Military Wellness Collective
Military Wellness Collective is made up of four friends — two retired Marines (Joshua and Brian) turned church planters and their wives (Brittany and Kelli)— who have lived life both in uniform and on the home front. Together, we share real stories, hard-earned wisdom, and practical, biblical encouragement to help military members, and their families thrive in every season. Whether you’re navigating deployments, adjusting to life in a new town, or simply seeking hope in the middle of your military journey, our mission is to equip you with truth from God’s Word and tools for a healthy, resilient life.
Military Wellness Collective
EP 56: Making Decisions Well: Heavy Weighted Pros and Cons List and More
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Your brain isn’t broken. It’s overloaded. When you’re staring down reenlistment, separation, moving, school choices, spouse employment, parenting decisions, and a thousand “best practices” online, decision fatigue is almost guaranteed. We sit down as the Military Wellness Collective team to name what’s really happening underneath the stress: too many options, fear of failure, and a culture of optimization that makes you second guess everything five minutes later.
We talk about why limiting your options is not settling, it’s wisdom, and why social media can quietly sabotage clear thinking by keeping you in comparison mode. We also share two anchors we repeat in our own home: you can only choose with the information you have right now, and you can’t steer a boat that isn’t moving. If you’re stuck in analysis paralysis, forward motion with humility beats perfect certainty every time.
Then we get practical with a tool we’ve used in our family and with people in our church: the weighted pros and cons list. It’s more than listing pros and cons. You write your reasons before God, then weight them with percentages that add to 100% so the real drivers rise to the surface and the “1% reasons” stop running your life. We close with a powerful story about choosing to foster and adopt again, and why “decide” means letting other paths die so you can live the one you chose.
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Connect with us hello@militarywellnesscollective.com
SHOW NOTES:
1. Genesis 1-3
2. Example shared by Brian- Journal entry from 2017... on our Instagram page you can find us at Military Wellness Collective.
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Welcome And Why Decisions Feel Heavy
SPEAKER_03Hey, y'all. Welcome back to another episode of the Military Wellness Collective. I'm Brittany Brown. I'm going to be your host again for this week's episode. Great. And I'm joined as always, well, not always, because Kelly was gone the one few times. The one time. As most of the time by Brian and Kelly O'Day. And then by my husband Joshua.
SPEAKER_00Hello, hello.
SPEAKER_03We're excited to have you guys back here today because we're going to cover another topic that I feel is very relevant to your age demographic and group on making decisions well. And we're going to get to what we like to call the heavy-weighted pros and cons list in this episode. So stick around as we talk about how to make some decisions well. One of the things I was reading online that I was telling these guys about was just the amount of decision fatigue that is plaguing y'all out there. Like even me sometimes. I I read a book a few years ago called Making or what was it, Eliminating Decision Fatigue or something? I don't remember. It was a compilation of authors, but it was really good. So we just want to kind of talk about through that with you guys, share some stories that we've walked through, and hopefully leave you guys with some practical tools to apply to your lives as you make decisions. Cause
Too Many Options And Fear Of Failure
SPEAKER_03we know you're looking at should I re-enlist? Should I not re-enlist? Should I stay in the military? Should I get out of the military? Kelly alluded to in the last episode, finding jobs, doing things as you move around as a military spouse. Should I homeschool my kids? Should I not? All the things that we're inundated with.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, part of the problem is there are so many opportunities. Like for most of you, like the problem is the amount of opportunities. So my dad in his young adult life was a farmer. Why was he a farmer? Because his dad was a farmer. Why was he a farmer? Because his dad was a farmer. Like there just weren't a lot of options. It was like, well, the family farms here, so I guess that's what I'll do. And I just think that was true in a lot of like human history, where for our kids, we're like, you can do anything you want to do.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Which you want to be. Which isn't quite true. Because like I'm not going like at no point was the NFL a viable option for them. All right. And so and and there were other things that were not options. So just I think that's part of the problem is there's so many options. I think the a lot of times people stay in the military because they're like, it it's the easy, like that's the easier decision.
SPEAKER_03Right, an easy choice.
SPEAKER_02Where it feels like if I get out, then what? And it's like you can do anything you want to. You go to school, you can get a job, you can go to school and get a job. You could live here, here. Where are we gonna live? We could live anywhere on the planet we want to. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? So I think part of it is that, and so I would say maybe a first thing is like to thank the Lord, like Lord, thank you that there are these opportunities, and then acknowledge to the Lord this is overwhelming to me. Like I have this many opportunities, and that's overwhelming. Lord, I need wisdom. Lord, I need your wisdom to help me in this.
SPEAKER_04I think another one that I can just attest to is fear of failure, like which touches on a deeper thing of I'm not good enough or I can't do this, which is true apart from Christ. So I feel like it it was good for me to wrestle through that of like yeah, just that fear in making some of the decisions, like this feels scary, like I can't do it, so I tend to, you know, try to get out of making decisions or doing things. So yeah.
Limit Choices To Reduce Overwhelm
SPEAKER_00I read about this investment firm that had like a thousand products that they were selling. And and the way they thought about it was like, okay, if we have all these products, we have something that is suited for literally anyone who wants to invest in any sort of market or bond or whatever. And they had all these different ways in which you could do that. And they would bring in these clients, and these clients would look at these thousand different options to the business. They're like, we can tailor it to exactly what you want. To the consumer, though, who's coming in who doesn't know anything about investing, they're just like I don't even know what they're overwhelmed. They're they're full of fear of picking the wrong one. And so they're like, I just I I don't even know what to do. And they they end up not selling as much. Well, they hired a marketing firm to come to be like, you need you need to narrow this down to three three different choices. Like low, medium, high.
SPEAKER_02Hey, you're this age, so you're gonna retire, you know, in 2050. So we have this investment package for that's gonna help you retire at 2050 or whatever the case is.
SPEAKER_00And then sales went up because the because the consumer didn't have to fear they were picking the wrong thing. They just were able to go, okay, this is where I'm at, this is what I need to do.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so I think a lot of times we need to we need to limit our options. Yeah. Right.
SPEAKER_03And so you need to invest your life in right? You're thinking about investing your life well into limited options.
SPEAKER_02Into limited options. So if we're thinking, so like step one, should I stay in or should I get out, wrestle that out with the Lord. And if it's like it's time to end your service, okay. Now it's okay, can I limit my options? What's in the realm of real possibilities? Let me wrestle that out. So it's almost like we've got to break some of these decisions, some of these big decisions, we kind of need to break up into bite-sized pieces and wrestle out those bite-sized pieces with the Lord. You because uh I can do whatever I want. I can invest in a thousand different things, and that number is even higher now. Like, but we need to limit our options a little bit and pray for wisdom in what those limited options are and and take out some of those bite-sized chunks.
SPEAKER_03Which is what am I trying to say? That would be helpful for the decision fatigue that plagues our time because there's just so much out there, like the investment firm and all that. And I know Kelly and I have talked about this a lot on here, but social media is not helping. And then your attention span being shortened, so you can only watch 16 to 30 seconds of a TikTok reel that is showing you all these options consistently. That's not helping. It's not helping your brain. No, it's not helping your brain, it's not helping it even make those bite-sized choices because you're seeing what everybody else is doing too, and then measuring yourself up against that. And we're I'm not saying that to you, like condemning you out there. I'm saying I have wrestled with this as well.
SPEAKER_02Um I don't want to too hard play that you're a victim, but you are a victim of a social experiment that's been proven to be awful.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's a great that you did not consent to and right.
SPEAKER_02You didn't consent to. You you came to consciousness in the middle of this awful social experiment. And yeah, it hasn't gone well. And so we're we're here to try to help you out of that piece of it. And so as Christians, we can trust that God actually does have a will and a plan for our lives and good purposes for us. I think one of the other like problems is sometimes we're we're so kind of like unsettled in how we make decisions that we're constantly second
Optimization Anxiety And Decision Paralysis
SPEAKER_02guessing. We also used the word, I think, in last episode, optimization is like a big thing right now. Optimize your sleep schedule and your exercise schedule and your food and like literally optimize everything. And so when you do that, you're second guessing every decision you made. Like, oh, I ate chicken. I should have, maybe I was supposed to eat pork because I heard whatever I was supposed to eat steak, or I was supposed to eat fish, or I was supposed to not eat meat at all, or I was supposed to, you know what I'm saying? You're like second guessing every single decision. You get out of the military, and then all of a sudden it's like, oh man, maybe I shouldn't have gotten out of the military, and now I need to figure out how to get back in, or maybe you stayed in and you re-enlist, and about 10 seconds after you reenlisted, you're like, oh shoot, maybe I should have gotten out and now I'm trapped.
SPEAKER_03And I feel anxious, you just saying all that. If I'm honest, I feel like I'm in a panic attack.
SPEAKER_02I'm just trying to unpack the problem because we're gonna get to some solutions, but you need to like take a deep breath and realize I have a decision in front of me, and I need to make that decision before God. As a Christian, I need to make that decision before God, and I'm gonna I need to do that. And then once I've done that, I need to trust that God was with me in that decision making and and move forward.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Joshua.
SPEAKER_02You can't live your life backwards.
SPEAKER_03Joshua always told our kids just make a decision and walk in it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Like, just do it. I also think it's really important too, like with what you're saying, you only have so much information in front of you to make the decision. And so something we we would always tell our kids is like, what information do you have? Okay, you're making the best informed decision you can with the information you have at this time. Because I think some of that anxiety comes with the fear of failure. Like, well, what if I'm missing some information? What if I don't have the optimization, right? Like, what if I don't have the right information? It's like, okay, well, you don't have it. God didn't give it to you.
SPEAKER_02He gave you what you have, which leads to not decision fatigue, but decision you're like paralyzed. Yes. Yes. That's me stressed, paralyzed. And so you're like, I need more information. I can't make this decision. I can't make this decision because I need more information. I don't have all the information. You're never gonna have all the information. You're not omnipotent or omniscient.
SPEAKER_00Sorry. Because you're fearful of the future. Right. Like if you make a decision that you then regret later, and then you're oh man, I I chose to go get this degree. So I started doing this, this, and this. I signed up for all these classes. Now I don't like them, and I'm a year into it, and now I have this, all these classes that I don't like or want or whatever, and I want to switch. Or even you get a whole degree, you spend four years, eight years doing something, and then you go to that job and you're like, I shouldn't be here. Yeah. Okay. Well, God is sovereign over all of that.
SPEAKER_02And you need to, and that's a decision that you need to then weigh before the Lord. Right. Right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02It it's it's easier to you cannot uh you cannot turn a boat that's not moving. And so we have to get moving in a direction, and it's you can turn a boat that's moving. You can't turn a boat that's not moving. That's a great example. Because there's you can be tossed to and fro by the winds and waves of the world, yeah, but you cannot steer a boat that's not moving.
SPEAKER_00And there's so many people that are sitting there at the helm of the boat and they're turning the wheel left and right, wondering which way they should go. Not doing anything. And not going anywhere. The gas doing anything. Go do something until you hit the gas and you start moving. Yeah, you're not going anywhere.
SPEAKER_03So
Small Decisions Reveal Control Issues
SPEAKER_03you guys have mentioned big things. And I just I'm gonna be really honest about this here. This is a minute thing that Josh will probably laugh when I say this out loud, but I have struggled with decisions when it comes to planning and calendars. Like that seems like so small. I am like, but it's real.
SPEAKER_02Are you talking like digital versus analog or like this one versus this whole thing?
SPEAKER_03I need four analogs and I need I need the best system to order my steps, and I'm I'm with you, right? Like, and then I'll be like, okay, maybe I need to get with the times and I need to go digital, but digital's not me. I'm I'm not being my true self. Like I'm talking, so the reason I'm saying this is because that seems ridiculous to some of you out there. Like Britney can't figure out what calendar system to use, or and I and I love paper and I love pens and I love highlighters and color coding and all the things. But it's like, what if I'm gonna miss something? What if I'm not? I I just want you guys to know like this isn't necessarily on big decisions either. Like you can sit and rest in small decisions as well and just make a decision and walk in it in the amount of times Josh, he has his hand on his head because I'm like, oh, I need to move all this information from this calendar to this calendar because this is gonna make my life better.
SPEAKER_00No, it's not actually. So it's small example. One of our kids actually just yesterday was like, Hey, I I can do that chore, and it'll be it on the gosh, I forgot. Instead of that day, and it'll make it'll be so much easier because my schedule has changed. And it was a a weekly chore, simple thing of cleaning something. And Britney was like, But I need Well, you're you're gonna have to see me after dinner because we're gonna have to get that in the calendar. Exposing Brittany be in the right space, but we're gonna have to get in the city.
SPEAKER_03Because I'm like, that's a Monday chore.
SPEAKER_02You're so organized. So let's take this conversation offline and we'll we're gonna have a meeting about this.
SPEAKER_03So decisions can be over stuff like that, or like or somebody else's decisions are impacting your decisions. Like, so as we wrestle through this, like there are lots of problems around decision making that we're having, obviously, I'm having control.
SPEAKER_04And one thing that you said made me think of like what I've heard Brian tell our kids as they because we have four adult kids now, but just even as teenagers, when they were we were trying to push them to make their own decisions and things, they would come and be like, Well, what should I do? You know, they want us, and I want that sometimes. I just want somebody to tell me, like, this is what you should do. I've told Brian that. Like, just tell me. I think that's what I'm saying. But he says, and you just said it, make a decision and walk in it. Yeah. And I remember, you know, like our kids have just been like, well, that's not that's not helpful. I want you to make it. No, make a decision. And then like, don't sit there and be like, did I make the right one? Should I not have done that? Like, don't question it. Like, walk in it. I made the decision, and it's even helped me. Like, make a decision to walk in it. I made this decision, and now I'm moving forward with that decision. I'm not looking back, I'm not questioning it, I'm walking forward.
SPEAKER_02And choose your best. Yes. This is the core, like one of the big cores about what it means to be human. Right? Like, I've wrestled for a long time in Genesis chapters one through three. I just spent years, just kept going back to Genesis one through three. A running joke with Kelly is like when I'm like, all right, where are we gonna start this conversation? Genesis chapters one through three. Like always. Always, always. But I really struggled with like, why did God give a choice? Like, why did you make the rule to not eat of the tree? Like, why'd you do that? Like it gave mankind a choice. Are we gonna obey or are we gonna disobey? And there's a whole lot that could be said on that idea, but just there is something about being human that God has given us choices. Animals spend like almost all like the what animals do is by instinct. Virtually everything. Like we we get impressed that we can like teach a monkey like sign language and stuff like that. But most of what the monkey's doing is based on instincts. Yeah, humans reason, we think, we plan, we create, we decide. Like all those things really come back to decisions. What am I gonna paint today? What am I gonna write today? What am I gonna do today? These are this is really core about who God has made us as humans is making decisions. So I know it can be overwhelming. I know sometimes, and especially in the military, the military makes so many decisions for you. This is what you're gonna wear, this is how you're gonna cut your hair, this is how you're gonna, this is where you're gonna live, this is where you're gonna like every like all those decisions are made for us. And initially that can be a little like overwhelming, but it becomes this like blanket that we just need where we're kind of prolonging that adolescence. Like our kids as teenagers, it's like, that's your decision. You're gonna walk in that decision. I'm not gonna make that decision for you. They're like, it was way easier when you said this is dinner, eat the dinner. This is what you're gonna wear today. That like that's easier, but God is actually causing and desiring and inviting us into a higher level of being.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so decisions are not the enemy, they're not a bad thing.
SPEAKER_02It's actually us oh, they're great.
SPEAKER_03Like being able to live in the humanity God created us to live in. Yeah. Absolutely.
How To Build A Weighted Pros List
SPEAKER_03So obviously, we've identified the problem and we want to talk through some practical tools, mainly the heavyweighted pros and cons list. So if that's a new concept to you, we're gonna introduce it to you today. This is different than just, oh, this is a pro and this is a con. And this can be really helpful. I know the OJs have used this in very specific situations in their lives. Our family, the Brown family, has used this in very specific situations in our lives. And so we don't want to just leave you with like, oh, we see you struggling out there. And well, yeah, we hope it goes well for you. We want to give you this tool. We've used it with members in our church to just help them make when we're talking about big life decisions, some things, or maybe I need to do it with calendar. I don't know. Like what we might need to. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Or yeah, so okay, that's good.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so do you want to describe Brian what the weighted protocol? Yeah, do you think you could break that down? I think it would be easier if we had a whiteboard if we were like Brian has seen introduced this to me in my life.
SPEAKER_04And I rolled my eyes. I'm just gonna be real.
SPEAKER_02As with almost everything I've introduced to you.
SPEAKER_04Like a budget, which we're gonna do.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Stay stand by budgets coming. I love you.
SPEAKER_02But anyway. Sorry for the eye rolls.
SPEAKER_03You should have been in the tortoise and weren't. Um I'm glad you weren't.
SPEAKER_02So discouraged by that. Yeah, okay. So wait a pro con. Imagine yourself standing in front, you could do it with a whiteboard, which is fun. I just love whiteboards there, man. Or you could do it with a blank piece of like computer paper, or you could do it with like a blank page in a journal, right? So you're gonna take that, and if you could get your decision making down to two or three options, I love two. I'm gonna talk about this like you have two options. Let's just use should I stay in or should I get out as an example.
SPEAKER_01That's great.
SPEAKER_02So you're gonna you're gonna draw a line down the middle of your paper, and on the left hand side, you're gonna say, stay in, and on the right hand side of your paper, you're gonna say get out. And I want you to write down some phrases before God, and that's a very important phrase, before God. Why would I stay in? Okay, and it's gotta be things like imagine yourself standing before the Lord. Lord, I would stay in for this reason, write it down. This reason, write it down. This reason, write it down. And then do the same thing on the right side of the paper. Before God, I would get out for this reason. This reason.
SPEAKER_04I love that before God because that eliminates the fear of man answers, I think.
SPEAKER_02My mom wants me to do this, my spouse wants me to do this, my you know, whoever, my kids want me to do this. You can weigh all that in, and you could like a lot of decisions, your spouse should do one by themselves before God, you should do one with yourself before God, and then you compare your notes. So, anyway, so you're gonna do all that. All right. So that's that's maybe what you're used to as a pro-con list in some ways, like just two choices making a list.
SPEAKER_03And then what side has more?
SPEAKER_02Right. And then what we usually do is like the list with the longer one is the one we go with. That's not what we're doing, and that's why we we say before God. Here's where it becomes a weighted pro-con list. You're gonna look just look at one side. So why would I stay in? And you've got three to five things on that list, and you want to weight them, right? Which is the most important? You could do, I like to do percentages that would add up to 100%. Like, okay, as I look at these things, man, this is like 60% of what I'm thinking about. This one's like 20%, this one's like five percent. This is not that big a deal, like this, right? So percentages, you could also do like five, four, three, two, one, something like that.
SPEAKER_03Or like by tens, or by tens.
SPEAKER_02This is a yeah, whatever. But I I like percentages. So of the 100% of this decision, this one, this one or two things is really the top on this side, and then do the same thing on the other side. Here's the thing there's no like magical solution or like math problem that happens. I just what I have found is doing that brings clarity.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it shows you what's most important.
SPEAKER_02Right. You're like, okay, I would stay in because I'm scared of getting out. Okay, that's not a valid reason to stay in. I would get out because God's calling me to plan a church. Like, okay, well, that might be a really valid reason to get out. And so just yeah, just thinking through that. So I think clarity comes through that process and that system. Did the process make sense?
SPEAKER_03Yes, it made sense. And I will maybe create like a Canva graphic or something and add it to the show notes for y'all to click on so you can actually see what it's like.
SPEAKER_02That'll be an example, not like, oh, this is the right answer.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yeah. Sorry if you hear a dog.
SPEAKER_02I think you'll have clarity if you do that. So one example of a time. Did you want to add something to that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I just wanted to m make sure people knew why we wait it and why why you can't just have a list on one side or the other longer. And the reason is is you can have a lot of very silly little reasons on one thing. Deceive yourself. Yeah, you can deceive yourself. So that's why you have to weight them. And if you don't weight them, and you have to have a denominator, you can't just throw out numbers and thought. Yeah, because otherwise you're not actually contemplating how much more significant this item is over another item. And that's why a percentage is great. You have a you have a pool of a hundred percent to pull from. If you have no pool to pull from and you're just throwing numbers at it, then it doesn't actually help because one will be inflated, one will be deflated.
SPEAKER_02That's why I would say use a percentage, and all your percentages need to add up to a hundred. Because like I want to get out of the military because I want to decide what I wear every day. That's like a 1% on that scale. Right. That's you're not going to stand in front of God like I made this decision because I want to wear what I want to wear. Because that's so important. Because God would look at you and be like, that's dumb. Let's talk about what actually matters.
SPEAKER_04And from someone who was initially eye rolling. Yeah. Eye rolling this idea and thinking, what's the point? Because I already have all of that information in my head. What's it going to do to write it? But it really is a good practice. So I'm here to say there are people that this is like, yeah, this is great. We're going to do this, like Brian and Brittany and Joshua too, probably. But like then there's me that's like, why? That's not necessary. We can just we can figure it out. Let's just talk about it. But really writing it down and seeing that is just what I hear you advocating is don't keep it in your head.
SPEAKER_03It needs to come out. It really does. There's something to that. Yeah, because we've been having a conversation with one of our kids. She's like that. She's more like you, like can keep everything in her head. And to me, I'm like, write it out. Like, why can't you figure it out because you're not writing it out? So my child, if you're listening, Kelly just said no. Write that out. Like it is good to empty it out. But yeah. And it makes you be honest. You can't deceive yourself when you have to look at it before God in writing. What is this? You're gonna be a little bit more honest, hopefully, with silly written out sometimes than it does in your head. Yes. Because you're like, what do I really like?
SPEAKER_04I'm embarrassed.
SPEAKER_02You know, that's when to work and you do it in the order I said, like list out all the things, be like, all right, what really matters? And you're like, decide what I want to wear every day. That's that's dumb. Okay. Let me. I could you might even cross some off the list or put a zero percent next to that one. All right, that's dumb. I'll get there one day.
SPEAKER_03Do you have an example of when you've done this? Yes, absolutely.
A Foster Adoption Example And Closing
SPEAKER_03Is that where you're going?
SPEAKER_02So yeah, so we did this, we had it was a big decision. We had adopted four children, and they were still all in our home, and there was plenty of work to do. Okay. Plenty of work, you know, plenty of parenting work. We also had plenty of other things going on in our lives. And we had a question of do we want to keep our license open to be able to foster andor adopt another child?
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02And a fifth child. And we're like, this is big. Like, there's this is big. This like affects all of our lives, everyone's life that is touched by this decision. This is massive. And so I did a weighted pro con and I wrote it out. And Kelly can tell her side, I forget where I brought her into the process, but I remember doing this in my journal at the end of my quiet time one day. And on the like, yes, we should foster adopts another child. I remember one of the things was we knew because of the rules and everything else, we knew that we would have to move houses.
SPEAKER_03That's a big deal. Right. We would have to pick up our family and move.
SPEAKER_02And I remember I wrote that out. We would have to move. If we did this, we will have to move. And we thought we were in a house, we had bought the house, we thought we were in that house forever. It was our forever home, whatever that means. Heaven's my forever home. But anyway, um so and I wrote down moving. And and when I did the percentages, I think that got like a 10%, maybe a 15%, because there was other big things like there are children who need families. Like that was probably the 80% one. And we would have to move became like a 10% thing. And so there would be a temptation for moving to be this like big, massive thing. I don't want to move. I certainly don't want to move in the middle of school year with all our kids in school. I certainly don't want to move, whatever. And so all the things about moving. And and but here's what it did. So it gave us clarity, and we decided, yes, we will. Uh surprise, we have a fifth child now. But um, and so yeah, so that that carried the day. So that was helpful in the moment to make the decision. Yes, we're gonna do this. We are gonna go through this difficulty. And why? Because kids need homes. We still have the capacity, ability, and youth to bring another child into our home. So we're gonna do it. But then when we were moving, there was this temptation to be like, oh, why are we doing this? We're moving, this is a big deal, this is a big hassle, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I remembered, I was like, this is 10% of the problem.
SPEAKER_01It really did help.
SPEAKER_02We said this isn't a big deal. When we made this decision, we said this isn't a big deal. So let's treat this move like it's not a big deal.
SPEAKER_03So it doesn't feel so overwhelming to you then.
SPEAKER_04The Lord, I'm telling you, the Lord met us in that because I felt such a peace when we put that for cell sign in our yard. And normally I would have been like, oh, like, what if nobody, you know, we had to do this before she turned two. Um we didn't say that. But like there was a time frame, and I felt such a peace about every step of it. And it was, it was an amazing like relief.
SPEAKER_02Because we asked, we actually to tie it back to our last episode, we found our purpose. We're doing this move for, and by that time, we met our soon-to-be daughter and everything. So, like, we had our purpose. And so then the pain and hassle of picking up our whole family and four kids and everything else and moving a mile down the road that felt pointless. We had our purpose. We knew why we were doing it, and we had decided this is not a big deal.
SPEAKER_03And it's worth it. So, what you're saying is there when you're making a decision, there's a purpose and why you're making the decision. And what we said in the last episode was who am I becoming by making this decision and walking in the purpose God has called me to?
SPEAKER_02Here's another thing I want to say. Joshua's giving us numbers. Here's another thing I want to say. I I think this was so powerful. I've thought about it multiple times since then. Decide, the very end of that word, decide, where else do we see that? Homicide to kill another person, suicide to kill one's self. Decide is to kill something. So when we decided we are open to foster and adopt another child, we killed the life where we did not do that. When we decided to get out of the military after 10 years, we killed the idea of staying in till a full active duty career. Right? So when you decide one thing, you are killing all other possibilities.
SPEAKER_04Which is a relief in a way.
SPEAKER_02Which can be very relieving, but it's you're doing battle. This is spiritual battle you're doing. So to decide is to kill all other options, but it can be very freeing to kill all those other options.
SPEAKER_03I like that because that's heavy. Instead of like, get whatever I say yes to, I'm saying no to something else. That actually puts the meat to that, which is really good. Yeah, yeah. What were we gonna say, babe?
SPEAKER_00Nothing.
SPEAKER_03He's saying wrap it up. Okay. That's what he's saying. Yes, we hope that this was helpful for you guys out there. I know in our churches, we've walked through this with people, friends who are y'all's age, and just, you know, make in the life stage. Maybe you didn't know how to make decisions, you didn't see that exampled well. And so we hope this is helpful, or maybe you did. And this is just a little another tool in your toolbox. If you guys have something you want to hear us talk about, please email us. You can send that to hello at militarywellness collective.com. Hello at militarywellness collective.com. And we will respond to you and then get your episode idea on the schedule and chat about it. Thank you guys so much. If this was helpful for you, we encourage you to share it and follow along. See you next Monday.
SPEAKER_01Thanks, guys.