool we are. What a fool we is to be to be planning something. Because things just don't rarely go to plan. Like it just makes an absolute fool out of you to to think that you have any control over the course in which reality flows through you and around you. You know, it takes the pieces that it can work with and it laughs at the pieces or or or forgets them or knocks them over or crushes them that just don't that, you know, are unnecessary.

Patience As A Real Gift

SPEAKER_00 1:30

And it's a humbling experience and one lately that has reminded me of the lesson in which I seem to always forget, has many, many, many iterations, which is the great lesson of patience. Because maybe this is the most juvenile aspect of my student learning brain, but I'm of the belief that when I have had lessons of patience that show themselves to me, and that seems to be like a theme. I check the patience box and I think, well, I'm good here, and never again do I have to do this. Because I took that class, I passed that course, um, you know, maybe not with flying colors, but I got there, and I just I and I and I'm like, and we're good, we're good forever, right? And yet it comebacks around, it comes back around, it comes back around. And right now I'm in one of those moments, and maybe you are too.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

And what I've learned this time around is that gosh, I patience is actually a great, great gift.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

And be and it and I and I think of it like like this, because it's a as a very gracious gift to give somebody else, which is a little bit of patience, especially if they are feeling the weight of the world on doing something or have a lot going on, or have never done this thing before, or maybe are failing you in some way. To be able to have a little bit of patience um is a great gift to give that person, but in that same that same sense, the the patience that I am learning to give myself is that same feeling because I I am deeply in love and and have a profound call to be able to play quite a few instruments, at least to the extent in which I can start performing and writing my own music, or at least have a structured sense of like a vernacular in order to talk with other musicians

The Ego Crash In Practice

SPEAKER_00 4:00

in order to make music. And I have a rhythmic way of living my life, and a rhythmic way of speaking, and a rhythmic way of writing, and a rhythmic way of of creating song. And yet there's a bridge that I need to be able to build or at least identify when someone else can build it and is my person to be writing music with. And that requires me to sit down and put time and effort into learning these pieces. And um, I'll get I looked at my my clock and it was 444 when I said that. And that felt pretty good because that has been a number that has popped up all of today.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Um all of today. A wonderful day, a wonderful day that has led me to this recording here.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

And when you are learning something, no matter how deeply you feel as though this is yours and it exists inside of you, there is still the human flesh about you that needs to learn the routine of it, like learn the the safety of it, um, be able to surrender to the moment and to learn something. And you're not always gonna have those elements and you're not always going to advance to this next next teaching or the next part, or you know, and it's the same that I'm finding as I'm spending so much time in my new studio space. Like I I have these multiple paintings that I've started, and I'm thinking that I will just show up, just start whipping out these paint, and just break through and have the most profound and divine stylistic execution. And what I find is like 20 minutes in, then I'm like, what the fuck is this? What am I doing? Like, who who am I not as good as I think that I am? And you know, you have the the dismantling of your that perfectly, the perfectly, what's the word? It is your ego, but it's like the perfect ego that got you to the paintbrush, and the perfect ego that got you to pick up the guitar, and the perfect ego that got you to start doing whatever it is that you're trying to learn so that you can fill the the void with all of the sense that you're trying to make through continued action and learning and connection and just hard work and um and all of this, all of this, sometimes you just think will be like, well, I'm showing up and it is not in the thesis, this is not good. What I'm making is not yet good. And you have moments where you're like, oh shit, this is good. Like you have a you have a glimpse of it, and you make a connection, and you're like, this is exactly why I'm here. And you are like, I am a musical genius or an artistic genius, or you know, whatever path you're on right now. You are an SEO genius, you are a wonderful motorcyclist, you are the most choreographed, most flexible dancer on the dance floor, whatever it is. You have moments where you're you can feed that ego enough to satiate it so that it keeps coming back for more. And at the same time, the appetite that you're trying to nourish is that of a healthy, a healthy bit of of internalized patience with yourself and how to create an environment in which that can like it's like gut health or something. Like you have to be able to prosper in the the moment of stuff not making any sense or not being anywhere near as good as you think that you should be or that you feel that you should be, which I always find to be the most heartbreaking when you're like, I like I feel that this is it, but you know, sometimes the logic of it or just the moment of it or the feeling is just not good. And it makes you want to quit or cry or yell or just say not nice things and and and question and doubt. And if that happens enough times, yeah, you lose faith. You l really lose faith. And it's a scary place to be without faith. And I think that when I say that patience is this gift, I want to say it I want to say it in a way that another version of me would be able to hold

Self-Patience When You Want To Quit

SPEAKER_00 8:40

space for it and be like, oh yeah, that is it. Because if even a month ago, if you'd been like, well, patience is a gift, Morgan, I'd be like, why don't you go fuck yourself? Because it doesn't fail God, you know, like like I didn't ask for this gift. And yet if you can practice patience, it is like this salve of of it's okay. It's okay. It is it is okay. This is not forever. This is one moment and it's okay, and I think it's okay that you are a fumbling fool right now. Okay, you're gonna come back tomorrow and I'm gonna be here and you're gonna be here and we're gonna do it again, and then you're gonna come back the day after that, and we're gonna do it again, and then the day after that, you're gonna take a rest day, okay? And then you're gonna come back the next day and we're gonna go again, and I'm gonna keep being here. Just showing up and and having patience to know that you want to be here and I want to be here, and we're making something, and we are not going to rush it, and we're not gonna try and define it if we can't get our hands and our minds and our grip onto it. We're just going to give it some room and and all of the energy that we can, which says that I want to be here and I fucking care. And there's a part of me that is so deeply exposed and vulnerable in doing this because if it doesn't work, I'm afraid that, you know, you're so afraid when you want something so badly, if it's not working, that maybe you were wrong, you know, and it hurts and it's scary. And that's where that that lack of patience comes up because you're just like, is this it? Should I am I not supposed to be doing this? Like, is this not my thing? Is this not my thing? And it is. It it is your thing until you pick something up that feels better, that feels more aligned, or until that moment where you're like, oh, I can do this.

Kinetic Learning And Guitar Progress

SPEAKER_00 10:33

And it's just and it's like I remember moments, this these this guitar, um, the lessons I'm doing, it's called Pickup Music, and it's and it's an app. And I've I've tried a couple different, you know, YouTube channels and different types of of apps, but this is more of an absolute lesson plan that is online. Um it's called Pickup Music, and the teachers are, they get it. And recently, like, you know, and I always knew that I was a kinetic learner, but I didn't, I wanted to understand like at what capacity, like at what what is the percentage towards other types of learning, and like what exactly are their types of learning? Because I I just know that when it comes to memorization or um really a a deeply impacted learning that I can recall for memorization or over time, or especially like like visual walking into a space and being able to draw at that space after only seeing it one time or or remembering like the texture and the feel of a person, but maybe not their face or their name, which I think is very strange. But that there are like that kinetic part of learning is like you have to feel it and has like that tangible thing. And so to move around or to be fidgeting or to be doodling, I was such a doodler in school, is a more impactful way to learn things because it's like you are creating rhythm and action to accommodate this very physical need to make sense of visually what you're seeing or what you're listening to. And and it's really made a huge, but you know, the more that I learn about this, the more that I'm like, there are some things that I don't need to know right now, and I'll get there when I get there, but I need to know the basics so that I can just start making music. I'm trying to get into the part where I know enough that I'm not gonna be fumbling all over myself or or in this series of choices that lead me to doubt to to lead other people to doubt me, you know, like you you want to be playing enough of the game of of music and the institution of music and to participate in the rules enough to to be taken seriously and to not know too much so that I can break rules and break break beliefs, you know, like like break break into break into it. And when I I mean like if you know enough to have a conversation about something, you can really expand someone's mind or or change the way something works or wake somebody up or bring in newness by opening a door where there wasn't one before by not knowing too much. You never you never want to know too much because it builds it keeps you locked in a room. You know what I mean? Like if you it's very hard to see new ways and new avenues of where to go when you feel as though you've learned everything. And you never really have learned everything. There's always a new way to look at something, there's always a new way to experience something. With this experience of of learning and practicing, I'm like, I'm excited about the pace and the patience that these teachers are are doing it. And and I'm like, man, I think so many of my learning experiences as like a kid or a young adult would have been so much more, you know, I would have stuck with something so much longer had it been just had so much more faith in you. And like just being like, we're gonna tell you how to do this, and then that's it. You know, there's nothing, there's no, there's not really you're doing this wrong right now. It's just like, let's just get these basics down and we're gonna have fun. Like it is such a a feeling of needing to have fun in what you're doing.

Needing Fun To Stay With It

SPEAKER_00 14:20

And that I think that just leads me right back to to having patience because um I get really scared if I'm not like I'll get into bouts of like not having fun. Like right now in life, I would not say I'm having a lot of fun. Not my type of fun. Like I like physical activity and traveling and cooking and and eating and definitely some love making. Like I am and I like all of these things, and like the very hedonistic life is fun, I think. And at the moment there's you know, that's kind of put aside a little bit where I'm just trying to really show up for every avenue and get these pieces in line and like have these have this plan and this agenda. And um I think I get scared if I have a plan and an agenda, and then it doesn't, you

The Chariot Renovation Gets Delayed

SPEAKER_00 15:12

know what I mean? Like we were supposed to be working on the my studio trailer renovation, the chariot renovation. I'm sitting inside of the chariot right now, parked right outside of the bay side of my studio. And I thought on June 1st that I was gonna be working on the exterior of this this project. I thought we were gonna, I was gonna be day one into skinning off, you know, layers of of paint and and decals to start buffing down the trailer and to, you know, within a week or two start adding a new, a new shiny coat and really have the exterior in a in a place that makes me feel like I have checked off one of the biggest boxes on this on this years-long project of mine. And and it didn't happen on the first. Like we had to push it back. And I don't know, maybe we'll have to push it back again. But I that for me is just this this test because, like, is it not? Am I not supposed to be doing this? I have to ask myself, as soon as something isn't working, I'm like, is this not for me? And I guess I get scared. Like, is this not my project? Have I wasted? Like, is it just my cue to let this thing go? And instead, I got a nice coffee and I went to the workshop of my now friend and bartering client where we are trading this system of services where we're doing a pretty big marketing and brand plan for him. And he's gonna be using his expertise to just make this this trailer studio of mine look like a mega babe. And um, and he's busy. Uh he's you know, things are popping up for him or his uh his his projects are not going to plan at the moment, so he has to push me back because that's the that's the the trade that we're making. And um, so I have to be patient with that. But at the same time, I need reassurance, man. I need so much reassurance in this process that, you know, at first I needed so much validation on what I was doing. And I needed people to be like, oh my god, you're good at this. Or I needed to just feel so good that I am good. And um then I had a long lesson in not getting that type of validation, um, at least not feeling it. If I did get it, like it didn't hit the same way that it used to, you know? And and realizing that that was something to to not lean on so heavily, like that, you know, because that that is something that you have to cultivate from the inside. And yet, having having gone through that process and really learning to trust and to listen to one's intuition, man, um, now I am at this this moment of have you tried patience? Well, maybe we should try this again, because you don't get to control when. You just don't. And I oh that's one that makes me stamp my foot and it makes me just want to rage and and burn it all down because I'm ready. So ready. And yet, so much stuff has happened in just a week, you know. There's so many projects have come in in one week, things that I'm deeply excited about and inspired by, and collaborations and and so many uh things are happening, and um I needed to be inside of the chariot to to work on quite a bit of things this week because the

Gratitude For The Pushback

SPEAKER_00 18:38

studio with you know the big bay door, this warehouse type studio space that I'm in, is blazing fucking hot. Like, and I, you know, I'm trying to be mindful of how I talk about it because I don't want to be ungrateful, but like Moy Oh Moy, it is it's just a big open, toasty space. And um, I have not really I haven't been going to as much hot yoga and I haven't been doing a lot of sauna because it is so fucking toasty up in there that I am there's like at the end of the day I've drink in I've drink way more water than I I drink a lot of water. I'm a hydrated lady, and yet, and yet more is needed because of just a a toasty space and I you know and I want to be able to to be in this space and paint it up and and and create and get weird and I am I'm doing all those things, but I was so grateful that I didn't start the exterior of the chariot projects uh like you know a week ago because you know the trailer has an AC unit, and so I can I've just been perched up in here working on, you know, a lot of of office type parts and a lot of you know creative direction and a lot of web stuff and just doing the things that I don't really need to be inside of the studio to do, things that I need kind of like to be a hermit in order to do with no distractions and just calm. And I was like, yeah, I just I'm so grateful that the project has pushed back because I wouldn't have I you know I would have been back in the studio probably sweating balls. So to have faith and to have patience that these things really, they really are working out. Um and yeah, there are there's a little bit of a list that I have going that I'm like, what about all these things that have not yet kind of shown themselves? And um yeah, come back to that feeling of like the gift of it is like just trust, motherfucker.

Trust Without Reassurance

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Trust. Like this is what this is. This is trusting because if doubt is so loud, if my doubt is so loud that it will have me abandon something that truly lit me up because I don't think it's meant to be or that I don't think it's gonna work, then I need a great, great, great lesson in trust and in faith in order to counterbalance the absolute weight and the power and the influence that I have allowed my doubt to have over me. And and you know, there's there's no time frame on these things, and that would make me feel great. But also, that would be reassurance. And um, why would you need reassurance if you just so deeply believed that it was gonna work, anyways? So try deeply, deeply believing. Give it a shot.