Military Wellness Collective

EP 50: Real Talk on Early Marriage in the Military- Special Guest Episode Part 2

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Military spouse life will expose what you really trust, and it does it fast. We sit down with Breley and Tatum for a candid conversation about the joys of being a military wife that people rarely talk about, the kind built from ordinary moments like sharing a meal, walking the dog, and finally getting an evening together after duty. Along the way we name the tension most couples feel: the deepest joy often shows up in the same season that feels the hardest. 

We also get practical about military marriage, deployment, and PCS moves. How do you land in a new town and build community without spinning your wheels for months? We talk about finding routines that keep you steady, investing in friendships with people who understand military life, and why a healthy local church can be more than “one more thing” on the calendar. When you move every couple of years, belonging does not happen by accident, and neither does support. 

A big takeaway is learning to live with less control. Orders change, deployments get extended, plans collapse, and your five-year plan might not survive the first phone call. We share how faith, church membership, serving, and being known by real people can carry you through uncertainty and help you grow into a stronger, calmer version of yourself. If you’re engaged to a service member or newly married into the military, this one is packed with perspective and tangible next steps. 

Subscribe for more conversations on military wellness and faith, share this with a friend who needs steady encouragement, and leave a review so more military families can find the show. What part of military life has forced you to release control the most?


SHOW NOTES:

What questions or topics do you want us to discuss on the podcast? Email your ideas to hello@militarywellnesscollective.com

Looking for a local church? Check out these helpful websites:

1. Home - 9Marks

2. The Gospel Coalition (TGC)


Connect with our hosts:

Brian O'Day at Brian O'Day – The Christian Life, Military Service, and Adoptive Families all in one place.

Brittany Brown at Blog | brittanybrown

Pillar of Jacksonville

Pillar Church of Topsail - Home


Support the show

http://instagram.com/militarywellnesscollective


Part Two Setup And Introductions

SPEAKER_01

Hey y'all. Welcome back to another episode of the Military Wellness Collective. We are so excited that you are joining us today. This is going to be a part two episode.

SPEAKER_03

So if you didn't listen to part one, I know.

SPEAKER_01

So stoked. And the second part of our like guests being invited. I don't know why I couldn't work. Thank you, Brian. That was worded much better. So we're excited. If you haven't listened to part one, you can go back. That was released last week and you can hit play and then join us here, or you can just join us here and take what you get from it. There you go. I am Brittany Brown. I'm going to be your host today. I'm joined by Brian O'Day, one of our good friends. Joshua is here in studio, producing as always.

SPEAKER_03

Silently.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Being our good man and timekeeper. And then again, Kelly O'Day is on vacation.

SPEAKER_05

Still on vacation forever. Kelly, come home. She's an educator. She takes 12 weeks of vacation every year. And I don't get to take 12 weeks of vacation every year. Our marriage is great. Everything's great. Also, this is five minutes after the other episode as we're recording it. So it's not like she and I are separated for weeks on end right now. And you didn't. But we have taken weeks on end separated back in our military life. Thankfully, in the pastor life, that happens way less.

SPEAKER_01

And you did take some of the vacation time with her.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, but most of it. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

So let's just be real here, friends. Okay. Well, since this is part two, again, we have it Breley joining us. Hi. And Tatum. Hey. And we told you last week the question that we were going to pick up with. So I'm going to turn that over to Brian and he's going to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, let me say one other thing that I should have said at the very beginning of the last episode. But guys, stay tuned. I think you're going to learn some things. I'm here with a male voice with just us girls around the table. But stay tuned. I think you're going to learn some things. Some of my questions will certainly help you learn some things as well. So stay tuned, men and women. So we left the question what are because Breley had a great point. Hey, just don't picture me crying for two straight years as a military wife.

SPEAKER_03

Thank God. No.

SPEAKER_05

It's been joyful. So what are some of the joys of serving as a military wife?

SPEAKER_02

Do you want to pick that up since we were talking about it last? It might sound cliche, but I

Joy In The Little Things

SPEAKER_02

think just a lot of joy in the little things and like the just perspective of like he's home at night, like that's incredible. Like he was on duty last night. So he like wasn't home for dinner. And like I was not sad, um, just a little bit. But I think just learning to appreciate, like, oh, I get to share a meal with my husband, or like we get to walk the dog together because there's been a significant amount of time where we didn't get to do that. I think a lot of the joy is like growing with God in a way that neither one of us would we would not be where we're at right now if it wasn't for the military in the deployment. Also, just like finding our community together is really, really cool. I think like, yeah, he's my best friend, but we've also gotten to grow and have people like speak truth to us, like older couples. And that's been really fun. And we get a lot of joy out of like coming over here for dinner or just to other people in the church too.

SPEAKER_05

That's really interesting. You talked about finding community together. Do you mean like you both showed up in this new town together and had to build that community together?

SPEAKER_02

So he yeah, he was here first, and he got stationed here October 2022, and I didn't move here until December 2023. But I was coming and visiting for like a week at a time, once a month.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Just to get familiar with the lovely. I love it. Don't get me wrong.

SPEAKER_05

Wow. So from Eighth and I Street in downtown DC, last episode, to the village of Sneeds Ferry, North Carolina.

SPEAKER_02

That my brother calls the boonies because they're from a suburb outside of Austin, Texas. So yeah, I was coming here like once a week, and we just like full transparency. When we started dating, we were not like we were not going to church on Sundays. We were both Christian when we started dating, but we were not living lives like it. We were enjoying all the, I guess, fake good things that DC has to offer. But then he moved here. We had both like gone to church on and off throughout. And so I was just like looking for a church in the area. I was like, we need to try one. Found Pillar, I think on Instagram, and then looked at the website. I was Googling churches in Sneedsbury. Found their Instagram, was like, okay, let's go here. We pulled in one Sunday. I love this story. Do the Sneedsbury Community Center. I said, turn around. I said, I'm not going in. He said, no, we are going in.

SPEAKER_01

Why'd you say that? What does it look like really?

SPEAKER_02

Tell our listeners where we worship on Sunday morning. Where the Sneedsbury Shrimp Festival is held. It's a gravel parking lot. Tin Jack. Yeah. Tin metal building. Yeah, I was like, I'm not going in. Thankfully, he's better than I am and said, No, we're going in. And it's been life-changing since. But all of that to say, like, we started attending, we became members. Well, I got baptized here, became members. Josh married us. Josh and Brittany do our counseling still to this day. Everyone should be in counseling always. It's kind of my opinion. Amen. Amen. It is not bad. It is very good for your marriage. Um, and then just attending life group together and growing in community that way.

SPEAKER_05

Wow.

SPEAKER_01

Man, you in two years have lived a lot of life. Go ahead, Brian. I'm just like, well, that's a lot has happened. He's been gone for over half of it.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe that's why you lived a lot of life, you know?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, that was good.

SPEAKER_01

Were you gonna say something?

SPEAKER_05

I don't have so many things to say. Oh I feel like I feel like if I were listening to this, I'd be like, you know, Brian and Kelly and Joshua and Britney just handed them cards to say all the stuff they've been saying for the past year on this podcast. I promise they've not necessarily read your Bible, go to church, join a small group. Um it does work. It does work.

SPEAKER_00

Sounds corny, but it does work.

SPEAKER_05

That's good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

That you that was great. You said all that, and I just asked about Joyce. So what do you what do you got, Sasha?

SPEAKER_00

After that, I don't know. Joyce, gosh. I think what Bree said is really good, appreciating the little things. I think you learn to appreciate time very differently, and like your perspective changes. Like I remember before before Caleb, it was easy to just kind of like float through life and like just do fun things and like a lot of meaningless

Time, Commitment, And Real Joy

SPEAKER_00

activities, I guess. And then you marry this guy who like kind of becomes your world, and then like everything is very sacrificial, and you have to like learn to appreciate what really matters, and that's time, people, and your relationship with God. So it puts a lot of things in perspective, and then it makes materialistic things very dull, I guess. I think the other thing is you learn about what a real relationship looks like. Dating does not capture what a real relationship looks like at all, and so you learn very quickly like, okay, what is faithfulness? What is trusting this person even when they haven't talked to me in three days because they're gone, and like I'm here, there, there, doing who knows what, and I'm doing who knows what, you know, and it's like you just learn a lot about commitment, I think. So and that's been really good. That's a joy. It's not it's hard, but it's it is a joy, and I think the most beautiful moments Caleb and I have had in our marriage have come from like really hard seasons.

SPEAKER_01

So you're saying what James teaches us to count it all joy when he faced trials of various kinds. Yeah, who knew the Bible had it right? And uh, yeah, so your your girls, uh your women, your young women's greatest joys seem to have come through some of your hardest seasons, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like I was thinking, like, okay, what are some of the really good times Kaliman have had? And like there have been like, oh, he's been home for like a couple months and life looks about the same every day. But I wouldn't even say that that was like my favorite time in our marriage, like, because like our most incredible moments have come when like life has been really hard. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_05

That's so like you you're right, and I I agree with you. Like, there's just something about having a biblical perspective, an eternal perspective, really does help you see the greatest joy in some of the most difficult times. Right. Like you're not talking about like, man, the best moment of our marriage was when we binge watched that show and uh ate Hagendoss out of courts together. And you know, like that's that's that's fleeting, interesting, and maybe enjoyable for a few minutes, but like that's not the deep-seated joy of life. So that's good.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you look like you have something good, bro.

SPEAKER_05

I always have something good. I know.

SPEAKER_01

Go ahead, take it away.

SPEAKER_05

How how has the church and Christian community served you in this life?

SPEAKER_00

I would say specifically, Pillar Topsil does a really good job about fostering community. So you don't just show up on Sunday and then leave and then show up on Sunday again, and that be like the routine. If you get involved and there's some personal responsibility in this too, the church can't serve you if you don't show

How Church Community Carries You

SPEAKER_00

up. And if you're not serving, I think that's a really big thing. Show up, be served, but also serve. I think that they did a really good job at serving in community groups when you're involved. Like my community groups are really good about like seeing us as people because they're so small, you know, you can't really miss somebody. So then when you don't show up, it's like, hey Tatum, where were you? You know, and it's like, okay, I need that accountability because I did just decide to sit at my house and watch a TV show because I didn't feel like talking to anyone tonight, you know. So I think yeah, life groups have been a way that the church has like really served me personally. But what about you, Briley? You have anything.

SPEAKER_02

No, I think yeah, I echo all of that. And then just the friendships with people. Like there were some weeks where I saw a different person from church who are just like my friends. They're not like, oh, that's just like I'm church member. Like, no, they're my genuine like best friends here. I had something to do every single night um during a week and like whether it was coffee or dinner or like Morgan came over for a 20-minute walk one time, and like that was all that I needed. Yeah. So really just showing up that way. And then like, we've been over here at this house at 7 a.m. sometimes, like trying to make big decisions and talk through difficult things.

SPEAKER_01

Whiteboards and markers.

SPEAKER_02

Pro con less. Waited pro-con list always.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you, Joshua.

SPEAKER_05

I'm so proud.

SPEAKER_01

I'm so proud. And if you don't know what a waited pros and cons list is.

SPEAKER_05

Hey, maybe there's another episode. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my goodness. It's different than pro-con. Sorry, Briley. I totally interrupted you. You're good. If you haven't caught on our podcaster studio, it is in our house.

SPEAKER_00

Joshua and it's real weird when everyone's coming up in it. It really is. Communal dwelling.

SPEAKER_01

The door is always open. Yep. But yes, it's upstairs in our guest bedroom.

SPEAKER_05

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

That is so good. Sorry, Briley. What were you saying? Brian has something else, but finish what you're saying. I feel like I interrupted you. I do that.

SPEAKER_02

That's all I was saying about church. I was gonna just talk about another like big lesson that I've learned that I think is like also a joy. And like something God's taught us is like the lack of control that you have. Um much joked on my coffee.

SPEAKER_01

Bringly knows we've had this conversation.

SPEAKER_02

That would be the advice that I could give. Anyone um in a military relationship, but really any relationship, like being very grateful for the perspective that

Learning To Live Without Control

SPEAKER_02

we can control absolutely nothing. And that's really free what we can control, that we love God and love our spouse. And I think that's kind of about it. Because if you'd have asked me my five-year plan when Jonathan and I met, it was to work in the White House and not be a military spouse. And now I don't even know where I'm gonna live next year. And honestly, I'm so okay with it. And just having learned that lesson, like you can control, or you really can't control what their orders are gonna look like. Like Jonathan's first deployment, he found out on two weeks' notice. We had just gotten engaged. Like I had all these plans. That did not happen. I just moved here that first time.

SPEAKER_01

I remember that. Yeah, it seems like so long ago.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. This last deployment, he got extended twice, and his entire deployment orders were completely unexpected. And then, like within the deployment, he called me on a Monday night and was like, he they had poured it and he was like, Do you want to come? So Tuesday morning, 6 a.m., I was on a flight. Like, just like the flexibility, and just that's been such a joy. And like those moments of I've never been a go with the flow person, that's still not something, a word people use to describe me a person. My threshold for that is growing, and that's really just been like leaning on the Lord. And I think a lot of like whether it's whether they make it home for dinner or they were supposed to have pre-deployment leave or post-deployment leave, and they didn't, and they had to work, like something that I remind myself is God knew that we were gonna have that time. Like them having to go into work didn't surprise God. And so, like, God's known what we were gonna need throughout the whole thing. And so just and it was enough. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

So and that's a joy that you found in the heart. Yes. I just keep pointing that out, friends, because if you're listening to this and you're a young military spouse or a young military member, like you're not alone. You've probably heard some of these experiences echo your experiences or parallel them. So yeah, Brian, I know you're burning with something. I see it.

SPEAKER_05

So, what other advice? Like, you got there's some advice that's lingering around here. So, what would you say to someone who's like just they're they're engaged right now? We had a guy come to church like two weeks ago. Actually, this was probably a month ago, but I was talking to him, I was and for some reason it came up, and he's like, Yeah, I'm engaged,

Advice For New Military Fiancés

SPEAKER_05

and we're getting ready to get married, and she's gonna move here. And she was moving from somewhere in middle America that did not sound like military. I was like, Does she know anything about the military? Does she have any? So, like, so she's getting ready to move here, they're getting ready to get married, she knows nothing about military life, no like, no family, no, she does not know what she's getting into. What are some like practical things she could be doing as she moves into this life? Either like in this like lead up to it or in like as she moves into town.

SPEAKER_00

Gosh, there's there's a couple things probably. I think the first thing that comes to mind for me is I don't know if this is common for like every woman, but most of the women I've talked to do this. And they talk about it in dating most of the time. When you meet a guy and you're like, I like him. It's like within a five second spirit like period within your brain, you know exactly what your kids are gonna look look like, where you're gonna live. It's like you're already married to that guy in your head. You're like, yeah, he's the one. But I think in like military life, like within preparing to get married, you have a visual in your brain that you kind of like play through and like probably fantasize about a little bit of like this is what our life will look like together, and this is what our friends will be like, and this is what moving is gonna be like, and you have like all of these very flowery ideas that you feel are so realistic at the time until you get there and it's like, wait a second, what we're we're sleeping on a mattress on the floor. And so I think I think just like being very, very aware of the thoughts in your head and the images that you're setting up for yourself and the expectations that you may not even realize that you're narrating over and over, and trying as hard as you can to not have like these expectations built out because you really have no idea what you're walking into or what that's gonna look like. So I think that's what I would say.

SPEAKER_02

I think also too, like on a to not that that's not tangible, but like a look at what's in the community, like at least for me. Like I looked at gyms, I looked at coffee shops, I looked at rush, like just to try and build, like if you already have existing routines, like you like to go on walks or you like coffee shops, or you go to the gym, like find those places before you move so you can try and keep that routine as much as possible and get community that way. Like a girl that I met at church introduced me to the gym, and she's a Marine, and just now she's one of my best friends here. Um so just finding those things that you really enjoy doing that can keep it as normal as possible helps. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And and like you said, a lot of times at church you'll find other people who have gyms and do those types of things as well to yeah, build your friendships there. No, that's good.

SPEAKER_01

Which we say all the time on this podcast. Like look for the local church you're gonna be going to. If you're finding yourself like, hey, we like Prieley mentioned earlier, we haven't really been, we weren't plugged in really, but we knew this was important. If you know Joshua and I said we weren't even believers when we came into the Marine Corps. But look for that church, make that one of your first things, if I could encourage you, because you need to get plugged into community. You probably have friends right now in Middle America. She probably does. You're about to leave all of that. So it really's talking about tangible things to look for. Tatum's talking about practical expectations. All of that is really, really, really crucial if you're coming into this life.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, something else I'm hearing that you guys are doing that you're just kind of like skimming past that I just want to capture as advice. So you you have joined the church, you are regularly a part of the church, you are finding your friends and everything else in the church. You have that that spills out into you have friends outside the church as well. And that make like when you have community, that spills into other community. So start that community with the Christian community. Y'all talk about your small group. You're talking about in your small group. I know that you guys are also serving in your church, not just like showing up on Sunday and leaving, but you're serving, you're doing things in the life of the church. And part of that is also on the church. And so you want to find a church where you, as somebody who's going to be there for 18 months, two years, three years can actually serve. Regrettably, there are churches where, you know, when somebody finds out you're in the military or your husband's in the military, you know, the opportunities to serve and to lead a small group or to serve on the music team or to whatever, like those opportunities just drop to nothing.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_05

And so you want to find a church where you can actually use your spiritual gifts to grow in the Lord and to serve the church. That is actually a really important part of being a Christian. And that's really an important part of maturing in Christ. So you guys are doing those things you might not even see and realize because you're you're like a fish in water that doesn't realize you're in water. You're in a place where you can serve and ex exercise your spiritual gifts in the life of the church. And so I just want to encourage that and encourage doing that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Well, and something else in it that made me think of like, so yes, invest in your church because even if you're there for like 18 months or two years, like you still you need that community while you're there. I do think other advice that I would give, especially if you're moving um to a military community, like with your spouse, invest in friendships there because this

Friends Who Get Military Life

SPEAKER_02

is guaranteed, like if you have you can have the healthiest relationship with your parents and your friends back home. If they're not military, they will not get it. And you need people who understand because some people, like my parents, I love them. They try the best that they can to support, but they don't get it. And they're very, they're like, really, we just don't get it. Um, and my best friends who I was like, like the people who are bridesmaids at my wedding, they do not understand um what this life is like. Um and so I think it's like two parts. It's understanding that they might say some unhelpful things sometimes. And if you have the relationship, communicate with them. Like, yeah, hey, I understood that you meant that to be really helpful. It actually wasn't that helpful in this instance. This would be better. Um, and hopefully they're receptive to that. But then also take the time to invest in military friendships. Don't just like isolate yourself and be like, I can only be friends with military spouses. Right. But you need those people who you can just sit there with and you don't have to talk about it. You don't have to explain how you're feeling because they get it.

SPEAKER_00

I would highlight Christian military friendships because I military spouse community, it can be very toxic. So having military spouses that are Christians and are also investing the same way into their marriages or at least trying to. We can all be on different fields, but like they're trying to do the same thing you're doing is important because if they're not, their advice to you and their understanding is gonna look very different. So not disagreeing with you, totally agreeing, but just make sure to caveat Christian military friendship.

SPEAKER_05

And I would even add to that some some veterans, some older saints who have maybe walked this military life and and also some people who have never served in the military who are here locally. So it's good, you know, back home, keep those relationships with back home. But you're right, really. Like they can't understand and they can't like proximity matters. And so hopefully we learned something during the COVID nonsense was just like proximity and in person matter. Zoom is not the same as in person. Podcasts are not the same as in person. And so get some community around you, and some of those will be those who have not served. Invest in the community, invest in the city where you are. It's good.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

All right, Breley, you like skimmed over a topic that I think would be really helpful. So you talked about when you and your husband met, you were in DC, living the DC life. Did you say you were working for a representative? So you're like career girl, like you are just you're gonna be the chief of staff. You didn't want to be president. You wanted to be the chief of staff.

From Nominal Faith To Real Faith

SPEAKER_02

No, the chief of staff actually does all the stuff.

SPEAKER_05

Right. Does all the work. Yeah. You didn't want to be the talking hit.

SPEAKER_02

I have one people are mean to the president.

SPEAKER_05

I don't like it when people are mean to me. You want to be the one making it all happen. I like that. Okay. And you said you and your husband were not, you were Christians, but you were not living actively for Christ. Or maybe you had grown up. Could you talk about, because there's a lot of people in that sphere that you just described. So what would you say to yourself in that moment of you're you're kind of Christian or you're Christian in name only?

SPEAKER_02

Yep. I'm that is a great way to put it. I'm like, what would I say to myself? What are you doing? That's a great question. Um what are you really living for? I mean, I think there's grace in that because everyone's walk looks different and sanctification for everyone looks very different. And if I think like I was where I'm at now, or Jonathan was where he's at now when we met and one of us wasn't, like, I don't think it would have worked. I mean, God redeems all things, so it probably would have. But like it was that's just where we were at when we met. But I think we've, I don't know, we've just grown a lot in like what matters and what priorities we have. And it's been really cool. We grew up both in Christian households, but very different Christian households. And so to come to faith together and see kind of what that looks like for us in our marriage and the foundation we want to build our marriage on has been really cool. So advice that I would give is like start going to churches or even just like if that seems really daunting, because in a city like DC, I had tried a bunch of different churches and I was exhausted. And I was like, I just like this just isn't it. Read your Bible together or just like talk to each other about it would be our advice. But yeah, take a look in the mirror. I was like, what are we doing? Like, this isn't the relationship that if our goal is to be married, this isn't what we want to be doing. And I remember we did have that conversation a couple months into dating of like, this isn't what we want.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of times, so joining the military or like some major life change like that sometimes causes us to ask these questions, like what really matters in life? Marriage also causes us to ask these questions, like, wait, what we're getting married, we're building this life together. Like, what are we trying to do with this? Right. And then also birth of a first child, a lot of times can be one of those big life moments where you're like, okay, what do we, what are we trying to do with this life? And so don't, don't numb that. Right. Do not numb that with distraction. I know there's a million distractions and you know, media, social media, smartphones, all the all the culprits of distraction. Do not numb it with substance and do not numb it with surface level nonsense relationships that aren't going anywhere. Engage in those things, those things that you're wrestling through, engage with them and take them to the Lord. I love the practical thing. Like, read your Bible, read your Bible together with your spouse if you're married or engaged, and start trying out churches. Like, go, if you go to bad churches, there's gonna be some really interesting conversations on the ride home or at lunch that day. You're like, okay, what we know today is we're not going to that church. Check that one off the list and go somewhere else. I think we've given some podcasts on how to find a healthy church besides Googling Church Near Me. Yes. Um, which I'm glad it worked for us. I'm glad it worked. Sometimes it works, but Googling Church Near Me does not always yield the best results.

SPEAKER_01

And we'll include some good church search websites that we personally use with our members when they're moving to and fro. I'll put those in the show notes for us. Were you gonna say something, Tatum? No.

SPEAKER_05

This was so good.

SPEAKER_01

So would you guys, this has been fun. I hope you ladies have had fun too. Yeah, for sure, for sure. Um we've just talked about local church and community a lot right here at the end. And you both have been married a little bit of time, you know. You're not like a couple months in, you each at least have a year under your belt, two years

Why Church Membership Matters

SPEAKER_01

too. And Britney, you mentioned something about church or plugging into a church even if you're only there for 18 months. Would both of you encourage young people to join a local church and get plugged in even if you're not gonna be there for a long time?

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna say yes, because joining and just attending are very different. Um can you explain that to us? Yeah, I think joining is one of the first steps you can do to get involved. And I think a lot of the things that we're talking about that are perks of being a part of a church, you have to be involved, which like getting plugged in and serving or getting plugged into community groups, whatever, it looks very different when you're a member of a church and also you're giving the leadership of that church insight into your like life. Now they're accountable for you. And that is one of like the major things that's really important when your spouse is away, is like there are other people that are looking out for you and like know your name. I mean you're on a you're on a roster sheet. Like I know I'm on a sheet and I get prayed for by the elders of my church, and that's that's really important. So when you join, I think that's a clear distinction between when you're just like going. So it's like a commitment, you're committed into that little church commitment.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's good. We're gonna say something, Breley. Nope, that's it. No, Breley echoes it. Yeah, like this. I have even more questions. Go ahead, Brian. No, no, no, no. Joshua will will press the button on me one minute. This has been really cool, you guys. I really appreciate both of you, Breley and Tatum, taking time I do think to stop just one other thing that I want.

SPEAKER_02

Go ahead. Like it is, I think there's a lot of stigmas and a lot of expectations around being a military spouse. Like my parents sat me down and were like, are you sure you want to do this? And they had no concept about what the military was. So they don't even know what it looked like. They just thought it was gonna be like bad. But I think life is hard in every regard for every person, regardless of if you're in the military or not. It's just it's a different kind of hard. And it's been really cool. I think we've grown in, like we've talked about, in ways that we wouldn't have if we hadn't gone through this. And it is just it's a joyous experience the same way any other event in anyone's life, military or non-military, could make it joyous. It's about like your perspective going into it and I think lower expectations in a good way, not in a negative way, but like in a good way. Yeah, yeah. Because then you're open to all the fun experiences that you wouldn't otherwise have. Exactly. Yeah, because it teaches you a lot of those expectations really are unhealthy.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, another thing, like speaking of stigmas, dependent. Like you're a dependent spouse.

SPEAKER_02

Dependa.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so but the Bible calls you uh helpers, helpmates suitable. You are co-image bearers that have instructions from the Lord. And so this is not like you're just some leech, um, just along for the ride. Like you're a genuine part of the team. And so I love you guys doing that and diving into this life.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I just thank you guys for your perspective and just being willing to share some of your own stories here for our listeners. I think it's really helpful. And I'm just grateful. Were you gonna say something? No, no, she's like leaning towards the mic. I'm like, oh, okay, here we go.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Well, thank you guys. So this is our first time, part one, part two. We appreciate you guys listening in on the conversation. If you have topics you want us to talk about, email us. Our email address. I feel like it sounds weird to say at hello at. So our email address is hello at military wellness collective.com. You can find us there or Instagram. And as always, we'll

Stigma, Identity, And Closing

SPEAKER_01

see you back here Monday morning, bright and early.

SPEAKER_03

Thanks, guys.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you.